Ant’s Doppelgänger & Dec’s Full Body Workout

8:43Declan Donnelly:Sweet, sweet breast milk. Right, I tell you what, Today's podcast is just bizarre.

8:49Ant McPartlin:This has gone mad. So I've done a full body workout. You stopped saying that phrase. But I've also brought a chest with me today. Good. Okay. How's it feeling? No, not this one. Look at this. Hang on one second.

9:02Declan Donnelly:Well, I saw something in the corner. Yes. Is that yours?

9:05Ant McPartlin:This is mine.

9:06Declan Donnelly:Is that the swap? That's lovely. Why are you getting rid of that? This is not a swap. This is... You're keeping that. I can see why. This is a little... This is a very nice looking chest. Thank you. that deck is brought in. Full body work. Almost looks like black leather. Is it black leather? I think it's crocodile. Ooh, fake, obviously fake. Fake crocodile. Not real. No crocodiles will harm the bacon of this chest. With like wooden inlays, silver clasps. It's fancy, isn't it? It's really good. It's very good. Very good. But what's inside there?

9:36Ant McPartlin:Only the best for what is inside the chest. Go on. Have a look. Yes, please. Okay. Brace yourselves.

9:43Declan Donnelly:Oh, I know what it is. I know what it is. I've just seen it. I've just seen it. Dex is going to handle it, put his hand in it, so it comes out the right. Oh, that was a bang. Have you broke it?

9:55Ant McPartlin:Yeah, I have a little bit.

9:56Declan Donnelly:Oh, no.

10:02Declan Donnelly:Oh, my God. I don't know what's worse, Milo. Yours is definitely worse than mine. It is pretty bad, isn't it? So for those of you who are just listening to this, this is Dex's spitting image puppet. I brought mine on a couple of weeks ago. But I only brought the head because the body had disintegrated. You seem to have the body in yours.

10:21Ant McPartlin:Yeah, it's starting to disintegrate a bit.

10:23Declan Donnelly:Yeah, it is starting to disintegrate. Look at your hair. Oh, it is. Oh, yeah, it's falling all over. Oh, the hands fell off. Oh, the hands fell off. There's like loads of sawdusty stuff coming out of it.

10:35Ant McPartlin:But I still got my little shoes on.

10:38Declan Donnelly:Oh, look at these little shoes. Can Wilder have them? I think they're his size. Look at the hands. Look, one hand's left on there. Look at that. Do you remember the person who wrote into last week's pod and said that they could help fix mine? Yeah. So I said, we need to bring Dex in first. So that's what the body should look like with a little suit on and little shoes. So if we can... I mean, yours is... The chin's gone.

11:03Ant McPartlin:Yeah, that's all falling in on itself.

11:06Declan Donnelly:It really is. It's quite gruesome.

11:08Ant McPartlin:It's bad, isn't it?

11:09Declan Donnelly:Let me get my... Hold them up together. It's very hard to... I can't even get my hand in, Mike, because their chin's falling off. There you go. There's both of them. Let's have a look at the moment. There's that in the deck. There you go. There's our spitting image. Puppets. If the offer is still there, but you want to stretch to do them too, we'd be very grateful. And I would show your handiwork in a month's time when you fix them for us. Because we'd like to keep them, wouldn't we? Yeah. Oh, he's dead second. Dexter and his other head. His second head. So I'll put mine in with yours. Yes.

11:41Ant McPartlin:Do you want to stick it in the chest?

11:42Declan Donnelly:Yeah, go on then. Pop them in together. Put them in the chest.

11:44Ant McPartlin:Try and keep the noise down. What are they made of?

11:48Declan Donnelly:I'm not sure. I like probably like a form. It must have been like a form that they could manipulate. Perished. Perished. Good word. Didn't think we'd hear that word on this week's show. Perished. Perished. Dex Body has perished. It needs a poor body workout. That's what that needs. It really does. so no famous guy swaps things this week i'm afraid because uh we've we we don't have anything else to swap we didn't set anything up we didn't last time do you have any other stuff that you'd

12:19Ant McPartlin:like to uh well i was doing a little clear out and i have found right hold on is it kitchen

12:24Declan Donnelly:related again no it's not giving away a slow cooker i don't have any i don't have doubles of

12:29Ant McPartlin:any other kitchen appliances good i think that's good but i do have double something go on shall i get them? Yes, please. Okay, stand by. I was doing a little clear out.

12:40Declan Donnelly:What area? What room for the house? Dressing room. Oh, dressing room. I don't like the picture of his dressing room. It makes me think he's naked. What? Nothing, nothing, nothing. Makes me think of his torso.

12:52Ant McPartlin:I came across these on the top shelf. To the top shelf?

12:58Declan Donnelly:It's not all magazines, is it? No, it's not.

13:01Ant McPartlin:That top shelf magazines. But I came across these on the top shelf of my shoe tower rack thing. Tower? Rack. Shoe tower? Well, it's a rack.

13:08Declan Donnelly:Is everything a tower to you because it's yours?

13:11Ant McPartlin:It's a shoe rack on the wall. My book tower. So they're on the top shelf for a very good reason because I bought them and I didn't like them and they look different on the internet, but I think they got imported from Japan so I can't send them back. So they've just been sat there for ages and I thought, I'll swap these if anybody's interested. Go on. Wow.

13:34Declan Donnelly:Hold on a second. Decker's just put down a pair of possibly my favorite Adidas trainers. They've got a torsion bar at the bottom. Yeah. Gold torsion bar. Yes. They are high top boot, white leather. You've got a strap at the front. Yeah. Hear that Velcro? Good quality Velcro, that from Japan. I couldn't imagine you in these. No. They're not a very Decker and Donnelly shoe.

14:04Ant McPartlin:Well, I remember when I bought them and... They're lush. I love them. Yeah, they're nice, aren't they? Not your size though. I'll try them all. I remember when I bought them and they were in my house in the corner one day and you came in and you went, what the hell are those? Who do you think you are? Rizzle kicks.

14:23Declan Donnelly:Ow, ow, ow, ow. You can't get your phone in there. Kind of. They're kind of in there. Are they in there? But they're a bit like... They're a bit Michael J. Fox. They're a bit back to the future.

14:33Ant McPartlin:They're a bit Marty McFly.

14:34Declan Donnelly:They are very Marty McFly. They're a bit Rizzle Kicks. I do like them, though. They're Adidas. They're a UK seven and a half. Right. That's narrowed your field down a lot. A lot. I think for swaps. Yeah. But you willing to swap these?

14:47Ant McPartlin:Yeah, you can have them if you want. Okay.

14:50Declan Donnelly:So they're good. That's a good swap. It's a good swap. Very good swap. Imported from Japan. Imported from Japan. Can you tell us the purchase price? Or can't you remember? I can't remember. But they were... Chunky? Yes. A couple hundred quid? A couple of hundred quid. Okay, a couple of hundred quid. Woo! We need little discs to rotate them on. Yeah.

15:09Ant McPartlin:Like they're a prize. They're a US 8, UK 7 1⁄2. And I think that's possibly why I didn't wear them either, because I think they're a bit small for me. Because in Adidas, I'm a size 8.

15:20Declan Donnelly:Adidas June, they're called. Toljan Bar at the bottom. My favourite, my favourite of all Adidas. Never been worn. Never been worn by Declan Donnelly.

15:30Ant McPartlin:Well, they were, but then I was told I looked like I was in Rizzle, kicks. Is it because of my

15:34Declan Donnelly:comment that you didn't wear them? I'm so sorry because I really like them. I really like them. No, you've done it now. Okay. Famous Guy Swaps Things is back next week. If you want to swap something for these, I think, pretty cool trainers, they're more of a me trainer than a deck trainer, but they will definitely be a you trainer if you swap with deck. Email us at hangingoutatbellabox.com. All the T's and C's are in the description.

16:01Ant McPartlin:We haven't done this for a few weeks, but I thought we could get the old listener map out.

16:05Declan Donnelly:Oh, yeah, good. Okay. Yes, yes, please. Here we go. World map. Right. I've had a little thought about this. Okay. Now, it's probably more relevant to the UK map, but it works as a world map as well. Right. There's areas in the world that aren't listening to the podcast, right? Like Russia, for example. Greenland, right? China. There's only one little flag in China. Kazakhstan, there's no flags. Yeah. Afghanistan, no flags. So I think the people that listen to the pod could do the hard work for us, get out there and advertise the pod. Oh, that's a good idea. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Not just tell your mates down the pole bar, tell people like you were colleagues.

16:47Declan Donnelly:What I mean is like make a poster, hang it out without the deck, drop it every Thursday and Monday. Yes. So we need you to do the advertising for us. So if you're in one of these places or anywhere in the UK, or anywhere in the world, and your friends, colleagues, or people in your area don't, get out there and do some advertising for us and show us with a photo and we'll show it on the pod. That's a good idea. Obviously, don't hurt yourself. Be very safe. Be safe. Be safe.

17:14Ant McPartlin:But be safe. Have fun. And don't break any laws. We're not bailing you out. Yeah, very good point. We're not getting you out of any jails. Yeah, we're not bailing you. So yeah, do it within the law. Be safe. But yeah, advertise the pod for us. That would be great. It's free advertising for us. Free advertising. We don't have to pay for it. We don't have to do it. We don't have to do it. Wicked. Thanks. Right, back to the map. We have got some new flags. The black ones. We're going to Canada first. To Moose Jaw. Oh, that sounds good. Saskatchewan? Sasquatch? Sasquatch. Sasquatch. Like the Sasquatch.

17:50Ant McPartlin:Like the Sasquatch? Like Bigfoot. Saskatchewan? Sasquatch. Sandra's there. Is she? Yeah. Hi, Sandra. Hi, Sandra. Hi, Sandra in Canada. I feel not there.

17:59Declan Donnelly:That's there she is. In southern Canada. Have I ever been or you go last week? No, I have not. As you can tell, because we can't pronounce the name of it, so I've never been there. We'd love to go to Canada. We'd love to go. Yes. Always love to go. Malifest, Malifest, Malifest.

18:13Ant McPartlin:Douglas is in Stockholm in Sweden. Ah. Sweden. There he is. Sweden. Hi, Douglas.

18:21Declan Donnelly:Hi, Douglas. Ever been? Yes, I have. Did you love it? I did love it. Love Sweden. We hosted the, I was going to say we hosted the MTV Music Awards. We did, but ITV's coverage of it. So we basically, we interviewed people on the red carpet. Somebody else hosted the main thing. But we -

18:37Ant McPartlin:And we linked in and out of bricks.

18:38Declan Donnelly:Yeah, essentially.

18:39Ant McPartlin:Taisa. Taisa. Oh, I love Taisa. And I am, bro. Taisa. Oh, Taisa. I think that's her name. And she's in Brazil.

18:46Declan Donnelly:Oh, I'd love to go to Brazil.

18:48Ant McPartlin:Would you love to go? Please, can I come stay at your house? Never been. Please, I've never been.

18:51Declan Donnelly:Please, I've never been. I'd love to go to Brazil. I'd love to go anywhere in South America. I'd love to go to Buenos Aires. I'd love to go to Rio. Where is she in Brazil? She has not said. It's big country, you know. I know. Big, big country. She looks like she's right. She's slapped back in the middle of it. Or is that just because you didn't know where she was and you just put it in the middle? You plonked it on Brazil. You plonked it on Brazil. Yeah, okay. If the offer is there, is there an offer there? No, there's not. Nothing in breakfast?

19:15Ant McPartlin:Nope. Shame. Let's hot foot it to Puerto Rico. Oh, yeah, okay. Joanne is in Puerto Rico. She's listening to Puerto Rico. Up here.

19:23Declan Donnelly:Have you ever been? I've never been to Puerto Rico. You've been to the Caribbean? I have been to the Caribbean, or Caribbean, however you like to say it. Have you ever Caribbean to the Caribbean? Have you ever Caribbean to the Caribbean? Have you ever been to the Caribbean? Jesus. Wow. Oh, yes. That's what you discombobulate. You'll get it.

19:45Ant McPartlin:Give me 20 minutes.

19:47Declan Donnelly:Where did your feet get burnt? Antigua. Antigua.

19:49Ant McPartlin:We've been in Antigua. And I got an upset stomach in the Bahamas. Lovely. Yeah. That's nice. It's good, isn't it? Wonderful. Lovely. Oh, there's an aeroplane just coming in. Hi, Anton Deck. Hi. And the hecklers. Hi. Love the pod. Listening from Rome, Italy. Ah. Where I have lived for nine years. Have you ever been? I've never been to Rome. Would you like to go?

20:13Declan Donnelly:I'd love to go to Rome.

20:14Ant McPartlin:Well. Oh, hold on. I have lived for nine years. Oh, sorry. But apologies. There's no space in my house for you to stay. However, with your ever-grown list of demands, perhaps the Vatican is best suited to host you. Yeah, cool, okay. Respect, guys. Aoife. Ever-grown list of demands. All we said was a - Ever-grown list of demands.

20:35Declan Donnelly:An on-suite. Demands.

20:36Ant McPartlin:An on-suite bathroom. My own bathroom, that's all I want. No, and clean sheets. And clean sheets. And clean sheets. And Wi-Fi, good Wi-Fi. Oh, and we did say we wanted to give a blessing from a veranda. So maybe it's the Vatican. Yeah, the Vatican, it should be, yes. Yes.

20:50Declan Donnelly:And a big shop. Yeah, get a big shop in because we don't want to just be going and you come up thinking, is this in date? Is this out of date? I don't know. You don't want that, do you? Is that when I go to my mother's? You're never quite sure if it's in date or not. It's true, though. It's true. And she'd agree if she's watching this. You have a bunch of Chris to go, when did they go out of date? You go, 2021? They're fine, man. Get them doing you. They're fine. They don't look at dates, do they? No, they don't. They don't look at dates. My sister invited me mum to her house for Christmas one year, right?

21:23Declan Donnelly:And she, me mum said, are you having Christmas pudding? And me sister said, well, nobody really eats it. Me mum said, I eat it. I'll bring me own. So she brought it around. My sister went, well, I'll make sure I cook it for you. And she opened the packaging. The Christmas pudding was older than my niece. My niece was eight at the time. And she was like, mate, it's got like the whole lid, man. It never goes off. It never goes off. Just stick it in the pan. It'll be fine, Ali did. Did she? She did well, yeah, and she's still with us, so. Still with us?

21:58Declan Donnelly:Did she get ill? She didn't get ill. No, no, no. You see? You don't look a sad bad day, do you? Not really. Not bothered? I think it's a scan. Sniff test. If it smells all right and it looks all right, it's probably all right. I used to be really, like, if it was one day, if it was on the day, I wouldn't eat it.

22:13Ant McPartlin:Yeah, yeah.

22:14Declan Donnelly:I was like, no way.

22:15Ant McPartlin:When we shared a flat, you were like, oh, that goes off today, we can't eat that. like no it's today

22:19Declan Donnelly:yeah I used to be really bad and the older you get and the more you realise of the food wastage in this world that you do your thing I'm not throwing that out for the sake of it I'm just gonna

22:29Ant McPartlin:I'll eat it but we should pay close attention to them

22:33Declan Donnelly:I have to say that legally

22:34Ant McPartlin:says the producer I've got one from Ty hi Ty says you have a listener for your podcast for your podcast where's she from all the way from Qatar Qatar yes just wanted to say hi I want to add, yeah, can't come to stay with me yet because just like Jamie Oliver, I'm busy up until September. Very good.

22:55Declan Donnelly:Very good. Thanks, Ty. Nice callback to a previous pod. I like that.

22:59Ant McPartlin:Listen to this from Elliot Long. Hello, Ant and Dec. I'm listening from sunny Soyo in Northwest Angola. What? Where's that?

23:10Declan Donnelly:Well, it's in Africa, so Angola must be here.

23:14Ant McPartlin:Oh, there we go. Yeah. Northwest Angola. There it is. Admittedly, I don't live here full time. Right. But I work down here on rotation. So I split my time between here and Gateshead. Right. Okay. Right. What a difference, Angola and Gateshead. If you fancy coming to stay, I'm sure we could sort out a couple of spare rooms in the staff house. What? The staff house? The staff house? Does that mean we have to be staff though?

23:42Declan Donnelly:Well, I fancy that.

23:43Ant McPartlin:It's not a TV show. Rooms are en suite, but the kitchen is shared. It's at least a four-banana establishment.

23:50Declan Donnelly:Out of eight? Eight. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I like to think I can rough it, you know, as well as the next person, but I can't.

24:02Ant McPartlin:A four-banana.

24:03Declan Donnelly:I can't. You can't just lose four bananas in a cleanliness hygiene rating when it comes to staying somewhere. I won't be staying there. Thank you Elliot but no thank you No thank you Elliot Oh you're on the screen again in your dirty socks Time for the diary It's diary time Is it is it midweeks?

24:22Ant McPartlin:It's midweek day guys

24:23Declan Donnelly:Oh God I hope you do well I really hope we do well

24:27Ant McPartlin:So let me recap for you how it used to how the charts used to work in the olden days Right So you used to release a record on a Monday Chart day was a Sunday so you'd have the charts on Sunday night it was bath night Yeah, it was. We used to listen to the charts in the bath. So we used to put the radio on upstairs, the charts were on. That's where you used to get your chart position. It's all changed now. Now it's on a Friday, whatever. But it used to be, you used to release on a Monday, you get your chart position on the Sunday. However, halfway through the week, you get your midweek chart position, which is a pretty good representation of how many records you've sold that far and an indicator of where you're going to be in the charts on Sunday.

25:08Ant McPartlin:So today, we got our midweek chart position for Why Me. Have we got a jingle?

25:13Declan Donnelly:We do. This is from Courtney.

25:15Ant McPartlin:Courtney, let's hear it.

25:20It's not bad.

25:27Declan Donnelly:I quite like it. That's it, that's it. It's short. I quite like that. It's quite ethereal at the beginning.

25:33Ant McPartlin:It is. Isn't it? It's a bit like... A bit Billie Eilish-y. It's the 14th of April, 1994. Day 18 of Life on the Road. Say ooh, ah, 25. Say ooh, ah, 25.

25:46Declan Donnelly:Is that what you wrote? Brilliant. Say ooh, ah, 25. That's our midweek trial position, 25.

25:53Ant McPartlin:Got the midweeks today. Guess where we are. You guessed it. That's what I've said here. Got the midweeks today. Guess where we are.

26:01Declan Donnelly:Who are you talking to? Who?

26:05Ant McPartlin:Guess where we are. You guessed it

26:08Declan Donnelly:I wouldn't be surprised if he wrote future me Guess where we are future me Because who else is going to read this 25 Well done

26:16Ant McPartlin:It may drop But hey We're in the top 40 Brackets Fingers crossed Fingers crossed Fingers crossed Anyway A last minute change of plan Meant we had to do Liverpool tonight Instead of Blackpool For a last minute change There was a massive crowd and they were pretty darn good too. Darn? A few troublemakers... Oh, was there? Oh, I know where we were. ...tried to spoil it again with spitting and the odd flying bottle bouncing off my knee. We had a relaxing afternoon at Pleasure Island, though. Did we? Yeah. That's not a brothel. It's a theme park. Not like the last one. Beat Ant at air hockey. That's a lie.

27:02Ant McPartlin:That's why you're lying in your diary. A few times. That's such a lie. A few times. And I won bowling too. That's a big fat lie. In brackets. Touchy subject.

27:16Declan Donnelly:Brilliant.

27:17Ant McPartlin:Brilliant. Dominique. You see? You see? No, thanks, Jade. That's funny. No, thanks, Jade. Dominique, our tour manager, wasn't very happy at the security and stuff, but we got through. Loads of birds backstage. Birds!

27:35Declan Donnelly:Oh, how 90s of you. He wouldn't say that now. How very David Hay. Yeah, he wouldn't say that now. What happened with these birds?

27:42Ant McPartlin:Only a few that rated, though.

27:47Ant McPartlin:And that's the end of the diary. You were so sexist. Oh, that's the old lust. We're not like that anymore. Well, that was the end of Midweek's Day. Good diary.

27:55Declan Donnelly:What happened on the air hockey and the bowling? Touchy subject. Touchy subject. I was furious with you. You won the Grand Slam. You won the Leisure Olympics. I did. Didn't you? Pleasure Island. It was pleasurable for me. Yeah, not for me. Miserable Island, more like it. What a shame. So 20... Oh, got an aeroplane coming. From Heckler's Corner, which says, Hi, boys. Loving the podcast. Dex Diary reminded me of one of mine. Extracted a little below from a trip with my friend Katrina to Blackpool. We've been best friends for over 30 years. And honestly, this story has been told so many times. We've spent the last 28 years being two women with an incredible celebrity encounter.

28:41Declan Donnelly:Have a great run on the podcast. Have a great run? Have a great run. She doesn't think it's going to last. Just have a great run. For now, enjoy it. Enjoy the world lasts because it won't last for long, says Michelle and Katrina. Do we have it? Do we have the diary? It's in the drawer behind you. This is Michelle's diary, part one. Ooh. The 22nd of July, 1998. Me and Katrina are on our second date in Blackpool and we went to see Summer Holiday with her mum and dad, which sounds boring, but actually it wasn't. The show was really good. It was a good show. But the best part was when we found out Ant and Depp were going to be there.

29:23Declan Donnelly:Like, actually, there. After the show, we waited by the stage door and they came out. I cannot even explain how cute they are in real life there's a lot of things in capitals with an exclamation mark we got photos with them actual photos after following them for years we can't believe we met them she's very excited about this story my mum and dad are never going to believe this when I get home but I will show them the photos and then they will have to believe me

29:55Ant McPartlin:no AI in those days no such thing as AI

29:58Declan Donnelly:We're back in the hotel room now on our own and we literally can't stop talking about it. I don't think we'll sleep tonight. I might actually explode. Oh my God. Do you have the photos to show us on the screen? We'll just read them. Read on. Michelle's Diary Part 2. 23rd of July, 1998. Worst day ever. Oh no. We woke up so excited to get our photos to go. We still had five photos left on the spool so we quickly took some more and went to Boots. used to do that in his cheek.

30:30Ant McPartlin:Blackpool's on.

30:31Declan Donnelly:Everything was going perfectly. Then we opened the camera. The spool hadn't been connected properly. It wasn't even clicking. It wasn't moving, in capitals. That means all of the photos from Blackpool, all of the photos meeting Ant and Dec, gone. Full stop. Not there. Full stop. Never existed. It's like it never happened. We're crying. Properly crying all day. No one is ever going to believe us. No one's going to believe that we met them. And now there is no photos. We hope we meet them again one day because this is actually devastating and unfair.

31:20Declan Donnelly:Unfair. What a great word to put in the diary. This is unfair. on the plus side Katrina won the pink teddy in the grab machine so that cheered us up a little bit but still absolutely ruined and we go home tomorrow oh Michelle no way Michelle and Katrina from 1998 I'm so gutted for you what a shame

31:46Ant McPartlin:and nobody ever believed that never they met us well I don't know if I believe it well I don't know if I believe it

31:51Declan Donnelly:because I don't remember meeting them I don't remember meeting them And this was in the 23rd of July, 1998. So that was the summer before we started SMTV Live. So why were we up there? Why were we in Blackpool? Oh, summer holiday, she says. Summer holiday. Yeah, that does ring true. We did go and see summer holiday in Blackpool.

32:11Ant McPartlin:Yeah.

32:12Declan Donnelly:Because your girlfriend was in it at the time with Darren Day. So that did happen. So we probably did meet her.

32:18Ant McPartlin:We might have done.

32:19Declan Donnelly:Might not have, though. Maybe this is a big ruse. Maybe. Maybe. But what do we do? do we be nice guys and invite them down so we can have photos? Or do we just not believe them and put the diary back in the drawer? Not believe them? Short man, believe or not believe?

32:37Ant McPartlin:I believe. I believe. I do believe. I do believe. Michelle, Katrina, we believe you. We do believe you. Why don't they come to the auditions

32:45Declan Donnelly:in Blackpool for Britain's Got Talent? And make sure you've charged your phones with cameras on it so when you take photos you can show people and they believe you. And? Come down and meet us.

32:54Ant McPartlin:The auditions for Britain's Got Talent in Blackpool are at the same theatre as Summer Holiday was, so we can have photographs at the stage door and recreate the photographs.

33:05Declan Donnelly:Michelle, Katrina, it was meant to be. It was meant to be that you sent in your diary.

33:09Ant McPartlin:Come to the Britain's Got Talent auditions in October in Blackpool.

33:13Declan Donnelly:When you say recreate the photos, what do you mean? I'll dye my hair ginger.

33:16Ant McPartlin:Was my hair ginger at that point? I had to shave all my hair off. Or spikes, spiky twists, twisty spikes. You get your twisty spikes and I'll find a shirt that looks like a pair of curtains. And we'll recreate the photos at the stage door in the Winter Gardens. It's a date. Meet you there in Blackpool later in the year. Cannes Film Festival this week. Ever been?

33:41Declan Donnelly:Of course we haven't.

33:42Ant McPartlin:But unfortunately, we don't have our movie quite ready yet for the film festival. No, we don't. But there's some good movies, though, being screened. at the Cannes Film Festival. Have you seen any of the red carpets? Over the years I have, yes. There's been some good red carpets down in Cannes. It got me thinking about, actually when we did make a film, Alien Autopsy, and we had a premiere in Leicester Square. Do you remember this? We had three premieres. We had three premieres.

34:08Declan Donnelly:We had one in Leicester Square, we had one in Newcastle, and we had one in Dublin.

34:12Ant McPartlin:Amazing. And we were very excited. We'd made the film, and we had the Leicester Square premiere coming up, and the film company went, we've had a brilliant idea for the premiere instead of doing a red carpet because it's an alien film we're going to do a green carpet

34:29Declan Donnelly:I mean how is your luck a green carpet you know these are this is the thing of dreams you know to have your own movie and a red carpet leading up to the to the audience in Leicester Square that's like stuff that kids dream of that it's aspirational and the one time it happens for us they turn it into a green carpet there you go there's the photo there and it's snot green that's not alien green that is a snot green carpet we had three premieres so we that was the first one in leicester square which was really good and glitzy and there's quite a lot of camera crews and everything and the second one was in newcastle which was as glitzy and the third was in dublin which was as glitzy but by the time you get to the third premiere so what you normally do is you'll walk down the red carpet, you'll talk to all the news crews and everything on the red carpet.

35:20Declan Donnelly:Then you go through and you do a little Q &A on stage with the director and then you sit, take your seats, watch the movie with everyone. Get the reactions. By the time you get to the third premiere, we didn't sit and watch the movie. I couldn't sit through it again. We're not going to sit through it three times.

35:36Ant McPartlin:We're in it. You've seen it. You can't sit through that three times. It was three premieres in about the space of five or six days. So by the time we got to the Dublin one, we did the Q &A. we did that and here it is enjoy the film it went really dark it went really dark and we sneaked out and there was a pub next door and we went and sat in the pub and I think there was a match on and we sat and watched football yeah we did and drank in us and drank in us

35:59Declan Donnelly:how long are the red carpets?

36:01Ant McPartlin:sometimes red carpets can be as long as the awards ceremony or the film you're going to see so sometimes I mean like the Oscars there you see them they're on the red carpet for hours like here when we go to the BAFTAs that red carpet's about an hour long

36:14Declan Donnelly:and some people turn up to just do the red carpet and then go, which I find bizarre.

36:21Ant McPartlin:They turn up in their frock or in their outfit or whatever, and they do the whole red carpet and they have photographs all the way down. They get to the very end and have the one big photograph with the board at the back. And then sometimes they don't even go in. They just go straight and get in the car and go home.

36:35Declan Donnelly:We've been lucky because we have been doing it for so long, you're not overwhelmed by it. It's still a bit awkward, but we're not overwhelmed by the occasion. You just, you know, you do it. It's a means to an end to get into the venue. But I can imagine for people just starting out and say you're a kid actor and you get nominated for a BAFTA and you turn up to the TV BAFTAs and you are left on the red carpet. That must be tough.

37:03Ant McPartlin:Yeah, because it can be quite overwhelming.

37:05Declan Donnelly:That must scramble your head. That must discombobulate it. Yes, especially if you're 20 minutes early for it.

37:10Ant McPartlin:Yeah, exactly. Imagine that. This is an advert for Gemini, Google's personal AI assistant.

37:18Declan Donnelly:Right, I've got a border pic with you. You know, the other week you were berating my cardigan. Well, it... Berating. I didn't berate it, but I just gently poked fun at it. So I thought we'd put this matter to bed. Let's just ask Google Gemini. Let's Google Gemini. So, Gemini, are cardigans sexy? Cardigans can definitely be stylish and attractive. Some people might find them appealing.

37:40Ant McPartlin:Some people might find them appealing. Doesn't sound very sexy to me. Hang on a minute. Let me get you on the camera. I'm not wearing a cardigan. No, no, but... It's a jumper. That's all right. Gemini, on the whole, what could Ant do to elevate his look?

37:54Declan Donnelly:You could try incorporating some trendy items like stylish sneakers or a modern jacket. Don't be afraid to experiment with bold colours and accessories to show your personality. Right, this is my personality, Gemini. Navy blue with cool trainers. and a bracelet. That's it. It's very slimming. With Gemini, you can chat with a truly helpful AI assistant. You jump in, brainstorm ideas, ask for more details. You can even show it what you're talking about. It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done. Download the Gemini app today to unlock the real power of Google AI on your phone.

38:31Declan Donnelly:Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus. This is an advert for TV licensing. Lots of great telly on at the moment. Yes! What are you watching? Have you watched on ICV Secret Service? I haven't yet. It's good. Sounds amazing. It is. Shall I read you the blurb? Go on. What's it about? It's a British spy thriller starring Gemma Archeton as an MI6 officer who uncovers a possible Russian mole inside the UK government. I know this, I know this, I know this. As she investigates, she's forced to choose between national security, lightly, and her own safety. I'm four episodes in, so I've got the last one to go.

39:11Declan Donnelly:So no spoilers, you lot, right? You've seen it. It's very good. So if you were in the Secret Service in real life, what would your fake name be? What would your cover job be? Because I've thought about this a lot. Have you? Yeah. Well, my fake name is probably, I couldn't stray too far from my real name because I'd just get caught out. So it'd have to be like Andy. Andy McNabb. Oh, that's a person, right? Is that a person? He's an SES man. Oh, yeah. Don't go with that one. No, no, no. Andy McBubbins. No. Tony Mac. My name would be Tony Mac. Tony Mac. My name would be Tony Mac, and I would do this job.

39:51Declan Donnelly:What, you'd be a TV presenter and a podcaster? Yes. What? It's the perfect rouge, isn't it? Because I get to meet loads of different people. I'm never really doing the same thing twice. All my jobs are in different parts of the world. And I can just, as I go through passport control, they're like, what are you here for? I'm just here for TV presenting, but I'm not. I'm here to spy on you. But anyway, it's good. Up to, I can't really rate it properly with a banana rating, but so far, seven bananas. Amazing. Let's hope the last step doesn't let me down.

40:22Ant McPartlin:Did you see Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Recently got their seventh, top prize winner, their seventh millionaire. Oh, I read about that, yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Great episode. I have got the million pound question. Do I have any lifelines? You do have lifelines. 50-50. Right. And ask the host. Okay, go on then. Used since 1876, which trademarked logo is described in the James Joyce novel Ulysses and depicted in works by Manet and Picasso? Is it A, Bass Ale? Is it B, the famous grouse? Is it C, Coca-Cola? Or is it D, Stellar Toi?

41:01Declan Donnelly:That is tricky, but I don't think it's Coca-Cola. So we'll get rid of that. Let's go 50-50 first before I speak any more.

41:08Ant McPartlin:50-50 leaves you with Coca-Cola and Bass Ale.

41:13Declan Donnelly:Oh, well, okay then. Well, I don't think it's Coca-Cola. Oh God, I'm going to be so wrong. Bass Ale.

41:18Ant McPartlin:Final answer. Yeah? You've just won one million pounds! No way! Well, that was a guess in a half. You need to go a million there. You need to go a million there. I will, I will, I will. Still doing the business, man. Bloody brilliant, man. So much great telly. A TV license covers you to watch over 400 TV channels, including the ones we've talked about today

41:37Declan Donnelly:and BBC iPlayer. To find out more, go to tvl.co.uk slash pod. Did you know about one in three people with plaque psoriasis

41:48Ant McPartlin:may also develop psoriatic arthritis, which causes joint pain, stiffness and swelling? Does this sound like you? Listen to what it sounds like to be a million miles away.

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42:45Ant McPartlin:Tell me what we haven't done for a few weeks, and the day is drawing closer. What day? Tattoo day. We haven't sorted out your tattoo yet. We haven't? No, we haven't. We haven't done it for a few years. We've had more. Good. We just haven't had a fair amount of time.

42:57Declan Donnelly:When is the day? Because I might need to do a few full body workouts before I get my body out. Do you need to wax or anything beforehand? Oh, see, see, definitely see.

43:07Ant McPartlin:Very hairy man. So we've got, these are the possibles so far, but also we've got some new ones in here. So let's have a look at the latest ones. See if you like any of these. if any of these float your boat. Right, we've got this one

43:28Ant McPartlin:from Luke in Hertfordshire. It says, hi lads, greetings from Hertfordshire. Greetings, Luke. Me and my sister Rebecca are big fans of the pod. Thanks. And we watch on the telly, only 50 inch, so not worth attaching a photo. Okay. I've had you both on telly for our whole lives, 24 and 26 respectively. my sister has designed a tattoo for Anne to take a look at right it is a pizza box representing Saturday Night Takeaway with XX inside the band for Roman numerals for 20 20 years of takeaway oh right surrounded by 8 bananas signed with the pod slogan Respect Guys that's from Luke well and Rebecca

44:11Declan Donnelly:Luke and Rebecca as nice as that is I feel like it's just a rip off of what we've already had do you remember we got all of these tattoos. Yes. And there was one in there with a pizza box. And it said Saturn and I take away. And we got the A-Pananas. So, I don't think we can take this. I think they've just taken two ideas from previous people and amalgamated them.

44:33Ant McPartlin:Or maybe they haven't stolen the ideas. Maybe it's just, you know, two people can have the same idea. Just trying to be kind. And maybe it's... Intellectual theft. Intellectual theft. Maybe they've had the same idea and have come up with a similar design. We're not having it? Slight rip off, but it's staying on the body. Okay. This one is from Dawn. Hi, Dawn. It is quite the design. Oh. It is combining two of your favourite things. You and? No, well, no. Bananas. Obvs. Obvs. And? And? The Angel of the North. Whoa! That's weird! It's the Angel of the North made out of bananas. It's one big banana for the body.

45:17Ant McPartlin:That's so phallic and weird. And then a huge banana across for the wings. What?

45:22Declan Donnelly:It's a bit weird. It's weird. I love it. It's creative and it's a one-off. Nobody, and I mean nobody on this planet will have this tattoo. And I'm for that. The more you look at it, the more it draws you in. Is that all we got them too? No, no, no. I've got one more. Okay. This is probably as good as it gets. Just stick it in the belly for now. Okay. I do have a tattoo across my belly there, which is a winged sun. So I couldn't replace that. I'm not going to tattoo over that with a banana. So I'm not quite sure.

45:56Ant McPartlin:Because we could change your wings, son. No, no, no. I'm not changing them. Change your wings into a banana.

46:01Declan Donnelly:I don't want to change your wings into a banana. I love the Angel of the North and I do like bananas. Therefore, you're right. But together, I'm not sure. Got one here from Bethan. No, it's no,

46:15Ant McPartlin:no, you're lying. E? Bethany. Bethany. I knew it. Hi, Andek. Hi. Please find attached my tattoo design for Ant. It is a pair of cheeky monkeys. Sexy and nice.

46:28Declan Donnelly:Hanging out together. I like it.

46:30Ant McPartlin:That's from Bethany.

46:30Declan Donnelly:That's cool. That's quite cool. Do you not like that? I quite like it. Do I have to put the sexy nice on? The kids are like that. I've had that. Two little cheeky monkeys. My wife loves monkeys. So I'll just say I've got this for you. Yeah. I say, you know you love monkeys and you know you like sexy and nice things. You're welcome. You're welcome. I'll put them together. I like it. I like it. Where'd you put them? On me arm. On me arm there. That's where I've got a gap. On me left arm. Oh, okay. I quite like them. They're cheeky. I like them. They are cheeky. Two little monkeys, sexy and nice.

47:04Declan Donnelly:Hoo, hoo, ha, ha. Do your best monkey. Hoo, hoo, ha, ha, ha. Good, eh? I win. I didn't win bowling. I didn't win out. but I can make a better noise of a monkey. That's it for this week. Oh, God.

47:17Ant McPartlin:The day is drawn closer. What have I done? D-Day, Decision Day, T-Day, Tattoo Day.

47:23Declan Donnelly:In all seriousness, I thought there would be... Better. Better designs than this. Nah, soz. And I've committed, this will stay on my body forever. At the moment, there's nothing, and I mean nothing, the Cyber Cow picture included, there's nothing that I really want to imprint my body with. and that's not going to happen. I don't know why it's still on there. I like it. It's not setting me world on fire though and I've got to do it. I've committed to doing it so I've got to do it. So please. We've still got a couple of months. This is a heartfelt plea to all of you out there. Get in touch with better designs and I'll pick the best one and imprint my body forever.

48:01Ant McPartlin:Hanging out at belterbox.com. Let's raise the game. I took the kids to the pictures the other day. Did you? To see The Magic Faraway Tree. Oh, yeah. Starring the lovely Claire Foy. Lovely Claire Foy. And Andrew Garfield. Loved it. Did you? It's so lovely. Is it? Well, I've never really read the book. What do you mean never really? Well, I've read kind of every other chapter. Right, why? Because when we do bedtime with Isla, she's got the book. So I'll read a chapter. But then Ali does Isla the next night. And then I do Jack. So then I'll read a chapter and then I'll come back the next night. So I've read every other chapter of the book.

48:44Ant McPartlin:So sometimes I don't quite know what's going on. So I've never really read the book, but I love the movie. Oh, good. Yeah, it's really lovely. You can imagine it's going to be on telly every Easter from now on. Great story, great performances. Claire Foy is fantastic as always. Garfield's brilliant. Garfield. Garfield the cat. No, he's not in it. Andrew Garfield's brilliant. Nicola Coughlin from Derry Girls is a fairy who's fantastic. Mark Heap, who was in... Friday Night Dinner. Friday Night Dinner and in Our Thing on Saturday Night Takeaway. Yes, he was. Which one? Bigwig? What was it called?

49:23Declan Donnelly:Murder at Bigwig Manor.

49:25Ant McPartlin:That's it. He's fantastic in it. It's really lovely, really heartwarming, very funny. Written by Simon Farnaby, who wrote Paddington and Paddington 2.

49:34Declan Donnelly:I love the Paddington movies.

49:36Ant McPartlin:So he wrote it. It's very funny. Very heartwarming. Come on. Get to it. Banana rating, please. Seven and a half bananas. Oh, wow. That's high. That's the highest you've ever given anything. I think it is. It's lovely. How long was it? It's a little bit long. That was my only thing. Last 10 minutes, the kids... What was the run time? The kids got a little bit jittery. I reckon it was an hour and 45, hour and 50. Right. But it was just a little... The kids got a little bit twitchy at the end. Right, okay. But loved it. Good. I'll watch it then. Yeah, it's really good. It's really lovely. The kids will love it.

50:11Ant McPartlin:Watched a good movie the other night. Have we got a banana rating? We do have a banana rating. Come on.

50:15Declan Donnelly:What was it? So you and I love a heist movie, don't we? Yes. We do like a heist movie. It stars Chris Hemsworth. Brilliant. As the robber. It's called Crime 101. Terrible title. That is, yeah. It doesn't make sense. It sounds like a BBC One daytime show.

50:31Ant McPartlin:Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Hosted by Gloria Honeyford. Yeah. Angela Rippon.

50:37Declan Donnelly:Welcome to Crime 101. It's really good. It's really good. I'm not going to give anything away. I'll just say it's on Amazon. Prime Video. I will give it six out of eight. That's good. That is good. Saturday Night, if you want a big blockbuster-y movie, but it's not ridiculous blockbuster-y. Oh, right. Good. Okay. It's got a good story to it. Really good performances in it. He's particularly good. Crime 101. Terrible title. Good movie.

51:02Ant McPartlin:There you go. Saturday Night Film. straight after Britain's Got Talent. Yeah, perfect. Six bananas. Love it. The Chair Company. Is it good? It's very good. Good! Stars Tim Robinson. From I Think You Should Leave. I Think You Should Leave, which is a sketch show on Netflix. Funny.

51:17Declan Donnelly:The funniest, stupidest sketch show ever.

51:20Ant McPartlin:And this drama, comedy drama, is in the same vein of that. Right. It's about a guy who works in a company that builds shopping malls. Right. And he's been promoted to look after this next big project. And he does a big speech at the very beginning. So he does his speech. He gets a big round of applause. And he walks over to the other side of the stage where other people who work there are sitting. And he sits on the chair. And the chair collapses. Right. And everybody laughs at him. And he goes back to his office. And nobody mentions how good his speech was. They just go, oh, my God, you fell off the chair.

51:53Ant McPartlin:So he wants to put a complaint into the chair company. Right. And so he Googles the chair company about how to make a complaint. and he can't quite get to the right place to make a complaint. And then he goes, so who is the chair company? And then he starts delving deeper and deeper into who the chair company is. And there is a bigger story to it. Funny? Very funny. Completely stupid. Would my wife like it? Probably not. Okay. It's a bit silly, but you get so involved in it. Where it starts out, it's such a stupid basis of eight or ten part series that he just wants to make a complaint because he fell off a chair.

52:38Ant McPartlin:Right. And then he gets into a whole world of espionage and spying. Right, okay. Oh, good, okay. And breaking into warehouses.

52:44Declan Donnelly:This seems like something that I need to watch on my own.

52:46Ant McPartlin:Yeah, it's definitely a year. On the way to Australia. Well, I watched it on a plane. Right, okay. I did like seven episodes on the plane on my own. Did you? Yeah, it's great. Right, okay, I'll watch it. It's stupid, but funny. and it hooks you in.

52:59Declan Donnelly:It's anywhere I'll watch it. On the way to film the new show that we've just announced, which hopefully we'll be getting eight bananas in the future from you guys. Holy moly. Oh, I'm so excited. Do you want to know about it? We haven't talked about it on here before, have we? It is basically, it's a brand new show. It's been on in the States and in Australia, but it's a new show and it is a supersized version of mini golf. where the competitors play a supersized course in the hope of winning the plaid jacket, a golden putter, and a small prize total. But it's brilliant. It's silly, funny, family-friendly.

53:44Declan Donnelly:It's really good. Can't wait. Can't wait to start shooting it. It's the world's biggest mini golf tournament.

53:50Ant McPartlin:So you know like Crazy Golf, where you have to hit it through the windmill? This windmill is massive. And you hit the ball through the windmill, and the propellers are going, and then you have to follow the ball through the windmill without getting hit.

54:00Declan Donnelly:And you might get hit. And you might get hit.

54:02Ant McPartlin:Probably will get hit. And if you get hit, you're off and you're in the water. There is a slip and slide one with a massive polar bear that you have to climb up a slippery slope to hit your ball back down the slope.

54:15Declan Donnelly:There's another hole called Cornhole where it's a giant sweet corn and you've got to hit your pot and then make your way past the sweet corn. but you don't know which piece of corn is going to pop out and turn into popcorn. And if it gets you, you're in the water.

54:31Ant McPartlin:So it's big, it's silly, it's funny, but also it's very, very competitive.

54:38Declan Donnelly:And it's very us because, you know, we love golf. And I didn't give away my putter, did I, last week? No, you didn't. On our last week's show. Oh, that's why. For a very good reason, Declan. He's going to use it. I hope I can take on the course. We should definitely do the course. Oh, yeah, we've got to. I mean, we're not taking part, we're hosting it. That's the only reason I'm doing the show. I want to play it. We want to play it, right? Yeah, definitely. Okay, good. We film that later in the air, so hopefully it'll be on air next year.

55:02Ant McPartlin:Should we have a look at some letters?

55:03Declan Donnelly:Yes, please.

55:03Ant McPartlin:Let me get the post bag.

55:05Declan Donnelly:Bring it over.

55:05Ant McPartlin:Ooh, there's a parcel in here.

55:07Declan Donnelly:Is there? A parcel? For me. Who's it for? Who's it for? Is it an apple pencil? It actually says, hanging out. It says, hanging out here. Oh, really? On the address. That's cool. Fragile. Fragile, eh? No, no, no. What?

55:24Ant McPartlin:Don't do that.

55:25Declan Donnelly:Don't do that.

55:26Ant McPartlin:It's fragile.

55:26Declan Donnelly:Is it that fragile? Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought it was a joke.

55:32Ant McPartlin:Yeah, I often do that. Put fragile and stuff and send it through the post just for a laugh.

55:39Declan Donnelly:Who can open this one? Either. Either? Should I start with this? Yeah. Start with the fragile box? Yes. Should I just bashed? Oh. To Ant and Dec. really enjoying the pod and it's taking me back to the SMTV live years. I used to write in all the time. I phoned him for wonky-donky and I even sent in a massive crisp, but it never got featured. Sad face. Do you want a sad face? I was eating some crisp today. Oh, no.

56:11Declan Donnelly:Ah, I can see where this is going. And I saw this one. Hopefully it gets you in one piece. Soz. Well, it did get us in one piece. Whether it's still in one piece now. Respect, guys. Candice. P.S. It does make it, if it does make it to your post bag in one piece, I think I deserve a prize. Okay.

56:29Ant McPartlin:So if you don't remember this from Saturday mornings from SMTV, there was one Friday night I was around my house at Eaton Bag of Crisps and I pulled out the biggest crisp out of my crisp packet and I was so excited. I ran around to Anne's house and knocked on the door. I said, look at the size of this. And he said, bring it in tomorrow and we'll do it for sure. So we just showed a massive crisp and got people to send in big items of food that they found.

56:52Declan Donnelly:But then we started eating them. I started eating the crisps. Live on air. And it wasn't until somebody said to us, people might have spat on the crisps or anything. Oh yeah, I didn't think of that. I just thought it was funny. This is quite exciting. So let's slide it out on the desk. This is brilliantly packed. This is like something from the Antiques Roadshow. you know when they're like slowly unwrapping it with white gloves on is this

57:25Declan Donnelly:it's alright it's just a crisp

57:32Declan Donnelly:it's just a crisp that's just like a normal crisp isn't it yeah I've got some crisps out here I've got some crisps in my lunch So this is not set up. Let's just see if there's any sizes in here. Well, let me just have one. Any sizes in here. No, no. That's a good point. The biggest one, that one and that one. Hold on. It is pretty big. But that's a small bag. If I was to buy, like, you know, a big grab bag, I'd expect it to be a crispy bag that size. Yeah.

58:11Ant McPartlin:What does it taste like, though? Well, it smells. Oh. It's like a jambon. Oh. Like a chamon. Oh, yeah, it smells good. Like a chamon.

58:21Declan Donnelly:I'm trying to get these mixed up. Thanks, Gandies. Nice trip down memory lane and all that, but you're not going to win a prize. I expected more. I expected much more. That was quite a build-up. That was a big build-up. There's a lot of unwrapping. As unboxing videos go, it felt quite short.

58:39Ant McPartlin:That's not really doing it for me.

58:41Declan Donnelly:Nah, throw it in the bin.

58:42Ant McPartlin:No.

58:42Declan Donnelly:I'm not going to wrap it back up Put it on the shelf Put it on the shelf Good idea Put it in front of baby John Paul And see if it lasts There we go I appreciate the trip down memory lane Candice Thank you very much

58:54Ant McPartlin:Got one here From Paul Hi Paul Hi Ant and Dick Me and my partner Holly Went to Tesco the other day And were surprised to see Ant's van parked in the car park Does Dick know you have another job? Cleaning ovens

59:09Declan Donnelly:What? It's him again It's him again. That's the guy from the ice cream. That's so good. That is the guy from the ice cream. That's so good. How are they getting away with this? How are they doing this?

59:23Ant McPartlin:We've got to recreate this at the end of the pod. Okay, we'll do that.

59:26Declan Donnelly:Obviously, we had to take a photo. Respect, guys. Paul. I get it. Paul, that's brilliant. I don't know. Somebody is ripping me off big style. And I don't like it. Once was fun. Two is copyright infringement. Anyone got a sponge? Oh, it's wet. What have you been wiping up? Can you recreate that? I think I probably can. Left hand up.

59:47Ant McPartlin:Thumbs up. We're not looking at you. Yeah, head tilted slightly to your left. And looking down. And just turn your thumb out a bit. Ah, sit and stretch it out a bit.

59:59Declan Donnelly:Yeah!

1:00:01Ant McPartlin:There he is. There he is.

1:00:05Declan Donnelly:I love it. I'm going to sue. Not this guy. Whoever comes up with that, it's me. So they're just using me to advertise different services and products. You've got a trustworthy face. If I find out who I can sue, I'm going to sue the illustrator. But thanks for your letter. This is an advert for Santander. Who understand that saving for your first home can feel almost impossible and the role to owning can be a bumpy one?

1:00:33Ant McPartlin:First one here is from Alex. Dear Agni Santander, I need your help. I live with a housemate and she is so messy. There's always hair clogged in the sink, piles of dirty dishes on the side. I hate that. Mouldy fruit in the fridge and she never takes the bins out. I'm looking to buy soon. So I know this isn't a forever problem, but it's really getting to me and I feel like I should say or do something. I'm not great with confrontation though. And we're both in the house a lot. So I don't want to cause any friction. Any advice on how to manage the situation?

1:01:04Declan Donnelly:You've kind of boxed yourself in here, haven't you? You're not great with confrontation and you don't want to say too much, yet these things are building up inside you and you've got resentment, it's going to come out one way or the other. So whether you confront that person directly or it comes out indirectly in a massive row about something trivial, it's going to come out.

1:01:25Ant McPartlin:Is there a way you could do it with like a, maybe a chart on the fridge?

1:01:32Declan Donnelly:Yes, charts work. My daughter's at uni and that's what they do. Right, okay. She got the chart system in and I think that's the way it's the fairest way to do it some kind of chart system

1:01:40Ant McPartlin:jobs on a chart Alex you might have to just do the bins you might just have to suck up and do the bins that's alright

1:01:46Declan Donnelly:bins is easy bins is actually easy bins is easy it is hairs in the sink I'd much rather do the bins than hairs in the sink pick and choose your jobs but if they're slovenly and they're slobby there's not a lot you can do about that just take away the calendar till the day you move out

1:02:04Ant McPartlin:I think a chart on the fridge wrote her jobs. Yeah, you've got to wrote her it. You do. Yeah, and if the jobs aren't done, then there's a penalty, like, she's got to buy a takeaway. Got another one here. This is from Chloe. Dear Agony Antander, hi. My boyfriend and I have recently bought our first place together. Woo-hoo! And I've been so excited to properly decorate and make the place our own. However, there was one small issue. We completely clash in our taste of what looks good. I want it to be a calm space, neutral colours, tasteful prince, nice candle on the coffee table. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has this gnome wearing a football kit he wants to keep in the living room, wooden ducks in wellies and a collection of ugly canvases he wants on the walls.

1:02:52Ant McPartlin:We obviously had these things in our last place when we were renting, but it was so tiny, I managed to convince him there wasn't space and to keep them all in storage. But now it's our proper home together. I don't feel like I'm hating on his things. but at the same time they are horrible any advice on how I should handle it

1:03:08Declan Donnelly:dump him dump him he has terrible taste dump him and his ugly stuff dump him and his ugly stuff you can't put that you know you're mature now you've grown you can't be putting that crap there that's for student digs and for yeah it is that's for rented accommodation and studio you know house shares it's not for your first home to get that no but I do think this should be compromised it can't all be her way yeah she seems quite controlling Maybe she's the problem.

1:03:38Declan Donnelly:Give a little. Give a little bit. Life is all about compromises. You've got to give a little bit. You do. So what's the least offensive thing? They all sound quite offensive. Yeah, they do. The gnome wearing a football kit. Depends what football kit is. If it's black and white stripes, that's not offensive to me.

1:03:52Ant McPartlin:You can't, look, you can have the gnome in the house, but maybe not in the living room. In the back on.

1:03:57Declan Donnelly:The gnome is for the gun, right? So that's interesting. I think if you're looking out the kitchen window and we put it right in our line of sight, that would be better because every morning you come down and say, morning, Norm, like dress it up like it. It's a really good idea. Make him think that he's had the idea.

1:04:13Ant McPartlin:Yeah.

1:04:13Declan Donnelly:Or put everything on the side and then accidentally break them.

1:04:17Ant McPartlin:I mean, that is the other thing, isn't it?

1:04:18Declan Donnelly:That's the way to do it.

1:04:19Ant McPartlin:When he comes back one day from the pub and oh God, Norm, his head's fell off. Yeah. It was a, there's been a terrible accident. Bit of compromise. Compromise. But definitely don't let him have it in the living room. Nah. Santander's First Home Saver account encourages you to save a little and often, rewarding you with a prize draw every time you save£100. You've got the chance to win£10 ,000 that could go straight towards your first home deposit.

1:04:45Declan Donnelly:Save for a chance to win. Search Santander First Home Saver. Tees and Cs, please. 18 plus UK residents only one times£10 ,000.

1:04:56Ant McPartlin:£10 ,000. £10 ,000. £10 ,000.

1:04:59Declan Donnelly:18 plus UK residents only 1 times£10 ,000 price per month from May to December 2026 gain an entry into months draw every£100 increase your Santander first home saver account balance within that month max 100 entries per customer per month T's and C's apply

1:05:12Ant McPartlin:we should have done it but well done well done we're going to mess it up god Santander it starts here well I think that's all we've got time for this week

1:05:22Declan Donnelly:yeah just briefly yes still haven't spent anything have you not didn't bring it up no so can I quickly just before we go can I have a banana Oh yeah, go on.

1:05:29Ant McPartlin:Quickly, call me, call.

1:05:31Declan Donnelly:This is week three. Still haven't bought. Thank you very much. Don't want to make it all about me, but give me a banana thing. Oh yeah! I love the dice of that. Thank you.

1:05:41Ant McPartlin:That's really good going.

1:05:42Declan Donnelly:Thank you very much. Jack, we've just found out that those shoes are worth£400. So you know.

1:05:47Ant McPartlin:My trainers? Yeah. That I'm going to swap?

1:05:49Declan Donnelly:Yeah. 400 quid? Yeah. I told you there'd be like a collab or something. Something rare.

1:05:55Ant McPartlin:Is it too late to put them on eBay?

1:05:57Declan Donnelly:You can't put them back out now. Why not? You can't pull out. I can't. No, you've said you're going to swap them.

1:06:02Ant McPartlin:You're kidding me.

1:06:03Declan Donnelly:Get in touch if you want a pair of 400 pound trainers. Oh my God, I feel sick. Back to the list of guys. See you next week. Respect guys. Come on, get them out of here. I can't change your mind. That's it.

1:06:13Ant McPartlin:I'm going to have to fuck this out.

1:06:14Declan Donnelly:Here you go. Bye.