Ant’s New Glasses & Dec Loves BTS

9:28Ant McPartlin:Talking of looking like dicks. Yes. At the wedding. The segway today. Go down. We're not on holiday. We're on it. We're on it. I met this guy at the wedding and he really made me laugh with something he said. Go on. And it was, I think, a backhanded compliment and he was talking about it. He's like, I was a big fan of SMTV Live growing up. It's my favourite thing. I grew up on it. And he must have been in his kind of late 20s, early 30s maybe. He says my favourite thing. He said, I loved chums. I loved challenge aunt. And I love wonky donkey. He said, basically, I love how you were both total dicks to kids.

10:12Declan Donnelly:That is a compliment, I suppose. Is that a compliment? It is, yeah. It is. Okay. Because that wasn't our plan was to go out there and be dicks to kids, was it? naturally it's just our presenting style we've had a couple of comments about the the mini golf

10:30Ant McPartlin:segment which we'll be doing again this week oh good did people hate it a couple of people said we're not interested a couple of people said i need to hear the end of ant story so mini golf is where one of us gets one minute to talk about golf um when the horn blows so it's not so the

10:51Declan Donnelly:podcast isn't doesn't become basically a golf podcast so if you listen or watching like mini golf please let us know in the comments because we need to prove the hecklers wrong um and if you have any golf tips any swing tips any cutting tips please get in touch with us and we can we can

11:08Ant McPartlin:incorporate it into mini golf can anybody teach me how to chip i can't chip i keep hitting people on the head or or I keep chunking it and then just topping it and it bubbles I can't I can't get a nice chip can anybody teach me how to chip please good

11:25Declan Donnelly:yeah good good this is good and I need to talk to somebody about drivers can we start mini golf right now

11:32Ant McPartlin:no you have to wait till the time comes okay hey I did another exciting week I've become a great uncle again

11:40Declan Donnelly:yay hey

11:43Ant McPartlin:my nephew Dominic and his wife Sarah had a little baby a little baby human and yeah I'm now a great a great uncle twice like twice in what was that two months yeah well done thanks wait for ages

11:56Declan Donnelly:and then two come along at once two come along at once

11:58Ant McPartlin:do we have a name we do have a name yeah they've named the baby after my dad oh after it would have been his great granddad uh-huh and my dad's name was Alphonsus great name very good they've named the baby Alphonsus. That's a cool name now I think. Is it? I think they'll probably shorten it to something but yeah, great uncle. I feel incredibly old. Aww. Don't feel old.

12:29Declan Donnelly:I was talking to kids yesterday, we had a moment where while I was drinking our reese like, not a sippy cup, so it's about this size. It's like a mini water bottle and it's got, what about you? It's got the straw at the top. Yes, We like that. So it's got dinosaurs all down the side. Oh, yeah, I love it. And then he's flipped the lid up and he's sucking like this. And he's loved it all holidays, but he's a big boy cub. Daddy, water owls. And he's getting more frustrated. And we're like, what is he talking about? Anyway, so I took it and I had a little suck out of the straw. And it made that noise.

13:04Declan Donnelly:It must have been, I'd recently watched him. So bless him. He thinks this owl is living in his water bottle. Oh, that's so cute. So we all said, yeah, the owls. Oh, yeah, walk for the owls. Yeah, there's more owls in there. I mean, he'll be traumatised when he really thinks about it. He won't be able to sleep at night. Not as traumatised as all the ghosts he sees. Oh, no, well, it wasn't ghosts, was it? No, that's true, yeah. It was an open door, closed. Ghosts first, owls in his water bottles. What next?

13:34Ant McPartlin:It's very spiritual, isn't it?

13:36Declan Donnelly:It's a bit woo-woo.

13:38Ant McPartlin:I've got a little message here. we've had a lot of messages in from people on their holidays joining Are you talking to me? Yes I'm talking to you I'm telling you about my message we've had a lot of messages from people on their holidays telling us where they are to join the Hanging Out Tourist Board Adam is in Marseille Oh hi Adam Hi Adam Have I been? Have I been in Marseille? I don't think I have I've never been The Jackson family are in Alpe de Huez Where's that? Is that in the Alps? France I've been there. France? Well, have you ever been to the Alps?

14:14Declan Donnelly:Yes. I've been to the Alps. I've been Swiss. Swiss Alps. Swiss Alps. Not French Alps.

14:20Ant McPartlin:French Alps.

14:20Declan Donnelly:Right, no. Can't help you.

14:22Ant McPartlin:Rachel and Sean are in Carvero, Portugal. Is that how you pronounce it? Carvero? Carvero. They're in Carvero in Portugal. Ever been?

14:34Declan Donnelly:Hola. Portugal, yes. Many times. Many, many times.

14:37Ant McPartlin:Carvero? Never been. Never been. Haley's in Tenerife. Oh, yes. We've been to Tenerife. We've been to Tenerife. Hola. Tenerife correspondent. Sharon and Tony are in Marmaris in Turkey. Oh, I bet it's hot in Turkey. I bet it's hot. What? But you know, Sharon and Tony, they love the sun, don't they? They love the sun. They do. They just sit out there. Two leather handbags.

15:02Declan Donnelly:They love it. Because sitting there all day.

15:04Ant McPartlin:Whatever the weather.

15:05Declan Donnelly:Two crocodiles.

15:06Ant McPartlin:drinking Spantlemon around the pool. There are correspondents in Turkey. Good. Ellie is in Zanti. She is currently listening in Zanti in Greece. Absolutely love listening to the podcast every week, she says. Usually listen on the way to work but now it's even better listening on a sunbed in Greece with me boyfriend Tom. Respect guys from Ellie in Zanti originally in Derbyshire. Hi Ellie. Ellie is on. I wonder if Ellie's

15:32Declan Donnelly:just finished the air levels because a lot of the kids who finish the air levels they all head off to Zendii now. That's the place to go. Is that where they are? That's the last party symbol in Zendii. Isn't it, Fiona? Yeah. And Magaluf. And Magaluf. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

15:48Ant McPartlin:Alan is our correspondent in Slovenia now. Oh, Alan! Alan is in Slovenia. Ever been? Never been. Yeah, same here. I'd like to go. He was on holiday in Slovenia last week and went to the Technical Museum of Slovenia.

16:04Declan Donnelly:Sounds dull

16:05Ant McPartlin:but tell me more He's not one for a sunbed he can't sit there He can't sit in the It's too hot for him

16:11Declan Donnelly:Yeah exactly

16:11Ant McPartlin:He needs to do something Well he went to the Technical Museum which is a massive place with quite a range of different exhibits from cars to tractors At one point Sorry I really switched off This does get more interesting Okay At one point I came across a statue which I think looks suspiciously like an older version of Ant as a priest What? That is very good.

16:38Declan Donnelly:What the hell? That's not very good. It is. No, it's not. That's not me, Alan.

16:43Ant McPartlin:Okay, let's do that a bit of me. He says, is this statue an ancestor of an, or maybe a future glimpse? Oh, maybe it is, Alan. Well, interestingly, when we did our DNA journey, you had a priest as an ancestor. Do you remember? I did.

16:59Declan Donnelly:I did have a priest as an ancestor back in Drumkiran in Ireland. where my ancestors are from. He built the church there. He did build a lovely looking church as well. And maybe a statue. Maybe he travelled around. Do you know what? The more I look at it, it is a bit of me. That's what I'm going to look like when my eyebrows turn grey. There you go. Wow. Thanks, Alan.

17:23Ant McPartlin:Okay, Alan, I'll take it back. Good story. Jennifer is now our correspondent in Corfu. Hi, Jennifer. She says, have you ever been to Corfu? I haven't. I don't think so. Don't think I have. Jennifer says, Happy holidays, guys. Just watched your hanging out on holiday while eating breakfast on holiday in Corfu. No bananas available on breakfast, unfortunately. What? She's got a nice slice of bacon there, though, and a bit of tomato. That looks a nice little setup she's got there, doesn't it? It does, yeah.

17:52Declan Donnelly:Look at that. Having her breakfast. She's watching the pod. She's got the pool in front of her. That is brilliant. Mind you, a zero banana rating for that buffet if you don't have bananas. No.

18:01Ant McPartlin:I don't get that. She's had a great relaxing holiday with her husband and son. She's got here eight out of ten bananas, as there's always room for improvement of the husband and son. But she says, Respect, guys. Love from Jennifer, your foreign correspondent in Corfu. That's good. I like to see photos like that. And if you see there, if you see her on the photo, she's got us on the podcast on her phone in Corfu while she's having breakfast. She says, does this count as guerrilla marketing? Yeah, kind of. if you turn around

18:32Declan Donnelly:and let the other diner see it,

18:33Ant McPartlin:then yes. As long as you laugh heartily and go, oh, this is a brilliant podcast. We should all be listening to you.

18:40Declan Donnelly:you don't wear your headphones when you listen to it so everybody in the restaurant hears it. Because I know Dec doesn't like that kind of thing normally. Normally I don't. Unless it's him. But if it's him that he doesn't mind. Then I'm thrilled. Dean is also in Corfu. Does Dean know her? Don't think so. They should meet up and watch the podcast together. Dean, why didn't you pop round? Because the buffet it's pretty good bring your own bananas though because they're liking them and then you can sit and watch the podcast together save on somebody's battery but you know

19:08Ant McPartlin:what Corfu's like this time of year it's incredibly busy so we do need two foreign correspondents in Corfu yeah that's cool Dean says hi guys loving the podcast eight bananas whilst on holiday in Sadari Corfu I came across a Gyros restaurant whilst on holiday in Sadari Corfu I came across a Gyrosh Gyrosh Girosh restaurant. You know what a Girosh is, right? The kebab-y thing. The kebab, yeah. To my surprise, I saw a familiar face pointing back at me. Now, I know times are hard with the cost-of-living crisis going on, but surely, Anne, surely, Anne, you shouldn't be stretching yourself so thin working so many jobs.

19:53Ant McPartlin:Anyway, it was the best Girosh, Girosh, Girosh I have had all holiday. Thank you, Anne. or should I call you Dr. Grill?

20:03Declan Donnelly:Whoever painted that picture, I hope they're getting a really good bit of money from this because the picture of that guy who looks like me, right, is all over the world. A lot of jobs, as Dino pointed out. Ice cream man, he makes girosh. He's done something else, didn't he? He's a plumber as well, isn't he? Yeah, he's a plumber. I mean, whoever did do that in the first place, I hope they get some decent wonga for it. The question is though,

20:31Ant McPartlin:the question is how much are you getting out of it? Nothing. Sweet FA. Sweet FA. Nothing for me. And it does look like me. You need a better agent.

20:41Declan Donnelly:I do need a better agent. I've got the same agent as you.

20:44Ant McPartlin:Oh yeah.

20:45Declan Donnelly:Maybe we should sack our agent.

20:47Ant McPartlin:Hold on.

20:47Declan Donnelly:Our agent's your wife. How's that going to work? It's time, Derek. It's time.

20:53Ant McPartlin:Oh looky, Ali. You're out of there. Listen, if you're on your holidays, let us know where you are. let us know what you're doing whether it's any good and you can become our foreign correspondents the hanging out foreign correspondents all around the world get us your holiday recommendations in please hanging out at beltabox.com

21:14Oh

21:14Declan Donnelly:is it me? Firstly can I just say congratulations to Foxy Declan who won the open we had a sweepstake Declan won the open you picked did you pick Fox? No I didn't Oh, you didn't pick him. No, I didn't pick him. Anyway, I'm wasting time talking about the open, which finished on Sunday night. I'm still wasting time. Okay, I'm struggling with my driver. Now, I used to hit my square, Callaway square driver really far and really straight. So every time I bought something new, I don't hit it as straight. 10 seconds. What I've realized is it could be in the shaft. I think the shaft on the square is whippier than the shaft on my other drivers.

21:57Ant McPartlin:So I took three drivers. Let's time out. Okay. Where you've left us is that you've got problems with your shaft.

22:04Declan Donnelly:Yeah, it's too whippy. No, no, I want it to be whippier, my shaft.

22:07Ant McPartlin:You need your shaft to be whippier.

22:09Declan Donnelly:My shaft at the moment is too stiff.

22:12Ant McPartlin:So Ant's got problems with his shaft, ladies and gentlemen. If you've got any tips or hints about how he can flex up his shaft. would you recommend a more

22:22Declan Donnelly:flexi shaft for 18 hand cover or would you do you think I should persist with a more stiffer shaft that is the question I'm throwing out to our hanging out golf fans out there so please get in touch and let us know

22:36Ant McPartlin:hanging out at bellabox.com yes let us know still haven't seen Peter Jones on the golf course no he's not here so we haven't been able to pitch him anything on the golf course have we haven't pitched the ice cube thing

22:46Declan Donnelly:didn't pitch the mates

22:48Ant McPartlin:the mitt on the back which we think

22:51Declan Donnelly:it does exist I've had a lot of people contact me since the pod's gone out that it actually exists

22:56Ant McPartlin:really

22:57Declan Donnelly:there is a thing Fiona sorry or was it Lola

23:00Ant McPartlin:it was Lola yeah she's so embarrassed where is Lola she's not even come in today yeah she's off

23:04Declan Donnelly:right she's actually on holiday isn't she

23:06Ant McPartlin:yeah she's on holiday where is she

23:08Declan Donnelly:is she our foreign correspondent in

23:10Ant McPartlin:in I think London I think she's having a week off in London in London oh okay

23:15Declan Donnelly:so let me just let me just point this out to you So we're actually on our holidays and we're zooming in to do the podcast. You're still in London, as is she, and she is not. No. Part of the podcast.

23:29Ant McPartlin:No, I know. Probably I'll check her contract length.

23:32Declan Donnelly:Yeah, I've got her here on my phone. So it's only three months. Cool.

23:39Ant McPartlin:She's still on probation, isn't she, anyway? Yeah, she is. She has to have a review. It's been a year at probation.

23:45Declan Donnelly:Anyway, do we have any more hacks? Has anybody sent any more holiday hacks in? We do. Oh, we do?

23:52Ant McPartlin:I've sent you one, Anne. Great, okay. Thank you.

23:55Declan Donnelly:Let me have a... Oh, this is a long one. Hi, Aunt Deck in Hegla's Corner. Hey. Hey. First of all, loving the podcast. Brighten's up on Monday and Thursday in the week, so thank you. Thank you. I think you'll love the invention that my husband Rob's created. Like you, Deck, we have a problem with pigeons. Ooh. But on our roof, because we have solar panels and are attracted to them because of the heat they generate. Are they?

24:23Ant McPartlin:That's interesting.

24:24Declan Donnelly:Oh, you'd think they'd burn their little clothes off. So my husband decided to create an extension of what we call the pigeon scarer. He cable tied a window cleaning pole to a fishing net together and uses it on a daily basis. As soon as they hear the net against the roof and see the net coming, they're away and they fly off. So next time you're playing golf with Peter Jones, offer him our invention. Respect, guys. Love, Sarah and Rob. Basically, it's like a pool cleaning pole. Yes. You clean a pool with. And they've put a fishing net, one of the nets that you actually have when you're out fishing to collect the fishing, to the pole.

25:05Declan Donnelly:And what, they just rattle it off the roof to scare the pigeons?

25:09Ant McPartlin:So there's a bit of manual labour involved in this.

25:12Declan Donnelly:A lot of work still.

25:15Ant McPartlin:doesn't it like if you're sitting there watching the telly and then you hear them on the roof you go I'll go and do the pigeons it's not something that just exists on the roof which scares away pigeons no

25:24Declan Donnelly:that's what I thought it would be because you know you can get like plastic owls or plastic eagles and you put them on your roof and the pigeons think they're a real bird so they don't maybe they should just do that so hang on a minute I'm not going to pitch that to Peter Jones that's just this is all getting embarrassing guys

25:42Ant McPartlin:but what I'll tell you what What I don't understand here is they've got the pool cleaning pole, which ordinarily does it not have a net on it already to fish stuff out of the pool. It either has a net on it or it has a brush on it. So they've taken the net, the pool cleaning net off and replaced it with a fishing net to scare the pigeons.

26:05Declan Donnelly:None of it makes sense. There's all kind of madness. It's a bit like they've done it. Yeah, there's too much work gone into it.

26:11Ant McPartlin:there's a lot of thought and none of it has been very good

26:17Ant McPartlin:can I banana do I have a banana like this yes

26:21Declan Donnelly:zero sorry Sarah and Peter

26:27Ant McPartlin:is that too harsh was that too harsh why is that too harsh I just feel bad for them because it works for them

26:34Declan Donnelly:that's good but it's not an invention deck no I suppose alright we have one banana Does that make you feel bad?

26:41Ant McPartlin:Yeah, that's better.

26:42Declan Donnelly:One banana. One banana.

26:43Ant McPartlin:I have one from Jeff from East London. Jeff, man! Jeff, man, he can't see! Jeff, man, he's got a hack! Jeff, I'm blind! Jeff said, hi, guys. I have a great invention for cleaning your Venetian blinds. Just wear a pair of white cotton gloves to clean the blinds. I got the gloves from a fancy dress costume for an Edwardian ball.

27:13Ant McPartlin:Oh, there's a video! There's a video! Look, Mary!

27:19Ant McPartlin:There's Jeff!

27:24Ant McPartlin:There's Jeff! He's running his fingers across the line and then you wash your hands! It's working! It worked, Jeff! Jeff! You look like a snooker umpire who's just come off to clean his mind. So he said you hold each blind strip with the gloved hands, then wash your hands as normal. Oh, Jeff.

27:47Declan Donnelly:This is genius, Jeff. I don't know if it's an invention, though. Maybe Jeff could just hire himself out to go around to people's houses and do this. He'd make a fortune. The amount of people who's got British shumblings in the UK. Yeah. Go on, Jeff.

28:03Ant McPartlin:Oh, that is brilliant.

28:04Declan Donnelly:Do they have to be Edwardian gloves? Can you go like Victorian? does it have to be that era?

28:11Ant McPartlin:It has to be Edwardian. It does, okay. Maybe it's USB, yeah.

28:13Declan Donnelly:They're the ones that pick up the dust bat.

28:16Ant McPartlin:Yeah, yeah. This is the kind of stuff you have to copyright to make sure nobody nicks your idea.

28:20Declan Donnelly:Do you know, you need to put like a logo on there. It needs to be a bit longer. I think with a little bit of work this could work, you know. I think you should... Because you've seen the Scrub Daddy sponges. Yes, with the little face in. With the little face. I mean, those sponges have been around for years. You should put a little face in them. and they saw millions around the world. So we just need to put a little smiley face on the back or something, or a G for Jeff, Jeff Gloves.

28:43Ant McPartlin:No, we need to get your little mate. Who's my little mate? You. No. My little mate, you idiot. Dr. Grill.

28:52Declan Donnelly:We need to get Dr.

28:53Ant McPartlin:Grill.

28:53Declan Donnelly:Yeah, get Dr. Grill there. We need to get him with some white gloves on. Dr. Gloves. Yeah. Right, I'm pitching it. I'm pitching it, guys. Dr. Gloves. That's the name, the name again is Dr. Gloves.

29:06Ant McPartlin:Oh, Jeff, that is priceless. Could be another winner here. We'll cut you in, Jeff.

29:13Declan Donnelly:I mean, it's now a good time to point out. I don't even know if Peter Jones is coming out to play golf this year. Fine, that's fine. Don't worry. Okay. We'll work that out.

29:22Ant McPartlin:We'll work out that detail later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just keep getting the hacks. Yeah. Any more hacks, send them to me. Can you beat Jeff's blind gloves? Let us know. Blind gloves.

29:34Declan Donnelly:Blind gloves. No, because that sounds like they're gloves for blind people

29:39Ant McPartlin:Well, I was thinking of your little mate They don't help you see I was thinking of your little mate in white gloves and like your sunglasses there that make you look like blind PJ Them ones That's it and then white gloves

29:51Declan Donnelly:Well, I'll just do it Why do I have to get my mate in? Just do me The little fella is a copy of me anyway

29:57Ant McPartlin:That's true So turn to your right No, you're on the right To my left to me to your left, that's the one. And now look at me and then put your arms up, put your hands up. Like that, yeah. Something like that. Should they be like this? Like you're cleaning? Oh yeah, like that. Yeah, they could be, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then some Phoenician blinds behind you like that. And there's a stethoscope? Yeah. Possibly, yes. And then a gyrash

30:26Declan Donnelly:in the background?

30:29Ant McPartlin:And an ice cream.

30:30Declan Donnelly:Jeff, amazing. We love that. We should do a collage of all of the jobs that guy does.

30:36Ant McPartlin:Yeah.

30:37Declan Donnelly:He advertises more things than David Beckham did during this World Cup. And that was a lot. Yeah, that was a lot. Jeff, that is very, very good. I'm going to give you a seven out of eight bananas.

30:49Ant McPartlin:Oh, Jeff!

30:50Declan Donnelly:You've got a seven banana rating.

30:52Ant McPartlin:Unbelievable, Jeff!

30:53Declan Donnelly:See if you can beat that. We're going to pitch it to Peter Jones when we see him. If you've got any more hacks out there, get them in to hanging out at bellabox.com. Very good.

31:11Declan Donnelly:Did you watch the World Cup final?

31:14Ant McPartlin:I did watch the World Cup final. I can't work out if I was happy for Spain to win or if I was happier to see Argentina lose.

31:22Declan Donnelly:Probably the latter. I think it was the latter. We're all very happy to see Argentina. Because it wasn't a great game. It wasn't a great game. It was boring. But Spain have been quite boring all the way through. Yeah, they bored France out of the city. They've conceded one goal in the whole tournament. Yeah, but they're just boring to watch. It's not like watching England, where your heart's in your mouth and the hope kills you in the end because, you know, we get unraveled.

31:46Ant McPartlin:But do you think that's how Spanish people feel

31:47Declan Donnelly:watching Spain? Oh God, no. They don't care. If we bored our way as England fans, if England bored their way to a World Cup win. Yeah, you're probably right. We wouldn't care less today. So I'm sure Spanish fans, or just dancing in the streets. I didn't watch it. I didn't watch the fight. So the last, I came in for the last bit of it, but I thought, do you know what? I'm done. As soon as England got knocked out by Argentina, I was just done. I thought I'm not, I watched the game on Saturday night. The bronze medal game. The bronze medal, six-four game, the high, free-flowing football, high-scoring game.

32:25Declan Donnelly:Nobody saw coming. So I was thrilled that they all got a medal, you know? but I took myself off for a Thai massage instead of watching you've changed I always liked a Thai massage

32:41Ant McPartlin:so you had a Thai massage during the World Cup final yep incredible incredible

32:48Declan Donnelly:but I knew it wouldn't be busy and I was right we had a couple's one me and the wife she was in one room I was in the other room there's a sliding door which the slide opens so you can chat to each other or you can just hear each other go

33:03Ant McPartlin:but it was really good. Don't you do enough chatting at home? Do you not want to just go and have a massage and chill out and just block the noise out?

33:10Declan Donnelly:No, we like chatting the one and the other. In between kissing? It's a Thai massage. In between kissing, you like chatting? Yeah, we kissed at home. We chatted at Thai massage parlour. Oh, right. No, but it was really good. It was two really good masseuses and I didn't embarrass myself like I did this time last summer. Do you remember the story? Oh, I kind of do. So I was tipped off that there was a really good Thai massage parlor near where Ovilazor. Parlor's always a good word, isn't it? Parlor. Parlor is a very good, like tattoo parlor, massage parlor. There's no other parlors. That's it. Ice cream?

33:49Declan Donnelly:Ice cream parlor. Okay, there is this. There's a third parlor. Yeah, okay. And taming parlor. So I got tipped off. There was a very good Thai massage parlor. So I thought I'm going to go. But a friend of ours said, be careful when you go there. They come in really quickly. I thought, what's he doing? They come in really quickly. Well, I found out. So I go in and I'm getting changed. The middle door slides open. My wife said this one. I'm in this one. She quickly whips the dress off and pops the paper knickers on, jumps on the bed. so the paper knickers my paper knickers are in the middle of the bed so i've taken the clothes off i struggle to kind of get all the buttons done on my shirt which is just me and i'm like oh that takes a little bit longer so i get annoyed and just pull it over the top of my head like a toddler would do hang it up take my strides off take me underpants off and as i lean over the bed so i'm leaning over the bed like this to get the paper knickers i inadvertently flick the paper knickers off the bed to the other side of the bed and I'm naked and everything's hanging out.

35:00Declan Donnelly:So I'm like, oh! And my wife goes, hurry up! All right, okay! So I go round the side of the bed, get the knickers, then I'm fiddling to get the paper knickers out of the little plastic bag that they're in and I'm clunking it out with me with these teeth. I clunking it out. I'm biting it like this. I open it up. They land on the ground. I'm like, this is taking too long. This is taking too long. I know, I know it's taking too long. this is longer than ever by the time I'm falling and work out which way your penis is meant to be and your bum is meant to be because there's a certain way surely anyway I do this I stand like this to pop my leg in we let up like that as I'm doing that the door opens and she comes in and it's everywhere it's just like that she can see everything she can see absolutely everything and she knows and I know that she's come a little bit early.

35:55Declan Donnelly:I took too long and we're just staring at each other. For a bit too long. I went, not yet. She goes, okay. And shuts the door and my wife's like, what the hell are you playing at? So yeah. So I went back last night. Was she still there? She still there? She was still there. Yeah. We couldn't look at each other in the eye. Was it the elephant in the room?

36:17Ant McPartlin:It was the elephant.

36:18Declan Donnelly:The elephant trunk in the room. The elephant trunk in the room. We couldn't, we kind of like higher hierarchy. Same as last time. Yeah, if you don't mind. But she's very good. So yeah, that's how I, then I came back to watch Extra Time and Spain went.

36:36Ant McPartlin:Did you get back in time for the halftime show? No.

36:39Declan Donnelly:Was it good? You lucky thing. Was it bad? Oh, it was dreadful. I mean, I've seen a lot of pictures online of Madonna and Ronaldo and Ronaldinho, which just looked like the weirdest corporeal karaoke I've ever seen.

36:53Ant McPartlin:Fiona, did you say you liked it? I liked Justin Bieber's bit. Did you? Welcome, hallelujah. Oh, I thought it was, and I'm a big Bieber fan. I'm a Belieber. But I thought it just brought the mood down a little bit. As if the football match wasn't bad enough. It made us think, oh, there's another half of this. I did think what the players must be thinking when the Muppets come out and they're just trying to keep their head in the game. What Muppets? The Muppets were in it. Miss Piggy Kerma,

37:19Declan Donnelly:all that crew. Oh, for God, that's not football. Well, we don't need all of that. We'll call a player there.

37:25Ant McPartlin:I didn't see him.

37:26Declan Donnelly:They were right at the end, but...

37:28Ant McPartlin:It was like a really bad assembly. It was. Lots of kids.

37:34Declan Donnelly:Do you think I need to start my beef with Chris Martin now? For real?

37:37Ant McPartlin:You could do.

37:38Declan Donnelly:Yeah. Well, if you should, really, because I didn't see it. So now you've got beef with Chris Martin.

37:43Ant McPartlin:To be fair, Chris Martin was the least bad thing about the whole thing. So you've got beef with Kermit the Frog? No, I love Kermit the Frog. Have you got beef with Madonna? a little bit okay and Ronaldinho Dex got beef with Madonna and Ronaldinho and R9 and Ronaldinho and R9 and go most of the others who all mimed there with it Shakira mimed mimed there was a lot of miming going on what yeah BTS were there they were alright because at least they sang live and they were actually really good but they were really slick BTS and you know better than to say anything bad about them

38:20Declan Donnelly:on a podcast

38:21Ant McPartlin:because the comments because the comments section would explode well I actually thought they were the best thing about it Deckharts BTS you know what you're doing yeah hashtag

38:31Declan Donnelly:yeah exactly what are they called what are their fan group called

38:35Ant McPartlin:because Taylor Swift

38:37Declan Donnelly:or the Swifties

38:37Ant McPartlin:they're like an army I think BTS army BTS army BTS army so you're one of the army now well done Wayne Rooney put it best I think when he said I like all those artists but I thought that was crap and I think that was that was a really good sum up of of the whole thing we just don't need it man we don't need it you don't need that it's pointless I half expected there to be another half time show in the half time of extra time

39:07Declan Donnelly:because that's just what they do they just maximise everything like the hydration breaks they just maximise money and sponsorship I thought they might get Bieber out again is it me or is there more shots and do you see the logo of FIFA more than you've ever seen it before? Yeah, probably. Ever? Yeah. Like when they walked out at the start I saw highlights this morning and they all had massive FIFA flags and they surrounded

39:34Ant McPartlin:the centre circle. Did you see Trump not getting off the stage when Spain lifted the trophy? No. Did he do it again? He stood at the front at the club world cup. Brilliant. Did exactly the same. What did he do? He just stood at the front while Spain lifted the World Cup. Did he put a medal around his neck? I don't know if he did that. Even Infantino went over to say to him, now we get out of the way because we've handed it over. Now we get out of the way. And he just looked at him. And Infantino just backed off and Trump just stood there going, nope, I'm just staying here. So I went all the pictures and go down in history.

40:09Ant McPartlin:It's the Trumpiest thing to do. It is, don't it? Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't care. Beyond Spain, there are obviously other winners in this World Cup in our sweepstake. Of course. Yes, the sweepstake. So it was between, the final was between Caroline and her tap shoes and Mike and his GCSE textbook. Ooh, what a final that is. What a final. Yeah, much better final than the real one. Go on. The winner. The winner. Who will receive a personalised we're on the ball voice note is? Is that what we said?

40:44Declan Donnelly:We're on the ball. Yeah. So do we have to change the lyrics? Like, Mike's on the ball, Carolyn's on the ball.

40:53Ant McPartlin:Yeah, I guess. No, we don't have to. We don't have to. You've got creative control. The winner is Mike and his GCSE textbook.

41:04Declan Donnelly:Well done, Mike. You're on Mike's on the ball. Mike's on the ball. Well done, Mike.

41:10Ant McPartlin:It feels just considering the GCSE textbook never arrived.

41:15Declan Donnelly:Yes, it does feel just. You're right. 30 years later or whatever it is we've righted her wrong

41:20Ant McPartlin:tell you what though that's another competition he's won he's a lucky guy Mike isn't he yeah he's sticked the lottery on this week Mike it's true well done Mike it could be you

41:29Declan Donnelly:just got a text hold on I've got a text I've got a text

41:33Ant McPartlin:I've got my glasses on

41:35Declan Donnelly:I'm going to get some more glasses go on Dizney Barlow hi Ant Meg here I know you've got your podcast with Stig but we also have a Mitre Office one as well Oh, yes, we do. Unfortunately, your spending ban doesn't extend to the office sweepstakes. The win has been announced and you're officially the last outstanding payment. You haven't paid me£2. I haven't paid me£2. Quite the title. And... Alright, Meg. Rude. You can either pay up or we'll assume you voluntarily signed up for the mystery forfeit. Choose wisely. Do you know what? Because if you sock it on, I'll have the mystery forfeit then. Meg.

42:17Ant McPartlin:Oh, she's got to think of a forfeit now. Yeah, I know. That's it.

42:20Declan Donnelly:Go on, then. Go on, Meg. Do your worst. All right. We'll feed that back. We'll let her know. Okay. Also, how long has Meg got left on her contract?

42:30Ant McPartlin:Not long.

42:34Ant McPartlin:That's me. Okay. I'm going to talk about golf for a bit. As I've said, I cannot chip. So if there's anybody out there that can help me chip, it would be much appreciated. I can help me. What do you mean you can help me?

42:46Declan Donnelly:I can help you chip.

42:47Ant McPartlin:How can? How do you do that?

42:50Declan Donnelly:I'm a good chiller.

42:51Ant McPartlin:Oh. Well, as I've said, I tried to chip yesterday. Yeah. And I'm hitting somebody on the head. Yeah. So what is the secret?

42:59Declan Donnelly:Well, I saw this guy on Instagram. Well, you know Dean Wingo, our friend, right? Yes. Who's a golf pro. Oh, we've gone for a few seconds. Oh, okay. So, well, should I just show you this out on the golf course, when we're together? Yes. But the secret is you've got to make sure that you completely follow through to the level of that and as if you're going to put the golf club into a holster. Oh, okay. You've got to go around your body into the holster. Quiet, please. Around your body into the holster. And you've always got to finish your trip by that and then you'll get under the ball. Right. I'll try that.

43:32Declan Donnelly:That's what they said. Okay.

43:34Ant McPartlin:Anybody else with any other tips, get them into us. Hanging out at bellabox.com.

43:38Declan Donnelly:Teach me how to play golf. I think a minute is too short. either that or we needed this spin-off golf podcast guys we just need to do a golf podcast

43:45Ant McPartlin:you just need to be more efficient with it do you want to play the no the game you're 1-1 oh yeah we should have the decider of no the game the score's 1-1 the score's R1-1 this is the decider the decider are you ready?

43:58Declan Donnelly:it's more exciting than the World Cup yes I'm ready

43:59Ant McPartlin:so the answer to this question is either going to be there is a the or there is no the okay number one line of duty no the No the. No the. Correct. Backstreet Boys. No the. No the. No the. House of the Dragon.

44:21Declan Donnelly:The. The House of the Dragon. No the.

44:26Ant McPartlin:No the. Social Network. No the. Oh, yes, the. Yes, the. No, the. The. The. All right. Yes. Last one laughing. Hold on, hold on.

44:42Declan Donnelly:I got that right, right? I got that right. You both got that right. What did you say? No, the. See, it still sounds like you're getting it wrong.

44:50Ant McPartlin:Last one laughing.

44:51Declan Donnelly:No the. No the.

44:53Ant McPartlin:No the. Celebrity traitors.

44:56Declan Donnelly:Ooh. No the. The.

45:01Ant McPartlin:The. Oh. Grateful Dead. The. No the. No the. Wolf of Wall Street The The The Rolling Stones The The Correct Final one To draw Or for Deck to take the win Red Hot Chili Peppers Ooh

45:26Declan Donnelly:That's a good one

45:27Ant McPartlin:This is a doozy The The No the You both said that You're both wrong So Deck Has won Yeah Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, what's that? What is that rather annoying noise? Is that the holiday tombola? The question tombola? It's the holiday tombola.

45:53Declan Donnelly:The holiday tombola has got a lot closer to the microphone. Just FYI. I thought it was a thunderstorm. My ears are now bleeding. He can't adhere, man. Is that better? That's better. That's better. That's more tombola-esque and less like thunder. Roll up, roll up. Do you have a question? Yeah, let's have a question. They've all gone mad. They've all gone mad. Come on.

46:17Ant McPartlin:What's that number? 14. 14. All right. 14. Do you have an alter ego when you're on holiday? Are you more relaxed? More wild? More confident? Quieter? Do you wear a certain type of outfit when you're on holiday that you wouldn't at home? Holiday alter ego. I can't say I do.

46:40Declan Donnelly:Probably. Yeah. I mean, I wear, like, a lot. Obviously, I wear a lot more shorts and T-shirts. But I will, when I go shopping, whenever I'm abroad, I always buy stuff that I would never buy in the UK. Like, I went to the local Zara here and bought a pair of unisex trousers, right? Because I think I've been... What? Yeah. Well, yeah, they're nice. They're like a really wide leg stripe, black and white stripe, and they kind of balloon down. I might try and wear them on the pod next week. I'd never wear them in the UK, but I'm definitely going to wear them on hold it. And they're a unisex pant, you say?

47:21Yeah.

47:22Declan Donnelly:I said, do you have these in a medium? I obviously said this. Do you have these in a medium? I'll be glad. So I did that at the end. And she went into the female section to get them and came back. but I was like but they were in the men's side because you know like you've got the men's and the women's and the Zara you can kind of walk between the two so she was confused I was confused but hey they're a great holder trouser so

47:47Ant McPartlin:yeah your glasses

47:50Declan Donnelly:yeah I shouldn't wear everything at the same time should I I shouldn't wear these and the trousers you've got very Harry Styles I just need a shirt to match and I'll wear the whole outfit for you on next week's pod stick on some ballet pumps

48:03Ant McPartlin:have you guys have you guys ever used secret names when you check into hotels like yes like yes oh have you yeah we used to do a lot yeah we did yeah can you tell us any or I used Peter Parker for a while yeah obviously Spidey

48:20Declan Donnelly:I used Logan Mount Stewart who was the title character in one of William Boyd's books and the human heart good one eh

48:30Ant McPartlin:that was very good yeah well there was a little while that we used to check in as I was Peter Parker and you were Bruce Wayne. Yeah. Do you not think that's more conspicuous than Ant and Dec? Yeah, probably. Adjuring more attention to yourself. No, but do you know why it is? It's because if you check in under your own names that if people ring the hotel and say, can you put me through to such and such's room? And if you're there under your real name, they'll just put them through. So that's why you go in under pseudonyms. So people don't know to get connected through to your room. that's a really useful piece of information it's like a knotting hand alright another one yeah go on I like these what have we got 25 25 what has been your favourite smell on this trip oh I know mine already go on then the pine trees on the golf course just smells so especially first thing in the morning when it's dewy and fresh and you get the smell of the pine trees.

49:35Ant McPartlin:That's my favourite. That and pizza.

49:40Declan Donnelly:There is a spray that you can buy in the shops here and in Spain and you can use it for baby skin and it smells really fresh and it smells like being a whole day. It's quite lemony but you have a little spritz in Wilder's Hair as he's combing his hair at night before he gets into bed. And it's a really lovely, it reminds me of holidays because this is the only, I can never get it in the UK. You either get it here or in Spain. And it's called Nanuko and they do like baby products. So that is the nicest smell.

50:17Ant McPartlin:Last one. Oh.

50:23Ant McPartlin:I keep dropping them on myself. 52. 52. 52. 52. What's your favourite part of the day on holiday?

50:38Declan Donnelly:Morning or after. I tell you what I love. I love, I don't love the midday sun at all because it's just quite big and hot. And that's wherever you are in the country, whatever country you're in, sorry. I love mornings and late afternoon, early evening when there's long shadows. Like I love light. I love seeing light in the trees. I love seeing the sun going down. I love the sunset, the sunrise, sunset. So either end of the day, they're all my favourite points of day, I think.

51:11Ant McPartlin:Yeah, me too. I love sunset. That's my favourite. Long shadows. You've got a lovely day in the pool or playing with the kids and stuff. And then it's either getting ready to go out for a bit of dinner or lighting the barbecue and you're going to have something at home. Love that. Yeah.

51:28Declan Donnelly:Little Fanta Lemon on the balcony. Oh, yeah. You're watching the shadows grow longer. Yeah, some leis. Bag of leis. Lovely.

51:36Ant McPartlin:Bag of local crisps. Yeah. That seems like a lovely place to leave it with some long shadows and a Fanta Lemon. Ah, the end of the day. The end of the pod. Let's leave it there. Let's leave the pod there. Thank you for tuning in once again. Are you happy to do another pod next week? Me?

51:55Declan Donnelly:Yeah.

51:55Ant McPartlin:If you try and stop me, I'm loving it.

51:57Declan Donnelly:Yeah, should we do one?

51:58Ant McPartlin:Yeah, and especially now we're hearing from everybody out there on their holidays. I'm really enjoying hearing from you. So please do keep getting in touch with us wherever you are in the world, hanging out at bellabox.com. We love hearing from you. Remember to give us a follow and a subscribe or whatever, all those things wherever you get in your podcast. That really makes a difference. We'll be back on Monday, won't we?

52:21Declan Donnelly:Yes, we'll be back on Monday with a bonus episode where we answer your questions and read out your postcards.

52:27Ant McPartlin:Ah, postcards.

52:28Declan Donnelly:But yeah, get in contact with us. We need golfing tips. How can deck chip? And what's the best driver for me? But until next week, respect, guys.

52:40Ant McPartlin:Respect, guys. See you next week. Happy holidays.

52:43Declan Donnelly:I'm off to see if the guy you hit with a golf club is still alive. Wish me luck. Bye. Tell him sorry again.