Ant's Shocked By Gary Oldman & Dec’s A Great Uncle!

8:46Ant McPartlin:I have to go and look at me orders. She's bought one of those books, you know, Little People, Big Dreams. Those books, the David Attenborough story. Ah, right. Because for his 100th birthday and Isla did David Attenborough at school. So she's bought... So it was the book. It was the book. Oh, that's a shame, isn't it? It was a shame.

9:02Declan Donnelly:I thought he was coming around. We met David Attenborough briefly once at the BAFTAs. and when you win a BAFTA at the end of the ceremony which is a very long ceremony they ask all of the winners to hang around in the auditorium get on stage to have a winner's picture all whole lovely BAFTAs quite a nice thing to do it is a lovely thing to do we got split over on stage you started talking to somebody from the night manager I remember I hadn't seen it so I thought I've got nothing to offer this conversation I can't even pretend because you were talking about storylines and plot lines and all of this kind of stuff so I just kind of turned and I'm so pleased I did because I turned into David Attenborough.

9:40Declan Donnelly:You turned into him. Yeah. He turned around and went, here we are. Here we are, on stage at the Baptist. I turned into David Attenborough and it shocked us that he was so close. And I went, and the only thing I could think to say was congratulations. I said, congratulations, David. I really deserve a win. I said, I love the series. And he went, congratulations to you and or deck. so he either loves love actually and is quoting Bill Nye in the movie or he genuinely doesn't have a clue which one's which I'd say the latter I think the latter yeah he's probably the only person he can get away with oh he got away with it alright I laughed heartily like I've never laughed before how good are you good job it wasn't me

10:24Ant McPartlin:I would have smashed his face in heart and bra not have you guys seen that Gary Oldman's been talking about eating bananas I did see this Gary Oldman is in a new play right and he has to eat bananas in the play does he? he eats like two bananas every show that's nothing I have that for breakfast but imagine those shows where he does a matinee and an evening show that's four bananas a day yeah six or seven days a week piece of piss

10:52Declan Donnelly:that's easy man that's a lot of bananas that's not a lot of bananas every day yes

10:57Ant McPartlin:you don't eat bananas every day

10:58Declan Donnelly:I do do you? every day what have you been saying about eating the bananas Does he not like bananas? Not into them. Gary Oldman's not into them? Oh, I love Gary Oldman.

11:07Ant McPartlin:I used to love Gary Oldman. He's not a big fan, is he? He's not a massive fan of bananas. Might be a newbie for me, that. Gary Oldman. That's a good one.

11:14Declan Donnelly:What's your problem, Gary Oldman, with bananas? Huh? Now get me free tickets to your show and I'll come down and watch it and then I'll come and find you backstage and we'll have it out. Is that good? Is that good for you? It's clickbait, isn't it? It's good. Ragebait. Any other rumours you could start for clickbait? Dick is expecting his third child. In fact, I've heard it's twins It's twins, right? Just say yes Yes Are you expecting twins? Yes Are you expecting twins? Yes Yes Use that Talking of bananas though I had a lovely banana moment Oh, banana moment Banana moment I have lots of banana moments throughout the week Because I love them I play golf on Monday Typically, sorry

11:55Ant McPartlin:Typically I'm talking Hold on

12:00Declan Donnelly:Get me quiet, please sign up. Okay, okay. So I played golf. See, you can't actually speak when I've got this off. I played golf on Monday and I always put some bananas in my golf bag. Hold on. I'm putting my quiet, please sign down. Don't I?

12:14Ant McPartlin:Yes, you do. Let's back up.

12:17Declan Donnelly:Always put them in your golf bag because I know that I'll get peckish throughout the round and I always like one or two bananas, but these were quite some more. So I have three bananas in my golf bag. so I was eating the first banana and I thought I'm going to just plow straight onto the second one because the quiet police is still up and that goes for you're laughing as well I'm going to plow straight onto the second banana because I'm still hungry as I was peeling the second banana a fox wandered by and was looking like I'll put this down now now you've got me attention now you've got me attention looking at me like I'm hungry too so I thought I know I'll share half of the second banana with the fox.

12:59Declan Donnelly:And surprisingly, he took it. Look, I took a video of it. There you go. He's wary. He's wary. He doesn't know what to make of me. Understandably so. But then I chuck him a big old chunk of banana. He goes over. He has a little sniff. He's not sure. Takes it in his mouth and he runs off. Happy as Larry. And then what I didn't get the film was the third banana came out and he was back up my heels like a dog. You know when you give him your dog a treat? and then they run away he didn't come back he came back I'd give him the whole thing who knew that that fox is like bananas cows eat bananas now foxes eat bananas everybody loves a banana apart from Gary Oldman forget Gary

13:36Ant McPartlin:bang out of order had a little flick through the comments this week yes you did I like to have a keen eye on what people are talking about a lot of people are saying where on earth is Ant's word of the day gone that's a very good question

13:49Declan Donnelly:and I should answer it with one a one word reply a really good word reply if I still had word of the day. But I don't. It didn't last? How long did it last? No, well, it lasted until I got bored. So it was a couple of weeks after.

14:05Ant McPartlin:That was your New Year's resolution? Yeah. Gone out the window? Well, yeah, it lasted until what?

14:10Declan Donnelly:May? Did you? April, May? March? No. February? Yeah. Yeah, February. Maybe end of Jan? Maybe, yeah. Yeah. No, I was getting the... But I was getting a lot of repeated words. So I'd already had the words. So then in the end, I silenced the notification and moved on with my life. Oh, that's sad. Is it? I can pick it back up for you if you want. Let us know in the comments. Are you that bothered?

14:38Ant McPartlin:Should we run a poll? Are you that bothered? Are you bothered about answer of the day? I'm not. I'm not that bothered. So please don't be bothered. I don't really want to have to go through it again. Have you lost interest in expanding your vocabulary? Yes. You've got enough words. Yeah, I've got enough words. I've got enough friends.

14:56Declan Donnelly:I've got enough words. Got enough friends. Got enough words. I definitely wouldn't play words with friends.

15:01Ant McPartlin:I've got enough-a-ball. This next segment is an advert for Santander, who understand that saving for your first home can feel almost impossible, and the road to owning can be a bumpy one. And it's an agony ant-and-air. Oh, good, good. I do like these. This time it is first-time buyers edition. Okay. I've got some dilemmas sent to us Hit me I've got one here from Stephen Hi Stephen Dear Agni Antander I've just bought my first home with my partner And I'm a little bit worried about bills Because it's quite a drafty house Now we're arriving in the summer months I thought fantastic We could turn the heating off However Oh what My partner is cold-blooded And she wants it kept on In the winter I negotiated hard To find the balance of her being warm at home But not breaking the bank So when we arrived in spring And the sun came out I thought wonderful We'll turn that off and she'll be fine.

15:53Ant McPartlin:Alas, that is not the case. Any ideas on how to find a compromise? Buy her some jumpers. That's all you can do. You can't be leaving the heat on during the summer.

16:03Declan Donnelly:That is, that's a waste of money.

16:04Ant McPartlin:Don't you have a similar problem to this at home?

16:07Declan Donnelly:Yeah, my wife gets very cold. And you're quite the sweater. I am quite the sweater. I'm one of life's sweaters. I get very hot. So how do you get around it? She wears more clothing. I wear less. I'll never... That's it. but at home I wear shorts t-shirt all the time yeah I try to wear some jogger buttons in the new house I was sweating by the time I got to the bottom of the stairs I had to take them off really I put some shorts on I was all grand naked good good

16:32Ant McPartlin:and also finding an ambient temperature that you're both happy with

16:35Declan Donnelly:yeah but we're never both happy with it let's face it I'll always sit near the window or you know sleep near the door all that kind of the small little whims you're gonna have

16:44Ant McPartlin:but the key is jumpers jumpers One here, last one. This is from Meg. Dear Agony and Dare, I've always dreamt of owning my own place and this year I really wanted it to be the year. I'm in a stable job and I've been saving for a while, but when I started looking at the realities of buying, the whole thing left me completely overwhelmed. Finding the place, putting the offering, understanding the solicitors, and then the deposit. I didn't realise how much money people use as their deposit. I feel like to have enough for a deposit, I'll be saving for another 10 years. All this goes to say, something I was so excited for now, just feels very scary and quite impossible.

17:20Ant McPartlin:Any words of advice that you can give, Meg? Well, firstly, it's not impossible

17:26Declan Donnelly:because Santander are doing mortgage deposits as low as£10 ,000. Yes. So you can just save a little bit, do small little steps, just save a little bit. And then before you know it, that£10 ,000 as a deposit is very achievable.

17:42Ant McPartlin:Yeah, make sure you have a look into it because some deposits are a lot lower than you think. Santander being one. Yeah. And things don't have to be perfect either. You know, tiny steps. Yeah. Sometimes it feels insurmountable. Sometimes you feel like you're climbing a mountain, but you've got to start somewhere. Just start.

17:57Declan Donnelly:Just start. Yeah, exactly. Little steps will get you there.

18:00Ant McPartlin:And a good way to start, I always think, is to sit down and write a list. Otherwise, you sit there and go, oh yeah, I've forgotten to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just to have it all down on a list, then you can tick things off. Yeah. That's quite satisfying. Yeah, I bet it is. To be able to tick things off a list. Write yourself a list. Give yourself some deadlines or a timeframe. Yeah, it's a good idea. And don't be too hard on yourself if you don't take as many things off your list. It's all work in progress. Exactly. But the main thing is to - Progress, not perfection. Start, yes. Progress, not perfection, and make a start on it.

18:30Ant McPartlin:And not only that, we also know that Santander have a first-time buyer hub to help with every step, as well as first-time buyer mortgages.

18:39Declan Donnelly:Yes. Did you know that they offer deposits starting from£10 ,000, even on larger loans?

18:44Ant McPartlin:I did know that because we recorded an advert that said exactly that. And that could make a huge difference, though, for so many people wanting to buy their first home. Visit Santander.co.uk for more details. Very good. That's it for Agony Ant and Dare this week. Santander, it starts here.

19:01Declan Donnelly:Starts here. Hey, glas, give us your T's and C's. You may lose your home if you don't keep up your mortgage payments. Mortgage subject to status and lending policy. £500 ,000 max loan on houses with a 10k deposit. Minimum 5 % deposit is required for flats, new builds and properties in Northern Ireland. Bit stumbly. We'll do that in the edit. Bit stumbly, yeah, yeah. We'll smooth out in the edit. Don't worry. I started reading a new book this week called Rick. You know Rick Rubin, the music producer? Yes. He's written a book about the creative process and his philosophy, it's really good actually, his philosophy is we should all create things.

19:40Declan Donnelly:And that doesn't mean we all have to create music because he's a music producer and that we're never going to all be brilliant at it. But whether it's filming something, making music, modeling, sketches, drawing, painting, whatever it is, it's the art of the creation. So just creating itself is art enough. And now the more we do it, the more we will be in touch with one another and how we'll open ourselves up to better things happening to us. And you don't do it for any kind of outer joy. You do it for personal joy. So when you make it in the first instance, you don't think about who's going to look at it in the future or if you're going to get paid for it or whatever.

20:22Declan Donnelly:So I suppose it got me thinking about the podcast. Do you know what I mean? Like we make it in the hope that people listen to it, but even if they don't listen to it or watch it, we still have fun doing it. Oh, yeah. So it's all about just creating the thing. Yeah. Just get going. It's good, isn't it? Yeah, it is.

20:38Ant McPartlin:And also I think if you are creative, if you do create something, then maybe you see the beauty in other people's creations as well because you understand the process.

20:49Declan Donnelly:That's his point, yeah. And we should all do more of it. That's a very nice idea. Has it inspired you to take up another creative hobby? A bit of sewing? Don't have time. Stone carving? I did buy one of those kind of electric engraver things to write your name on stones. I've never used it. So this is part of the reason why I'm on a spending ban is because, which I still haven't spent anything, by the way, this is because I bowl crap like that all the time. I just get sucked into advertisements. What was the vision with that? When you bought that, were you like, oh, I'm going to...

21:24Ant McPartlin:I want to write my name on a stone. Is that what it was? Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what it was.

21:28Declan Donnelly:Yeah. And then in the video, they were drawing their dogs and then they would do their dogs on stones. I thought that would be good. How do they put the stones? Wherever you want. Do your stone. Keep it indoors, outdoors. I did have a handheld sewing machine that I bought again, which, again, I thought, instead of taking me trousers and getting taken up to the tailor or whatever, I can just do it myself. But it was too complicated. When I was reading the instructions, it was far too complicated. No, it's just, it's only like the size of your hand, like this, and you hold it and you press the little trigger and it goes, it'd be great for you because you're always taking up trousers.

22:00Declan Donnelly:What? You are, aren't you? You're not doing it yourself, but you're always getting taken up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. So that's what I thought. all this time spent with trousers when we could just take them up ourselves.

22:12Ant McPartlin:I've got no interest in doing that. Have you not? Nah. Nah. Nah.

22:17Declan Donnelly:Are you not interested in any other hobbies? Not really. Really?

22:21Ant McPartlin:Not really. I've got golf. Yeah. I haven't even got enough time to do that.

22:25Declan Donnelly:No? What about a quick hobby? What's the quickest hobby you can do? Noughts and crosses. Is that a hobby? Noughts and crosses? You both do a bit of painting now and then. No, we don't paint. No, we don't. Yeah, for the internet. Well, I'm just supposed to paint it if you're doing it just for the art of being creative. No, I do it for likes and clicks. That's what Rick Rubin says. Likes and clicks and sponsorship money.

22:52Ant McPartlin:No, my painting's just for likes and clicks of other celebrities. I do like it. I enjoy doing Portrait. I like it. I know, you're good at it. I tend to drive Portrait more than I does. What do you mean drive it? Well, I kind of go, when are we doing another celebrity Portrait? Yeah, I don't care. Why would I want to do it? Yeah, I don't want to do it. I'm sh** at it. I don't want to do that.

23:11Declan Donnelly:Do you know who we should do? I mean, this would be good, and it would be full circle on this conversation right now. David Attenborough. David Attenborough. Let's paint him. I really feel I could offend him, though.

23:22Ant McPartlin:Well, he doesn't know which one's rich. He doesn't care.

23:24Declan Donnelly:Yeah, it's a good point, actually. He doesn't care, does he? No. He doesn't care. But is he going to rate them? That's the thing. Apparently, to get in touch with David Attenborough, you have to fax him. Fax him? Do you? Right, let's do it.

23:35Ant McPartlin:Who's got a fax machine? I used to have a fax machine. Did you? Hmm. I think I've got rid of... It might be in the lock-up, actually. Oh, I thought it was a joke. No. I used to have a fax machine. But I'm not one now. Yeah. No.

23:48Declan Donnelly:What's this? Ow!

23:52Declan Donnelly:Oh, my God!

23:54Ant McPartlin:If you're just listening, an airplane, paper airplane, has just flown in and hit Ant right on the bonce. Right on the bonce. Big target. Hi.

24:01Declan Donnelly:Hi. With Ant saying he likes TV shows about Russian spies, etc. Has he watched The Americans? An eight banana rating, no doubt, says Leighton Kelly. I haven't watched The Americans. No, I haven't. It's quite an old one, The Americans, isn't it? It's a few years old now. But Leighton is saying eight bananas. So maybe I should add that to the list because I do like a spy drama. I've got more here. I think we're all talking about banana ratings. So should I read on? Yeah, go on. Hi, Ant-Dec. Hi. Hi. Loving the podcast. I would like to recommend a BBC One drama, on Mint. The storyline is on the head of a crime gang in Glasgow and his family.

24:37Declan Donnelly:Each episode is only 30 minutes long so Dex's attention span should cope with it. I would like your opinion as I watched the entire series in one sitting and loved it. But I don't know anyone else who has watched it and now I'm thinking my taste is set at such a low bar I should stop recommending it. I don't know. I need somebody else. She needs someone to bounce off.

24:57Ant McPartlin:Yeah, okay.

24:58Declan Donnelly:Please check it out and let me know your views. Respect guys, Marissa. Okay? Okay, Marissa. We'll have a look. We'll have a look at that. I've never heard of that. Never heard of mint. I mean, I've heard of mint. Like, you know, the... What's it called? Herb. The plant. Finally. Hello, Ant and Dec. Hello. You must watch the new film release called The Sheep Detective.

25:19Ant McPartlin:Oh, yes.

25:20Declan Donnelly:It's with Hugh Jackman and Emma Thompson. It's a really good family film. I give it seven bananas. Respect, guys. From Amanda in Derby. Wow. From Golden Sin. You must watch this.

25:30Ant McPartlin:It's got seven bananas.

25:31Declan Donnelly:Yeah, I know.

25:31Ant McPartlin:Why not aid? Is she going to give aid?

25:33Declan Donnelly:What is she waiting for? What did it lack?

25:35Ant McPartlin:I saw the trailer when I went to see the magic faraway tree with the kids. It does look very fun.

25:40Declan Donnelly:Does it? Because I saw the poster on the side of a bus and it looks awful.

25:44Ant McPartlin:Yeah.

25:45Declan Donnelly:Yeah. The trailer's good. Is it? Okay. There's laughs in it. Because there's not many laughs in the poster, granted. But it was just that stock shot of it. I just thought that looks a bit rubbish.

25:55Ant McPartlin:Yeah. Can I suggest one? Yeah, you can. The new Emilia Clarke ponies. I've just read some press about it, but apparently very good. And being mentioned in the same breath as the Americans. Right, okay. That's what made me think of it. Is it a spy thing? It is a spy thing. She and the other girl are wives of two CIA, American CIA agents in Moscow. And the husbands get killed. And then the two wives have to kind of go on some sort of weird spy adventure. But apparently it's very, very good up there with the Americans. So we'll do that one as well. Can we watch Rivals series two? Rivals season two as well.

26:32Ant McPartlin:We've got so good. Do you like the music in it? Yeah. It's good, good 80s music in it. Yeah. Do you want a fun fact about the music? Yeah. The music supervisor on Rivals is the current Mrs Donnelly's brother.

26:46Declan Donnelly:Nepotism.

26:50Ant McPartlin:My brother-in-law is the music supervisor on Rivals. Mastermate said no. Yeah, your music's rubbish. Yeah, do you like the music?

26:57Declan Donnelly:Absolutely dire. Worst thing about it.

27:02Ant McPartlin:Yeah. What does a music supervisor do? So in the scripts where it says like there's 80s music playing or whatever, then he will suggest what tracks. You've got to be careful that you don't play a track that is from two years in the future to when the scene was set. So he has to kind of collect all the, what the big hits were around the time. That's a cool job, isn't it? It's a really cool job. And go, have you thought about this song? This would work really well here. And then if they go, yeah, yeah, you want that one. And then he has to go and do all the negotiations with the publishers and clear it and all the really legal stuff.

27:32Ant McPartlin:So he does all of that. So he looks after all the music on Rivals. And he's done loads of movies as well and stuff. And because the music is such a big part of Rivals as well, everybody's kind of loving the music. So, yeah, he's thrilled. The day is drawn ever closer when Antje will have a tattoo to commemorate his participation in this podcast. What was it for like six months? My participation in the podcast. For like, what was it, six months or something? Yeah, I think it was.

28:01Declan Donnelly:And I keep seeing my body going, oh God, that body, not my body. I mean, I don't say that about my body.

28:07Ant McPartlin:I think, oh yeah, when I see my body. We've got some nice suggestions this week to add to the body or not, as the case may be. Jacqueline says, respect guys. Respect Jacqueline. How about this for a tattoo? Either a tattoo of R13EYF, as a nod to the butcher ribeye registration plate, which is on the shelf behind you, or a tattoo of an ant and a duck sitting together. I've attached a drawing of this one. Oh, that's a very nice looking tattoo, though. It is nice, isn't it? Do we like it? Yeah, I like the look of that.

28:48Declan Donnelly:Yeah. It's not your main tattoo, though, is it? Like a secondary tattoo. That's not top of your arm, is it? No. It's a little kind of...

28:56Ant McPartlin:It's cute. I like it. It's cute. It's cute. Cute tattoo. He likes it, Jacqueline. Well done. He thinks it's cute. Hello there, Ant and Dec. Hello there. My name is Ayla Rose and I am a tattoo artist from Inverness. I've watched you guys since I was a little girl and your podcast has been the best part of mine and my partner's week since it began. Oh. Oh, you need to get some more good stuff in your week. Yeah. You need some hobbies. Love the idea of you getting a tattoo designed by a fan. I love this photo of you guys. After the Newcastle Carabao Cup win, the design will be done as a simple line work or as realism, depending on preference.

29:30Ant McPartlin:Thanks for taking time to read. That's good. That's really good. Your teeth are a bit weird. They are a bit weird. Why is that? My teeth are quite weird. I've got braces. Do you like it?

29:40Declan Donnelly:Yeah, I mean, you're very prominent. You're very prominent. I'm quite prominent. Which I don't mind. I don't know if I necessarily want a picture. Sounds like you do quite mind. No, it's not actually. I don't mind, but I don't have, I want myself on my own arm. Right, yeah. It's just, it's a bit big-headed, that, isn't it? Isn't it, though? A little bit. Whereas the Ant and Duck, on the other hand, is a subtle little nod to our friendship and Ant and Duck. What are we saying about that? I think we will have to say no.

30:08Ant McPartlin:It's a no because you don't want yourself on your own.

30:10Declan Donnelly:Yes.

30:10Ant McPartlin:Okay, nice idea, though. I like it. I'd have it on. You have it, then. I'd have it on, I'd say. Have it on your own? Nah. Jess says, hi, guys. Hi, Jess. I've come up with the perfect tattoo idea for him.

30:22Declan Donnelly:Well, stop the search. Stop the search. She's found it.

30:25Ant McPartlin:Mainly because I know how much he absolutely loved this particular thing each time Dec offered a swap. So really, it only feels right to make it permanent. I'm fucking expecting. I know what it is. I know what it is. I know what it is. I'm fully expecting this one. Can I guess?

30:41Declan Donnelly:Can I guess? You can guess. It's the tap shoes, isn't it?

30:46Ant McPartlin:There they are. It's the tap shoes. As a tattoo. That's very good. I'm fully expecting this masterpiece to become a reality. And honestly, I'd be disappointed if it doesn't.

30:56Declan Donnelly:No, because in the way it's been drawn so whisperly. No, he can't get that. I can't get that. As much as I love it. Oh, I love it.

31:05Ant McPartlin:I love it.

31:06Declan Donnelly:It's a nice idea. It is a nice idea. I mean, if I was looking for more places to tattoo, then I would get that as a laugh. It's great. I'm telling you, my wife would never let me get that. What about on the ankle or something? Oh, arms would go... On your feet. On my feet! What, those lovely wicky feet? On the sole of my feet! I'm not losing wicky feet marks for them top shoes.

31:32Declan Donnelly:Is Jess going to be disappointed? Can we just keep it on there? Because they're very good. We should put them down on the leg. Yeah, go on then. Yeah, but then it's on the knee, and then look what's on the other knee. So I'm still on the other knee. So those two are never going to happen, but I just like looking at them. So, so far we have, is that all we've got? No, we've got a few more.

31:52Ant McPartlin:Is this it though? No, I'll tell you what we've got.

31:54Declan Donnelly:The boomerang, which we like. The respect guys ate bananas, which we like. The ant and dog, which is cute. And the golfer with the ball and the flag with my belly button is never going to happen. So we'll just take it off their body. Shall we?

32:11Ant McPartlin:No, you got to leave that one. I get to choose one, remember? No, you don't. That's my one. I absolutely do not. That stays there. we've got all these little ones from Nicole oh yes that we've blown up so you've got your Psych the Album your Saturday Takeaway your Respect Guys Fingers and Stay Fresh Cheese Bags

32:29Declan Donnelly:very good we just dot them around the chest area dot them around the chest area we like these

32:33Ant McPartlin:very good and I've also got the Soundwave oh of your name yes is it my name my laugh let's stick it around the arm it doesn't have to be my laugh it could be something else can't it like the

32:46Declan Donnelly:No, that's the whole point. Is it? It could be your children's laugh. Why would I want Dex children's laugh on my arm? That's weird. You're weird. That's good. I think we've got progress here. We're getting there. We are getting there. Please, please, please send in more ideas that are just cool. Just cool, nice-looking tattoos. Yeah? A bit like the boomerang one with the Angel of the North and the Time Bridge and the Longitude and Latter-Tude. I really like that because you've got to have a little think about it and it just looks cool. Conversation starter. It's a conversation starter.

33:23Ant McPartlin:Like the golfer. No, no, no. Not the golfer with the ball going into my belly button. Great conversation starter. Keep them coming in. Hang it out at beltlabox.com.

33:31Declan Donnelly:Please.

33:32Ant McPartlin:Let's put some ink on this guy.

33:33Declan Donnelly:For the love of God, make them better than this.

33:37Ant McPartlin:This next bit is brought to you by Gemini, Google's AI app.

33:41Declan Donnelly:So big summer of football, as we know. I can't wait. It's going to get better than Bella. Hopefully. Got me thinking. I wonder who Gemini would think is the better footballer, me or you? Ooh, that's an interesting conundrum. Hasn't seen us play? Conundrum, yeah. Okay, I'll ask. Gemini, who do you think would be the better footballer, Ant or Dec? You're talking about the famous presenting duo, Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly. That's right. Declan's slightly shorter stature might give him a lower centre of gravity, which might make an excellent winger or attacking midfielder. Ant, on the other hand, might have an advantage with reach and heading the ball.

34:18Could be a strong central defender or even a commanding goalkeeper. With their famous teamwork, they'd likely be fantastic at setting up plays together, always knowing where the other one is.

34:27Declan Donnelly:What a really good response, Gemini. That is quite a good response.

34:29Ant McPartlin:And you do play in goal sometimes. I do play in goal sometimes, yeah. Can I get some tips from Gemini, please? You can. Let me ask Gemini a question. Okay. Gemini, we've actually got a five-a-side game coming up in a week or two, and I'm going to need a really good pre-match stretch routine. Oh, here it goes again. A step-by-step warm-up, please, and make me look like a pro. Gemini says, to look like a pro and protect your hamstrings from the inevitable Tuesday night intensity, you're on active movements that mimic the game. Here's a high-efficiency, five-minute dynamic routine guaranteed to warm you up and, more importantly, get you looking the part.

35:08Ant McPartlin:Come on, then. Five-minute dynamic warm-up. Open the gate. That's not just getting out the bottom of your garden. This is jog three steps. Lift knee. Rotate it outward. Hips and groin. That's that one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That looks like a footballer. Close the gate.

35:24Declan Donnelly:Yeah. Same again, but reverse. Yeah. Like that. Hamstring scoops. Oh, yeah.

35:30Ant McPartlin:Yes.

35:31Declan Donnelly:Yeah, that looks like a pro. That's good.

35:33Ant McPartlin:Side lunge to twist. Butt kicks and high knees. And acceleration bursts. Yeah, they do that a lot, don't they? When they come on as a substitute. Ooh, they run really fast. That's a good routine. Can I ask Gemini something? Go on then.

35:45Declan Donnelly:Okay. Obviously, I can't play because I've hurt my toe. Yeah. So I could be ref. Should I be ref? Yeah, yeah. Okay, let me ask Gemini just because it's boring as I've been a ref. See if I can make it fun. Gemini, I'm refereeing a five-a-side with my mate. Give me some good ideas on how to keep the game fun for me and for them. Here we go. Gemini says, Oh, man, sorry to hear about the toe. Oh, that's very kind. Nice, Gemini. It's more than what you've done. Being a five-a-side ref for your mates is a fine art. If you take it too seriously, everyone gets annoyed. If you don't take it seriously enough, it descends into chaos.

36:22Declan Donnelly:Gemini says, here's the fun ref match day blueprint. Custom sin bin cards. Instead of reds and yellows, use a two-minute blue card for tactical fouls. That's quite good. Whining. That is good. Two dramatic VAR reviews from controversial calls make the TV screen hand gesture, walk up to a sideline monitor or a blank wall, stare at it intensely and deliver a theatrical final verdict. That's brilliant. I want you to do that. That is good. Thank you, Gemini. But I could just be caught. Gemini, can I have a short, high energy, half-time speech to keep everyone locked in, please? We're getting huddled.

37:00Declan Donnelly:Right, right, we're getting huddled. Right, pretend, pretend. This is my speech. Gemini says, bring it in, bring it in, circle up, you beautiful disasters. Here's some advice. Stop passing to the opposition. They have different colored shirts for a reason. Attackers, stop trying to walk the ball into the net. Just hit it. And defenders, stop being lazy. My toe might hurt, but my eyesight is perfect. Let's actually try for the next 20 minutes. Hands in. One, two, three. Don't embarrass me. Thanks, Gemini. That's amazing. With Gemini, you can chat live with the truly helpful AI assistant. You jump in, get some spawn tips, ask for more details, or even show it what you're talking about by sharing your screen or your camera as well.

37:41Declan Donnelly:It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done.

37:45Ant McPartlin:Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone.

37:50Declan Donnelly:Check responses, set of required, compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus.

37:57Ant McPartlin:Shall we get some letters? Got a few in the post bag. Go on, man.

38:01Declan Donnelly:Shall I get them out? Yes, please. Okay. choose your weapon I will I'll have that one you'll have that one I'll have that one you'll have that one nice it's nice to read your letters again it's your letters it's your letters you remember that T-Five Friday yeah still love that this says hi Aunt Dec and all the teen hi hi nice of you I see your mum's out of date Christmas puddin and raise you an out of date tin of golden syrup mmm I'm intrigued this all leads back to my mom serving a Christmas pun, which was older than my niece. She heard that episode. Oh, she heard it? She did. She laughed about it, to be fair.

38:44Declan Donnelly:She went, I'm just pleased that you didn't mention the other one, which I'll tell you, I can't tell you on here. Well, maybe I can't, but not this week, when we run out of ideas.

38:54Ant McPartlin:Something else out of date?

38:56Declan Donnelly:Badly. Anyway, back to this letter. Now, unfortunately, in January 24, my mum had a burst pipe. Oh, okay. In the loft. That flooded the entire house. The house had to be completely gutted and cleared out. It was done for my mum by the insurance company, and they found many, many out-of-date items of food. What are they doing, Checky? In the loft? No. Well, just in the house, because the house was flooded. Right. The worst was this golden syrup tin that went out of date in 1995. And this was in January 2024. Oh, my God. Wow. The worst of it was that my mum and dad moved house in 2005. So she moved with it already out of date.

39:41Declan Donnelly:Probably if she'd cleared the house herself, she would have kept it, I reckon. In my mum's words, my idea of out of date and theirs is very different. I'm loving the podcast. Definitely a pen on us. respect guys Amanda from Wickford in Essex wow god that does trump my mothers doesn't it so that's 29 years after the best before yeah wow 29 years is a long time let's get her to send it in then send it in then we'll all dip her finger in I'll really taste it if Geck's not that bothered by best before or best before dates will we have a taste will we yeah you will no we you will because you're not bothered by them I don't Maybe that's your hobby.

40:23Declan Donnelly:Trying food that's out of date. That's your new hobby. We go around old kitchens, people's house moves. Idea for sure.

40:35Ant McPartlin:Idea for sure. Sort your cupboard out. Let's kill deck. Pam Foster says, hi guys. Hi, Pam. Hi. Hey. Alex has joined, hasn't he? Yeah, it's nice. Did you both know that Wallace and Gromit were going to have a newsreader called Anton Deck in Vengeance Most Foul? Or, like the rest of us, were you just sat down in front of the TV, bellies full of Christmas dinner, and surprised by it?

41:06Declan Donnelly:Just like the rest of you. Bellies full of Christmas dinner, surprised. It's a real compliment though, isn't it? Oh, absolutely. Because they're brilliant. Nick Park's brilliant. All the guys at Aardman are geniuses to have a career that long, you know, going that long, that successful, says something. Can a company be a national treasure? A company? Yeah.

41:26Ant McPartlin:Yeah, I think they can. They've done such amazing work over the years with all those movies that they've done and Wallace and Gromit National Treasures.

41:33Declan Donnelly:Yeah, they are. Wallace and Gromit National Treasures, David Attenborough, The King, Helen Mirren. That's it. Draw the line there. That is? That's it, yeah. That's it, yeah.

41:42Ant McPartlin:When we first started on TV, well, when we first started with our own show called The Anton Deck Show in 1995 on Children's BBC. Where are you going with this? We turned up at the BBC one day to go to work and they didn't have any idea who we were. And you had to go up in reception and check in. And I don't know what I said, Anton Deck. And they did that. They wrote the visitor's pass with Anton Deck and gave it to him. Yeah, they did. That's right. And what's your name? I said, no, I'm Deck. And I looked at his and Anton Deck on his visitor pass at the BBC.

42:16Declan Donnelly:We said, we need two passes. We're not just one person. Maybe Nick Park. Was the receptionist. No, I just, it was in reception. All right, yeah. Pitching an idea, overheard it. Maybe. And thought, I know, in 30s time, I'm going to use that. So that was, that genuinely happened. Hi, guys. Hi. Before I get into the email, can I just stop by saying how much I have? Absolutely loved watching stroke listening to the podcast. Eight large bananas from me. I've binged the whole list of episodes in three days in three days you are our biggest fan beat that beat that let's see if you can beat that you also need to get out more get a hobby get a hobby the reason I'm writing in is because I think you have a ghost in the studio what?

43:01Declan Donnelly:oh my god this is something else my mother's into is ghost hunting please see the video what video? that's me that's me that's me and I just got back from my oldest so I was tanned so I could not be mistaken for a ghost

43:15Ant McPartlin:okay so we've got so it's me

43:17Declan Donnelly:and a stripy jumper zooming in

43:19Ant McPartlin:oh zooming in on the plant is that it the plant moved do it again the plant oh

43:25Declan Donnelly:it waved it waved it's telling us something it's telling us that's a warning it's somebody trying to communicate it is it is it is it said please don't eat out of date golden syrup because you will die like I did that's what that's what it's saying

43:40Ant McPartlin:come on perk up is it plastic or real

43:43Declan Donnelly:plastic oh it's plastic how interesting it's not a plant

43:48Ant McPartlin:maybe it's a poltergeist

43:49Declan Donnelly:that is up there that was from Leanne from Leyland UK put me on the map who what no the whole letter the whole point of this was Leanne from Leyland UK put me on the map Leila Leanne Leanne Leanne from Leyland just a lot of L's

44:08Ant McPartlin:I'm just trying to try to put her on the map

44:12Declan Donnelly:get your map out and put it on Leyland put a flag in Leyland where is Leyland I don't know where Leyland is there Preston okay Leyland Leyland Greater Manchester get a flag okay oh that's a toothpick that'll do for now what who's these

44:28Ant McPartlin:Michael Sheen used them ages ago

44:29Declan Donnelly:with the right

44:32Ant McPartlin:where is Preston

44:34Declan Donnelly:there you go there we go Leyland they don't stick as well as there you go Leanne Leanne from Leyland

44:45Ant McPartlin:Leanne from Leyland It's not stinging It's not The thing's not stinging The name's not stinging The whole thing's not stinging

44:51Declan Donnelly:Well, Bounty, we've got a ghost We've kind of skirting over that fact that we've got a ghost

44:56Ant McPartlin:Got one here from Hannah Hi all Hi Hi Happy Thursday Happy Thursday Happy Thursday I met you both from the height of PG &Duncan fame through the Famous for 5 Minutes segment on Live and Kicking, hosted by Emma Forbes and Andy Peters in their prime. I remember writing in my own diary at the time that it was the best day of my life. So much so that, fast forward to the next year, 1996, still on my high of being famous for five minutes, your single, Better Watch Out, was released. Gone was PJ and Duncan and here was Anton Deck, the serious music artist. I wouldn't say we're serious. I don't know whether you ever read your reviews, but let's just say there was one less than complimentary review of the single in The Times.

45:41Ant McPartlin:Oh, what do you expect? It's The Times, for goodness sake. She says in brackets, quite a bougie read for a 12-year-old, some might say. Yeah, all would say. I took the review a bit too personally. Good. So much so that I wrote to the journalist to tell him how wrong he was and how the single was pure brilliance, suggesting that he needed to go and see you live. I believe I suggested various tour dates he could see for himself the raw talent. Any song that starts, ow, la la la la la, deserves true praise. A few weeks later, I received an apology from the journalist and a signed photo from you both.

46:17Ant McPartlin:She got an apology? It spent many a year proudly on show, on my wall next to my famous for five minutes certificate. Always remember you both being so accommodating and lovely when I met you, even when you found out I was a Macam. It's been a total joy now as a 41-year-old having my kids enjoy your TV shows. Loving the podcast and trips down memory lane. Love from Hannah, famous for five minutes in 1995. Thank you very much, Hannah. I would love to read that Times review of Better Watch Out. If we wrote personally to every journalist that has given us a bad review.

46:46Declan Donnelly:We wouldn't stop writing.

46:48Ant McPartlin:We'd still be bloody writing now. And he may, he or she may have had a point.

46:54Declan Donnelly:Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's true. But thank you for sticking up for us, Hannah. Yeah, thanks for sticking up for us, Hannah. I've never heard of that before. A fan sticking up for an artist and writing to a reviewer.

47:06Ant McPartlin:Have you? Probably not anymore, but I guess, I bet they do it on social media now. I know, yeah. Yeah. Like if you... Don't like computers now, innit? Somebody says something bad about One Direction. Don't all the loads of people have a go at them and do a pile on online and stuff like that. So they don't. Anyone criticises it? BTS. BTS. Yeah, but like that's... Yeah, you don't want to do that.

47:28Declan Donnelly:BTS. Criticising BTS. Don't do it. Don't have beef with BTS. That's the only one I want to say about BTS. Listen.

47:36Ant McPartlin:Not think, you can't see anything about BTS. We'll have letters. Who else? Taylor Swift? What about her? Swifties. Uh-huh. They'll come and have a go at you. I don't care. Bieber? Swifties. Believe us. So we're not doing any swap today because the trainers have gone to Manchester, to the artist, to be... Sprayed up. So we'll get them back and then we'll resume swaps. We'll be back on Monday. See you then. Respect, guys.

48:08Ow!

48:09Ant McPartlin:That was such a good one. I'm picking up my bin. Couldn't resist it. I have something.

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