BRITs Mayhem, Madonna’s Iconic Fall & The WORST Prize Ant and Dec Have Ever Given

5:48Declan Donnelly:Is that how our audience speak? One or two of them Do it again? I'll just pile it on me I would like to write a comment Which is a letter of complaint About Dec's impression of our audience

5:59Ant McPartlin:That's not the whole audience One or two of them though You know who you are

6:03Declan Donnelly:And the other ones I do it like Dec I like to take course by course That's how it's supposed to get Is that Only one or two of them

6:14Ant McPartlin:And finally Jamie has helpfully emailed and said I have an idea for how you can liven up the podcast a bit

6:20Declan Donnelly:Does it need liven up? Apparently no Does it? Because we were told we were told early doors to relax and just chat

6:26Ant McPartlin:Now we've gone a little bit too far and we need to liven it up again Okay right So Jamie has said for the postbag section you could do the dance you did back on SMTV Live

6:37Declan Donnelly:Ah my sister had been saying this to me My sister Emma said we should do this so she got there first Jamie

6:44Ant McPartlin:Well, can we address this point? Because we're not allowed, are we?

6:47Declan Donnelly:Well, the song we can't play. Well, if you can't play the song, we're not going to dance to nothing. I look like a maniac. For legal reasons, we cannot play this song. So here's just something our editor found. Oh, it's a two. Oh,

7:08Declan Donnelly:that was it. See, I told you he remembers. he remembers more dance moves than the Pussycat Dolls. You probably know the Pussycat Dolls entire gig. You swat. You dance swat.

7:21Ant McPartlin:Let's put that out and see if we get sued. Thank you for all your comments. Please do keep them coming in. Hanging out at belterbox.com We love hearing from you. We love all your suggestions for how we can relax and then liven things up a bit more and then relax a bit.

7:33Declan Donnelly:Make your mind up. Please just make your mind up. Don't know whether I'm coming or going. Where's the map? I used to hate it but now I look forward to it.

7:40Ant McPartlin:Oh, you'll like it now.

7:41Declan Donnelly:Where's the map?

7:41Ant McPartlin:I haven't got time for it this week. What do you mean? I'm still putting my flags in. Our reach has grown and grown. That's good. So I'm working on it. It'll be back next week. Extra map next week? Extra map next week. We've got some fantastic locations. How's the week been? It's been very good. Yes. We had a little trip away with the fam. Did you? I did as well, yes. We've both been away, so we had a really cool time.

8:00Declan Donnelly:I went to a sunnier climate than you.

8:02Ant McPartlin:I can tell.

8:03Declan Donnelly:I can tell. It's got a little bit of sun on the old forehead. I would like to point something out now. Go on. I had a lovely time, by the way, but I've ended up with an ear infection. So you know I had an eye infection a couple of weeks ago? I've got an ear infection. And I can't hear out this left ear. What did you say? I can't. I can hear out me right ear. So if I'm doing this and looking at you more like that, it's because I can't hear you and I need me right ear. You can't hear. Nah, can't hear. Nah. I mean, I can't hear it through the right ear. I just can't. I can't hear that. Can you hear that?

8:37Yeah.

8:37Declan Donnelly:Yeah, of course you can. Very close. So I had to call a doctor out on like the second day. So he puts the little thing in my ear and he's like, ear infection. Do you swim in the pool? I was like, yeah, I did swim in the pool. A lot, you know. And he went, ah, I see. Children, lots of children in the pool. Ear infections. I was saying to my wife, I was like, oh my God, can you believe it? It's these kids in the pool when you're on holiday, weaning in the pool and being sick in the pool. And obviously there's bacteria in there. Why did you go on holiday? There's bacteria in the pool That has given me an ear infection And I'm obviously very weak on that side of my head Because this is the eye

9:15Ant McPartlin:It's the same side of the head as the eye He had the big styled eye I did

9:19Declan Donnelly:I said I can't believe it I said come on Control your kids Can you believe that? And Amzie was like Oh yeah I can't believe it either Anyway I said Wilder wouldn't do that You don't see my son Going around being sick And weaning pools and stuff do you? I said no Because we look after them The very next morning, he eats far too much watermelon for breakfast and like loads of it. And I was like, look how much he loves watermelon. They're like, that's too much watermelon for it. And I kept giving it to him. I was going, but he loves it. Yeah, more. He's going, have some more. He's holding it himself these days.

9:53Declan Donnelly:Have some more. Look how he holds. He's got one in each hand. Have some more. So then he gets in the pool. Oh no. Within two seconds, his eyes bulge out, his arms go down, and Lamsey goes, get him out of the pool. Get him out of the pool. Everything was a bit of a blur. I couldn't hear out the left ear. She was saying it. The ear infection was strong. The compulsion to vomit was strong from him. Just as I reached, I didn't make it in time, and he was sick, watermelon all over the pool. Oh, no. So it's thanks to parents like me. It's the parents like me. Savages. Savages. That give other people ear infections.

10:37Declan Donnelly:Oh, no. And it's where they call the guy with Annette. Yeah, they come and get the net. Annette, is she the manager? Yeah, yeah, she's the manager. So I had to get the net, get as much watermelon as I could out. I was helping with my hands. Scooping. Trying to scoop as well. It was like, sir, just let me. Just let me. Just let me do it. Just let me. Oh, I'm dropping it again. I'm dropping it again. So I can't hear you. I go, what did you say? Stand on me right.

11:01Ant McPartlin:He's like, I know you feel bad, but please, you're just getting in my way.

11:04Declan Donnelly:And control your kids because this kind of behaviour gives people ear infections. Oh no. Yeah, that was very popular. That was lovely.

11:11Ant McPartlin:We had a bit of mishap around water. Yeah, we went up to Scotland. Well, I went to Newcastle first, went to the Toon. Yes. Checked in with the family, saw the whole family. Checked in?

11:19Declan Donnelly:You can check in? You've got to check in?

11:21Ant McPartlin:I've got to check in, yeah. Yeah, my family went in a hotel. Checked in with the family. they're all very much enjoying the podcast. Good. All very intrigued as to how much Ant's Pants were.

11:32Declan Donnelly:Can't tell them until I meet them in person. That was the pledge.

11:36Ant McPartlin:Yeah. Can't tell them. Did you tell them? No. Did you tell them? I might have told one or two.

11:40Declan Donnelly:Well then, I know what your family like. They'll all tell each other because there are a lot of gossips.

11:47Ant McPartlin:So they were all very impressed with that. Impressed? Impressed with your new expenditure. Went shopping in the town. Went to Fenix. Did you? department store. Went shopping around Fenix. Everybody in Fenix. Did you buy any underwear? I did not. But a few of the assistants in Fenix were very interested as to how much you spent on your pants. Everybody's just asking me in Newcastle how much you spent on your pants.

12:12Declan Donnelly:Everybody's asking me. The cabin crew on the way out there who didn't mention anything about you sleeping with your seatbelt on. They didn't mention that. They didn't mention that. But they did ask me about my pants. So I told them. People have been out and about all the time. I've told them It is the question On everyone's lips At the minute What can I say So yeah

12:32Ant McPartlin:So I did that Then went up to Scotland Didn't think that through It was freezing Yeah Beautiful though Beautiful but really Really cold Obviously Yeah didn't get much sunshine What was the temperature It was

12:43Declan Donnelly:It was about 25 26 daily for me Oh was it Yeah Oh was it It wasn't mega hot But it was just You know I love the sun Yeah you do So I can sit in it Read a book

12:51Ant McPartlin:Yeah Lovely

12:52Declan Donnelly:Well we had one day My girls loved it

12:54Ant McPartlin:We had one day when it was warmer than all the others. And it got up to one degree. Did it? Did it? Yeah.

13:00Declan Donnelly:Oh, God.

13:01Ant McPartlin:Take your jumper off here. It was fresh. It was really fresh. So much so the lake and the hotel was frozen over. Was it? Which was far too tempting for Jack. So he went over to the lake because he wanted to bash on the ice. Straight in.

13:18Declan Donnelly:He went in?

13:19Ant McPartlin:In the ice. Frozen lake? Frozen. What did you do? Well, it was frozen, but it was all cracked up. so it wasn't like, you know, it wasn't like an ice rink. Right. It was all cracked up. So that was the thing, he wanted to grab a bit of the ice. Oh yeah, we all do that. To pick it up and he went over and just... I still do that. Yeah. Head over heels, he was in the water. Face first. Breezing cold. Oh my God. Yeah. So he didn't get an ear infection, but...

13:40Declan Donnelly:That's surprising, isn't it? It is, though, isn't it? Yeah. That's a pond, that's a lake. Yeah. If anything, there's more bacteria in there. More swans in there. Yeah. Ducks and stuff.

13:49Ant McPartlin:But yeah, So we did that and then came back and warmed up after that. Got up to five, six degrees. It was positively balmy. But yeah, it was nice.

13:58Declan Donnelly:It's nice to have a little break. I tell you what I've also had, and I want to say thank you. I've had a lot of people wishing me well and giving me their sympathies for Hurley that passed away. It was honestly, it was such a shock when he passed. But the love that people have poured on me everywhere I've gone. Even when I was on holiday, even this morning, just strangers in the street coming over saying, there he is there on the screen, if you can't see. There's my lovely boy, Hurley. He was a chocky brown Labrador. He was 12 and a half when he passed him. He passed away, passed in my arms. We're at the vets and we're all there to see him, all the family, everyone that he loved was there.

14:37Declan Donnelly:And it was a very sad, but it was a very lovely moment when we all got to say goodbye to him. I've cried a lot. I've cried for anyone that's lost a pet that is beloved to them then my heart goes out to you and I know how you feel because it's it's tough you're just reminded of him all the time you know wherever you go the walks that because I've still got two other dogs so I still have to take them for walks so the walks that we go on the walks that we used to go on with him and you know it just I've cried on middle of walks and I've cried making their dog food because the balls are next to his ball but it's been awful but thank you.

15:17Declan Donnelly:Thank you for coming over. Thank you for speaking to me. I'll never not thank you for that because it actually, it's really quite soothing and it does help. And it's nice to hear if you've ever lost a pet or a dog especially that you were close to just how much it means to you. So thanks. I think that's a good time to take a pause.

15:41Declan Donnelly:This podcast is sponsored by Santander who understand that getting started on a goal isn't easy and taken a meaningful first step. It's how progress happens.

15:50Ant McPartlin:So we're a few weeks in to the pod, in full swing now. How do you feel it's going now as opposed to when we started?

15:57Declan Donnelly:Better. No, I enjoyed the first one because we were both a bit nervous. We were nervous, yeah. And we were like, how's it going to be taken by the viewers and the listeners? How's it going to go down? But it's gone down well. Yeah, it's been really nice. And that gives you confidence to keep doing more.

16:12Ant McPartlin:Yeah, exactly. What I really enjoy as well is like hearing the Hangouts Yeah, exactly. It's a little bit of a calm space, a safe space. It's a working title, that, isn't it? It's a bit of a safe space to kind of share. Yeah.

16:22Declan Donnelly:And it's not just too serious. Just relax and chat. Just relax and chat. Just relax and chat. That's what they've realised. Just relaxing and chatting is the best way forward. Exactly. And I didn't know that prior to a podcast. Yes. Mystery door, you know, we don't know what's behind there. We don't know what's going to come through. But we can deal with it. Yeah. The more you do it, the more confident you get.

16:41Ant McPartlin:Absolutely. Couldn't agree more. And that's what Santander is doing. and working hard to help customers build the confidence they need to achieve a goal that matters to them.

16:51Declan Donnelly:Santander, it starts here. Now, you are going to bring me the backstory, the origin story of St. Anthony.

17:02Ant McPartlin:Anthony, Anthony, Anthony. What? It's pronounced both ways. Some people call us St. Anthony, some people call us St. Anthony. I know you're a ther, aren't you? I'm an Anthony. Not a Tony, you, are you? He's not a Tony, is he?

17:13Declan Donnelly:No, you know I'm not a Tony. Tony Mac I'm not a Tony Mac the mate of ours Alan who will be listening to this he really likes the podcast by the way he loves it hi Al just to wind me up he will call me Tony Mac I'm not a Tony nothing against Tonys of this world or Macs just I ain't that Tony Mac I'm not Tony Mac

17:33Ant McPartlin:Tony Mac

17:34Declan Donnelly:I'm not Tony Mac Tony Mac no it won't be on the poster

17:37Ant McPartlin:hanging out Tony Mac and Dick sounds like three of us Tony Mac and Dick So St. Anthony Come on, origin story please St. Anthony of Padua And he was a priest And he had what's known as a breviary Sorry, I can't hear I said he had a breviary Which is not a bible But it's a book of like prayers and psalms Right All that kind of stuff, all that jazz So his breviary went missing And it was stolen Right And he prayed so hard And the thief who took it Was overcome with guilt That he brought it back

18:19Declan Donnelly:No way

18:20Ant McPartlin:So St Anthony is the patron saint of lost things

18:23Declan Donnelly:Yeah he is

18:23Ant McPartlin:So if you lose your thing Pray to St Anthony If you lose anything You pray to St Anthony Anthony And that will be returned to you Or you'll find it'll turn up somewhere And that's how he became the patron saint of lost things Brilliant I like these

18:38Declan Donnelly:Very quick one I like that's good though I like that I do like these bring us more next week whenever you can do you like them? am I the only one? I like that if I lose something I go Tony Tony look around something's lost and must be found Tony Tony I'm sure the Saint Anthony doesn't want to be called Tony as much as I don't want to be called Tony so from now on Anthony Anthony or Anthony Anthony however you want to pronounce it turn around I've lost something that needs to be found. That's what you should be saying. Tolly. Give over. He's a saint. God bless him. You're very familiar with the saints, Fiona.

19:21Declan Donnelly:Some would say too familiar. Oh, Brit's weekend this weekend. Brit's Saturday. You're not hosting it. No, I'm not. Are you? No, I'm not. No, not again. We've hosted it three times. Three times. Never again. It's quite Well actually I should never say never Never say never Because it's a weird thing to host

19:42Ant McPartlin:Well we hosted it in Was it 2000 or 2001? Oh god And after that we said never again And then they came back in Well they came back a few times But in 2015 for some reason We said We said Oh go on then we'll do it again And then we said never again Yeah we did And then the following year they went Do you know what to do one more time? We're like And they went That'll make it three times We went Alright then let's make it three We'll make it three So we did it

20:03Declan Donnelly:And the reason why it's We always say, oh, never again. It's not because we don't believe in the awards. I really do. I think they're really good for British music. You know, it's actually a really good night if you're there as somebody who's been nominated, because we'd been nominated for a Brit back in the day. And that was a fun night. We didn't win that night.

20:24Ant McPartlin:Best newcomer we were nominated for in 1994. And you won't even believe who won it. Who went on to win it.

20:31Declan Donnelly:You probably - You've never heard of them again. They were a band from Manchester called Oasis. Like the drink. Like the drink. Yeah. I like the clothes shop. Do you remember the clothes shop Oasis? Yeah.

20:45Ant McPartlin:They won Best Newcomer that year. They didn't have done the achievement. Nah, I'm not quite sure. I don't know what they do.

20:50Declan Donnelly:It's a shame. If they'd stuck out, they could have been big. But anyway, yeah. So we were nominated. But it's a fun night if you nominate. It's a fun night. Not necessarily if you're hosting it though, because everybody in the room just wants to get drunk going to have a good time. And you're trying to wrangle the whole crowd and you're also trying to present a TV show. And also, all the artists and bands who said they would happily do an interview with you before the show starts always change their mind. They're like, and down in the middle of the show, Coldplay are going to do an interview with you.

21:21Declan Donnelly:And you're like, great, it's going to be a great show. And then come to the night, like 10 minutes before you go live, they say, Coldplay, they don't want to do an interview before they perform.

21:31Ant McPartlin:This is the start of beef with Chris Martin.

21:33Declan Donnelly:I don't have beef with Chris Martin. Yeah, you do. I don't have beef with Chris Martin. You should. Why should I?

21:38Ant McPartlin:Because we need beef with people. That's how you boost your YouTube viewers. And one of the best feelings, though, is getting to the end of it. It feels like you've landed the show. You've landed that plane. It's been a bit of turbulence, but you've landed the plane. And we felt that one time. Was it the 2015 one? Madonna. That Madonna was... We had to hit this. We had to hit the Madonna link on zero. We get there and it's chaotic and it's always, the last award is always for best album. So we'd come off best album. We filled a bit of time and then we go, and here we are to close the show. It's Madonna.

22:10Ant McPartlin:We throw it to Madonna.

22:11Declan Donnelly:And we say Madonna on zero. Zero. We're like, yes, we've landed this plane.

22:18Ant McPartlin:We turned to each other. What's up, Captain? We fist bumped like that. Boom. Somebody came over, handed us a glass of champagne each. We went, yes, we did it. We turned around and we sort of walking out of the auditorium. So we head back to our dressing room and we're there. Cheers, cheers. Chin, chin. Lovely job. Well done. And then we put on the TV and it's like top story on the news. Madonna falls at the Brits. We're like, no, she didn't. You what? No, she didn't. She's just performing in there.

22:44Declan Donnelly:We missed the whole thing. We missed it. Do you remember? It was the famous bit where they pulled the cape and the cape was stuck on her. And it was meant to come off in one, but it didn't. And she fell downstairs backwards. And she tumbled backwards down the stairs. It was that, yeah. But we missed it all. Did you see her after at all? Madonna we didn't see Madonna afterwards no no I think she was with St John's ambulance so she was held up

23:08Ant McPartlin:ah St John now there's an interesting one

23:10Declan Donnelly:oh yeah that is a good one

23:12Ant McPartlin:come back to that one can we have St John next week if you want yeah and how did he get an ambulance that was also the awards that Kim Kardashian was due to come on and present an award and we were going to do this thing where we go Kim do you mind if we get a photo and she was going to go yes then we're going to give her our phone and go, okay, take a picture of us.

23:32Declan Donnelly:It's the gag that people do to us all the time on the street, which is hilarious. But we have heard it, okay?

23:39Ant McPartlin:So don't do it again, okay? So we went, Kim, do you mind if we get a photo? And she went, yeah, sure, of course, I'll take it. And she got us into a selfie pose like that. So the gag didn't really work, but you're like, oh, at least we've got a picture together and we post it. So I had the, well, I had the camera. Then I took the camera, I had the camera and I was like, oh, the camera's locked, I can't get it open. and I was like and she stood there and she's going jeez and I was like I can't get my camera to take I'm thinking

24:04Declan Donnelly:why is it taking so long it's live telly this is just meant to be part of a sketch it didn't go the way we want to do but we will get a nice photo that we can put on social media didn't get it didn't get it

24:15Ant McPartlin:didn't get it so there's a picture of us having a selfie with Kim Kardashian but the actual selfie because somebody's fingers

24:19Declan Donnelly:got all jammed up

24:20Ant McPartlin:I got a bit nervous

24:21Declan Donnelly:the phone was a bit sweaty I got too nervous

24:24Ant McPartlin:didn't get my selfie

24:25Declan Donnelly:with Kim This is an advert for Gemini Google's personal AI assistant

24:30Ant McPartlin:Now I've been thinking Yeah We've had a few comments Saying about We need a bit more Energy in the show A bit more pizzazz

24:38Declan Donnelly:Pizzazz? Who said that?

24:40Ant McPartlin:That's what the word Who uses the word pizzazz? That is a word that was used That they want more of in the show Right So I thought a way we could do it Is by using Gemini To pizzazz up Our theme tune

24:50Declan Donnelly:Okay okay then

24:52Ant McPartlin:So have a look at this Create music Oh, you can pick a track to remix. Yeah, so what style? Can't we do 8-bit? So you can put in here, what do we want it to reference? Bananas. Bananas?

25:02Declan Donnelly:Yeah, Burnfeet.

25:04Ant McPartlin:Burnfeet, Bananas. Dex Diary.

25:07Declan Donnelly:Yeah. And Backstories of Saints.

25:12Ant McPartlin:Origin Stories of Saints. Here we go. I've created your 8-bit chiptune. The track's ready to play. Well, let's play it then. Hit it!

25:20Declan Donnelly:Got Ant's banana record. Go! Dex burnt feet are on the road Dex diary and saintly lore Plus the post bag and so much more It's the podcast for you and me The best of times with Ant and Dex A and T and Dex Did Gemini make this? That's bloody good That is good, isn't it? Yeah, I didn't know you could do that Thanks, Gemini With Gemini, you can create custom jingles.

25:54Ant McPartlin:Whether that's a funny musical birthday message for friends

25:56Declan Donnelly:or a personalised soundtrack for photos in your camera roll.

26:00Ant McPartlin:It's an easy way to create and share music. Just describe what you want to hear and let Gemini handle the rest. Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone.

26:12Declan Donnelly:Limits apply, setup required, compatibility and availability varies.

26:17Ant McPartlin:18 plus, create responsibly.

26:23Declan Donnelly:Did you watch much on your little break? I watched a bit. I finished Steel now.

26:27Ant McPartlin:Well, can we update your banana rating?

26:29Declan Donnelly:Yeah, it started on eight bananas.

26:29Ant McPartlin:It started on eight bananas, eight out of eight.

26:31Declan Donnelly:Lola, you were a bit sceptical about my eight banana rating. I think the first episode, brilliant, and then I said it. I don't think it is as good as well. It doesn't sustain. I'd say eight bananas along nicely for me. To the very end? No, not to the very end. No, it probably loses a banana in the last couple of episodes. Is that part of the plot? No, no. Actually, there's no bananas in the show. I'm surprised I enjoy it. But it's worth a watch. Banana rating. So what we're averaging? Six and a half? Seven? Six and a half. Six and a half out of a possible eight. Eight bananas. That is good. That is good.

27:09Declan Donnelly:That's good. You watch anything? I'm halfway through His and Hers on Netflix. And banana rating so far? Out of eight? Eight is the world record. Well, yeah, it's not getting that.

27:24Ant McPartlin:The current Mrs. Donnelly is very much enjoying it. Yes. But she falls asleep quite a lot. She's got what's known as Netflix narcolepsy. Oh, yes. Yeah, that's a thing. As soon as she hears, she goes... My wife loved it. Yes. Yes, I can see that. I can understand that. Why? No, I think it's much more of a girly thing. Yeah, it is. It is. Yeah, at the moment, it's... Three and a half bananas for me. What? I kind of feel like it's the kind of thing you'd see on possibly a non-terrestrial TV channel at four o 'clock on a Tuesday afternoon.

28:00Declan Donnelly:Okay. That's the kind of thing my wife loves. So you're all right. There. Yeah, yeah. I said exactly that to my wife

28:05Ant McPartlin:and she said, my current wife, and she loves it when I call her that. I said exactly that to her and she went, maybe that's why I like it.

28:14Declan Donnelly:We should get a pair of them together and they can watch stuff together.

28:17Ant McPartlin:Yes.

28:17Declan Donnelly:and then we can watch both stuff.

28:19Ant McPartlin:Yes. Yes. Let's do that. What a great idea. Great. What else is good that's on? Small Profits. Small Profits.

28:25Declan Donnelly:So good.

28:26Ant McPartlin:Is it that good? That's a hard recommend.

28:27Declan Donnelly:I watched it in one sitting. How many bananas? Eight. Wow. Eight bananas. What? Maybe seven. Don't roll back on your bananas because that's good.

28:38Ant McPartlin:That was going to be in the trailer. Eight bananas. Eight bananas. Actually seven.

28:42Declan Donnelly:Hang it out. Give us an eight bananas. They might even put it on the poster. That would be good, wouldn't it? That would be really good. If you are a film company and you really want to include our banana rating on one of your posters, then feel free. Because they're not going to do it if we only give three. Are they? They're just not. They're only going to do it if we give like seven or eight. So, Fiona, I'm going to ask you that again. How many bananas? Eight bananas. Eight bananas? Put that on the poster. Wow. We've got a jingle for Dexter Harry. Good. I have to say thank you. for anybody who sends in jingles or anything because we're really appreciative.

29:20Declan Donnelly:So keep sending them in. Should we play it? Do I need any backstory? Can we tell you who it's from? It's from Brett. Brett.

29:27Ant McPartlin:I like the sound of Brett already. Do you? He sounds cool. Brett, here's your jingle.

29:44Declan Donnelly:Wow.

29:46Ant McPartlin:This is good

30:01Declan Donnelly:It's a tough list for somebody with only one ear There's a lot going on there There's a lot going on there Very good though, Brett What are you doing? What's this? What's in the drawer? Me diary Oh, I thought it was going to be a surprise I've got a surprise if you want one.

30:18Ant McPartlin:What's the surprise? Hair gel. Want some hair gel? Why is that in there? Just in case I need any gel before the show.

30:26Declan Donnelly:Oh, it's like 1994 all over again. It's a short one this week. Is it? Yeah, not one. Just like the author. Huh?

30:33Ant McPartlin:Yeah?

30:34Declan Donnelly:Very good. Because he's short.

30:36Ant McPartlin:Very good. 2nd of April, 1994. Up at 1pm.

30:40Declan Donnelly:Up at 1pm! You lazy bones!

30:45Ant McPartlin:Yes. Lazy get, I know.

30:47Declan Donnelly:Oh, a get.

30:48Ant McPartlin:Lazy get. And set off for Portsmouth around 3pm. Wow. Had a sound check. Sound check? And waited for the place to fill up.

30:58Declan Donnelly:That's a long wait, isn't it? Yeah. I don't know. I think our visions of us just sat there on stage. Hiya, come on in. Come on, take a seat. Take a seat. There's plenty of room down the front. I've got to wait until all 2 ,000 of you come in, and then I'll begin.

31:11Ant McPartlin:It was nice to see everyone again at the Now Magazine Roadshow. Wow, remember Now Magazine? All the old faces were there from the beginning. Peter Andre. Menergy. Menergy. Men with energy.

31:27Declan Donnelly:Yeah, they were like male strippers.

31:29Ant McPartlin:They were like the Chippendales who released music.

31:33Declan Donnelly:And Andre was also a bit like a stripper who released music. And I would tell him that with his face. So if he's behind that mystery door Monday, I'll tell him, Oi, Andre, get some clothes on.

31:43Ant McPartlin:And loads of others The crowd were good Good Good A few Ant and Dec banners were floating around Were they? Which is always nice to see That is nice to see Especially when it took us so long to make them

31:59Ant McPartlin:A few drinks And a few autographs later We set off for the hotel A pizza along the way And tucked up in bed With a good carry-on film And then I've written

32:14Ant McPartlin:I've written the Sid James last That was a good impression

32:20Declan Donnelly:Very good

32:21Ant McPartlin:I've written H-U Do we have any quotes of the day? Quotes of the day Oh we do The stage manager to me I don't know what I said But he said Hey pick on someone your own size Like a Subutio player Flick to kick It's rude isn't it? Chicky We'll have to bleep that. That was Portsmouth on the 2nd of April, 1994. Very good. Very good. I've got a question about it. Oh. Oh, I get it. Got a question that's flown in, been especially flown in from a listener.

32:56Declan Donnelly:A listener called, and a viewer called John. Hello, John. Hi, John. How much of an identity issue was it in the 90s when you had to be PJ and Duncan, a fictional music duo, when you were Ant and Dec, some decent actors, but soon to be great presenters. That's nice. Thanks, John. Listening to Dec's diary, I can't help but think there must have been some identity crises. Yes, there was.

33:20Ant McPartlin:Thoughts? Very much so. Because PJ and Duncan, for those that don't know, were our character names. Were they uneducated? Our character names in Biker Grove.

33:28Declan Donnelly:Yeah.

33:29Ant McPartlin:And the very last series of Biker Grove, we did a song in the show. We formed a band, did a song in the show. That was the storyline. And it was supposed to be that. it spun out and we had a music career. It all went a bit haywire and it didn't quite happen. And then it was off and then it was on, then it was off and then it was finally on again. So we released it as PG and Duncan, the song we did in the show. Didn't do very much, but then the record company said, well, we want another one and then we want another one. So we were still though PG and Duncan from the TV show, even though we weren't in the show anymore, we'd been written out, but we were still being referred to as PG and Duncan.

34:03Ant McPartlin:And then we started touring and doing like Europe, doing Germany and Sweden. And they were going, what is the name PJ and Duncan? And we're like, well, this is such a long, boring story.

34:14Declan Donnelly:And you won't get Byter Grove because nobody understood Byter Grove outside of the UK. So it was, yeah, there was a bit of an identity crisis, John. Thanks for bringing that up. It was only by the third album did we drop PJ and Duncan and we called ourselves Ant and Dec.

34:29Ant McPartlin:That was the last album we ever made.

34:31Declan Donnelly:It was. We sold a lot less of those albums than we did the PJ and Duncan album. But it was weird. It was weird because then ultimately you feel like you're playing a character on stage all the time, don't you? Which is, I think, part of how we kind of got through it and we enjoyed it and you could kind of enjoy it. At arm's length. At arm's length, yeah, and not get too wrapped up in it. Do you know what was really weird? When we used to tour Japan, we would always have to have a translator for the interviews. And we'd do interviews with radio stations and magazines and newspapers. us. And every now and again, they would speak in Japanese and they'd be speaking a load of Japanese words.

35:09Declan Donnelly:And they would, so what they would tend to do is describe you to the listener or the reader. And then you hear them going, Japanese, Japanese, Japanese, And they'd look at them like, Japanese, Japanese, Paulo McCartney. Japanese, Japanese, Japanese. I was like, what on earth? And I, did they say Paulo McCartney? And they're like, yeah, I think so. But we've got no, we, no one explained the context. And then we do the next one. And then the next day, when we do the interview, and then they would look at that and go, Japanese, Japanese, Japanese, Japanese, Japanese, Michael J. Fox. Japanese, Japanese, Japanese.

35:44Declan Donnelly:So I presume they're like saying he looks a bit like Paul McCartney, or he looks a bit like Michael J. Fox. But nobody explained it to us. So we're looking at the translator like, why, what, what is going on here? And they never said.

35:56Ant McPartlin:Nowadays, it would be Japanese, Japanese, Japanese, Andrew Scott.

36:03Declan Donnelly:Should we play it again? There's a play out. There's an outro. There's an outro? I thought you were just going to play it again. It was that good, Brett. Brett, you are. I would have listened to it again.

36:11Ant McPartlin:You're really spoiling us. Come on then. Dex Diary. Dex Diary. Little laugh, salad. Seeky stories. Dex Diary.

36:28Declan Donnelly:Dex Diary. Dex Diary. Oh, again, an assault on the senses.

36:37Ant McPartlin:A sheer assault on my head. I liked it. It sounded sunny.

36:41Declan Donnelly:Very good. Very good. Well done. Well done, Brent. Well done. Time for the postmark. We've had lots more correspondence. Shall we? I see.

36:49Ant McPartlin:It's over there.

36:50Declan Donnelly:Are we going to do the... Yeah, but we can't sing it.

36:53Ant McPartlin:Can we do a David Brent?

36:55Declan Donnelly:Go on, then. It's time for the postmark.

37:19Declan Donnelly:Well, okay. That's what we don't get sued. Bring it in the postbag, please. Help her.

37:28Ant McPartlin:Right, here it is.

37:30Declan Donnelly:We've got... I have to say, I am loving how much you're loving the podcast. It's true. Who, me? Not you. You lot out there. That's just it, I ask. Like we said, we're a nervous start. I know we've talked about this before, but it's really taken off now. We're getting stopped a lot on the street by people talking to us about the content, what we're talking about.

37:49Ant McPartlin:I've been shut down an awful lot. Shut down? Yeah, people are just like, I'm asking more questions. They're like, yeah, yeah, I've got places to be.

37:56Declan Donnelly:Sorry, mate, I'm late. Right, I've got one from Adam. Hey, Atten Deck. With so many celebrities on Chums, who was your favourite or not so favourite celebrity appearance? And do you have any funny stories from Chums? Loved Chubs. I presume that's meant to say Chums. SMT and the podcast. Loved Chubs. Is that something you did separately? Chubs? I don't know. He means Chums.

38:20Ant McPartlin:Respect, guys. Can I just take you back to the very, very, very beginning? Of what? Time? Chums. Of Chums. Yes. Do you remember the first couple of celebs we had on there was Tom Jones? Yes. He came on. Sting. And Sting. Yeah. And they kind of set the bar because they were like huge pop stars, global pop stars. Yeah. And they came on and did Chubbs, right? It's like the very beginning. So whenever we had a guest, they'd go like, will you do Chubbs? They're like, what's that? We're like, it's the sketch bit that we do. Tom Jones has done it and Sting. They go, oh, okay, I'll do it. They couldn't say no.

38:54Ant McPartlin:So they set the bar so high.

38:56Declan Donnelly:We did have one actress who I won't mention her name, but she was a Hollywood star and she turned up and she was due to being chums. And she was not, she was not all there. She was not all there. She wasn't all there. Let's face it. She'd been out in London on a Friday night and turned up, still act like it was a Friday night on a Saturday morning. And we had to do the rehearsals and we were always rehearsing on a Friday without the celebrity. And then we do a quick rehearsal Saturday before the show started. So the slew was up to speed before the show went out live. And it was just awful.

39:30Ant McPartlin:There was no way.

39:32Declan Donnelly:We can't do this. We can't do this live. This could be the end of Chums. And it could be really bad for us. So thankfully, watching the show that week, just as a spectator. With her daughters. With her daughters, was Carol Vorderman. So we said to this actress, stay in your dressing room. We'll call you when you're due to come down. We never called her. We just left her in the dressing room.

39:56Ant McPartlin:And we made sure the person who was looking after her turned the TV over and put on BBC One. Yeah. So she was watching live and kicking.

40:03Declan Donnelly:Yeah, she was watching Zoe Ball and Jamie Thiexton.

40:05Ant McPartlin:So she didn't see the sketch, which was supposed to be featuring her.

40:09Declan Donnelly:But featuring Carol Vorderman. So Carol Vorderman literally had no rehearsals. She brought herself up to speed when we were doing other things. And the first time we'd done it with Carol was live and it was brilliant. She was absolutely fantastic.

40:22Ant McPartlin:Then we just all left. as far as we know the actress is still in the dressing room

40:26Declan Donnelly:she's still there so there you go do you like that Adam do you like that kind of Chubbs story Chubbs backstories any more Chubbs stuff get in touch you did have some huge people on Chums though we did have some good stars yeah really good we loved it that's wild so fun really good

40:46Ant McPartlin:come on dear aunt this is from Lois hi Lois I could tell how upset you were for your name to be demoted to a middle name a couple of episodes ago. Yes. I'm not currently expecting a human child, but we did have a male lamb born on our farm last week. So just for you, we are going to name him Ant. Oh, is that him? He is handsome. Please see picture attached. He is handsome. With love from Portugal. Oh, that is wonderful.

41:13Declan Donnelly:Isn't he lovely? Hello, lamby ant. Hello, lamby ant from human ant. Hello, baby. Hello, baby. Hello, baby. He is gorgeous. He's like a brown colour With little flecks of white in there I presume that they go whiter as they get older What a gorgeous little lamb Baby Tony It's not Baby Tony, Fiona That's great, thank you so much And that has really made things better Since I was demoted to a middle name I am now a full on, full name, lamb name Next letter Yes Hey guys Back when I was 15, 29 years ago

41:49Ant McPartlin:So he's now 44

41:50Declan Donnelly:I won a competition on the Big Breakfast which was hosted that week by yourselves and Melanie Sykes wow that's right we did host it with Melanie Sykes I won a set of GCSE revision guides in the same photo of you both in brackets and Melanie the books arrived two weeks after I did my exams

42:16Ant McPartlin:what a terrible prize to win I'm being Don't even think of

42:32Declan Donnelly:Good God Good God Oh my God I'm so sorry Mike He says respect guys Is that the end of the story? Oh no he passed his exams He passed Luckily Luckily I managed to pass my exams Respect guys

42:52Declan Donnelly:It's a terrible price Terrible And then for that price It'd be delivered late It's even worse

42:58Ant McPartlin:We had fun times Doing the big breakfast Oh we had really good times Doing the big breakfast Apart from the ones We said yes For some reason To host it In the Easter holidays Do you remember that? The bigger breakfast The bigger breakfast And it went on from Seven in the morning Until half past twelve In the afternoon When it passed nine o 'clock They would do Acquired materials So it would be like Saved by the Bell or all those kind of American teen stuff. So we'd just have 25 minutes where we'd just sit there going, I'm so tired. I'm so tired. And then we'd wake up and do a link and then go, I'm so tired.

43:27Declan Donnelly:Wasn't that a great episode of Saved by the Bell? Join us after the break.

43:30Ant McPartlin:Oh my God. And then at the very end of the show, we would do a game in the garden out at the Big Breakfast, which was Easter Bungie, where everybody was tied to bungee ropes and they had to run and grab eggs and it was callers on the line. Yeah, it was a tennis game

43:45Declan Donnelly:that we played once

43:46Ant McPartlin:and the caller and the caller and the caller and they go how many eggs do you think they're going to grab in 30 seconds and they go I think they're going to get 6 and they go ok on line 2 how many do you think so we're in the garden we're doing this and we're knackered we're absolutely exhausted we've been on air since 7 in the morning and they go and the bungee is still running and the bungee is bringing them back and it's chaos in the garden and somebody runs out of the French doors and they go guys stop stop

44:09Declan Donnelly:stop the game and we're like oh my god we're live on air here who's that this is very Channel 4 and zany. We're not on air. We're like, what?

44:20Ant McPartlin:We're not on air. We haven't been on air for 20 minutes. Well, how come? And because the show went until 12.30, but whoever booked the satellite thought it was on until 12. And the satellite just ran out at 12 o 'clock. They switched the satellite off. So we'd been broadcasting for 20 minutes, doing the show with callers and this, and it wasn't going out on air.

44:41Declan Donnelly:We're there, promising revision guides to everybody. who won the game in the garden and we weren't even on there. So we're like, stop, stop, stop. Everybody in. So immediately like, oh God, I'm even more tired now. Yeah, that was the big breakfast for you. But apart from that, it was fun to do. It's chaos. And then they offered us the job to present it full time. And we said no. Twice. Can you believe it? Bad, isn't it? Arrogance of youth. no but you know it all worked out for the best because Johnny and Denise Johnny Vaughan and Denise Van Outen they went on to host it and were brilliant at it and we then ended up on SMTV Live

45:22Ant McPartlin:that's all we've got time for today but we are back on Monday with another rep please do join us for that good one is it a good one let's hope it's a good one I'm sure it will be yeah it will be aren't they all thank you very much

45:32Declan Donnelly:for watching for listening please keep everything

45:35Ant McPartlin:coming in hanging out at beltabox.com yes just talked over me and That's it. See you next time. Until then, respect, guys. Respect, guys. See you later.

45:47Declan Donnelly:See you later.