Dec Tattoos Ant - It’s T-Day!!

8:01Ant McPartlin:Is Cornwall a long drive though? It is long. What was it? Well, we got there in about four and a half hours. That's not bad. Which wasn't bad. Hit some traffic on the way back. Six hours. Oh, I see. And you know what it's like Like those holidays. It took me less than that to get to Portugal. Yeah. And the thing is, the drive to your holiday, you don't mind it being a bit longer because you're going on holiday when you just want to get back. And you've got loads of dirty washing in the back. And you've got all your stuff. And you've stolen sandwiches. And you've stolen some food from M &S. And we had the really sad news last week that Dolly Parton had passed away.

8:34Ant McPartlin:Passed away, yeah. Really, really sad. And that reminded me of, actually, those drives when I was a kid because the drive up to Stranraar to get the boat to Larn. You drive from Newcastle? We drive from Newcastle to Stranraar, which is in kind of the northwest of Scotland. Yeah. We get on the boat there over to Larn. And we always had Dolly Parton on the cassette player. Really? Yes. We'd always have a bit of Jolene. We always had loads of...

8:57Declan Donnelly:My mum loved Dolly Parton. Oh, she was brilliant. Oh, my God. She was always on in our house growing up.

9:03Ant McPartlin:Yeah. She was so brilliant, though. Yeah, she was. As a performer, as a songwriter, she was just incredible. And she was kind of one of those figures of my childhood that she was always on in our house. So it's another one of those people that they pass on and they really kind of affect you.

9:23Declan Donnelly:And it makes you think because it puts you back to times in your life where you remember seeing her or listening to her and watching her.

9:30Ant McPartlin:Yeah, an incredible lady. Sad news. Really sad. R.I.P. Dolly. How have you been?

9:37Declan Donnelly:Yeah, good. Some have been fun? It has been fun. I've said it before on this pod. It's tiring, isn't it? It's tiring. And do you know what is? I'm knackered. I've got a 20-year-old, 18-year-old, and a two-and-a-half-year-old. And that age gap, that's tough to holiday. That's a tough holiday.

9:56Ant McPartlin:The older ones are going out at night. The older ones are going out.

9:58Declan Donnelly:The little ones getting up early in the morning. Getting up early. Wow. So you can't help, but even though you go to bed, as parents of, you know, teenagers and 20 somethings, you go like, yeah, enjoy yourself, you know, be safe, be responsible. You've still got an eye on your phone. You know, there was a couple of times where I had to get out of bed and jump in the car and go and pick them up as well. Of course. And then get up with him in the morning. So, yeah, to anyone who is listening, who's got that age gap with their kids, it's knackering, isn't it? It's bloody, it's knackering enough with a two and a half year old, but when you've got teenagers, there's plenty of something stored in the mix.

10:35Declan Donnelly:Jeez.

10:36Ant McPartlin:I was going to say, is it like, is that all parents? Just all parents are frazzled during the summer holidays? Yeah, I think so.

10:43Declan Donnelly:Yeah. I don't think we get to the end of the summer holidays and go, oh, I'm well rested. I feel great.

10:49Ant McPartlin:You said it to me last night, like, I can't wait to go back to work for a rest.

10:52Declan Donnelly:It's true, though, isn't it? It is a bit of that. Yeah. It is a bit of that. We went, so we went to Portugal for our summer holidays and me, on our wedding anniversary, me and my wife went to Lisbon for a weekend. We thought, do you know what? we're going to do it. Everybody stayed in the villa, all the rest of the family, and we're only a couple of hours away. What a cool city. Was it? It's one of the best places I've ever been to. I've never been to Brisbane. Oh, it's amazing. All the shops are really cool. Great coffee shops, good art, good like food markets. They've got like a Christ the Redeemer statue, like a smaller version.

11:26Declan Donnelly:And what looks like the Golden Gate Bridge, doesn't it? Have you ever been? It is, I loved it. And we're like, oh, isn't this nice? Just us two. We're in a nice time. I had a little bit of a lie in till eight o 'clock in the morning on Saturday. Woo, can you believe it? Sexy and nice. And then done just nice, lovely anniversary style stuff. I'll leave that up to your imagination. And then it got to... Please don't.

11:50Ant McPartlin:My imagination is now running wild.

11:53Declan Donnelly:It's a good image though, right? So we'd stayed the Friday night, went out for dinner. I had barnacles on toast. Shut up.

12:00Ant McPartlin:I did? You did not.

12:01Declan Donnelly:I swear to God I did. The guy came up. So we're sat on this rooftop restaurant, right? And the view was that small Christ the Redeemer statue in this, what looked like the Golden Gate Bridge. And you've got the river there. And the sun was going down, the most beautiful setting. And it was a fish restaurant. And he said, the special today are, and he said it in Portuguese. And I said, what is that in English? He went, I think it is barnacles. I mean, barnacles on toast. And barnacles on toast. Go on then, I'll try it. Tremendous. What do barnacles taste like? They taste like a mushroom. No, they don't just say chicken.

12:36Declan Donnelly:Like a mushroom, but like a soy mushroom. A soggy. Soy, like a soy sauce. Soy. Soy. So that's Madison. Soy. Soy. I thought you said soggy. Soy. Soy. Soggy. Soy. Soy. Soy. Soy. Soy. Soy. Soy. What are you saying? Soy. Why are you going soy like that? Why do you have to say it in the mouth? How do you say soy?

13:00Ant McPartlin:Soy.

13:01Declan Donnelly:Yeah, they say it like that because they're southerners. soy soy sauce soy sauce I'm not sorry soy sauce anyway back to I had barnacles on toast which was tremendous what would you rate them in bananas I would rate them out of eight seven okay they were that good and what would you rate them out of barnacles well what do you rate I don't know what the world record is for eating barnacles I don't know

13:28Ant McPartlin:I wish you could ask willy nilly about that

13:30Declan Donnelly:is there a barnacle eating that would be a lot because they're quick quick and easy what do they look like my point was I've had me soy sauce tasting barnacles I'm sorry the next day we spent all day shopping went to this lovely food market and then even though we moaned about being tired we went home early because we missed the kids oh kids doesn't help your sadness though does it no it doesn't you're like oh we could we could stay another night but we could just drive home because we missed the kids oh I'm sorry I swear to god Pixelate that Pixelate that Pixelate that Sorry sauce Ow Ah good Ha ha An aeroplane just flown in And hit deck right in the arm And you deserved it

14:14Ant McPartlin:What do you say Sorry Oh sorry Yeah thank you I've got an aeroplane just flown in here From the direction of Heckler's Corner Oh do you remember we played Holiday Bingo Yes In our holiday shows I want to talk about that Well, we had one holiday bingo email that really tickled us. It says, hi, Andec. Isla here. Not my Isla, I don't think. You mentioned meeting people from your hometown while on holiday. Well, I was at a F1 Grand Prix in Singapore in a crowd of 300 ,000 people. And who happened to be in the same stand several seats away? Chris Hemsworth. No, her ex. No way. Isla's ex. She hadn't seen him for 35 years.

15:00Ant McPartlin:and to be honest I was not in a rush to meet and greet him ever again oh that is so unfortunate 300 ,000 people and your ex is in there

15:08Declan Donnelly:no thank you that's a rotten bit of luck that is I've got a holiday bingo though you know we said one of them was injuries holiday injury oh yeah and do you remember at the end of one of the pods that we did on holiday oh I fell over the chair

15:23Ant McPartlin:you kicked did you fall over or kick something I kicked the chair then fell over that's right yes remember that great moment Got a lot of retention online.

15:31Declan Donnelly:That was five weeks ago, four weeks ago. Have a look at this. Right. Go on. Taking off my shoe. Yeah. Have a look at my toe. Second toe.

15:39Ant McPartlin:Oh my God. What's happened there? Oh, put it away. That is rotten. It's not rotten.

15:48Declan Donnelly:It's broken. No, that's bad. It's bad, isn't it? So I saw someone and went, it's definitely broken. There's not a lot you can do about it because you've got to keep hitting it. Try and strap it up. So I strapped it up. But I strapped it up. I kept hitting it more because it was like strapped and protruded more. Yeah. So I just kept, I thought, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me the strapping is making it worse. Right. So I've unstrapped it and now it's just loose. So you're just going to have an eternal broken toe. But look how fat it is. It's really fat. It's like a little chip of a lot of sausage.

16:19Declan Donnelly:It's never, I mean, I'm not getting this out on camera because I don't want Wikifeet to make money off my rate and we'll go down, that's right. Finally, I might overtake him. I don't want Deke to beat me. But look how fat it is. It is a fat little sausage though, isn't it? What a little chip-alouda that is. It really is. I don't know what to do. I've just got to leave it now. Your feet are nice and brown though. Yeah, thanks. They're nice brown feet. I like a tan foot, don't you? Yeah, it's good. It looks nice. It says, I've been on holiday.

16:46Ant McPartlin:Ah! In comes another paper plane from Heckler's Corner. I tried to catch it.

16:50Declan Donnelly:I didn't catch it. Oh, look at this one. Oh, I've ripped it. Sorry, guys. Oh, sorry. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Sorry, it's been a couple of weeks. Hey guys and gals Hey Hey Myself and my husband Dan With son Todd Went on our first ever cruise For a holiday this week To the Norwegian fjords Oh lovely I'd love to do that And I thought What better That's me saying that by the way In brackets I'd love to do that Ever been Back to them Never been Love to go I went Been to Norway As a kid I'll tell you this I'll tell you this Your auntie Birrit Birrit Aunty Birrit Who wasn't my auntie It was his mum's friend Yeah a mum's friend Anyway, back to the letter.

17:30Declan Donnelly:I thought what better opportunity than with a ship holding 8 ,000 people to do some guerrilla marketing. Great idea, Barrett. So, this is not working. I proudly made a magnet to stick on our door for all to see. Keep doing what you're doing, you silly gooses. Love and respect, Sarah. That is brilliant, Sarah. That is brilliant. So that's her room. Oh my God, there's a lot of rooms on that ship, isn't there?

17:58Ant McPartlin:8 ,000 people?

17:59Declan Donnelly:8 ,000. That's room 14 ,623. Wow. Wow. 14 ,000. Look, it says 14.623. Hi, I'm in room 14 ,632.

18:12Ant McPartlin:Can I take your room number?

18:13Declan Donnelly:How long will that room service be? Seven hours? Got another one here. Hi, guys. Hi. Hi, Heckless Corner 2. Hey. Hey. Sasha and Ian from Dumfries here. Hi, Sasha. As we are at the Kendall Carlin Festival, I thought it was a perfect opportunity to advertise the pod. I created a poster and I pegged it to the back of the chairs. Respect, guys, Sasha.

18:41Ant McPartlin:That is brilliant. That is exactly what she's done. She's got a poster there and it's pegged to the back of a camping chair at the festival. Exactly what it says on the table. Yeah.

18:49Declan Donnelly:Do you know, but that's exactly the kind of guerrilla marketing I was hoping for when we asked you to do it. Yes. Weeks ago. Well done Ian and Sasha. That's good. Very good. Final one here. Hi, I'm Dec and Heggler's Corner. Hey. Hey. We watch podcasts every week and we thought that while we were on a family holiday in Ibiza, we would print out some pictures to leave about the resort to do some advertising for you. Picture is my son Josh, my sister Emma and my nephew Harrison. Oh. That's brilliant. Well done guys. Ibiza. Ibiza knows who we are. Let's get there. We have reached Ibiza. Yes. That's brilliant.

19:30Declan Donnelly:Well done, guys. Very good guerrilla marketing. And a bonus side story for you. My husband and I were in the audience of the Ant & Deck Shore, only a few seats apart, before we had even met. No. What? I was there with a group of my friends as our band founder was the barber on Beat the Barber. My husband Steve was there with his friend, who was the last ever contestant on Beat the Barber. Never. We only realised a few years after being together that we'd been there at the same time. Isn't that amazing? That's Jane from Brentwood, Essex. That is brilliant. And spooky. Very spooky. What a small world.

20:09Ant McPartlin:You never know, do you? You don't know. You never, ever know. Anything. What's going to happen next?

20:16Declan Donnelly:You never know anything.

20:18Ant McPartlin:And that's how I like it. Brilliant. Thanks for that. Thanks for all your guerrilla marketing. if you've done any others over the summer please let us know belterbox at thingythingy.com hanging out at belterbox.com it's been a while since I've said that it's been a minute

20:35Declan Donnelly:please when you do do something nothing criminal like deck eating sandwiches make sure it's all above board but get your pictures in because we can't wait to see it and it's not just a summer thing no this gorilla marketing can continue absolutely carry it on listen to the heartbeat Chevy is called the heartbeat of America for a reason. With SUVs made to move with your rhythm. The versatile Equinox tackles your entire day. The spacious Traverse fits your crew and your whole weekend. And Trax brings style with value you can count on. All infused with tech that has your back. So your drive always hits the right chord.

21:17Declan Donnelly:Chevrolet. Together let's drive. Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu is now streaming on Disney+. What are you waiting for? Hop on. The must-see galactic adventure comes home on Disney+. This is the way. Our only chance is to work together. I like this kid. Always wear your seatbelt. Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu, now streaming on Disney+. Read PG-13.

21:52Declan Donnelly:Right, can we reveal your tattoo yet? Not yet. Why? Well, we're going to wait. What I'm excited is anyone knows when you've had a tattoo, you can't wait to show long.

21:59Ant McPartlin:Yeah.

22:00Declan Donnelly:Of course you can't.

22:01Ant McPartlin:Before we get there, though. There with me on. What do you mean before we get there? We've had lots of letters from people. Boring. How do? He doesn't mean that.

22:11Declan Donnelly:Other people? What are you on about?

22:12Ant McPartlin:Sorry, guys, he doesn't mean that. Go on. A lot of other people have been writing to us about their tattoos. Oh, come on. In the post bag. So let me see the post bag.

22:20Declan Donnelly:Good. At least it's about tattoos. It's tattoo themed. Something I like to talk about. So here we go. Here's a bunch of letters from the post bag. Do you want to go first? I can do, yes. Go on then. Okay. Hi, guys. Hey. My name is Brooklyn. Oh, Brooklyn. Brooklyn back and miss it. He's got loads of tattoos. I've just turned 18. So I got this tattoo to celebrate, but it didn't turn out so good. Uh-oh. I'm a huge Michael Jackson fan and have been since I was a baby. So I thought a tattoo surrounding his music would be cool and meaningful to me.

23:05Declan Donnelly:It says, who's bad? I'll tell you what's bad, that tattoo. What the hell? Oh, that's awful. That looks like marker pen. Safe to say I'm disappointed. and now I have to pay someone else to fix it. All this gave you a giggle. It certainly did. From Brooke. Have a great day, Brooke. Right back at you. It says, who's bad? And the who's is in black, ink.

23:31Ant McPartlin:The B and the D from bad is in red. And the A is Michael Jackson's legs. Doing the moonwalk. Doing the moonwalk. Or doing like a little tiptoe dance. So he's got his loafers on.

23:43Declan Donnelly:White socks and black trousers. I like the fact that you can see one of her moulds which looks like Michael Jackson's got a dirty sock

23:55Ant McPartlin:he spilled a bit of

23:56Declan Donnelly:coffee on his socks

23:59Ant McPartlin:it's a nice tattoo

24:01Declan Donnelly:it's not it's not what are you talking about it's awful it's a fail that is a tattoo fail

24:06Ant McPartlin:if it was in 1989 nah nah nah nah that's bad

24:12Declan Donnelly:who's bad you're bad

24:13Ant McPartlin:that's bad Oh, that was great. Thank you. Thanks, Brooke. Thank you, Brooklyn. More, more, more, more. Hi, Andec. Michelle here. Hi, Michelle. In 1999, when I was 17, tattoos were all about Disney characters. Were they? Or. Were they, though? Or words in other languages. Okay, I remember that trend. I was asked by a local beauty therapist if I would like a free temporary tattoo if I'd be the model at a demo for her to advertise her business. Right. She explained that a temporary tattoo lasted for seven years. What? As we lose a layer of skin every year. And it was a new thing out.

24:58Declan Donnelly:What on earth? And she fell for this?

25:00Ant McPartlin:I was like, yeah, go on then. It's only on my body for seven years. So I decided on a Tigger design from Winnie the Pooh on my tummy.

25:09Declan Donnelly:What?

25:10Ant McPartlin:What an idiot. That's what she says, not me. Right, okay, good. I am currently 44 years old and Tigger is still as orange as the day I was inked. Safe to say temporary tattoos don't exist. Epic fail and literally scarred for life. Respect, guys. Michelle, and she's given us a picture of said Tigger.

25:32Declan Donnelly:What the hell? I mean, it's not faded, but it's definitely blurred over the last however many years. You can't even tell what that is. You can't tell it's Tigger. I mean, she was probably lying in the tattooist when she said it was temporary.

25:47Ant McPartlin:Yeah, Michelle, I think you're going to have to lose a few more layers of skin before you get rid of that. Yeah, you need a brittle pad on that, my love. It's not happening. What a shame. I'm so sorry, Michelle. So sorry.

25:59Declan Donnelly:Stop it! Another one. I love these. Let's do it every week. Hi, Ant and Dec. I got married on the 15th of April, 2017. Congratulations. Yay! Oh, 2017. And decided it would be a cute idea for me and my husband to get our wedding day tattooed on our ring fingers. I've just had that done. Have you? I've just had my wife's initial tattooed on my wedding finger and she had the same. Nicer. She had her initial on her wedding finger. We both got the same initial. Oh, yeah, that's true. Luckily. He also got it done and it looked great. I, on the other hand, didn't have the same success. I even said to the tattoo artist, it's so on the zero and still never noticed it was the wrong year.

26:42Declan Donnelly:What? Oh no 2007 instead of 2017 Oh No way 10 years earlier So now I rock around with a random date on my finger That means absolutely nothing to nobody From Julie Murphy Oh my god that's terrible So they obviously didn't have the same tattooist Surely they did Well how come his was the same? Oh, yeah, I don't know. There's so many questions, Julia, I need to ask. I want to get you on the phone. Can somebody tie anything to this date?

27:20Ant McPartlin:If anybody out there knows of anything noteworthy that happened on the 15th of April, 2007, let us know and we'll let... We'll let Julie Murphy know. We'll let Julie know. And then at least it'll have some significance.

27:30Declan Donnelly:I just don't get it. I don't get how the tattooists would do two different dates. Yeah. So they must have got them done at separate tattoo studios, parlours.

27:39Ant McPartlin:Hi, Ant and Dec and hecklers. Hi. Hi. Fellow Geordie here Back in 2004 I went to get two tattoos The first one Perfect No problems at all Great Then Came the second one I wanted four letters On the back of my arm L O M L

28:00Declan Donnelly:L-O-M-M L-O-M-what L L-O-M-L

28:05Ant McPartlin:Anybody know what that stands for?

28:06Declan Donnelly:Love of my life

28:07Ant McPartlin:Love of my life I didn't know that How could that possibly go wrong. The artist sketched it on me. I checked it in the mirror. Dangerous. Yeah, it's dangerous. Because it was four letters, I didn't check the spelling. I just checked the sizing and where it was placed. Gave him the okay and he got started. When he finished, he took a photo and said he'd send it to me. So I paid and left. I was sat in Burger King with my friend when the photo arrived and there it was the wrong way round. He put L L-O-L-M LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL How did I miss it? When people ask what it means, I have to try and create a different meaning to the original one.

28:56Ant McPartlin:So the moral of the story is always check your tattoo, even if it's only letters or a picture. Thanks, guys. Amy Nugent. Duh. Thanks, Amy. Thanks, Amy. What could LOLM stand for? Lots of love.

29:08Declan Donnelly:Motherf**k. Ha ha. That's it, yeah. That's it. That's it. Right, thank you for those tattoo fails. We should do more of them. If you've got any more tattoo fails, please send them in because they really do make me laugh. Is it time to reveal the tat? Well, I think we should get that tombola out. Oh, for God's sake.

29:31Ant McPartlin:Should we just do a quick tattoo tombola first? Why? Let's do a tattoo tombola. Oh, why?

29:36Declan Donnelly:Why? Mum, stop waiting for this. What are you getting the bloody tombola machine off for? We're going to have a quick round. Jesus Christ. Get to what people want to see. Of tattoo tombola. We've got to show VT. There's a VT of the tattoo happening, which we're going to show in a minute. You don't need this rattling away in your ear holes.

29:53Ant McPartlin:This is like the FA Cup in the 80s. You know, the build-up for the game. Yeah, like a seven-hour build-up. Right.

30:04Declan Donnelly:Tattoo number 62. Number 62. What is this? And. What? What was your first ever tattoo? Oh, God. It's like questions, like proper questions. Tattoo Tombola. TT. My first ever tattoo was this one on my wrist, which was S, which is S and H, which means sober and healthy because I was sober and healthy. And yeah, I quite liked the font of that. So that was the first one. Then I got hooked. Hooked on tattoos.

30:35Ant McPartlin:What was it that kind of flicked the switch for you? because you were quite against tattoos in your mid-20s. Yes, from which you've seen. Which you've seen. We did an episode of Late Lunch, which I think we saw a few weeks ago on the pod. And your sister got one and you were very happy about it on Late Lunch.

30:53Declan Donnelly:You know, she had Casper the Ghost. And that hasn't aged well. She won't mind me saying that on here. I'll get a picture of it. It's a bit like Tigger. It's bled. Well, I don't know. Maybe I just saw more people. it was more socially acceptable for people to have tattoos. And everyone suddenly started getting them. And I was just like, I'd like something to mark my sobriety date. But I don't want to put the date on there because you never know. Yeah, yeah. Tempting fate, you know. Thankfully, it was all good. And I got S and H from my wrist and I really enjoyed it. And it wasn't that painful.

31:30Ant McPartlin:Another little TT. Oh, here we go. Number 14.

31:35Declan Donnelly:Number 14. Is play the VT. Deck, could you chat us through, you're a qualified tattoo artist, aren't you?

31:43Ant McPartlin:I am now, yes. No, he's not.

31:45Declan Donnelly:No, he's not.

31:45Ant McPartlin:Talk to us through some of your training and how you got into it. He's not. He's not. I qualified very, very recently. Last night. As last night. But I have had a full training session. I trained on a banana. Of all things. I got a banana and started tattooing it. so that's some of my early training work this will probably go

32:07Declan Donnelly:hold on just explain what you've done you've done your you've done a D I've done a D well you start off with a square I start off with a square that's deep look how deep the square is look how much you've dug into the skin poor banana

32:22Ant McPartlin:so I did a square to start with and I did a star and then I just did a lot of D's a lot of D's fold a lot of D's D, D, D, D, D, D, D. A do da da. So I did a lot of my own initial. That was my initial training.

32:45Declan Donnelly:Well, you see in a minute, he rocked up at mine, practised on a banana and then tattooed me.

32:53Ant McPartlin:And the result is incredible. Well, let's just have one more question in the tombola. Why? We don't need one more question.

33:00Declan Donnelly:We don't need one more question. Let's just get to the VT. Stop with it. Right, let's just show the VT. It's been over six months since I agreed to do this. To mark six months of the podcast. To mark six months of the pod. We've been on longer than that. But here it is. It was designed by Holly Luff. So thank you, Holly. You inspired the original design.

33:24Ant McPartlin:Thank you to everybody who sent in designs. Yeah, we did have very good designs. Especially the golfer on the belly button, which I really fought for until the last minute. It didn't quite make it there.

33:32Declan Donnelly:Unfortunately, it didn't win. But thanks for all of your designs. We'll find out what the winning design was in a minute. But first, here it is, being inked onto my skin with a surprise visitor. So today is T-Day, Tattoo Day. The guys are setting up over there. Have a look. I've set the lighting. The mood is nice. I feel very calm, very zen. I haven't told Dec because I don't want him getting in the way and just like fussing around because he's a warrior and he doesn't like needles. And he'll probably faint. So it's just me, the guys, tattoo, donuts. It's all cool. Lola, Lola, I'm very excited, come on.

34:15Declan Donnelly:Would you like a cream bun? Would you like a donut? Would you like a donut? Yeah. There you go.

34:22Ant McPartlin:No problem. So it's tea day and it's happening and I am being invited. But guess what? I've come along anyway because I've been in touch with the artist. So I knew it was happening tonight. So I'm just going to pay a little visit. Okay, here we go. Holly, this is your design.

34:44Declan Donnelly:This is your fault. Hope you're proud. Let's go. I won't move. You talk when you tattoo or is it off-putting? Yeah, but not too much. Yeah, of course, I'll be quiet. I'm one of... I'm one of the... I'm one of the live chatters. Don't feel like you've got to answer back. Ah, the summer's nearly over though. Isn't it? The nights are closing in and... the leaves are coming off the trees. Don't make me laugh, Lola. Don't you laugh? Stop it! Jeez! You're doing what the heck? So, the enormity of what's going on has just finally dawned on me now. The fact that we started this as a joke, that to celebrate six months of the pod, I was going to get a tattoo.

35:31Declan Donnelly:A tattoo that will last forever. Oh God, it looks good.

35:36Ant McPartlin:Is Deck going to have to do something?

35:37Declan Donnelly:Yeah, Deck is going to have to do something. If I'm doing this, this, which will be on my body for the rest of my life, what's he going to do? Huh? Read a diary? I mean, oh well. But you can't feel that needle, can you, really? Take them, dog. What's going on here then? T-D is it without me? What the hell are you doing here? T-D without me? Yes, without you. You're not getting a tattoo. Look at that. How did you get in? How did you get in? You've left the back door open. Shut up. Did you come all the way here just to watch this? Yes. Well, that's very kind of you. Good. Now, chill. It's zen. Okay?

36:14Declan Donnelly:It's nice, isn't it? Does it hurt? No, it doesn't hurt, actually. She's very gentle. She's excellent at what she does. I wanted to be here to see it. Do you like it?

36:23Ant McPartlin:I love it. Good. And also to see if I could maybe have a little go. What do you mean? Are you going to get one? No, I'll have a little go on you. Have a tattoo? Shut up. Can I do a bit? What are you on about, can you do a bit? He can't do a bit, can he? What do you mean, yes? I can. She said yes. What do you mean, yes? I didn't expect her to say yes.

36:44Declan Donnelly:I expected her to say no. You're going to tattoo me? A little bit. Can I do a little bit? Yeah. No, but what are you asking her for? If it's my body, she'd say to me, can I do a little bit? Can I do a little bit? Yeah, go on then. Can I? Yeah, Jonu. Yeah.

36:58Ant McPartlin:Oh. Right, concentrate. I'll go and wash my hands. Do I have to put scrubs on and stuff? Yes, be clean. I'll go and wash my hands. You dirty boy. And how do you feel that Dex is going to be? Well, first of all, you're in cahoots.

37:13Declan Donnelly:You've all been in touch with him, which I'm not happy about, because this was my day. Tea Day was Ant's Day, not Dex Day. Now he's getting involved. Oh, here it is. From before. Oh, he's got gloves on. New pants. He's got gloves on. And you're dressed in black. There's something really weird about, something quite sinister about this. What the hell? This, what am I doing? See what I mean? You can't even sit on this seat. That's funny. And you want to tattoo me on?

37:41Ant McPartlin:No, will I need my glasses or I'll just give it...

37:43Declan Donnelly:No, you need your glasses and get that on. He's even struggling with a glove. What am I doing, Juan? You do look like a sinister surgeon. What? How do these work? Dude.

37:59Ant McPartlin:Have you practised? I have a... I have a little go. On who? A banana. A banana?! I've practised on a banana. I have had a go on a banana, so I'm fully qualified now.

38:16Ant McPartlin:I've been in contact with the artist. I've been talking through it. I know what I'm doing. Why do you want to do it? Just to be involved?

38:24Declan Donnelly:To be involved. Do you feel left out? Yes. Oh, my God. Right, right, right. Concentrate.

38:31Ant McPartlin:I'm concentrating.

38:32Declan Donnelly:Concentrate. This is serious. Oh, my God. Is this it? Right. Do I stretch it? Stretch what? My arm.

38:40Ant McPartlin:Yeah.

38:41Declan Donnelly:No, no, no. Tell me if this hurts.

38:44Ant McPartlin:Okay.

38:51Declan Donnelly:Are you done? Are you done? Nearly. There's a lot of tongue action that you see out of the corner of the eye. You're not going to lick it, are you? Because that's unhygienic.

39:04Ant McPartlin:There we go. There we go. Wow. There I was. There was a lot of tongue action, wasn't there? A lot of tongue action. More than I realised.

39:10Declan Donnelly:That was really off-putting.

39:12Ant McPartlin:That was more than I realised. It's probably a good time now to confess that I was wearing my wrong glasses. What? I didn't have the right glasses yesterday. What do you mean? I should have been reading glasses so I can see properly. Well, what were they? They're these, which are me very focused, which means I can... Jesus, really? I brought the wrong glasses. No wonder. So I couldn't see brilliantly. But you've left your mark.

39:33Declan Donnelly:You've left your mark on me.

39:34Ant McPartlin:I certainly did leave my mark. Forever.

39:37Declan Donnelly:Forever. Can we have a look at it? Unless it's one of those temporary ones that only lasts seven years. Seven years. So here, you've seen the process. It's been a long time building up to it.

39:46Ant McPartlin:Take it off. Take it off. Take it off.

39:49Declan Donnelly:Take it off. All right, here we go. So, okay, ready?

39:53Ant McPartlin:Ready?

39:54Declan Donnelly:Ready. There you go. There we go. Here we go. There it is. That's it there. I love it. Angel of the North in the start with Little D's Little D. Yay! Got me Little D in there. Your bit's the most painful, by the way. Was it? Your bit's the most painful. Yeah. Really dog dick. Yeah. It's nice, isn't it?

40:14Ant McPartlin:It's really nice. I love it.

40:16Declan Donnelly:There's your little D. Yay! Little D. Did a little D on me arm. Yeah, have a little closer over there. Let's get a good shot of it. Looks good though, right? Very good. Thank you, Holly Luff, for your original design. Brilliant design. It's a very nice tattoo. The Angel of the North in a store with... Little D. Little D's little D in the corner. There you are. That's mad. It is mad. That's going to be there forever now. All because of you guys. Yeah. So I've learned a big lesson here. If you say it on the pod, you've got to do it.

40:50Ant McPartlin:Yeah.

40:51Declan Donnelly:So be careful what you say on the pod.

40:53Ant McPartlin:I think to mark a year of the pod. I'm going to jump out of a plane. I'm careful what I say. I'm going to have a lovely facial.

41:04Declan Donnelly:No, what are you going to do? We do need some suggestions of what DEC can do when we celebrate a year.

41:10Ant McPartlin:We don't really.

41:12Declan Donnelly:We did talk about a piercing, didn't we? You did. Which you were keen on. No, I was not. You were keen on? No, thank you. Yeah, no, you weren't. No. Sorry, it's not how I recollected it. I thought you said yes. I thought you said A-OK. It was the exact words you said. Sounds like me. Yeah. Sounds like something I'd say. You said A-OK. You said Y-I, man. I will have a piercing. We'll come back to that in a year. Genitalia. So, any other suggestions though, please send them in. But thanks for that. That was fun. It was brilliant. That was fun and I really like it. That's great. I really like it.

41:49Declan Donnelly:It's nice. It's nicely balanced in my arms.

41:51Ant McPartlin:And it's a lovely, lovely reminder of... It's a nice little nod

41:54Declan Donnelly:to the northeast, to Newcastle. Got the Angel of the North there. It's lovely.

42:00Ant McPartlin:And we'll always have it there. It's been designed and it was made by the viewers and listeners of the podcast. Thank you. So thanks for that. Yeah.

42:09Declan Donnelly:This next section is sponsored by Gemini, Google's AI app.

42:14Ant McPartlin:So September is now upon us. Yes, it is. The days are getting cooler. The nights are drawing in. Christmas is ahead. I'm now going to enter my batch cooking era.

42:28Declan Donnelly:Your batch cooking era. Well, I thought I batch cook. It's busy, isn't it? September all the way through to Christmas is very busy for us. It is for us, yeah. Busy time of work. So I thought, you know what batch cooking is, do you? Kind of. Say on a Sunday night, for example, you batch cook big meals and then you can freeze them and then you can go back to them throughout.

42:46Ant McPartlin:So you just portion it up to get in the freezer?

42:48Declan Donnelly:Exactly. Good idea. Yeah.

42:50Ant McPartlin:What is your batch cooking specialties? Well, I don't know.

42:53Declan Donnelly:I haven't done it yet.

42:54Ant McPartlin:I was hoping that's Gemini. What I can batch cook. Good idea. Should we do that? Yes. Okay. It's a good way, this as well, of staying healthy through the autumn. Well, actually, you've talked about healthy. And then run to Christmas. Well, you need to make sure you're eating right. You know. I see you.

43:08Declan Donnelly:Fire and Ash is now streaming on Disney+. It's the film critics are calling the best Avatar yet. A true epic and completely jaw-dropping. This is the only purest thing in this world. Return to Pandora on Disney+. It will be an adventure for the whole family. And watch the Oscar-winning phenomenon at home. This is sick! Avatar Fire and Ash now streaming on Disney Plus rated PG-13

43:36Ant McPartlin:it's also okay mom but it's also a time in the autumn I think where you you get into shape a little bit before the excesses of the festive period so you're going to hit the gym a bit in the autumn so you're going to make sure you get your macros Gemini

43:51Declan Donnelly:build me a plan to batch cook a few different autumn dinners high protein in under three hours. Use ingredients that will freeze and reheat and can be used across all dishes. Oh, and I like a bit of spice, so make sure to include that in your thinking. Can I do that? I'm going to ask that to Gemini.

44:17Ant McPartlin:Yeah, I mean, you've put quite a lot on Gemini there. It's thinking, it's thinking, it's thinking. It's going to be thinking in a while.

44:21Declan Donnelly:Gemini says, quicker than you thought, right? Batch cooking three bold hearty autumn meals inside two and a half hours, relies on shared prep and overlapping aromatics. This plan centers on sweet potato, black beans, kale, sausage, and chipotle pepper. Ingredients that retain their structure when defrosted without turning mushy. Yes, yes, absolutely. Absolutely without turning mushy. That's what we got. All right, hold on. Come on, I'm hungry. The menu. Ooh, three good dishes here. Smoky chipotle and sweet potato chili That sounds good You fancy that? Anything smoky

45:01Ant McPartlin:Anything smoky, I'm there

45:02Declan Donnelly:Spicy sausage, kale and butternut squash stew Yes Yes Love a spicy sausage And finally, fiery roasted sweet potato and black bean enchilada bake Oh yeah They're not bad, are they? They sound great Look, it gives us a shopping list to buy all of the canned stuff all of the produce all of the proteins all of the dairy that's good

45:25Ant McPartlin:talking of protein can you make sure can you make sure you're putting enough protein in there for me hold on let me ask

45:30Declan Donnelly:Gemini can you list out the protein amounts per serving for each of the meals you've suggested is that the kind of thing you want yes

45:38Ant McPartlin:I need to get a minimum amount of protein because I'm a protein bro maintain my muscle mass

45:42Declan Donnelly:oh look so look across the three dishes it's given me all of the protein like for the first one it's 32 to 36 grams of protein per serving the next one 24 to 28 grams of protein. And the last one is 16 to 20 grams of protein per serving.

45:57Ant McPartlin:I need more protein than that. Can you ask if there's ways to boost your protein, please?

46:01Declan Donnelly:Are you joking?

46:02Ant McPartlin:No, I'm not joking. I'm deadly serious. Look at me face.

46:06Declan Donnelly:Gemini, do you have tips on boosting the protein? I need more protein. Please. Yes, it does. Swap Greek yogurt for sour cream on the chili.

46:18Ant McPartlin:Yes.

46:19Declan Donnelly:that's an extra five grams of protein per serving stir in an extra tin of cannellini or butter beans right is that how you say it cannellini yeah into the stew that's an extra six grams of protein scatter hemp seeds or pumpkin seeds over the enchilada bake before we get to

46:39Ant McPartlin:that gives more protein well it must do so we ask for

46:42Declan Donnelly:that is amazing good isn't it it's really good watch this though Gemini can you save these recipes and ingredients and protein stuff into a Google Doc for later. Here we go. Gemini says, I've created a new Google Doc with your batch cooking plan, complete with step-by-step instructions and protein breakdowns. That is right up my street. Read that on my pink phone.

47:09Ant McPartlin:There you go. So when are you getting in the kitchen to make this for us both? No, that's for me.

47:14Declan Donnelly:You make your own. Batch cook yourself. So download the Jamili app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone. Check responses, seller required, compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus. So that's it. That's all we've got time for.

47:31Ant McPartlin:Sure is. That's T-Day, folks. We're back on Monday with a bonus. And then next Thursday, we are back with you. It's a very busy time of year for us. And we are going away. While we're away, we're going to have a lot of time in cars and stuff. so if you've got any more car games for us to play

47:48Declan Donnelly:no need

47:49Ant McPartlin:no no we love doing that over the summer no we don't the pair of us we don't the two of us love that we both got iPads and iPhones so any more games you've got for us that we can play we don't need games we've got games on our phone that would be very much appreciated it wouldn't like we say back with a bonus Monday then we'll see you next Thursday from a topsy relocation they know where we're going remember to follow the podcast wherever you get your podcasts and give us a like and subscribe and all that jazz on YouTube

48:13Declan Donnelly:go on it really helps

48:14Ant McPartlin:Until we see you next Respect guys See you soon Come on

48:23Declan Donnelly:Come on you Can I poke it? Can I poke it wrong?