If Ant & Dec Never Became Famous… 🤔

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0:38Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book-to-screen favorites you've already read twice. Off Campus, Elle, Every Year After, The Love Hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more. Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. I sold my car in Carvana last night. Well, that's cool. No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer, down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wrong. So, what's the problem? That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes to smoothie. I'm waiting for the catch.

1:14Maybe there's no catch. That's exactly what a catch would want me to think. Wow, you need to relax. I need to knock on wood. Do we have wood? Is this table wood? I think it's laminate. Okay, yeah, that's good. That's close enough.

1:24Declan Donnelly:Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees may apply.

1:39Declan Donnelly:Anybody else sing along to your theme tune? Or just me? Just you. Just me? Just you. I reckon there's people out there that sing along to our theme tune. There must be. Get in touch, let us know. Do you like the theme tune? We agonised for the theme tune for a long time, didn't we? We did. There was a lot of talk over the theme tune. But we like it. We agonised. Turn me on, Derek. Turn me on. Hello, hello. You're on. Welcome back to The Hangout for another hanging out bonus pod with me and him. I feel a little bit unprepared for this. Well, good, as you should be. No, it's just I haven't got a lot of tea left.

2:09Ah, I see, right. I've drunk most of my tea already.

2:11Declan Donnelly:No, but as the yellow phone is here, it's the banana phone, which is voice notes, voice recordings, messages from you guys. If you're just listening, yes, the phone is out on the desk. We have a bunch of your voice notes backed up, ready to listen, ready to answer. Backed up sounds wrong. Like constipated. Like you're constipated, yeah. We're constipated with messages. Now I'm just going to put the phone to me here. Well, let's hope they're not all s***. We'll have to bleep that. Okay, shall I dive straight in? Would you like some more hot water for your tea? Or have you rung that bag dry? No.

2:48Declan Donnelly:How many times have you topped that off? That's the second top off. You can't do that again. No. And you'd like to save a bit of money. I'll hang out on the line I might get another couple of cups Still got caffeine in green tea, you know I'll still get a bit jittery if I have too many Okay, here is Voice recording one Hi, I'm Jolie and I'm from Kent I was wondering what your travel habits are Do you leave everything to the last minute and rock up late or do you like to get to airports and stations early to get the snacks in and make that part of your holiday Thanks. Respect, guys. Respect to you.

3:26Declan Donnelly:Respect, Jolie. What a lovely, chirpy message that was from you, Jolene. Jolene? Jolie. Jolie. Jolie. Jolie. Jolie. Jolie. Jolie. Why do you want to know about my habits? How are you as a traveller? Mmm. He's very impatient. Mmm. He's a head down and a scurrier. I am. I am. He likes to bull through the airport. Well, let me tell you this, right? People scoff at me because I like to get through the airport quickly and I don't like it if I'm traveling with the family. You don't like going out with, he doesn't like taking his family away. Let's go on his own. No, and people have got too much stuff.

4:04Declan Donnelly:So I'm a real stickler. I'm like, can we do hand luggage only? Right? And they're like, we can't get everything. I said, you can't. You just got to pack. You just got to think about it, pack correctly, and you'll be able to do hand luggage only. I'm going to give you a great example of what I traveled recently. I got a birthday present off my wife, which was wonderful. It was a trip on the Orient Express, which was on my list of things to do, right? I've always wanted to do it. And she surprised us. And we flew. We had to fly to Venice. So it was only one night, but we flew to Venice, stayed in Venice for the night, and then got the train back from Venice all the way to Paris.

4:43Declan Donnelly:And then we flew from Paris back to the UK. Did anyone get murdered on the Orient Express? Nobody. How disappointing. But this is how I packed. I had one little wheelie overhead suitcase that can go in the cabin. Because I thought... Four-wheeler or two-wheeler? Was it a spinner? It was a spinner. You can spin it. Yeah, he spin it. It's doing well. But I didn't want to put anything in the hold, right? But I knew I had to dress up smart for dinner. That's a lot to cram into that little wheelie. And we're having the night in Venice as well. So I travelled day one in my travel outfit, right? Over to Venice.

5:18Declan Donnelly:Went out for dinner. by changing a shirt, right? Easy, that's easy. The next day to get on the Orient Express, you've got to be smart. No jeans and trainers are forbidden, it says on the invite. Forbidden, which I'm all for, by the way. It's good. You know, you want to dress up. So in my little wheelie, I had a tuxedo with a white shirt, diggy bow tie, black paint and leather shoes. And I also had a brown suit with a little yellow jumper, different shoes, and I had two shirts. The shirt I changed into in Venice for dinner and a shirt that I wore to travel home from the airport. And toiletries.

6:04Declan Donnelly:Thank you. Thank you. I hope that answers your question. That all fit in that little wheelie? It did when I pack it. Did you look like a creased mess? Not at all. I picked good fabrics. I picked good fabrics that didn't crease right or if they were creased they were meant to be so two linen shirts so it doesn't matter because it's meant to look creased and then the other brown suit that I had was like a tweedy kind of wool which doesn't crease I was very proud of myself so I'm a real stickler if I travel with anyone only take what is really needed that's good what about yourself I like getting there early I like getting there in plenty of time I like getting through security I like getting there but as soon as the gate is called let's get down to the gate why?

6:49because I like to get on the plane but what if you're just hanging around the gate for ages? well I try and time it so by the time I get down to the gate it's time to board but the great thing about having kids is that they board you first yes they do like Jack get in that buggy I just learnt this

7:03Declan Donnelly:this is excellent get in that buggy and pretend you're a baby so you get to board first so I like getting on the plane getting on my stuff up in the cabin under the seat in front of you getting all of that, have everything. I'm quite organised. So for somebody who is eternally late for everything, I'm early for the airport. I saw it recently flying back from Newcastle where I had my little wheelie, but I had a buggy as well. He had his bag, my wife had her bag. And I'm like, okay, we are technically, we've still got one thing each and a buggy, but it just felt like a lot, right? And she was saying, I think we should check it in.

7:40Declan Donnelly:I was like, no, no, check it in. You know the rules. This is a domestic flight. hand luggage only. We do not check in. But when we got there, she has real anxiety of overhead locker space. Like she hates getting there. I get that. Do you? Yeah. My wife hates it, right? I said to Ali, we've got to get on the plane in case the locker, the bins go. And they'd gone. All of them gone. So we were in row two. Oh, that's a nightmare. Row one had gone. Row two had gone, which I was in. So someone had put their bags in my overhead locker. Row three had gone and row four had gone. That's unacceptable. And there was only one row of people.

8:15Declan Donnelly:So boy, did I talk loudly. And looked at everybody. And looked at everybody who didn't look me in the eye. I was talking to a sigh. I'm just going to get the bags out. I said a lot. Somebody's taking up all the space down here, dear. That's exactly what I said, loudly. I didn't say dear. Pet. Pet. Babe. Babe. Somebody's taking up. I didn't see it somebody's taking the legs this year babe yeah I do that before I get on the plane I get everything out I need headphones get my iPad out get everything out so as soon as I get on boom it's up there in the locker yeah and that's it she does the thing where she gets on and goes right what do I need out of this bag and people are getting on and putting stuff up and like this has got to go up pretty soon otherwise so you feel like me then everyone takes the mic out of me no I you should have this out already we've got to reserve this I said, let me put it up there.

9:15It's true though. Let me get the bag up there. I said, let me put it up there. And then when everybody's on, I'll get it back down and get what you need. But don't do it now because somebody's going to nick the space. Yeah, I agree. I get very, very anxious. Do you get your Suzukuro out before? Before, it's all out. Right. Because that's in my little backpack, which goes under the seat in front. It's very stressful travelling with us. What trauma did we have in our past where we really feel like

9:37Declan Donnelly:we've got to get through so quickly with less luggage? So it must have gone wrong somewhere. Oh, plenty's gone wrong. Great first question, though. Thank you so much, Jolene. Jolie. Jolie. Let's have another voice note. Hello, Christina here. So, quick one. Looking back across all your albums, what is your best and most cringy song from each? And how are you going to explain some of those lyrics to your kids one day? Some of them, let's be real, they're pretty questionable. Love you. Take care. Oh, God. Well, all of them are cringy because they were written in the 90s and we were kind of rappers.

10:17So like the first album, our best song was probably Let's Get Ready to Rumble. Yes. And our most cringy song was probably Let's Get Ready to Rumble. Yeah.

10:25Declan Donnelly:Second album, best song, When I Fall In Love, I would say. Was that the second album? Yeah. Or was that the third album? I think that was the third album. Was it? Second album was... Top Cats. Top Cats. Oh, You Crazy Cats. What was Shout on? That was a good one. Shout was a good song. Last album? Ah, that wasn't cringey. I forgot the one I had lead vocals on.

10:49Yeah, most of them are cringey. I don't think I can pick a cringiest. No, no. And the second part of the question was, how are we going to explain some of those to our children when they're older?

10:58Declan Donnelly:We're not really. I'm just going to hope that they never stumble across them. Yeah, they just won't. They won't play them. Nah. Nobody plays them. Nah. Anymore. The only song they'll ever hear is Let's Get Rid of Rumble. Yeah. I don't think any of the others are. Which got number one. That's how I explain it. Number one, baby. Number one. Number one. Only took 19 years, but it got to number one. It did. It was released in 1994 and got to number one after we did it on Saturday Night Takeaway. 19 years later. It got to number one as a joke, basically. People got to number one as a joke. It's a great song.

11:31It is a banger. It is a good song. It's a culturally significant song.

11:35Declan Donnelly:A culturally significant song. Well, thanks. It's been called a lot of things, but never that. Yeah. A lot of things that began with the C word, but it was never that. Okay. Wrap with a capital C. Let's have another voice note. Hi, Ant and Dec. It's Pip here from Scotland. I'm currently listening to your podcast while I'm hiding in my wardrobe from my children. But it has got me thinking. Nobody ever says Dec and Ant. It just sounds almost illegal. so I was wondering if you guys could think of any other things that just don't sound right unless they're said a certain way around so for me for an example I've thought of things like fish and chips you just wouldn't say chips and fish no you wouldn't so yeah what other things can you guys think of well you wouldn't say pepper and salt would you you'd say salt and pepper there's a lot of things like that that go together yeah knife and fork fork and knife sounds like you're swearing sounds like you're swearing the fork and knife.

12:36Pass the fork and knife across the table.

12:38Declan Donnelly:Yeah, there's a lot of instances where names that have been said first for a long period should always stay that way because it does mean it's slightly illegal to change them like Ant and Dec. But sometimes it's nice to change things. Not really. Not really. Not really. I mean, I'm less concerned with her question and more the fact that she's hiding in a wardrobe from her children. A lot can go wrong there. Oh, yeah. If the kids come along and one of the kids decides to lean something heavy up against that wardrobe, she ain't getting out. No. That's disastrous. I guess she could shout and bang.

13:17Declan Donnelly:She could. Or the kids come along quietly and listen and they think that we're in the wardrobe with her. So she thinks that. Oh. And then they tell dad that he goes off it. Yeah. Files for divorce. Dad. Mummy was in the wardrobe with Adam Deck how do you know I heard them he gets on a train from Scotland to London to look for us to seek revenge this could go really wrong this could go really wrong it's a very good idea for a drama though it's the good start of it yes the good whodunit Sheridan Smith in a wardrobe at the beginning who would play me and you? Andrew Scott yeah Andrew Scott can you play both of us?

13:58Declan Donnelly:yeah he could you can play both of us like Tom Hardy in The Craze in The Craze yeah Yeah. Or Michael B. Jordan in Sinners. Yes. Yeah, that's it. Thank you for the great idea, Pip. Very good idea. Get out the wardrobe now, Pip, because we do worry about your safety and our safety when your husband's concerned. Do you know what on egg corners or spoonerisms, you know, when you say things like parkark or like you say things, do you have any of those? There's one that I get wrong quite a bit and we do it on telly sometimes is when you do a toinkos. Toinkos. I've said that a few times before. so before the show we did a toinkos I've said so many wrong things obviously over the past and just just the way it is so many wrong things and some of them weren't egg corns they were just wrong things that's a spoonerism ah a spoonerism is the wrong way around yeah and then an egg corn is when you mishear a phrase ah right so you think it's all like you mishear a lyric or you quote things wrong misheard lyrics are brilliant if you out there have any misheard lyrics that you thought were something else send them in to us Send them in and send them in what you thought they were.

15:04Declan Donnelly:And we'll see if we can guess what the actual version is. Yeah. Like Skinner and Adele, three lines on the shelf. That's obviously three lines on a shirt. The Jules Romay still gleaming. That lyric always gets people as well because they just don't know. Yeah. If you don't know what that first World Cup was called, the Jules Romay trophy, then people just, whenever people sing along to that song in crowds or whatever, they always get it wrong. I thought it was about the crown jewels see jewels remain still gleaming not the jewels remain no, the jewels remain still gleaming jewels remain is the original work of Trophy the jewels remain trophy Bill Ardy, Bill Ardy put your hands all over my body you know who Bill Ardy is?

15:50the bird watcher oh she's not singing Bill Ardy she's singing erotic, erotic put your hands all over my body but it sounds like, listen to it He goes, Bill Addy, Bill Addy, put your hands all over my body. That'll steam up these binoculars. Let's have another voice note. Hey, Anton Deck. It's Lisa, Manjit and Renato here. Hi. Hi, Lisa, Manjit and Renato. We're so looking forward to actually coming and seeing you at the King's Trust on the 11th of May at the Royal Abbott Hall. That's a good plug. My question is, if you had to have one wish of something else you could do other than all the brilliant shows that you do today, what would that be?

16:28A wish. A wish. I wish.

16:32Declan Donnelly:We've got it pretty sweet, you know. Yeah, we have done well. What if you were told you can no longer work in media? Oh, get out of here! Weren't you going to be a plumber? My dad's a plumber. And actually, last night at the house, all the water pressure went, and we didn't have a hot shower. So I said, I'll be in charge of this. I'll sort this out. and all I'd done was top up the water, you know, like the overflow pipe, top it up. And the plumber was still cold because nobody trusted me. And by the time the plumber got there, he went, it was a waste of my time because what you'd just done was the correct thing to do.

17:14Declan Donnelly:Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, he was a bit more annoyed than that because it was a waste of his time. It was nine o 'clock last night. I bet he charged you for a call out though. Oh yeah, that's a good point. You'll get a bill for it. Yeah, bruh. You'll get a bill for it. I would love to do some more acting. You can't work in the media, Ant. What didn't you understand about the question? I'd like to open a coffee shop near me. Would you? Yeah, I would. Near me, I think there's room for a really good artisan coffee shop, you know, like a really cool little place where people hang up.

17:44Declan Donnelly:Artisan. Artisan. Artisan. I know what it means. I know what it means. I think, yeah, I'd quite like to do that. It's a long, long, long day. Long day. Oh, I wouldn't be there from the start of the day. Oh, you're just opening up. I don't want to pop off. Pop off. See you do this. Pop back. We count the reddies. You'd be in there like that. Open the till up. Just take that. See you guys. Keep up the good work, yeah? I mean, the fact nobody pays in cash anymore. I'll try that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, what do I do? So yeah, a comedy drama we've talked about, haven't we? About potentially, Jordan? Yeah, yeah.

18:18Declan Donnelly:You looked at me quite blankly then. Like we've talked about that a lot. Yeah. No, I think there's something else. I'd like to do theatre. We've been approached by some theatre producers over the years. They were definitely theatre types because they wore scarves inside. Yes, correct. But we were very interested, actually, and we still might do something. And out of media? Diary writing? Calligraphy? I don't know. Maybe something attached to a hobby. You don't have any hobbies? Oh, yeah. Tattoo artist? I could be a tattoo artist. What? I could do that. Give over. A tattoo artist? Yeah. Well, all right.

18:56Declan Donnelly:Why don't you draw some of it then? A tattoo, I'll get. Okay. What about the Stay Fresh Cheesebag Man? Cool. What? Did I expect that, did you? No, I didn't.

19:08All right. I'll have a design as well. Do a little design. Put it in there. Okay. I'll slip it in and just see what you think of it. Anonymously. Anonymously.

19:15Declan Donnelly:Anonymously because then I know the one that doesn't have a name would be you. Oh, yeah. I'll give it a false name. A fake name. A pseudonym. Ronnie Bark used to do that. And the two Ronnies, he used to write sketches and send them in to the producer under a pseudonym called Gerald. And then they would read them and go, oh, that's quite funny, actually. It's been sent by Gerald. What's his name again? And it was Ronnie Barker all the time. But he wanted them to be judged solely on the quality of the script, not because it came from him. Okay. So if I get a tattoo, a design, and it is by Gerald, I'll know it's you.

19:48Declan Donnelly:You'll know. It's best to change the name. Okay, I'll change it again. Okay. All right, next one. Hi, Ant and Dick. How are you guys? My name is Bernie. Hi, Bernie. I'm from Greystones in County Wicklow. Lovely. And the question I'd like to ask you both is, after working together all these years, what's the one thing that still surprises you? I think whenever you laugh, not you, as in we, one of us laughs. Yeah. Whenever we make each other laugh, it's still a lovely surprise. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? it just because you kind of you would think after all these years we've heard every joke everything that would make the other one laugh and also you kind of know what the other person is going to say a lot of the time so sometimes we still catch each other out yeah that's that's what I would say when it's a lovely surprise like that that's yeah that's what makes makes us laugh and that's the most surprising yeah and we try and do that as well like when we're on I'm a celebrity and stuff like that we'll keep things back for the live show to try and make the other person laugh.