Jack Whitehall Hangs Out (and doesn't want to leave)

8:43Declan Donnelly:Yeah, maybe a full beard dye. You can get that also. Larry could do that for you. Yeah, a false beard. With some of my trimmings from the shop floor. He could just fashion you an actual beard and we could print stick it onto your face.

8:57Ant McPartlin:Fabulous. I'll look forward to that.

8:58Declan Donnelly:Do you ever go completely bald? Like a facial hair? Yeah, I do. Because I always see you with a beard. I have a very weak chin. Yeah, I bet you look quite young as well. Yeah, I look very baby-faced and a weak chin, which I inherited from my father. So I like the beard because the beard masks the weak chin. And also, yeah, it makes me look of age. How is your dad? How is mum and dad? Do you know what? I don't really see them anymore. What? Because they've literally cut me loose, okay? What do you mean? They are, okay, what I have defined as Nepo parents. I gave them an opportunity. okay they appeared on television with me we then did the travel show on netflix yeah they got a modicum of fame and then the minute they had that and they had that you know agency they got their own podcast which i've not been invited on they're now going on tour they're on tour they're literally yes they're going on tour doing live podcast shows and my mom was on the bloody weakest link the other day i turned on the television on a saturday night she's there with romesh doing weak weakest link and they've completely can't be loose because they don't need me anymore I've just seen and so watch out with Mulhern you were just stepping stone stepping stone to fame

10:15Ant McPartlin:because your mum and dad are one of the or well two of the names that we get suggested a lot to do I'm a celebrity get me out of here we do a show live on Instagram every night after the show and we say who would you like to see next year on the show a lot of them say

10:29Declan Donnelly:the White Holes who out of your mum and dad do you think would do it the most I mean my mum would absolutely love to do it Yeah, I think she would absolutely love to do it. She's pretty fearless and she would be great on it. My dad, on the other hand, I think he could maybe go on it if like he was a Bushducker trial. Do you know what I mean? Like if the celebrities were locked in a coffin with him. I think that might work. But as an actual contestant, I mean, he wouldn't pass the medical. He would literally five minutes. I don't think you can get him to Australia for a start. but I yeah I think I think my mum my mum would be great how cheaply do you think we could get your mum well I mean what are we talking I've always told her what's the offer I've always told her that the way she needs to get on time is celebrity I don't know whether this is a story that I should be sharing publicly although I have shared it once publicly when he was the head of Channel 4 our dear friend Kevin Liger yes the boss of ITV who grew up in the same village as my mother and there may be even at some point may have been a little bit of a relationship as teenagers.

11:35I think there was like a snog behind the bike shed kind of moment. I was like, Hillary, you have to play this card. If you want to get into the jungle, blackmail the head of my TV.

11:47Ant McPartlin:That's the way to do it. The only way to do it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. And then she's in. She's there. She's down under. Okay, let's stop there. Let's stop there. We've digressed quite heavily because we wanted to talk to you today about your new TV show. The Burbs. Yes, The Burbs. Which is a remake of the old Tom Hanks movie from 1989, which I went to see as a 13-year-old on a Piker Grove cast day out. We all went out to the cinema. Where did you go? It was before you were in the show. What?

12:19Declan Donnelly:You weren't invited.

12:20Ant McPartlin:Yeah, the less important series. Series one.

12:23Declan Donnelly:We found a speed series two on one. The pilot series.

12:26Ant McPartlin:So tell us about The Burbs and what it's all about. So The Burbs is sort of inspired by that movie and takes like the premise of the Tom Hanks film, which is this couple that moved to the suburbs and, you know, it's seemingly really nice and all of the neighbors are really friendly, but then there's this one mysterious house at the end of the street and no one really knows about the family that lives in there. And then you sort of begin to unearth their like deep, dark secrets. And so it's kind of got a horror angle as well. And this is like a modern retelling of that, completely different storyline, completely different characters.

12:58And I play Rob Fisher, who's married to Kiki Palmer's character. And then we move back to the suburbs and then there's this really creepy house with this really weird family living there. And yeah, it's all about this kind of mystery unfolding.

13:12Ant McPartlin:Great. It's kind of got Only Murders in the Building vibes to it. Good. Oh, I like that. Yeah. And a bit of Desperate Housewives as well, I think, is another quite good composite for it. It's the sort of, you know, the mystery of suburbia and everyone's got a secret and it's got that kind of similar tone as well. And we shot it on the same location. oh was it did you yeah yeah wisteria lane which is uh this place called colonial street where they shot the original movie as well which is on the universal lot right which is amazing because it's like such a part of like hollywood history yeah amazing every day you know you went from the trailer to set on a little golf buggy and you'd go up past the jaws village with the shark attacking the tourists and the psycho house and uh yeah and then and then you'd get to set the the only slight demoralizing thing about that though is that they would also have tours running constantly so every now and again you'd be on your way to set in the golf buggy feeling like the vip and then the tour would slow down and everyone would look out of their windows and they'd be so disappointed that it wasn't kevin hart or gait johnson or someone that they'd heard of oh michael whitehall's son great and in it you've got a british accent yes and now you do do an american accent because i've seen you do it i've attempted an american accent you know you've done it before and it's very very good why did you decide to stay british in this one or was that did you workshop it?

14:27Ant McPartlin:Did you try something different? I think they just found it was quite, they all found it quite funny. I think when we got into the rehearsal room, they quite liked the fact that I was British and that made me a little bit other as well. And it also meant that all of the other cast who, again, as I said, were all comedians, had this angle of attack. So in all of the like improvs, they would just be riffing on, you know, me sounding like Benedict Cumberbatch and attacking me for being British. and it just felt like there was another sort of comic dynamic to it. So, yeah, I stayed British so that they could have some fodder.

15:01Ant McPartlin:Good. You are incredibly busy as well, so obviously you've been doing that, but you've got loads of other stuff going on, going on tour, which we'll talk to you about a little bit as well. But you've just, well, a month or two ago, did the Brits. Yes, yeah, yeah. For the sixth time? Sixth time, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do you keep going back, you mad man? I don't know I kind of love how terrifying it is and how chaotic it is and the sort of like the relief you get when you sort of got away with it again yeah yeah I I kind of I kind of love that uh and it is there's there is nothing quite like it and I don't get to like do a lot of hosting I don't get to do a lot of live tv so it also sort of scratches that itch I really like the sort of excitement and adrenaline of it.

15:47And it's, you know, as you guys know, it's like, it's, it's, it's nothing quite like it. Yeah, it is a top gig.

15:53Declan Donnelly:When you feel like you've got away with it, you're like, phew. We've done it three times. Three times. Yeah.

15:58Ant McPartlin:We get to the end of it and that kind of chaos and that madness of it, that's what we hated about it. Oh, really? Yeah. But then also loved about it,

16:08Declan Donnelly:because I like the chaos. What I struggle, what we struggle with was, you think it's one run in order. you think it's how the night's going to go and the performances stay the same relatively but it's the interviews it's the bits you think you're going to get that fall down the last second sometimes do you have the same when you do it? yeah yeah it's not just us it's nothing personal no I remember the first year that I did it and again I was sort of slightly flying by the seat of my pants and we were in like part 8 of the show and they're like oh you know the set's not ready the set's not ready and you need to fill for 4 minutes So go to table 16 and you're going to do that interview that you had up your sleeve with Foo Fighters.

16:48And then they get to the table and I sat down. None of them were there. It was four empty seats and had four minutes to fill. What did you do? I sort of just taught nonsense and, you know, like kept trailing what was about to come up and then through to a break like three minutes early.

17:03Ant McPartlin:But sort of, you know, it got away with it. But yeah, I guess as well, like just giving into that and embracing the fact that people do want that. And I think that even that was like a moment that people quite like because they found it funny and it showed that it wasn't, you know, going smoothly. And I think people like seeing those kind of, you know, those moments where it goes wrong. But you really like the opportunity to treat the night as a bit of a rust. Yeah, I think ultimately, like long term, now that we're in the sort of sixth year of me doing it, is slightly backfired because now no one wants to talk to me.

17:38They put out all of the arse to all of the artists that are there and just everyone knocks me back. They're like, nope, he can't come and talk to me. So, you know, I think now I'm going to have to try more like guerrilla tactics to just turn up and shove a mic in their face whether they like it or not. But it's good being like that

17:55Declan Donnelly:because I think he can be so serious sometimes and everyone's just there to have fun. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I know you can take your music seriously and of course you want to put on a good performance but it's an award show. You don't have to be so serious about anything. No, it's true. You know what I mean? And I do think so much of it is also not coming from the actual artists themselves. Yeah. I remember, I think it was the year before, I had some jokes in the monologue about Stormzy and him doing that McDonald's advert. And they were like, if you do any jokes about Stormzy, he will walk out the room.

18:26They said he will not sit there and be abused by you. And I was like, what? I'm not abusing him. I was just going to call him Muck Stormzy and then make some really lame jokes about him being Deliverooed here tonight or whatever. And they were like, no, you can't do them. I was like, I'm going to do them because I think I'm sure he has a thick enough skin to be able to take that. And obviously he does. Like he didn't care. And I did the jokes and he laughed and he didn't walk out the room because he was never going to walk out the room. But like people are so sort of protective and they're so worried.

18:53And I guess they're sort of doing their jobs as well because they're just trying to protect the people that they work for. But there's a lot. Oh, my God. It's like incessant. I do a fake script in the rehearsal now

19:03Declan Donnelly:do you? yeah after the first year because you get notes from everybody oh my god yeah like pounding on the door to my dressing room I had to hide in the toilet the first year because I'd done all of these jokes and then all of the publicists and the A &R people and the ITV lawyer they were banging on the door you can't do that so the second year I just did a fake script in the rehearsal and it was just all like glowing praise for everyone it's like what a year it's been Olymer's amazing and oh, Niall Horne, what a talent. And they were like, oh, he's really changed. Isn't British music the best?

19:37Declan Donnelly:Then come the night, it's live and anything can happen. Do you get a lot of hecklers on the Brits? Like you would at a stand-up show? Well, no, not really. And those, you know, when you're in those arenas, when someone does heckle, you sort of can't really hear what they're saying, which is the sort of saving grace of them as well because you don't know where the abuse is coming from.

19:54Ant McPartlin:Do you get a lot of hecklers doing stand-up? because is the Jack Whitehall audience a very heckly kind of audience? I'll tell you a funny story about a very Jack Whitehall heckler. It was in my early days and I was doing a gig in Putney near to where I live and there was a lot of kind of, you know, chins in there and a lot of red cords. Right. And fiber jackets. It was very much a home gig. With chins and red cords. Yeah, a cord. and because it was a home gig for some reason I was doing some material on Hugh Fernley Whitting Store because I thought play to what's going to be here yeah I've been waiting to do the Hugh Fernley Whitting Store routine the river cottage gag

20:35Declan Donnelly:yeah how'd you get out of there yeah didn't feel right in Stockton on TV but I think tonight's the night for it in the joke I referenced him switching on an Arga and then I got on with the joke and then this man at the back in like a in like red cords and a woody jumper just shouted out you can't switch on an AGA. That's the point. I was like, wow, that is the poshest pegboard that has ever been shouted out at a comedy club. And he got like a ripple of applause. Well done. I'm glad someone has called him out on that. That's amazing. So you're going back on tour? I'm going back on tour. 2027, is it?

21:09Yeah, 2027. Yeah, that's it.

21:11Ant McPartlin:But tickets are on sale pretty soon. Now. Now. So when you do that, when you release your tickets early doors and you're going on tour in 2027, how much of the material have you got formed by that point well it's sort of i mean i've got like about a 45 minute set at the moment but i imagine by the time i get to you know january next year of that 45 minutes like i'll only be doing maybe 20 of it because 25 of it isn't good enough so it's a real process and now i'll be going up at comedy clubs and like building it and trying new routines and you know fine-tuning the hugh firmly waiting store material to see if i can get it to really gonna crack that on your gag do you still love it yeah yeah i love it and i actually really love this this bit of it as well where you're just like you know turning up at a stand-up club unannounced and doing 20 minutes of new material that you've written that day and trying stuff out some of it flies and some of it is tumbleweed and it again like in the same way that like that feeling of you know doing the brits is exhilarating i really love being on stage and also when you're doing new material for the first time there's a real kind of buzz to doing that i bet have you

22:20Declan Donnelly:got like good ones in your back pocket that you think if you are in the states somewhere and you think there's this killer gag that i've always got if the gig's failing that i'll always get out yes but the problem with doing it in america and i and i have had it a few times is that there is still that like slight like uh cultural divide and your references as well so you have to run your references and if you're doing prepared material and routines that you know you can check check out then it's fine and you you check all your references but sometimes if you dip into something from like the back catalog you're suddenly launching into a joke and it's not until you're halfway into it and you're doing the setup that you go this has a waitrose punch no one here is gonna laugh and then you're racking your brain what's the equivalent yeah and it's too late and i've had a couple of moments like that where i've started doing a routine and then And it's just fizzled out so aggressively because I've had no way of landing it because I don't know what the equivalent reference is.

23:21And then the other thing is then that gets into your head. So then the next time you do a gig, you overcheck your references and you look like a complete dick because you go into a green room and you go up to these American hardened road comics. I was just wondering if I could check a couple of references. And I genuinely asked a guy this. I was like, do you have swans in America? And he was like, yeah, we have swans. I was like, okay, good, sorry.

23:46Ant McPartlin:As you were. And does the king own them as well? Does he own your swans? Because he owns our swans. Yeah. Oh, my God. My stand-up, if you just listened to this podcast, would sound so unrelatable. Swans, weirdos, swans, and waitrose. Those are my topics. I mean, oh, my God. Literally no one is going to come and see me outside of the home county. It's got a lot of tickets to shift in Newcastle. So I'm here. How's fatherhood? Fatherhood's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's amazing. One of the reasons we started this podcast is because we both had small children. And we wanted to escape them. And we wanted to escape, get out of the house.

24:24Ant McPartlin:And we didn't get - Because we never saw each other anymore. We didn't get to hang out anymore. Yeah, really. So we started a podcast so we could get out of the house and come and hang out and catch up with each other. So that's one of the reasons we started it. Can I join? Yeah. Yes, you can. You're welcome. Please. Come along anytime. Yeah, I'll do anything. I'll make you coffee and tea. I just want to be here 10 minutes from my house it's perfect

24:45Declan Donnelly:is it? yeah okay yeah whenever you want you're all the welcome hard work isn't it? yeah it is it is hard work it's a real leveller I feel like we've got you on a bad day no actually today is a great day because she's gone back to nursery she's been ill for a week how old is she? she's two two and a half so she's just literally getting every bug and virus she's been off a week and so we took her to nursery this morning for the first time in 10 days or whatever. Right. There was a little cough on the way there. I was like, no, no, no, no. Don't even think about it. No, you're fine. You're absolutely fine.

25:17But do you know what? She is also, I've discovered, and she's amazing and I'm like so blessed, but also a great source of material. Yes. Oh my God. I'd honestly like, I feel like I had done, you know, the well was dry in terms of chucking my dad under the bus. And I needed to find a new angle. Yeah. Desperately. And then, yeah, Elsie came along at just the right time because it's such a fun thing to talk about. And, you know, she started speaking now as well, which is everybody who just got the notepad out every day and just jotting down all of these, like, you know, the gold that she's coming up with.

25:54And I do feel like a slight pang of guilt as well that, you know, all of this material and me talking about her will live somewhere. She will find it at some point. Yeah, that. But, you know, she can talk to a therapist about that in 20 years' time.

26:09Ant McPartlin:we don't need to worry about that too much now is your parent and style very very different from

26:14Declan Donnelly:your father's well i haven't started a boarding school yet yeah yeah yeah yeah do they do boarding nurseries is that a thing it's an idea it's an idea there's money in it yeah i have a really good relationship with my dad yeah and i just look back and i'm like i can't quite work out how there was a lot of nannies there was a lot of boarding school when did i see him maybe that was the key he's best in small doses to be fair and yeah we may be made up for it later you know ed's traveled the world together and spent a lot of time to with each other so maybe

26:54Ant McPartlin:that was the way the best way around i did that thing where i got you know there's the all those parenting books and there's that one um the book you wish your parents had read oh yeah and your children will thank you that you did yes yeah i could pull that it's a long title isn't it it's really long i did it on audiobook so i was kind of on my walks and reading it and all that and i got to a point i switched it off and went i'm never going to be able to do this there's just so much to remember there's so much to do and how to react in every situation but if you read all those books and listen to every podcast in it like you would terrify yourself you think there's absolutely no way you'd be capable of doing it but most people seem to be pretty good at like stepping up to it i think it's hilarious and i was probably that person as well in my friendship group but i've got i've got another friend who's recently just told me that he's having a baby i was like how the hell is that gonna work but it will and like the baby will come along and he'll he'll be amazing and he'll like step up to it and yeah you find something from within yourself and it does change you as well like instantly it's it's it's crazy isn't it like the minute that your baby comes along like it changes your whole like outlook and perspective and yeah your whole personality so it's yeah yeah i've loved it i remember when we had isla and we were maybe like six seven days in we got home from the hospital got back and we were home six seven days and then woke up one morning it was a particularly bad night and i remember turning to anna and going oh it's relentless in it like i don't know what i expected it's like for the rest of your life every single day when do we get the weekend off yeah of course relentlessness isn't it yeah it's having a kid but you're right wouldn't change it no it's one

28:32Declan Donnelly:I had a wonderful moment yesterday where we bought him a little table and chairs for his playroom I was trying to put it together and kind of I had all the instructions I had all the pots on the ground and he was coming around getting involved and I getting involved you're getting involved like moving all the instructions around and hiding the allen key and picking up the screws so I was like what I said Wilder why don't you go and get your tools and you can help daddy and for once he listened went to the other room brought his little wooden toy kit put it down next to me sat down got out a screwdriver so like copied what i was doing and was just kind of doing that on the bit of wood next to me i said oh this is it this is everything the best that's the best i wish i had that moment with elsie and i have not had that moment with Elsie.

29:19Toolkit. Okay.

29:20Declan Donnelly:Okay. I'm getting a toolkit. I am a bit of a beta male, as you might know this, about me. And I find it, at the best of times, quite emasculating that if something goes wrong in the house, there's a lovely guy called Daniel. And he has to come and help do the manly tasks around the house. So anything that goes wrong from, you know, something breaking or a pipe burst to a light bulb going out, I have to get a man around. okay i have to get the man around to be the man in the house but i've now discovered that there is there is a sort of boss level of emasculation which is roxy recently bought a doll's house for elsie that i could not construct i had to get a man out to make the child's dollhouse for my daughter what am i i'm always available yeah meanwhile i'll come around father and son I'm going to choke it he's going to choke it the parliament's done

30:16Ant McPartlin:here they come dodgy cowboys

30:22Ant McPartlin:before we let you go the three wise monkeys in Heckler's Corner over there have formulated some sort of challenge game little quiz for you little quiz great do you like quizzes yeah yeah do I have to go at the end of the quiz no you don't you can stay I have to go back and parent stay then stay stay I told them that this was a 24-hour podcast. I told them that that was the concept of it. That you steal over. I might just have a little nap in the corner. Yeah, no problem. Yeah, yeah, okay. Thank you. Come on then, watch the rules. What have you got for us today?

30:52Declan Donnelly:Right, so I've got some quotes, and you have to guess which one of you three said the quote. It will be Ant versus Deck versus Jack.

31:00Ant McPartlin:Okay.

31:01Declan Donnelly:Sound all right? Yes. All right. Quote number one.

31:04Ant McPartlin:I think this is going to be easy, by the way.

31:06Declan Donnelly:We'll have a look. All right. Let's read this one.

31:08Ant McPartlin:I just thought of a quiz.

31:11Declan Donnelly:Give her a word.

31:13Ant McPartlin:I think there's got to be stories about that.

31:16Declan Donnelly:Coinable on.

31:17Ant McPartlin:I think shorter people have better walks. Oh. Well, that sounds like something you should say. Yeah. Yeah, this could be a red herring though, no?

31:27Declan Donnelly:Yeah, I think it might be for the first quarter. I think it's Jack. I think it's Jack. Who are you going for? No, I think it's... Do you think it's me? Yeah. The answer is Jack.

31:38Ant McPartlin:What? It was Jack. How did I say that? Do you want to have a look? Well, well... Better walks as in... Do you have a good gait? Do I? Maybe that's what you meant. Maybe that's what I meant. Maybe it's walking style because they've got shorter legs. Yes. Because I'm so tall. I walk like Prince Charles.

31:59Declan Donnelly:You're just listening. Jack is walking with his hands behind his back in a stooped manner. Yeah, in a stooped manner. I catch myself. I see myself sometimes. I'm like, oh. okay well done it's a good job I'm on the toilet because I've just sh**ed myself sounds too coarse for me it's too coarse for you I think I think that's you Jack I would say it's a good job I'm on the throne because I've just soiled myself yeah you would say that one has just soiled oneself that would be so it's not you still with your hands behind your back yes one's just laid a little brown swab

32:35Ant McPartlin:who do you think it is Jack me yeah it is I think it's also me.

32:39Declan Donnelly:You are all correct. It is deck.

32:41Ant McPartlin:It's from a social media video where Ant had a very elaborate pen which had a screwdriver, a spirit level because you took the end off and showed me I had a Phillips screwdriver in there which took me by surprise and I was in the toilet in a Winnie-Bago and I said... And it's a good job. It's a good job I'm on the toilet because I just... With delight.

33:02Declan Donnelly:With delight. With delight. With delight. Oh my God, I'm so happy. One of those. I love those. They're my favourite. Right, next quote. What are you doing? You blew my pants off. I think you said this when we done Saturday Night Take with Disney and then the balloon popped and you had your underpants off. Are you short off with down your legs? Oh, could be that. I'm going to say deck.

33:24Ant McPartlin:Okay.

33:24Declan Donnelly:Jackson, what are you talking about? Jackson, I don't know any of this context, but I'm going to go with deck as well.

33:30Ant McPartlin:I'm going to go with that just because. I heard Disneyland pants down your ankles. Pants down at Disneyland. It's like, wow. Okay. that's why that's why you started a podcast the cancellation is imminent I'm going with Ant

33:46Declan Donnelly:the answer is Dex

33:47Ant McPartlin:oh it was me at Disneyland

33:49Declan Donnelly:which is the balloon we had balloons around our body and we had to answer questions and if you got a question wrong a pin got closer to the balloon and if your balloon was popped then you lost and you were naked underneath the balloons no we weren't we had shorts on but Dex decided in the middle of Disneyland to pop your shorts down That is such a high stakes game. It is really high stakes. That is insane.

34:10Ant McPartlin:I knew I'd lost the challenge. So I thought the only way I can pull focus here is to drop my shorts. I didn't drop my pants. I just dropped my shorts. Just your shorts. Next quote. If I'm with someone that complains in a restaurant, I die inside. This sounds like Jack Whitehall. I think this is from a routine I did about complaining in restaurants. Yeah. I don't know how hard I find it to say anything. if I don't like my food. Well, I think that's quite a British thing. I'm like that. I went out the other night with some friends. We had went for a nice meal down the pub. Yeah. Got one of the specials.

34:46Ant McPartlin:It sounded amazing. It was awful. But obviously when they came along, said, is everything all right with your meal? Yes, it was delicious, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm the same. But I do like a moan, but I will moan right up until the second that the waiter has a bit at the table to ask me if it's okay. so like I will be like going to town and I'll be like oh my god this is the worst dinner I've ever had there's literally a cube on my plate there's a cube right there multiple pubes my steak has a fringe and he's come to get me a steak knife he might as well get me a bloody cup yes it's absolutely fine this is spot on compliments to the barber it's very British isn't it yeah yeah and then just you can't you can't send anything back you can't we're all saying Jack it is Jack it is Jack it is me How did he grow such a luscious tache?

35:35Declan Donnelly:Harry Styles has got a very strong moustache. It's got to be you. No. He's got a good tache now. Is he? I think it's more of a sort of suggestion of a moustache. A bum-floppy moment. Yeah, yeah. I love Harry, and I, you know, won't hear a bad word said against him, but I would say that that department is maybe not like... He's lacking. Yeah.

35:55Ant McPartlin:That's a brave move in on a podcast. Yeah, yeah, I don't know what that was. Cut that out. Yeah, cut that out. he's got a lovely tash he's luscious we just keep putting it out yeah yeah I said it was me

36:08Declan Donnelly:don't know why I've got no context for it I just haven't said anything who he votes for Ant Ant Jack Ewan Ant it's Dec did I say that

36:17Ant McPartlin:about who about Harry Styles about Harry Styles this is not going to end well I can already tell did I just say that did I just say that about this podcast yeah

36:28Declan Donnelly:I mean I'm sure we've all said that at some stage in our careers about many projects we've worked on. So we're all correct. Punnage? Punnage? Punnage? Gimme, gimme, gimme. I feel like this was probably said when you were stood naked in a balloon in a children's theme park with a pin hovering next to you. Internally, you said that a lot. Yeah,

36:49Ant McPartlin:I would have been saying that over and over again to the producers. As I teased on my shorts at Disneyland.

37:01Ant McPartlin:I'm going to say Jack any one of us could have said this I'll say Anne

37:05Declan Donnelly:I'll say Jack

37:07Ant McPartlin:it's Ant oh well done

37:09Declan Donnelly:what was it about? Armistoleb yeah it feels very Armistoleb what as in just the whole series? because it's been doing pretty well Bush took a trial a Bush took a trial a Bush took a trial at some point in the series yeah okay fair enough next quote I was laughing so much I thought I was gonna pee myself that's you that is you said pee you said pee have you ever been you've been to one of my shows right yeah yeah I remember you came and I heard you saying this on the way out in fact I think this was on the poster yes yes yes yes I laughed so much I thought I was going to pee myself Declan Donnelly yeah when was the last time you laughed so much you thought you were going to pee yourself

37:48Ant McPartlin:I can tell you exactly was in this very room when Ant took on the Guinness World Record for eating bananas the most bananas in one minute the world record was eight bananas. Guess how many he did.

38:00Declan Donnelly:Which I thought I would smash.

38:02Ant McPartlin:Guess how many he did in one minute. How many? One. But was he making eye contact with you?

38:10Declan Donnelly:Because that that is a contributing factor to how quickly you can eat a banana. That is true. It's very hard to eat a banana if you're making eye contact with another man. That's true. That's so good.

38:24Ant McPartlin:That is true. That's so good. So I think that was my last time.

38:28Declan Donnelly:I'm going to see me. Yeah, I'll see him as well then. Yeah. It's Ant. Huh? It's you. It's when I went to see Jack Whitehall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was laughing so hard on people's stuff. On Britain's Got Talent. On Britain's Got Talent in 2022. Oh, 2022. Ah, funny year. That was a very funny year. Very funny year. I remember exactly.

38:44Ant McPartlin:I enjoy staring intensely at strangers whilst I eat bananas.

38:48Declan Donnelly:It was Jack Whitehall. Jack Whitehall. Jack Whitehall literally just said it. I literally just said it. That was so quickly. It was incredible. Yeah, well done. How did you type that fast? And how did you get it in the italics so quickly? Jack Whitehall. Jack Whitehall. I think I have said this. It is Jack Whitehall. He's such a creep now. He's just regurgitating his own material on podcasts.

39:10Ant McPartlin:So, Jack, and I'm still in the lead. I want to come and break the Guinness World Record for the most bananas eat while seductively staring at another man. Yeah, I'm not sure that is a role. How many bananas can you eat in public while staring at another man before getting beaten up? that's Guinness World Record let's try and break that let's try and break that in Disneyland wrapped in a balloon oh god is this the last quote? this is the last one the last quote of the day oh god I'm sweating Harry Styles has shaved his hair off question mark he looks fit with hair he looked even fitter without it Jack I've said that it feels quite me again yeah it does feel like you but I am a bit thirsty with Harry.

39:57I really am. I historically have been a little, yeah, a little bit over eager. Yeah, okay. So it sounds like it's probably something that you've said.

40:06Ant McPartlin:I think it might be one of us.

40:09Declan Donnelly:No. Could be me, actually. Because I do find Harry Styles quite fit. He's a good looking man, isn't he? Great. He is, isn't he? Oh, I'll say me. For the purposes of just being different, I'll say, you're saying you? I think I've said it. I'm saying me. Why don't you say you? I'm saying me. Just for the crack.

40:23Ant McPartlin:It is Anne. Yeah.

40:25Declan Donnelly:Does that mean I've won? Yeah. What do I win? Ant has won the quiz. What do I win? Bring me my banana. Yeah, yes, please. Now sit right there and watch me eat it.

40:38Ant McPartlin:Look into my eyes. We've got a very special prize. I thought Jack was going to win this. So I got a prize more tailored to Jack. It's an Arga. Jack is famously a big fan of eggs. the same as me really so you love eggs as well I mean yeah I like I like eggs I don't again I don't remember saying that I was a massive fan of eggs but I'm clearly selling somewhere and now it's going to be perpetuated definitely on Google yeah

41:08Declan Donnelly:so today's prize

41:09Ant McPartlin:is half of the snacks wow

41:11Declan Donnelly:well thank you very much yes thank you so much for being on the podcast thank you thank you very much cheers have a good start thank you very kind of you boobs are on telly now and you go on on tour next year we're going on to come and see it and I'll laugh so hard I'll pee myself I'm just going to sit in the front row eating bananas and stare at you we should do that we should do that you really should yeah we should okay you're waddling in your balloon and you with a banana

41:43Ant McPartlin:thanks for coming thank you

41:45Declan Donnelly:Jack Whitehall thank you so much thank you now there's a sofa out there if you'd like enough that was nice wasn't it

41:53Ant McPartlin:What a lovely fella. Isn't he lovely?

41:55Declan Donnelly:He is, isn't he?

41:56Ant McPartlin:Good. Good hair.

41:56Declan Donnelly:Is this what it's like around your hairdressers? This is what it's like in the hairdressers all the time. Maybe that's where you can book guests from now on just next time you get a haircut. Just go, you haven't been on, can you come in? Who else goes? David Gandhi. Gandhi's there. Yeah, we'll always have him. Niall. Niall Horan. Yeah. Yeah, we'll always have him. He's in there. Who else? Matt Smith.

42:12Ant McPartlin:Matt Smith? Yeah. Doctor Who? Doctor Who. Yeah, we'll have him. All them. Great, okay. I'll book them all get booking coming up in the next few weeks good everybody maybe we'll get everybody here maybe if we get everybody here and I'll get Larry in Larry King and he can come on

42:23Declan Donnelly:yeah haircut live it's like an item on this morning I love it

42:27Ant McPartlin:let's do that Jack took his egg he did which I'm quite disappointed at I thought I was going to have a full half dozen there because you don't want these I don't want them

42:34Declan Donnelly:no don't like them I'm intolerant to egg yorks egg jokes egg yorks egg yorks egg yorks egg yorks I love

42:44Ant McPartlin:that's it for today yeah We'll be back on Thursday with the main pod. Really good fun. Yeah. Well done. Well booked. Thanks. We'll see you back here Thursday for the main pod. Until then.

42:53Declan Donnelly:Respect guys. Respect guys. See ya.

42:55Ant McPartlin:Stick me eggs.