Kylie Minogue Rides Ant Like A Horse & Dec Loses It (AGAIN!)

12:58Declan Donnelly:She goes, we can't. We can't eat here. She goes, I'm going to have to go and say what. She goes, go and speak to them. I said, about what? And say what? That my wife thinks she saw the chef. She goes, I didn't think. I did see him. I did see him pick his nose. So I said, I'm not going to go in there because I didn't see it. So I kind of put the blame right on her. So anyway, she went in. She went, I'm going to have to do it because he was hungry. I was starving. So she goes in and she said to the woman, she goes, I've just seen the chef picking his nose. She goes, he's not going to handle the croissants, is he?

13:32Declan Donnelly:And then she goes, to be fair to the waiter, she goes, I'll do that. She goes, I'll bag the croissants for you. She goes, if you want to take them to go and stuff. She goes, I'll make sure I'll handle everything. And she did. We got the croissants of coffee and we left. What would you do? What would you do? It's a good question. If you saw a chef picking his nose in an open kitchen, could you still order food there? Yes. Could you still eat there? Yes.

14:01Ant McPartlin:What? He turns his sausages with tongs. He's not going to touch me sausages. What about a croissant though? Yeah, I wouldn't order the croissants. That's the worst thing to order. Why? Because he has to pick them up. With his hands, with his borgie fingers? Yeah. I don't know why she went croissants. Croissants is the worst thing. It is?

14:17Declan Donnelly:Unless you turn your sausages with tongs. It's true. And your bacon with tongs with the little ladle thing. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Should have gone, yeah, he should have done that. It did put me right off. I couldn't really eat the croissant. I kind of picked that. I let Walei eat loads of it because it doesn't matter. He's full of borgies and milk and snot, isn't he? Anyway, he poops himself twice a day. so what's a little boogie gonna do he's gotta build

14:42Ant McPartlin:his immune system

14:42Declan Donnelly:anyway yeah exactly

14:44Ant McPartlin:but you know enough of me you're a bit queasy anyway aren't you what do you mean queasy well like if it's if there's a day left on the used bar you won't eat it I used to be like that I'm less like that now you're a bit better now

14:55Declan Donnelly:I'm a little bit better you'll eat anything oh yeah he will though he will literally eat anything I won't eat anything you will I won't you absolutely won't I won't I will not What about if it's been on the floor? How many second rule for each of you? Five. Depends what it is. Chicken nugget? Chicken nugget. Oh, that's fine. It's got a protective chair. Good question. Chicken nugget's okay. You can blow stuff off like a chicken nugget. Or it's a boiled sweet that's been in your mouth. That's gone. Oh, yeah. Because things are clinging to that. You've definitely got a bit of hair on that. Banana.

15:30Declan Donnelly:You can't. You cannot. Banana. Honestly, you drop a little bit of banana, everything sticks to it. I know. I know these things. Once it's gone, it's gone. What if you dropped a piece of banana in a bathroom, like a tiled bathroom? How near the toilet? Closer to the bath. Is it my toilet? Because my toilets are very clean. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. What's the worst thing you've dropped on a toilet? What's the worst thing you've dropped on a toilet? Mobiles? mobile phone, a lot. Not so much anymore. It used to be a thing. I used to do it loads.

16:08Ant McPartlin:It's the, when it's in your back pocket. Yeah. And you pull your trousers down and go, plop. Not the plop you're expecting.

16:16Declan Donnelly:Oh no. Done that. My coat fell down. Your coat? My coat. Well, jacket. I was in a public toilet and there was nothing to hang me coat on, but I really wanted to take my jacket off because I just needed to sit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where did you put it? Well, I kind of held it under my arm. Held it under my arm like this. And then as I flushed like this, I stood up and it just slipped. It was just slipped out under my arm and went into the toilet. And it got so wet. Like, I know. Of course it would get wet, but it was really soggy. Try explaining a soggy jacket when you come out of the toilet. It's impossible.

17:00Ant McPartlin:Because had you flushed? Yeah, I flushed. So it was gushing. It was gushing and I think the flush

17:04Declan Donnelly:sucked it in more.

17:09Ant McPartlin:Oh dear, oh dear.

17:11Declan Donnelly:This is an advert for Santander who understand that saving for your first home can feel almost impossible and the road to owning can be a bumpy one.

17:20Ant McPartlin:Do you remember the day we went to view a house for me, my very first house? Yeah, I bought one myself.

17:26Declan Donnelly:You bought one of five. Well, I went along to help you, didn't I?

17:29Ant McPartlin:Well, because I wanted your opinion. It's such a big deal, isn't it? to invest in a property for the very first time. And it's such a lot of money and it's a big commitment. It's a big grown-up decision to make. Yeah, it is. I really wanted somebody else's opinion. You needed support. I needed support. So he asked for me. Well, yes. You know, you were my best friend at the time. Thank you. What do you mean at the time? So I just wanted somebody there to back up that I was doing the right thing.

17:54Declan Donnelly:What can I say? Everybody needs someone like me in their lives. Imagine what it's like for first-time buyers now.

18:01Ant McPartlin:Oh, I think it's even harder nowadays. It is. It's like you've got a mountain to climb to do it. But did you know that Santander have first-time buyer mortgages with deposits starting from just£10 ,000, even on larger loans? Yes, I did know that recorded in advert for just that last week.

18:17Declan Donnelly:Now, over to Lola for the T's and C's. Lola, you're on. Hit it. You may lose your home if you don't keep up your mortgage payments. Mortgage subject to status and lending policy. 500k max loan on houses with a 10k deposit. Min 5 % deposit is required Flats, new build and properties in Northern Ireland Santander UK PLC It's not a competition but you were better than Fiona

18:41Ant McPartlin:Although Fiona can we have a little trumpet from you? That's very good Oh yeah she's better at that Visit Santander.co.uk for more details Santander it starts here I wanted to ask you about your bananas What about them? Did they ripen on Saturday? Oh yeah, my bananas. There was a rigmarole at the show on Saturday. Well, just to look up. We got there. Hans got his rider, which is obviously a bunch of bananas. Yeah. A rider is your demands for your dressing room. It's not a demand. It's not a demand. It's a list of demands. It's a request.

19:15Declan Donnelly:It's not a demand.

19:19Ant McPartlin:And Hans' rider is a bunch of bananas and some weird tea.

19:25Declan Donnelly:What is that tea? It's like a detox tea. Detox tea. It's very weird. Cinnamon tea. Yeah, it's sweet. Lovely. Malawi. Himalayan. What are you, salt of the people? Green tea.

19:34Ant McPartlin:Green tea and some sleepy time tea. Yeah. And chocolate buttons. And some chocolate buttons. But I got a big bunch of bananas on his rider that he demanded. And... Requested. He wasn't very happy because they were a bit green. They were very ripe. Yeah, they were awful.

19:49Declan Donnelly:But he took steps. He took steps. I did took steps. Yeah. What did you do? Well, my wife was there and she said, well, you leave them in the sun. So I went out on this little balcony. outside our dressing room and I left them there but then I forgot about them and only remember when the sun had gone down.

20:02Ant McPartlin:So I remember after the show. After the show. We're getting changed out of our tuxedos and I heard,

20:06Declan Donnelly:oh, my bananas!

20:09Ant McPartlin:I thought he'd got his zipper coat.

20:11Declan Donnelly:This is how rock and roll I get these days, guys. Oh, my bananas ripened. And had they ripened? No, but by Sunday they were perfect. Oh, lovely. So when I wasn't very full from the half a croissant I just signed it out. Two bananas when I got home. Few. for you talking about bananas can I finish off my banana rating for Legends which is the Steve Coogan show on Netflix yes War on Drugs War on Drugs set in the late 80s early 90s very good I give it a very strong seven bananas oh that is good seven strong bananas strong ripe bananas left out in the sun one caveat one one little little criticism just a tiny teeny weeny criticism This is why it's not an eight.

20:57Declan Donnelly:Is, I think there's one, and if you watch it, let me know if you agree. There is one cast member who I think has been cast badly. Ooh. So there's one character in the show that, and I won't give anything away if you haven't seen it, but you watch the show and you go, I don't believe he would be capable of doing that. Right. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't think he was cast right. Okay. But that's it. But the rest is superb. Very good.

21:25Ant McPartlin:I've just done the first episode which I liked it a lot good so I am looking forward to finishing that well circle back and

21:32Declan Donnelly:give us a banana

21:33Ant McPartlin:seven bananas is promising

21:34Declan Donnelly:seven bananas is promising have you guys seen the Kylie doc the Kylie doc no I haven't yet no you're in it we're in it we're in the Kylie doc you are in the Kylie doc oh god is she talking about when we went out with each other because that we were never meant to talk about that you guys have worked with her lots though

21:49Ant McPartlin:yeah we have yeah she is so so lovely the loveliest loveliest even when I was in a pair of gold hot pants thrusting next to her head she was so lovely about it why were you in that situation we did it on Saturday Night Takeaway as an end of the show show the celebration of Kylie and was dressed in the white thing with the headdress doing la la la he was doing I saw that outfit

22:16Declan Donnelly:hanging up at the office the other day did you? yeah I don't know why it's like someone's tried on for the weekend because it was at the front of the rail I thought that's not normally at the front of the rail. Lola. I did. Lola. La la la. La la la la la.

22:32Ant McPartlin:La la la la. La la la la la.

22:36Declan Donnelly:And yeah, I was going hot pants in the spinning around. Yes. But we weren't with that loads. We weren't with her on Saturday mornings as well on SNTV Live. She came on. I think she rode me like a horse. She did? Yeah, she did. Calum and I rode me like a horse. Yeah, we did. Was it a deck says or a secret? I love that. You need to explain that one a bit more. Kylie Billing wrote me like, I was the horse and she got on the back of me and wrote me. She was dressed as a princess.

22:58Ant McPartlin:Like a medieval princess. I still think we need more explanation for that. It was Saturday morning television. What more explanation do you need? Were you a knight or something? And then you became a horse and she got on the back of you and started. And wrote me like a horse. We'll find the clip. Yeah, we'll find the clip. We'll put it on Belterbox. Yeah. Because I'm sure there was a method to it. There was method in the madness. Yeah, there was.

23:17Declan Donnelly:I don't think we just... There was a point. Or maybe...

23:19Ant McPartlin:It wasn't in rehearsals. Or maybe we just sat around the script meeting that week and I went, I'd like Kylie to ride me like a horse this weekend, if that's okay, guys. I've had an idea for a sketch.

23:32Declan Donnelly:There's no beginning, there's no middle, there's no end. But I have to be ridden like a horse by Kylie Malone. Whoa, great. Oh, I nearly caught that one as well. A plane's just come in. A plane's just arrived with some hot, fresh news. That was a very good throw, by the way, over the light. It was really good. You used the thermals of the light to land gently. I liked it. Guys. Guys. Following jokes in our dump episode. Do we really have to call it a dump episode? I think it's caught on, hasn't it?

24:00Ant McPartlin:Mind your jacket. There's a dump episode coming.

24:03Declan Donnelly:Following jokes in our dump episode, listeners have sent in, and Heckless Corner have sent some in to some jokes. Jokes. Brilliant. What happened to the man who made the polo? What happened to the man who made a polo?

24:17Ant McPartlin:He. Made the polo. The Polo. He, um, something about a hole. Minty hole. I better stop guessing there. Go on. He made a mint. Oh, good. That's good. Well done, Laura. That is better.

24:34Declan Donnelly:Hi, Hangout Crew. Hope you like my jokes. One, driving past the field of cows, how can you tell which cow is on its holidays? Because it is... The one with the wee cough. We cough Okay yeah Okay okay Okay When I read it It didn't work But when I said it It worked That's a Scottish joke How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Hmm I don't know Poker face That's good Okay that's good Great And you've got some Have you They're not written down You're just going to tell us verbally I just got one Okay Come on Lola Okay What do you call a man Who can't stand?

25:16Ant McPartlin:What do you call a man A man you can't stand. A man who can't stand. Just who can't stand. That list is too long.

25:24That is the longest.

25:28Ant McPartlin:I don't know. Neil.

25:32How do we not get that?

25:33Declan Donnelly:I don't know. I'm so disappointed in myself. I'm so annoyed at myself. Oh, I do have one. Go on. Go on. What kind of bee makes milk? Oh, I know this. I know this. Very nourishing milk. Come on. Come on. A boobie. A boobie! That's a good joke.

25:54Ant McPartlin:What's the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls? Two months. Seasoning. What's the best thing about Switzerland? Skein, cheese, cows. Well, its flag is a big plus.

26:17Declan Donnelly:That's good.

26:18Ant McPartlin:That is good, isn't it?

26:19Declan Donnelly:That is good. That's good.

26:21Ant McPartlin:I see the diary's back again. It's time for the diary once again. There's not many days left. Oh, what are you going to do? We're coming to the end of the diary. We're going to have to think of more things to talk about. We've only got a few weeks left. But as we've said before, let's not cry because it's over. Let's smile because it happened. We haven't said that before.

26:42Declan Donnelly:Do we have a jingle? We do. This is from Pete Backler. Hit it, Pete.

27:07Declan Donnelly:Very good. Well done, Pete. A fade. Repeat to fade. I like that. It's quite 90s. Very 90s. 90s, a bit like suede. Yeah, jangly 90s guitars.

27:17Ant McPartlin:Jangly 90s guitar pop. We like that. We like that a lot. 17th of April, 1994. Day 21 of Life on the Road. It's a long, hard slog, isn't it? Sure is, but it's an exciting day. Why? Chart day. It's chart day, isn't it? Chart day.

27:33Declan Donnelly:I've written that twice. Have you written it twice, mate? Chart day, chart day, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. Can't say the word. Exclamation mark.

27:43Ant McPartlin:travelled in the car with Dom Kim Annie and Ant of course of course so that was our little management team and stopped off at South Mims Services oh one of the better service stations out there nice South Mims South Mims very good where we met up with Nicky Graham yeah Denny Liu and Michael the Why Me writing team yeah they wrote the song

28:06Declan Donnelly:and produced the song listened nervously to the radio what do you look like listening nervously how can you listen nervously oh I'll let you go

28:15Ant McPartlin:yeah

28:16Declan Donnelly:yeah that was it oh oh

28:19Ant McPartlin:come on come on Bruno Brooks come on Bruno Brooks quicker oh and the final position was

28:2927

28:29Declan Donnelly:oh oh take it back take it back put them back in put them back in we went down the charts we went down the charts guys yeah

28:37Ant McPartlin:I would have loved underlined to have stayed at 25 so would I But hey, 27 is just great.

28:44Declan Donnelly:Did you say that stochastically? Or is that, are you being philosophical?

28:49Ant McPartlin:Two exclamation marks. Philosophical, I think. Yeah, philosophical, I think so. Travelled on after phone calls and lots of group hugs. God, I hate group hugs. Lots of group hugs. Yeah, no, lots.

29:00Declan Donnelly:How many times? I don't know. How many times did we group hug? I don't know. That you would put lots of group hugs. Lots of group hugs. Well done. Seriously, well done. Like, why go back to the third?

29:10Ant McPartlin:I don't know if we split it off into smaller groups.

29:13Declan Donnelly:And hugged. Did you have more group hugs when I went to Lewis? Maybe I just kept going back in. Yeah, I suppose when you've been on the road as well for a long time, any kind of physical contact is nice, you know?

29:26Ant McPartlin:We travelled on after phone calls and lots of group hugging to Newcastle underlying. What? Boy, that was s***.

29:37Ant McPartlin:Such a letdown after the chart.

29:39Declan Donnelly:Oh, what a shit. I mean, the chart was a letdown in itself, so we're even more letdown. Yeah. Where did we play in Newcastle Under Lime? The Hippodrome. The Hippodrome. The Hippodrome.

29:49Ant McPartlin:Hmm.

29:50Declan Donnelly:Wasn't great. No. There's no Newcastle upon time, is it? Let's face it. No. Newcastle Under Lime.

29:55Ant McPartlin:The second gig in Staffordshire at the Coliseum was Brill. Brill.

30:02Declan Donnelly:No one says Brill anymore, do they? They don't, do they? Brill. Was that a 90s thing, Brill? Why have we dropped the Eant? It's just your bit. Yeah, why have you dropped the my bit of brilliant?

30:16Ant McPartlin:I don't like it.

30:17Declan Donnelly:Yeah, it's just, it's not necessary, is it?

30:19Ant McPartlin:It's so unnecessary. Brill's fine, we get it. You don't need the eant. Let's bring back Brill. Brill back Brill. Lose the eant. Bring back Brill. The eant is unnecessary. Can we pop the I back on the Brilli? Brilli. Brilli, no, shut up.

30:38Declan Donnelly:Then that's completely me gone. Out of brilliant.

30:40Ant McPartlin:Brilliant.

30:41Declan Donnelly:Second one at Staffordshire was brilli.

30:43Ant McPartlin:No, and? Brilliant. It livened up a bit. Good. The long journey home only broken by a curry break. Oh, yes. Stop for a curry. And a bottle of champagne to toast our first chart entry. Curry and champagne. Imagine that the next day. It's giving me the gesture just thinking about it.

31:03Declan Donnelly:Someone's got any readies just from reading the diary. Don't drop your jacket down the toilet that day. I wouldn't be fishing that out I'd be leaving it in there May there be many more And there was Cheers Cheers

31:17Ant McPartlin:Life on the road

31:18Declan Donnelly:Well done Well done Congratulations anyway 27 Not be sniffed at it Number 27 Well done That's alright How brilliant Do you want to know who the top 10 were? Oh yeah Go on Who's the top 10 that week? 10 You Are The Best by D Ream Yeah I know I am But what's the title of the song? Number 9 Rock My Heart by Hadaway Hadaway 8. I'll Remember by Madonna No, I don't funny Ironically I don't remember 7. Like to move it I like to move it, move it

31:49Ant McPartlin:I like to move it, move it You like to move it Number 6. The Real Thing by Tony DeBart Number 5. The Sign by The Ace of Base I saw the sign And it opened up my eyes I saw the sign

32:04Declan Donnelly:It makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn't it?

32:06Ant McPartlin:Doop by Doop. Doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop. Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springsteen. Streets of Philadelphia. My clothes don't fit me no more. Yeah, I get it. To the most beautiful girl in the world by Symbol. Could you be the most beautiful girl in the world? Who do you think number one was?

32:28Declan Donnelly:Number one was Edwin Collins. I've never known a girl like you before. No.

32:37Ant McPartlin:Top Lorda, Dancing in the Moonlight. No, does begin with T. The Turtles. No, the. The Terrifics. No, the. The Tremolos. No, the. No, the. I thought you were going, no, the. Oh, no, never say the.

32:57Declan Donnelly:Top Lorda, Dancing in the Moonlight. That's how he started. That's how I wasn't listening. No, the.

33:11Declan Donnelly:Oh, God, just tell us for Christ's sake. Take that. Take that. Everything changes. No, the.

33:24Declan Donnelly:Oh, God. Oh, my God. Sweating in here. No, the.

33:33Ant McPartlin:This podcast is brought to you by Gemini, Google's personal AI assistant. He's late again, as per, isn't he?

33:43Declan Donnelly:He's always late.

33:44Ant McPartlin:You started this bit yet? Not yet.

33:47Declan Donnelly:Are we on? Well, we're on now. Now you've turned up. Why are you always late? I'm on time, aren't I? You're not. You're late. You're always late. I'm going to ask Gemini. Gemini, can you give me some radical ideas on how to stop my friend being late. Perhaps orchestrating a surprise intervention with all your friends to highlight the impact. Gemini, yes, your ideas are fantastic. Can I speak to Gemini for a moment? Yes, you can.

34:14Ant McPartlin:Hi Gemini, Deck here. Could you give me some believable excuses for why I am a few minutes late quite a lot of the time, please? Certainly Deck. You could try saying perhaps a bizarre traffic delay caused by something unexpected, like a public performance in the middle of the road. That's great. Are those the kind of things you're thinking of? Yes, absolutely spot on. Thanks, Gemini. Thanks, Gemini. With Gemini, you can chat live with a truly helpful AI assistant. You jump in, brainstorm ideas, ask for more details, or even show it what you're talking about by sharing your screen or camera as well.

34:57Ant McPartlin:It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done.

35:00Declan Donnelly:Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone. Check responses, setup required, compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus.

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37:13Ant McPartlin:I'm a little bit sad. Why? Football's all over for another season. Well, it's not, is it? Well, but then I'm quite excited. Yeah. Because got the World Cup. I can't wait. I'm very excited.

37:24Declan Donnelly:There's nothing better than a summer with tournament football.

37:26Ant McPartlin:World Cup summer or a Euro summer is that best. It's brilliant. It's the best. I love it. It's also, around the start of the World Cup, it is also Best Friends Day. Did you know that? No. Best Friends Day. You know I love a day. Yes. Best Friends Day is coming up. So, I thought we could have a little Best Friends quiz. Oh yeah, go on then. And see how well we know each other. I've been reading some questions. Because we've never done this before, have we, Mr. and Mr.?

37:50Declan Donnelly:Never, never. Who's written the questions? We did. Heckless Corner. Okay, and we're going to ask each other the questions. Yeah, but I thought, because it's the World Cup, we could do it like a penalty shooter. Oh, very good. Put a graphic on there. Yeah, best of everyone. You've got a cheer and a boo on your cover. Goal miss, goal miss.

38:10Declan Donnelly:I like it. You know I love a sound effect. He's got three of his favourite things in this. He's got sound effects, a day, and me.

38:21Ant McPartlin:let's have the questions then right okay who wants to go first me I'm from the Enigalona we don't do a toying course a toying course a toying course a coin course

38:30Declan Donnelly:I've got one of you being honest go on then which hands are you that one oh how did you get that yeah I'll go first because I know you so I know you so well you put it in that one then you put it behind your back and you would have thought I would have thought you would have stopped it but I know you you couldn't be put it you're so annoying kept it in the same hand okay i win yeah one to me right the first question is do i keep my ketchup in the cupboard or in the

39:03Ant McPartlin:fridge oh this is a very very good question so i would think you can't be bothered to keep it in the fridge however i know what you're like and uh you you don't like best before dates or used by dates and you don't like chefs picking their nose and giving you croissants no i don't so i think in the interests of hygiene and longevity you keep your tomato ketchup in the fridge It is correct. It is in the fridge. Question one for you. What time is my alarm set to on my phone?

39:476.30am.

39:51Ant McPartlin:It's 6.45.

39:52Declan Donnelly:Oh, give over. Give over. You can't. What? Well, it's 6.45. I was right in the ballpark, the same ballpark there. Yeah. You hit the post. Next question. Can you name all of my tattoos?

40:04Ant McPartlin:You just want me to give them names? Certainly. Brian, Terry.

40:10Declan Donnelly:Yeah, damn it. Damn it. He's getting the system. Well, you've got your family tree. Yeah.

40:17Ant McPartlin:Your John Lennon.

40:18Declan Donnelly:Yeah.

40:19Ant McPartlin:You have got your dates. You've got your A-heart. You've got your wings. You've got your northeast.

40:31Declan Donnelly:Yeah, oh, he's good.

40:34Ant McPartlin:I look at you quite a lot when you've got my clothes. You have got your play pose. Yes. And the doggy outline. Very good. Is that all of them?

40:48Declan Donnelly:No, you missed a few. What have I missed? So you've missed, I've got stars there. Oh, goddammit. I've got my triangle circle symbol there. I've got my... Of course, you've got loads. Some really healthy one there. I've got an arrow on this one. Yeah. I've got Poppy and Daisy on this arm. Oh, I miss tons. You miss loads. You miss loads. So you missed by miles. That's in the crowd. That is in the crowd. Over the bar. Over the bar.

41:14Ant McPartlin:Oh, it's me. Yeah. Who's my most listened to artist?

41:19Declan Donnelly:Oh, come on. Have you ever listened to a playlist that Deck has compiled? Honestly, it's like something was put together in the 1940s. It's got like the Goon show on there. It has? I'm like, what is this song? This is easy. It's very eclectic. But I'll go for Sam Fender. It's Sam Fender. Of course it is. Of course it is.

41:45Ant McPartlin:I would have also accepted... The Beatles? Lady Gaga. What? Because for some reason she was my Spotify... Oh yeah, she was, wasn't she?

41:52Declan Donnelly:...unwrapped artist last year. I don't know why. If I could jump into a pool of anything, what would it be full of?

42:04Declan Donnelly:what a stupid question it's brilliant it's a brilliant question well done stupid people over there

42:11Ant McPartlin:I'm right on board with this stupidity I'm thinking bananas could you jump into a pool of bananas peel bananas final answer lock it in Jeremy it's not bananas

42:24Declan Donnelly:chocolate chocolate obviously I mean I might hurt myself not if it's melted oh melted galaxy chocolate like Augustus Gloop oh yes it's how I want to go it's how I'd like to go

42:41Ant McPartlin:right what's the first thing I do when I wake up you have a big long dehydrated wee I take the dog for his breakfast and then he goes to the garden for a wee he has a wee and I have a wee right in the garden

42:57Declan Donnelly:so there's that so that's cool so that's cool I love weaning in the garden. Keep going. Tell us more. Well, just when the dogs go out for their wee, I like to have my wee at the same time. Yeah, I used to do it more when I had me Labrador because, I don't know, we're just, that's how we were all together. It was just what he was used to. He'd do it, I'd do it. The little two don't wee as, they're not as in sync with me as the Labrador was. Sometimes they'll wee, sometimes they'll just chase squirrels. So you just don't know. And you don't want to do that. I don't want to chase squirrels.

43:30Ant McPartlin:I'm not as quick as squirrels. I still do it every night. It's freeing, isn't it? Yeah, I love it. Going out to the garden, take Rocky Freeze Nighttime wee. Yeah. While he's gone, I go, might as well just do mine here as well. Yeah. Save lots of times. Saves a flush.

43:43Declan Donnelly:Does.

43:43Ant McPartlin:In case I wet my cagoule. Saves water.

43:46Declan Donnelly:Cagoule.

43:47Ant McPartlin:In case I drop my cagoule down the bog. I'll just do it here.

43:52Declan Donnelly:Right. What's my favourite season?

43:57Declan Donnelly:why do you have to say it like that I don't know I just I felt like I needed that voice what's my favourite season

44:07Ant McPartlin:I think it is spring correct correct it's been a long hard winter I love spring because you get chocolate eggs at Easter yeah yeah I know you I know you right okay then okay you Come on

44:27Declan Donnelly:Let me see Yeah That's not Icky is it What New ick unlocked Dex doing that What is

44:37Ant McPartlin:My Favourite Yoga pose Downward dog You dirty

44:44Declan Donnelly:Downward dog

44:49Declan Donnelly:It's everybody's favourite yoga pose isn't it Is it Yes What is my favourite flavour ice cream? That's so easy. If you don't know this, you don't know me at all. And we have a problem.

45:07Ant McPartlin:I do know. Yes. It's something nutty.

45:13Ant McPartlin:Is it not nutty?

45:14Declan Donnelly:What would I choose for a death row meal? I know. Dessert. Yeah, I know. Come on then.

45:25Ant McPartlin:Just wait a minute. It is. And he says this with some confidence. Vanilla. Yes, it is. Well done. Why did you struggle?

45:38Declan Donnelly:Because I thought it was pistachio. I do like pistachio. Yeah, I know you do. But it's always, if we're doing like a death row meal game, my favourite dessert ever in the world is just vanilla ice cream.

45:50Ant McPartlin:We should play that. We should. Death row dinners. Yeah. I'd be interested for everybody else's death row dinner you're getting executed first thing in the morning what are you having tonight I'm too nervous to eat oh no you've come to terms with it you've come to terms with it you're fine you're fine and it was a victimless crime it was like corporate fraud

46:06Declan Donnelly:but they're killing you for that yeah

46:08Ant McPartlin:it was on a large scale oh okay right right it was a large scale anywho if I could have a superpower

46:15Declan Donnelly:like it'd be invisible oh yes I knew it I knew it I knew it I knew it I've won! I've won! Well done. Thank you. Thank you. Seems I know you best.

46:31Ant McPartlin:Seems it does. What was your last question?

46:34Declan Donnelly:What's my favourite memory of you? You've got a lot to choose from there. Could be anything. What's my favourite memory of you? What is my favourite memory of you? I've got so many good memories. We've done so much together. We've travelled the world together. we continue to work together we laugh a lot

46:53Ant McPartlin:yeah

46:54Declan Donnelly:just laughing my favourite memory is laughing yeah you know you really make me laugh and long may it continue still be still be funny oh stupid just don't do it laughing

47:09Ant McPartlin:yeah I would say that favourite memory is travelling the world having laughs having fun and amazing experiences what?

47:19Declan Donnelly:like You're not filling out some kind of like, what do you like about this hotel?

47:25Ant McPartlin:I like it when we go swimming.

47:27Declan Donnelly:What? We don't go swimming. You never go swimming. Yeah, we do. We don't. When do we go swimming? When do we go swimming? We do. We don't. We don't go swimming. Why are you laughing at this? Yeah, we do. We don't. All right, I go swimming. You go swimming.

47:48Ant McPartlin:We never grow up at the same time. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we play catch. Shut up. We play catch and dive sticks.

47:59Ant McPartlin:Are you ready for some letters from our listeners and viewers? Yes. I'll go and get the postbag.

48:05Declan Donnelly:Yes, yes. You could have got the postbag because I'm always ready for letters. You could just have the letters ready because I am ready to read them. He is ready, ready. He is ready, ready. He is ready to read them. You take that one. Who wants to go first? Me. Me, me, me. Hi, Andec. Want to get your thoughts on the new concept of celebs all in footy clubs and if you guys would ever consider it. E.g. Ryan Reynolds, Tom Brady, the class of 92. If you could buy any team and try and get them up, who and why love and respect Connor? Ooh. Great letter, Connor. Great letter. Great letter. I mean, of course, we'd buy Newcastle United, but...

48:46Declan Donnelly:Ooh, not anymore. Not anymore. We can't afford that. Out of my price range. They're out of our price bracket.

48:51Ant McPartlin:There must be a good club up in the... Gateshead? Mm, Gateshead. That'd be good. Gateshead would be a good one. Or there's like Newcastle Blues Star. Yeah. Or Blythe Spartans. Or Heaton Stan or one of those kind of good non-league clubs.

49:06Declan Donnelly:Be another North East team, I think, that we were trying.

49:09Ant McPartlin:Yeah.

49:09Declan Donnelly:Get up there. Get up there. The football leagues. Very good. It will be good. It sounds like a lot of work, though. It does, doesn't it? And a lot of cash. It's the quickest way to becoming a millionaire on a football club if you're a billionaire.

49:25Ant McPartlin:Takes a lot of money. And I don't like spending money. I like keeping it in me mattress.

49:36Declan Donnelly:No, it would be very expensive. It would be very expensive. And I just, I mean, I'd just like to go to football and support the team. Yeah. I'd rather not know what's the ins and outs here.

49:47Ant McPartlin:KSI's got Dagenham and Redbridge now, hasn't he? Why? No, but why? He obviously loves the idea of it.

49:53Declan Donnelly:I need to speak to him about it because I'd like to know exactly why Dagenham and Redbridge. Because is he from Dagenham? He's not, is he? Well, mind you saying that Ryan Reynolds isn't from Wrexham, is he? No, I don't think he is. And Tom Brady's not from Birmingham. No. So I suppose it makes no... Birmingham, Alabama. Makes no difference.

50:12Ant McPartlin:Got a letter here from Hattie. aged nine from Stamford in Lincolnshire Mummy and I love your podcast Thank you Mummy and Hattie We listen together every week we would give it eight bananas and eight eggs Thank you forget the eggs who brought the eggs back into it? I would like to ask you a question have you ever read The Beano when you were younger? Yes It's really good and in one of the Beano's you both feature on Dennis' 10th birthday photo attached for you to see respect guys love from Hattie

50:41Declan Donnelly:Two grown men paid to behave like seven year olds and somehow still the nicest chaos on TV. Ah, what a backhanded compliment that is.

50:51Ant McPartlin:They're quite interesting drawings, aren't they? Aren't they?

50:53Declan Donnelly:I'm wearing a lot of mascara.

50:56Ant McPartlin:And lipstick. And lipstick, yeah. And I've got my butt cut back. That's great. Yes, Hattie, I have read The Beano. And in fact, when I was younger, I was in The Beano fan club. Same here. That was the one fan club I joined. It's an honour to be in The Beano.

51:09Declan Donnelly:It really is. Love that. Hi, Hatton Deck. This is more of an observation that makes me giggle while watching you two on live TV and want them to know your thoughts. Uh-oh. Oh, here we go. I watched BGT Live this weekend. Or the final? BGT Live. Do we call it that? No, I've never called it that. No, I've never called it that. Welcome back to BGT Live. When you guys ask the act's question in after their act, a lot of the time they will grab the microphone from you and start speaking. Yes, they do. They do. It really makes me giggle when you're trying to get the microphone back as fast as possible, especially Dec.

51:48Declan Donnelly:Obviously, because it's live TV, you have a time frame, right? That's right. I was wondering if it actually feels like you're fighting for your life, trying to stay on track with the live TV time frame as much as it looks.

52:01Ant McPartlin:Respect, Ellie. Well, here's the thing. Yes, Ellie. Here is the thing. You're absolutely right. We're up against it for time during Britain's Got Talent. and because we wear earpieces to the people in the gallery and we have to finish at a certain time and we have to hit the commercial breaks and whatnot. So we have earpieces to the people in charge. None of the judges have earpieces. So they just chat away. And a lot of the time they chat for a bit too long. So we have to make up the time elsewhere. And sometimes that is where we had two or three questions to enact. Maybe we have to go back to one question.

52:36Ant McPartlin:and it certainly doesn't help when that one question has been asked and the act takes the microphone from me. Like, no, give me that back.

52:46Declan Donnelly:It does scramble your brain though because you can hear shrieking sometimes in your ear how over we are in the time. And the judges, even if you tell the judges, we'll do a little look. I can never see Simon because he's always looking down with his glasses on. He never really catches our eye. Whereas the other three, you can kind of go like that, or you can kind of go like this, or you can go, just briefly, Alicia, she gets it straight. Yeah, Alicia's good. Yeah. But sometimes it's up to them. And if they want to blather on too much, they'll blather on too much.

53:20Ant McPartlin:And sometimes it's just because the act has had such a brilliant response in the room. Yeah, you've got to talk about it. But sometimes they let the applause happen and the chanting and whatever. And we're stood there going, somebody's got to say something soon because we're running out of time.

53:33Declan Donnelly:And now she took my microphone. The worst timing to get, or the worst phrase to hear is, 20 seconds to stop talking, which is like, you've got to shut up because the show's going to finish whether you've finished talking or not. And you can't -

53:49Ant McPartlin:That's when the credits are going to roll. Whatever happens, the credits are going to roll and you get that 20 seconds - 10 seconds to stop talking.

53:55Declan Donnelly:Five seconds, four, three. And the thing is that you can't just make the show go longer because Danny Dyer wouldn't be happy about that. Why not? because he was on after us. Oh, I see.

54:05Ant McPartlin:I thought he had something to do at home. No, no, no. He needed to get it finished.

54:08Declan Donnelly:He wouldn't have been happy because he would have been on later. Oh, I see. It's got a real knock-on effect. If you're running up to the news at 10, we can't make it the news at two minutes past 10. No. So you've got to finish on time.

54:19Ant McPartlin:If you want to send us any letters, any embarrassing stories that you've been involved in, let us know your embarrassing situations. Send them to us, hanging out at belterbox.com. We love to read them.

54:31Declan Donnelly:And of course, if you would like to swap something for the signed Simon Cowell photo, then send it in to hangingoutatbeltabox.com. It's got to be a good one. I look forward to seeing what the swaps could possibly be for that George Clooney picture. And that's it. Is that it? That's what we've got time for. Is that it? That's what we've got time for. We spoke a lot, didn't we? I suppose that's what happens on a podcast.

54:52Ant McPartlin:We speak a lot. We'll be back on Monday with your bonus ep. Until next time. Au revoir. And respect guys. Respect guys.

54:59Declan Donnelly:Respect guys. Come on.

55:01Ant McPartlin:Turn me light off. See you later. Bye. Bye.

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