In short
The episode mixes ads and comedy with a “spooky house” story, listener interaction, and car games. Ant McPortland and Declan Oliver-Doggin (Ant & Dec) discuss: Ant’s son Wilder “seeing ghosts,” which turns out to be him reacting to an open door and cold air; and their “no secret passages” claim (they say there were no tunnels between their houses).
Guests
no podcast guests appear; it’s just Ant and Dec plus callers/letters from listeners. Key segments: “Hecklers” questions and bedtime routines, including Dec’s “kinky boots” compression boots; “Grumbles” about The Chase/Bradley Walsh, re-pressing traffic buttons, and supermarket blockages; “Gauge the Age” birthday trivia (tied, then tiebreak on Mars Curiosity Rover); “Would You Rather” and car games; “Wonky Donkey” (hard round: goth moth; winner Fiona in Wells).
Notable examples
Carvana/medication ads (Tremphaya for Crohn’s/UC) and multiple listener postbag confessions, including banana-rating wedding shirts and “banana scale” measurements.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOAnt's Spooky Dinner Revelation
1:00 to 1:29
Ant shares a spooky experience involving his son Wilder supposedly seeing ghosts.
“Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun.”
Ant's Spooky Dinner Revelation
2:42 to 4:37
Ant shares a spooky experience involving his son Wilder supposedly seeing ghosts.
“hey oh god I've missed me chair hello everyone Hi everybody, welcome once again to Hanging Out with me, Ant McPortland, and him, Declan Joseph Oliver-Doggin.”
Planning Car Games
4:37 to 5:40
Ant and Dec discuss car games for families going on holiday.
“stop this I mean it's pretty close but I said it doesn't sound like you're saying the word ghost and she said well of course it doesn't because you can't say any word properly other than mum and daddy at that age.”
Hecklers Ask Questions
5:40 to 7:27
Ant and Dec answer questions from listeners, discussing secrets of their past.
“Well, a lot of people will be in cars at the moment.”
Bedtime Routines and Kinky Boots
7:27 to 10:50
The hosts share their bedtime routines, revealing Dec's quirky use of compression boots.
“That's his way of just biffing you off by going, I'll look into it.”
Grumbles from Listeners
10:50 to 14:00
Ant and Dec read and react to listener grumbles about everyday annoyances.
“Yeah, we just never did that feature ever again.”
Supermarket Grumbles
14:00 to 16:56
Ant shares his frustrations about supermarket shopping and people blocking aisles.
“Send us in your grumbles and we'll do it again because this has turned out to be a really good item.”
Supermarket Grumbles
17:42 to 18:04
Ant shares his frustrations about supermarket shopping and people blocking aisles.
“and where you can get your hands on them.”
Car Games for Road Trips
18:04 to 19:12
Ant and Dec reminisce about games they played during car trips.
“Botox, onabotulinum toxin A, prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine.”
Car Games for Road Trips
19:15 to 19:29
Ant and Dec reminisce about games they played during car trips.
“So a lot of you will be in a car listening to this because you're on your holidays now.”
Show all 24 chapters
Gauge the Age Game
19:29 to 28:01
Ant and Dec play a game guessing the ages of celebrities and historical events.
“So we've got some suggestions for you for games, if you like.”
The Headless Corner and Card Games
28:01 to 28:37
Ant and Dec discuss card games like 'Would You Rather' and engage in playful banter.
Conversations with Past and Future Selves
28:38 to 30:08
They explore the implications of talking to their past or future selves and the impact of advice given.
“Will it materially change where you are right now in the present?”
Would You Rather: Aliens or Bigfoot
30:09 to 31:12
The hosts engage in a light-hearted 'Would You Rather' debate about encountering aliens or Bigfoot.
“and in five years time, you're a multi-billionaire.”
Overdressed vs. Underdressed Scenarios
31:13 to 32:28
Ant and Dec discuss the pros and cons of being overdressed versus underdressed in various situations.
“Although you would be comfy at underdressed, wouldn't you?”
Silly Would You Rather Scenarios
32:29 to 33:58
The hosts present and discuss amusing 'Would You Rather' questions involving sneezing and farting.
“which told me to invest in Harrybo would you rather every time you sneeze you end up on the roof of your house or every time you fart you end up in the sea sneeze on the roof of the house.”
Game: Wonky Donkey Begins
33:59 to 36:17
The segment introduces the game 'Wonky Donkey', explaining the rules and inviting listeners to participate.
“Yeah, there's more than just yellow car.”
Playing Wonky Donkey with Callers
36:18 to 40:49
Ant and Dec engage with listeners in a fun game of 'Wonky Donkey', taking guesses and providing humorous commentary.
“It was on the tip of your tongue, Aaron.”
Listener Confessions and Postbag Segment
40:50 to 42:03
The hosts read a listener's humorous childhood confession about believing in hidden cameras during the show.
“If you want to play Wonky Donky, let us know.”
Childhood Fears of Hidden Cameras
42:03 to 42:42
Ant shares a humorous childhood story about fearing hidden cameras during a live TV show.
“we became convinced that one week you would suddenly cut to a live camera feed of our living room during one of the surprise segments.”
A Wedding Gift with a Twist
42:43 to 43:48
A listener shares a unique wedding gift idea that ties into the podcast's banana theme.
“And yeah, we could have come to your house.”
Banana Measurement Game
43:49 to 45:06
The hosts engage in a playful guessing game measuring various things in bananas.
“We had this one from Darren and he used a banana for scale.”
Secrets that Could Lead to Disaster
45:07 to 46:49
Listeners write in asking about secrets the hosts have kept, including their jungle show.
“You're taller than bananas in real life.”
A Rare Variety of Banana
46:50 to 47:53
Discussion about a unique banana variety and its potential use in a record attempt.
“I feel like Ant should be made aware of the Huamor Banana.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tremphaya offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Tremphaya is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. If your doctor decides that you can self-inject Tremphaya, proper training is required. Tremphaya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions, increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them, and liver problems may occur.
0:40Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tremphaya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit Tremfierradio.com. Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. It was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast! An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees, may I fly.
1:30Hey friends, Olivia from Oli. Between new routines and the ultimate group project known as parenting, you need science-backed solutions that work with your life. That's where Oli comes in. Start your mornings off right with Maltese made to support nutrition and immune health. Choose from our lineup of gut-supporting probiotics, and we've got occasional sleep support to help the whole fam chase their big dreams. Head back to class with the number one gummy supplement brand. Stock up on Ollie.com today. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
2:00Declan Donnelly:Coming up on the show, we find out what Deck gets up to in his kinky boots. You put boots on to go to bed. Yeah. Is Ant's son psychic? And we all got like shivers. We're like, what? We give you some games to play in the car. Woo, woo, woo, woo. That noise. means one of you is spot on we let the hecklers loose to ask us anything there's been zero secret passages in our in our relationship yeah plus more postbag and grumbles from you enjoy the show
2:41hey everybody hey oh god I've missed me chair hello everyone
2:48Declan Donnelly:Hi everybody, welcome once again to Hanging Out with me, Ant McPortland, and him, Declan Joseph Oliver-Doggin. I got me full name. What a lovely, lovely day outside. It's nice, isn't it? The birds are singing, the sun is shining, what a day to be alive! We've both gone short sleeves today. We have. You got your arms out on camera? It's nice to see. I've gone very Stephen Bartlett today. You have, haven't you? Well, I'd like to make this podcast really good. So I thought, if one of us has to dress like him, I've realised why he does it though. Because there's just no continuity. And he doesn't have to think about anything, does he, as well?
3:25It's just like... That's it.
3:26Declan Donnelly:Do you know, I am quite serious today. Last night, something quite spooky happened in my house. What? So at dinner, so having dinner, so we eat at five o 'clock, so we can eat with Wilder. On the dot. On the dot, by the way. A big gong goes. Bong! His servant goes, bong! Five o 'clock! So we all try and eat with the Wilder. And I was a bit late coming in. And Poppy, my daughter, had started eating with him. And she went, big news. I went, watch. She went, Wilder can see ghosts. Oh, that's not what you want to hear. I said, what? She was like, he can see ghosts? I said, Poppy, he's got no concept of what a ghost is.
4:10Declan Donnelly:So he certainly caught. And she went, watch. Wilder, what's over there? and he went and he pointed behind my head and went gauche gauche like this and we all got like shivers we're like what and we all looked behind us obviously there was nothing there just the door and then gauche and she's laughing I said it's not funny this is not a laughing matter this is not funny at all she thinks it's hilarious it's supernatural so we're like stop this I mean it's pretty close but I said it doesn't sound like you're saying the word ghost and she said well of course it doesn't because you can't say any word properly other than mum and daddy at that age.
4:49Declan Donnelly:Everything's got a little bit curbed at the edges. So then it was kind of left in the air while I can see ghosts. Then this morning at breakfast, he went like this, just me and him, over my shoulder. He goes, Ghost. So I slowly turn around over my shoulder. I've worked out what it is. The door is slightly open and he wants it closed. That's what he was saying. He can't see ghosts. He can't see dead people. He just sees open doors. Yeah, yeah. And he would light it shut because it would blow cold air in his face when he's trying to eat his Cheerios. Unless the ghost walked through the door. What's the cold air?
5:33I didn't think of that. Anyway. I think we've got some games lined up today, haven't we? We have lots of games. We've got loads of car games, but I thought maybe. Well, a lot of people will be in cars at the moment. driving to holidays. They will be. But before, I thought, could maybe us hecklers ask you a question?
5:51Declan Donnelly:Ask us a question? Yeah, because we get so many letters from the listeners that get to ask you questions, but we never get to ask you questions. Yeah, OK, you can ask us questions. Who would like to go first? Oh, God. So, you know, you used to live next door to each other. I heard a rumour that you had a secret passage to get through to each other's house. I was wondering if that was true. And if it's not, can you tell me a different secret?
6:17No, we didn't have a secret passage. There was two houses in between us. So there was a house next door to me and a house next door to Anne. Our gardens, yeah, there was two gardens. You didn't have a tunnel? Did not have a tunnel. Okay. No, we didn't. There were three houses in between us when we moved houses. We still didn't have a secret passage then. There's been zero secret passages in our life. In our relationship. Yeah.
6:42Okay, thank you for putting that up. Yeah, you're welcome.
6:44Declan Donnelly:And do we want us to tell you a secret? I wanted a secret, yeah. I'm trying to think of one. Is there any secrets to when we did live next door to each other? Well, two doors away from each other. Dick used to do homebrew in his garage. Did he do what? Dick used to make homemade beer in his garage. Did he? Yeah. He's really good at it. It was called Dick's Brew. So, you know, we're always talking about finding a hobby for Dick. Yeah. Homebrew. I think it should be homebrew. Mind you, if it's alcoholic, I can't try it. You can't try it. Kombucha. Kombucha. Yeah, make kombucha. Sounds complicated, that, doesn't it?
7:15Declan Donnelly:It's fermenting, eh? Does it? Just pickles and stuff. Or, if you're going to have a hobby, then you want to get some enjoyment out of it. So make yourself some homebrew. Shall I try it? You'll enjoy it. Shall I try it? And then you can bring it in for the heckless to try. Shall I do that? Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'll look into that. I'll make some homebrew. No, no, no, no, no. Don't look into it. That's his way of just biffing you off by going, I'll look into it. Which means, in the car on the way home from here, he will Google it
7:43is hand in the air yeah is that a question yeah i just want to know what is your bedtime routine bedtime or time routine all of it yeah i have a pretty routine bedtime routine routine when i'm in a routine i have pretty good routine go on go about maybe nine o 'clock we'll go up to the bedroom
8:07put the tv on oh sometimes i have a little shower before bed i like to have a shower I'm getting into clean sheets. Phone's off. Well, not off, but like silent. Do not disturb. Do not disturb. Put them on the bedside table. All ready for it. Da-da-da-da-da.
8:23Declan Donnelly:Da-da-da-da-da. He's not saying no, is he? I've got these boots. I've got boots. What? Sorry. That's a good secret. You put boots on to go to bed? Yeah. Nighttime boots. Yeah. It's supposed to make me taller. No, no, no. I've got these compression boots that I put on. put legs on and they go right up to right up to there sexy and you press a button and they go it's like having your blood pressure taken it's for like lymphatic system this is a very good topic for Stephen Bartlett this it is yeah he talks with it it's good for the lymphatic system it pushes your blood around your system and how much longer could you live?
9:03I think it extends your life for about 10 years 10 years full 10 years sometimes the boots get incredibly difficult they get quite tight
9:11Declan Donnelly:and now you turned on by this boot I don't think he ever asks that question, does he? No, he doesn't really. It's just me. I'm just intrigued. Well, I'll have a little boot session maybe. We watch TV. Mrs. D does her bit. What? She does whatever she does, her little beauty routine. Oh. There's all sorts of creams going on. She lies on... Wow. She lies on one of these bed of nails. She lies on a bed of nails. Oh, I've got one of them. Like a mat with... Plastic little... They look like what you used to have on the bottom of golf shoes. And she lies on that. It's like an acupuncture thing. Yeah, it hurts.
9:44It hurts me. I can't do it. So I just put my legs on.
9:48Declan Donnelly:I didn't expect any of this. I expected I might have a bowl of cereal and go to bed. Who expected this? That's after I've just... Sometimes I'll take up a sleepy time tea. I have a little sleepy tea. The one with the teddy bear on the front and his pyjamas. I'll take one of them up and we'll relax with maybe a 24 hours in police custody. Something nice and chill before bed. Do you talk to each other at all? A little bit. A little bit. That's in my boots. Is that spiky, isn't it? Definitely doesn't hurt. What about you? If my girls are back, like if they're back from uni and friends and all that, then we'll try and, well, I say we try and watch something together, but there's arguments about what to watch because everyone's wanting to watch different things.
10:32Declan Donnelly:I tend to walk the dogs in the evening, which I like. And then, yeah, we don't really have a routine. I would say we're in bed by 10 and we'll always watch a drama or something by 10. There's no kinky boots. There's no spiky pillows. There's just a good box set. Good box set and cuddles. Oh, that's nice. Sexy and nice. Sexy and nice. Sexy and nice. Stuff it in here. Are these balls? Yellow cars in there? One of these. Oh. What is this? Grumbles to do. Grumbles to do? We did that in the first show. Yeah, we just never did that feature ever again. No, we didn't, did we? We had too much other stuff, so we never went back.
11:10We called it Let's Get Ready to Grumble.
11:12Declan Donnelly:And we've never done it again. We've never done it again. Can we do it again now? Yeah. Can I read it now? Yeah. Will they stand the test of time? Sorry we haven't got back to you. Well, I'll read them out. And Dec, I'm catching up on your podcast, which I'm loving. We're catching up on your letters. I'm wondering to share my grumble. Know-it-alls. Yeah. Recently, I've had to stop watching The Chase because I cannot stand Bradley Walsh. I feel like he knew the answer to the question when he clearly has the answer in front of him. It's got to be. I'd love to see him up there with the beast to see how well he does that time.
11:48Declan Donnelly:Rant over, Beth. I thought she was going to say I hate the chasers because they know it all because they're so brainy. But I suppose that's their job. But I didn't see the Bradley thing coming. I didn't see the Bradley thing coming. I'm going to watch more closely from now on. Maybe he does do it, but maybe he is a bit of this muck. Is he a bit no-at-all? Has Bradley ever played the chase? He should do that for charity or something. Who would host it, though? Me? Smug face, just then. Smug face no-at-all. Smug face no-at-all. I've got another grumble here. My grumble is when I'm stood at a crossing, having pressed the button, and someone comes along and presses the button.
12:24Declan Donnelly:Wind me up, man, because they're assuming I'm so stupid that I haven't thought to press the button and I'm just stood there for it magically to change. Or they think they're just so important that the electrical time-based traffic light system will be like, quick, change. We need to let this one through. Who's that from? That is from Josh. Josh, that is a very good grumble. I don't know why you've left these in there for so long. These are really good. We should do this more often. This is podcast gold. Let's get rid of the grumble. This is podcast gold. He's just said it's gold. I think that is a great grumble.
12:57However, I do do that. what you press after someone's pressed even when it's lit up you know the big wait
13:02Declan Donnelly:is lit up I still press again so when someone's waiting at a lift and the button is clearly pressed yeah it's red do you press it again no why would that differ then because I get the feeling when you go to traffic lights that if it's lit up and you press it again I think it hurries it up it doesn't I think it does it doesn't but a lift I don't believe that may press the lift the lift is somewhere it's the same thing it's not whether it's a lift or it's a traffic light No, no, no, no. Because the lift... If you press the button and it's lit up, it's the same thing. No, it's not. It's not going to come quicker.
13:33It's not. It is. Because the lift is on the fifth floor. The lift is physically somewhere else. Yeah. The traffic lights, you're not waiting for somebody to come along. You're waiting for the traffic light to go, all right, I changed now. But if I press it again, you go, oh, sorry, I've forgotten about you guys. I might change the lights. So I think it's just a little reminder to press on the traffic lights. So I do do that.
13:55Declan Donnelly:What are you saying? Do you agree with them or not? I agree with it. It made me titter, but I do do it. So basically, you wind up Josh. Yeah, pretty much. You're cool with that? Yeah. All right. Yeah. Last one. If there's more, we'll do this again. Send us in your grumbles and we'll do it again because this has turned out to be a really good item. Any grumbles or moan, send them in to us and we'll read out the best moan and maybe we can give you so much for the best moan, like good moans, good moaning. Final grumble, Ant and Dec, my grumble of the week is people that get in the way by any means necessary in the supermarket.
14:32Declan Donnelly:Oh. Whether it's choosing this strange location for their weekly catch-up, in the middle of the aisle, dumping their trolley across the aisle from where they want to look, or taking forever to decide which yogurt has the lowest percent of fat. All the while, I'm trying to get my own shopping done and break my own record for the shortest amount of time I can be in a supermarket for the weekly shop. The worst part of it all, if they are blocking me in any way, I'm always the one that feels that I need to apologise and say sorry for their own incompetence. Pass aggressive. Sorry, can I just get past your trolley?
15:06Declan Donnelly:Or sorry, can I just grab that? Why am I the one apologising? I love the podcast from Curtis, Charlotte, Jessica and Tegan. Although Jessica and Tegan are four and two, so I don't think they're really part of this grumble. They're just along for the ride. Respect guys. You can't leave them in the house. I think that's just part of supermarket shopping. Yeah, I get it. It's irritating. I'm with you. It is what it is. I'm with you. You've got to let that go. I think... You've got to let it go. Here's my thing. If I was in charge of a supermarket chain, I would instigate white lines. What? In the supermarkets.
15:40I would do it like, keep left, just keep, it's like, run it like a small town and you have roads, a road system, give away at the end.
15:48Declan Donnelly:Run it like a small town. That's what I would do. And I'm the mayor. If you, with a trolley, you've got to keep left in the aisle. Oh, for God's sake. You pull in, you go over in, if you need something over the other side you go over get that come over to your trolley but you've got to keep going like they do in the car park outside you know and you've got little lanes and stuff I would do that in the supermarket giveaway at the end keep left overtake if you need to or if someone is parked there just say sorry do you mind if I just but that's what they're doing yeah but they're doing it like you say in a passive aggressive way sorry are you looking there sorry sorry so you're having that you're like that I'm having that that's a good moment it should be a bit of a free throw and don't get me started on self-service checkouts.
16:31Oh.
16:35That's for another day, that one. That's for another day. If you've got any brilliant moans, get them in to us. Hang out at beltabox.com. We'll read them out.
16:44Declan Donnelly:And we'll have prizes, won't we? Yeah. We'll choose the best moan of the week. We'll choose somebody who's done some good moaning and we'll send you something, a prize. This next section is brought to you by Northern Door Corps. Now, there's nothing better, is there, than getting the whole family together to have a pizza party. Well, if there is anything better than that, I don't want to know about it. Everyone can just create their own pizzas. There's no more arguments about whether everybody wants mushrooms, whether pineapple belongs on a pizza or not. No more arguments. You can do whatever you want.
17:18But everybody knows that great pizza starts with great pizza dough. and that's where the Northern Door Co. have got you covered.
Read the full transcript
17:26Declan Donnelly:So next time you're having a pizza party with our amazing Northern Door Co. Pizza Door, you can thank us. Yes. If you spill it down your front, that's nothing to do with us. That is all on you. Yeah, it's entirely up to you. Head to northerndoorco.com to check out the full range of products and where you can get your hands on them.
18:04We'll be right back.
18:23my own life. Botox, onabotulinum toxin A, prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine. It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month. It's the number one prescribed branded chronic migraine preventive treatment. Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Allerge your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache.
18:54Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com, or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more.
19:18Declan Donnelly:So a lot of you will be in a car listening to this because you're on your holidays now. A lot of people in cars all over the summer, yeah, driving to holidays. We used to spend a lot of time in cars. We did. We came up with quite a few games, didn't we, to keep ourselves occupied in the car. So we've got some suggestions for you for games, if you like. Hang on a second. I've just got to pull this down first. Let me just pull this down. I'll give you the sense that we're in a car. Come here, you. Is it stuck? There we go. Car air freshener. That makes it more legit now, doesn't it? Ah, smell that new car scent.
19:50Declan Donnelly:Mmm, lovely. Can you smell it? Oh, yeah. Does it smell like in your car? Smell it. Smell it. Oh, yeah. I like that smell. Nice. There we go. So we're in the car. Oh, we've got car sweets in our drawers. Classic boiled sweets in a gold tin. Do I need the hat? Yeah. I need the hat. That was from an old episode. There's berries in there as well. Do you fancy a mixed fruit drop or a creamy butterscotch drop? Oh, mixed fruit, please. A lot of you will be too young to remember these sweets. But before you could buy any kind of sweet from a petrol station, these ball sweets were... Always seem to be in the glove box.
20:30Declan Donnelly:Always seem to be in the glove box. And they'll always have a slight powder around them. A bit like the powder you get around a jelly baby. Ah, I'm popping one in now. I think that's black coin. They're good. Shall we play our favourite game that we used to play in the car all the time? We used to play a game called Gauge the Age, where we, oh, there's a plane coming in. Hang on a minute. Yay. Thank you. So, gauge the age, right? So basically, we used to play, we used to get the birthdays. In the paper. Every day. So I used to play a game between Dec and our driver, Joe, where I would say, it's somebody's birthday today, famous person, but how old are they?
21:09Declan Donnelly:So they would say how old they are and then you would work out how out you were and the person who was the least out over however many rounds you're going to play is the winner. That easy to follow, right? Okay. It's easier to play than it is to understand. So shall I play against Heckler's Corner? Yeah. Do you want to play? Yeah. It's good. You have to remember the age that you picked and how out you are as we play more birthdays. I'll get a little bit of paper. Okay, yeah. There we go. This is what he used to be like. He always used to write it down just in case he cheated. So today is August the 6th.
21:45Declan Donnelly:So don't Google any ages if you're listening to this. Just play along at home if you can. And it's a very happy birthday to Robin van Persie. Ooh. The former Arsenal and Man United striker, Dutch international footballer. How old is Robin van Persie today? And we'll start with you, Heckler's Corner. Yeah, mid-naughties. So, like, he's in 40s. 46? 48? 46. 41. I reckon younger what do you think early 40s 43 Declan I'm going 40 46 so you say 46 you say 43 that noise means one of you spot on but is it deck or is it Heckler's Corner on his birthday cake today there are 43 candles no way meaning Heckler's Corner is spot on well done Heckler's Corner so I'm three out three out okay and Heckler's Corner because they got it bang on three plays zero so well done you're in the lead at the minute next Fern McCann of TOWIE fame and I'm a celebrity fame she came third in 2015 on I'm a celebrity get me out of here Fern McCann Depp, we'll start with you now because we started with Heckless Corner last time.
23:18Declan Donnelly:How old is Fern McCann? 34. Straight out of the traps. 34. I think she's the same age as my brother and I think he's 35 or 36. Well, hold on. You must know how old your brother is. I think she's around the same age and he's 35, I think. So 34 for me, 35 for Heckless Corner. 34, 35. There's no noise. Neither of you are spot on. Verma Cat today is celebrating her 36th birthday. Close hecklers. One out. And deck is two out. So five plays one. Still all to play for. Still all to play for. The late, great Barbara Windsor would have turned what age today? She was Peggy Mitchell in EastEnders. She was in the Carry On films.
24:05Give us an impression.
24:06Declan Donnelly:Yeah, I'm at a pub. Is that good? Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean now, don't you? Didn't realise she was a Geordie. But if she were still alive today, how old would she have been? Heckless. I have no idea. 92. Yeah, she was quite old. 92. 92. 92. I will go 90. She would have been, if she were still with us, 89 today. So one out for deck, three out for Heckless Corner. Six plays four. It's getting closer, isn't it? It's good, isn't it? It's a good game, isn't it? See, you can pass many of our... Our next person is also deceased. Very famous, though. Famous for 15 minutes. Famous artist. Famous for the soup cans.
24:57Declan Donnelly:How old would Andy Warhol be today if he were still alive? Dec, you're to go first. Oh, God. 99. I have no idea. Let's go 91. 91? Yeah. Plays 99. Oh, that's quite a swing, that. There is. That's quite a swing. That is big. If you get this right, you can be right back in it. Absolutely. But if you get this right, you've extended your lead. Andy Warhol, the famous artist, would have been 98. Oh! If you heard that wallop, Viola banged her head off the wall in disgust. She threw herself back and banged her head off the wall. That's how compelling this game is. Seven out. Seven out. And you said 99, did you?
25:45I said 99, so I was one out. So what's the score so far? The scores are Heckler's Corner on 11, and Deck has taken the lead on seven.
25:54Declan Donnelly:Ha-ha! This is where I go off into the sunset. Right, final one. And it's not a famous person's age, but it is the age of something. The World Wide Web. how many years ago was the World Wide Web Project website launched? So, in effect, the World Wide Web was launched. So, the first website? Yeah. That would have been... 1992. 32 years. 32 years ago. So, that's 1994. Declan? I will say, I think it's actually in the 1980s, 42 years ago. 10 yes ring, guys. This is a 10. This is going to decide the game. Just a reminder of the scores at this point. Seven to me. Eleven to Heckler's Corner. The World Wide Web.
26:46Declan Donnelly:The first website that contained information about the World Wide Web project was launched in 1991.
27:01Declan Donnelly:35 years ago. Draw. It's a draw. So that brings the scores to 14 to me and 14 to Heckler's Corner. Tiebreak. Tiebreak. What a thrilling end. I hope you're all enjoying playing this at home or in the car. Mars Curiosity Rover landed on the surface of Mars how many years ago? What do you want? A year or how many years ago? How many years ago? So it's like, it's an age, isn't it? So how many years ago? I'm going to say it was... 7. 11. 7-11. Well, you both give me an answer quite quickly, which means neither of you know this because you're just stabbing in the dark. A bit like the Mars Curiosity War, when it first landed on the surface of Mars in 2012.
27:58Declan Donnelly:14 years ago! Headless Corner the winner congratulations Headless Corner that was kids join us next time on Gage the Age play the jingle what do you mean we don't have a jingle been gone for almost seven minutes do you know another really good card game what would you rather would you rather that's good quite contentious though at times can't it be would I rather what would you rather have one minute conversation with your past or your future self oh future future definitely oh in effect either way is the future what you're gonna have to talk me through that because if you're having a conversation with your previous former self your your yourself from the past yeah you're in the future yes or your part is the best so either way you're passing on information from the future But would the information you give to your past self influence where you are in the present?
29:04Yes. Would it?
29:07Declan Donnelly:Yeah, it should do. How? Invest in Apple. Yeah, well, yeah. If you're giving yourself information. In the past. To the past. To the past. Will it materially change where you are right now in the present? Or has it just gone into the ether? But if you imagine, right, like it's a one minute phone call with your previous self and you say, what's the weather like? What's the time there? And you say, shut up. Shut up. And you say, invest in Apple, invest in Tesla, buy Bitcoin. Good night. Yeah. And then you check your bank account and you check your things. You go, well, where is the, where is the investment?
29:47Yeah. Does it materially change where you are right now? Or you better go in talking to your future self. and your future self says, forget all of that stuff. Bitcoin's a fad. It's a bubble. It's going to burst. Where you really need to put your money is in boiled sweets. They're making a comeback. And then you go and you invest in boiled sweets and in five years time, you're a multi-billionaire. It's quite a deep version of would you rather this.
30:15Declan Donnelly:Go on, yeah. Would you rather run into an alien or Bigfoot? Alien. What are you going to learn from Bigfoot? Whereas hopefully from aliens, you can learn about life on other planets. What are you going to learn from Bigfoot? Just what it's like to live in between the trees. Southampton. Southampton. It's Winchester, wasn't it? The taxi driver in Winchester saw the Bigfoot. And also you go like to the alien, should I invest in Apple or Boil Sweets? A lot of my would-you-rathers are investment questions. Would you rather have spinach stuck in your teeth all day without knowing or toilet paper on your shoe without knowing?
30:48Toilet paper on the shoe. Toilet paper on the shoe, definitely. Because that's just like you've just stepped in. You could step in that toilet paper anywhere, but the spinach in the chute. Spinach in the chute. Or toilet paper in your mouth.
31:04Would you rather have spinach in your chute or toilet paper in your mouth? That's a good would you rather. What about being always underdressed or always overdressed?
31:14Declan Donnelly:That's a good question. That is good. I think I'd much rather be overdressed. She can style it off better. than being underdressed. Yeah. Although you would be comfy at underdressed, wouldn't you? So it's either you're turning up like to school to pick up your kids in the tux. That's okay. Or you're on the red carpet in like shorts and a t-shirt. Yeah. I once went to school overdressed. I went to school with a briefcase once. What? I went to school with a briefcase once. This is really a Metwina script. Briefcase wang-a. I was. I was a briefcase wang-a That was the original briefcase wang-a. for one day.
31:52Declan Donnelly:Why? Because it was in the house and I was like, that looks smart. Did you do this? I did, yeah. All of the years we watched in between us, you never mentioned this. I didn't find it funny. Did anybody else? Did you get stick about it? A little bit. Just a little bit? Just a little bit, not much. I wouldn't have given you loads. I felt like the bee's knees. I thought I was a real businessman. Rocking up the history. Yeah. I'm a businessman. Was it like your first day or? No, no, no. how old it was secondary school so 12 13 something like that because I'd had a chat with my future self which told me to invest in Harrybo would you rather every time you sneeze you end up on the roof of your house or every time you fart you end up in the sea sneeze on the roof of the house.
32:51I'd fart in the sea. You'd fart in the sea? Yeah, you're going to be all but 100%. No, you can't. That's bad for you. What? You can stop a sneeze. You can stop a sneeze, you can't stop a fart. No, you can't really stop a sneeze though, can you? You can.
33:03Declan Donnelly:You've still got still a sneeze. I've got a purpose to get me in the sea. Oh my God. I'm a little fart. This meeting's so boring. Yay! I'm in the sea! Yeah. What if it's like New Year's Day and it's freezing cold and you're like, oh, oh God, it's cold. Would you rather be a contestant on I'm a Celeb or Britain's Got Talent? I'm a celebrity. Without a shadow of a doubt. No, I've got no talent. I've got no redeemable talent whatsoever. I'd be on Britain's Got Talent. I'd do Britain's Got Talent. I'm a celebrity's hard work. I couldn't cope with the other people in camp, but I think I would like sleeping outdoors and I would like to be in the elements and Australia's.
33:42I think you'd do well, innit? You'd be top five. Top five, would I? Top five, definitely.
33:48Declan Donnelly:I think you'd do all right in the auditions. you'd get four yeses from the judges they wouldn't recall you back to their lives but you know I'd just be one of those ones they forget about yeah exactly just spotted a yellow car up there yellow car cheese on wheels cheese on wheels did you play that one cheese on wheels if you're in the car and you're driving along you spot a yellow car there's not that many of them just spot a yellow car you can shout cheese on wheels and you get a punch the person sitting next to you do you do any others we do we did like limo What, just if you spot a limo? Yeah, there's more than just yellow car.
34:22How often do you spot a limo? Well, not often. We did red car sometimes. You do Lightning McQueen. Cheese on wheels and Lightning McQueen.
34:29Declan Donnelly:So there you go. There's a few car games. Yeah. Let us know how you get on. And if you've got any car games that you think we should try here in the studio, let us know. Hanging out at bellabox.com. We've had loads of people wanting to play Wonky Donkey. Okay. You know we played last time. Yes. It was good though, wasn't it? Should we play it again? I don't know. What do you guys think? Yeah! Yeah! That was Luke Wobbenstock. We didn't have got better at the end. All right, let's play. Over to Ant and Dec in the corner over there. Over to you boys. Thanks, podcast Ant and Dec. Welcome along to what we hope will be another thrilling instalment of Wonky Donkey!
35:07Wonky Donkey!
35:10Declan Donnelly:Wonky Donkey! Wonky Donkey! Oh, I'm a little bit Brazilian now, am I? I like that, it's good. Thanks, a Brazilian. So, you know how this works by now. I've got a donkey here, he's got a leg missing, he's gone all wonky, he's a wonky donkey. You've got to tell us the animal and the situation it's found itself in. What's the situation? Just remember, though, there is one rule, one golden rule. It's got to rhyme. It's got to rhyme, simple as that. That's it. We've got some callers on the line who are waiting to guess. You've got 10 seconds to guess, and that 10 seconds goes very, very quickly. If you're listening and want to play along with Wonky Donkey this week, the item is an insect with big wings, an emo fringe, heavy eye makeup and listens to metal and rock music.
36:01Declan Donnelly:OK, on live one, we have Aaron in Bristol. Hello, Aaron. Hello, Aaron in Bristol. Hello. Hello. How are you? I'm very good, thank you. Great. Okay, well, I'm gonna bring out the animal. You've got 10 seconds to guess. What's the golden rule deck? It's got to rhyme! Aaron? Good luck. Good luck, pal.
36:29Declan Donnelly:10 seconds starts now. What is it? E-ring.
36:38Go on.
36:40Declan Donnelly:Three seconds! Two! That's time! Oh, sorry, Aaron. Sorry. That's pretty good.
36:51Declan Donnelly:Out with it, man. Spit it out. It was on the tip of your tongue, Aaron. It's like I had a hot chip in his mouth.
37:00Declan Donnelly:Next, we're going to Newcastle. I'm Amy. Hello, Amy. Hello, how are you? Good, thanks. How are you? I'm a bit excited. Great. Enough of the pleasantries. You've got ten seconds. Let's go, walkie-dokie. What's this? Oh, um... Come on. Say something. Have a look. Go on. Have a look at the hair. Three seconds. Come on. Have a guess. Say something. Come on. He didn't even speak, man! Say something! Have a guess. Have a stab in the dark. Oh, oh, oh, it's falling over. Didn't say anything! What a waste of everybody's time! If you're gonna come on the call, at least just have a guess. Don't worry about Dex shouting at you for getting it wrong or saying it's kind of right!
37:41Declan Donnelly:What a waste of a phone call. He does that. He will whinge and he will moan. You've just got to put up with it and just keep guessing. Right. We're going to Worthing next. We're going to speak to Sam. Hello, Sam. You're muted. Hello, Sam. It's a good start, isn't it? How are you? Good evening. Yeah? Yeah, we can hear you. Can you hear us? Brilliant. Great. It's like talking to me mum on Zoom. Well done. Sam, you've got 10 seconds to guess this wonky-donky. Time starts now. Guess. Fever, metal. Oh, come on. Come on. Metal fever, no.
38:24Declan Donnelly:Oh, that's time off. Sorry, Sam. Sometimes I think, do we make them too hard? It's not hard, is it? It is hard this week. This is a hard one. It is a hard one. But look, look at the animal. Look at the animal. Everybody else waiting in the queue. Look at the animal. Or insect. That's too much of a clue. Don't give them clues. They don't deserve clues. Joanne in Bradford. Hello, Joanne. How are you doing? Hello. I'm good, thank you. Good. Are you a big fan of Wonky Donkey, Joanne? Absolutely. I remember it as a kid. And did you used to get it right when you watched it on the telly? I was calling it.
39:07You talk a big game, Joanne. You talk a big game.
39:10Declan Donnelly:Okay, Joanne, we're wasting valuable seconds here. Your time starts now. What's this? Er, it's a... What is it? It's a bat. Three seconds. Go on. Aussie. Aussie. Bat. Oh, God. It's hard. It's hard? It's hard, Joanne, innit? It's not a bat. It's not a bat. It's not a bat. Look at that. I like the way he just keeps stroking his hair, though. That's great. Oh, that's going to help. That's how it goes, yeah. Because the hair out of his eyes, that's how it goes. I can see his eyes. Has that made it any easier? Finally, we're going to go to Fiona in Wells, Somerset. Hello, Fiona in Wells, Somerset. How are you?
39:53Hello. I'm great, thank you. Good, good. Nice to talk to you.
39:56Declan Donnelly:Yeah, we're good, too. Thanks for asking. It hasn't been going too well so far, so we're banking on you to get this right. Your ten seconds starts now. A punk skunk? No. Try again. What? Gof, gof, gof, gof moth. Yeah!
40:21Declan Donnelly:I bounced its wig off. Oh, no. And the jumper fell off. Everything fell off. I'm so excited. Well done. Well done. How do you feel? Thank you. Amazing, thank you. Great. That's amazing. What does she win? A mug. You win a mug. All that for a mug. Goodness me. Sorry about that, but well done. You also take away the pride of winning Wonky Donkey because not many people have won it. And that was a tough one this week. That was goth moth. Well done, Fiona. Well done, Fiona. Thanks for playing Wonky Donkey. Wonky Donkey.
41:02Wonky Donky Oh,
41:09Declan Donnelly:I do like Wonky Donky. I like Wonky Donky. Good hosts, too. Yeah, they were good. Very good looking. Should we do it again? Sometime? Yeah. If you want to play Wonky Donky, let us know. We'll do it again when we've got a particular hole to fill. Let us know hanging out at dollarbox.com. Should we have a little look at any letters in the postcard? Come on, get it down. Have we got that jingle? Come on, play it. A shorter one. Let's get ready for the postbag. Yay! Postbag, postbag. Going through the lot. Postbag, postbag. Show us what we've got. What's inside? What's inside? Read it out. Still quite long.
41:44Hey, postbag, postbag, postbag today. Do you want to start? Aye. Can do. Hi, Ant and Dec. Hello. And the Hanging Out team. Hi. I'm listening from Winchester. Oh, yes. I've got a very important childhood confession. When my sister and I were younger and watching Saturday Night Takeaway, we became convinced that one week you would suddenly cut to a live camera feed of our living room during one of the surprise segments. The fear was so real that we'd cover anything remotely suspicious near the TV that could contain a hidden camera. As an extra precaution, we'd watch the show an hour later because we genuinely believed you were less likely to pick our house if we weren't watching it live.
42:27For years, we worried that you'd suddenly switch to our living room and find two children staring blankly at the screen in complete panic. Looking back, I'm not entirely sure why we thought Antidec had installed secret surveillance equipment in our living room, but it felt like a very real possibility at the time. Thank you for keeping me company through all the ups and downs of university life. All the love and respect you both. Rosie!
42:48Declan Donnelly:That is a very good letter. Very good. And yeah, we could have come to your house. Yeah. We could have. I think, in fact, Rosie, that does ring a bell because we did install secret cameras in your house. Because you weren't watching live, we never cut you up. Yeah. Thanks, Rosie. Glad you're enjoying the pod. Hello, and the team. Hey. This weekend, I married the love of my life. Oh. And as most couples do, we exchange presents the morning of. As avid listeners to your podcast and adapters of the banana rating system, I, Millie, the bride, thought it would be funny to gift my future husband a banana rating.
43:26Declan Donnelly:I could. Please see attached a photo of my now husband Tom wearing the shirt the morning after our wedding. Oh my God, this is so good. So this is Tom with a white t-shirt and it's got eight bananas and it says would marry again. That's from the newlyweds, Millie and Tom. That's a really good banana in. On the subject of bananas, people sent in pictures of their telly. We had this one from Darren and he used a banana for scale. We also had this one from Laura. Ooh, that's a projector, isn't it? That's a screen. Helen wrote in and sent us this picture from Newcastle Museum where they're measuring people in bananas.
44:08Declan Donnelly:That's good. Is that the Life Museum in Newcastle? Yes. And then on ITV News, Sally Peterson did an article about the shortest yellow line in the UK and used a banana for scale. Oh, we've made it. I thought it could be fun to maybe see if you can guess how big things are in bananas. Okay. A banana itself is, just for reference, a banana is seven inches. Can you guess how many bananas tall Ant is? 29. 9.7 bananas. What? 29 bananas? That would make me a giant! 9.7, you said? For context, a double-decker bus is 63. My banana skills were out. It's because Deck's very short. He's got no idea when it comes to other people's heights.
44:58Declan Donnelly:He just thinks everyone's massive. How tall do you think Deck is in bananas? What was I? 9.7. So Deck is bang on nine bananas. 9.4 bananas. You're taller than bananas in real life. I am. I'm going to keep that. What about the wingspan of the Angel of the North? Oh, that's a lot. 45 bananas. 150 bananas. 303. Oh, okay. I can't get this. I don't understand this. You can maybe get this one. Okay. How many bananas tall are the bananas in pyjamas? So they're taller than me. So they're about six foot, I'd say like 15 bananas. They're just one big banana. Oh, very good. Very good. Very good. I can't quite get that.
45:48I don't understand it. Measuring things. Freaking my mind out. Is it time for another one for me? Hi, Deck. Team. Hi, Ben. And Tony Big Mac sauce. Shut up. This is from Harry in Portsmouth. Recently I got engaged. Yay! Congrats. This meant having to keep the secret from my girlfriend for quite a while, which caused me quite a bit of stress. My question to you guys is, what is a time where you have had to keep a big secret which could have resulted in disaster if people found out? Respect, guys. Harry from Portsmouth. That we all love us. That's still a secret, Ant. Yeah, sorry. We have to keep the secret every year of who's in the jungle.
46:26Yes. We find out pretty early in the year. Well, not early, actually. We find out around summertime. You've ruined it now.
46:34Declan Donnelly:What? You've ruined it. Have I? Why? Why? Because whenever people say to me, who's gone in the jungle then? I go, oh, we don't know yet. So we only ever find out last minute. So you've ruined that now. As we sit here today, we know who's gone in this year. Well, nearly. Nearly all of them. You are going to love it. It's right up your street. Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber. How is that? Can neither confirm nor deny. Yeah, both of them. Final letter, high on deck. I feel like Ant should be made aware of the Huamor Banana. See, attached pick. Huamor Banana. What's the Huamor? Whoa! What is whoa? No way.
47:12Declan Donnelly:That is not real. I feel like using this variety would add an extra element of difficulty for his next Guinness World Record attempt. I don't need more difficulty. Nothing else to add. Amy, age 45, well and gotten city. Hates baked beans. Cracked heel on left foot. Thanks, Amy. Thanks for the info. Wow. Do you reckon that would last if you sent me one of them in the post if you're out there? Would that last? No, get bruised. We're not on the way. It's a rare, giant, Polynesian heritage banana. Hua Moa. Hua Moa banana. I wonder what it tastes like. I wonder if it's sweet like a banana or starchy like a plantain.
47:50and let us know more about the Hua Mua Banana
47:52Declan Donnelly:that's it that's it that's all we've got time for I enjoyed that I've been Stephen Bartlett he's been Declan Donnelly thank you for joining us I'll hang out remember to give us a I'm not giving up I am selling the building the final season of FX is the bear the restaurant is flooded everything's either going to be okay or not We are outgunned And we are outmanned We have each other FX's The Bear The final season All episodes now streaming on Disney Plus Follow wherever you get in your podcasts Or like and subscribe on Belterbox's YouTube channel Yes please do We'll be back on Monday with another bonus Let us know about all of your games that you're playing in the summer And we'll see you on Monday for the bonus Come on, let's get out of here Respect guys See ya See ya later Cheese on wheels What?
48:50What's that? She's a roof. Ah!
From the publisher
On this week’s episode, Ant’s channeling his inner podcaster, and has Dec finally found a new hobby??Plus, the boys reveal the truth behind a rumoured secret passage beneath their homes, Dec’s been sleeping in kinky boots, and is Ant’s house haunted?The boys return with a round of the legendary Wonkey Donkey, along with a bunch of new games you can play in the car, including Gage The Age and Would You Rather.
Keep your correspondence coming at hangingout@beltabox.com. Sign off your email with the name you'd like us to use. If you'd rather we didn't mention your surname, simply leave it out. And if you'd like a full name shout out, throw the whole thing in there!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices