Aishwarya Iyer, Founder of Brightland, on Building a Cult-Favorite Luxury Brand From Burnout, the Truth About the NYT Olive Oil Wars, and How Becoming a Mom Changed Everything

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28:42So if you're ready to turn your returns into revenue, head to freight.com and tell them HotSmart Rich sent you for an exclusive offer and white glove service. That's F-R-A-T-E.com and tell them HotSmart Rich sent you. I think one of the beautiful, the biggest blessings that I had a few years ago going through this big change was like really diving back into my childhood and like what made me, me. And that was like the thing that I think found my adult self was figuring out like, what was I like as a kid? How can I get back to that? And then figuring out how do I now make that a practice in my life and not just like a one-off thing?

29:22What are the things that you do as a founder with all of the demands going on, all of the competition that's happening to like remain sane? I would say there was a point in time where I kept saying, let's water our own garden. Let's not pay too much attention to what other people are doing. And I still believe that to be true. We shouldn't obsess over what other people are doing. But look, if somebody's doing something really cool, let's take a page out of that book, right? but let's also keep pushing the ball forward. Let's not look at around so much that we lose sight of who we are and what we're about.

29:56Like the paint and pour set is a perfect example of what we talked about. No one in our space, let alone, like no one in CPG, let alone in our space was even thinking about doing something like that and we decided to move the ball forward and say, hey, let's innovate in this way and let's do something really creative and interesting. I delete Instagram constantly and I love talking about it because I think it's a huge unlock. Wait, I was literally supposed to say this. Your bio says inspired to live life offline. Yes. How do you do that? Yeah. I delete Instagram almost every weekend. Not always, but quite a lot.

30:34And I, my brain gets cleared. It's like I'm clearing tabs. You know, like we all have our laptops. Sometimes we got to live, give that laptop that poor baby a break. Got to turn it down. We got to maybe close all the tabs. Let's close all the tabs in our brain. We're looking at more imagery than we ever have. Humans. We are also looking at ourselves more than we ever have. It was only a couple thousand years ago that the mirror was invented. Until then, we were all looking at the water to look at our reflection. So we saw this beautiful, hazy creature. And then the only way that we saw ourselves was through the eyes of somebody else.

31:07Like you're looking at me with so much attentiveness and so much, you know, like present presence right now. I'm loving it. I feel so beautiful in your presence. But if that was the only thing that I saw, imagine how I would feel rather than being like, okay, this happened. And then I'm looking at a thousand other images of other people and then myself. It is cluttering our minds. And as founders and creatives and creators, we're not meant to be looking at that much. As a deeply creative person, who's constantly on people's mood boards, if you're not consuming content like most people are, that's a sign, where are you finding that creative inspiration?

31:50Like if you're thinking around a new campaign or a new product or a new thing, like where do you go and find that then? Oh, in real life. I'll go to a newsstand, like the Larchmont Village has a newsstand and I'll grab some like random French Italian magazines and I'll look through them. I'll look at car ads. I'll go to the museum and I'll find a color. Or one of our products a couple of holidays ago was inspired by a Gucci campaign. We've done things that we've been inspired by food beauty. We've done some photo shoots when we came out with our chili oil. I looked at photo shoots. I forgot the brand, but they had broken down the lip gloss and everything to kind of like, and it was really saturated, really interesting.

32:35And I said, oh, let's do that with the chili oil. Let's do that. Like, let's make it look like a beauty shoot. But it doesn't have to be through Instagram. We can do that through magazines. We can do it through things that are tactile. And then we can also do it through giving our brain a break because sometimes like the breakthrough comes through in the pause. You've also kept a lot of your personal life off of Instagram, off of just news in general. So switching gears a little bit to you being a new mom of like five or six months. That was a decision that you decided to keep extremely personal, extremely private.

33:10Did anybody know that you were pregnant, like even in your personal life, your family? My family knew. My close friends who I talk to often in real life knew. People who I knew from the online world, I don't think anyone knew. I had no idea. Right. Why did you decide to keep your pregnancy a secret? Well, it wasn't by design. I will say it was a tough pregnancy. Well, first of all, let's take a step back. I've been married for 10 years and nine of those years we weren't sure we wanted kids slash we were in the no camp. Actually, we said, you know what? I think we can build a beautiful life without having without bringing life into this world.

33:53I couldn't both my husband and I were having a hard time wrapping our head around. Why do people do this? Why does everybody do this? Life is so lovely. Like we have our dogs, we have a really calm, wonderful life. I'm building a company. Like, I don't know. It just seemed I couldn't wrap my head around it. And then when I started doing the spiritual work, I started unraveling, okay, what is it about, what is it about the, like the act of maybe doing this that's holding me back? And it came back to fear. And I was like, oh my God, if I were able to get over my fear of starting a company and like things that I'm highly unqualified to do, why do I have this fear around one of the potentially most beautiful things that I could do?

34:37So I had to like work on the unleashing of that fear and at the same time reconcile with because by the time like I decided to do this, I was 37, 38. So in my late 30s and there's a chance that, you know, I never froze my eggs. I never did any of that. So there's a chance that it wouldn't pan out too. So I had to look within and say, will I be okay living a life with it or without it? And ultimately, everything is hard and everything is beautiful at the same time. That is life. You do it. You start the company. It's hard. You don't start it. Life is also hard. Life is challenging and wonderful and mysterious, all of the words we want to use, no matter what.

35:24And so the minute that really sunk in for me, I was like, I feel really free. Whether it happens, if it happens, groovy. If it doesn't happen, groovy. I'll live a meaningful life. And now that's not everybody's perspective. Some people want to have a child so badly, you know, so I'm not speaking to those people in this moment right like that that may not resonate but for someone who's sort of ambivalent I would recommend that they like dig deep within themselves well it's interesting you're kind of so before my partner now I wasn't sure if I wanted to either and I think it wasn't just around the fear it was around not being ready to share that with the right person and being really honestly I wanted to be selfish and I think everything in life is like timing too but it's interesting hearing you say that because now I'm in the camp where I'm like I would feel robbed if I didn't get that experience because I want it so badly but it's interesting as somebody that didn't want kids and I it would break my mom's heart like she would literally be like you will be such an amazing mother you have so much to give and I was like I can make an impact in a different way and then I think when I met the right person that's when I was like oh I want to do this with you not just like I just didn't want to do it to do it which I think is very abnormal for women to say out loud It is so abnormal to say out loud.

36:43I mean, I didn't say out loud, hey, I'm not interested in having a kid, but those around me knew. And then when I started thinking about it the other way, I'm not going to lie, I did have a moment where I was like, oh, my gosh, the pendulum's swinging. Am I silly? And the minute I started thinking, like, am I silly? What are people going to think? I was like, hang on, hang on, hang on. These are the things that you thought when you were going to start Brightland and you were scared to. You were like, what is so and so going to think? Or am I going to be seen as silly? And that feeling of perception, right?

37:18We're not that important. And like this goes all the way back to even creating content. If that's somebody's jam, but they're nervous about other people seeing it. I know you have your five things that you say. People are not looking at us that much. It's OK. This is the one thing that I have realized is like people don't care about you. They don't care. Like they don't even know what you're doing. It's only like how many times does somebody have to see a message of Brightland to like be able to actually buy it? Like 10 to 50? 15 times. Like they need to be able to see it multiple times. People are not watching what you're doing.

37:53If you're afraid of doing something, people don't care. No, they don't. And if they care, that's on them. That says more about them. Those are the things that they need to unravel and untangle. but we got to keep moving and live our biggest fullest lives okay so take me back so you decide after 10 years that you're like or after nine years I think I want to start to try to have a baby with my husband where did you go from there um we did a fertility sort of test because I was older and was he older yeah okay he's in his early 40s so um I started with me and it was like oh yeah I think you have like a six to eight percent chance it was one of those companies too that do that like they really push you towards IVF.

38:32And they were like, yeah, I think there's like a six to 8 % chance. And I was like, okay, let's see what happens. And lo and behold, I think like five months into just whatever it happened. Yeah, it happened. And I was like, okay, I'm, I felt stoic. Like I was like, all right, let's see what the world, like the world and the universe wanted this. Let's rock and roll and see what happens. And then I got hit with like first trimester, second trimester nausea. just like deep, like I would describe it as like feeling hung over on a ship for 24 hours a day. And that's how it felt. For six months. For six months.

39:12And I, and so those are the things that really like, I was like, oh, whoa. I felt deeply humbled. I felt in awe of women. And then also women are so capable of so much. I raised money during that time. I hired a team. I hired more people on my team. I flew, I went on national TV multiple times. Like we are capable of so much. And so there was also this part of me that was like, oh my gosh, I can do a lot. But even though you felt terrible the whole time. Yeah. And is that why you chose to keep it a secret? I think in that moment I was thinking the people who need to know, no, I don't know what I would say because I have so much to say about it like I get to talk about it in its full with the fullest picture with you right now how can I encapsulate that in a post or sharing with people online I just didn't think I could so now that you're six months into motherhood what has that been like for you it's like another dimension opens and I see why people do it it's the same feeling it makes total sense why the world wants to do this because the feeling when you look at your babies in the eyes and they're smiling at you is actually the same feeling you get once you achieve a certain level of meditation it's this like blissed out momentary like here and now there's nothing else around you it's like like that feeling um I think people feel that when they're sometimes in the flow like cooking maybe going on a run so I think there are multiple ways to get there.

40:51But those are all much more challenging, right? Versus like having, not that having a baby is not challenging, but it's the most biological, very natural thing for people to do. And you get it so many times, like anytime you're looking at them in the eye and they're just like smiling at you. So it makes sense. When you're figuring out prioritization and you're looking at that baby and like, I actually saw this really interesting article the other day that was like 50 of women if they didn't have to wouldn't work while they were a new mom when you're figuring out prioritization of where you're going to spend your time and you're looking at this baby that's giving you this feeling of like pure consciousness and love yeah and then you're going and looking at your email inbox that has like 300 unread emails and people angry and trying to talk about their feelings and you're a ceo and then you have investors being like what happened with here and retailers being like you've missed your order po date.

41:47Like, how do you rationalize with like being able to do it, but do both? Oh, it's all a mental mindset at the end of the day. Well, first of all, I don't proclaim to do it alone in the same way that with the team, I'm not coming in being like, I'm the savior of Brightland. I'm our head of marketing and our head of ops. I also do our finance. No, we have experts for all of those things and I get to be a coach and a leader and empower people, hold them accountable and move the ball forward. I look at it the same way, which was such a really freeing moment for me when I was like, oh my God, I can also build my home life in that same way.

42:31My partner is extremely involved. There's no like, oh, he's babysitting while I'm taking care of the kids. we both are equal caretakers in it and he understands like I had him read the things I read watch the things I watched we talked about hey I went through this for nine months with my body and with my mind and hormones and everything so for nine months there are things like I don't change that many diapers if any like that was something we talked about and I was like all right yeah at least nine months of that why should I what why should I that doesn't make sense So it was really honest, open conversation.

43:10And he was like, yeah, you're right. If I was pregnant, I would say the same thing to you too. I'd be like, hey, I'm going to take a break on that. That's not enjoyable for me. So I'd love for you to take that on, that share on. So things like that. And then look, like this is privileged. But from the very first day, like she came home from the hospital and day two, we had a night nanny. We have a nanny during the day. I'm not trying to like look at her and coo at her and also answer emails. I'm dialed in with work. I'm my best self. And then when I feel like wrapping things up, she's there and I get to spend time with her.

43:46And I want her to be proud of that. I want it to be like, oh, my God, my mom does something she loves and she's cool. She's awesome. Not like, oh, my God, honey, I'm so sorry. Mom has to work. We don't we're not doing that. This is a privilege to build a business. so I'm going to take it upon myself to also have that reflected in my own world and for her to see that too it's so interesting that you say that because I feel like we look up to the people that parent us so much my dad would always say like if you want to make real money like go and be an entrepreneur but like I was never really close to entrepreneurship and it's interesting because I always say this with my sister like I was the one that really took the lead first right like it was like leave your salary leave a corporate job leave your health care insurance and benefits and like it was really scary especially for me as an immigrant who like didn't have a visa to live here I was like am I gonna get kicked out like what is gonna happen and it's interesting because my sister it took her like a year of me building and like having something real and having something that like definitely is not where it is now but like it had a vision what I'm doing in this seat is exactly what I thought I was going to be doing but like it was so not there yet and it's interesting because I always try to think back of like how how did I learn that how did I get that I don't actually know how that came to be but I guess like now being an entrepreneur and being a parent like what do you hope that your daughter learns from you that you think are the best benefits of being an entrepreneur oh my god resilience is everything multiple things can be true at the same time um goodness all we have is the here and now hard work is non-negotiable but don't expect the world to come with a platter on the other side of it.

45:31What's been the hardest moment for you building Brightland? I think when things with the team, when we've had to make a call that, you know, this isn't working out with somebody or they choose to leave and we weren't ready yet. In some cases, it's been like a great fit on all sides. Hey, this is, you know, you've come so far here. The business has come so far because of you. You're onto your next thing. So happy for you, goodbye. When it's not that and it's the other things, which more often than not, it's the other things, that's hard. That weighs on you. Yeah, that's really tough. So I would say that's one.

46:05And then the second one is there are so many unknown unknowns, way more unknown unknowns than I would have imagined. And again, we're not trying to put olive oil in D-bags over here. This is very elementary. At least that's what I thought. But it's not. And it gives me so much perspective and great. I have grace and admiration for anyone doing anything, including the chair we're sitting in, that table, Fiji or Fuji water, whatever. Like everybody is looking at the details and trying to just make incremental, you know, incremental benefits or make things just better, incrementally a little better.

46:47and I'm really in awe of that because it is really tough. What's the hardest thing that you've ever gone through as a mom? I feel silly being like she's fabulous um but I think that's good to talk about too because I think so many women listening myself included I said this very vulnerably at the retreat like I've been so focused on knowing like even bringing this to fruition like sitting here with you this podcast this thing that I've built which was like really the first of its kind being like investing in media and like democratic like it's so interesting because I've always had a plan and I think motherhood is the first thing that like I do not have a plan I do not know what to expect I'm deeply terrified of it I'm also deeply excited for it like to be known as a mom and it was actually funny I was listening to a podcast with the former PepsiCo president who also is from India Indra Nooyi yes I love her did you ever hear the story of when her she gets promoted to the president of Pepsi and she gets home and her mother is taking care of the kids and she's like waiting to share good news and literally the mom was like so irrelevant like don't talk to me about that leave your crown in the garage like you are a mother here you are a daughter here you are a sibling here you are not the president of Pepsi here and I think stories like yours where it's like yes this was a very tough pregnancy but like you are just basking in this joy is also so important for women like me to hear to know that it's not all scary.

48:14Yeah. But in that same breath, it's like when we were at the retreat, you were like, I don't know if there will be a second one for me because of what it was like. Yeah. Why did you say that? I said it because the pregnancy was really tough and I'm not a person who enjoys physical discomfort. Okay. I love that. And then birth also was hard and the recovery was hard. You know, so as someone who, you know, my parents told me recently that I used to, when I was learning how to crawl, I would pick my knees up because I didn't want to scrape my knees. So that's what we're talking about. We're talking about the girl who doesn't like needles, would never get a tattoo, avoided the dentist, like that person going through this physical, very physically taxing.

48:59And that's why I'm even more in awe of women because women just, they rock and roll. They like push through it. and so because of that I think and I feel so fabulous about my daughter I'm like I think this this might be this might be perfect yeah like I did it I was able to do it great let's keep moving and let's enjoy every single moment with her that we can what do you tell yourself when you see somebody making a decision where you're like I wouldn't do that or I wouldn't put her in that or I wouldn't do the company like how do you calm yourself off of the ledge from jumping in and trying to micromanage the situation.

49:34It depends on what it is. If it is truly, like I will take a step back really quickly and assess, is this going to be something that's going to have severe consequences? Oh, she may be allergic and you're trying to feed her peanut butter. You know, if it's something like that, step in. Right. Or for the business, if it's something that could be detrimental. Detrimental. Exactly. Step in immediately and say, hey, have we thought about this? Hey, let's just quick pause. If not, like let it ride. Yeah. Otherwise, the people who we bring around us, whether in work or in our personal lives, are going to be like, oh my God, you think you can do it so well?

50:09You do it. And also it makes people complacent. Then they look to us for all of the answers. So we're doing multiple, we're thinking for multiple people. No, if I'm bringing you in, and I say this to my team, if you are being hired at my company and you're even an intern, whatever we're hiring you for, you better be better at it than me. So smart. That's my job. My job is to hire the best of the best. I can rest on my laurels saying I hired the best person. But I don't get intimidated or insecure. Like I've heard of people saying that they're insecure that, oh, I brought on a really senior role and they know so much more.

50:46Amazing. You had the foresight to bring that person in. Awesome. And they're on the journey with you. Wow. Otherwise, I'm going to be trying to be the best of everything. And all these people are going to be like, all right, well, then you can do the job. So true. We need to do some rapid fires. You can only pick one for the rest of your life. OK. Pasta or pizza? Definitely pizza. What's your go to order? My go to order is a cheese pizza with jalapenos and pineapple and then pouring Brightland pizza oil on top. OK, I love it. Cooking at home or eating out? I would say eating out, actually. Yeah, I'm a restaurant person.

51:28I mean, I do. I love cooking at home. We do it a lot. But I love dining out culture. I love restaurants. I love the like the lighting and people watching and the music. And yeah, I love it. What's your favorite restaurant for L.A.? I love a restaurant in downtown L.A. called La Sita. It's in Chinatown. It's this fabulous Filipino spot that has killer natural wine, great food, and it's always a good vibe. Love that. Spring or fall harvest? Spring for sure. What's like the go-to in the spring? Oh, I love like a good, like a lot of basil, basil oil from Brightland, asparagus, some really nice strawberries, like start of strawberry season.

52:12Yeah, it's really, I don't know, verdant. Zero inbox or zero on your calendar? I think I have 16 ,000 emails I'm like that person probably zero inbox you'd rather zero inbox yeah you like to be booked and busy yes I think I know the answer but live tv or tiktok live tv do you love live tv I do love live tv I think you'd be really good at it I think thank you oh my god I love it I also think there's something about I wish that Brightland had existed in the 80s or that I was old enough to like launch Brightland in the 80s I love catalogs I love TV there's something have you guys ever tried stuff like like catalogs yeah we've done holiday catalogs we love doing them love it I feel like you guys need a magazine like a Martha Stewart magazine dream like you need that if you could have a celebrity chef cook for you every single night who would it be Ina garden tell me more oh my god I mean she's so classic she would have a killer sense of humor I think that she would like open a bottle of wine in between.

53:17Nothing would be too precious, but at the same time, it would be beautiful and elegant and lovely, but perfectly imperfect. And I know that I would walk into something like the dinner would look timeless. What do you think is a wellness trend that we should not be buying into? Oh, I mean, the protein thing, I'm a little bit. Yes, let's let's make sure we're getting the right amount of protein and let's be thoughtful about how we're getting it. But I'm seeing brands that are like stuffing protein into something that's already not healthy. Agree. Candy bar or chips. Popcorn. Yeah. I'm a little bit at any.

53:57I'm unease about that. Honestly, my thing with food is just eating what I can pronounce. I love that. And that was actually really interesting because I do love a bar on the go because obviously I have celiac. So like it's hard sometimes to eat when you're on the go. I was actually loving looking at the ingredients of btr bars that we were just with because I can actually pronounce everything that's in her bar but that's so rare she's one of the few people with a bar company and you turn it around and you're like oh there's like seven ingredients in this well did you hear about this whole drama with like david's and like them buying this ingredients player and I'm like I can't pronounce any of the things that are going into this bar like why would I want to be eating this bar that I can't pronounce the ingredients of well and on top of it I heard that it doesn't pass through the human body no it doesn't really digest in you that that sole ingredient that makes it so low in calories zero sugar like there's an ingredient called epigy or epg that's what they just bought the supply chain for and there's like all these like non-competes against them right so I'm all about innovation but when it comes to the food we eat can we be a little more mindful and say hey we want to be able to eat things that are well-sourced, well-made, and also we can pronounce the name.

55:10A thousand percent. And we can digest them. Yeah, and digest them properly. Aishwarya, I'm like obsessed with you. My community is the best. They always want me to ask my people, how can they help you? Are you hiring for roles? Do you have freelance work? Like where can they follow you? Where can they buy it? Like just like what do you have going on? Few things. We are launching at Whole Foods with our everyday line. We came out with an everyday cooking oil and an everyday salad oil. perfect for your salads, perfect for cooking. Both are launching at Whole Foods nationwide on August 15th. Perfect timing for this episode.

55:44Yay. OK, amazing. So please go and buy it. It would mean the world to us. I also am really interested in late summer like barbecues, picnics. So if you're a creator, no matter how many followers you have and you want to do something with your friends, reach out to me on Instagram. I'm at helloishwarya and DM me being like, hey, I want to host a picnic or I want to host a little barbecue in my backyard. I'm thinking for this many people and we want to help you make that happen. And I really, really want to do that for people. And where can people find you if you're online? If I'm online and I haven't deleted Instagram that week or weekend, I'm at helloishwarya on my personal.

56:27I'm at wearebrightland is Brightlands. Do you have a sub stack yet? I don't have a sub stack, but I'm thinking about starting something at the intersection of spirituality and business. Love it. And talking about like a lot of the things that we just talked about, except like taking a theme from the meditation that I do and talking about how that applies to business. Love it. So I'm thinking about that, but we'll see. I'm also just living my life. And with a six month old little perfect baby girl. Exactly. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I'm so happy we did this and everybody please go follow support and send us pictures of your picnic because that's very HSR coded yeah seriously DM me thank you so much Maggie bye you guys bye

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