Valeria Lipovetsky: They Called Me A 'Trophy Wife' (Here Is How I Proved Them Wrong!)

21:48Valeria Lipovetsky:It's so powerful. What did you learn about yourself once you actually pressed post and you saw everyone's comments? I was really proud of myself. I was proud of myself for the level of vulnerability that I was willing to put out there. I was really proud of myself for the self-awareness, for not being scared. like it was kind of like another chain of other people's opinions kind of got released you know what i mean because once you do it yourself and you start taking these moments and putting them publicly they just they don't mean as much you just realize that it's like this is such a silly thing yeah like how did that scare me before so you are in this place where you're like i'm so happy i can be myself you're putting everything you have back into valeria inc which now at that time you have a CEO for, correct?

22:39Valeria Lipovetsky:Yeah. You and your husband are both co-creators of this holding company. What do you do next? Well, for me, now that my schedule freed up from all the responsibilities that that company took, I then moved back full force into content. I was like, okay, now I need to, it doesn't mean that I'm actually slowing down or taking my time. Now it's like, I need to double down on what we're doing on the media side. I started to get more creative. I started to film more. I decided that, you know, we're going to start thinking about a podcast, like all the things. It's also was during a time where we moved to Miami.

23:16So I'm like, now I need to take time to build relationships here. So I really went deep into this one focus.

23:23Valeria Lipovetsky:I think what's so fascinating to me about you and why I think you are such a hallmark legacy creator that has like is going to leave a legacy on this world when so many creators will be forgotten is because there feels to me like there is a deeper purpose than just like making your life art. Like that is why I have felt connected to you as a creator. And like, it's like the failure video of your business. Or like, I remember when you had just had a baby and you posted in a bathing suit with like a role. And I was like, wow, like, is there something deeper that I think fuels you other than just like making your life art?

24:01Valeria Lipovetsky:Well, it's interesting that you keep going back to art. So what does art mean to you? I think art means creativity. It means expression. It means freedom. Okay, so I agree. Something that I love about the concept of art is that it leaves something with everyone, whether you think it's stupid, or you don't connect, or you're like, I can do this, or you're like inspired, or it makes you see different things or life in a different way. So to me, that's art. And that art pushes me to push myself constantly to my limits and learning more about myself and then share it with the world so they can see another angle of how they can learn about themselves.

24:41The purpose is exactly that. The purpose is to be a mirror, be somebody that people, like the fact that you remember these videos so vividly means that I've done my job. I want in, you know, three, four years when you're going to have your kids, you're going to sit and you're going to feel shitty about yourself and you're going to close your eyes and you're going to remember Valeria with that video of just giving birth and it's going to like spark something in you. To me, I made my, this is my purpose. My purpose is for just like constantly be a reminder through content of how important or not important or silly or empowering, you know, these human experiences.

25:23When I create my content, I create it for myself. Honestly, I don't create it for other people because if I create it for other people, then I lose myself in the process and I'm not able to communicate the way that I want to. and I ask myself, what would I want to see? What would I want to feel? Because the thing that I've learned through social media is that although we all come from different walks of life, we all go through the same thing, the same seasons. And you just need this like one lifeline or one example to kind of just bring you back to yourself. And I do that for myself. Like I am that example.

25:57I am that person for myself. And thankfully it resonates with other people

26:01Valeria Lipovetsky:and they see that in my content as well. Yeah. You were just compared in the New York Times to being the Tony Robbins of influencing. Does that feel like a lot of pressure? No, I don't take any of these things. Wait, have you been to Tony Robbins Summit? No. So he does have a huge influence of people. And I think that is kind of what you're doing with the creator method. Can you speak a little bit about how that came to be after you dove back into content? You're like, but now I'm getting the itch again and I want to build something in media. Yes. So first of all, thank you so much for the Tony Robbins remark.

26:38But in terms of what I kind of sought to build with Creator Method. So once we were done with the e-commerce, my focus went back to the media. But of course, we're constantly looking for opportunities to continue developing that holding company and to create more businesses out of it. So we already at that point started investing in different companies, becoming like strategic partners in different things. And what we ran into is this kind of world of seeing the creator economy growing really, really fast. But there was nobody that was guiding those creators. There was no one out there that beside the kind of cheap, like, let me show you how to go viral type of kind of teachers.

27:24There was nothing else. So Gary was the one who started talking about, let's create some classes. You know, we have all this experience. We build a team of 20 people. We've learned, like we were building the plane while flying it. We have so much experience that a lot of my peers that had been around for much longer and had much bigger audiences, they weren't making the kind of money that I was making. They would come to us, be like, how do I monetize this? How do I do this properly? How do I build a team? They all belong to an agency that they're one of 10 ,000 people, talents that they're representing.

28:01So we kind of identified that there was a missing guiding kind of educational platform out there. So it started with just, let's film a bunch of kind of tutorials, classes, workshops, and just put it out there. Whoever wants it, wants it. But what I wanted to do, and it actually happened in the middle of us filming those classes, I looked at Gary and Rachel, our CEO, and I was like, we need to shift gears. I don't want to just build something where it's just this monetary exchange where here's a class you learn, whatever. I want a community. I want to guide the next version, the next kind of wave of creators to become their own entities.

28:44Because that to me is what's missing. People that are creative, they usually don't know how to run a business. If you are in an expert, you're a dentist or whatever, you don't know how to be a creative. There's this constantly lack of, you know, doing both and not understanding how to navigate that. And I wanted to empower people to learn everything that they need to learn. So this is how Creator Method really was born. It's been amazing to see the autonomy that people are getting over their own careers and their own lives. And, you know, I mentioned that we have experts, we have plastic surgeons, we have real estate agents, We have people that own different businesses.

29:25We have, you know, the stay-at-home moms that are trying to leave their nine to five because they want to be home. We have all these different cohorts of people that have their own needs and wants. And where are the people that they come to where we can both be the emotional support, but also the business support? Let me show you how to read a contract. Let me show you how to negotiate. Let me show you how to get brands to come to you. How much should you charge? How do you continue to be creative? How do you tell your story when you're in a business of, you know, selling cars? There's just so much out there.

29:58It really created this whole other mission for us to empower people to kind of take advantage of this growing economy and to build their own mini empires.

30:13Valeria Lipovetsky:Yeah. No, it's crazy. I saw that the creator economy right now is worth$250 billion. And then in 2027, it's going to double that and be worth over$400 billion. You guys have been doing this for nine years. I'm so interested because I know you probably can't pick favorite children, but you are someone that sees a lot of creators, whether it's like in your personal life or with creator method. It was really interesting to see in the New York Times article, Gary kind of said something like this is all teachable, but there has to be those like standout superstars for people listening, like, what is it about someone where you're just like, you have the thing?

30:49You see, this is crazy, because I see creators that we've had in the program. I mean, the program is almost like a little bit over a year. So we're still piloting, still building it, we're building our faculty, like there's a lot of things that we see happening with this. But with the creators that joined the first kind of wave, the people that I thought they just like don't have it naturally today are superstars. Because what I've learned on my own that it's more of like this self-discovery journey. It's how much you're able to open up. You know what I mean? It's not about what kind of story you have.

31:33It's how you tell the story. It's the emotional connection. It's all these things that are just like layers that you have to peel. So it's very hard to understand if that person has it naturally or not, because it depends on where they're at in their lives and their own kind of, you know, peeling the onion journey. Yeah. Some of them I meet, they come to us, they're ready, they're open and they're flowing and they know how to like engage people. But others are completely close, insecure, like I was when I started. And through months, I see how slowly they're like becoming more and more of themselves and they're more interesting to me.

32:13And I'm just like, oh, my God, all of this was in there. You know what I mean? And it takes people a lifetime to come to a point where they're like, this is who I am. Yeah. And say it out loud.

32:24Valeria Lipovetsky:Do you think that the people that are good online that aren't as good in person will struggle with the future of where the creator economy is going? Because we are focusing on these like in-person events. Yes. carrying a room and like the Tony Robbins, right? Like, can you teach that element of it? I don't know. I don't know either. I don't know. It's going to be interesting because I get so disappointed. I don't know if you're like this, but when I love someone online and then I meet them and they just are flat, I'm like, well, I find that a lot of people, it happens to them because most creators have social anxiety.

32:58I don't know if you do. I have crazy social anxiety. So it's very difficult for them to translate who they are in their room with the camera to who they are outside with people. It took me time to break through that as well. So again, you never know. People surprise you. I surprise myself. Like I feel comfortable going on stage and talking and I feel comfortable making jokes. I feel comfortable to say, I don't know. I feel comfortable doing a lot of things that before I tried to cover and that kind of made me fearful of any kind of exposure. But it was this kind of unlearning that I needed to do.

33:35And again, getting comfortable with myself. So I don't know. We'll see.

33:39Valeria Lipovetsky:If you want a place in 2026 where you don't have to worry about the algorithm or the charts, but you still want a profitable place to make money off of your brain and thoughts, then we need to talk about Beehive. It's a platform I've been using since 2023 that lets you start a newsletter, grow your audience and make money through a native ad network, paid subscriptions and digital products, all with a zero take on earnings. And that's where I went to turn my silly little TikToks into the beginning of my media empire. Beehive is now a sponsor of Hot Smart Rich. What started as a simple way to share my ideas became the place where I am my most vulnerable with my community, all of you, which combined with Beehive's built-in growth tools like boosts, recommendations, and referrals has helped me grow 100 % year over year, all while staying insanely engaged and connected to my angels.

34:34Valeria Lipovetsky:It's free to start, has preset templates, and an AI website builder to get your newsletter and website up and running so fast. If you want to give it a try, head to beehive.com slash HSR for 30 % off your first three months, but make sure you enter the code HSR30 at checkout. That's B-E-E-H-I-I-V dot com slash HSR with code HSR30. Good sleep is everything. That's why Oli's Science Back Support is made with a blend of melatonin and L-theanine for both kiddos and grown-ups. So when your mind won't switch off, you've got something that can help. Erasing thoughts and restless nights won't stand a chance.

35:16Valeria Lipovetsky:Find Oli's sleep solutions for the whole family at Oli.com. That's O-L-L-Y dot com. This episode is brought to you by Indeed. Stop waiting around for the perfect candidate. Instead, use Indeed Sponsored Jobs to find the right people with the right skills fast. It's a simple way to make sure your listing is the first candidate C. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs have four times more applicants than non-sponsored jobs. So go build your dream team today with Indeed. Get a$75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. I feel like one of the things that you're an expert at is starting over and over and over again.

35:57Valeria Lipovetsky:Do you have a framework that you follow to like start your life over? I just follow my fears. So whatever scares me, I do. I want to get to a point where I feel limitless and you can only feel it when you kind of grab into the things that feel limiting to you. I got a message from HSR Angel. I called them last night and she's like, I've had the same idea for 10 years and I've never done it. Like, how do you just do it? And I feel like I've watched you for so long to know that you just start. Yeah. What would you tell that person that's in that same position? That's just like I am so afraid I don't know what to do to just start Sit down and envision yourself in five years Is that fear gonna feel as big as it feels right now?

36:42Are you gonna look back and ask yourself the question of should i've done it like all these things to me? Regret is the worst thing in the world like something that you could have done But you didn't do because failure is whatever. It's just a lesson I always kind of trying to project forward and be like the future version of me. She's going to be proud of the choices that I made. Yes or no. It's very simple. And I think that helps me a lot through those, you know, fears.

37:07Valeria Lipovetsky:Is there something that you regret in your life that you wish you did and you didn't? Absolutely nothing. Really? Do you? Actually, can I be honest? Yeah. You actually helped me get through this. I wasted so much of my 20s caring what people thought about me. And I regret not putting myself online earlier and showing my true personality. And I feel like I am just coming into that. And I hate to say this because I was confident before my husband, but my husband gives me the confidence to go and take risks I never would have. And I do not care what people think about me. But I do actually regret in my 20s, like I could have been so much further along than where I'm at.

37:54Valeria Lipovetsky:I disagree. Really? I disagree. And I'll tell you why. In our 20s, we operate under the impression of the world is out there to tell me who to be. And it doesn't matter how, you know, wise you are or smart you are or advanced. This is like we're constantly getting that feedback. That's what 20s is for. This is why I always talk about like there are no mistakes. You go you fuck it up. You sleep with people. You have to learn. You're gathering information. You know what I mean? I started social media. I was 26, 27. I already had two kids. I had a husband that was like my biggest supporter. I had a very strong foundation.

38:29So trust me that every little comment, I would run to Gary and be like, oh my God, I can't do this anymore. Like, this is so hurtful. And he would literally had to sit me down and be like, this is the reality. Look what we're building. Look what you're doing. Look what's happening in our lives. And I'm like, oh, right. If I did not have that, it would have ruined me because I did continuously gotten this negative feedback where people seeing somebody with courage coming out, sharing themselves, that triggers something in them. So they're out there to get you because you're making them feel uncomfortable.

39:07Do you know what I mean? Totally. So putting yourself out there online when you don't have a person like your husband today to remind you of who you are, right? To open yourself up to millions of people. That's a scary thing to do. A lot of people, I see a lot of people get lost in that because the 20s is that period. So I actually think that your 20s were a time. I loved how I'm analyzing you right now. if your 20s was a time to figure out yourself without the eyeballs of all these people, you found this partner. And now you just like you run. You're not walking. You're running right now. But you can run now because you walked in your 20s.

39:50Valeria Lipovetsky:You know what I mean? Yeah. It sounds like your husband has been there for you, like no matter what has happened in the business, in your personal life. I want to talk about your relationship a little bit. Yeah. A 14 year age gap. You were 20. Yeah. He was 38. Yes. Talk to me a little bit about your dynamic with your husband today. Well, today it's different. Today I feel like an equal. I am okay and very comfortable when I have a different opinion, when we disagree. I learn how to stand kind of on my own and And also learn how to communicate with him in a way that works for me and him because we have very different communication styles.

40:36It's very different today. Today, I also don't take things personally. Like I became a better entrepreneur and I know how to navigate difficult conversations. I didn't have that when I was in my 20s. So a lot has changed. I feel like we're in a good place. But also this week, it's the week before my cycle. So, I mean, I'm ready to burn the house down. So I don't know if this is a good time to talk about that.

41:01Valeria Lipovetsky:I'm the exact same way. By the way, like my skin is breaking out. I'm like, okay, it's coming. But I feel that. I feel like what's so interesting about hearing that is not that many marriages can become stronger or survive when there is such a big power dynamic shift and like evolution. Well, the thing is, that's very interesting to note with the age gap, something that happens And I don't think a lot of men take that into consideration. Maybe they do. I don't know. But when you marry somebody that is in her early 20s, you're going to experience three different people in a span of like 10 years.

41:41Because the shift from 20 to your early 30s or mid 30s is you've changed 100 times. so a lot of men they don't know how to be patient and how to sit and kind of watch from the sidelines and run in when it's time to kind of hold you or give you a hug a lot of men are trying to be like i've done this let me show you how it's done so we can like wrap it up you know what i mean so that's a big thing a big credit that i give gary that the man has the patience of a saint because he had to experience me going through a lot of lessons. And it doesn't matter what he says. It doesn't matter his advice. I need to experience it on my own.

42:22So that can, you know, mess up certain ideas that people have about a relationship. But this is where it's important, where the values are aligned. And, you know, the foundation is strong. You can kind of withstand all these changes.

42:39Valeria Lipovetsky:But it's interesting because even taking a moment to acknowledge like his patience with you and the way that he's probably lived the same patterns twice now, right? And not stepped in. Your relationship and Gary specifically has always been the center of criticism. Why? We live in a society that loves labels. Like we're very simple animals and we need to, this is good, this is bad. He's this, she's that, you know, and I've kind of got used to it because it first started when we got together and it was in our community that people were saying different things. And then it obviously went online and then you have the world saying different things.

43:22But I just, I give people the benefit of the doubt, you know, before it was important for me to kind of prove myself. And now I don't like I actually love the traditional structure that we have at home. He leads. I want him to lead. I don't need to lead. Before I wanted to lead. And we had a lot of clashes because I needed to understand my ego and where what am I trying to prove into who now I'm like, you do your thing like you're the I want you to feel empowered to make those decisions. And then in business, it's like it's a little bit different. Like the, you know, every day I can lead or he leads depends on what we're kind of covering.

44:05But this is where working together can be, you know, a very interesting dance.

44:11Valeria Lipovetsky:Well, it's interesting even the language that you chose at the beginning when we were talking, when he saw the$10 ,000 in the bank account and asked for permission to join, right? And that sounds like one of the first parts of your relationship or times in your relationship, where it's like you now suddenly hold power that like you get to choose what the involvement will be. Yeah. What is the dynamic of decision making and like what's in your marriage from 14 years? Yeah. To where it is today now that like you are equally as important to the business, if not more than Gary. Well, I think from the get go, something that was very important for Gary is to make sure that there is no resentment that is being built.

44:52Because again, he comes in with a man-mind action, like how do we make this happen, where the product is me, right? So it's very interesting dynamic in general to be part of, because I started, there were times where I was like, you're pushing me too much. But it didn't come from a place of, and by the way, that was also criticism, like he constantly, he makes her work, and he makes her this, and he just wants money. But he also saw that I am cracking, you know, like that that pressure is creating like a diamond. And I'm so grateful that it didn't back down. And he knew when to like push a little harder and knew how to support me when I was going through hard times.

45:37But he didn't say like, OK, you know what? This is too much for you. Don't worry about it. Because to me, that would have changed the trajectory of who I became and our life today. so first of all huge like thank you for that and that's something that a man truly needs to feel comfortable in the relationship and really knowing their partner to be able to do that you know but the dynamic today of decision making is again like i think we got to a point where he respects me i've kind of shown my entrepreneurial kind of mind and spirit that i build up through the years of honestly watching him he taught me so much and now i feel like we're he has more experience, but I do have a vision that I see he really appreciates.

46:20And it depends on what it is that we're touching or doing. He knows his role. I know my role. And when I need his opinion, I'll come to him and ask for his opinion. But he knows if I don't ask, you don't need to be involved. And the same thing goes for him. So it's very much more structured now. And we make the big decisions we make together, strategic decisions, but there's also a lot of trust and respect. And I know that the decision, the decisions that he makes is for a goal that we're both aligned on.

46:51Valeria Lipovetsky:Yeah. What I love about your guys is dynamic. And I think it's almost like unwarranted hate is you guys will have disagreements almost like on your podcast. Yeah. And you then open yourself up to a lot of that. Is that intentional? Or are you just like people are going to learn from this? So I want people to learn from it because you're going to meet different people in your life. You might marry somebody that is a different communicator. And Gary and I are the perfect example. We are so different in the way we see life and the way we communicate about it. But I respect his way because I learn a lot from it about him and about myself.

47:34and I think he respects my way. The thing is that people don't have capacity to look beyond the, you know, we're in a society of like red flag, red flag, diagnosis, label. So it's very difficult for people to sit in and just kind of like, oh, this is interesting. Like he has a very old school mindset, but I can respect, you know, certain things there, disagree with others. People don't do that anymore. There's no like nuance. There's no, it's interesting because I've seen recently how some people are like, oh, they're doing this on purpose. They're just trying to trigger us. No, this is how we communicate.

48:11Valeria Lipovetsky:No, and I honestly love it because I think so my favorite podcaster, Stephen Bartlett, he has been very vocal about not picking a side when it relates to politics and being able to have really interesting discussions with both people. And I don't know if you feel this from being in Canada for so long, but like it wasn't like that in Canada. And it wasn't so extreme. And I think like to your point, we're in this society where it's like pick a side. There's no nuance anymore. It's black or it's white. But now it's the same in Canada. I just think it's in general like everywhere. Yes. But I think what is so interesting about your and Gary's dynamic is it's like it feels like it's fluid and it goes whether it's in work or it's at the home.

48:48Valeria Lipovetsky:And I have the same thing with my sister. I get this question all the time. How do you work with your family? It is so interesting. Like we have unspoken rules of our relationship. where like on the weekend when I want to see her son on FaceTime, I know to call on FaceTime and not on WhatsApp call because she's going to know this is not a work call. This is like to see her son. So it's like there's these unspoken rules that make it work or she would decline my call if she's like, why are you calling me on a Saturday? I'm with my son. What are some of the unspoken rules of your and Gary's relationship that like allow you to have built such a profitable business and a marriage that has survived criticism, evolution, the way that you have over the last 14 years?

49:27It's a great question. I don't think we have unspoken rules. I think the only kind of thing is we go back to each other. Like, again, we have this mission. Our mission is to build something that we're proud of, that gives us purpose, and to model this to our children, right? So it all goes back to that. And that's our North Star. And that's it. And whatever needs to be done in order to be aligned with that is what needs to be done.

49:54Valeria Lipovetsky:Okay. I am so excited to have someone in this chair. I just see myself in you so much. But so I just went through my prenup process. And I think like it's interesting because, you know, I definitely I entered into this with like a ton of IP and a ton of potential. And like we do have an age gap where like I see what I can do in the next 14 years. Right. And it's massive. I'm so interested to hear from you because I know that you guys have talked openly about having a prenup. Can you quickly just give some context to this of like the prenup process and how you felt as a 20 year old negotiating with a 38 year old that was already successful?

50:32Yeah. So the prenup was an interesting conversation because it was at a time where we still lived under this idea that prenup means that he doesn't love you or prenup means that he sees this or that you're a gold digger or that you're a gold digger we also met at a time where and were engaged about to get married at a time where gary sold a piece of his company and that was a big deal so he also had the board the vc being like hey you need a prenup because you're still like the majority shareholder of this company so he kind of came to me i remember like we sat down for dinner and he has this like sad puppy dog eyes and he's like I really need to talk to you about something but I really want you to like not get emotional about it if it was up to me I would probably not bring this up and wouldn't deal with it at all but this is something that I need and then he was talking to me about prenup and I kind of looked at him and I'm just like okay sure whatever like I'll sign whatever you need to sign because I don't I didn't think about, I was 21.

51:34I'm like, I'm in love. This is great. This is a man, a provider, like all good. Didn't think, didn't know what I'm going to be doing. And he said, listen, I understand that maybe you don't really realize the power of it. So I want you to get a lawyer. I want you to go to that lawyer. You talk to them, ask all the questions. I need you to be very clear on what it is that you're signing and what it means. And I'm like, okay. And I just remember I went to this lawyer and I just I was educated like she schooled me yeah and it felt so empowering and I was extremely aligned with everything and I just remember walking out of that office being like I don't understand why this is such a dirty word like why is prenup this like big scary thing I felt like it was actually an insurance policy for me you know so that was that I mean we signed

52:26Valeria Lipovetsky:the prenup and we went along. I saw this TikTok that was like a prenup will make you feel more safe and secure with the right man. The wrong man will make you feel insecure and like you're being taken advantage of. I feel the exact same way, but I'm so interested because I'm manifesting that my husband and my dynamic also evolves, right? He in our current dynamic, not that he ever makes me feel this way, but has more experience, has more resources. It was even evident as we were going through our process, like the amount of people that were helping him and going to him. And I had no one, right?

53:02Valeria Lipovetsky:I had my lawyer. And like, so I'm more asking from like a personal interest perspective, but like, have you guys ever talked about like your pre-nup 14 years later? Has it evolved? Like, where is that mentality for you now that you've done such a big thing since you signed that as a 21 year old girl? I actually did bring it up a couple of months ago and he's like, why are you talking about this? He right away is like alarmed. I'm like, no, I'm just curious. But you know what? I mean, since then, everything, like the properties that we own, the businesses that we're part of, like my name is everywhere, right?

53:39So that's something that I pay attention to. We are co-owners of everything. Yeah, he came in with his own kind of assets. But at this point, like we so outgrew the prenup that we had initially that I don't even know if it's still valid. Yeah, I don't think it's valid. I actually think he should ask me about revisiting the prenup. Be like, hey, let's see what's going on there. But I actually, yeah, that's what it was. And he told me, he's like, I really don't think it's relevant anymore. So if you want to check it out, if we need to update anything, and I was like, yeah, whatever. And I kind of moved along.

54:18Valeria Lipovetsky:But yeah, I'm curious. I think it's interesting. So even in my prenup, and I never really tell people what's in it, but I think this is actually a really interesting point that I am happy to share. There is a number, if my net worth gets passed, that the prenup does actually become invalid and there is something new that gets put together. I actually wanted a clause in my prenup that it would be revisited every five years based on what I believe I will be able to do in the next five and ten years. my husband actually said no because he was like it was a challenging process for us ours was a little different than yours sounds like yours was and he said for the sake of our marriage I do not want to have to revisit this every five or ten years because it just brings up you it's like therapy yeah you have to go through it and it's like you just feel things that aren't what you always want to feel I'm so grateful I went through it I feel so empowered I went through it but I don't know if I would necessarily want to revisit it every five or 10 years now.

55:17Valeria Lipovetsky:I mean, I love where you were going with it. I understand the logic, but I agree that five to 10 years is not something you want to do. I do think you need to revisit your marriage contract, not prenup, the unspoken contract of like how your marriage is. And this is, you know, an older friend of mine taught me that where you have to renegotiate the marriage contract. So the marriage contract is basically, again the way you start today and your expectations and your needs they change and what happens a lot of the times is that people don't communicate those changes so it's like something big has to happen in order for them to either break it off or sit down and be like okay how do we save ourselves now from this crisis that we're having so kind of renegotiating the expectations and putting everything on the table every like five to seven years is very healthy of like a stupid example I said years ago to Gary, I'm like, don't buy me flowers.

56:12I hate flowers. Like what a waste of time. And recently it was Valentine's day and I didn't get any flowers. And I was just like really upset all day. And he came to me. He's like, what's going on? And I literally was like, why didn't you buy me flowers? It's not a big request. And he's like, what are you talking about? You told me you don't appreciate flowers. Why would I do something you don't care for? And I was like, no, it changed. I want flowers. Now he's like, please let me know. like please yeah they can't read your mind you I can't read your mind so it's kind of like the same premise obviously on a bigger scale but that's something that should happen every like five to seven years okay but with the prenup I agree I think that um I think that a number is a better kind of place to do it where it's like we hit this let's revisit this I actually love

57:01Valeria Lipovetsky:the way that he thought about it from before I obviously watch all your podcasts everyone and listen to Not Alone, where he was talking about it was always your money. Yeah, there was always one bank account. But you kind of came from like a capital T of like being actually, I never thought it was my money. Do you now have the frame of mind where it's like, this is our money no matter where it comes from? Yes, I still carry a little pocket of like, trauma based on witnessing my mother going through her relationships, you know, being married twice or three times now, where she thought that man is someone that she can rely on.

57:42And, you know, it was like a house of cards to me that will always be in the back of my mind. And I think it also is a reason why it took me so long to truly open up to Gary, even though we've been married for 14 years, I feel I let go a lot of the things I was holding on to as kind of like a shield in the past probably two years. So that will always be there. But I'm aware of it. And I do very much feel like it absolutely is our money. Like it doesn't keep me up at that. Yeah.

58:14Valeria Lipovetsky:Well, I think it's like it goes back to ostriching, right? It's like you don't want to deal with the things that you don't want to deal with. So you just ignore it. Yeah. And that's why like one of my biggest financial and I am not a personal finance expert. I am like a startup girl that has like bet everything on big risks. So I try not to give like too much personal finance advice. But the one thing that I really talk about is like looking at your bank account every single day. Like where did you spend money? What is going on? What is coming in? What is going out? And I think the same thing with relationships and marriages.

58:43Valeria Lipovetsky:Like if you are not wanting to deal with it, but then you want to go and spend like if you have no idea what's going on, you're putting undue stress on the dynamic. So I totally agree with you. You know what? I have a funny story about that. So we kind of got to a point, especially when we moved to Miami, was a big like, oh, shit, life is so expensive here. We have three kids. Like, it's a pricey time to be alive, you know? And we kind of sat down and we were making a lot of investments back into the business. And just the math was like alarming. and we decided to like, okay, let's track what we're spending because something is not, you know, aligned.

59:24And we did this exercise for maybe a couple of months. And then we both kind of looked at each other and Gary's like, I don't want to do this anymore. Let's just make more money. Like I can't, I'm spending so much energy and time and brain capacity to tracking what's going out. I I want to take all of that and focus on what to bring in. And I'm like, you know what? Yeah, that's more aligned with how we operate. And did you guys go do that? Absolutely.

59:49Valeria Lipovetsky:I love that. Absolutely. Okay, Valeria, I could talk to you forever. There's like five different themes I didn't get to talk to you about, but we do need to finish with some rapid fire. What is the last thing you put on your credit card? I just booked a trip to Mexico City with my girlfriends. You do a lot of girl trips. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, we're in an era where my husband is like leading the, you know, raising the kids now. So I'm kind of a supporting role. So I'm a supporting actress. So I'm taking this opportunity to just fill my own cup. I love that. What would you rather? More followers or a higher engagement rate?

1:00:31More followers because I like the challenge of learning how to tell a story that's more engaging.

1:00:37Valeria Lipovetsky:Love it. Okay, you can only pick one medium for the rest of your life Instagram, YouTube, or podcast I can't, I'm sorry I can't pick Because I change every like few months Yeah That's why I think I'm on so many different platforms Because I'm like, okay I feel like I'm on my Instagram era And now I'm going back to YouTube Which is by the way the thing I'm like, I want to go back to vlogging And then podcast We miss the vlogs I love the playing around with it Okay, but so you can't pick one I can't pick Okay, how many photos do you have on your phone? 10 ,500 that's it yeah well i i just got a new phone okay okay well how many photos did you have on your last phone i don't know i didn't check but listen i'm paying the most that google gives me google drive or whatever i have 200 ,000 i didn't know you can reach those do you want to hear this out of things this is how you'll see i have i've had problems putting myself out there you have over 7 000 photos that you've posted on instagram correct i have 278 that is shameful yeah you got a long way to go yeah so i have this tiktok i'm gonna make that's like this is the ratio of how much you care about what people think about you which is how many photos that you've actually posted compared to how many photos you have on your iphone well actually one of the things that gary covered in a recent creator method summit was this idea of like as a creator the thing that you need to be the least concerned about is the following.

1:02:06What you need to be concerned about is the number to the left, which is the amount of content you posted, because that you can control. And that's also your portfolio. So when you have 200 posts and you're like, why am I not there and there and there? Think about it in that way where it's like, you didn't do the walk. Look at it as 10 ,000 hours to master anything.

1:02:29Valeria Lipovetsky:You need to get there. Yeah, no, you honestly are giving me confidence. Like today I posted with my, I have a breakout. I posted like full bare skin. And I was like, what would Valeria Lipovetsky do? I love that. Okay, two more. This is going to be easy for you. Canada or the U.S.? The U.S. But I love Canada and grateful for what it gave me. If you had to title this season of your life, what would it be called? I would call it joy. This is a very joyful period of my life. I love it. Thank you for sharing your joy with us. Thank you. I had the best time. Valeria Lipovetsky, where can people find you?

1:03:05Valeria Lipovetsky:And how can we help you right now? Girl, where do we begin? Okay, where can you find me? First of all, thank you. This was so fun. Can do this for another two hours. You can find me at Valeria Lipovetsky anywhere. And then my podcast, Not Alone, which is available on all the podcast platforms. How can you help me? Nothing. We're friends now. So I'll hit you up. How can my community help you? I don't know. Let me think about it. But I like that question. I think that it's something that as women, we need to be comfortable. And like walk the walk. That's the thing. Like I might be embarrassed of my Instagram and like what people think about me.

1:03:42Valeria Lipovetsky:But why this show has grown so much is like I have had such invisible reputation with people of helping people. And so now like the return has been there without even needing to ask. And so I really do want you to come back to me before your email comes out. How can HSR help you? Let us know. I will let you know. Valeria Lepeski, thank you so much. You were one of my favorites and I can't wait to see you again soon. Thank you. Thanks, guys.