Airborne LIVE! w/ Scott Aukerman, Kumail Nanjiani, & Danielle Schneider (Classic)

25:57They were like, what can I do? Like, give me, I'm trying. I'll be in the shot. Oh, yeah, you want me in the shot? I'll be in the shot. Yeah, I'll improvise this, too. I will say the other bully, Jack Black's friend, was 35. Yeah. He was an older man. Yeah. He's complaining about his hemorrhoids. It was strange to see him surrounded by children. There are weird things that these kids say. I did. Oh, yeah. I wrote down some stuff. I have the, I have this, this basically. This is, at one point they have to like introduce themselves in speech class. Yes, this was. And there's one in particular that I really want to talk of.

26:39But it may just be worth watching some of these speech class things. It's pretty great. Name is Snake. I don't like speech. I never even signed up for it. And I ain't got no hobbies, unless you call collecting knives and putting tattoos across the foreheads of guys I don't like. Hobbies. The first one certainly is a hobby. Yeah. Really? Collecting knives? Yeah. And by the way, you would argue, is that the villain of the movie? No, it's just a stereotype. No. All of the villains have vaguely Hispanic names, including Jack Black. What's Jack Black's name? He's like... Javier something? Or maybe I'm the racist.

27:20Uh-oh. Augie is his name. No, but that's his nickname. Oh, okay. He introduces himself as like a Hispanic name. Oh, he has a long name. That's right. He has a long name. She gives one of my favorite speeches. I'd like to say who she finds hot. It's very timely. Oh, yeah. Here we go. This is the next one. I'm sorry. I'm coming at a snake. I love her. I want to be Al Pacino's love slave. Yeah. Now, if you didn't hear that, because I rewound it when I watch it. I want to be Al Pacino's love slave. Al Pacino's what? Love slave. Which I guess he was a hottie of the 90s. I Googled. She just had seen Scent of a Woman.

27:57Yeah, he had just done Scent of a Woman, where he plays a blind man. A blind veteran of Vietnam. Yeah, nobody watched that and was like, he should be my sex master. I'm a 15-year-old girl, and I would really love to be boned out by blind Al Pacino. Like, he's clearly, like, he's in his 50s at that point. Yeah, I had to rewind, too. I was like, did she just say old man Pacino as her love slave? Al Pacino's love slave. Makes me think that maybe the script was sitting, like, on the back burner for a long time. But then why would it be about... Rollerblading? It could have been roller skating. Yeah.

28:42It's so 90s. Everything is 90s. We don't have to do Mitchell Goosen. I mean, I don't know. Maybe we do. All right, let's go into it. Yeah, why not? These are all pretty great. So here we go. All right. Look at his. Here we go. Mitchell Goosen at your service. I'm not from around here. Hey. What to tell? Well, I don't have any stories. Don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Don't care. Just as long as I live near the beach and don't have to wear a tie. Then I'll be styling. Styling? What? Is having to wear a tie a big problem for a 15-year-old? By the way, he angers people. He angers me. I get it.

29:22I fucking hate him. I get it. I side with the bullies. Yeah, when the guy goes, I found myself, I'd already done that gesture. I was like, oh, he's doing it too. I guess we're supposed to hate Mitchell Goose. We are Cleveland in this movie. The audience is Cleveland. The way he does his hair when he gets up there. One finger through the side of it. Oh, man. He's wearing a seropi around a hoodie. But with a Baja under it. The customer is like, we really need people to know that he's a surfer. By the way, also, again, he doesn't even bring anything to them. You don't at the end, the bullies don't go like, oh, we should meditate.

30:09or we should wear this kind of thing. Yeah, he doesn't give them anything. Nobody learns anything in this movie. At one point I wrote down, he says, make waves, not war. He should have been shot. And by the way, you're not making waves when you're surfing. Yeah, you're not the moon. Good one, right? I nailed him, bro. Also in this scene, Everyone's being terrible to each other And the teacher just sits there The teacher needs to get control of his classroom The teacher is younger than the 35 year old bully And guess what people The teacher is the writer of the movie Sometimes the world just makes sense Just like writing in this movie He just zap back and let his characters Just go off on a journey I also at one point he says He's getting into a fight with a bully, and he says, I could give two left testicles about, and then something.

31:13Are you, like, volunteering someone else's testicle along with yours? I want to talk about what Mitchell Goosen does at high school, which is a lot of shit that I would never do. Like, first of all, he takes a shit. Yes. I've never taken a shit out of him. He's taking a long time with that shit. He takes out a magazine for that shit. He's not like scrambling in there trying to get it done as quickly as possible, running out. That's what I was doing in high school. Also, another thing he did, I've never seen a lead, a romantic lead of a high school movie take a shit. And I was shocked. Shocked.

31:52And walk around with like a sweaty, gross ass. To me, I literally was like, I'm no longer attracted to this child.

32:05I would argue that the follow-up scene is worse because they wet all the toilet paper part of their office. So what did they do? They wet all the toilet paper. They wet the toilet paper, but wouldn't you rather use wet toilet paper on your ass, which is sort of like having a Japanese toilet in a way, than just leaving the shit in your butthole? Wait. Yeah. Is the implication that he leaves the shit in his butthole? Yes, because he's walking around like this. Yeah. Because of the shit in his butthole? Yes. Like he stuffs the shit back up in his butthole. I would argue that... He didn't stuff the shit back in his...

32:39He scoops into the toilet, puts it back in... He's like, if I can't wipe, I gotta save this for later. I have to do this later. I would argue that even more disgusting than him taking a shit was him during the shower sequence leaning against a dirty shower wall. He is full on shampooing.

33:00But who leans against the shower wall? Of a public school bathroom in which no one else is showering, which made me believe that he just went in there for a shower break. It wasn't like the end of gym because there's no one else there. It's like private shower time. I literally, I was gagging with the thought of his back against a dirty wall. Like it made me so sick I had to festival. Were you gagging more there or when you saw this? Because this actually upset me. When Seth Green took a shower and on his wall was just like, it looks like vomit, like a vomit. What is that? Well, thank you to Averill Halley, our amazing video researcher.

33:47We have been looking and looking at this and she and I were emailing back and forth and she's like, I tried to figure it out. I zoomed in on it and I went all back. And this morning she emailed me and she goes, I figured it out. Does anyone think they know what's on that wall? Oh, what is it? Well, no, not what is the product. Do you see something written in there? That's what it is. The name of the girl that he was on a blind date with. This is okay. So many issues. First of all, baseline creepy. Beyond that, if you're in a movie, don't use product that's the same color as the wall. Yeah. There should be contrast.

34:23Just use shaving cream. That'll be white. No, we got to get a green thing. Green body fall. I don't even know what that is. It looks like, it looked like to me like, I don't know, like a snot wall or something. It's not like. I had a totally different image. I thought that this, this family was in trouble and that this house was decrepit and that grime and grease and no one is, I was worried and I'm not, I literally was like, this family's in trouble. My problem is who masturbates to a girl's name?

34:58Oh, Gloria! That's what I was doing before I had access to porn. I would just write down the name of the girl. I would just write down Cindy Crawford and read it while masturbating. Well, that scene is in front of, I think, my favorite scene in the whole movie, which is the clothing montage scene. Oh, God. And you know All movies in the 90s had this thing Where they tried on different outfits But I feel like this may be The first time you saw a dude do it I don't feel like dudes did And it was a solid 25 minute long scene I have each one of the outfits We can kind of look at You know First one obviously was First one my question was He has all these outfits?

35:45Yes There's a lot of styles that he has in his in his he's got a lot of looks so he's got the he got the motorcycle look clearly they were like oh seth green's a star let's give him a showcase here but can i say that goose guzman um was was just he was thrilled he was laughing he loved it he was laughing his ass off he was tickled as i've never seen this movie they like people laughing i mean when a joke gets told at the hockey rink too they're all like it's like a pan of just laughers like he pulled down his pants i've never seen people laugh that much at a pants pulled i once got a note on a script that said um we don't need the people in the in the movie laughing we need the audience laughing and i don't think that these people took that note that is a great note they were trying to trick us i'm trying Why does he have all this stuff?

36:40Yeah, it's a lot of, you know, he's just going through all the looks. It was very Sex and the City, this whole sequence. This one. Oh, this one. This is the one, though. I have a question about this whole montage. Are we supposed, is he trying to make Goosen laugh? Or are these to him viable options? Because he's goofing around, but also he's disappointed at some point that his friend is laughing at him. It slightly seems like he's trying to make him horny with this one. It is an odd thing. And I will go back to this. I really like Seth Green in this movie. I really like Jack Black in this movie.

37:14But my issue with Seth Green's character is I don't know how he is weird. He seems multiply weird. It's not like, oh, he's blank. It just seems like. He is weird in many different. Yes. Again, this is the whole movie. It's like four sports. He's five different. You wouldn't be like, oh, he's just the nerd. He's just the thing. He's nice. Because that's a Megadeth banner there. I wrote down some of the things in his room. It was like a racer head kiss, then just random skulls, then jack-o'-lanterns, and then Megadeth, and then ACD. It's all over the place. Yeah, I too was looking around his room for clues as to who he was, and I couldn't make heads or tails.

37:58When he first shows up and he turns the light on and it's all weird red. Yeah. And we're supposed to be like, what a dewey-bazoid. But I was like, that room's awesome. I liked his room. That's what I'm saying. I didn't understand where he's supposed to be. And in this sequence where he's wearing the mesh top and the pants, I was like, this guy could be the guy, was it the Butcher Bill from Signs of the Lambs, whatever that guy's name is. Buffalo Bill. Buffalo Bill, yeah. Yeah, no, when you first meet him, he's a fucking idiot. He's a monster. Like, he's dressed like an idiot. And that's the problem, though, with 90s movies.

38:31You know, fucking live your bliss, whatever. But the movie's trying to tell us something. But when you watch a 90s movie, that's the problem because he's supposed to be like an idiot in the 90s. But when you look at the 90s movies, everyone's kind of dressed like idiots. And you're like, oh, I don't know where the base is because the cool guy looks pretty... That guy's wearing a fucking poncho over a hoodie and he's the cool one. And he's like this all the time. This is not a podcast bit. but he really is smiling the entire movie. You can't find a still frame where the kid's not smiling. Well, he says, like, he also, like, oh, well, all right.

39:08He didn't stop smiling until he saw the box office receipts. Anyway. Kumail. Come on, Kumail. I'm so sorry. You can edit that out. I mean, this is a mean podcast, but that's too far. This was, I know this is the name of the podcast, but I was watching it truly, like, how did this get made? I was like, how did this get made? I feel like it was I feel like this is what it was Someone found out that there was a tax break In Cincinnati And they're like, if you can write a script in four days We can shoot this And you can be in it Yeah, and he's like, what? You can be the teacher

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43:08Yeah, so it's 2013. There was a big thing about 20-year anniversary rollerblading. When you say big thing Like they shut down all of Cincinnati All of Cincinnati All four shops Listen, the movie sucks Let's not take shots at Cincinnati No shots at Cincinnati No I don't know I believe that Cincinnati is very proud of this film Is that I have no facts to back that up But I believe they're very, very proud That's so sad When they do Oh, that was the one thing too When he is When he shows up Well, there's so many things When you first see him rollerblading around Cincinnati And he pulls out those rollerblades He creates a Creed-esque Kind of flash mob Of everyone on roller skates Like everyone has been secretly Having these roller skates And be like, oh wow, this guy brought out his blades I guess everyone He's been there, by the way, for three months at this point.

44:11Yeah. He obviously knows where all of these rollerbladers are and he's never gone to visit them or said, hey, by the way, I have a pair at home. I should get those shipped to me or whatever. He goes right to them. He knows exactly where they are. They have skate parks there. And he didn't seem to be, was he that much better than anybody else? At one point, someone says, man, he's fast. That's the only... The thing I was most impressed with is that he kept on running downstairs. Well, yeah. I was like, I never have seen rollerbladers like traverse staircases. Like I didn't know that was a part of rollerblading.

44:43Emily was there for like 10 minutes while I was watching it and she was like, she got genuinely sad because she was like, some stunt person risked his life for this movie. She was like, that bums me out. Because that is tough. Yeah, that was he, but that was pretty amazing in the film. Just effortlessly, and they did a lot of stair work. A lot of like, It was, yeah. He seemed to be sort of a Pied Piper of wheels during that scene where like anyone... He attracts wheels to him? People on wheels. You know, like any sort of like, there were kids sort of following his happiness. Cars suddenly came by him.

45:27And I think part of the thing that you like about... Pizza rollers. One of the things that you like about Rocky and Creed... Like Lizard. Lizard rollers.

45:38Those painting brushes that are circular for whatever reason. That helps you get paint quicker. Like in Rocky and Creed, they run every day. And then you would imagine, oh, after like three or four months of running every day, the town is like, oh, wow, they fucking run. I'm going to run every day. And then the group gets bigger and bigger and bigger. This is like the first day, really, within the first hour he puts on the blades. Everyone's immediately attracted to him. They've been waiting for years for someone with rollerblades to show up. Even though it's a town where the rollerblading scene is quite active.

46:12It is vibrant. So he's not doing anything that not everyone else is doing. Which brings me to that point that even the hockey team has a rollerblading league that they are great in. They're great in it. And then he comes, and he's just a little bit better than them. Is he? He's not. No. He jumps over a couple things, I feel like. They all do. Don't defend this movie, Paul. My favorite part, though, of that rollerblading hockey scene was when he was being chased by the preps. Like, conveniently, there's, like, a bunch of plywood over, like, a swampy area. So he could just, like, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, and, like, slide out.

46:52Yeah, you know the location scout scouted it when it was warm and dry. They showed up to the day. It was muddy. How the fuck are we going to film this scene? go get me five boards. Just random plywood and it was like it's an above shot so you're just looking down at just like weird plywood planks that like clearly provide the most convenient escape path. But yet the other people they're like ah shit he's on the plywood board. I can't get him. Who is the bad guy? I think it's in the end it's the prep who was a little bit date rapey at some point. Oh, yeah, he grabs the girl. Yeah. He does that weird thing I've never seen where he's like, come here, let's dance, and forces a woman to dance with him.

47:38Last dance of Mary Jane type of. It's like you're in like a Denny's. Yeah. By the way, that restaurant. All of a sudden the movie got real creepy. That restaurant, she says, hey, I know a really great restaurant. Good food, lots of people. Lots of people? Like, I've never heard that be a criteria for a good restaurant. Like, okay, yeah, the Yelp reviews. But how proud is it? Yeah. How many people are at this restaurant? Don't take me to one of those empty restaurants. I want to socialize and potentially bump into my brother and ex-boyfriend. And then they sit down and she looks around and goes, see what I tell you?

48:20They haven't eaten yet. She's merely talking about the number of people. But did you see, they did have a Cincinnati delicacy, strawberry jelly and peanut butter on a burger. Is that a Cincinnati thing? That is a Cincinnati treat that was originated at this restaurant. I think it's, oh, no, that's strawberry. Please, sir, I beg of you, please stop. Extortos. Could you just delete it so that that doesn't happen? What just popped up was Seth Green in the shower with the goo on the wall. Oh, man. But I would argue that... Oh, it has I'm Too Sexy in it. Oh! The one recognizable song. There are no recognizable hits other than I'm Too Sexy.

49:07They really wanted it to pop. But they have, like, a good, like... I wrote down a lyric of one of the songs when they're having their romance, like, I'm gonna pick you up in my personal limousine. personal limousine he's a limo driver who's sharing limos out there I have to say in the 90s that was a dream he'll have his personal limousine not the public one not the shared limousine and then the other line in that song was my love is goody love there's a lot of weird it's not bad a running joke in it is also that he calls people brah and they think he's calling them underwear oh yeah It's very similar to bro Put it together

49:55He's ahead of his time He's ahead of his time I would argue by the way too If we're talking about Who the hero of the movie is It might be Snake Because Snake Yeah Is the best rollerblader We know that Snake has no problem In Devil's backbone Which by the way Why doesn't he list that In his hobbies Rollerblading is a pretty big one Yeah He never takes out that knife And I've never seen him tattoo anyone. And it seems very social. No, he's, yeah. By the way, Devil's Backbone is not like you think oh, that's the back of a mountain. It's all of Cincinnati. It's the streets. The entirety of the city limits is Devil's Backbone.

50:38And they say about the race the only rules are there are no rules. And I was so then how do you know who's won? Well, she follows that up immediately by saying first three across the finish line win. But then, but here is my... A rule. Yes. Arguably a rule. A very important one. I also felt that it was just so confusing as to how they know exactly where to go. Yeah. It's devil's backbone. Well, Mitchell Goothman never even heard about it until two minutes. I know, but they've never brought up devil's backbone before. I've never heard it throughout the rest of the movie. There's no rollerblading races ever established.

51:19They rollerblade right past a stadium. A stadium. That's part of Devil's Backbone. Devil's Backbone is from the top of a mountain to a port. Like it really ends at a port. Right by the fucking water. And they also say we're going to settle this thing once and for all. What thing? That they always beat them at hockey. We're going to settle who's better at hockey by having a rollerblade race.

51:51I want to go Yeah, go ahead I would argue another rule of the race is Once you fall down, you're kind of out Because a lot of people are just like, boom And they're like, out Why? Just get back up They just seem like they take themselves out Way too easily Who, okay, this is going to sound Who wins the race? Because I was watching And I thought I was engaged But then the race was over and maybe I drifted. I'm sure I drifted. Did the main good guy win? Well, Snake came in first. Snake wins. It was a shock. Snake was one of three. It's two teams. Yes. First team to have three people across. Do you know how they have like team races?

52:33Team races, yes. That aren't like relay races? Sure. You're not handing off a baton. Everyone's just running, but certain people are on one team. Yes. This is a 15-minute race. Is it? Yeah. That none of the actors are there for. No. No. At one point, Jack Black kind of pretends he's on skates, and they're shooting him from waist up, and he kind of goes like this, and then it cuts to the rear view, and he's like 6 '2 and 175 pounds. This is, just so you can refresh your memory for the great action, this is the highlight reel of the race. They are in a building for some reason. A parking garage and a high level of a parking garage.

53:16Yeah, how is the high level of parking garage part of Devil's Backbone? And then he only gets airborne by jumping off of buildings, mind you. Like, it would have been cooler if he didn't jump. Yeah, like off of a half pipe or something. Oh, you're airborne. And he kills one of them right there. He murders a kid.

53:42And I'd argue that no one even saw him go airborne. I know I'm obsessed with the airborne-ness of it. There are no eyewitnesses to him being airborne. No, no one was like, oh, shit, did you see him go airborne? That part of the movie is sort of like him telling the story afterwards. Like, yeah, I jumped off a parking garage like three stories. Oh, sure you did. No one sees. Which makes me believe that the makers or the people who advertised this movie had no idea what it was about because here are some of the taglines, and it's the most taglines ever for a movie. Because I feel like, again, like the movie.

54:11Most sports ever for a movie. Here it goes. The world's only rock and rollerblade movie. I would have a lot of problems with that. No one plays music. The biggest song in it is I'm Too Sexy, which is not rock and roll. Not rock and roll. Here's the other one. Mitchell just became the most popular guy on earth. Dot, dot, dot. Once he took to the sky. He doesn't take to the sky. he does not become popular once he jumps over that car. It would have been Mitchell became the most popular guy on earth after he gave a wedgie to somebody in a hockey game. Yes. Can we talk? That sounds like what is the tagline again?

54:56Read it. Mitchell became the most popular guy on earth dot dot dot once he took to the sky. That sounds like it's a movie where the kid becomes an astronaut. That is truly what I am sure. And a nerdy kid. A nerdy kid. A nerdy kid. Like, goes to space camp. Yeah. He's a nerd even amongst those nerds. Right. But then, he's the one who takes the rocket up. He becomes popular. Right. Starring you and me. Yeah. What do you say? I'm the super nerdy kid. And I'm the bully. You're the preppy kid. I'm in. Because the premise of this movie is that the coolest kid in California moves to Ohio and it becomes the coolest kid in Ohio.

55:38Well, get ready. There's four more log lines. To air isn't human, it's necessary. Whoa! To air is inhuman? No, no. Oh, okay. And is air, A-I-R? Like A-I-R? To air isn't human, it's necessary. It's necessary that he jumps over that car. But like you said, he doesn't air. because it wasn't necessary. Yeah.

56:14Okay, here's another one. Tough stuff. There are two kinds of people, those who get airborne, dot, dot, dot, and those who don't. He is part of the former. I also have to say, if they had called this movie something different, they should have called this movie something different. It could have just been called Land and Sea. because there is it's surf and turf yes surf and turf surf and turf like yes there's no air like because I feel like they got really like they they put themselves in a corner with the airborne of it and so there's only one moment where he gets airborne and they're really hanging the whole movie and by the way it feels like like like the writer almost forgot oh shit I called this movie airborne he jumps off a building Oh good, I got it in on the last page Because he surfs Water, he rollerblades Ground, the one thing he doesn't take to Is the air That's the only like element What about fire?

57:19Well that's the logo Here is another one That's kind of great Heroes aren't made They air? They're airborne

57:35So, meaning born of air. That one isn't, yeah. And then the final one is... Give us the first half and we'll try and guess it. This one is, okay. Mitchell's life was a California dream, dot, dot, dot. Cincinnati nightmare? Yeah. Now it's a Cincinnati nightmare. I assume it's going to be something about being airborne. Oh, right. Let's find it. What is it? Mitchell's life was a California dream. Dot, dot, dot. That melted into thin air, boy. Like that. Very good. Super solid. Thank you. I'm going to. Any other guesses? Nah. I'll tell you, you'll be disappointed. Mitchell's life was a California dream.

58:24Dot, dot, dot. Oh, I'm so nervous. Until he woke up in Cincinnati.

58:31What?

58:34He didn't just wake up in Cincinnati. He got on a plane. He was sent there. Presumably, he did wake up in Cincinnati. Yes, but he didn't like, it wasn't like he's in California dreaming, and then he goes to see when he wakes up, he's in Cincinnati. Well, we didn't see the plane sequence, so maybe he was sleeping on the plane. But he gets off a plane. But he might have been sleeping on the plane. By the way, just to note the... That's not a big part. Honestly, though, I felt like that that was the most accurate of all of them. That was the only time he was airborne was when he was on the plane.

59:09His surfboard was airborne. He was airborne. Yeah. The stick is airborne. He's airborne. We're going to come to the audience here in a second. I just want to say one other thing. So this movie has a story by credit. So someone pitched this idea. By the way, this movie was originally not called airborne. No. You know. Whoever wrote the story, the original script. And then it was written and then this guy also gets credit for story. That's his only credit. That's Mr. Colley. But the guy who just came up with the story now is Mel Gibson's main producer.

59:44I have so many questions. Let's go into the... Wait, did he produce Hacksaw Ridge? I don't know about that. I should check that out. Did he produce Braveheart? Paul, where are you going? Paul, Paul! Paul! Paul, we need info! Paul! Paul! All right, let's go to the audience here. Paul! All right, sir, I'm going to go to you right now. Sir, come over here. Obviously, we've talked about Surf and Turf as being the perfect title. Is there another title that you can come up with for this film, or is there a better character name for Mitchell Goosen? I know, I'm putting you on the spot. Cincinnati snowboarding doesn't exist.

1:00:18All right, Cincinnati snowboarding, I'll say dot, dot, dot, doesn't exist. Honestly, it's the best we've heard. Yeah, longer title than we would normally have. Why doesn't he do snowboarding? Yes. The only time you see snow is on the tarmac. And it disappears rather quickly. Yeah. Okay. Talk to me about your question. What's your question? So he gets the rollerblades late, right? And his mom or his parents send it to him. So his parents found his rollerblades, took it to Australia, and then mailed it to him. Okay. I think I know what happened here. This dumb kid forgot his rollerblades. He paid a neighbor to break into his house, rummage through his stuff, and then the neighbor accidentally sent the blades to Australia, where a kangaroo put them on.

1:01:13All of that would make a better movie than this. I have a theory. The parents were never going to Australia. Paul, what are you doing over there? Paul, are you on rollerblades? I just bladed through this whole back The parents were never going to a store like that Did anyone notice in that first parent scene How they were sitting uncomfortably close Like they were about to fuck They had just fucked He had two fingers in her I don't know exactly what Exactly Those parents were creepy Your title or better character name And your question My name for the movie Life is a wave Love it Life is a wave What do you mean?

1:01:55Like, he takes the wave from California all the way, like, wherever he goes, you know? Like, sometimes it breaks for you, sometimes it breaks against you. Sometimes you get a sweet ride, sometimes you get fucking laid on your ass. Life's a wave, bro. Yeah. But you gotta ride it. Because if you don't ride it, you won't do it, bro. Life is a wave. And my question is There is a serious lack of Adult responsibility in this movie There are very few adults Taking responsibility for any of these kids Actions they were rollerblading Through the streets for a long time No cops stopped them Where are the police?

1:02:37Yeah It's not like Cincinnati has a ton of shit Going on where they don't notice This would be like evening news And the only adult you kind of see in the movie is the teacher in the beginning. He wrote himself into it. Right, and he lets the kids do whatever they want. They're like fighting in front of the class, and he's just like, next person, keep going. We need to get through these speeches. At one point, Edie McClurg almost calls the cops on the lead guy because he's sleeping? Yeah. And she's afraid he's dead. Oh, yeah. By the way, I have to say, those are my two favorite characters in the entire movie.

1:03:17Edie McClurg from Ferris Bueller. And then her husband, who I feel like has been in everything, but when I looked at his IMDb, nothing felt familiar to me. They were hilarious, and I also felt like they improvised everything. She has, like, a legitimately great line when they're, like, driving first. They pick him up from the airport, and she's pointing out stuff, and she goes, there's the hole where the sausage factory used to be. I was like, this is going to be a good movie. I also like that they talk about hockey. Thank you very much for your question. They talk about hockey, and then they go, like, let's get, let's, are you feeling frisky?

1:03:51And he's like, yeah, I'll get out the twister. And I don't know what it was that they were getting turned on or something. Let me see it back here. All right. Yes, you back here. Your name of your movie, your character name, whatever you want, and your question. I'd say Stylin. That's a good movie. Yeah, it's a good title. Stylin is way better. We've touched on it, but one of the most important plot points is that the boy is pantsed. And that Jack Black says, funny. And everyone has the biggest reaction to this pantsing ever. Well, I don't know if that was a question. So you just think that, like, so that moment, the reaction is larger than what it should have been.

1:04:34Jack Black's reaction is insane. Insane. It's like he didn't know that men have butts. Well, it's as if this baby, by the way... He can't see his own butt. No, it's behind him. Of course not. And he's never been naked. He's gone through his entire life never seeing a butt. Wait a second. Guys, I just realized something. This is what Mitchell Goosen brings to Cincinnati. Pantsing. He doesn't bring... Why not call this movie Pantsed? They're like, it's so cold in Cincinnati. No one's ever shown a butt before. Yeah, heroes aren't born. They're pantsed. In L.A., that's what you do. It's warm enough here to show off your ass and humiliate people, and so that's what he brings.

1:05:20And he was wearing, yeah, that was an awkward. I feel uncomfortable watching scenes of young people. Because you're trying to move your boner out of the way? Yeah.

1:05:31Then I wrestle with it, then things get better. And the main kid is shortless in this movie a lot. A lot. Does anybody have a really great one that they feel like, oh, I got to bring this one up here? All right. Your name. Sell it with confidence, and we'll see. All right. Here we go. Here we go. Okay. So the title would be Not Airborne. Not Airborne. Sorry, Not Air Bud. Sorry. Air Bud. You guys cheated. Shared your title. Yeah. Not Air Bud. So when he's in the hockey game, he gets knocked out. He's unconscious for like half a day. No one calls the ambulance. and then the guy gets, what's it called, chocolate stained Blaine.

1:06:08He gets knocked over into the water and he disappears and no one seems to care either. So I'm just saying, no one seems to care about other people. That is true. No one calls an ambulance and they move him too. They move him to a second location, which is fairly dangerous as well. There is a disturbing lack of empathy in this movie. There are no parental figures when he wakes up. Yeah. He has a concussion. He has brain damage. Jason's not here, so I have to say what Jason would say. The movie officially ends when he gets knocked out at the hockey rink, and the rest of the thing is a Jacob's Ladder scenario.

1:06:48It's all a dream. It's all a fantasy. It's the only way it makes sense. He died in that first hockey game. How did you find this movie? I found this movie, as many people do, on Twitter and on... Working through Seth Green's entire catalog? Yes. Can't Hardly Wait. You and I saw Can't Hardly Wait in the theater together. We sure did. I brought in half a chicken.

1:07:13What happened to the other half? What are you talking about? I can't eat an entire chicken in a movie. This is one of the movies that was very highly recommended over the years. And I've been saving it for a while for a special occasion. No, my question's about the chicken. Happy to answer any and all. what it was in New York I was hungry it was in New York and there was like a Boston market next to the theater and I was like I'm hungry New York has the best Boston market they really do it's my favorite outside of Boston no I would say better than the Boston Boston market and so I was hungry and I needed more of a meal than a snack and so I remember you were like let's get half a chicken I did not eat a chicken in that movie add half a chicken I have a clear memory of that I respected the theater and the space and can't hardly wait, all the hard people who worked on it, the crew, with everybody.

1:08:05Obviously, we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there that had a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second Opinions. Second opinions, uh-huh Amazing, give it up What's her name, sir? What's her name? What's Tim? Give it up for Tim What an honor We always say to the audience Before the show If you want to make something up In the moment, please do And that person did So that was great And great job to the audience For catching along These are five-star reviews Called from Amazon And boy, there are some good ones Okay, here we go This is from Nurse Mommy RN Uh-oh Is she an RN or is she like, Nurse Mommy, right now?

1:09:12Nurse Mommy, right now? And she writes This was taped at my grade school Oh, so long ago And I got to be an extra in it So it was a rental to reminisce She didn't even buy it You're in this movie A rental to reminisce I don't think you can be in the movie And have an opinion That's fair I think once you're in it, you're in it Fucking five stars, she gave herself Five stars I feel like she came up with the phrase A rental to reminisce And then backed into writing the review

1:09:51Also, R and N are both in reminisce She's big into R and N And in rental. I will say a lot of these reviews were written recently. That's the thing that's actually most interesting about these reviews. This one was written in 2016 in June by Man of Wood.

1:10:11Great movie. Better than the crap they made today. Five stars. The crap that they made that day? Yep. What movie did they make that day? Maybe he meant better than the crap he made today. Like the actual piece of shit that came out of his ass.

1:10:33Do not know. You need to put the shit back in. And then, this one is odd. I'll read it and we can discuss why I think it's odd. This is by Pamela S. Ryan, written in 2014. She's putting her middle initial in there. 2014, hot off, the 20-year anniversary. The title is Perfect, and the review is simply this. Wonderful movie to take my adult son back in time.

1:11:09Her five stars. I think that's the mom of the actor.

1:11:18Remember when you were in this? adult son back in time. Hi, son. Can you get a babysitter? Come on over to the house. I want to take you back in time. Because if he, like, say if he's even, if he's 20 now, if that's an adult son, then he was 10 when this movie came out. Huh? No, no, no. He would have been zero. If he was more than 20 years, he would have not been born. Oh, right, right. Okay, yeah. She makes a guy, like, in his 30s or 40s watch this movie. Pamela S. Ryan is a monster.

1:11:58I really do think that that's the kid's mom because she gets to see her now adult son be the beautiful child he once was. You know what? I think you may be right. Buckle up, people. This is a longie, but it's worth it. By Jordan Lawrence. Title, who compares this movie to Harry Potter?

1:12:25No one. No one. I just want to start off by saying that I felt compelled to write a review about this movie after reading about some guy who thought this movie was awful and lacked substance and was not creative. This person, who I can only imagine plays Dungeons and Dragons and has a collection of Beanie Babies, goes on to say, there are plenty of movies of this sort that are filled to the brim with creativity. The Harry Potter series, in case in point. That was one sentence, by the way. Really? You're comparing this movie to Harry Potter? I'd like to know what planet this guy is coming from, considering the two movies are nothing alike, not to mention the fact they were written in two different decades.

1:13:08First of all, let me say this. This movie is awesome. First of all...

1:13:15If you were around in the 90s Which apparently this guy was not No wonder you don't think this movie was any good You watch movies like Harry Potter, dude Who is he having an argument with? Some guy who collects Beanie Babies I grew up watching this movie It's funny, it's entertaining It's great to see guys like Seth Green and Jack Black Before they were somebodies Of course, it doesn't have the greatest plot in the world. It was written for teenagers in the 90s. It was totally exciting to watch growing up and brings back great memories today. Even if you didn't watch this growing up, let your kids watch it.

1:13:50They'll love it. I personally love it because it reminds me of the days I used to race around on my rollerblades. By the way, this 100 % is a suicide note. I used to race around on my rollerblades, hang out on the beaches of California, and engage in some good old-fashioned competition. I've been checking on Amazon for the last year to see when or if this movie would ever make it to DVD, and it finally has. I would pay$30 for this movie if I had to. If you want to be reminded of simpler, better days, which you'll probably never see again, with good entertainment value, watch Airborne. If all you care about are special effects, casting spells, and nerdy kids flying around on broomsticks.

1:14:39What does he have against Harry Potter? Go watch Harry Potter. And leave the good stuff for those of us who are nostalgic and like entertainment. Five motherfucking stars. Wow.

1:15:00You could call... Harry Potter deserves the title airborne more.

1:15:09They actually fly on brooms. They play Quidditch. That's an airborne sport.

1:15:20What if Harry Potter was called hockey? They just swap titles. I have to say that review turned me on Harry Potter. You see his point? I'm fucking done. Fuck that shit. Well, you'll all be pleased to know that Blake Harris has tracked down one of the lead actors of this film and we'll be conducting a very big interview with him coming up. So we'll get that on Slash Film. Can we say? We could if I remember the name of the guy. It's not Jack Black or Seth Green. Okay. So it may be the lead bully You probably could get Seth Green or Jack Black I'm sure we could They're both color names But I feel like the better Is that all it takes to make it?

1:16:05You need a color name Would you recommend our audience watching this movie? Sometimes we say you don't need to watch it Sometimes we say yeah you should definitely watch it I'll start off and say yeah I think you should definitely watch this movie I think you're insane Not for like Not like I'm saying like This is the moonlight I cannot think of a single reason For people to watch this There are so many movies In the world Knowing that I pushed Watching Moonlight off To watch this Made me feel bad Did you watch Moonlight? Not yet Because I watched this What if you died right now? Maybe I'd be a little bit happier That I saw Surf and Turf Before I went Wow they're very similar in many ways there are two guys hanging out by the ocean there are kind of vaguely homoerotic yeah, moonlight is vaguely homoerotic I'm talking about airborne yeah, it is I guess when he rubs no spoilers it's sort of it's like, hey, there's something going on with those guys I don't know if I'm reading too much into this movie, but when he rubs his fingers in the sand, I feel like something happened.

1:17:25Scott, yay or nay? I think it's well directed. I mean, the shots are really, really good. Sure. So you watch it for the directing? If you're a fan of film... Yeah. The director is a good director. The director is a good director. The actors, not to a man, certainly, are good actors. No, don't watch this. All right. Danielle? I'm going to say watch it. Nice. I'm going to say you have to really get. The two people who saw Can't Hardly Wait are highly recommending this movie. In the theater. Bring half a chicken. Settle in. Make a day of it. Get some chicken. Tune out during the dream sequence. Spread out on your couch.

1:18:11Lie back. Yeah, go into a food coma during the treatment. Lie back, watch a child sort of like turn into a man. Rub soap all over his body. Yes. No, I felt like, I feel like in order to understand the movie, in order to like see how disparate the four different movies inside the movie are, in order to really get that, I think you should watch it. And I also feel like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, watch it. What else are you doing? It is a good point. it's like you leave the movie and it's like you've watched four movies. Yeah, Moonlight you probably don't get to watch one. It's a time saver.

1:18:45Yeah, like Moonlight was like one movie, right? Moonlight's only one movie. Although it's kind of three movies. It actually is kind of three movies. It's kind of like three movies. It's kind of three movies. So it's one less movie than this one. Let's talk about what we want to talk about. Danielle, what do you want to plug? What do I want to plug? Bitch Sesh? Yes. Thank you. Great podcast. We have a podcast. We're also doing a show Wednesday the 25th at Largo. And then also just listen to Bitch Sesh on your podcast. Great. Thanks. Scott, what do you got? I co-directed with Akiva Schaffer of The Lonely Island a variety special for Netflix called Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day special.

1:19:30And that's February 7th? February 7th it comes out. and it has Maya Rudolph and Sarah Silverman and Fred Armisen and Will Forte and Andy Samberg and Eric Andre and a bunch of great people, and it's very funny. I can't wait. That sounds awesome.

1:19:49Kamal, you, at this point, to our listeners, have been to Sundance. You've been back with your movie there. How was it? Wow. No, he has not gone to Sundance by the time you were here. I just got very nervous. No, what do we have? Silicon Valley. You can watch it on iTunes or HBO Go, and it comes out. The new season comes out in April. And then, yeah, the movie The Big Sick, it'll come out at some point, so look for that. Awesome. I love it. At the point of people listening to this, you've sold it for$20 million at this point. Oh, no. What are you doing? the last movie that sold for that much was Birth of a Nation yep what's going to come out about you?

1:20:35what did you do? I'll tell you what did you do? I don't want to riff on this that could be the thing that turns this into a Birth of a Nation situation yeah, pass well a big thank you to Averill Halley who pulls all of our clips here and then puts them all together each week. She has a great show called Movie Bitches on YouTube. July Diaz up in the booth. Nate Kiley does all of her research. Marissa Zeitz, who pulls us all together. Leanna Waldron. Everybody here at Largo. Everybody here at Earwolf. Thank you all for coming. Good night.

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