In short
The hosts and guest break down the 1991 film Cool as Ice, calling it a surreal, poorly explained, music-video-heavy “choose your own adventure” that mixes suburban weirdness, racist/awkward small-town reactions, and a romance plot with a witness-protection/corrupt-cops subplot.
Guests
Brian Huskey (Children’s Hospital actor/comedian) joins co-hosts Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, and Jason Mantzoukas. Vanilla Ice appears only for the last ~15 minutes (per the intro).
Guest backgrounds
Huskey is known for Children’s Hospital; the co-hosts are regular comedy podcast performers.
Key claims
The movie’s opening credits are an overlong, low-production-value music video; the story logic is intentionally thin; the film’s style evokes Pee-wee’s Playhouse/Tim Burton; and the cinematography is unusually high-end (Janusz Kaminski) despite chaotic direction.
Notable examples
the six-minute opening music video with Naomi Campbell; the “Beetlejuice/Pee-wee” motorcycle-repair house; the classic motorcycle towing scene and awkward town stares; the Sugar Shack band interruption; the ice-in-bed wakeup; the “down by law” organizer/black-book plot confusion; and the kidnapping tied to Michael Gross’s witness-protection storyline.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOOpening Thoughts on Cool as Ice
1:06 to 1:34
Hosts share their initial reactions and observations about the film's opening.
“Over 4 million businesses have skipped the line with stamps.com.”
Opening Thoughts on Cool as Ice
2:36 to 4:49
Hosts share their initial reactions and observations about the film's opening.
“We have a very special guest here in the studio today to talk about the movie.”
Analyzing the Movie's Plot and Characters
4:49 to 7:10
Discussion centers around the film's confusing plot, character motivations, and inconsistencies.
“This movie was through the looking glass from the word go.”
Cultural Context and Character Reactions
7:10 to 9:30
Exploration of the cultural dynamics and character interactions in the film.
“But that's the thing that made no sense because the guy came out and started to say how much he would give for the bike.”
Ridiculous Plot Points and Laughable Moments
9:30 to 14:00
Hosts highlight some of the most absurd moments and plot points in 'Cool as Ice'.
“And then I think that the director said, everyone, fucking act as hard as you can.”
Discussion of Vanilla Ice's Scenes
14:00 to 18:42
Analyzing scenes where Vanilla Ice interacts with characters and the overall quality of the film.
“And this horse almost killed her like 15 minutes ago.”
Discussion of Vanilla Ice's Scenes
18:50 to 19:11
Analyzing scenes where Vanilla Ice interacts with characters and the overall quality of the film.
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Character Dynamics and Plot Confusion
20:24 to 28:03
Exploring the character relationships and confusing plot points in the movie.
“with all of her scholarship information.”
Date Montage & Romantic Parkour
28:03 to 29:19
Discussion about the film's montage depicting a date and action sequences.
“They took you to the best place to have a date.”
Character Insights & Dialogue
29:20 to 30:48
Analysis of character interactions and notable lines in the movie.
“We don't know much about him because all we know is when he says the best line in the movie, in my opinion, what's it like to have parents?”
Show all 21 chapters
Tommy's Humor & Kathy's Acting
30:49 to 31:59
Exploration of comic elements from the character Tommy and Kathy's performance.
“Well, I kept thinking during the montage thing, I was like, this is a really good actress because she is genuinely acting affectionate.”
Plot Confusion & Character Backgrounds
32:00 to 33:13
Discussion on the confusing plot points and character backstories in the film.
“Mainly because he saw him talking to the bad guys who were parked in front of his house when he walked out of her directions.”
Film's Structure & Storytelling Issues
33:14 to 34:37
Critique of the film's structure and narrative choices that leave viewers puzzled.
“And then the woman is reading a motorcycle user manual.”
Sugar Shack Scene & Character Dynamics
34:38 to 37:39
Analysis of the Sugar Shack scene and its impact on character relationships.
“Oh, we forgot about, we forgot about, we didn't talk about the Sugar Shack.”
Director's Background & Stylistic Choices
37:40 to 41:29
Discussion about the director's previous work and its influence on the film's style.
“So his attitude is, who cares about story?”
Kidnapping Plot & Lack of Tension
41:30 to 42:00
Examination of the kidnapping subplot and its shortcomings in creating tension.
“Well, remember he was eating one time, and all the food just came down his face.”
Discussion on Movie Scenes and Characters
42:00 to 42:56
Analyzing pivotal scenes and character dynamics in 'Cool as Ice'.
“Because she's totally blown off her boyfriend, Nick.”
Examining the Movie's Flaws and Styles
44:30 to 46:36
Discussing the movie's cinematography and narrative structure flaws.
“because then there's the moody sequence where he feels rejected and he does a bunch of brown bunny-esque motorcycle rides through the desert.”
Vanilla Ice's Reflections on the Film
46:36 to 48:50
Vanilla Ice shares insights and memories from filming 'Cool as Ice'.
“If he had a better script, I'd be like, oh, I'd buy this guy.”
Interview with Vanilla Ice
48:50 to 56:00
A detailed conversation with Vanilla Ice about his role in the film.
“We have questions, and there's only one man for answers.”
Reflections on Cool as Ice
56:00 to 1:06:21
Vanilla Ice discusses his thoughts and experiences around the movie Cool as Ice.
“When you released that movie, it was at that point, was there a big premiere?”
Transcript
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1:40Jason Mantzoukas:Imagine if James Dean was fresh instead of cool. It's Rebel Without a Cause with turntables and eight ball jackets. We saw cool as ice, so you know what that means. Now it's time for How Did This Get Made? We're gonna have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater. Can't you know you wonder how did this get made? Let's follow in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made? Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to a very special edition of How Did This Get Made? We have a very special episode this week, because not only are we talking about the Vanilla Ice classic, Cool as Ice, but we have an amazing guest in studio to talk about the film.
2:26Jason Mantzoukas:That's right, the one, the only Vanilla Ice, but he's not going to be here for the entire episode, just for the last 15 minutes. So, enjoy that. It's coming up. But in the meantime, please welcome my fabulous co-host, June Diane Raphael. How are you, June? Good. Hi, Paul. And Jason Mantoukas. How are you, Jason? What's happening? We have a very special guest here in the studio today to talk about the movie. You've seen him on a million different things, most notably and most recently Children's Hospital, Brian Husky. Hi, guys. Hi, Brian. Husky. Oh, hi. All right, let's get into this movie. I want to thank you for exposing me to art.
3:05You're welcome. This is a very important film.
3:08Jason Mantzoukas:I honestly, when I was watching this movie for the first couple of minutes, I was like, really? Really? Well, maybe you want to say for the first six minutes, which are the opening credits. I timed it, too. I was like, I got to see how long this was. I stopped it right at the end of the credits. I was like, oh, a six-minute credit sequence. I was cooking dinner, and so I kept on thinking. All right, we get it. We get it. You don't have to brag so much about how you cook dinner. I kept on thinking like, okay, I'm just going to do this one thing while the opening credits is on. Sure. And then they came back and they were still going.
3:41Was it Julianne Carrots? Yes, it was Julianne Carrots, Salmon.
3:45Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, but the opening is a music video. It's like a$30 music video. There's no production value there. And that's the leading point of your movie. There is like no fewer than six legitimate, terrible music videos in this movie. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's done better ones on MTV at this point, too, right? Yeah, but it was at the height of the 90s backlit, just shooting through an air vent fan that's flipping around through the lights flashing. And that one thing just had, yeah, it was just crazy. Guys, Naomi Campbell is singing backup for this. Naomi Campbell is singing backup, and she gives an opening, she's one of the opening credits.
4:26Special appearance, guys. Then she disappears. Yeah. And then she's done her job.
4:30Jason Mantzoukas:Well, I don't even understand, because that opening, they try to tie it to the movie. Like, I guess he performed at this club. Who knows? Maybe. Yeah, who knows? Maybe. Because he's leaving that club in the first scene, and then he, like, signs that autograph or the girl gives him his number. Yeah, like a sticker. But the big mystery of the movie is, like, what is his job? What is it? Like, is he a rapper? What is anything? What is anything in this movie? This movie was through the looking glass from the word go. I literally was like. G.O., you mean? Who and what is happening? Well, it was like, okay, so they busted out in some warehouse space for - Like an urban den.
5:07Which is not really, there's no audiences, mainly everyone dancing together.
5:10Jason Mantzoukas:Everyone's in the video and dancing under fire sprinklers. So it's kind of a fight club for dancing that he's part of. Got the little Blade-esque in there. And then cut to beautiful, pristine, like, Indiana countryside. Yes. They're just riding along. Land for days. I mean, as far as the eye can see. Well, I was like, they get on motorcycles, and I was like, did they just ride to Nebraska? Yeah. What? What is it? Where are they? Okay, here's honestly what I think. And why are they there? This is what I had to come up with for myself. Okay? I think that these were, that they were psyched to go on a bike ride together.
5:45Right. And get out of the city. Yeah. Oh, my God. They had to get away. So they had been riding for a long time.
5:51Jason Mantzoukas:Wait, can I tell you what my theory is? they're a touring rap group and they're moving from one city to the next and they were with no equipment we'll find out later that they don't need equipment but that's later I was like when they are fucking just riding motorcycles and they're all of a sudden in the prairies and the broad is riding her horse and he jumps his motorcycle well that was a big that was a big moment for me too Well, he personally starts racing the horse. He races the horse, and then he flirtatiously jumps the fence and makes this woman fall off the horse. Makes the horse. Maybe break her spine.
6:31Yeah, of course. It's not a big deal. Okay, I gotta say, that's the craziest way to meet a lady in a movie. Like, it wasn't like - You're like, I'll terrify her horse. Yeah, it wasn't like, oh, he hit a mud pile and it splashed on her face. It's like, she fell off a horse?
6:45Jason Mantzoukas:When that horse rears its body and head - She was bucked off. It's like a scary moment. Yeah, totally. And the fact that a motorcycle came like inches away from her face over his head, he's like, what's up? And then she's like, get away from me. And he's like, yep, yep. She likes me. Oh, shit. No. You almost killed this person. I'm a very stupid person. Check that out. Guys, this. Okay. Can anybody tell me why they just set up shop at that weird Beetlejuice house? Okay, without. The Pee Wee's Playhouse. Why is that? Wait. I'm not kidding, guys. Why? Were they going to that house? No. No. No. No.
7:26No. The bike broke down. But that's the thing that made no sense because the guy came out and started to say how much he would give for the bike. Yes. For Vanilla Ice's bike. Yeah. For Vanilla Ice's bike. So I was like, okay, so maybe they just decided to take out the pages that talked about the sale of the bike. And now they're here. Well, because the guy was like, oh, you're late. I thought you were coming before. Okay. Yeah. The guy was acting like he was expecting them. Right.
7:46Jason Mantzoukas:Well, that guy was crazy. Oh. I don't think so. No. He was afraid. He did totally normal. What I thought was he was a free spirit because his house was a wonderland of whimsy. It was so crazy. You guys, those people had no children. No. Like, what the fuck? They were motorcycle repair people, apparently. Genius. Barely. They were like, they lived in a peewee playhouse house. Yes. With, like, multiple globes on the front lawn. The house had a big map on the side of it. Like, I mean, it was insane. And he comes out in, like, a railroad conductor's hat. And he's like, oh, but he's talking like that, too.
8:19Jason Mantzoukas:I molest children. Yeah. And he's like a cartoon character. If you reveal that this character had killed people, like, you'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah, totally. That's the weird. But they're driving through, like, this Pleasantville of this. And everyone is staring at the, I mean, people on motorcycles. Yeah, what am I looking at? Well, no, the reason why they were staring, you guys, is because. Don't go there. Wait a minute. One of the motorcycles had broken down. And so they were towing another one by a rope. You're talking about the classic towing scene. Guys, I think what was really happening is people were like, there are black people in our white town.
8:55Well, absolutely.
8:55Jason Mantzoukas:But that is not a premise of the movie. I agree. I thought that too. But the leader, Vanilla Ice, is white. And that never is brought up again. The black-white issue is almost so... Because the black people never leave that one little area. So later in the movie, when the old woman is like, my grandson is blah, blah, blah. It's not his grandparents. No, she's covering for him. She is covering. That's what I thought. But then later, when she said it, I was like, maybe I just missed something. I think what must have happened is that the bike broke down. Yeah. They found a phone. They broke down the middle of the street.
9:29They broke down the middle of the street. All the traffic couldn't cross the double yellow line. And then I think that the director said, everyone, fucking act as hard as you can. If you're an extra, act the fucking shit out of this scene.
9:42Jason Mantzoukas:The camera pans faces and everyone's wide-eyed and mouth agape. It is basically, I was thinking about, what is so familiar? I was like, this is like every actor in the Parents Just Don't Understand video. That's what they look like. Their hair is in rollers. And their face is like, what? They're acting in a silent movie. There is one really racist reaction shot when there's an older guy who's waiting behind them and he doesn't understand what the holdup is. And then he looks out and sees that it's a bunch of black kids. And he reacts like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And jumps back in the car. Yeah, he literally pulls his hat over his face.
10:17Jason Mantzoukas:He's like, I'm going to hide under my hat. So basically Vanilla Ice and his band of hip-hop performers? Vaudevillians? Who knows? They're at that house, and they instantly... They break down, and they have to stay in this town. That's all I wanted to say. They break down, and the people, the old couple who live in the magical, weird house, are like, we can fix this bike. And they're like, okay, how long is it going to take? They're like, a day. And so then there's a music montage where one dude makes a pickle sandwich. Oh, no, no. A pickle, peanut butter, sardine, and pineapple, and mustard. With mustard.
10:51Jason Mantzoukas:That's the zinger. And he eats it. He's like, this is good. The girl eats blue hard-boiled eggs. And uses gigantic salt shakers, which looks, it's kind of a visual joke. Yes. Where it looks big in the foreground, and she picks them up, and it's really actually big. And no salt came out of it. No. No. Yeah, it was good. The weird thing about the movie, too, is the way that there were no establishing shots of these rooms and stuff. So you're just cutting from the outside into these tight close-ups. And it's like, for a long time, it's like, where are we? What room are we in? There's writing all over the walls.
11:28It's craziness. Are we in a different house now? Yeah, there's that cello chair or something that I kept seeing. It's like, there's an upright bass note. That's a chair. Okay, I remember that.
11:37Jason Mantzoukas:Well, you immediately knock down your premise. basically it's like okay so what would happen if these you know quote unquote like black you know hip hop people come to your town and it's like a white town but then they go to the craziest person in town's house and it's like well that wait let's do that now because it's like there's no I feel like the writing process on this was well we want to get here like we want him to meet her and we want this to happen so let's just put them here which is down the street from there like there's no logic to it it's all about just sort of like, well, we need this scene.
12:10So make this scene sort of lead up to that scene. Don't explain it.
12:12Jason Mantzoukas:People say it is a remake of Rebel Without a Cause. I'm not so familiar with Rebel Without a Cause, but is there a Pee-wee's Playhouse house in there? Does he stay with a bunch of crazies? Yeah, it's a shot-for-shot remake. It's pretty amazing. It's just a fashion update. His outfits are unbelievable. Here's what I thought. If you paid attention, if you really paid attention to his license plate. Yes. That was, it said state of mind on there. Remember that? State of mind. So you think this whole movie takes place in a dream state? I think that he fucking took a ton of drugs and he went to sleep and this is the madhouse that's going on in his brain.
12:53Jason Mantzoukas:I do want to know who, who, the, the, the idea about who is behind this because it really is in the writing of this. It is, it is crazy. He wrote, he worked on a bunch of like, he's a writer. I think if you put all of his dialogue together in the movie, it would be like one page. Yes. Like he didn't really have much to say. Yeah. Yeah. Why was... Okay. So wait, we're getting way off track because... Yeah, we need to focus. So they're moving to the Smurf house or whatever the fuck they're living in, right? And he's now falling in love with the girl on the horse who inexplicably lives across the street from the crazy house that they're not staying in.
13:28Bobo Ione Skye. She starts, yes, he starts courting her, but then she's on TV. Michael Gross, the TV's family, Family Ties Dad is her dad. She's on TV for no reason. Well, she's on TV. She's profiled on TV for no reason.
13:43Jason Mantzoukas:An honor student who likes to ride horses. Who cares? Why is that? That is not newsworthy. It's not even local news. It's not local news. That's it, exactly, because the gangsters see it wherever they are. So this is like a huge story about a girl and her horse that has no point to it. She didn't do anything on the horse. She's not a champion. And this horse almost killed her like 15 minutes ago. I do have the scene where Vanilla Ice comes to meet Bobo Ioni Skye and kind of flirt with her again. Wait, why are we calling her Bobo Ioni Skye? Did you just call her that? Because she looks like Ioni Skye.
14:15Oh, I've never heard that.
14:17Jason Mantzoukas:I like Bobo. So basically, this girl was flipped off her horse and then Vanilla Ice runs away on his motorcycle. And then he sees her at his house and he's going to go back and approach her. and she's like kind of into him. Yeah. For no reason. So here's the scene. You can hear it a little bit. What the hell is that? Don't ask me. That's her bizarre boyfriend. I hope he's supposed to have lying. How you doing? Fine.
14:44And the horse? And the horse? Since when do you care? Wait a minute. You two know each other. No. Oh, yeah. Oh, which is it? Kathy? Kathy. Mm-hmm. I just want to say this scene does not take place in a music club. We're wasting this time. This is just the sunshine. Oh, no, you're not wasting my time. I'm just cooling. This is outside. Yeah. Ben, you're wasting our time. Oh, she just wasted. All right, I get it. Check this, though. If you need me, I'll be right over there. She won't. Yeah, we'll see about that. Oh, yeah, Kat. Words of wisdom. Drop that zero and get with the hero. Whee! Yeah! I wrote that down because I was like, Oh, I gotta use that.
15:29So good. And she came at that moment. She liked it. I'm glad you mentioned that because the music is... Always present. The music, for every moment, it tells you how to feel about the character. Like, you know, they have the crazy music for the crazy people. And then the father, they have, like, all this domestic music and, like, tranquil music. And he's always clubbed. But they'll, like, have a scene where they cut to someone else for, like, a second, like, walking across the street. is like, and then we'll go back.
15:58Jason Mantzoukas:There is, it's like, she has elements of like Tree of Life and then there's like, what am I, wow, now I'm watching this. Okay, yeah. I thought the exact same thing. This is just like Tree of Life. And what about, did Terrence Malick make this movie? What was the, what was the like, Requiem for a Dream freak out on drugs scene where they show the house for the first time and then right before they watched the show. Oh yeah, they just show the family like reading the paper. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I think what they were What I was trying to do was to say, like, this is a girl who really needs to, like, totally go nuts.
16:32And this is sort of the height of the routine of domesticity. I really felt like.
16:37Jason Mantzoukas:Wow, look at that. That's interesting. June did write her term paper on Cooler Black. I thought it was cool just to reference Requiem for a Dream. I really felt like in this movie, and it's interesting that I said Beetlejuice and you said Pee-wee's Playhouse. I felt like this movie was a Tim Burton ripoff and that the people were trying to ape Tim Burton's stylistic choices to make it, because even like the suburban landscape is very Edward Scissorhands, the house is very Beetlejuice and very Pee Wee's Playhouse. There is tons of Tim Burton... I felt like that's how they sold it. Do you want to hear something pretty amazing?
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17:08Jason Mantzoukas:Oh boy. Do you want to know who the cinematographer of this movie is? Janusz Kaminski, who is Steven Spielberg's DP. So he has done War Horse, Funny People, Indiana Jones, all of them. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Munich. This is his first foray. So the movie does look beautiful. It actually does look beautiful, but it is directed by a crazy person. But Janusz Kaminski, the guy that did Saving Private Ryan, Armageddon, Amistad, Jerry Maguire, Little Giants. No, Schindler's List. I mean, he's done. Is there a moment where he's on set of Schindler's List with Spielberg and he's like, I'm assuming he has an accent because his name is Janusz Kowalski.
17:51He's like, well, we can do this one shot that I did on Cool and Ice. We can steal that shot and we can do it here in this movie. I said it, Vanilla. Yes. This needs to be the shot. We start on Vanilla Ice, but in this case it's Schindler and we move over here. Are they going to be dancing as he shoots them down? Because that's how that original scene was.
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20:29Jason Mantzoukas:with all of her scholarship information. Which I also like that they do this twice. They show you afterwards that this happened, but there's no simple shot of him reaching in the bag and getting something. It's just like, I got this thing. Now I'll explain why I have this thing. She said somebody took my black book. They're not even close. They say organizer like 50 million times in this movie. They're not even close enough for that to happen. There could be no sleight of hand. I assumed it fell off the horse. Am I wrong? I thought it was in her bag. I'm confused now. She was riding the horse with a purse?
21:03I don't know. She always has her organizer with her. That's true. She keeps it in her purse. Guys, oh my god. There is so much more of this movie we need to talk about.
21:11Jason Mantzoukas:So basically, you have this courtship, which is not even a courtship because she's kind of into him. She wakes up and he's in her bed feeding her ice? Yeah. Wait. I like that scene. I like that scene. Guys, she does not know his name. She wakes up. He is in her bed jamming ice in her goddamn mouth. like fucking Spike Lee and do the right thing. That's how she wakes up. That's what it feels like, too. It has a lot of do the right thing. Dude, that was crazy. That was the craziest shit I'd ever seen. Well, it is like the courtship thing. She goes, like at first, that guy, Nick, everybody calls Dick.
21:45Yeah. Totally fine. There's no indication that he's an asshole. No. He's just a preppy or whatever. Yeah, he's just kind of like, and he just says like, you know, when you're going away to school, I don't want us to, you know, break up. And then, as soon as he shows up, he's like the biggest fucking piece. Just the worst asshole.
22:02Jason Mantzoukas:And one of the reasons why he's a terrible asshole is that he's never taken the girl's brother in a joyride in his fancy car. Yeah. That's why he's a bad dude. That's so weird too, because at first you think like... Any underage drinks. But at first you think he's like a rich asshole. And then like a scene later, it's like, oh no, he's a country hick. Yeah. Like outside the bar with all these guys. It's so sweet. Yeah, he's like wearing flipped up collar shirts and then he's like, I'm gonna break your bike, man. there's so much here and the thing that's the most confounding to me is Michael Gross you know Alex B.
22:35Jason Mantzoukas:Keaton's dad for Family Ties oh my god is in the witness we haven't even established this storyline but it is huge and they do not establish what it is until I think it was like 54 minutes in I wrote down tell us the truth you keep mentioning the truth and so they we know there's trouble because the bad guys have seen the guys on TV They show up. So basically that news story activated these bad guys. These bad guys. Who come and park outside of the house. Yes, yes. Yes, I wrote that down too. It's like they come in the daytime, park right in front of the house, and they're like, come on, we'll come back when it's dark.
23:12You've been there all day. I've been there all day. Sitting on the roof of the, sitting on the hood of the car. So what's the game plan? Outside the car.
23:20Jason Mantzoukas:Because the game plan essentially was just to walk up, knock on the door, and say, hey, we're here. Like that was the thing. You know what? We're going to give you a day. We'll be back later. Back off, back off. And then it's not a day. We still have not explained it. Michael Gross, TV's family ties father, is in the witness protection program because he turned state's evidence against dirty cops. Yeah, kind of. But he said, all he did was say, I used to work with some bad cops, and I wasn't going to be a bad cop. So they put me in the witness protection program. No, no, internal affairs. So when internal affairs asked me about it, I told.
23:56So was he a cop? He was a cop. He was a good cop. Which, by the way, I do not believe for an instant. He does not think he's a cop at all.
24:04Jason Mantzoukas:By the way, Michael, but he always creeps me out when he doesn't have the family ties beard. I don't like him. Yeah, I don't like him. Wasn't he like, without the beard, wasn't he like a molester? Lifetime of it. So I don't even understand. So he put these guys away? I don't know. But it seemed that they wanted money from him. Well, that's the other thing. That's what I couldn't track, is why they thought he had$500 ,000. He just said, and now they want some money that they think I owe them. Yeah. So it's sort of like, are they just like, you know what? On principle, give us$500 ,000. And were those guys the cops that he put in jail?
24:36They were free now. Yes.
24:38Jason Mantzoukas:It did feel like a child wrote it. 20 years ago. Like a child. I feel like a child was like, and then it's like Axe Cop. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I love that book. Axe Cop is amazing. And then the bad guys come because he was bad. And they're riding dinosaurs. Yeah, yeah. But it does, it feels that way also for the directing, because it's like, all right, park the car here. Yeah. That's okay. It won't be, you can't see it on camera. Yeah, but we're just going to pan over. It's like, I don't, that's okay. I'm tired. I don't want to walk over there across this street. And here's my question. So Jack McGee and the other guy, the cops, the bad cops, they think that Michael Gross has cash in the house?
25:16Jason Mantzoukas:$500 ,000 of cash. Maybe I'm assuming, and we shouldn't even poke too hard at this because it's a fucking rabbit hole of insanity, but maybe they think that he profited by selling them out and then he took their dirty cop money. I don't think that was ever a consideration by anyone in making this film. I think they're just like, okay, okay. My favorite scene was when the cops come to the door, the bad cops come to the door, they knock on the door. He opens up and like, hey, whatever his name is. Like, how you doing, Steve? And he's like, Jimmy. Jimmy. He's like, I'm not Jimmy. I'm Oliver Gordon.
25:46Jason Mantzoukas:But he's so nervous when he's saying. But also, why are you lying? Of course they know who you are. And why did he go on national television? That's what I would love to say. That's history of violence, too. In history of violence, I'm like, why does Viggo Mortensen get on TV? But I mean, here, Viggo Mortensen got on TV. Oh, well, now that I'm thinking about it, I do think he looked a little shifty during that interview with the daughter. He did. He's like, it's about her. It's about her. But just don't do the interview then. Again, why was it a national news item? That's the bigger question. They said they had 24 hours to get the money.
26:25They got two days and then they were given an extra day. Well, the time of this movie, it's also like these kids who have been sitting in this mechanics playhouse. Did they have an extra set of clothes? I mean, they were there. They were also cutting.
26:39Jason Mantzoukas:Vanilla Ice brought a lot of hats. He did a lot of hats. They also were cutting, for some reason, between day and night, like, constantly. Yes. Like, it would be, like, the middle of the day, and they'd be like, well, she's at the sugar shack. And then they'd cut to the sugar shack, and there's a rock band on it. I'm like, is it, like, 5 o 'clock in the afternoon, and it's a rock? What is the time frame? They are in Alaska. I could not figure out what was happening time-wise. Oh, my. I also got pulled in by the jacket that Vanilla Ice was wearing. Oh, of course. Yeah. He has two jackets. One's an orange one.
27:10Jason Mantzoukas:And then there was another one, which was just words. Down by law. Down by law. Sex. Sex. I saw that. I actually think Stussy ponied in a lot of money for this. Because there's always a prominent Stussy. Yes. Right on his hat or on his shirt. I mean, they must have thought, like, this movie is. Wow. I mean, we're hoping that this is going to be a huge hit. One of the craziest sequences is when Vanilla Ice and Bobo and Skye go out. Finally, he gives her back her organizer. Oh, romantic montage? Oh, yeah. He gives her back the organizer, which is like, also, it was such a weird, like, why wouldn't he have just given it to her immediately?
27:46Yeah. Like, when she kept on saying, like, I'm not going to go out with you and I'm not interested unless I get my organizer. Because Ice knows. He knew how to play it? He knew. He could tell. He's playing it like a hero. Yeah. Not a zero. Finally, they go out together and have a day date together.
28:03Jason Mantzoukas:They have a date montage. They took you to the best place to have a date. This is a construction site. Yes, a construction site. That, to me, is so 80s, though. It's so perfectly like it's where they're building the new homes. That's where they're going to go and have a day. But once they bond, then they go to the desert. Yep. And then they go to a field with a horse. Yep. And then they go back to the construction site. One of the best moments, though, is watching Vanilla Ice try to get on that horse. Oh. His first attempt, he just simply throws his whole body across the horse. Was that done for comedy or do you think that was real?
28:39I think that was done for comedy. Yeah. I think that was done for comedy. But to let you know, that took eight hours to shoot that because he's so not funny. It was the best thing I've ever seen.
28:49Jason Mantzoukas:The best thing I've ever saw was the romantic parkour around the construction. This is basically like a four minute montage of them playing peekaboo with the camera while music's playing. There's no sound. And they're just jumping over. Swinging. This whole thing felt like one half romantic falling in love montage and one half training montage in a sports movie. You know what I mean? Because his shirt comes off. He's sweating. They're riding in the desert. I'm like, is this like an intensity? The intensity of physical exertion? or are they falling in love? I don't understand. Also, is he in high school?
29:28Can we get an age? We don't know much about him
29:32Jason Mantzoukas:because all we know is when he says the best line in the movie, in my opinion, what's it like to have parents? Oh my God, I wrote that down too. Yeah, yeah. And brothers and stuff. And brothers and stuff. But then he's shifty, then he's not going to give it up because what is it? If you're not true to yourself, you're not true to anyone. Or be true. And then she goes, and then she goes, it's good. And he's like, don't you want to ask me anything? And she's like, no, I think I know everything. And then cut to her going, so where are you from? And I was like, what? What is going on? This all happens.
30:04This whole sequence of their day of like falling in love is so crazy and their conversation is insane. Their physicality is insane. There is like nothing. She is basically, oh, and that's the scene that starts with her waking up with him in her bed. Right. And she's like, shh, don't want to wake up my parents. and then they proceed to have a full, loud conversation in the house. And then the brother walks in on them. She almost starts to take her clothes off. And then the little brother's like, when you're done having the sex. When you're done making sex. Tommy says the funniest stuff in the movie.
30:41For me, Tommy is an imp. He's a little precocious.
30:44Jason Mantzoukas:Just so you guys know, the woman who played Kathy is still working up until this day. She is doing a lot of movies. She's been in over 30 different movies. I found her very compelling. I thought she was charming. Well, I kept thinking during the montage thing, I was like, this is a really good actress because she is genuinely acting affectionate. And she's probably like, I want to burn my hands after touching him. This is disgusting. This guy's a creep. The best moment that I thought she had was, you know, later on they get into a fight because her family thinks that he's one of the bad guys, which he isn't.
31:21but they tell her not to see him again. She comes back into her bedroom. She's given Ice a ring.
31:26Jason Mantzoukas:Yeah. Oh, yeah. After their first date, a ring. A ring to where? He snuck back into the bedroom and thrown that ring into a fishbowl. Yeah. She walks back. This was an amazing piece of acting. This was great. When she comes right in. She walks into the bedroom, opens the door, right over to the fishbowl. Yeah, yeah. It's just like, I got to relax. I don't need to look at my fishbowl. What a day. Let's see what's doing with these guys. Also, we are not even talking about the fact that Alex B. Keaton's dad, Michael Gross, assumes that and through a bunch of weird really bad coincidences that Vanilla Ice is a part of the people that are supposed to be terrorizing him and his family.
32:00Mainly because he saw him talking to the bad guys who were parked in front of his house when he walked out of her directions. This is a small town. Don't you think the talk on the block would be like, oh yeah, there's a whole gang of cyclists in that house over there and they've been there for three days and they're dancing outside. Michael Gross, okay, here's the thing. Michael Gross is in the witness protection program. The people that would want to kill him are now here. He is not nearly scared enough.
32:25Jason Mantzoukas:He doesn't call the cops. He doesn't call the cops. He doesn't try and find money. He doesn't do anything. That's the other thing. He doesn't try. He doesn't even try to find that money. Then his kid is kidnapped. His child is abducted. That's where it goes. I think they were really trying to make it seem like he was a bad guy. They were keeping it murky for a long time. That's interesting, Brian. Because if you notice, if you listen to the music, at a certain point, I stopped watching. I would just listen to the music. Are you the composer? Yes. Very proud of most of the work I did. All on a Casio.
33:01And so they were playing this kind of scary, menacing music for when they would show him, like when he'd look out the window and stuff. That's interesting. But then, of course, the kid gets to know. what's it like having parents and a brother and all that stuff
33:16Jason Mantzoukas:I mean that is a line from the movie are we to believe that he just was existed as Vanilla Ice ageless and that's him immaculate conception of Vanilla Ice he's born of ice he's come out of nowhere it's just him and his pack of hip hop orphans like I was I really I found this movie inexplicable in it's format like all it would have taken was one line of explanation like I'm glad we're out of that city for the day to see your aunt. Uh-oh, your bike is broken. Oh, we gotta get to our next show. We don't know where they're going. Let's call a motorcycle repair shop. Oh, it's this weird place. Versus, well, let's stop here.
33:57What a weird house. We fix motorcycles. What? And then the woman is reading a motorcycle user manual. I was like, you've had to fucking be kidding me. It really was like, one line would set up so many things. and they just were like, no, no. A lot of times. We'll shoot it and then they'll figure it out maybe and then we'll do a twist so they'll be even more confused. A lot of times on this show we wind up talking about overly expositional moments or moments, times when people are explaining too much in movies. But not a severe detriment.
34:29Jason Mantzoukas:This movie is crazy. You are left to make your own connections. It is a choose your own adventure. Yes. And at one point, somebody says about the gang of cyclists, like, they seem like aliens. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, now we're on to something. Oh, I like that. Maybe they were aliens. Yep. Earth Girls are easy. We need to get into this. Yeah, go ahead. No, go ahead. I loved the scene. Okay, when she's forbidden from, okay. Oh, we forgot about, we forgot about, we didn't talk about the Sugar Shack. Oh, Sugar Shack. The horrible band. Oh, Sugar Shack. And then Vanilla Ice. Yes, this is, I thought you might want to talk about this.
35:05It's okay. So let me just set it up. So Vanilla Ice is looking for Kat, and they're like, she's at the Sugar Shack. It's like the teen, it's like the Peach Pit or the teen rock and roll hangout. And there's a shitty band there, and Vanilla Ice and his boys come and roll up on their motorcycles and arrive, and then go ahead for Husky. Yeah, and then they're like, oh, yo, this is whack. I'm going to get on the turntable. I'm going to get on the mic. Good news, there are turntables. Yeah, so they go over, they unplug the band, and the place is stocked with nerves. nerds. They're all nerds. And you hear all this under dialogue like, what's going on?
35:40Oh my gosh. I heard one guy go, oh my gosh, I'm scared.
35:46Jason Mantzoukas:And then he launches it. And they're not even nerds. They're like tape on the glasses. Yeah, sweaters. And they're making a big deal. He's having alcohol. Give me a Coke. But then he starts to do a sexy rap. What was the theme of it? is something about I'm as good as it gets or something. Yeah, that's it. Sounds about right. Yeah. And then she comes out there and she's instantaneously a slut. Yeah. Like she is just. Yeah, she is a giant slut in front of her boyfriend. She leaves her boyfriend. Oh my God. And then he's like. He's on top of her on the ground. Yeah. He gets her. He like mounts her on the ground and she is smiling.
36:26Smiling. She loves it.
36:28Jason Mantzoukas:She's breaking her routine. Go on YouTube. Look at that scene because it's a lot of good. The dancing is crazy. Yeah, yeah. I got to say Yeah, he's a good dancer. He's a good dancer. He's a good dancer. But one of the things I wrote, I was like, people who got hired for this movie had to learn a ton of choreography. Yeah, yeah. A lot. I also just feel, though, because there's several points where in minor characters dance, I feel like they just, every scene, they were like, okay, you guys, this is for B-Roll. Now just, we shot that out. Now just start dancing. Just start dancing. Just start dancing.
36:55Everyone. Including the old couple from the motorcycle shop. Everyone was dancing.
36:59Jason Mantzoukas:I am so sorry to interrupt for one second. How dare you. How dare you. I just looked at the director. I was like, oh, I wonder what this director directed. He is directed. This is pretty amazing. Well, how did he get the job? I don't know. Maybe it was the ten Playboy video centerfolds that he did. Oh, really? Wow. That's awesome. Playboy Farmer's Daughters. Playboy Calendar. Playboy Playmate of the Year. Playboy Wet and Wild. Dutch Twins. Dutch Twins? The 80s. The 90s. Exposure. And then it goes cool as ice. And then it goes back to a handful more Playboy video center folks. And then Inspector Gadget.
37:38Oh, my God. With Matthew Roderick. So that explains. So his attitude is, who cares about story? Let's get to the nudity. Who cares about the story? Let's get to vanilla dancing or rapping.
37:49Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, it was just like, keep it colorful. Keep it moving. Here's a real question. Wow, that's amazing that he directed so many Playboy's films. It's all been building up to this. Later on in the movie, after Timmy or Tommy. Tommy. Tommy, I'm so sorry. Tommy gets kidnapped. They don't know where he is, but Tommy's left a voicemail message. No, not a voicemail. No, no. It's just an audio cassette. I'm so sorry. It's an audio cassette. Oh, and the bad guys leave the tape in an envelope on the front step. Unmarked. Unmarked. And then when Vanilla Ice happens to go there to, like, apologize, he picks it up and he's like, oh, yeah, this is for you.
38:26Jason Mantzoukas:And again, further implicating him to be a bad guy. The bad guys also show up at the house when they think nobody's going to be there, and the kid is there, and they're like, why aren't you a Little League? And it's like, why would you know he's supposed to be a Little League? You're just dumb cops. You're dumb guys who've been parked outside. What? And I thought they just dragged him to another room. They didn't show him being dragged outside, putting in the car. They were dragging him through the house. So the whole time that they came home, had the conversation, they were focusing on Vanilla Ice and the girl.
38:59I was like, the kid is in the other. They're fucking, what are you doing? I was like, okay, now we're going to focus on the love story. And don't worry about that. Well, the crazy thing, too, is when, so I don't remember how, but Vanilla, but I think Bobo, Ione Skye, goes to meet the gang at the mechanics and has the tape. And they listen to it. And they hear something. And they're on the tape. They're like, oh, we know where he is, which is at the construction. No, Vanilla Ice plays it back over and over and over again. What's that sound? What is he hearing? What's that sound? The kong-klang, kong-klang.
39:30If you paid attention to the cinematographer's choice, when they pull up on the motorcycle and that machine is crushing the ground. Janusz knew how to do this. He did this in Raider. I missed that, you guys. I missed that. In this scene, we are showing these machines. Because your bullshit script is not establishing this later, so I have to do that.
39:48Jason Mantzoukas:But I feel like also, that was right out of Sneakers. Remember that movie, Sneakers? I know what it is. But they have that same thing. It's like, Vanilla Ice has proven that he's not on the level of discerning that. He's not a detective. He's not shown any skill in that area. Although he might be a detective. He might be. We know nothing. I would love it. If three quarters of the way through this movie, he's like, well, you know, my detective agency has been very successful. I mean, I had to get away from my detective work in the city. that's moving my bros around here. Well, the crazy thing, too, is when they roll up to the construction site, they're all on their bikes, and they just stare at it.
40:25And she looks at it. Her little brother's been gone for a little while. She takes a very quick look at it. A very cursory look around. And then says, just forget it. Let's go. She seems so uninterested in her brother's abduction. She is just so in her own head about being unable to be with Vanilla Ice. She does not give a shit. She wants to get fucked. Well, she's never seen anybody who has a jacket that says down by law.
40:55Jason Mantzoukas:Or a waffle pattern back haircut. This haircut, one side of it was a waffle pattern. I just want to reiterate that she woke up the second day after meeting him with him in her bed, shoving ice in her mouth. And in my bed. Cool as ice, man. Wearing a leather jacket and shorts. He's the only rapper. She's the only rapper that I've seen is comfortable in shorts. I've never seen that. So basically, they run their motorcycles through a wall. Right. About a two-second fight scene with these bad guys. The bad guys get to do a little bit of bad improv. The taller bad guy is so bad. He'd be like, you know what?
41:33We're going to hurt you.
41:35Jason Mantzoukas:Like, what was improv like? Well, remember he was eating one time, and all the food just came down his face. Like, what is going on? Are you having a stroke? I loved the scene. Okay, so when the parents have forbidden her from seeing Vanilla Ice anymore because they think he's part of the corrupt cop storyline, sort of like, he's bad news, he's out to get us, don't be with him anymore. She gets in the car with her friends and they're telling her, this is an amazing scene. Because she's totally blown off her boyfriend, Nick. Vanilla Ice has beaten him up. Yeah, everybody calls him Dick. Everybody calls him Dick.
42:09Like, Vanilla's just beating him up, and all the girls are like, I mean, there is no way that Nick is ever going to take you back. I mean, you totally humiliated him. And then somebody was like, I mean, maybe if you beg him, maybe if you beg him, Nick will take you back. And then it's like, no way. Not after what she did. I mean, what are you even going to do? It's the best fucking scene in the movie. But who is she thinking about while they're talking? Fucking VI. She's got a vaginal infection, and she wants it to be VI. Holy shit, you guys.
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43:57Jason Mantzoukas:They, they saved the day. They get the kids. Now Vanilla Ice can go off with the girl. So where does he take her? back to that fucking club from the seven minute opening to perform another dance number in a great suit that kind of switches every time he dances, which is awesome. She looked great in that scene. She looked great. It's gorgeous. Wonderful. But they just go back to that club, so it seems like they were just going out for a joyride. I guess they perform at this warehouse every night? Well, that's where it's, when it went back to that, I was like, is this a dreamscape? Like, I don't know.
44:27Why are we back in this inter-spectum? I also was like, because then there's the moody sequence where he feels rejected and he does a bunch of brown bunny-esque motorcycle rides through the desert. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, what desert are they near? No, I know. Also, the most unattractive. That was the desert they fell in love in.
44:44Jason Mantzoukas:What desert is this? But also, the most unattractive shots of desert, too. Oh, yeah. This is not pretty. This is like when you're just driving your car and like, oh, these are mountains. Yeah, yeah. And then there's shit. It's like behind a mountain. And then there's shit with just like him sitting on his bike, him with his shirt off legging on his bike. There's just, it's like such weird, It's in a world where time does not exist as we understand it. The idea that you're telling me that he shot centerfold, playboy models, that makes so much sense for the gaze of this film. His attention span is in snippets of idealistic moments that you would want to get your boner.
45:21Jason Mantzoukas:I remember watching those videos of centerfolds when you were a kid. It's like, I like to run and bike. You're just seeing these little Dutch angle shots of people walking through a barn. Naked people. He's probably like editing it. He's like, my dick's not getting hard. I don't know what the hell it is. Let's try another cut. Let's try another one. Oh, my God. But I don't know why they hired this guy. Everything about this movie is fucking nuts. At the end of the movie, when Michael Gross shakes his hand and is like, thank you. Thank you. And then Vanilla Ice, it's the middle of the night, puts sunglasses on.
45:53Yes. Like really dark ones. And the parents go up to their daughter and are like, don't be out too late. And they're basically like, go fuck him. You go fuck him. He earned it. He earned it. You go fuck him. Get that icicle in you.
46:09Jason Mantzoukas:What a movie. What a movie. Let him melt in your body. Normally in this part of the show, we'd always read a second opinion. There are no second opinions on this movie. No. No one genuinely. I mean, there's a lot of funny five-star reviews of this, but it is all written in joke. There is no one that really likes this movie. He's not terrible. No. I actually found him to be. I thought he was very compelling. He's compelling. He's got great bone structure. Yeah. He's pleasant on the eyes. If he had a better script, I'd be like, oh, I'd buy this guy. Yeah. You know, he's in that time and whatever.
46:46And there was something sweet about him, too.
46:48Jason Mantzoukas:You felt like, oh, this guy, he wants to flirt with this girl. He kind of likes this girl. It was frustrating because, in a way, I would have been on board for him and her and their relationship if it was just better told. Not a hallucinatory trip. Not as if it was like... Tree of Life meets anime. It's like, what am I watching? It's like, what if it happened on this planet? And I think it's almost like, I wonder if they wrote the dialogue thinking it's like, oh, he won't be able to say more than like two lines at a time, so just keep it really short. But like, I was like, he's not saying anything.
47:16He's just saying like...
47:18Jason Mantzoukas:And he's delivering jokes. But the one thing that's kind of weird too is when they meet all the crazy white people in the town, like they always are, they're laughing a lot like, ha ha, yeah, dummies. which is a weird also direction like they're not playing it really I don't know. It's also kind of weird that those mechanics like when the police arrive and question them about ICE they lie for him it's like they don't know this man and he's being accused of kidnapping a small town. You also forget that they invited them to stay at their house for two days while they fixed their bike after thinking they were going to buy it.
47:49Seriously I know we've said this before something's wrong with those people. Something is wrong with these people. I would like to revisit them in a second movie. Oh my god. Can I say one more thing? I think that house was some weird house that actually exists in that neighborhood. I wouldn't be surprised. They're like, you know what? No, it's too art directed. Yeah, they probably dress it up. Well, it is, but I think it had some weird elements.
48:16Jason Mantzoukas:Because it doesn't fit with the plot of the movie. I mean, why not go to a gas station? I mean, just because you want to have a random dance scene. No, I totally agree. I think they were scouting around there. And they found it, and they were like, you know what? No. Yes. Yes, I do. I think the house had some, like, designery elements, and then they just... Oh, that's fascinating. Because the other thing, like you said, there's no shot that connects those two houses. No. He just walks out a frame and then walks in. Well, he's always like, I'm across the street. Yeah. Or whatever, but you never see those two houses.
48:46Jason Mantzoukas:Yeah, across the street. So as you can tell, a crazy, crazy movie. We have questions, and there's only one man for answers. That's right. the one, the only Vanilla Ice, who he caught on a promotional tour for his new DIY network show, Vanilla Ice Project Season 2, and Ice My House. He's going to answer all of our questions, and it really seems like, from talking to Vanilla, that he has accepted how this movie sits in history, and not only accepted it, kind of embrace it. Take a listen. Hey everybody, we are here, actually, now we have a very special guest in our studio, Vanilla Ice. Hey, hey. Now, we all just watched Cool as Ice.
49:26Jason Mantzoukas:Weird. Yes. First of all, I will say I was blown away by this movie because it's a crazy movie. You're really good in it, and we all agreed on that. Now, talk to me about this movie because we have questions, too. Now, it's a little bit of time has passed since you've done it. What was it like working on that movie? Well, you know, it was amazing. Because, you know, you think about it. They let me be myself on some of these lines. Right. And to see that some of these lines have, like, stood the test of time. What it was, 18 years ago. Zero to hero. See? Drop that zero and get with the hero. It's like, what?
50:09People still remember that? I'm like, how do you remember that? That's crazy. But, you know, it's one of those cult classics.
50:15Jason Mantzoukas:Yeah, it really is. I mean, now, like, I imagine at this point when they were coming to you, they wanted you, obviously, to be in a movie. Did they have a lot of scripts? Well, yeah. Was this at, like, the height of your fame, like, that this came about? Yeah. You know? Yeah. They were capitalizing on the moment. Yeah. And they were throwing money like crazy. And, of course, I'll do my own movie. Of course. How many zeros are on that check? Yeah. But, you know what? I had a great time, a great experience. and you know what the greatest thing is is that it led to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, man.
50:47Come on, the secret of the ooze? Are you kidding me? This is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle generation. Obama, I heard that he loved and grew up to the Ninja Turtles. If you have a chance to work with Donatello, you have to take it in a heartbeat. Yeah, totally. I got to ask, in the movie, because this was a question we all had, When you guys ride in on the motorcycles in that first scene, first it starts with the opening with Naomi Campbell and the song and the video and everything. And then the next shot is you guys riding through fields and the countryside. Where had you come from? Well, you know, the thing is that we're travelers.
51:30You're nomads? Okay. We said that. That was one of our goals. I have no home. That's the whole mystery of the movie. Yeah, because you don't even have a parent. pops in on this city all of a sudden. Where did he come from? Who is he? Who knows? Who knows? You're not supposed to know. Movie magic. You're not supposed to know. We're drifters. Yeah. And I did all the stunts on the motorcycles myself. We had a stunt guy, and I was watching him jump. And I'm a motocrosser. Okay. And I've been racing motocross since I was eight years old. So, I mean, I'm like, I can't let my guys that race motocross see you do that little bitty jump.
52:01Let me show you how to jump that. Wait, wait, wait. So you jump the fence towards the arm? You jump the fence. Really? The car, the fence, all of it. Through the wall? At first they were like, well, what if you scratch yourself or hurt yourself? The movie's just, we can't put you on hold. We can't wait for you to heal. I says, I'm not going to hurt myself. Just watch. And they're like, no, no, no, no, no. And I just went back and, yeah, bam, jumped it. That's awesome. That was cool. Do it again.
52:22Jason Mantzoukas:Now, like, what kind of bike, like, I mean, so did you pick your bike then for that movie? Is that like, yeah, all specific? I picked the bike that I wanted. They let me have a lot of control. And so I'm then assuming that the older couple in that crazy house were the actual bike mechanics on set, right? They were not. They were great. They were fantastic. So I have a question about that house. Was that house just preexisting in this town? It was like this little designery house, or did they totally trick it out? Totally tricked it out. It was a set house. Yeah, it would have been cool, huh? Because we were like, maybe it's just weird.
52:53In this town, they found this funky house, and they're like, all right, we'll dress it up a little bit, and it'll be this thing. That house was too funky. I mean, even if you don't have an HOA committee coming down on you, I'm sure the neighbors, if they saw that house in the neighborhood. It was ragingly 90s. Yeah, it was all about it.
53:08Jason Mantzoukas:Was it like, what drew you to this story? Or was it like, did you have like, was it like, oh, we want you to be a cop? Or no, I want to do this love story. I sat down with him and actually kind of wrote it together. Oh, really? Because he wanted some things that I would like to see in the movie. And of course, I'm like, motorcycles, motorcycles, motorcycles. Motorcycles. So they revolved it around the motorcycles and kind of, you know, got picked up on some of the light stuff that I like. And we incorporated it. And then I threw in my little drop that zero, get with the hero. oh, looky, looky, looky, and cat's black bookie.
53:38Jason Mantzoukas:Let's do it. We said that the thing that you pulled off in that movie that is the most amazing thing is you basically wake up in a girl's bed that you just met the day before, and you're feeding her ice, and it's not creepy. You don't feel like you've pulled that off. That's a hard thing. That's an insane scene. She's in high school, and you are just in her bed. You feel like, oh, all right, that's a nice guy. It's casual. Oh, cool. It's totally casual. She wakes up with an ice cube in her mouth. It all depends on who it's with. The fact that it was with me made it all right. If it had been Michael Gross, super disgusting.
54:12Super disgusting. It's like Charlie Sheen. He can do anything, and you just can't hate the guy. You just love him. You love him no matter what he does. Probably unless you're Chuck Lorre. Chuck Lorre probably hates Charlie Sheen. I'm sure there's something.
54:26Jason Mantzoukas:If you have not seen this movie, it really is. It's so different. It's weird. There's weird elements to it. Well, to that point, so at the beginning, the license plate says state of mind. Was that just sort of like a little play on it, or is it saying, like, this is going to be kind of a weird, almost dream-like. You know, that's the great thing about it. Dreamy, trippy. You could almost, you know, you could do drugs and watch this movie. And there's a lot of movies that are great like that. Not that we're advocating that. Not that we're advocating that. But we are advocating that. I'm just saying, there is some trippy things in there.
55:03that make you say, who did they make that for? That's not for sober people that moment. No, there's a girl eating blue eggs
55:11Jason Mantzoukas:with a giant salt shaker. It's insane. It has some elements that are like Alice in Wonderland. So did you intend to sync this up with a Pink Floyd record and then find out symbolism? You're giving me too much control. I didn't have all that control. Because I tried all of them. It doesn't matter. None of them worked. And what were you on at that time? Lexapro. So the original script, was it longer than what you guys had, shorter? It kind of evolved along the way because we were making things up as we were going because I think I did a couple of lines and they were like, that was great. And I go, oh, so you mean I can go off script and do that?
55:54And they go, yeah, if it's going to be like that, go ahead. Be yourself. I'm like, okay, cool. As far as your storyline with the ex-cop father and the bad guys and all that kind of stuff. That was pretty much written. That's all written in.
56:07Jason Mantzoukas:When you released that movie, it was at that point, was there a big premiere? Was it the whole thing? Yeah, we had a big premiere. It was right here. I think it was at the Mans. The Mans. Yeah, we had the red carpet, everything. It was great. Lots of celebrities. Bruce Willis was there. Madonna. I mean, lots of people. And it was just cool. It was, you know, sign of the times and the moment back in those days. It's amazing. I never in a million years thought I'd be sitting here with you guys right now talking 18 years later. I know, right? It's not cool as ice. It has that kind of crazy vibe to it where it's like you're watching it, and it is, like whoever said, it's like perfectly 90s in that poppy, colorful, insane.
56:47It makes you miss it, doesn't it? Oh, totally. You know, the great thing about the 90s is that that's like the last time we had a generation that we could define that generation. You know, you could say that these moments in that time, whether it was vanilla ice, the baggy pants, the hairdos, the shave, the eyebrows, the zigzags in the hair. Or if you wore Z Cavricci pants. Oh, my God. It's a crazy time of self-expression. Like, I was watching and I was like, my God, like men, you don't see men wearing this much color. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. Let me ask you this. We've got 10 years that have gone by, or 12 now in the 2000s, in the new millennium.
57:24What defines it? There is nothing. Just people looking down at their phones. That's about it. Or men are dressing like it's the 1800s again. Yes. That old look. That just seems like a peasant. Yes. That old hipster look.
57:35Jason Mantzoukas:Yeah, steamer punk. And now you're part of the ICP, the Insane Clown Posse, and you've done these. We're talking about the gatherings and stuff like that. How did you get involved with those guys, though? What's your entry into them? Were you a fan, or did they come to you? Is there a hazing process? I had a weekend that lasted a few years, okay? Way back in the day, 18 years ago. And, you know, I swam through some trenches. In order to get through those trenches to get to the other side, you're going to need a paddle. They were my paddle. They helped me get through the trenches and find my purpose in life and who I am and embrace who I am.
58:09Because I had issues. I mean, people saw it on Surreal Life. I hated the old vanilla ice, the image and everything. You know, even though I sold 160 million records, it's not about money. It's not about fame, another car, yacht, a house. It's about who you are. What's your purpose in life? Yeah. And I found myself hibernating because I couldn't figure out who I was. You know, it's hard for, you know, I did it when I was 16. Right. So you think of Britney Spears. She shaves her head. There's a transitional moment where you have to figure out who you are and what's your purpose in life away from this larger than life persona of being a celebrity.
58:40So you were 16 when Ice Ice Baby came out. I was 16. I did the Stop the Violence Tour. I was on tour with Ice T, Stetsasonic, EPMD. I was the opening act for the opening act for the opening act. Wow. It's so funny because I was 11 or 12 at the time, and to me, you seemed like an adult. That's what I feel like, too.
58:59Jason Mantzoukas:When I was listening to it, I was like, he must be out. How old were you when you did the movie? 19. Wow. That's crazy. Because what's interesting with the movie is you do seem a lot older than her. Yeah, so that's one of the other questions we had was like, she's in high school, but how old is he? What is going on? Whoa, so now - I love how you guys dissect it all and you just look at it so deeply. Oh, my God. We went scene by scene. I just think it's funny and cool that I've made peace with it, and now I can kind of join in with everybody and go, that's a great movie like you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
59:32I hated that movie for a while. Yeah. I mean, it almost killed me. And then now I'm like, I love it. And I love the turtles. And I love, you know, the fact that it stands as... Which is why people still respond to it, because it's like... It's so unabashedly what it is.
59:47Jason Mantzoukas:It's fun to watch. It is. Like, everyone's like, you've got to watch that movie. and I never had seen it. And it was like, oh, wow, this is actually, I mean, it's trippy on a lot of levels. It's crazy. What happens with the movie is like you do enter into a world, and it's interesting now to know that you guys were, the choice was that you were sort of these nomads because once the movie starts, you do enter into this crazy, like, fun house world. It's like where the rules that we all subscribe to do not apply. Right, and then you start to see the storyline a little bit. And it's cool. At the end, it all sums up.
1:00:23Well, I'm going to ask about you. In the movie, you and your love interest in the movie, in your mind, when that movie ended, in the world of the movie, did you guys stay together? Did you guys have a chance? Your characters. Oh, you mean like, no. She was going off to college. June is living in the fiction of the movie. Oh, my God. You are in the movie. I love that. But here's the thing, she's going off to college, the first year she's going to have a lesbian swing. She's a lug, lesbian until graduation. Just a little experimentation, and then how, you know, did you guys survive that? I'm just wondering, do you think you guys had a chance?
1:00:59Jason Mantzoukas:June wants to know, did your relationship in the movie, like if there was, if we were to fast forward, and if there was a sequel, would those two characters be together? You think you guys should be together. Yeah, like cool airs-ice. You've got to remain a mystery. There's some questions that you have about movies that will never be answered, and that's the great thing about the mystery of movies. Okay, well then let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. It's now 18 years later, is that right? Yep. Okay. Is it time for a sequel? Yeah. Is it time? Where are they now? You and Kat get back together.
1:01:29You ride your bike back into town. She's a mom with kids, but her husband is Nick. He's still a dick. Right? You come back into town. That house has been condemned. But you're also like, you should grow a beard and get all shaggy. You're not yourself exactly. So you need to get back to who you are. She needs to get back to who she is. I've got to pitch another idea that it's actually Ice who's now living a suburban life. No, no, no. How about I come in and that house is still that same way on the block and I renovate it. Nice. And that becomes season three of the Vanilla Ice Project on DIY Network.
1:02:07That's a good plug. It's a really solid plug. You caught it. Smooth, smooth. I didn't notice it. It is on Saturday nights, right? It's Saturday nights. Every Saturday, the new episode comes out, 15 episodes. So make sure you creep on it. Don't sleep on it. And you're on Twitter, right?
1:02:22Jason Mantzoukas:Which is, what's your Twitter handle? My Twitter handle is at Vanilla Ice. Simple as a pimple. I love it. And so we got DYI, Saturday nights, 8 o 'clock, ICP. You'll be at the next gathering of the Juggalos, right? Next gathering of the Juggalos. I'm signed to Psychopathic Records and whoop, whoop. And all I'm going to say is, you know, the Juggalos do make movies. Yep. I feel like an updated Cool as Ice 2 could be... Even cooler. It would be... I feel like that could be amazing. More clowns. More clowns. I love clowns. You come in with a group of clowns. Yeah, it has a real circus beat. You know what?
1:02:57Jason Mantzoukas:That should be the thing. If you are, like, you've now become, like, a suburban dad, and then the clowns come to town, and you kind of switch the roles, you're like the Michael Gross character in the sequel, and then they bring you into their society. I love it. It could be good. Cold as ice. You know what? Maybe we'll do like Cool as Ice, the first ever like retro with clowns and maybe get Adam Sandler in there and do it in 3D. All right. So any final thoughts? Anybody have any final thoughts? This is one of those movies that like I feel like at the end of a lot of these, I'm like, would I tell somebody to watch this or not?
1:03:30And I feel like you have to watch this. Yes. Oh, I feel like you do. I mean, like, really, but understand, it's neither, like, so bad it's good, nor is it bad for bad. It's just something absolutely bizarre. Some of the choices that are made need to be seen. You need to try and crack the code.
1:03:51Jason Mantzoukas:Like Troll 2, The Room, Birdemic, these are movies that you need to see. You need to just be like, yeah, I have to see. I've always heard about this movie, and I've never had the instinct to watch it, But now I feel like I must tell people you have to watch it. Oh, absolutely. And the only thing I can think is that the original script was maybe 180, 200 pages. And they're like, this is too long, Mr. Sten. Yeah. You got to cut. And so they just willy-nilly put red X's on every page. Like, we don't need this. This isn't important. It's just like, yeah, it just, oh. I want to know. I do want to know what Vanilla Ice is as an entity.
1:04:29Jason Mantzoukas:I know. A motherless, brotherless, parentless, hip-hop nomad. Wait, now, just correct me if I'm wrong, but James Dean dies at the end of Rebel Without a Cause, right? Yes. I believe so. So, that's not really a remake. Yeah. That's a happy remake of Rebel Without a Cause. It's a reinterpretation. It's fair. Oh, my gosh. Well, you can always follow us on Twitter. Brian, what can they follow you at on Twitter? At the Brian Husky. I'm at Paul Scheer. At Miss June Diane. I'm not on Twitter, guys. You are a rebel. I'm a rebel with a cause, guys. No Twitter. We have those Ridiculous Cage t-shirts. Make sure you check those out and buy them.
1:05:09Jason Mantzoukas:And make sure you are subscribed to our feed and have automatic downloads turned on in the show settings. It helps us. And we also just simply appreciate it a lot. All right. We'll see you next week. That was cool as ice.
1:05:52Jason Mantzoukas:I'm kidding. www.cloho.com Traditional home security only alerts you after a break-in. And that's too late. SimpliSafe is changing that. Stop. This is SimpliSafe. Police are on the way. We don't just alert. We stop crime before it starts. SimpliSafe. Plan starting around a dollar a day. Save 60 % on a new system with professional monitoring during our 20th anniversary sale at simplisafe.com. Outdoor deterrence requires a SimpliSafe Active Guard outdoor protection plan starting at$49.99 a month. Visit SimpliSafe.com slash licenses for alarm license information. Tennessee 2012.
From the publisher
Vanilla Ice's first movie, 1991's Cool as Ice, is like if Rebel Without a Cause had turntables, 8-ball jackets, and a lot of sick 90s dance moves. Brian Huskey (Veep) joins Paul, Jason, and June to discuss the weird biker gangs, inexplicable love stories, the witness protection program plot, the gorgeous visuals shot by Stephen Spielberg's go-to cinematographer Janusz Kaminski, and much more. Plus, towards the end of the episode Vanilla Ice himself joins the crew to give first-hand insight into the stunts, sets, and jargon that has stood the test of time. Drop that zero and get with the hero! (Ep. #30 Originally Released 02/14/2012)
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