Double Dragon LIVE! (Classic)

23:53Jason Mantzoukas:And it's working. It is actually working. So if you have summer travel coming up, now is the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now, Babbel is offering listeners up to 60 % off. Go to babbel.com slash bonkers. That's Babbel, B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash bonkers for up to 60 % off. Rules and restrictions may apply. But we do know that people are not of their right mind. Was it because of the quake? We don't know. Was it because, you know, Andy Dick gave up on acting and decided to become a weatherman? Like, there are weird choices made in this movie. Like, Andy Dick's like, I survived.

24:34Jason Mantzoukas:I don't want to leave LA for my burgeoning movie and TV career. I'm going to stay here and just transition to being a weatherman. Vanna White, I think it's an upgrade. George Hamilton, I think it's like, it stays. It's a lateral move. It's like lateral move. From the Hollywood Harbor to the Tijuana border, this is New Angeles' number one nightly news with George Hamilton and Vanna White. In our top story tonight, it's daylight savings time again. Now make sure you set your clocks one hour ahead tonight or tomorrow evening you may accidentally find yourself out after curfew. I always get them mixed up, whether to go forward or backward.

25:12That's great, Dana.

25:15Jason Mantzoukas:Andy, how's it look out there? Oh, you two are crazy.

25:25Jason Mantzoukas:June, what do you think is going on in New Tokyo? I just saw that right now. Andy Dick is in front. New Tokyo. That seems as if there was an earthquake in Japan and Tokyo sailed over. I think that's what's happened. No, I think what happened, is that possible? Or Japan is gone. Japan is gone. Some piece of land mass is there. And they're like, well, it's New Tokyo now. I thought it was Little Tokyo downtown that somehow split off and floated into the ocean. Well, what's interesting is this map appears to have the Capitol Records building, like, right there. In Lake Pasadena. If you know anything about Hollywood, and you shouldn't, this map is aggressively wrong.

26:14But who knows, Paul, after the shake, after that big shake.

26:18Jason Mantzoukas:But that would mean the way this map is structured, that, like, a lot of the West Coast would come off, and then Pasadena would come running up to the West Coast. But then other parts of the west, like the west side would stay totally intact. But the Pacific Ocean basically comes up to vine is what this is saying. It seems that neighborhoods have jumped over each other. Yes. Anyway, these people decide to stay. They're heroes. You know, a lot of people say a lot of things about Andy Dick, but, you know, he stayed. When the quake happened, he stayed. So one of the things that you see in the karate tournament is like a little guy just going like, like every time there's an earthquake rumble, he's like jacking it up.

27:00Jason Mantzoukas:Like jacking up a car. Jacking it up. What? Jacking it up. Oh. No. But they're like, this movie is based on the premise that like, if you put like a car jack in a building, you can restrain your, It's stupid. There's an active commercial for Jackson in the movie. The focus is on just the commercial. This is why I love this movie, because this movie starts off in China, we're in a big bad guy's lair, we're at a karate tournament, and then we go into Weird Al Yankovic's UHF, where we just have a bunch of fucking sketches. It's like, here's a commercial, here's a funny newscast, Here's an exceptionally long weather report.

27:50Yeah.

27:51Jason Mantzoukas:And it keeps on going. At one point, I was more interested in who was in the NBA finals because George Hamilton was like, and the NBA finals is here again. I'm like, oh, who? Who is it going to be? You know, and we never got to it. All right, so here's Jack City. It's Sunday. You're watching the Raiders-Gladiators game on TV, and suddenly the house collapses. How embarrassing. But it's not your fault. Can you push pause for one second? These are those classic L.A. accents. Those classic Southern California quintessential accents that are synonymous with the city itself. I also feel like they were trying to take a subtle dig at Super Mario Brothers a little bit.

28:33Jason Mantzoukas:But maybe I'm wrong. You think these guys are Mario and Luigi? Yeah. Oh, interesting. Because they're like not plumbers, but they're jackers. See, I thought they were... They're Jackers? I don't like that. Jack City! I don't like that, and I don't like how quickly it came to your mouth. By the way, there's the t-shirt. Jack City. Get these guys on it. It's not bad. I like a Jack City. I will say, I liked the sequel, the new one. New Jack City. All right, here we go. It's all about wordplay, Philly. It's everybody's fault. that's why you gotta go to Jack City. Well, you can choose from hundreds of decorated colors.

29:16So remember, if you didn't buy from us, you don't know Jack City.

29:22Jason Mantzoukas:Also, just a pause. Never comes back in the movie. These jacks are not a part an important part. I thought for sure they were gonna be like some reason for because they're set up like three different times in the first act. You see people during the fight sequence jacking up posts. So you see them later jacking something up, then you see the commercial, and I was like, okay, that's going to be part of it. Nope, not at all. So a couple questions about Shuko and Shuko's motivations. And do you want to refer to him as Shuko or Victor Geisman? I will, I mean, I love his Christian name, but I prefer to call him Shuko.

30:06So Shuko, I guess, owns most of Los Angeles now. Seems like he is some sort of oligarch. Yeah, so I'm confused about what he actually needs from these powers, given what he's been able to accomplish without them. Also, also, why is he also the person who killed their father? Like, what is his... Why are all of these people connected to each other?

30:35Jason Mantzoukas:He also doesn't seem to have any martial arts background at all. And look, we get the biggest insight into his motivation in this scene, where he reveals what he really wants. I mean, this is basically it. If you go, what's this movie about? It's about this character saying this. How hard can it be to pull my beloved dragon out of the river? Huh? I mean, it's down there. The river's really deep. Damn it! Shit! Ewing, Lewis, any news?

31:11I just want total domination of one major American city! Is that too much to ask for? Is it? Is it?

31:20Jason Mantzoukas:That's what he wants. Total domination. He has it. It seems like he's succeeded. He got it. Yeah. Like, hang a mission accomplished sign over the aircraft carrier, baby. We did it. He is working out of a mall. Anything is bought for a price. It also seems, though, that a lot of... I mean, correct me if I'm wrong. I don't know the source material. But it seems that a lot of the medical experiments he's been able to do have happened without these medallions. Yes. Those are just... Yeah, that's like he's some sort of, like, you know... He's giving these guys steroids. Yeah, he seems to be trying to create monsters.

32:06Jason Mantzoukas:I wrote down he is creating a bunch of extras for Nothing But Trouble, a movie that we did on this podcast. This movie has a lot of... These disgusting mutants. It's very Nothing But Trouble-ian at points. It does feel... And that monster that's created... A rejected Klumps character. and that monster's created to be the most powerful man in the world by the way his name boadobo boadobo okay so he's part of the mohawk gang he the problem with him is he was much more flexible. He was much more malleable and quick and I think stronger before he became that monster. Of course. Of course.

33:03No, once he becomes this roided out kind of monstrosity he has to be put inside of a plastic suit that becomes like that can't move or can't do anything. So he just kind of wanders around. He's much scarier in the beginning. I know that there is a theory about

33:25Jason Mantzoukas:if you use steroids, your penis gets smaller, right? I imagine that how big he is, is his penis so, so tiny? Is this what you were thinking about during the movie? Is that why you have all those pictures in there drawn? I was like, now, again, picture the body. Do-do-do, tiny, tiny, tiny, pee-pee. And that's why he's so mad? You think that? Okay, okay. You think Bo Adobo is so mad because he's been made to ingest so much steroids that it has made his penis so, so small that he's full of rage. But arguably what happens upon his being full of these steroids is he becomes quite emotional and starts rooting for the good guys.

34:15Right?

34:16Jason Mantzoukas:Well, I think that's after he loses the battle, right? And he's left for dead. Yeah, I guess that's right. They do leave him for dead in a burning building. So I think that would make you switch sides. But even at that point, he is kidnapped and then is force-fed spinach, which I thought was like kind of a play on Popeye. This movie is fucking wild. It's crazy. I'm realizing now, genuinely, I didn't pick up on a lot of stuff. I just watched it like colors and shapes going by. Usually I'm able to intuit more of what's happening. And in this one, I was like, okay. Red and blue are still in it, but I don't know what's up with this guy.

35:06This guy looks like Bane now. Yeah, I couldn't quite figure it out. Robert Patrick was doing, as far as I'm concerned, the best Charlie Sheen impression I've ever seen.

35:22Jason Mantzoukas:I love Robert Patrick in this movie, and I Googled, I said, when did Terminator 2 come out? Is this like the next movie he made, or is this a little while later? Terminator 2 came out in 1991. This movie came out in 1994. so pretty close. This is like, you're hot. What's your next move? Double dragon. I got the call. Bobby P, I got you that job and it's called double dragon. Do you know any martial arts? No. No worries. When it comes to martial arts, we'll turn you into two guys with swords.

36:06you just think real hard wish on a medallion and you will turn into two guys with swords the crazy thing about him is that medallion that's hanging on scott wolf's neck is he goes through all of this all of these different um i guess body shifting moments to jump into people's body, to use the power of the soul to get in there, to get that other medallion. There are so many points in this movie that that medallion is this close. Oh, yeah. And he could have just... Everybody can. Just grabbed it. Just get it. It's outside of his shirt. Just go right there and just grab it like that.

36:46Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, I don't feel safe. I don't like it. Got it. I don't feel safe. Get it right there. June, you know, no touching. I mean, this movie also posits that everyone fights terribly because at one point, the Double Dragon kids are attacked by, like, conservatively, like, 45 people. At least. Like, they are surrounded by a battalion of people. And no one surrounds them. They're not particularly good fighters. I mean, they're not like, you don't watch these moves and go, like, whoa. You kind of watch these moves and go, like, if I could karate for six months, I could do this. Mark Dacascos is a legit, like, for me also, one of my very dear co-stars in John Wick, Chapter 3, Maravellum.

37:33He is legit, like, one of the best. I fucking love him. He's doing such amazing work in this, but you're right. Everybody else, if you told me they didn't block or plan any of that fight, and they were just like, we have 400 extras, you and Scott are just going to jump up and down, and they're going to fall down randomly. By the way, it's during this fight, that big fight scene, where I thought maybe everybody got just their sense shaken out of them because there's a mailman in there. There's a mail person.

38:13Jason Mantzoukas:Air mail. I'm like, all of a sudden, we're in like the tryouts for WWF. Like 80s WWF. But that gentleman, that gentleman is in his uniform, his postal uniform. And it really looked like he was just delivering the mail one day. The big one hit. Well, should we understand that the mailmen are part of one of the gangs? Yes. Right? Like, that's what's happened. Like, all groups are now, or jobs are unto themselves gangs? But what move is that to try to land on someone but announce your jump? Because you are letting them know. It's like saying look out below, but you're trying to kill them. So you should be like, shh, jump.

39:01Jason Mantzoukas:You shouldn't be like. So wait, you think you should say shh and then jump? I was trying to make it for the podcast audience that they would. Be very quiet. I'm hunting doubled wagons.

39:17I didn't I didn't I didn't catch a lot I couldn't If you told me I couldn't tell you anything about Alyssa Milano's character Like zero Well she's very well defined I know she's leading some sort of

39:34Jason Mantzoukas:Power core Kid rebellion The kids are just a new faction of the power core So she's got kids working for her No Those kids don't have homes They're homeless? I believe they are homeless Oh She says this is a safe space for them Okay, so they don't get pulled into gang violence So they don't get those Mickey Mouse hands It's like an after school program How out of touch Is her father That he doesn't know she's wearing A wig Can you imagine Your daughter My daughter is wearing a wig every day. And you're like, you look great, sweetie. But by the way... Your daddy's little girl kisses the top of her head.

40:23It's a wig.

40:25Jason Mantzoukas:But by the way, I do need to point out that when we meet Alyssa Milano at home and she's combing out that wig, she puts on like a house coat and is dressed the way my grandmother dressed around the house as a woman in her 50s that didn't really have a job. I was like, this is an odd choice for a youthful young woman to be wearing a housecoat. Like scathing indictment of your grandmother. A jobless woman in her 50s wandering about in a housecoat. What shame. What shame, Nana. Get a job, Nana. She didn't need a job because she had all them Fabergé eggs. Got those eggs, Philly. Give us those eggs.

41:12I mean, I know Paul used to nurse a really serious crush for Alyssa Milano.

41:20Jason Mantzoukas:I did have an Alyssa Milano poster over my bed. What? She was in a hockey jersey and, like, looking cool. Who's the boss style? Is that when she played for the Flyers? I don't remember. I wonder if that poster. Huge poll, by the way. I was like 50-50 on whether that's right like genuinely I was like I'm just gonna go for it no I had a huge crush on her and then this is the poster I'm just pulling it up right now Paul be careful you might spontaneously ejaculate this might be like sense memory this could be Pavlovian so she's in a New Jersey's devil

42:10Okay, Philly, okay

42:13Jason Mantzoukas:So there it is I mean, you can see it a little bit And that's what I had over my bed She's in ripped jeans, New Jersey's devil And of course we know And I traded it Wait, I think it's New Jersey devils I don't think it's New Jersey's devil I don't think it's possessive of the devil I don't respect it enough Rangers, forever

42:38Better than Islanders. Paul, this is Philly. Remember. I know. These people eat horse shit off the street.

42:51Look under your seats. There's a fresh apple under every seat. Munch, munch, you weirdos.

43:01Jason Mantzoukas:yeah i think i traded that poster you traded it yeah my friend was like i want that poster and i was like what will you trade me for and i think i got a ghostbusters mirror

43:16Jason Mantzoukas:what like a mirror that had the ghostbusters logo on it so you could jerk off to your own image No, to the ghost So you replaced the thing you jerked off to With a mirror?

43:32That's very sad Oh, God Paul, you lost that trade I don't mind telling you You lost that trade Great news for comedy TV fans Every episode of the Hulu original series, Alice and Steve, is streaming on Hulu. From the producers of Baby Reindeer, best friends Alice and Steve see their world implode when Steve starts dating Alice's 26-year-old daughter. When the once rock-solid friendship turns sour, these best friends make the best enemies. Watch every episode of Alice and Steve on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

44:16Jason Mantzoukas:Mint mobile plans are only$15 a month. I mean, what's the catch? Well, here's the thing. There isn't one. There's no gimmicks, no gotchas, just unlimited talk, text, and data, fast, reliable coverage on the nation's largest 5G network, and an award-winning care team. That makes Mint Mobile a catch. I mean, honestly, what else do you need? You can bring your current phone number and phone with you. Plus, you can choose from three, six, or 12-month plans and say goodbye to a monthly bill. To get your new wireless plan for just$15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash hdtgm. That's mintmobile.com slash hdtgm.

44:53Jason Mantzoukas:Cut your wireless bill to$15 a month at mintmobile.com slash hdtgm. That's it. There's no catch. $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to$15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gig on unlimited plan. Additional taxes and fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Look, we are so hesitant to upgrade our sleeping situation. It's hard. What, do I get a new mattress? Do I have a sleep tracker? Am I getting my supplements? What, alarm clocks that glow? You don't need any of that. What you need is to upgrade your bedding with Bowl & Branch. Their signature sateen sheets, breathable pillows, cozy waffle bed blankets, and beautifully crafted comforters work together for comfort and temperature regulation.

45:39Jason Mantzoukas:I am in love with these sheets. I've heard about these sheets for a very long time, but me, like you, never actually pulled the trigger. Now I got it. And here's the best part. As I wash them, every time I put them back on, they're even more comfortable. I don't know where to begin. Easy. You start with the signature sheet set and then add the comforter and the waffle blanket. I got a waffle blanket too. That's great. Anyway, I absolutely love these sheets. Upgrade your sleep with Bowl & Branch. Get 15 % off your first order. plus free shipping at bowlandbranch.com slash bonkers with code bonkers.

46:14Jason Mantzoukas:That's bowlandbranch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D, branch.com slash bonkers, code bonkers to unlock 15 % off. Exclusions apply. Alyssa Milano, I remember, it was like a real, like, I feel like sex symbol. Who's the boss? Yes, from, I was, exactly, from who's the boss in that way that, like, I get why she's in this movie as this character. I just couldn't figure out what she was doing Oh and by the way they have a great Who's the boss reference in it Oh I don't know I'm just older than you guys Enough that who's the boss and Alyssa Milano Kind of I miss Oh it's so good It's all about double trouble twins Oh that's good too But basically there's The line was this In the final battle Linda That's Linda Lash says to Marion Now who's the boss and then later Marion tells Lash, you're lucky.

47:10Jason Mantzoukas:Generally, I put people in the hospital because Lash was on General Hospital. Oh. And then when they went to the restaurant, the hostess was like, I've got a party of five for ugly party of five. I was very excited to see Scott Wolfe. I feel like we didn't get enough of his dimples in this movie. Got to get those dimps. Where were they? And where was his bare butt? By the way, I have to say, this is a movie where a lot happens, but I can't tell you anything about any of these characters. And I think Scott Wolf is a dick. Like, in this character. I agree. Like, in this movie. Like, he's not likable.

47:55Jason Mantzoukas:Like, he does, like, dirty punches in the beginning. Like, he's an asshole. He cheats. It's like, there's nothing sympathetic. I don't want to root for him. I'm like, you're a dick. One of his main complaints is like, you're always planning. Okay, if that's the biggest dig. In this post-apocalyptic world, you always make plans. We have to have enough food. We don't have money. We shouldn't wreck the car. I think I don't have a... I can't make a good reading about Scott Wolf. I loved him so much. In Party of Five? Yes. That I just was very happy to see him. Come on, you never saw Party of Five?

48:32Never saw it. Oh my God, so good. I don't go in for that. Here we go. Pilot episode of Party of Five. Let's do it. Turn the lights down. We're all just going to watch it. So I want to say something about Alyssa Milano's hair.

48:47Jason Mantzoukas:The daughter hair or the blonde highlighted hair? This blonde hair. So it's so tough because she's such a beautiful woman. This hairdo will not look good on anyone. Not a single person. There's no way for it to. I could pull it off. Jason? That is like a Swedish pop star's hair. Robin can do this. Right. Yes, okay. Robin can do this, or I believe this might be the haircut that the woman from Diantward still has. It's just so confusing because there's no shape to those bangs. Some are very long, some are very short. It really upset me. Well, it's interesting because what I couldn't figure out in the movie is, I understand her bleached out, short, kind of punk rock haircut is essentially, does in a way make sense to me in a, if the movie is a post-apocalyptic, true wasteland, escape from L.A., Johnny Mnemonic style, but it's not.

49:56She is also meant to be a normal suburban daughter who's got a cop as a dad and has to go to school or do whatever.

50:03Jason Mantzoukas:Her brother's on VR roller coasters, the only thing that really saw the future in this film. Like, that juxtaposition then doesn't really make sense to me. Then I don't understand. Well, I still can't get a handle on what the power cord does. Like, just on a day-to-day. Do they restore... I think it's breakdancing. No. They restore power to the city. To the core? Maybe. Well, they do seem to have generators. Yes, there's a lot of blackouts. Okay, we're getting somewhere. I think that they make those kids pedal bicycles. There are a lot of blackouts, and the dad says at one point, oh, that power core, they're responsible for the blackouts.

50:44Jason Mantzoukas:And she goes, no, dad, the power core makes the power, or some rough version of that language is said. So do you think, okay, let me understand this. This is what I'm going to conjecture. Alyssa Milano has all of New Angeles' orphaned children or lost children who she is using as slave labor in order to power the city electrically? I wouldn't dispute that, and we'll get out to the audience. If that's the case, she's the villain of the movie. If that's the case, we've got to free these kids from the power corps. These are children! Can anyone speak to that? Can anyone tell us if we're right or wrong?

51:26Jason Mantzoukas:Wrong. Hold on, I'm going to go over and find out. Ma 'am, you better have a concise answer. I'm coming to you right now. Just quickly, Paul, before you go to her, she is the one who saves the day at the end of the movie. Power corn? Yeah. Yeah. Because what's his face? Because Robert Patrick doesn't like the lights. And that's one of the things that I had missed. I really missed that. I had missed that if he is exposed, to too much light, his magic doesn't work? Like, here's the thing. He's got the two medallions. Doesn't that, isn't that in this movie the equivalent of the Infinity Stones? Hasn't he now assembled like all of the Hallows?

52:12Can't he conquer death now? Like, he's put the two together. That's like having the Resurrection Stone, the Elder Wand, and the Kate. And I think that's one of the problems with the movie.

52:24Jason Mantzoukas:But I would argue that light just made him drop it, right? Light made him drop the thing, and then they were on the ground, and then that was it. It was over. Yeah, like, I didn't understand why just shining bright light on him made the medallion fall off of his body. Well, I think what you're also right about is when the medallions came together for that double dragon moment, the only thing that really happened was they got suits. Yes. When Robert Patrick has but one half of the medallion, He can turn into the smoke monster from Lost. He can possess other people. Bodies. Right? With the exception of Scott Foley, who he can't possess because he's got the other half of the...

53:06Scott Wolf. Scott Wolf. Sorry, sorry.

53:08Jason Mantzoukas:Woo! He also can't, to be fair, he also can't possess Scott Foley either. Okay. Because he's just such a big fan of Felicity. Scott Wolf and Scott Foley, to me, are... Of the same. They are in the same... Okay, got it. Anyway, so he can do all of this crazy shit with one half, right? When he combines both, when Robert Patrick combines both, not Robert Patrick, yes, combines both halves of the medallions, all that happens is he turns into two guys with swords. That's it. They don't have magic powers. They're just two guys with swords. But how cool would it have been if they had enough money to make two Robert Patricks of swords?

53:50Was that an option?

53:52Jason Mantzoukas:I feel like that's what we should have done But let me just hear what the Power Corps does What do you think the Power Corps does? So the Power Corps are like the vigilante anti-gangs They basically fight the gangs And try to restore safety to the city Which is why the gangs all looked scared when they showed up Also, the police seem to think kind of a la Batman That the Power Corps are terrorists shooting down planes But really they're only shooting down planes full of drugs At least that's what Alyssa Milano says to her Wow, they're shooting down planes. Thank you, ma 'am. Did not get that. But here's the weird thing about it.

54:25Here's the very strange thing about the Power Corps. They seem, when you go into their lair, it seems very bright and colorful. Like, it seems like a camp. Isn't it full of arcade games? Yeah. But that's what this movie... Why would the police ever have the idea that they're terrorists? But Power Corps' HQ seemed like a rec center. from Electric Boogaloo the one where they're trying to save the rec center and what I couldn't figure out is why are they a threat at all this seems to be kids at play this is daycare, this is Gymboree yes, boy would it have been great if it was like that Gymboree and it was just a bunch of little kids

55:12Jason Mantzoukas:this is the problem of making a post-apocalyptic film for kids because they keep on mixing and matching things. Like, yes, it's so brightly colored, and there's video games, and people are eating pancakes for dinner and popcorn for dinner, and it's gross to feed someone spinach, because spinach is gross! You know, but then like, you have a guy smoking, like, the bad guy, like, you have like some adult-themed shit going on with some really peewee playhouse kind of shit going on there, too. It's a bizarre, bizarre film. I know that a lot of the kids did like the Huey Lewis and the news reference.

55:49Jason Mantzoukas:The henchmen, Huey and Lewis in What's the News? Not for nothing, if this is aimed at kids, like they kill. If it's aimed at kids? They kill Satori, like boom, she's donezo. I thought for sure she was going to come back. Of course I thought she was going to come back because it seemed like she was the true keeper of the Double Dragon legacy or history or whatever. The fact that she's just like wiped out so these two dildos can run around I was like, what is going on here? And Satori looked to be their same age, yet she was their guardian. Yes. Yes. Why not make Satori an older woman who brought them in?

56:29Jason Mantzoukas:No, she's like, you're 18, I'm 19. I adopted you. I guess the rules work differently. There was a moment that I loved. I pointed it out to June when we were watching because we were sharing AirPods. we both had one air pod watching this movie or as June calls them air buds

56:54June called them air buds the other night and I've thought about it a lot just the idea of putting two golden retrievers in your ears that are chasing tiny basketballs if the air if the thing I will design these It is, the basketball is the thing you put into your ear. What hangs outside of your ear is the golden retriever. So. It's a perfect design. It's a perfect product. Philly, please help me get this to market. Sharks, I need your help. Can we pull up a picture of her pants? We got to talk about, guys, we got to talk about these pants. Okay, I'm going to say one thing right now about them.

57:41before you even pull up this photo, I thought they were jeans at the beginning of the movie. Okay, I thought they were shorts. Okay. Oh, I thought they were shorts. By the end, I thought that they were... Chaps. Yeah, like spandex on top and then jeans on bottom. Just pull up a photo. All right, hold on. I'm going to try. I'm curious. Is there anybody in the audience who did not notice Alyssa Milano's pants?

58:10Jason Mantzoukas:Well, by the way... All right, everybody did. There is a moment in this movie I wrote down, these guys like ass. Oh, when they're going into the tube? By the way, it's a kids movie. June, you said so confidently, pull up a picture of those pants. Pull it up, Paul. Paul, pull it up, Paul. I don't know if I have them. We need a wide shot, though. I feel like we're in the zone. We're getting into the... Right when they climb through the tunnel. Oh, yeah. There we go. There we go. Okay. All right. Okay, so wait. So wait. So wait. So wait. Okay. Okay. Now. Now we can get to work. Now we can get to work.

58:58Okay. Does anybody have a laser pointer? We need a laser pointer. So right now, those look like jeans. No, Jason, those look like one pair of jeans This angle looks like jeans That looks like one pair of jeans that's been cut into Well, yes, the legs have both been cut off Except for tiny strips connecting each Like garter belts of jeans Denim garter belts connect the bottom to the top Right, so basically from the knee down is jean From like just It's like a thigh high Boot made of denim But she is also wearing shoes She is wearing shoes This is what's so weird about this shot I actually I'm very excited to see this from behind You are seeing it from behind I know and I'm excited to see it from behind Because Okay wait a second Pause Okay Okay.

1:00:02Okay. Time out. Time out. There are bicycle shorts underneath.

1:00:10Jason Mantzoukas:All right. So, bicycle shorts. So, keep in mind, there is full skin in between the lower leg and the butt. Even though those are still part of, I believe, the same item of clothing. Although, wait. Something just occurred to me. I think That her gloves Are made out of The jeans? The jeans

1:00:42I go back to it

1:00:43Jason Mantzoukas:I'm just looking at the same thing Wait, I think you're going to have to do For the movie You have to type in double dragon, Paul Alyssa Milano pants I was typing it in quickly You think Google's like, I know exactly the ones you're talking about, buddy. No, of course it's just Alyssa Milano wearing fucking pants. Oh, wow. I would love it if you said Alyssa Milano pants and your thing said again? All right, so here we go. We got a good picture of her pants. Oh, yes. Okay. Oh, that one. Now we're talking. Okay. Okay. Oh, my God. It's even crazier than I thought. This is wild. It's even crazier.

1:01:32Okay, somebody is screaming something from over here that is legitimate. Okay, that is part of her camouflage, which is the spray paint allows her to remember people were blended into the wall. But here's the thing. Guess what's not camouflaged? The flesh of her thighs. If you want, you know what our military doesn't do? They don't have camouflage from here down Here up and then just Generous skin

1:02:00Jason Mantzoukas:But by the way I like the idea that it's her Camouflage but it Should be the whole body It's not like people are just going to see her from the waist down But now I'm thinking okay You want to enlarge you can hit that Wait I just want the cursor I don't need to enlarge it Okay so this This Is not the same As the bicycle shorts in the back This is a different Yes it is people are saying Look that was grey And this looks like lace Wait okay hold on Okay fine What is this string attached to It's some sort of garter that's connecting the bottom jean to the top jean I think Can I ask the audience a question Do you think what's on the bottom of her legs Is the same as what's in her crotch region No You think it's a pair of shorts and then a garter belt with jean bottoms?

1:03:00What? Fuck you, Philly. What? I agree with the audience.

1:03:07Jason Mantzoukas:Fuck you. I agree with the audience 100%. I agree with the audience 100%. Hold on. Yes, absolutely.

1:03:20Hold on. Hold on.

1:03:27Hold on.

1:03:32Jason Mantzoukas:I believe that she is wearing jeans and a green tee, and when she goes undercover, she puts on her garters and attaches the spray paint pants. I get you, Philly. I'll eat horse shit with you. I guess so. I guess so, but like... Wow. Why? All right, well, obviously... There's no way this is for the work she's doing. Yeah, this is not functional. It just can't be. Otherwise, people would have adopted it. Obviously, we're not... Karate students everywhere would be wearing these. We are not going to get to the bottom of this. You don't know what it's like to live in New Angeles in 2007, okay? So, let's go to the audience right now to hear from them.

1:04:22Jason Mantzoukas:Maybe they have questions besides the pants that we can talk about. And I'm going to ask you in the audience tonight a question. We hear about Madonna divorcing Tom Arnold. We hear about Jerry Brown being the vice president of the United States. In this world, what celebrity do you think might be the president of the United States in this world? All right, your name, your president, and your question. My name is Boz, the president in this world? Yes. Oh, not the president in our world. We know that. That wouldn't be a hard thing. Just take a guess. You can say anything. Still Donald Trump. Okay, great.

1:05:02Jason Mantzoukas:Perfect. See, it was perfect. All right, now your question. Okay, so the quake, I think it had a little bit more impact on the area than New Angeles than maybe it mentioned. because in that weather forecast, I saw a place called La Canyada. That actually is a place in Los Angeles called La Canyada, but go ahead.

1:05:28Jason Mantzoukas:It is. I am serious. So, okay, we'll move on. You did it, Philly. You did it. First question out of the gate. You did it. All right. Ma 'am, your name, your president, your question. Hi, my name's Mo. President Tony Danza. Great. Excellent. Angela. End of the movie, they get into the car at the very end with Bo Adobo, whatever his name was. And they think that Scott Wolf is possessing him. So they get in the car with him. But then he's actually in the trunk of the car the entire time. So my question is, what was he doing in the trunk? Great. question. And also, does he have the power to possess bodies at that point?

1:06:20Yeah. Yes. So, I thought he had the power of the body. Wait, doesn't he have the power of the double dragon? So, ugh. So, once he becomes a double dragon, those powers are interchangeable, they can both... They have to combine it in order to both have the powers?

1:06:41Jason Mantzoukas:No, no, because Robert Patrick is going in People's Souls the whole movie. Only with the sole half. But that's because he had the medallion. Oh. Right, because... Can we get these down a little bit and house lights up a little bit? You're right, because I thought that was odd because it was all... Yeah, you're right. I was like, why did they assume he was in the other body? They don't even know. They just got them. They're like, we got to figure out these medallions a little bit more. I mean, they're rubbing it for a good part of the movie. Your name, hi. Yeah, why does everybody rub it like it's Aladdin's lantern?

1:07:11Jason Mantzoukas:I don't know. Your name, your president, and your question. Hi, Whitney. I'm so nervous. Hi. My president is... You got this, Wendy. Whitney. Whitney. You got this, Whitney. Thank you. My president would be Terry Crews. So you think this is like an idiocracy scenario? Yeah, very much so. And there's two observations I made since you're in John Wick 3, which I love you. You're great. Did you notice the two twins, they always, that whole group with like the Heather Locklear clone and everything, they always synchronized their glasses and eating gum together. But did you also notice that the restraints that they had...

1:07:51Who's the Asian guy?

1:07:53Jason Mantzoukas:Huey and Lewis? No, Mark... Oh, Mark Dacascos? Yes. He was in restraints. It looked like gimp. Those were the worst restraints I've ever seen because he could easily get out of those. Like gimp for making a friendship race with a camp? Yes, like the boss. Oh, I was thinking Pulp Fiction. Man.

1:08:13I remember making friendship bracelets in day camp. Oof. Tough stuff. Nobody wanted them.

1:08:22Jason Mantzoukas:All right, a man in a blood sport shirt has a question. Sir, your name, your president, your question. Ryan, probably Mel Gibson. Okay, great. And I just wanted to talk about the Easy Cheese engine fuel. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So at one point, they read the ingredients of easy cheese, they throw it in there, and they basically go like a million miles an hour. So the car, my understanding is the car is run on trash? Very much like Back to the Future 2. Yeah, exactly. And so they have to put trash in to make the car run, and then they pick up an aerosol bottle, and it says, do not combust. They throw it in anyway, and the car goes super fast.

1:09:05Jason Mantzoukas:a scathing indictment on snack food. You would think, though, that again, that would come back later in the movie. That that would be a skill that they learn once in Act 1, that in Act 3, they're like, boom, now we know how to go faster in the Dragonmobile. And that is really the problem with the movie, the only problem with the movie, as far as I see it, is that there's nothing heroic about these two characters. There's nothing, they don't use their smarts. They really don't use their skill, except for that one awesome move. They don't have, they don't seem really to have a mission. At all. They're just sort of going along with it.

1:09:45They just are like happening. They're almost like a couple of doofuses who keep happening into, like the movie should be about Alyssa Milano, like the leader of a, like the active leader of a rebellion. Or Satori. That's why I was so upset she died early on. I would have loved to have watched her journey.

1:10:04Jason Mantzoukas:Your name, your president, and your question. My name is Frank. I think the president of this world is definitely Jerry Springer. Great. And there's a lot of incredible technology in this movie. I'm glad we talked about the trash car. There's the video game rendering thing that the bad guy uses when he loses vision. But I think we have to talk about gang net link up, which is... Yes, the onboard computer in the car. is that what it is the onboard computer in the car yeah i thought that was fascinating is that i will ask is that from the video game no where you get the stats on each person you're gonna fight that's what i assumed it was because he said like this is bo adobo he's a he's steroids he can lift 800 pounds i was like oh maybe this is like one of the guys in the game that you fight and these are his specifics you know what i'm saying sir your name your president your question My name is Rob, and I think Danny Elfman would be a good president.

1:11:06I can only imagine his score.

1:11:09Jason Mantzoukas:Weird, but I like it. You want Danny Elfman from Oingo Boingo? Absolutely. The person who soundtracks all of Tim Burton's movies and The Simpsons. Again, from Oingo Boingo to be president-elect of this world? Rob, you're from Philly. All right, your question. So during when they first introduce Adobo, and again, when they're in the chase scene and the whole part where he has to activate the game simulation for him to see because there's newspaper in front of him, was it just me or was him and his colleague like basically jerking each other off? I agree. I wrote that too. Because they fight over how they're doing it wrong.

1:12:08And the motion was like, you don't use a joystick. You don't do this to a joystick, right? A joystick doesn't respond to, like, torsion. You know, a joystick is forward, backwards, shoot, shoot, shoot. But they were, like, twisting it. At one point, Boadobo was like...

1:12:34Jason Mantzoukas:all right i'm in i'm in as much as the balcony as i can physically get to that's right i'm up over here careful up there be very careful really careful not only keep in mind not only is this a balcony it is a balcony in philly yeah just keep i am right now in the balcony boxes you have a question okay your name you do or you don't i do okay your name your president, your question. Okay, I feel like if he said Jerry Springer that Judge Judy would do a good job as president. My name's Katie. My question is, do you know that the Jack City guys are from Philly? Oh, wow, really? They are, they had a they had a show on Channel 12 called Furniture on the Mend.

1:13:20They're the furniture guys. They are local treasures. And they live half a block from where they filmed a scene in Mannequin 2.

1:13:29Jason Mantzoukas:They're also in Mannequin 2! Not bad. Best balcony question we've ever gotten. I almost feel like... Well done. Great job, balcony. I almost feel like we should end the show. I mean, a woman just started dancing when that was announced. Yes. People lost their minds. Oh, boy. This guy, out of his seat. This is not going to be good. All right, let's see. Oh, wait. It might be great. He's holding something, Paul. He's holding a medallion. He's holding a double dragon medallion. Oh, my God. All right, sir. He found it! He found the Double Dragon Medallion! Sir, your name, your president, your question.

1:14:29Jason Mantzoukas:My name's Tony. My president would be Rodney Dangerfield. Great. The director of this movie, in addition to directing hundreds of music videos, also directed The Return of Bruno. Wow! Wait, Return of Bruno, that was the album. That's the Bruce Willis album. I think probably the music video. The music video for the Bruce Willis Harmonica Vanity Project. Where Bruce Willis tried to convince everybody he was a blues harmonica player. Which, as a kid, was an album I owned. And many years later, did I find out that Under the Boardwalk was not an original Bruce Willis tune.

1:15:17Jason Mantzoukas:I loved Bruno. What? I love Bruno, the return of Bruno. Were you like, hey mom, let me just put on some return of Bruno, pour you a glass of Chardonnay. Some under the boardwalk, if you know what I mean, mommy. Smooch, smooch, smooch.

1:15:42Jason Mantzoukas:I really was in for a shock that most of those were covers. Secret Agent Man. thought these were all original you thought Bruce Willis wrote under the boardwalk that would make him unquestionably the most talented person in history I mean I saw blind dates I knew Alyssa Milano Pants why did that man have a double dragon Alyssa Milano Pants is a t-shirt option it's just The Google search bar. It's the Google search bar and it's Alyssa Milano pants. Paul, last question before we move off of Alyssa Milano's pants. We're back on it. We're back on it just for one second. The character in the video game, what is she wearing?

1:16:37Jason Mantzoukas:All right, Google it up. In the video game For the nerds Is Robert Peck's character Like the boss? No What? He's not in the game Okay thank you Is anybody else in the game? This is a bobo This is the game? Yep Wow So we'll see the little story You might as well have made a movie out of Dig Dug Make me a dig dog movie Alright, hold on It's gonna start the story, hold on Alright We're picking our mode There's, okay, there's Alyssa Milano She's punched in the stomach Wait a minute Is this the Mohawk gang? Yeah Is that Bo Adobo? Bo Adobo punches Alyssa Milano in the stomach And takes her Wait, is that Alyssa Milano?

1:17:37Yes Yes, Jason. It is, okay.

1:17:39Jason Mantzoukas:And she's wearing a little red dress. Grieger. And then that's our guys. Both of these are our guys? No, just the blue guy. No, the one in blue. Okay. Can you pause, please, Paul? This is blowing my mind. The fact that this is the game is categorically insane. And now here are the two brothers fighting to the dead. The brothers fight. They're brothers. They are brothers.

1:18:19Jason Mantzoukas:He gets... He gets her out of the bed. Whoa! She's on the... What? And they start kissing. This is... What? Also, there's a cat. What's that cat doing under the table? Also, there's a cat. By the way, she looks very comfortable. Here's a couple of questions. I have questions. A, there's a cat. B, what's the vest on the hanger? Do you see the vest? What's that waiting for? She's relaxed. The cat is real. Why is the cat there? And like, what? He beats his brother to death. Then she's like, you win, I'll fuck you. Let me just put my fuck vest on. And by the way, this game has no dialogue. Not even a little bit of dialogue.

1:19:13Wait a second. I think I just heard it. It's the red vest, isn't it? It's his brother's vest, Jason. Wait a minute. That's a trophy? That vest is a death trophy? that's wild and you're telling me you're telling me that blue beats red Mark Dacascos wins every day of the week also

1:19:42Jason Mantzoukas:well in that world they also have no medallion and no power also okay fine but Alyssa Milano so she would have fucked whoever won and hearts would have come out of her head and also doesn't why not just figure out a way to live as a thruple doesn't double dragon sound like a sexual position where brothers fuck the same woman why can't they just double dragon her at the end do you guys think and i'm dead serious do you think that that cat is really red dragon yes reincarnated just watching there's something about that cat i'd like you to go back to it paul can we look at the cat I agree with June.

1:20:29The cat's a fucking pervert. Very eerie. The cat's like, okay, I'm watching, but I'm also going to lick this puss while this is happening.

1:20:37Jason Mantzoukas:By the way, that should be the shirt. Just the cat. But in the cat's eyes, you just see the red dragon. You just see your brother kissing the girl. I mean, like, that is like, the message of that is really wild. That like Oh once you beat All of the villains In order to get the woman You have to kill your brother And then fuck her While a cat watches Well you don't have to Fuck her while the cat watches The cat wants it You gotta watch Because the cat Is the actual boss Wow And I swear to God Pause for a second If that cat was on the couch I wouldn't have thought twice If that cat was Outside of the table I wouldn't have thought twice about it If that cat was on that little dresser over there, it would never have occurred to me.

1:21:27There's something about the position of that cat. Here's what I'm going to say, and I don't want to spend too much time on the game. This is a brick house. There's no way it survives the quake. There's no way the big quake happens, brick house, boom, you donezo. Guess what? Every brick house to the ground.

1:21:51Jason Mantzoukas:It's got structural foundation, we know.

1:21:57I don't even know what to make of that. This, the game, that is what the movie is, that is. I'm serious when I say like a more interesting movie could be made of joust. The game where you sit like a knight on an ostrich's back and fly around jousting people with, okay, now, do they fuck?

1:22:23Jason Mantzoukas:I just wanted to see if this was a better version of it. Nope, same thing. Just kiss, kiss, kiss. I mean, I guess now that I see what she looks like in the game, I'm happier about how she looked in the movie. Here's what my question, yeah, yeah. Here's my question, too, is when they're done, can you rewind a little bit, Paul? And so here's the thing, right? Rewind a little bit. Okay, so great, go ahead, play from here. Okay, so she's like, you did it. And he's like, yes, I killed my brother for you, right? I killed him dead. He was my brother. Smooch, smooch, smooch, right? And then they look right at us as if to say, is this what you wanted?

1:23:00They look right at the player. They look right at the player and say, you made me do this. You did this. You made a brother kill brother just for the love of this woman. And it isn't even the love of the woman. It just is like, to the victor go, the spoils? Does she have agency in this at all? Nope.

1:23:22Jason Mantzoukas:Didn't even have a say. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we obviously have an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinion. I got home, searched Amazon Prime, and I threw on Double Dragon. There's a big earthquake, juggalos roam the streets, who Alyssa Milano will find There's a medallion these bros gotta keep safe From discount Gary Oldman Was that their girlfriend or their aunt? I can't tell, but she'll die just to keep them alive Time for second opinions, gotta check Amazon Find out who gave five stars to this shit show There's bad acting and writing and who costumed this crap?

1:24:20Let's go check Amazon for a second opinion. Give it up for Molly.

1:24:34Jason Mantzoukas:Great job, Molly. Come here. All right. Here we go, people. Double Dragon, Second Opinions. These are cold from Amazon.com. There are 80 reviews for this film. Eight zero. Not many. 58 % are five-star reviews. 58%. But they're all very personal. This one written by Al Forno writes, I love this movie. I'm sorry. Five stars. And then this one's written by T. Lejour. He goes, love this movie. I was there during some of the filming in Cleveland. I got to meet everyone but Robert Patrick, who's from Cleveland. Five stars. This one's interesting from Guillaume B. Pro. He writes, excellent. Sorry about the delay of my comment.

1:25:29Jason Mantzoukas:Five stars. So if you were waiting on him to finally get around, yeah, sorry about the delay. I didn't mean to keep you waiting. I've been meaning to put this comment up, but my apologies to everybody. I know you've been expecting it. This one is interesting. This is from Holosuite at yahoo.com.au. I love this DVD. You probably think I'm wacko, but I've never seen prequels or sequels or video games. This is my first experience of Double Dragon. For me, it's an hour and 36 minutes of escapism and light entertainment. The props, the lighting, the setting, the costumes are a spectacle to watch on an 84 centimeter television.

1:26:16Jason Mantzoukas:Whoa. Five stars. Honestly, is that like this big? 84 centimeters? Isn't that very small? This one is written by Suleyem, and he writes, please send me all of the movies of Bruce Lee. I live in San Diego. My address is 9 the point of Coronado Canyon. My zip is 92118. My home number is 6915184715. Thank you. This person does not know how Amazon works. If they think that's how you order videos on Amazon, is you go to the Double Dragon comment section and say, please send me all of Bruce Lee's movies. Here's my address. Jason, June, obviously those people love the movie. Would you recommend that people see this film?

1:27:14It's funny. I, of course, did not like the movie. But I didn't struggle through watching it. And that's a lot for me. That's a lot, yeah. It really does. So for a movie like this.

1:27:28Jason Mantzoukas:Especially considering the fact that before we started, the last thing I want to do is watch a movie called Double Dragon right now. Yes, and it was. But I saw Alyssa Milano. I saw those pants. I saw some things that I liked and it was absurd and it was absurd in the way I think that they were intending for young audiences with the theater backdrop and the absurd props and all of that stuff and gumballs I love that trope where people who are fighting in movies they never just stop and let the gumballs go by they just continue to run on top of gumballs just stop and let them all find their resting point Was there a time when small round balls was a weapon of choice for anybody?

1:28:11You would think how often it's used in movies that it would be one of our main tactics for unsettling the enemy is just to loose round balls on them.

1:28:23Jason Mantzoukas:That's why the American troops were able to storm the beaches at Normandy because the balls just got stuck in the sand. Really? Yeah. That's true? That's true. The forces were just pouring big marbles down the hill. Paul knows a lot about history, so that probably... That tracks. Jason, what do you think? Oh, yeah. I would watch this. This is, again, I don't remember having watched it. Yeah. So I don't know. I can't... It's one of those things that it's like when you take Ambien and you don't remember that you made a turkey sandwich. Yeah. like somehow this movie does that to you where i woke up and i was like how did i get here what's going on okay i don't remember it i couldn't tell you much about it it seemed fun again colors shapes movement all that stuff it's got it in spades i would i would say especially for this project of watching it for the podcast absolutely it's not tedious it's not awful it doesn't wear but it's welcome.

1:29:27It doesn't feel too long.

1:29:29Jason Mantzoukas:I even have a more full-throated recommendation. I think this movie is so fun and so bizarre and so weird. It has every trope of the movies that we watch on this show, but they're all together, and it's shorter and less tedious than all those other ones. You've got elements of everything in here. It's so weird. No choice really makes sense. and it has this effect where none of us are quite sure what we watched or what the plot was. Yeah, I'm not sure. And we still enjoyed it. So a full-throated recommendation, Double Dragon forever. Make a sequel now. Yes. Like, make a sequel, make a direct sequel that is, like, use Mark and Alyssa and Scott now and have them still be, have it be new.

1:30:21Jason Mantzoukas:Make it in 2009 and then go. That's interesting. A big thank you to you, Philadelphia. Philly Ace! You've been an amazing... You fucking did it, Philly. An amazing crowd. Thank you for having us. One of the best crowds we've had on this tour. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You did it, Philly. That's right. Get out there. Do it up, Philly. All right. Thank you, Philadelphia. You guys were amazing, and we did catch our train, and we did get to go home. Let me tell you about the shirt that we designed for this show. It's one of my favorite ones. We didn't talk about it explicitly, but it is What the Cat Saw.

1:31:01Jason Mantzoukas:It is an amazing shirt that calls back the Double Dragon game, and it's basically the cat watching one of the brothers make love to the Alyssa Milano character from the video game. It's one of our best-selling shirts, and people hadn't even seen the episode. So definitely head over to tpublic.com slash stores slash HDTGM to check that out. A big thanks to Devin, our engineer who is live in Philadelphia and saved us from near doom with those audio issues. My God. Whoa. Rough one. Also, a big tip of the hat to our producer, Averill Halley, who pulled all of those amazing movies for this tour. She's fantastic.

1:31:40Jason Mantzoukas:You can follow her on Movie Bitches on YouTube and all the other social media sites. A big tip of the hat to Cody, who is also our producer here in L.A. And I also want to give a warm and generous thanks to Nate Kiley, who does all of our research, and Kyle Waldron, who does all of our amazing design. We have an amazing team, everybody here at Earwolf. And if you want to continue this conversation about Double Dragon, please give me a call for the mini episode next week. It's 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K. That's 619-PAUL-ASK. You don't have to just ask about the movie. You can talk about anything you want.

1:32:14Jason Mantzoukas:We've been getting into fantastic conversations on our mini episodes. Love, relationship, job, advice, whatever you want. We will tackle it each and every week on the mini episode. Take a listen in and we will be playing a deleted scene about Alyssa Milano's pants on that episode as well. So tune in for next week's mini episode where we tell you the movie that we are going to talk about the week following that. But we will also get into your comments, concerns and questions all about Double Dragon. We will see you next time on How Did This Get Made? How Did This Get Made? confidence it's listening to your gut it's moving forward even when the path ahead is unclear for nearly 160 years pacific life has helped people keep their promises building confidence for generations whether you're confident in your financial future or just beginning to envision it we're here to help ask a financial professional how pacific life the power of a promise pacific life insurance company omaha nebraska and in new york pacific life and annuity phoenix arizona The Disney Plus Hulu HBO Max Bundle.

1:33:14Jason Mantzoukas:The best in entertainment in one bundle. This month, stream Disney and Pixar's blockbuster family favorite, Hoppers on Disney Plus. This is incredible! FX's critically acclaimed The Bear, Season 5 on Hulu. Everything's either gonna be okay or not. And Season 3 of the HBO original series, House of the Dragon on HBO Max. You have power within your cross. Get the Disney Plus Hulu HBO Max Bundle today. All of these and more streaming soon. Plans starting at$19.99 a month. Terms apply. Visit DisneyPlusHuluMaxBundle.com for details.