Expend4bles LIVE! w/ Jessica St. Clair

20:57Jason Mantzoukas:you know what is a golden shower? It is like a woman. She squats down on top of you and releases her bladder. It's very liberating. Wow, a world-class pervert. You know what is a golden shower? You look like the type who has had one before. I'm cutting these losers. I had too much of this. Two in time, time for music. So that is those guys. I bet you they were like improvised about golden showers. And then he had to humiliate himself like that. He's like everybody knows what it is my age but I'm going to have to force myself to do this scene. Nobody's giving him anything. No, because they don't want to be a part of it.

21:38They don't want to do this scene. They're trying to disappear into the scenery. Trying not to be there with him. Oh, and he is just hung out to dry. And he's selling it. God bless He has kind of a Puss in Boots type of Antonio Banderas feel. He has a Puss in Boots?

21:57Jason Mantzoukas:Yeah, he does have a Puss in Boots vibe. He does. Now, let me ask you this. And by the way, I would have loved to have seen Puss in Boots as part of the Expendables team. Thank you. Oh. With his sword. I would love it if animated characters made their way into the Expendables. Yeah. Like, if it's, but Puss in Boots is almost too young and cute. Meet this guy, my friend Roger. Roger Rabbit. We got a new big guy, and it's just like Foghorn Leghorn. I say, I say, I say. You've been sitting on that impression the entire tour. All tour, the whole time I've been like, when do I get to break out my Foghorn Leghorn?

22:39Jason Mantzoukas:New member of the team. No, don't freak out, guys. I know you used to be a bad guy. Skeletor? God damn it. We tried to kill you before. Hey, buddy. I was drinking back then. All right, Skeletor, you're part of the team. I'd like to hear what Dolph Lundgren has to say about Skeletor. Oh, right! Right? Wasn't he He-Man? Yes. Dolph Lundgren continues to be the shining light in this franchise as well. He ages perfectly. His character has an arc. He goes from not drinking and being shitty to drinking again and being great. I mean, a movie that makes you cheer for someone to break their sobriety so that they can commit wanton acts of murder.

23:20His eyesight gets better when drinking. You know, I feel like, you know how colleges in the beginning of feminism had like women's studies classes where we would look at, you know, different texts and everything. I feel like maybe there should be a man studies where this would be a text. that we would start breaking down. I agree with St. Clair. Men are important and need to be studied. They need to be studied. I'm serious.

23:49Jason Mantzoukas:Men's studies need to happen. Mandatory. We need to understand why. I agree with Jessica. Men. Right? But you know what? I think you're right about the idea of a certain brain is going to... Yeah, study them. Like when they go, how's it hanging? Oh, gravity hit. Yeah, or like... Gravity's always been at play with balls. Here's an entire semester is on Stallone's ring. Yes! Like, why do men like skull rings? What's up with... Why is his finger that thick? Because we see it... Well, I mean, look, it's on the double-double photo one. It's on a dick. You can't have thin fingers. That's a thick... Yeah, that's why.

24:37The reason is because at the very least, your fingers need to be dick-sized. Now, who was... Because that's a man. But who was the genius who did just the tip right here? Yeah. That guy's an unsung hero in the department. And I love that they were like, we got to spin that bottle around because we can't show that label. We can't show that label.

24:57Jason Mantzoukas:The double-sided dildo is next to a tip jar that says just the tip. But then we see it again. This is in picture three. This is again. All right, so there it is. So this is a bar where they have a desiccated human hand. Is that a mummy? Like an Egyptian mummy? That is meant to be. I mean, we now know because of the end of the movie whose hand it is. We thought for most of the movie it was Stallone's hand. No, that's not the hand, though. That's the hand. He found it. Yeah, picture two. No, because when we saw it, it was all gelatinous. No, here it is. Well, you dried out on the trip home. Well, yeah, they dried it out.

25:39Jason Mantzoukas:Picture 2, Beth, if you have it. No, that shit was like a puddle of... There it is. It's that hand. You think they hacked it off, dried it like jerky... Yes. ...and fashioned it like this... Yes. ...and then put a ring on it? I don't think that. I know that. That's what brothers do. Brothers will cut off your hand and bring it home to the bar. To the bar! Did somebody strip off the extra skin? No, it's dried off. No, it burned off. It burned off when he was a gelatinous goo monster. There. I love it. I love it. He's got the... I love... What's the guy's name who it is? Jumbo Shrimp. Jumbo Shrimp.

26:18I love when he picks Jumbo Shrimp out of the extra room, throws him in the thing, and still in jumps out. And then Jumbo Shrimp wakes up. I was like, I thought for sure he was dead.

26:28Jason Mantzoukas:And what was Jumbo Shrimp's crime? Yeah. Yeah. For being small. I mean, Jumbo Shrimp won. Justice for Jumbo Shrimp. Yes. Justice for Jumbo Shrimp. I want to do a whole semester on Jumbo Shrimp and how men treat smaller men. This is all we know. All we know about Jumbo Shrimp is that Stallone had a thumb war with Jumbo Shrimp, which Jumbo Shrimp won legitimately. They're in square. And then he was going to go back there to beat the shit out of him to get it back. And then they beat the shit out of him, and then he kills him. Jumbo Shrimp, not a mercenary, just a guy that likes to drink at the tainted spoke.

27:14And it's not bad enough that Statham brass knuckles Jumbo Shrimp's whole crew, like just demolishing every jaw in the house. I had a question about brass knuckles, if I may. Yeah. Is it cool to use them without telling the person? Like, I felt like there must be, it's like, it seems like kind of a dick move.

27:37Jason Mantzoukas:You've got to tell people. You have to declare brass knuckles before you hit. You think in a bar fight you need to give a heads up as to what you might have? Well, like, is that, is it fair? I mean, that's gentlemanly. I mean, is it fair? I used to fight with rolls of quarters in my hand. Is that true, Paul? That is true. Oh. Here comes another chapter. of sadness. Because you would get... What the fuck, Paul? You had rolls of quarters? Yeah, you get a$10 roll of quarters and you put it in your palms, then punch somebody in the face. That's fucked up, Paul. That's so fucked up. Pennies are cheaper, someone said.

28:16Jason Mantzoukas:Thank you. And also, not only that, you can do your laundry. Exactly. Boom. But no, I didn't... I wondered, because I thought to myself, huh, is it cooler to see Jason Statham actually kicked the shit out of them with sans brass knuckles. Yeah. Well, I... Just a question. It's moments like this, I agree. For the street fighters out there. I know there are some. In San Francisco? I don't think so. Yeah, we've got a lot of librarians and a lot of street fighters in the audience. We've got a lot of sales force executives here. Yeah. I don't know that they're fighting in the streets. Well, the way that they fight is with enterprising solutions.

28:56Jason Mantzoukas:now i've seen a lot of faces out here a lot of you've been at the excel championship it's pretty cool um here's the thing i want to say about uh statham he seemingly gets younger with every movie like he looks better in four than he even he looked in one but um you're right like he does fight unfairly jumbo shrimp is killed but here's the thing that when we landed on the way to the mini golf place today i did google and did research to back it up on the plane that they are flying that propeller cargo plane yeah from new orleans to libya that is a 30 plus hour flight with multiple stops for gas at least seven stops for gas yep so that means that jumbo shrimp was in the shitter for 30 hours, and no one else in that crew took a piss?

29:55Yeah.

29:56Jason Mantzoukas:And on top of that, they all geared up. They all geared up, and then they stayed in that gear for 30 fucking hours? Yeah. They're like, I'm going to put on my flak jacket. Wear some PJs, some soft shoes. Yeah. Get comfy in there. Get in your skims, baby, because that's a long flight. Yeah, so he was in the bathroom the entire, time. Yeah. I mean, like, none of it makes end up. But again, I didn't think about Jumbo Shrimp. Once we're done with him, I'm on to something else. Because he's not a character in the movie. I'm not worried about him. Honestly, though, Jumbo Shrimp, somehow, inexplicably, for someone who is in two brief scenes, has more of a footprint in this movie than 50 Cent.

30:41Which is devastating, because 50 Cent is so good, and so fantastic, I think so fantastic, that I was like, oh, nice, 50 Cent is here, and then he does nothing.

30:52Jason Mantzoukas:The coolest thing about 50 Cent is a scene that he's not in, but you think it would be funny if he is in it, which is when they just put his song on a truck on this boat to attack. I would have loved it if, because that's, I mean, come on. It's so nuts to play his song diegetically in the movie. That's crazy. So that he can hear it. I would have loved it if he was in that scene and somebody had been like, hey, this is your song. I would love it if they were like... I want it to be like, this is 50 Cent. Yes! Do you remember that video? Or if he's behind the thing spinning his beats or whatever.

31:29Look, sure. Anything's possible. 50 Cent doesn't spin his own beats, Jess. You sound like an idiot in San Francisco.

31:37Jason Mantzoukas:I agreed with her. But do you remember that video game? I love this video game. I think it was called, like, Def Jam. It was like Def Jam meets Mortal Kombat. so it was like all the Def Jam characters would fight. You could have just said, oh yeah, we took that version of 50 Cent and we put him in the Expendables. We don't need reasoning. Oh, he's a seal. Who gives a fuck? You could put seal in the movie. Oh, I would have loved it. I would have loved it if seal had been in this movie. Or, for you guys, E-40. Right? Just ghost riding the whip? I will say the biggest villain in this movie is green screen.

32:17Jason Mantzoukas:because this entire movie is shot in warehouses, parking lots, and windowless rooms. Yeah. I mean, a boat. And all outdoor scenes are green screen, all driving, all that. Well, the worst green screen moment, and this is going way to the end, and I also think would be great for the men's studies class I'm going to teach, is when Megan Fox, you know, says something like, what, and he just goes, never mind. and never mind equals I love you. Yeah. And that kind of reading in between the lines is the subtle kind of dialogue that we're meant to unpack. Oh yeah. And instead of doing that I'm thinking is this the shittiest green screen I've ever seen.

33:07It looks like if I went to the Harry Potter exhibit and I'm like I'm flying. And I buy it. There's a bunch of flying stuff that looks like a flight simulator from 1994. Yeah, like you go to the NASA shuttle in Houston, and you're like, we're landing it. And that's$100 million fucking dollars. You should be ashamed of yourself.

33:30Jason Mantzoukas:The moment that I was most offended by with the green screen is they cut to Dolph Lundgren sniping. Clearly, he's not in a field. They just put some plants in front of him. He's on a green screen. They're like, this is the easiest shot to get. It's a tight on his face. Just put him outside the studio in a bunch of grass. We'll buy it. They fucking put him on a green screen. This is, fuck you, movie. Like, this is not. Everything feels so cheap. All the visual effects are cheap. All the sets look like something that HGTV just made. You know what I mean? And it's like, it's everything somehow seems to, the only unlimited budget on this movie was, I think, for neon.

34:13because every set has so much neon going on.

34:17Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, this movie takes place in two locations. A parking lot in the beginning where the bad guy lives. It looks like, oh, we found this set in Bulgaria because if you look off to the side of the screen, it's like a main street. And I was like, shit, did they just shoot this on a back lot? And they go, that's the villain's lair. And then the other one is just the boat. And then the other time it's in the airplane hangar. Like, there really aren't in many locations. They do in this movie the same number of missions, like each component of the mission to find out the thing that would normally take place in act one of another movie.

34:54This movie, that's the whole movie. So by the end of it, I was like, whoa, shouldn't the movie start now?

35:00Jason Mantzoukas:Yeah. Well, by the way, speaking about the movie starting, one of the things that, and this is a Stallone thing, and I know it, and I have some facts to give you in a second, but the movie opens with this scene where this bad guy's lair is getting compromised, right, whatever, fuck that. Then that ends, and then all of a sudden we cut to Stallone putting on his fucking ring, getting on his hog, and leaving. P.S., close up of those jeans. He's cuffing them just like, you're cuffing just like Stallone, baby. He's my style hero. You gotta cuff those pants. Cuff those pants. Yeah, he cuffs those pants.

35:45I'm telling you. All of Stallone's jokes, too, are like, oh, wait, it looks like he's got a dead cat on his head. That's funny, right? That's funny, right? He's got a dead cat on his head.

36:00Jason Mantzoukas:Hey, take a Xanax. Take a Xanax and then pretend you're okay. Analyze this. But then he drives off. and you're like, huh, where the opening scene should have been, it should have been hard cut to Statham in that fight. Knock, knock, knock, right? Because it's like, but we have to establish Stallone. Imagine if the cold open had been the mission where Stallone dies. Yeah. That's how the movie should start. That's the inciting incident. We don't need all this gibberish, and that's where I was like, that's where I felt like the beginning of the movie was servicing somehow what had happened at the end of the last, so that it's, oh, it makes sense.

36:39he's trying to collect everybody and get them back together. Nope, who cares? Apparently I'm being told none of this is related to the past movies, so I feel fucking burned by this.

36:49Jason Mantzoukas:But then we get this scene, this scene that is like, it's like Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. You know, there's two power... This is not unspooled. Clip one, here, this is clip one. This is the Fox, Megan Fox. This is tough as a woman to watch. These are some tough themes coming out Okay, take a look Again, of how men see women I know that I think it has something to do with comms But doesn't it look like Stallone is some sort of Frankenstein? With two bolts in it Yeah, it does It does I'm alive Can we play clip one, Beth? By the way, worst shot, terrible shot Terrible They don't even shoot on a street because when they open the door it's the screen screen that's like hey bird can you pause for a second now think about it think of how long he's been alive he knows you can't see in you can't job you can't you can't do that why would you look in like that if anything go to the side and look in a window look in the people first of all That's the point of the people that you can't see in.

38:08Jason Mantzoukas:I would say that most people know you can't see in, but he should definitely know because his job is recon and surveillance. They are dog shit. And let me be clear, the Expendables are bad. I know, but they're so cute. But they are so cute. Except for Statham, every single one of them gets captured immediately on every mission. That's true. This episode is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. Banking, investing, borrowing, and more. Make your first move with SoFi Checking and Savings. Earn up to 3.80 % savings APY for up to six months, no account fees, plus a cash bonus up to$400 when you sign up with eligible direct deposit.

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40:52you were going to track me with your knife. That was my big... Your big plan was to get caught, compromise the entire mission, and wait for one man to come and save you? What's so embarrassing about that is if the bad guys in the movie, Andy Garcia, Ocelot, and the rest of the Salesforce team, knew what they were doing, they would just kill the Expendables the minute they get there. Oh, here are the Expendables. We trapped them. Done.

41:22Jason Mantzoukas:movie over game over by the way I do love the first briefing Andy Garcia comes in alright guys here's the mission peace and I was like wow if that's a cameo I'm down but he also seemed as if he was reading off of cue cards he was phoning that shit in he was like how do I say this Russian town got it one take I'm out sorry guys Garcia out By the way, I mean, thank God he's here. Oh, I love it. Thank God he's here adding some sort of gravitas to this. But then the second time we see Andy Garcia before he puts on his beret is this moment where he's like, all right, now here's the other mission. Now I'm going to give it to team leader.

42:12Jason Mantzoukas:Megan Fox goes, well, now I'm going to tell you what's up. And then they throw it to this woman who we've never met. and she looks like she came out of Salesforce. And you're like, who is she? And why is she in the secret lair? And why does she even need to be there? Why do three people need to say, go here, get this guy, steal the nuke? That was it. Now, was she, was that woman who looked like my Spanish teacher in seventh grade, was she in all the other movies? No. Is she like the Q or the M or whoever that? The gray-haired lady? Okay, that looked to me like a Kate McKinnon character. Yes. Yeah.

42:45I was like, what is this person up to? And again, in my notes, I'm like, this person must be baked in since the first movie. Yeah, like when you go to Judi Dench in the Bond movies or whatever. But she's not? This is a new character? That's crazy.

42:58Jason Mantzoukas:But by the way, it's like, why do you need three people? Even the writing is fat. It's like, yeah, oh, and throw it to this next person. Are they too worried that people will get confused or lose interest? Like, ah, we can't have them talk for more than half a page. We'll lose the audience. I mean, in a lot of ways, I am the audience. I am their target audience in that I'm still confused. Well, you're the audience in the sense that you watched the movie. Yeah, that is true. No, but, like, I'm as dumb as the people there in terms of plot. I'm listening. I really am. I'm simple when it comes to this stuff.

43:35I don't really pay attention. Oh, you're straight up dumb. I am. I'm not paying attention, you know, really. And I'm still confused. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, we're all still confused.

43:45Jason Mantzoukas:You are? Oh, I'm confused. I mean, I'm confused. And then I do love, this is clip 10, Andy Garcia going, all right, just in case you didn't know, here's the entire plot. I'll scream act it. One take. This monologue is worthy of something. Not an Academy Award, though. Clip 10. We're needing that anymore. At Christmas, you're like genital warts. who's showing up on what you're not wanting and refusing to go away you got something i need can you pause it for a second beth i can't understand and we're gonna i want to i want to go back and start i want to go back and start it for a second because i really want you to notice how much andy garcia is projecting screaming yelling and then when it cuts to statham how he is talking as if the person who needs to hear him is next to him.

44:40Okay. Idiot again.

44:42Jason Mantzoukas:We started again. Christmas, you're like genital warts. Who's showing up on what you're not wanted and refusing to go away? You got something I need, Marsh. I'm coming down to get it. I guess you figured out that this device right here is the only thing preventing World War III, a conflict that won't devastating for many. It'll be insanely, insanely, insanely profitable for somebody. And that's somebody. This is crazy to me. And the Expendables will take all the blood. Even Statham's like, are you done? So, enjoy the show. Great, we don't need any more. That, the amount of, he yelled the entire plot.

45:26Oh, I mean, poor Andy Garcia. I feel like they were like, we just need one that's bigger, bigger. and he was like, I'll do it, but don't use it. I've given you so many that are easier to understand. And this guy...

45:43He's supposed to be the big villain. And he's like...

45:48Jason Mantzoukas:And he grabs his dick. Why does he grab his dick? He's obsessed with it because at a certain point he goes like this. He goes, we talked about how's it hanging? Gravity. And then he goes, keep him tucked. Keep him tucked. Keep him tucked. Is that something men say to other men? I've never heard anyone say, keep them tucked. Keep them tucked is what he says to Statham, I think. I don't remember that, and I don't care for it. Jesus, keep them tucked. Keep them tucked. Keep them tucked, though I believe is the Salesforce motto. Salesforce, keep them tucked. Except, except, except we all know it's Salesforce, keep them fucked.

46:26Yeah, baby. I was confused. I don't know what they do. When he throws that, he says, like, this is the device that could stop the bomb. And then, okay. Throws it overboard. I thought he was saying, like, having this is good, like, is valuable.

46:44Jason Mantzoukas:Well, I think that he wants... He's basically... Okay, I can tell. Oh, yeah, okay, all right, great. Do you want me to tell you what it is? Yes. So his plan is to start World War III. Why? So it will be profitable for him and the other Musk-type villains. Why will they make money off of that? It's him. It's Salesforce. It's Musk. It's all the billionaires. It's all the billionaires. Defund the billionaires. Yeah.

47:18So he's saying this device is the only thing that can stop the bomb from blowing up. So I'm throwing that overboard to make sure the bomb blows up. And when it blows up, we're meant to believe that who did it? Why is this going to start World War III? They have falsely are flying an American flag on this thing so that it looks like... I didn't notice any of this. And they're going to bomb Russia? I think they're going to hit Russia with an American ship nuke. This is right. Couldn't care less. Right? Oh, to be clear, it does not matter what inch... But I missed all of it. I missed all of it. I'm worried about my cognitive ability.

47:56No, no, no, no. I am worried. No, no, no.

47:58Jason Mantzoukas:All you need to know is like, when I watch a movie like this, I'm like, stop the nuclear warhead from going off. There's a great, there's this podcast, Light the Fuse, which I love. They've been doing these back, like these histories of Mission Impossible. And they were trying to create this really elaborate backstory for Mission Impossible, the ghost protocol. And they've been working for months. And Tom Cruise goes, what if he's just stealing nukes? And they're like, what? And he's like, Easy to understand. Around the world, they all get it. Nukes, bad. That's what they should do. They're like, all right.

48:33Jason Mantzoukas:And that was the plot. And by the way, it's great. Yeah, you get it. By the way, nukes are bad. These movies are very Mission Impossible coded. Yeah. You know, with like Andy Garcia as the Alec Baldwin as the... All you need to know is like, bad guys have nukes. Good guys stop bad guys. Like the intricacies, they're not getting into global politics. But the movie can't quite cut the things together in the right way because they're cutting tonally between scenes in which, like, Stallone and Statham are joking around in the plane about golden showers and all this stuff. But they're cutting to the scene in Libya where, is his name Iko Ways, right?

49:15Yeah, Iko Ways. The guy from The Raid and those movies, Slotmaster. he is murdering children women and children in order to get the detonators that's tough and i was like this is hard to cut back and forth between these jokes that stallone's doing an

49:33Jason Mantzoukas:infanticide we just saw a double-headed dildo and then we watch a child get shot off screen that's tough the child who's just seen his mother get killed who's just like that's tough now i will say where i was so upset at the end was garcia gives that very impassioned monologue he's like come down here we'll fight and you're like all right we're gonna get like a garcia statham fight nope just killed no he's shot by stallone but i'm like but here's the thing like still okay will you stand up for a minute right there stallone you i'm statham you're andy garcia This is the kind of thing I'll have in my studies class.

50:14People acting things out like this. Stallone is out there. He shoots, he cuts Andy Garcia in half with like a.50 cal gun. And Statham is right here. Every bullet would be like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Statham should have died so many times in this movie. He seemed shocked, actually, that he wasn't dead. And right after, he's like, what the fuck was that?

50:37Jason Mantzoukas:I wish he was covered with blood and viscera, though. It would have been like, oh, you got Garcia on me. I mean, honestly, I think the worst thing that happened in this movie is that Stallone died. Because once he died, fake died, I was so sad. Because what I was loving about it was the repartee, the jaunty, the chemistry. You know, the he said, she said of it all. Will they or won't they? Wait, wait, wait. Of Stallone and Stallone? Stallone and Statham, yes! But they're brothers. They're brothers. But it could be a white lotus. Would you? It could be a white lotus where they jerk each other off.

51:21Maybe, maybe this movie could have been better if they all jerked each other off. Yes! Agreed. I'm just saying.

51:29Jason Mantzoukas:Grab the chef. I'm just saying. And Stallone famously said, tickle the balls, grab the chef. Yes. Which, you guys don't know that story? Google that when you get home. Alright, so here's some things that might hurt your vision of the brothers. This was originally supposed to be a spin-off film for Jason Statham. A Hobbs and Shaw scenario? It was supposed to be called A Christmas Story. I love it. I love it. I love this movie. Alright, so... And let me guess. Let me just hazard a guess. would Sly let him get away with it? Nope. And I'll tell you how that went down in one second. So there were three spinoffs.

52:14Jason Mantzoukas:A Christmas Story, The Expendables, an all-female Expendables. Hot. Woke. Expendables is too woke. So it was supposed to feature an all-female cast, but it was shelved because they just decided to add more women to Expendables 4. Right. But don't let them actually say or do anything. And every time they do say something, be like, the stupid dumb bitch.

52:49I loved the martial arts fight. Ooh, that was hot. I don't know what her weapon is called, but that thing was incredible. Her and Tony Jaa teaming up, nice work, loved it. Loved that.

53:03Jason Mantzoukas:So this is the timeline of this film. 2014, Expendables 3 comes out. It is a failure. All right, but producers go, we will return the series to its greatness and we're gonna bring it back to an R rating because Expendables 3 went to PG-13. Oh. So then Stallone goes in 2016, this is gonna be the final film of the series. It's gonna come out in 2018. then in 2017 Stallone leaves the franchise due to creative differences over the script and the direction of the franchise then a year later Schwarzenegger calls up Stallone and goes buddy you gotta go back to the Expendables so then Stallone's like alright I will so they hire a new screenwriter and then Then they get back the original director, and everything now comes along, but they edge out, or they take the script of Christmas Story, and they put Stallone in it.

54:10Jason Mantzoukas:I see. Bookend him in it. Now, this movie has been plagued with terrible casting problems. Pierce Brosnan stated that he agreed to be the villain, and no one called him back. Wait, what? He met with the producers, agreed to it, and then no one called him. What? The Expendables movie ghosted Pierce Brosnan? What? And I just got a thing that's a visual, and it's Stallone's phone, and it's just a Pierce Brosnan text that just says, You up? No reply. Now, I guess the reason why they didn't call him back is because Stallone had his sights on pulling a person out of retirement. And that person, Jack Nicholson.

55:06Jason Mantzoukas:This movie came out in 2023. Is this for the Andy Garcia world? Yes. Okay, okay, okay. So I guess Stallone's like, we're going to get Jack back. Jack, at this point, I haven't seen Jack stand up. No. Like, he would end up looking like that gelatinous dude. just put a bunch of sunglasses on him. I'll be honest. I didn't see many of these dudes stand up. No. This is a mostly sitting movie. Let's be clear. The team of Expendables is two hot young women and a bunch of over 80-year-old men that don't take off their shirts. Thank God. I know. Except for Jason Statham, who does and looks great. I love that Jason Statham isn't jacked.

55:52Jason Mantzoukas:Oh, yeah. I love that. He's got the great body. Also, can I, I know everyone's waiting for me to weigh in on the amount of chest hair that Statham has. And I'm going to say something. I know I said all the hair or none of the hair. But Jason. Perfect amount. Yeah. I noticed that too. Perfect amount. And I even thought to myself, I bet hair and makeup was in there and they just did a light trim. Just a light dusting. They took a little bit off the top. Wait, you like that? You like something that's... No, no, this is specific. With clippers? He looked great. He's a swimmer. He has a hairless body.

56:32Jason Mantzoukas:You want to clipper him down? No, I think they did just a little bit. They did a subtle job. Like a number two? No, they're going in with hand shears. Oh, they're going in with what? Like cuticle scissors? Yes. You think they're hitting with cuticles? Yes. Absolutely not. Yes, they are. Because it was a perfect amount. You're not going to get lost in it. No. You know, but there's not nothing. Because nothing on him would have not been right. That's not the guy in the streets. He actually looks more muscular with the little hair there because it covers up. Agreed, Paul. Agreed. So now I just want to go down.

57:07Jason Mantzoukas:Look, as a bald man, I love seeing a bald man out there with a little hairy chest. I like the whole thing. Just a little bit of something. We got to let men be hairy, everybody. What are we doing? I'd love to take a couple of cheers to you. When I'm teaching my masculinity class for the men's study program that Jessica St. Clair specifically started, not my idea, hers, a feminist idea if ever I've heard one, for there to be a men's studies course that I will be teaching here at Stanford. I am going to sign up for this class, the two of you on either side of the classroom teaching simultaneously.

57:49Jason Mantzoukas:All right, so I just want to go through this list because this list is insane. Yeah. So he wants Jack Nicholson, who, and by the way, God bless, he's an older gentleman. He seemed like he had a hard enough time just saying, ladies and gentlemen, Paul McCartney in the SNL 50. I'm glad that he was there. It was awesome. I don't want him in a night shoot. I don't want to put a heavy gun on this man. We don't. Do you know what I'm doing? That'd be it for him. That'd be a wrap on Jack. So when he said no, Stallone's like, all right, I got my number two, Clint Eastwood. Clint Eastwood said no. Then he's like, I got my number three, Kurt Russell.

58:30Jason Mantzoukas:Kurt Russell said no. I'm busy doing Santa Claus three. Then he goes, I got my fourth, Carl Weathers. Carl Weathers says no. Oh, that's a bummer. Then he goes to Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan says, no. Wow. Then The Rock says, I'll play the villain. Because he says yes to everything. The Rock? And then Ron Perlman's like, I'll be the villain in this. But instead, Stallone goes to his friend Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan? Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan? Who's Hulk Hogan? Hulk Hogan. So then he's in talks to play the villain. Wait, the owner of Gawker?

59:26Jason Mantzoukas:And then he falls out. But then Jean-Claude Van Damme says, well, I'll come back and play. Has he already been in it? Yes. Oh. I'll come back and play my twin brother. Fuck yeah. The only answer should have been yes. A thousand times yes. And the first movie, I believe his name is Claude Villain. And he pitched a character called Gene Villain. He gets it. He gets it. That's cute. I mean, to be clear, he doesn't get it. And then, of course, Andy Garcia. They must have backed up a truck of money to Andy Garcia. I'm serious. For him to say yes to this. I'm surprised we weren't asked to be villains by this point.

1:00:12Jason Mantzoukas:But all the people that they said no to. But it also is odd because Pierce Brosnan wouldn't make sense. I guess you would be like, well, he's British. It seems very much like Americans want to start World War III. So that would also make Jackie Chan a little suspect. You'd have to rejigger the entire plot. My guess is that they didn't even have a script at this point. They were just trying to lock in as many old people as they could. With all Expendables, what they do is they find an old script and they just slap Expendables on it. I heard Hume Cronin was in for a while. This script was originally titled High Value Target.

1:00:57Jason Mantzoukas:And, I mean, it's so crazy. It was a script that Millennium Films found. They go, this is a movie for Jason Statham called High Value Target. Then it becomes, no, we'll make it a spinoff of Expendables with Jason Statham. Then they're like, no, actually we'll just make it Expendables 4 with the entire team. But yet none of the plot or story changed from High Value Target. That's crazy. so it's like it is bargain bin filmmaking oh it is and it's so cheap so did you earlier before we came out did I hear you say the budget was a hundred million dollars that's just all actors fees or maybe it's all the explosion it's all actors fees because it's not on the screen he's definitely getting 20 plus easy Well, that's why he's putting himself in the movie, because he needs that payday.

1:01:51Jason Mantzoukas:Well, I do want to, before we go out to the audience, we'll go out there in a second. I do want to see when Statham, I think, does a nod to his own character in The Transporter when he plays a private security guard for a streamer. This is a crazy movie. This is insane. Clip six. What's up, motherfuckers? I'm here at my Nola pad live streaming to you at home. This is a party one at Jack McClick. Bring a little something into your pathetic little lives. Oh, look at these no bitches. Which one, no bitches, two am I going to fuck after? Hi, have some respect for the ladies. I am live streaming here.

1:02:29You guys believe this shit? Look at this guy.

1:02:32Jason Mantzoukas:Who does this motherfucker think he is? Oh, we spend the lives. Pause it for one second. What I got obsessed with was watching the comments. Someone goes, he's hot. And then someone looks, I bet he has a big dick. I mean, they put an eggplant emoji there. Do you know there was a moment where they were like, holy shit, you know what we can do? We can put the chat. We can just put jokes in here. It's talking. What are you talking about? How about golden showers? More golden showers. Diego Silvero. Who dat? All right, continue this again. Get off my balls. Fuck you. Bring it up. Do you know how much money I make up for you?

1:03:15Jason Mantzoukas:I think I'm pregnant. God damn, he's hot. My favorite part, though, is later in the movie, when Statham gets onto the pirate boat that is across the world from this scene, the pirates are watching this video. Yeah. What a missed opportunity for him to go kick their asses and they'd be like, whoa! Whoa! It's the guy! I also like that the logic there is that, well, you know, it was an American, It was live, but Edo and where they are at, it's different times. Yeah. Streaming is different. You know, it doesn't do the whole thing. And I did love that that boat seemingly was filled with, what, 100 ,000 people?

1:04:01Jason Mantzoukas:Yeah. Yeah. That all hid perfectly. Yeah. I mean, they have a motorcycle chase on a boat. That is a question I had. In a way that's like cat and mouse. they're hiding why would a boat like that have so many motorcycles also why in order to get through a boat you have to go through doors that like have a like are sealable yeah like a porthole but when he goes up to the row of motorcycles it literally looked like a city bike like when you would like put your credit card in I was like why why a fleet of motorcycles in the ocean just a bunch of bird scooters Yes! But you know what? Again, for my men's studies, men love motorcycles.

1:04:49I guess that's something they have to have. Motorcycles and guns. They have to have the cycle wherever they are. Motorcycles and guns, yeah. They just have to. And imagine if they'd had those motorcycles on the Titanic. Imagine. Jack and Rose could have been like...

1:05:06Jason Mantzoukas:All right, I'm in the audience. I'm here to take questions. I am going to go... Oh, wait a second. And I forgot my most important thing. Hold on. This is going to be worth it. Oh, this is totally worth it. Oh, man. The other night, I was gifted Gerard Butler's shirt from Den of Thieves 2. It's so hot on you. It's the real shirt from the real movie. It's the real shirt from the movie. So hot on you, Paul. And I only enter the audience in my Gerard Butler Big Nick shirt. Still smells like him, right? Den of Thieves 2, Pantera. I'm not going to make it. I mean, if you only want to smell it, how good it smells.

1:05:42Yeah, I'll smell it. I'll give it a smell. Ah, that's vintage Gerard. Vintage Jerry.

1:05:48Jason Mantzoukas:It smells like Scotland. Yeah, the Pete. All right, I'm putting you on the spot. What is your name? Megan. Megan, do you have a question? So my question is, after Stallone dies, I thought it was so weird that Statham's first activity was to delete him out of his phone. Oh, my God. Yeah. you're right most people don't ever delete that here's what i'll say this will be covered in one of my men's classes yes because you gotta be you gotta be ruthless it's gonna be about grief men in grief men in grief and how we can't handle our friends deaths how we can't handle our emotions yes i have i have a person that i know who passed i was not very close with them and every time i've gone and seen their name, I think, oh, I should delete that.

1:06:39Jason Mantzoukas:But I'm like, no, I can't. It's disrespectful. This is his brother. He's like, gotta save those files. You wouldn't ever want to go and look at that chat you had or look at the pictures that have been shared in there. That's it. Done. Goodbye. Stallone is just sending him GIFs of golden showers. Yeah, just piss memes. Eggplant emojis. When Stallone finally figured out how he could do a GIF. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Eggplant means what? Eggplant means what? You heard about this eggplant thing? Whoa, whoa. It's a cat. The cat's birthday is today, and the cat's very excited about this cake. All right, yes.

1:07:24Jason Mantzoukas:You have a question. What's your name? Thomas. All right, Thomas. What's your question? Can Jason Statham see satellites? All right. I'm inclined to think he can. Like, I would let him. I would let him. Yeah. I think because he is a drinker, we've seen that drinking does improve your eyesight, so maybe he could see, yeah, he has a bionic sight. Yeah. What's her name? What's her question? My name is Soraya. I just have a comment, but the guy who was talking about the golden shower that you guys were talking about was like Puss in Boots. Yeah. Was supposed to be Antonio Banderas' son from the third movie.

1:08:12Oh. What? So he's literally... Now it all makes sense. It's purposeful. Wow. It's purposeful that he has that vibe. Okay, great call. Okay, great. See? Excellent work. That's how it's done. That's how it's done. A simple Google we could have done, but we didn't.

1:08:29Jason Mantzoukas:All right, I saw you from across the way. I see the paper's up. Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm Jenny Hyde. Hi, Jenny. What SEAL Team unit were you in? SEAL Team 6, SEAL Team 8? All right, so what's your question? Two things, if I may. If not, it's cool. Go for it. Let's agree to one. Okay. And then we'll see where we are at. Okay. So in the beginning, when Megan Fox and Statham are going to bone, she's fully dressed. And then he's going to go down on her. and then they look over at the negligee. So then she gets fully naked and then when they go to the bed scene, now she's in the negligee. So to have sex, she got fully naked and then took the time to put the negligee on.

1:09:13Well, because he's like,

1:09:14Jason Mantzoukas:he's like, do me a favor. And she's like, go down on me first and then I'll get dressed up for you. He requests the negligee. Yeah. He stops what's happening to be like, hang on. Do an old soldier a favor. Yeah. She says, eat me out first. Then they must have like, what? Made a sandwich? Well, she goes and puts the negligee on. Also, here's my, I mean, this is just me, my personal, I'm not trying to yuck anybody's yums. I don't need a negligee. I know. I'm not interested in a negligee. I thought she looked great. Oh, she looks great. I'm just saying, at that point, I'm like, let's get you out of all clothes.

1:09:56Jason Mantzoukas:But can I tell you why? he's Christmas. He likes his presents gift wrapped. That's right. Oh, good one, Paul.

1:10:08Jason Mantzoukas:And I also want to say, Jess, your recall for certain lines in this movie is really blowing me away. I know. I feel like this movie is part of me now and not in a good way. This tour has changed you. Oh, for sure. I'm straight up losing my fucking mind. All right. I think you did good enough to get a second question. What do you got? Thank you. Second is, I don't know his name, but the Thailand boat captain guy. They went to the effort to ADR all of his lines, but you still can't understand a single one of them. This is kind of the issue I've noticed sometimes that happens. I don't know why. Did you guys check that out?

1:10:47Yeah, I feel like Tony Jaa and Iko, right? They had lines to deliver that they just couldn't get through, and the movie should have helped them with that. I feel like the movie hung them out to dry. Yeah, it's like, do this monologue. I was also curious as to why when we see Daisha, that's his character's name, right? When he comes back to help, I know. I don't know. She has it in her notes. She has it in her notes. I do have some. That's Tony Joff. I don't know why that guy's name. Unbock the Thai warrior. I don't know why that guy's name is Tollroad, but Daisha. Wait, Tollroad or Toblerone? My expendable name, if I can get in one of these movies, is Toblerone.

1:11:30No, they would call you like falafel or like, you know, some fucking...

1:11:35Jason Mantzoukas:Wow. Wow. Wow. They'd be like, what's up, hummus? What's up, shwarma? Yeah. Wow. What's up, shwarma? She has lost her mind. None of these are Greek dishes. What's up, Spanakopita? This is racism What's up, Spanakopita? This is racism Welcome to New America, Jason Wow This is Wait, I just got a text You're in the cabinet? You're You're replacing Stefanik? Stuff it, Feta Yeah Okay, yes, your name, your question. Oh, hey, my name is Lauren. Hi. Hi, I was wanting to go back to the Andy Garcia monologue of nonsense, where he is yelling at Jason Statham, and he accuses him of having genital warts, and no one ever brought that up.

1:12:42Did you hear that? Well, he said he's like genital warts. Yeah, he's saying you're like... You keep coming back.

1:12:49Jason Mantzoukas:And I can't get rid of you, basically. Yeah, he's like it. Yeah, he doesn't have it. Andy Garcia's not saying, you gave me genital warts! You gave me genital warts! You have them, and now I have them! Genital warts! Please don't film this. What do you got? What happened to Daisha? He explained that he couldn't fight because he would not be able to stop again. and then we don't see what happens to him at the end. He doesn't stop. Is he still there fighting? You're right. He's still fucking going. Also, why does she show up looking like Captain Jack Sparrow? He's got full eye makeup. He's done a whole makeover on himself.

1:13:31Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, I liked him. Well, he seemed like he was getting ready to fight in the jungle, not on a military ship. Yeah. Like he would blend into the weeds and the grass. I'll be honest, though, because when Tony Jaa showed up, I was like, fuck yes, Tony Jaa's here. And then he was like, I don't fight anymore. And I was like, uh-oh. Because you've got, like, the best guy for fighting in the movie now, and you're telling me he doesn't fight. So when he comes in, when he Han Solos himself back in, I was like, fuck yes. And then he's just taking dudes out. I was like, give me this all day, every day.

1:14:09The only bummer was that I felt like he didn't get enough time. He didn't get enough fights. I wanted, I felt like this movie needed more. Less slicing. Less slicing and stabbing and more of what he was up to. And more heightening. More heightening. It wasn't just enough to be like, great, we're fighting this guy. Then scale it up. Uh-oh, now Tony Jaa's got to fight six guys? Right. Then, oh, okay, him and Lash got to go back to back and kill a bunch of people? Give me that all the time. That's why it felt like the fighting stayed on one level. Very lateral moves. Very lateral. Very lateral moves.

1:14:43I agree. Except for when they killed that kid. Or the kid's mom and the kid just had to look at. We don't, she gets killed off camera. I know, but then she's just laying there and they're like, look at the dead mom.

1:14:58Jason Mantzoukas:All right, sir, your name, your, uh, what SEAL team were you in? Uh, my name is Keith and SEAL team six. Okay. Wow. SEAL team six. This is great. Okay. All right. So here's my curiosity. There's a nuclear bomb in the hull of the ship. It's got like three minutes left. It is the longest three minutes in all of the world. It's like there's a time stop. Andy Garcia's helicopter gets blown up. He throws the kill switch over. And then they try to take a little rubber boat and try to escape. there's no way even if you had the helicopter that they would be able to escape the explosion and the blast radius there is literally impossible there's not enough time first let me ask you a question did you see how many rings he had on?

1:15:53Jason Mantzoukas:maybe for somebody who doesn't wear a fuckload of rings it's not enough time there's always enough time I agree with you because it would have made more sense if Andy Garcia was like I'm tossing the thing overboard me and my men are going to die but the event that I've put into motion is still going to happen and that's all I care about. But the fact that he thought he could escape means he's a moron and if he is in fact that big of a moron, then the moron that is Sylvester Stallone should have caught him by now. But by the way he could have just gotten in that helicopter he didn't even there's so many things.

1:16:27Jason Mantzoukas:He could have just left with that switch and been gone. It would have been fine. He didn't need to throw it over. I feel like that was a big mistake. And even more so. So Sylvester Stallone shoots the boat to sink it. There's 30 seconds left on the timer. There's no way that it sinks that quick. Literally, the physics do not add up. There's no way it sinks. Hey, hey, my guy. You're getting as upset as Andy Garcia did. Take a breath. Take a breath. This guy's going to have a stroke. Look, this is... We're talking about Expendables. Oh, he's getting such a cute hug. Look at the hug he's getting from his wife.

1:17:06This is cute. This is cute as hell. Oh, my God, I love them.

1:17:12Jason Mantzoukas:This is why they kicked that fucking nerd Albert Einstein off the team. But, I mean, you're right in the sense, too, that, like, the nuclear bomb was so big it would have caused so much destruction. They just got so lucky that Jason Statham was able to drift the aircraft carrier like he's in Tokyo Drift. He drifts an aircraft carrier until it turns all the way around and then hits it. There's a phrase like you can't turn an aircraft carrier around fast, right? Yeah, that famous phrase. What? That old chestnut. What is the phrase? I think it's just a theory. I think this is a theory that you can't...

1:17:57Jason Mantzoukas:Like, the Titanic couldn't turn that fast. Yeah, one degree. Yeah. Okay. Wait a second. Hang on. Hang on, Paul. What? What did you have to say? One degree, you know. I just hear you behind me going, one degree, yeah. Like, you're just cooked. You're just doing free jazz. We broke Jess. This is like a Ken Nordean album. Like, what's up, man? I don't know, man. Jess is so broken by this tour that she went to the airport in Los Angeles today without a ticket because she forgot to buy one. No, no, you're wrong. She bought one for May. Guys. She'll be here in May. May 1st. Jessica St. Clair. Right here.

1:18:43Your one-man show. Men matter. I bought a ticket for a flight that was leaving 25 minutes later. And they wouldn't let me on. And the woman goes, well, mostly the people who do that are, you know, people who want to blow up planes. They say me. It's me. You can say it. I know what you're thinking. It's falafel next to you.

1:19:09Jason Mantzoukas:I want Jess and the Expendables. Good old Baba Ganoush. Hey, Baba Ganoush. Hey, at least it's got the eggplant. All right. Oh, my goodness. All right. Well, clearly we had opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions. Hi, I'm Shauna.

1:19:37Dead man roasted in a burning plane.

1:19:43Jason Mantzoukas:Megan Fox in sexy clothes. Machine guns on bikes and some crazy knife fights. It's Jason Statham. Five stars. Yes! Beautiful. That's how it's done. Beautiful. That's how it's done, Frisco. Beautiful. It's Venables 4 on Amazon. 12 ,000 reviews. Wow. Okay. That's depressing. I will tell you that we've done this show multiple times. I could get 1 ,000, get 100, 12 ,000. 66 % are five-star reviews. What's so crazy is that that doesn't jibe with what it made at all. No, because people are waiting to watch it at home. Like Mr. Ammo. Mr. Ammo writes, well, Sylvester Stallone is getting pretty old, but in this movie he carries a pretty heavy gun.

1:20:52Jason Mantzoukas:or at least in part of the movie. I don't want to be the spoiler, so I'm not going to tell you, but I was really impressed with this one. I think this is the best out of all of them. Having that cast around him, especially Jason Statham, and of course, 50 Cent plays a bad, bad man. So get the popcorn, sit down, and have a drink ready. It's action from beginning to end. Five stars. Title, five stars on The Expendables? Why? Seems like he's questioning himself. Now this one is odd. From Harold Gertzinger. I enjoyed it, but I'm a big Denzel Washington fan. What? He went a little John Wick on this one.

1:21:42Jason Mantzoukas:LOL. Five stars. Wait. This person thinks they're reviewing The Equalizer. Yes. That's it. Oh, poor thing. By the way, and they're right, the Equalizer movies are incredible. They're so good. Incredible. Poor thing. But he does go a little John Wick. Sherry Cooper writes... Oh, a female voice. Coop! Once again, this was a great gift idea for my husband. Uh-oh. Five stars. Once again. Once again. Sherry. How many Expendables 4 DVDs does he have? Four years in a row. Now, every now and then we look at the one-star reviews. There's only 4 % that are one star. And I wanted to read this one here. Because I'll just read the middle of it from Scott A.

1:22:29Jason Mantzoukas:I can't take women seriously as badass chicks if they're dressing like they're going to go out on a date to impress a whole restaurant.

1:22:41Jason Mantzoukas:I can dress my wife up like that whenever I want. I'm here for the guns Now I'm a little gun shy No pun intended

1:23:00Jason Mantzoukas:But I would gladly chuck More money at number five No questions asked One star Yes Basically this guy is saying It's too woke my heart weeps for us I also like he says I can dress my wife up like that too to impress a whole restaurant that's what I think when I'm putting on my clothes I go restaurant get a load of me the whole restaurant everyone in Olive Garden is going to be like who is that piece of tush piece of tush I'll get those twice baked loaded tater skin with the side of my ass. Jason, Jessica. Oh, get a load of those twice-baked Tato skins. Jason, Jessica, anything you want to add?

1:23:55Jason Mantzoukas:Anything we might have missed? I mean, I was thrilled when Jason Statham found a tactical hatchet. That was hot. I was like, are you fucking kidding? Yeah. And then he has it on his back for like three different fights and doesn't use it even when he gets disarmed. He gets disarmed and doesn't just go, bam! And then he finally does and it's just one move and I was like, boring. He could have used the tactical hatchet the whole time and in fact he should have had two. You know? Right. That would have been awesome. Like the raid. Yes, I would have loved that. Let's see. I'll give you one thing here, Jason, because we've brought this up a couple times.

1:24:33Jason Mantzoukas:This was shot on location in Greece. Members of the Greek armed forces were used as extras. Your people! Your people! And allegedly not paid. Oh. Paid in hummus, I bet. Hummus? They were not compensated. This slander will not. Get ready. When this episode comes out, you're going to hear from Greeks. It says not compensated for their month-long official deployment, and they worked overtime. Oh, no. This does not reflect well. This movie was also released in mainland China before the United States. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Do we have how much it made there? Because I bet internationally this movie made a lot of money.

1:25:23Jason Mantzoukas:All right. So in the United States, it made$16 million worldwide,$51 million. Oh, okay. So still not great. Yeah. Still not making back that budget. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. So Jess, anything you want to bring up? You know, I've taken a ride tonight. I started out saying I loved it. And then I realized most of the time I was watching it, I think I was doing my hair. And this is not a bit. I really was doing my hair and applying fake eyelashes for y 'all. Trying to impress the entire restaurant, I bet. Trying to impress the entire restaurant. So now that I've heard this discussion of the film, I'm really gonna question me saying I loved it in the very beginning I think it is a piece of shit and I think women are treated terribly in this film I would still though fuck Statham and I'd give it to Stallone what?

1:26:27wait you would fuck Tulsa King? yep I bet they would cast you on Tulsa King as his love interest. Thanks. I appreciate that. I believe in you. My favorite line, which we haven't talked about, is when Dolph Lundgren does in fact succumb to the booze again so that he can become a good sniper, and he says, it's good to be back. That's nice. As an alcoholic.

1:26:55Jason Mantzoukas:Great message for any older person watching this movie who is struggling with their urges to be like, maybe... maybe I should go back to the sauce like it really is a terrible moral for anyone wrestling it oh yeah and it's not until we played the clip that I saw he's reading a book called like Sober Living yeah like his whole character seems to be being sober in the first movie it's a big deal that they kind of get him out of the drunk tank a little bit I enjoyed it it's not a good movie oh it's legit bad and it's the CGI eye is awful. It feels so cramped. It feels like they shot in escape rooms.

1:27:43Jason Mantzoukas:That's everything. You've been in escape rooms now in almost every city on this tour. I'm solo with my kids and I've been I can tell you Boise, Idaho. I was at their escape room. It looked better than most sets in this movie. And probably the plot you were given, I've never been in one, was better than this. Had more twists and turns. Oh, absolutely. Last night we were in an escape room. We were trapped in there. It was in the dark. We didn't know why. We had to find out who did it. It's my worst nightmare. Truly. Truly. It's fun. I'd be stuck in there forever. Oh, you would be. And only because you wouldn't try to get, you would give up immediately.

1:28:23The lights would go out and you'd be like,

1:28:25Jason Mantzoukas:oh, well, I guess I'll just die here. My youngest son did say In the middle of the one yesterday I'm tired, can I lay down? And I was like, you can They've been on the road Please do not let your children lay down on escape room floors I gotta be telling you Don't do it Hepatitis That would be a great name for one of the Hepatitis, get it Get him Oh yeah, I mean This cast is riddled with hepatitis the STDs the STDs and ex-wives abound on this movie well that's our show but before we go Jason you want to plug anything? If you haven't seen it already Invincible Season 3 just wrapped up one of the best shows on television don't sleep on it coming up in early May it's called Taskmaster get the fuck ready America I flew on a plane to tell these fucking assholes what's up also it's coming to an end guys they won't let me fuck pillows anymore Big Mouth season 8 May 20 May 20 something get ready it's all done and it's a great season so those are my plugs and oh I'll also plug local band Deaf Heaven has a new record Oh, why not support them?

1:29:58And also, while we're at it, let's support the Aquarius Music documentary. I found it at Aquarius Records. It's about an incredible San Francisco record store, Aquarius Records. R.I.P. a legend. If you haven't already, please check out the Deep Dive that I host with our queen, June Diane Raphael. And if you would like to join us at the Deep Dive Academy of Significance, we would love to have you. Our accreditation is pending. But the doors of enrollment are open. Go to thedeepdiveacademy.com. Oh, and if you'd like to become a better small talker, I wrote an audio book.

1:30:45Jason Mantzoukas:That's great. Called The Art of Small Talk with Casey Wilson. and it has great interviews with Amy Poehler, Tony Hale. It's great. My dad. Dad is fantastic. Every week on YouTube, I have a new show with Rob Hubel called The Dark Web. We are finding the weirdest shit online. We are ordering things from Timu. It's weird. It's fun. And they are bite-sized episodes. They're only 20 minutes long. We found out yesterday 60 % of our viewers are watching on TVs. What? I thought they would be watching on phones or computers. What's it on? YouTube. Yeah. Yeah. My book, Joyful Recollection Trauma, I talked about that.

1:31:29Jason Mantzoukas:That's available. You go to the website. I can personalize it for you. Big thanks to our tour manager, Beth, who's been amazing. Give it up for Beth. So great. Give it up for Jason Manzoukas, Jessica St. Clair. I am Paul Scheer. Thank you, San Francisco. We will be back. Eat shit, San Francisco. Thank you, San Francisco. Wow, what a fun show. I love having Sinclair in the June seat. We had such a great time at the Masonic. I want to give a big shout out to their entire staff and our tour manager, Beth. If you want to own the shirt that we designed for this show, and it's a good one, it is the Salesforce Tower with Stallone's skull ring around it.

1:32:10Jason Mantzoukas:just head on over to hdtgm.com and click on the merch button. You can get this shirt as a sticker, as a mug. San Francisco, you need to represent your city with our special Expendables 4 shirt. Also want to remind you that How Did This Get Made has hats now. That's right. And you know what? You go right to the same spot, hdtgm.com, and just click on the link that says hats. Pretty easy. That's right. You can wear your own What's Up Jerks or Geostorm hat. And we have a sale right now, 25 % off all Geostorm, What's Up Jerks, and classic How Did This Get Made hats. If you go over to httgm.com, hit hats and put in jerks at checkout.

1:32:57Jason Mantzoukas:As always, if you have a correction or omission from this episode, leave me a voicemail at 619-PAUL-ASK. and if you're maybe a little shy for that well you can write a comment on our discord at discord.gg slash hdtgm then tune in next week to our last looks episode to hear me respond to your messages and announce our next new movie plus we'll be playing more highlights from my lost sylvester stallone podcast but if you just need more content then i urge you to check out the dark web that's right. Every Monday, Rob Hubel and I dive deep into the dark web. It's free. It's on YouTube. And I think you will love it.

1:33:39Jason Mantzoukas:Now, people, I have some very exciting news. For those of you who don't know, our movie picking producer, Averill Halley, has been struggling in a battle with cancer. She has been kicking its ass and we got an amazing update. She got great MRI results that It showed no more tumors or growth. So I just wanted to say thank you so, so much to everybody who reached out to her, sent her positive vibes. We have reached out here many times on the show, and you have all just shown up, and it's meant the absolute world to her and her family. You can keep on sending her whatever you want. We've been sending her songs and fan art.

1:34:18Jason Mantzoukas:You can do the same at andrew at moviebitches.xyz, or you can send it via snail mail at Averill Halley, PO Box 641, Agora Hills, California 91376. Nothing perishable or scented, please. And remember, if you listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, please make sure you are subscribed to our feed and have automatic downloads turned on in the show settings. It helps us. It really, really does. and last but not least tell your friends about how did this get made yeah we didn't make the times 100 greatest podcasts of all time for shame there's a couple on there that was a little questionable some that just came out but you know what it won't stop us 15 years in and we're still going to take your recommendations over damn time magazines anyway um a big thank you to everybody who works on this show.

1:35:16Jason Mantzoukas:There's so many people, but let me talk about the ones that matter the most. Scott Sonny, Molly Reynolds, our movie picking producer Avery Halley, and our engineer Casey Holford. They bring this show to you every single week. That's all I got, people. Hope you're having a stellar Stallone summer, and we'll see you next week on Last Looks. Bye for now.

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