Hard Target LIVE! (Classic)

21:28Me too. But once Wilford Brimley showed up, I was like, oh, no, it's him now. He's taking the place of the third person. I know. It was just shocking because I don't think they expected that actress to be so good and watchable. It's like, oh, we really did care about her. And she's been left dead on the street. Yes, and she and Jean-Claude Van Damme had a good chemistry. Lovely rapport. Like, we're partners in solving a crime. Natalie is just along for the ride. Yes. Like, it would have been smarter to pair them up. A thousand percent. And at a certain point, I was like, why are you still here, Nat?

22:01I wrote that. What's up? Why is Natalie still here? Your daddy is dead. Daddy's dead.

22:07Jason Mantzoukas:She's got to see me. Your daddy is dead. now i will say your daddy is daddy i will say the sex scenes between uh emile fouchon and pick uh that is uh lance henderson and arnold visalu were great those are really great that their relationship i love like they do it in lethal weapon too where they just call someone by their last name they're like what do you think mr fouchon get like i love like when like it's like it's the best bad guy way to refer to somebody by their mr so-and-so like you know best yes i I loved it. I loved all the bad, again, all the bad guys knew exactly what movie they were in.

22:45And they did the right thing by minimizing Van Damme's dialogue so that he's just a kicking, punching, shooting machine. No quips, no dialogue. He doesn't have to carry exposition. Beyond the first act when he has to interact with the toughs at the diner and that stuff. Beyond that, he really has basically no lines. which is awesome. Wow, I guess that's right. I just would have wished they had thought to put his bare butt in it.

23:17Jason Mantzoukas:That was a mistake. But what they do do, and I said this in the beginning of the show, but what they do do is give him the best mullet of all time. And I want to pull up... His introduction scene in the diner where they're focusing on the mullet, the eyes, the earring, before they give you a full shot of him. Next level. I mean, we have some clips of his mullet right here. These are some stills of some mullet. Look, here we go. This is how we're introduced to the mullet. From behind. By the way, I don't mind it at all so far. It looks wet. I thought it was Aquanet. It might be sweat. Then we get this.

23:57It's just the humidity of Gnarlands. Gnarlands. He's like, I have a crawdad. Give me that crawdad.

24:04Jason Mantzoukas:If he had a... If he had a mullet like this, Nolens, what would his mullet look like? Because I feel like it would frizz out. This is a... Like he would have almost a full pearl. I'll say this. My hair is thriving in this city. Oh, okay. I bet it is. Thriving. I bet it is. The humidity is gold for these curls. Are you kidding? He looks dynamite. Except this looks sopping wet. But listen. He's just been in like a full-on fight. Wow. I gotta start wearing my hair like that? I think I mean the way it caresses him If I'd really been bold I would have styled my hair like that for the show It's so interesting because at one point I was like is there hair up there or is it all just back There is hair up there but it's so the entire movie I mean at one point he's standing on top of a motorcycle Yeah he's a stone cold hunk Absolutely this guy is gorgeous by the way that's the other thing that I was worried about Paul with Yancey was I don't know if he felt threatened by her hair see this is a point you know this

25:21this scene we could talk about for the rest of the night

25:26Jason Mantzoukas:I want to get into the snake biting thing but I want to talk about the hair for one more second because I'm realizing that Lance Hendrickson has done two movies in which he has played the bad guy with mulleted men and that is Stone Cold and this. Two very different mullets but also two very different men. I mean he's anti-mullet. I guess Lance is the mullet killer or they are. I wonder if there's a third that we need to find and do we need to because that is Complete the trilogy. Yeah, complete the Lance Hendrickson versus Mulleted Man trilogy. I guess you could make a point that Sigourney Weaver kind of has a curly mullet.

26:10Jason Mantzoukas:So that would be Alien. But he's not against her. Oh, I guess he would. Alien 3, is he against her? I don't know. I can't express to everybody here how much JCVD's look is accentuated and like worshipped by John Woo's slow-mo. You know, like it fetishizes him in a way that is so impactful for the movie, how they'll go to slow-mo arbitrarily, just in any way for any motion. Paying for gumbo. It's true. There were many times there were many times I was like, oh, we're in slow-mo like June. Look alive. And I'd watch the scene. And then I think, huh, I don't know why we I don't know what I was. I don't know why we were in slow-mo for that.

26:59Jason Mantzoukas:Because John Woo is primarily known for, like, gun action. And Jean-Claude Van Damme is known for, like, thigh and leg action. And so what I did like was the bridging of the gap, which is he, like, pulls back his trench coat like a cowboy would reveal a six-shooter just to reveal his upper thigh. That was amazing. You guys, that was amazing. It's incredible. That was amazing. Because there are a lot of, like, there are a lot of Western tropes inside of this. Like, you know, and it's great, and I love it. But that's a perfect one, because what he's showing off and showcasing isn't his gun. He's like, when you're ready to go, my leg's ready.

27:48My leg's ready for kicking. My leg is loaded.

27:52Jason Mantzoukas:Locked and loaded. He takes, at one point, I feel like somebody else's leg, He takes the head of somebody. He doesn't even use his own body to beat up two guys. He just holds one guy's head and slams it into another guy's leg, I feel like. There's a moment. There are so many scenes where Jean-Claude Van Damme kicks and punches men in helmets that are meant to survive high-impact accidents. And one man is coming at him on a motorcycle at, I don't know, 25, 30 miles an hour. Jean-Claude Van Damme is like, wha-bam! And takes the guy out helmet style. Jean-Claude Van Damme's shin or whatever would have disintegrated.

28:39He, at that speed coming at him, he would have been like, kablam! And his entire leg would have been like dust. Yeah. And he does that at least ten times in the movie. Yeah, and that's what's interesting about the movie is like, we're showcasing different types of weapons. you know rifles that have arrows in them actual bow and arrows guns machine guns grenades and grenades and jcbd's thighs yes like it's they're really set up as oh and jcbd is also he he can wield a shotgun he can wield a handgun upside down well i was like you can't aim this way no way

29:25Jason Mantzoukas:I felt like there was a point in this movie where John Woo gave up and said fuck it we're going to guns again like he was like we did your legs let's go do what I'm good at like I got you the two shots of your legs let's go guns because there are some great gun fights in here and it is odd because you don't really see JCVD working with guns I will say this throughout watching this and I know JCVD and he's an attractive man you said you know him well? No, I don't know him. Wait, are you best friends with JCVD? I would ask your daddy. I just am at the point in my notes where I wrote all caps. He keeps using the word daddy.

30:07Don't use daddy. But listen, what I wanted to discuss was Yancey's fashions because they were really scratching an itch to me. I haven't seen white tights. And seeing white tights and a French braid, just really, and a coach bag, brown coach bag, for me, it really scratched an itch. I also love, inside of a lot of the moments of importance, a lot of the moments of fight explosions and little montages and stuff, This movie has one of my favorite tropes that we find in our movies, which is searing electric guitar solos over the action. So it's like once that fight outside the diner starts, it's like.

30:59But it's got like a real Bayou vibe here. Now, speaking of the Bayou. Yeah. Speaking of. Yes. Speaking of the Bayou. No gators in this movie. No gators, which I was shocked by. I don't know horses to live in the bayou, but I don't know that they don't also. So that could be... A lot of bayou horses. I think there are horses in the bayou. Great. But I'm also like... The fact that we just accept the information that JCVD grew up in the bayou? I couldn't tell if that was the case. But my assumption is yes. No, but he says that. He says I was raised by my own... I mean, he grew up... Wilfred Brindley is his uncle, or just does he refer to him?

31:44His uncle, and he was raised in the bayou.

31:46Jason Mantzoukas:This is Lance Hendrickson explaining J.C.V.D.'s background. Silver Star. Marine Force Recon. He joined the merchant service after he got out. His captain was smuggling opium. This pose, incredible. When he drove, found out he threw the man overboard. He's been looking for work ever since. He's obviously not someone we should underestimate. He was raised in the bayous by his uncle. I think Mr. Boudreau would make a very interesting quarry. Maybe I should pay him a visit? No, no, no, no. Send a couple of lads down there to have a chat with him, won't you pick? Yeah. I love this movie. So good. Perfect.

32:33Jason Mantzoukas:I love that they're on two couches having this conversation. They're not looking at each other. John Woo's framing it so you see both of their faces, and they're not looking at each other, which is actually so smart because they're great. And they're just talking about this man. How did he get this information? They grew up with his uncle. How would that be on file? How would they get that so quickly? Why is JCVD on the second porch balcony reading a coroner's report standing? It seems uncomfortable to look through photos and read evidence when you can't put anything on a table. JCVD feels in this moment, the way this movie cuts together, it's as if he's listening to them.

33:17He feels as though, and late in the movie, JCVD has a series of flashbacks for scenes he was not in. He's not in. Oh, okay. And they do that a lot where he has information or knowledge that we, the audience, have, but he, chance, does not.

33:39Jason Mantzoukas:By the way, it's like Spaceballs when they pull up the movie of Spaceballs. So, like, he has access to Hard Target, the movie. He's like, what happened? I need to find out before I do this next. Got it. Now, I will tell you this. Nate Kiley does all of our research for this, and he's amazing. So this movie, apparently, when delivered, was a Lance Henriksen movie. it was more focused on Lance Hendrickson like it was like the guy who runs the hunt and blah blah and JCVD was like oh the thorn in my side and JCVD saw it was like the fuck I'm JCVD and he recut the movie to cut Lance down and out or to a smaller role but I do love that John Woo signed on was like you're in the jcvd business i'm in the lance henrickson business yeah and what got released is kind of a nice mix because he does carry himself like a lead he really does yeah and he's the more compelling it's the more compelling performance here's where when i first was introduced to his character i was like i he's so fascinating to watch but it's also like at the end of the day, he is a bad guy, but he's also an entrepreneur.

34:56Yes. And he is doing this. He sees a hole in the market. Yes. And he sees the white space. And he goes to fill it. And I'm like, okay. So, and then, he really is. He is. He's a hunting disruptor. Most people are hunting animals. He's like, what? Check me.

35:17Jason Mantzoukas:And then he started WeWork. But then at the end, he's also creating this fire sale special for all of the past customers to come in. But he's charging them. He got into some shit. He's like, you have to pay for this. He made them pay. It was great. He had the whole third act. JCVD kills conservatively four dozen bad guys. Lance Hendrickson seems to have unlimited bad guys on retainer, all of whom have wild outfits on. And that's why, honestly, I wish we could get Marcus Limonis on this show. You want to sell the hunt? From the profit on MSNBC because how much of a margin is he making? He was like, he's paying off the corner.

36:09Jason Mantzoukas:He's paying pick. He's playing the two motorcycle guys. And all of those dogs, all of the heavies must be making. He's also having to, every once in a while, pick up his entire operation and move it to a different country, which has to be cutting into his margins. Oh, especially if you're taking all those guys. That's food. That's per diem. See, that's where Marcus Limonis could come in. He could hook them up with Simply Greek. He could hook them up with his sporting goods store for all their weapons. But guys, guys, what you're not realizing is this. The way he cuts the overhead is by shooting them in the face.

36:45that's the way he makes back his money his gun is a pistol it's a musket that shoots what's the some one of these dummies knows that we're in the south there's a gun nut here well what what is he shooting it's not a shotgun that's what i wrote too but those aren't it's like a musket right it's not a musket it's a pistol that shoots what so one of you raise your hand or i will come all

37:09Jason Mantzoukas:i see somebody there hold on hold on i got this person i'm gonna i'm gonna give it to you right there yes it's a it's a contender pistol it's a single shot break barrel pistol they sold them in a number of calibers but that one in particular is a 45 70 uh of course which is a giant round they used to use to hunt buffalo it goes back to like the 1850 it's a massive bullet this guy's our gun guy thank you for showing me that gentleman back there what i and what i thought about it's interesting you say that because what I thought about that and I wrote it in my notes is this gun could have been a contender.

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39:43Jason Mantzoukas:Can I just show my favorite scene in the movie? Because, again, I talked about what makes a great bad guy. We have a moment where Lance Hendrickson is calling Pic by his last name. This is the scene that brought it home. And is Pic's last name Van Cleef, I believe? His name is Pick Van Cleef. And that is, this movie is constantly referencing, John Woo is constantly referencing Once Upon a Time in the West. Yes. He's doing like the close-up of the eyes, like the Henry Ford shot. He's constantly doing callbacks. Close-up of the mullet. Exactly. He's doing callbacks to that movie, and Lee Van Cleef is in that movie.

40:19Yes. Not Henry Ford, Lee Van Cleef. Yeah, Lee Van Cleef.

40:21Jason Mantzoukas:Pick Van Cleef. Yeah. So this is the scene. Forget the fact that they're talking about, don't contact us on Telex. I don't know what the fuck telex is. I understand that, yes, you shouldn't probably talk about hunting a human on a fax machine, but watching Lance Henriksen play a piano like he's hard-fucking. Yeah. And then the best part of it is when it cuts back to him and he turns around to tell the guy, hey, are you ready to hunt a human being? The piano is closed. The keyboard is closed. The cover is over the keys. I was like, okay. he was done here take a look at you can even hear it in the way he plays

41:17Jason Mantzoukas:you'll deposit five hundred thousand dollars in our account in a bank in the karen islands do not refer to our agreement by telex or in conversations on the phone. You'll be provided with a guide. So angry. Tractors and the weapon of your choice. Naturally, we'll dispose of the body and provide you with an out-of-town, airtight alibi. Don't worry, Mr. Zanon. All you have to do is point and shoot.

41:50Keyboard open. Oh, and then it's decided. It reverses and it's closed. Anyway.

41:56Jason Mantzoukas:But he is looking at himself in the mirror while playing a piano and he's not looking at the keys. It is like Bishop from Alien doing that knife game. Like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. I feel like it is him fucking. Yo, yes. It's like, this is a sex scene for him where he's just like, I'm not even going to look at you. I'm going to jump doing my thing. Yeah, this is the only sex scene in the movie. Yes. And it's the best sex scene I've ever seen. Oh, that's why I had to finish it today. I came in this scene, fell asleep. I know. And had to get up today and be like, I guess I'm going to watch the rest of the movie.

42:31Yeah. I mean, our kids are traveling with us right now. And I was like, guys, don't come in. Not right now.

42:37Jason Mantzoukas:I have to say this. There is. I just want to talk about the game, the most dangerous game. because I guess what I really find odd about this movie is it's so one-sided. It's like, hey, do you want me to put a puppy in front of you and give you a shotgun? At one point, a guy almost starts aiming at the game before the game even starts. Like, hey, hey, put the gun down, buddy. I love that that guy is like, he looks like a dentist from Cleveland and he's wearing just like a regular trench coat but has like a super high-tech gun. It's like, it's not just people who were like trained for this. They just seem to have the money and are like, give me a gun and I'll shoot a guy.

43:24Well, it also seems like we're all okay with humans hunting other humans. We just wish it were more evenly matched. Yeah. We are like 10 years away from this being a reality.

43:37Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, in my mind, I guess like the thought would be like, wouldn't it be fun no not for me but wouldn't it like wouldn't the thing be like oh you actually have to track this person you have to do it it's like they really just like I guess maybe that's what hunting is the dogs get the dogs get the animals into an area where it's where you flush them out but I think what you're saying though is true which is it should be that they are marketing this to skilled hunters and that doesn't seem to be the case it seems that they are just trying to sell this to people who want to kill people. That is different.

44:15Like, there's a hunter. Yes, they are marketing this to people who, like, want the thrill of ending a human life. Someone's life. Not who want the challenge of hunting the most dangerous man.

44:25Jason Mantzoukas:And when you see the weapons, you're like, why do they have such good weapons but are such bad hunters? Like, there's one hunter who is dressed in, like, striped, like, Zubaz pants from, like, the Super Bowl in 1986. and he's hunting while smoking a cigar, which is a surefire way of, like, they're hunting a human. They can smell that cigar. Like, that's not like, that's not going to be good for stealth. They're also, and this, really, I cannot overstate this enough, they are doing it in the city of New Orleans. They're not, they're hunting, they're hunting party cars. I mean, Lance Hendrickson is in a convertible.

45:06the other guys are in a truck the dogs are on motorcycles and they're not like out in the bayou they're not out in the country they're not chasing people through the bogs and marshes of this area they are like on bourbon street midday midday midday hunting blowing people and i think the reason that the um the movie introduces the police strike is that it's lawless the city is just law

45:34Jason Mantzoukas:But it also is like, and no tourism. Like, literally, there's no one on these streets. When they kill that guy, like, didn't you forget to say goodbye to me? Boom, blows his head off. And then, by the way, he goes to blow that guy's head off and brings, like, 12 people with him. Like, these people are all about unfair advantages. It's like, I'm going to just go blow a guy's head off. Can I get, like, 12 guys just to get my back on this one, just in case? Like, and that guy is my favorite guy, the guy that they karate chop in the belly, get up, eat that buck. where Lance... I'm obsessed with how he sleeps.

46:07I've never seen an adult sleep big time. Well, first of all, I'm like, is this an... Was that an afternoon nap? Or was that... Because he's sleeping fully clothed with both arms up. Oh, he's star fishing that bed hard. For sure. But I do... I was fascinated by it because I'm like, oh, when I used to watch our children sleep as babies, lots of times they would put both arms up and it's one of the most vulnerable positions you could find yourself in. Now what if I said the same sentence? When I used to watch your children sleep when they were babies. Is it a suite? It was such an interesting character choice.

46:51Jason Mantzoukas:Are you guys leaving? No, the bar is open. Oh, okay. They are leaving? Wow, they only gave them some... We love you too. If two people want to come from the back, two seats in the front just opened up. Back row. Let's turn on the house lights. They had to go. Wow. I totally understand that they have to go and that's fine. We started a little late. But you know what? I really appreciated that he loved us. I did too. I'm willing to say I love you back. Thank you. People have to go. Babysitters, I get it. Babysitters, dinner reservations, hour 45, we're out. These guys win. Now those seats are open.

47:35Jason Mantzoukas:Well, I will say this, that that guy, they cut off his ear, they beat him up a lot, but I do want to talk about two things about that guy. First of all, one of the badass and weird moves to me was Lance Hendrickson washing his hand in his fishbowl, which felt more unsanitary from Lance's side. Like, I'll wash my hand in your fishbowl, you fat fuck. so much evidence at every crime scene. His blood is in the fishbowl. Well, there's no police, Jason. You have to remember they're on strike. At one point, he takes the bullet casing out of his gun after he shoots a guy in the cemetery and just throws it on the ground.

48:14To make sure he touches it

48:16Jason Mantzoukas:before, yeah, he doesn't shake it out. The other thing that got me is this man who is constantly beat up by Lance Hendrickson. He runs, he basically gives people flyers to pass out for phone sex lines. But when the wide-eyed girl finds it in her dad's luggage, she's so shocked. And I couldn't tell. Is she shocked that she thinks her dad is doing phone sex? Running a phone sex line. I think she's just shocked by the imagery and the craziness of it. So much so that someone has to say to her, Chance Boudreau says to her, don't worry, he passed these out for money. This is not... The one thought I had during this movie, because they get lost in the bayou at one point, and it's the most manicured bayou I've ever seen.

49:05Jason Mantzoukas:It is a full trailhead. And she's like, oh my God, I can't walk anymore. I'm like, you're walking by the Children's Museum of New Orleans. This is a paved area. She's like, oh God, I can't stand the bayou. And I was like, wouldn't it be great if they were just wearing shorts? like Jean-Claude Van Damme in like short shorts like magnum shorts would have been great I would have liked it I did love the the the undercurrent storyline which is the homeless are fundamentally ignored yes like the people of this city the poor people of this city are constantly being victimized and the homeless especially especially when Elijah is being hunted and he's in the middle of I'm just gonna say Bourbon Street but you know that area he's in the French Quarter he's in the French exactly I'm sorry That's what I wasn't remembering.

49:52And he is there, and there's so many people, and he's just trying to get them to help, and they won't help him. Now, in Maroney, that would happen,

49:58Jason Mantzoukas:but not in the French Quarter. And then he is shot a thousand times. That scene is absolutely haunting, and so well done. It is a great scene, and you know who's in that scene? Sam Raimi. Oh, Sam Raimi's a producer on this movie. And I found out from Nate that the Universal Studios was so nervous about John Woo directing an English film that they made Sam Raimi stay on set every day just in case he fucked up. Oh, that's interesting. Was this John Woo's first American movie? Yes, first English language film. Oh, I didn't know that. And I saw that. Should we do Broken Arrow? Yeah. Then we would do three.

50:38Travolta, Christian Slater. Let's do it. Samantha Mathis. Love Samantha Mathis. Samantha Mathis. Oh, pump up the volume, guys. One of the best. We'll never do it because it's flawless. it's great yeah that's for unspooled I guess Paul and Amy will tackle that we could do cuffs Paul Thomas Anderson about pump up the volume PT

51:00Jason Mantzoukas:PTA wants to do cuffs he wants to do cuffs Christian Slater's other movie where he's like a police adjacent a real deep cut again we're cutting all of this when when his buddy gets shot in the French quarter it's in the mid everything's happening. It's like you said, it is a beautiful shot. And no one seems to worry because Peck or Pick just goes up to the bodies like, what's going on here? Just take this money. The bad guys are not phased at all by the fact that they've committed a murder in broad daylight in the French Quarter where there's tourists everywhere. I'm assuming because the police are on strike.

51:46I guess. Pick walks up with his Spyderco knife and he's like, that guy gets it and he's like zip take the 10 grand we're walking away they are New Orleans in this movie and even still today is dot dot dot lawless I was really curious about the 10 grand belt and just like oh that's interesting is that belt I mean Jason you'll surely have something to say about this but is that was it made for money like a little money belt or... They call it a money belt and there's such a thing as a money belt. Yeah, there's a money belt, but there are not belts. There are money belts. There are belts that have tools in them built into the belt.

52:29But there's not a belt like that. We're talking about gear. Isn't that just a tool belt? Yeah, because this belt, I was like, oh, it must be repurposed as a 10 grand money belt, but there's no way you're making, a manufacturer is making a belt that just has pouches all around it for for money. What I think is that it's a belt. Yes, I think you're right. I don't think it is meant to be a belt to hold 10 grand, but I think it is something that has been made to be a... Different things. Doesn't Charles Grodin... Or it is custom. They made it so that it could hold that amount of money. Doesn't Charles Grodin...

53:07I don't think they sell it like... I don't think you could order it from Amazon, the 10 grand belt. I mean, I'm curious.

53:11Jason Mantzoukas:Well, you never know. Amazon Basics might have it. Although, SDR Travel does make a tote bag, a kit bag that holds $1 million in US currency. Wow. Really? But wait, doesn't Charles Grodin in Midnight Run have about$10 ,000 in his money belt? Yes. So there you go. It works. No one questions it then. Money belts can hold what, I mean, it's just a matter of the denominations. Yeah, if you have enough high bills, you can fit more in it. It wasn't all singles. Now, if it was singles, that would probably be... New Orleans is a city that runs on singles. But here's the thing. You're disgusting. They're hunting through the bayou, and this is maybe where, I mean, there's so many things to talk about.

53:56And let's not say hunting. They're murdering through the bayou.

54:00Jason Mantzoukas:And Jean-Claude Van Damme fights a lot of people, but he also fights a fucking snake. Let's take a look at this moment where he fights a snake. This was, to me, I did not know about this moment, and again another jaw dropper. And this is after the motorcycle scene, which we haven't even talked about yet. This blew my mind, especially because of the way he introduces it slowly by saying, close your eyes. You trust me? Of course I trust you. Close your eyes. Why do you want me to trust you with my eyes closed? Close your eyes. This whole time the Stinky is right there. He knows it. They're taking their time.

55:04Big eyes.

55:20Is it dead? Paul, is there any way we can rewind?

55:28What are you doing? I'm leaving a surprise for my friends. This suggests he's done this before.

55:38Jason Mantzoukas:He rips off the rattle part of the snake like ripping off a shrimp tail. it's like a crawfish I have a question for our gun guy because I somehow feel like he'll know. Do you guys have rattlesnakes here? Okay, cool. Just making sure. Because we have them in I see them in California all the time but it's a desert climate so I was like oh is that I'm less concerned about the rattlesnake and I'm more concerned about how he saw it because the way the rattlesnake is positioned is he's like close your eyes and i think the way we would think is that it's coming down like this but the snake is coming up her back like peekaboo peekaboo but it's like where what is it holding on to it doesn't a snake doesn't rise up like an elevator like and how would you see i assumed it was in the tree above i thought it It was in the tree coming down.

56:42It was coming down.

56:43Jason Mantzoukas:But it's coming over her shoulder. It's coming above her shoulder. It's like... Yeah, but they can do that. How? Where's their tail? Hold on, June. What do you know about rattlesnakes? Well, I don't know a whole lot, but I feel like isn't that the whole thing about snakes, that they're like one giant muscle, so they can kind of like contract? One giant muscle. Yeah. But it's got a balance on something. Yeah, I think the bottom was on a branch somewhere. I think it's in a tree. And then it sort of worked its way up. But they're on land. What do you mean? They are, but I think there's trees behind them somewhere.

57:22I think it's coming out of the tree. Got it. Okay, so there's a low-limbed branch. Is it tree snakes? What do you guys think? What? Hold on.

57:30Jason Mantzoukas:This lady knows. Okay. June is right. A snake is all muscle. Yes. Case closed. Yeah. Just like Nolan's cops. No need to investigate further. She said June's right. Isn't the study of snakes herpetology?

57:49Jason Mantzoukas:Well, it came to the right person. That's how they were attracted. Right?

57:57Guys, maybe that's what happened to Nat. And now, I don't know. I don't know if when you're, and I do actually want to know. so if anyone has this information, please share. When you encounter a snake and intend to kind of subdue it or kill it, do you give it a... Then you punch it. Then you punch. Because I was like, oh, that's interesting. Is he trying to disorient it? I think he's trying to stun it, not kill it. Okay, so he couldn't... Right, but I guess my question is like, why not only punch? Oh, because it would bite him, I think. Oh, so he slaps it to close its mouth. He hits his head first down so it's like, whoa.

58:41Then he's like, bonk, which makes it, I believe, unconscious so that he can set it as a trap for the guys later. It definitely looked like it had been knocked out. He approaches the fight with the snake the same way that he approaches the fight with Mr. Pink. Absolutely. Absolutely. But that's a serious question. Does that seem accurate? Do we have any herpetologists in the room?

59:06Jason Mantzoukas:Has anyone bitch slapped and then punched a snake in the face? Somebody raised their hand. And that you get on the big gator tours. The good gator tours, you get to do that. The five-hour ones. A real missed opportunity, no gators in this movie. For this area, I was like, for sure we're going to get some gators. Well, I mean, they spent all their money on the motorcycle budget because as we're talking about the snake scene, we have to talk about this scene where he's on the run, he's on a motorcycle. We have established he doesn't know how to drive, but yet he knows how to fucking drive a motorcycle.

59:39Jason Mantzoukas:I guess he knows how to drive a motorcycle. We'll see in a second. But he's on a chase. The bridge goes out, or it's under construction, and this is the moment that I'm really confused at. He takes Yancey and goes, you stay here. From what I understand in this movie, she would be engulfed in flames at the end of this scene. But he puts her in harm's way and then does this.

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1:00:19OLDBENDO due to the mission, najwię necesIS NEITHER OH ESTABCrête Ya ick

1:00:48He has to be dead.

1:00:50Jason Mantzoukas:And Yancy is engulfed in flames and dead. Because that truck explodes right where he said, stay here, you'll be safe. that she has no chance of life or survival after that. My only note on this scene, only, the only thing I have to say about it is I was bummed that he didn't forward roll over the car. Yeah. He tried. You think he tried? Because there are some great somersaults in this movie. But here I was like, oh. In that close-up, he is trying to do the forward fall, but the stuntman couldn't do it. Yeah. Like, that's what you're seeing. That stuntman. Beth, rewind it just a second, because watch the way, just a little bit.

1:01:30Jason Mantzoukas:You'll see, like, all right, watch, because you'll see he is trying to, like, that's a forward roll. He's going into it. Right, but then watch us, Stuntman, watch us here. Okay, so that's forward roll. He's trying to plan. Right, but he's going sideways. By the way, that's a fucking nuts. That's amazing. That's an insane stunt. The Stuntman, I think, tried to land on his feet. Oh, wait a second. While we're frozen here, what's his watch doing? One's a compass. That's a compass. And the other side's a calculator. Like, what's his watch? Is it a compass? Compass, calculator, and watch. That's what he's got on there.

1:02:04Well, I mean, like, honest to God, I'm just noticing this for the first time. It's the first time I'm seeing this on the big screen. It's better. And I'm genuinely like, what's up with this watch?

1:02:16Jason Mantzoukas:By the way, rewind it one more time, Beth, because, you know what, we can keep the show a little bit long. Just rewind it a little bit. I want to see, when you see him go forward, you see another man's face. The size of people in this movie are great. The other man's face is great. It's right about, let's see, maybe a second before. It's right before you see his face. Hold on. Yeah, we're getting there. We're getting there. Maybe a second. Oh, wait. Yeah, just try. Okay, right. So his face. This is incredible. Right. Here's his face. We hit play. Let's just see if we can get to it. Another face.

1:02:44Jason Mantzoukas:Another face. Right there. Yeah. If you rewind that, you'll see another face fully. It's like Stuntman from Mel Gibson. Yeah, that guy. That is. It looks like Jay Leno. It looks like Jay Leno, denim on denim, standing on top of a motorcycle. Listen, God bless that stunt, Matt. Yeah, I do some stunts. I don't use my Tonight Show money. I just do stunts. I use all my stunt money instead. In the spare time, they said they wanted to rent my motorcycles and my trucks.

1:03:16Jason Mantzoukas:Oh, well, I mean, before we get to the audience, I need to, we got to talk about one other thing. I mean, I have so many more notes, but yeah, go ahead. Thank God for Wilford Brimley. I wrote in my notes, like, we're so far into the movie, and I said, where's Wilford Brimley? I was actually worried. You were worried that he might not be in the movie? I was, because I was so excited when I saw his name in the beginning, and I was like, it was really quite some time until he shows up. No, Wilford Brimley. This frame right here highlights something I want to talk about. swipe edits. This movie has full swipe edits throughout that are...

1:03:58Jason Mantzoukas:Like Star Wars. That are from like, yes, that are from like 30s and 40s serials. It's fucking nuts. I loved it. When they meet Wilford Brimley, at first it just looked like an old man. And I will say this. What I know about Wilford Brimley is he's got a very distinctive, like kind of the most Americana accent. I'm going to talk, I'm going to tell you some shit and this is it. You know, and it's like, And so when he opens his mouth in this movie, my jaw done dropped. Yeah. Because I don't know what. Is this Creole? Is this French? Is this like some bastard? I don't even know. I want to get to the audience what they think of this too, but I guess it's a Creole accent.

1:04:42Jason Mantzoukas:Take a listen. We fix him up good. Put bandage on it no hurt. Be strong, my boy. Duve, I've got some people after me. I know. I can smell them. You still get a 30 out of 6, the one I gave you for your birthday? No. A Gatorade. In and out. But, uh... Out. I still got your shotgun. He is... He is like... He's mad at you for business or pleasure. We can pause it for a second. He's made a choice and he's regretting it. He's in and out of it. I want to say something that is completely insane. Yeah. In this movie, right here, Wilford Brimley is nine years older than me. Currently. Wow.

1:05:40In this movie, that actor is nine years older than I am currently. what's happening how wild is that

1:05:56Jason Mantzoukas:now how's your creole accent oh them gone gators them gone gators got my crawdad oh them po' boys and them gators and them crawdads alright so Jason and I watch movies and subtitles June I know you don't like it but we're millennials so that's what we do I've actually started to do a pub I love it. I'm Gen Z. This is a moment that I saw that I couldn't hear, but it was on the screen. This is Lance Hendrickson when he's upset with one of the people. When the man is attacked by a snake, this is what I see. I'll fuck you, then I'll eat you. I heard him say this. Yeah, he said that. I was shocked.

1:06:46Jason Mantzoukas:I rewound it three times and took a picture of it just because I was like, I'll fuck you and then I'll eat you. Incredible stuff. I really feel like that was improvised. I was just going to say, I guarantee that's a Lance Hendrickson improvised line because why would you do it in that order? Fuck you and then I'll eat you. Two types of pressure. I get my workout and appetite after fucking you, so I got to chomp, chomp, eat you? I mean this is from the guy whose big line in the third act of the movie is hey like he just yells hey like like that's like I don't got it he does it twice hey hey hey how are you like it's it's I guess it's a nice moment of just pure desperation but he's so eloquent throughout that I would love to have had him yell something else like he he runs out of good lines as the movie goes on.

1:07:42One of my, again, I have so few critiques of this movie, so this is really the only one. I did, I did wish his death was a little bit better at the end. Yes. Lance Hendrickson. Yes, sorry, Lance Hendrickson. I was like, the grenade, I don't, I want a kick. You know, I want a, I want a. Well,

1:08:03Jason Mantzoukas:you want a line. Like, I want that grenade to go in his pants and then go, nuts. Okay, it's, perhaps. That's what I on it. I agree with you 100 % because here's the thing. Van Damme, known for his physicality, his kicks, his punches. That's what he's... And so, yes, in this movie he's got a lot of gunplay. Shotgun, handguns, all that stuff. Okay, I'm on board. But the final death being a grenade felt like blunt. Too clunky and clumsy to me in a way that I was like, uh-oh, there's a grenade in my pants. You wanted him to kick his neck off or something like that. Like, you wanted the throat rip equivalent.

1:08:44Jason Mantzoukas:Like, you needed the last leg, like, the last leg kick. I wanted JCVD to kick Lance Hendrickson's head off of his body. Yeah. I see a lot of notes, a lot of handwritten notes. I want you to introduce yourself and your best Wilford Brimley accent. And you say, hi, my name is this, and my question is this. All right, so here we go. Hi, my name is Caroline. Great. And my question is, like three or four times throughout the movie, birds seem to help Jean-Claude Van Damme. Okay. This is signature John Woo doves and pigeons. This is one of John Woo's artistic signatures, which is slow motion doves and, in this case, pigeons.

1:09:31Yeah. And in this case, they are actively helping Jean-Claude Van Damme find clues, do stuff. It's as if they are his allies in the thing. But it is also part of John Woo's filmmaking, if you watch the rest of his movies. But what's tough about that is, like, doves are one thing, but pigeons are so disgusting. That every time, like, when that pigeon was sitting on his shoulder, I was like, you need to bathe for one week. I sent you guys that picture. Yes, it was really... The only picture I took of the screen was when John, rather, when Jean-Claude Van Damme winks at the pigeon on his shoulder.

1:10:06I was like, they have more chemistry than him and Nat. True. And the other thing is, I do think he is able to do bird calls with his uncle because that's their special hi, it's me, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. That's their special signal that it's all clear. But I thought he was actually communicating with the pigeons, like actually communicating through calls.

1:10:35Jason Mantzoukas:Do you think that pigeon I think you might be right The pigeons are like his greatest ally until Wilford Brimley arrives I mean the pigeon doing what you just said coming in and helping him find clues is wild Listen again the police force is down so someone had to step up It was the pigeons There it is what is your name and your best Cajun accent and your question I am George Michael my question is that so a Wander Brothers executive said that Lance Hendrickson and also I believe his name is Arnold Vossoul they had great chemistry and they yeah the executive said that they regret not having a movie with them.

1:11:39If you could have a movie with them, would you want them to be a villain, like a villain duo that wins in the end, or a buddy cop comedy kind of thing going on? Oh, I think I see what you mean. For me, I would have loved... I guess there is a world in which the movie could have existed where the franchise is them. They kill JCVD at the end of this movie. They win, and they go and set up in, where were they saying, Eastern Europe they were going to go to next? And the next movie is them in Eastern Europe versus Stallone. Or them in Eastern Europe versus Nicolas Cage. Or them in, the franchise is built around the bad guys.

1:12:25Wouldn't that be cool? Well, I love that idea. I think I just, I still really struggle with the fact that they don't play fair. I mean, we haven't even talked about the opening scene when Daddy dies. But Daddy does, you know, they set up the rules like if he gets to the river, he wins. Yes. But he got there. Yeah. Oh, his fingernails on the dock.

1:12:51Jason Mantzoukas:The sound of his fingernails on the dock was harrowing. This is a question for everybody, but first to June and Jason. Is the river the dock or the river? Like, is the dock still land? Paul, he says if he gets to the river, and he's honestly beyond the river, he's more than at the river. He's over the river. He's above the river on the dock, so the river is underneath, so he certainly has reached the river's limits, and then he falls into the river itself. Yes. Well, guys, I just wanted you to hear this because this guy's yelled it out four times. Here, I'm going to come back to you. You yell it out.

1:13:28Jason Mantzoukas:Okay, here we go. Just yell what you've just been yelling. His feet fell through. He hit the river. Okay, there we go. Okay. Carhartt Overalls has that to say. You have the question. But no, but I guess the thing is, the challenge wasn't submerge your body in the river. It was get to it. I agree. Once you get to the rivers, once you pass the... They don't play by the river. And I don't like that. They play dirty. I don't like that. They play dirty. Wait, hold on. We have a bad guy defender. What do you say? Oh, I'm just saying there's a geography technicality because he starts in the French Quarter.

1:14:03The very next shot, he's on the West Bank. There's no way to get there without being in the river.

1:14:09Jason Mantzoukas:There it is. He had to be in a river. So you're saying he kind of lapped the river like he had been there twice? There's no way to cross that shit. Oh, I see. Okay, so you have to know New Orleans geography. In order to understand the technicality of the beginning of the movie? I'm so upset. So you're telling me this movie only really works in this city? Well, listen, I think what we're learning, or I guess this is my question, you know, does anyone ever get away? I mean, they've been in business for years. No, I don't think so. Nobody's gotten that 10 ,000. Because they play dirty. Although it did feel like when Perry shot that guy, they didn't seem shocked by it so that may happen a few times too but I bet you they still take the$10 ,000 and kill him because when Perry killed the hunter they're like kill him they weren't like he gets the$10 ,000 it was like kill him now it's time for second opinions

1:15:13hot target a five star movie JCVD kicking with these hunting homeless veterans through New Orleans cause it's a hot target hot target amazing great work my name's Jesse and

1:15:33Jason Mantzoukas:I like that guy that left earlier I also love you guys but I'm still here thank you Jesse you can walk down the stairs these are five star reviews cold from Amazon there are 3 ,057 reviews wow 4.6 out of 5 stars is the average. That's 76 % are 5 star, 2 % are 1 star. And these are the weirdest ones compiled by Nate Kiley. All right, so here we go. This one starts off from Gloria back in 2020. My husband loves this movie. He just can't get enough of it, which I find weird. But it's Van Damme. Five stars. Best movie of all time.

1:16:24This one's for the husbands.

1:16:29Jason Mantzoukas:This one is from Frankie D. From 2013. This is one of the best Jean-Claude Van Damme movies ever because most of his movies are crap. He cannot act. And he does the same fight scenes over and over in all of his movies. This was good because it was John Woo. The slow motion style and the two guns and a whole lot of shooting. Van Damme was serviceable. He didn't really mesh well with Woo because Van Damme likes to do a lot of kicks. And Woo likes guns. Overall, it was a good movie. Five stars. One of the best Van Damme movies ever. Didn't get that was going to be five stars. Really came in there.

1:17:17Jason Mantzoukas:this one I like from Evans Frederick from 2017 this is my favorite actor JCVD I like this movie so much I remember when I was 14 years old and that this movie came to a theater close to me I mean back home five stars

1:17:39Jason Mantzoukas:also this gentleman Scotty kind of missed the point of the review when he goes not exactly a complaint Well, this is a review section, so not either. But the package I got contained four Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. Not just Hard Target. But it did include Hard Target. So, I ain't mad. Five stars. Can you imagine the joy when you order Hard Target and three other JCVD movies are in the package? What a delight. That's Christmas come early. I mean, 100%. And this is one that I thought was disturbing. From DeJore Thomas. He writes this. I love watching this movie with my mom. I used to reenact the scenes with my toy pop gun.

1:18:28Jason Mantzoukas:Five stars. I did love that in this movie, all bullets seemed to explode to the level of a landmine every time they hit. Every bullet fired triggers a legitimate explosion. Yeah, during the warehouse scene at the end, there's a container that takes off like a rocket. Yeah. It truly... From just a single shot, it just is like... It goes up, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't even explode. No, no, yeah, yeah, exactly. It jumps up in the air. But yet this movie does the best stuntman trick of all time. Motorcycles, snake punches, exploding rockets, houses, they have the budget but they didn't have enough budget to do one scene where they just fly into moving boxes.

1:19:20Jason Mantzoukas:Just a wall of a moving truck and then just moving boxes. We crash into the moving boxes? That's like when you have no money to do stunts, you fall into moving boxes. I thought that was fun and cheap. Some facts from Nate Kiley here. Van Damme would insist on having one of the cameras focused on his muscles at all times. Woo complied, but never use that footage. I need to make that part of my contract. Yeah, you got to put that in your writer. I need people to like be, I need there to be an extra camera just trained on my bod. Yeah, figure it out, line producer. Work it in the budget. It's not my problem.

1:20:03Jason Mantzoukas:Budget,$18 million. Opening weekend,$10 million. Domestic gross,$32 million. Worldwide gross,$74 million. Great. It comes out the same year as Jurassic Park, Mrs. Doubtfire, The Fugitive. It came in 48th. It was beaten by Demolition Man, and it beat Super Mario Brothers. Look who's talking now. Surf Ninjas, Mr. Nanny, and Airborne. That's a big how did this get made year. What a great year. What a time to be alive. What a great year for film. Yeah. And the tagline is, don't hunt what you can't kill. And that is Hard Target. New Orleans. You did it. You did it. Wow. But quickly, what do we want to plug, Jason?

1:20:50Jason Mantzoukas:What do you want to tell people about? I will say that if you haven't started it, I cannot recommend highly enough the Amazon Prime series Paper Girls. And if you watch it, it's incredible. It's great. It's based on the Brian K. Vaughn and Cliff Chang comic book. And at a certain point, I am in it. I didn't know that. I'm excited. And I get to be a bad guy. It's fun. I love it. Did you take any lessons from Lance Hendrickson? Oh, boy. I wish I'd seen this movie before this. I would have absolutely taken inspiration from Lance Hendrickson, for sure. And June, what do you got? I'm in this season of Everything is Trash, Phoebe Robinson show on Freeform.

1:21:32So I'm doing a couple of episodes, and the last two that I'm in are coming out in the next few weeks.

1:21:37Jason Mantzoukas:And then I will quickly just plug. What am I going to plug? I have to look at what I put. But, oh, yeah, you can listen to Unspooled. Quentin Tarantino was on it. And every Thursday night, Rob Hubel and I, who actually work with Jean-Claude Van Damme, do a show on Twitch totally for free. If you just go to Twitch or YouTube, you can watch it there. And Star Trek Lower Decks Season 3 starts next week, which will be great. And thank you for being with us. This is a massive big show to kick us off. Thank you to Beth running the tech. First time out back on the road. Thank you, Beth. Thank you, everybody here at the Filmora.

1:22:10Jason Mantzoukas:we're going to take a post picture. Thank you everybody who was brave enough to do your second opinion song in front of a crowd of judgmental people. Wow, people are getting up and leaving. They gotta go. You know what? You gotta get home. I understand. Thank you everybody. Thank you New Orleans. Thank you for coming out. We love seeing you. Thank you so much. You did it. Nice work New Orleans. Go fuck this house.

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