The Adventures of Pinocchio LIVE! (Classic)

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29:47Jason Mantzoukas:That's Babbel, B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash bonkers for up to 60 % off. Rules and restrictions may apply. All right, so that description is disturbing. They are to be skinned for their skin. For their skin, they're turned into like drums. That's bizarre, but it does answer a big question for me because when I saw Rob Schneider, I said, is he supposed to be playing a lion? he looks to me like a performer in the Broadway version of Cats. Yes. B.B. Neuwirth doesn't look like a cat but he looks like an animal. Like he does look bizarre in this movie. He is, I was shocked when Rob Schneider came on screen.

30:31I was like, oh, what's up, what are we doing here? I mean, this is, it was, their whole subplot was fascinating because he appears to be like, like not in control of any. He is like a straight up moron throughout. Yeah. In a fascinating way. The fact that he got turned into a fox, I was like, okay, but like he should be turned into a jackass, I think. Well, he's a foxy guy. He's not a jackass, Jason. I guess so. I guess so. I mean, let's listen to a little bit of B.B. Newherth, who I thought was Kate Hudson for a majority of the film. Really? She looks like Kate Hudson. Excuse me, but haven't you two got a pushcart to rob?

31:13We've already done that. Come, Pinocchio. Oh, but your petto, darling. We were just playing with him. He'll play with his own sword, thank you. Can you pause for a second? Now, these three people are supposed to all be Italian. Correct? All three of these people are doing their Italian accents? These accents are going to come, and they're going to go. You can't hang on to them. Yeah, the context clues is that this is Italy, but, I mean, John the Taylor Thomas just speaks straight up like he's on Home Improvement. And all the kids, all, like, the kind of street-urchin kids, talk like they are, like, newsies from the 20s.

31:57Yes, or they're British. Yeah. And I'm just, like, Rob Schneider's eyebrows are on, like, another level. a lot of eyebrows a lot of a lot of like that like reddish brick color yeah i don't like that i'll tell you what was weird about this movie in a children's film to watch your main character get shot that was bizarre a bizarre moment to watch him get shot and then play himself as a recorder or some sort of musical instrument. I also thought, my whole thing was, okay, I get it. Geppetto made him a mouth. That's cool. He's got to eat. Okay, great. He likes sweets and stuff. Did Geppetto make him an asshole?

32:48Like, is he just filling up with stuff? How's he getting rid of it? Is he like a giant pinata? Are you like, at one point, should they break open his belly and everyone runs? When he gets shot, cream and sweets should come pouring out of him. It's gone nowhere else. I mean, when he sneezes, sawdust covers that teacher's face. Yeah. That teacher is standing there, by the way, waiting for him. The nose and boosh! Straight face shot of sawdust. Just like the porns I watch on Pornhub, sawdust porn. I mean, we're getting into the school part and the kids, and there is something very bizarre about this movie, besides everything that we've just mentioned for the last 40 minutes.

33:41It's the fact that no one has any real, like, reaction to there's a wooden boy walking and living amongst them. Yes. geppetto geppetto never once tries to hide it like when when pinocchio gets out of the house geppetto just picks him up is like oh my god picks him up and walks hand in hand with him rather than carrying him so that nobody will see like an enchanted puppet is walking through the streets of italy yep um and everybody's like oh cool cool man what's that magic puppet Hey, they give him a nickname. Hey, Woody. You know, they start to punch him. They throw balls at him. Like, no one's frightened by him.

34:28He is a part of society, which makes me go, did he do this before? I don't know. I like, is this a town where this happens? How does Pinocchio end up matriculating in school? How does he get a desk? How does he know to go there? How does he get, what, did the attendance get called? pinocchio new student pinocchio here like how did that happen i mean simply it happened the same way that everything in this movie happens he just sees something and gets in line yeah then he's there on a bus going to school he just simply sees a line of boys and just tags on to the end i mean there are worse ways to go through life than to just sort of tagging along at the end of a line of boys?

35:16Is that what you're suggesting? They're probably going somewhere. I'll give it a try, but I can't imagine it going well. What's the story? You guys getting on this school bus? Alright, I'll do it. You have to remember, there's quite literally nothing in his head. There's nothing inside his head. How does he know anything? How does he know anything? Well, that's the weird thing about him. He knows enough when he's immediately born to give Geppetto a bar of soap for the bath. Well, he crawls in with him. But then doesn't know other simple things. Like, he'll be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. All right, weird.

36:01Yeah, there are some weird things. I just want to say one thing about the school. And I think this is about, you know, I just want to say, like, this is where Italian schools are so great. You just show up any day. They'll put you in. And, you know, it's not like American school system. It's a real good school system there. You're really negative on American schools. Also, I guess girls just don't go to school there in Italy. Yeah, are there many women? There's not many. Yeah, there's not many. There's no. I don't think I saw any young girls at all in this film. There's a couple who are watching the puppet show.

36:36Okay. And that's it. The puppet show, by the way, that music was all done by Brian May from Queen. Oh, wow. He wrote a seven-minute puppet opera for that. You can hear it on the soundtrack, which also includes a song from Stevie Wonder. To be fair, also, there will be more girls in class when Geppetto gets around to carving them. That's true. I felt like the fun that we didn't have in this movie and the scenes that I wanted to see were, and maybe I'm remembering the cartoon? Yeah. Yeah, but we never got to see him also pretend to be a puppet. Like, have to, there's one scene where he just sort of falls asleep.

37:21But the sheer comedy of watching him have to pretend to have strings and be a puppet when he is a well, not boy, but whatever he is. A sentient log? A sentient dog.

37:38I felt like we there were just so many missed opportunities there. There was also very little of what I consider to be Pinocchio's like true thing which is there was very little lying. There was very little nose growing because he lied. I thought that was the whole thing. I thought that was Pinocchio's like whole with great power comes great responsibility. You know whole thing. They kind of blew it out in that school room scene. It grew so big so fast, so oddly phallically, too. You're like, never again. I've learned my lesson by watching that nose grow so dramatically. Do you have the scene in the whale?

38:19This is the scene. This is overtly sexual. So they're in the... Pinocchio and Geppetto have been swallowed by the Lorenzini once he's turned into the sea monster. So they're both in the monster's belly, and they crawl all the way to the monster's throat, but it's too tight to get through. They can't... Can you go... Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's too tight to get through. So Pinocchio's idea is he'll use his nose to stretch out or irritate the animal so that they can get expelled, basically. So basically, they do reverse bulimia here, and they make him puke from the inside with his long, long nose. But by the way, they could have totally gotten out through that throat hole.

39:09This first moment where Pinocchio's nose enters frame while he and Martin Landau are in the same shot is pretty sexual, I think.

39:23Eye contact. Eye contact. I know what I have to do. I hate you, Papa. What? I never ever missed you. It's a lie.

39:42I wish I never found you. It's going right to his mouth. Right towards his mouth. I never wanted to be you, so I want to stay in public. I mean, what? It's a... What? It's such a bold shot to just have the nose, the flesh-colored nose, enter frame. It's a lie. the story the story of pinocchio and maybe i didn't watch it that closely as a child but the story was always this is a this is a puppet who lies too much and his nose grows bigger he does want to be a real boy but in order to become a real boy he has to stop lying and start telling the truth and that's how he becomes a real boy i also thought that it was there was morals throughout but the nose never stopped like the nose growing was always a thing here it just kind have stopped like he never grew again and he seemed to tell lies later in the movie too like mostly like you know wouldn't each adventure involve lying or not or learning lessons that are significant towards becoming a a better person thus warranting becoming a human boy and following through on being the best possible version isn't it a morality tale each each of them should be something a lesson learned i think that that was what they were trying to do but they also introduced like the moral compass of him so late in the movie.

41:03Like that Pepe character comes in so late. I mean, because here he goes. This is Jiminy Cricket talking about miracles. So strong talk strong talk out of the woods, huh? What are you doing now? Watching the clock. Why? So I can buy a miracle. Any particular brand? Real boy brand. Here's how it works. You dig a hole, you plant your gold, you let it cook, and... The first lesson about trust is learning whom to trust. Didn't this gold deal seem a little shaky? I don't know. A little. And let me guess, you ignored your instincts, didn't you?

41:45Jason Mantzoukas:Maybe. By the way, we're watching CGI... We're watching CGI on top of CGI here. It's like they've created a character that really... What you said, it looks so bad. And then it's on top of something that doesn't look great either. and this is a long scene between two CGI characters who are not there and don't look good together they don't look like they're in the same world it is clunky as fuck this stuff Wallace Shawn was the original voice of this cricket was in the trailer and they said and the voice of the cricket Wallace Shawn but something happened and he is not the voice of the cricket in the movie but this is where he kind of tells Pinocchio is maybe to the president of the cricket union.

42:32He keeps on saying he's the president of the cricket union, and union rules say that he has to stay with Pinocchio, but are crickets moralistic creatures? Well, that's like, is there a cricket? Are crickets in this world like guardian angels? One is assigned to a boy or a child and is meant to look after? I don't know. I don't know. I also could not understand the cricket. I just simply could not hear what was being said. But talk about your papa, or I'll be falling down on the job. No! Look. Again, I watch everything with subtitles on, so I'm mostly just reading. I forced... Paul tried to watch this movie with subtitles on, and I turned it off.

43:25It's true. You want to enjoy the magic of the cinema that's happening. You respect the visual image. I prefer to watch my movies than read them. But yet, one of the characters you could not understand. That's part of the joy of movie watching. Maybe they wanted it that way. Well, clearly, we have some questions about this movie. We've barely kind of tackled many of them. Wait, I'm sorry. Have we even talked about this movie? I mean, we are getting into it where I wanted to open it up, but I... Landau bathes in clothes. Puppet tries to get in bath with him? Question mark! Exclamation point! How does he know how to talk?

44:07Question mark! Question mark! He does impressions. Why doesn't... Nose boner. Go ahead. What was it?

44:17Why doesn't Leona freak out that the puppet can talk and walk, etc.? I wrote down this. I wrote down this isn't his job. because Gepetto goes, you keep each other busy while I'm at work. So he just makes all those fucking puppets for fun. And then Leona says, oh, I've made these clothes for puppets. And I'm like, is there so much puppet commerce going on in this town? Well, Lorenzini's basically thinks he's going to get rich with a puppet show for kids, which itself is gold. And the parents don't attend. The parents don't attend with the children either. That's like, go out, go see your puppet show.

44:58We'll be back. I mean, okay, here we go. How does he have teeth? How does Pinocchio have a full set of white human teeth? I'll get one better. How does eating hot peppers translate into breathing fire? Great. This man eats a chili pepper, blows into a horn, and creates more fire than a giant flamethrower. All of a sudden, it looks like once upon a time in Hollywood, and he's got these chili peppers to thank. He gets... During the production of his play, Pinocchio gets paid mid-show. That's as if someone walked on stage currently and gave me this show's income. he's like backstage and learns and he's like show's going great pinocchio listen here are the gold here's the gold i owe you you're gonna be a star everything's great he's like quick you're on what also pinocchio seemingly falls into a puppet orchestra because the conductor is a puppet yes and then i was like wait so are puppeteers like control like if they are controlling musician puppets.

46:22That's some amazing puppeteer work. I assumed in the pit were real musicians and a real conductor. And that the puppet conductor was part of the show. Yeah, but my question was also what are the puppeteers making of Pinocchio? I mean... That's a threat. They're doing, of course... That's a threat to their livelihood. Their whole industry is about to collapse before their very eyes. Puppeteers should want this kid dead. Yeah. I don't know. It might catch to the other marionettes. Maybe they're going to become alive. That's an adventure. When the puppeteer's union joins up with the cricket's union to eradicate Pinocchio.

47:09I mean, this is really a union story. I mean, union all the way. I would love it if in the sequel, Pinocchio steals an apple and turns back into a wooden boy? A wooden puppet?

47:25You don't have to like it. I really didn't like... I really didn't like... I was surprised at the end to realize how attached I was to Pinocchio, the wooden puppet, because I really did not like seeing his ears gnawed off like that. Or ripped off, too. The donkey ears are ripped off. Yeah, they're ripped off there's just those sharp edges those sharp edges don't you think that his ears should be deformed like he should have like cauliflower ears when he turns into a boy because of that because at the end they make like at the end it feels like someone goes yeah what happened to all those boys who returned to donkeys and the narrator quickly is like oh yeah they all got fixed wow where was the serum we didn't see that scene i saw a donkey walking with pinocchio and that donkey is going to live...

48:16I feel like those boys did not turn back into humans, but they just are glossing over that. Hey, you win some, you lose some. I mean, this reminds me of a story my grandmother used to tell. Oh, God. Let's all prepare ourselves. My grandmother used to tell me this story when I was a kid that I needed to lock the door to my house because when she lived in Garden City, this is where my grandmother lived in New York, she's like, when I lived in Garden City, there was a little boy and he didn't lock his door. And one day, he was in his bed. I already know this is deeply irresponsible of her to have said.

49:01And he heard footsteps coming up the stairs slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. And then he got really nervous and he got under his bed and he was under the sheets and the door opened, creaked out. And then the boy looked and it was the local butcher and he got scared and then all of a sudden the butcher grabbed him. And the mom came home. The boy wasn't there. She brought home her chop meat. No, Paul, stop. Stop it right now. What are you talking about? Paul. You're a great boy. And what? And the mother... What are you talking about? And then as the mother was making hamburgers for her son, she started making hamburgers, that the hamburger meat started like, Mama?

49:52No! Mama? Wait. Paul, no. The chopped meat? No. The meat knew? Because the meat was the boy? The meat, but the... But that, again, that's... No, once it's turned into meat, the kid wouldn't know. at that point it's just meat you know oh i am real i am shaken on my insides my grandmother was a part of the cricket union so i will put that out there what are you talking about every step of that story is fundamentally irresponsible and i told you a much abbreviated version of it that the butcher came so you so your grandmother lived in garden city in an environment where meat was so scarce that the local butcher would go house to house looking for unlocked doors and kids left alone at home yep i was a latchkey kid was this because you were a latchkey kid yep so she she was trying to get you when you came home from school before your parents came home from work to lock that door.

51:05And her, yeah, I get that. I mean, that probably wasn't effective. Did she ever hire someone in a butcher's apron to just stand outside your window?

51:27Sharpening those knives. Chop it up. Wow. Oh, boy. That could be the t-shirt. The t-shirt could be the butcher outside the window. As I'm telling you the story, I'm realizing that I think the element that I've messed up is that the burger meat was already frying when the boy says it. So the meat is ready to be eaten at that point. It's not that much worse. It's not like, I mean, whether it's cooking or not, the kid's still been through the chop. But I think the addendum was, and then she did serve it. And then she served it? To who? Her husband. So they, this is starting to fall apart. I remember, like, a boy being eaten, too.

52:13But I know that this memory of the mama, mama, like, that's where I cut off. And I think that she may have just added that they ate him as well. But that feels like a cruel twist at the end. It's a total snowpiercer. All right, well then, should I not tell you the second story? Because now you're telling me this, it makes me realize this. I mean, this seems more like in good fun. I think this is in good fun. Wait, hamburger story was in good fun? No, this story I'm about to tell you, but maybe it is my perspective of it. Okay. I am changed. This is... I really am. So... Do you ever catch Paul telling your children similar...

53:01No, and that's what I feel like I have to say. You know, Paul is such a wonderful man. He really is. It's so shocking to hear these things. Go ahead. Let me tell you this story, and then you can tell me for my barometer's sake if I'm off or not. The first time I ever had a camping thing with my friends, I had two friends over where we put tents up in the backyard. Before we went out there for the night, my stepfather called us into the living room and said, guys, I don't want you guys camping out in the backyard because there's a police report on TV that a serial killer just escaped prison.

53:48And he's a loose, and they said for us to lock our doors. But the kids came over to do camping out in the backyard. and so we know we really want to camp out we really want to camp out and he's like okay you can camp out in the backyard and then we camped out in the backyard and in the middle of the night we would hear this noise like and then he would basically run into our tent and go ah and then we all got really scared Oh, you think? Oh, you got real scared, huh? And I was about eight or nine.

54:33That is so young. To even tell an eight or nine-year-old about a serial killer is insane. To even make an eight-year-old aware of the concept of murder for pleasure. or compulsive murder. To explain that is insane to three eight-year-olds. Never mind, then represent yourself as that serial killer throughout. Those kids are somewhere telling this story right now. I didn't remember that until right now, but I always thought that was a fun night, a fun camping night. Was your stepfather Ted Bundy? Kind of. So, I mean...

55:31We're having fun, Chicago. What a great town.

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58:51Jason Mantzoukas:The styles sell out. So don't sit on it. That's Z-E-N-N-I.com slash podcast promo code podcast 15. Maybe we should go into the audience. Yeah, I'm going to start crying. We need a palate cleanser. All right, but before we do, I'm going to put on my special hat.

59:13I'll hold the mic hat. This is just so. Can we get house lights? All right, so here we go. I want you to introduce yourself with your Italian name. We heard a lot of great Italian names here tonight. So introduce yourself with your Italian name, and let me hear your question. Yes, you, ma 'am. Come over here. What's your Italian name and what's your question? Here we go. Justino. Great. And your question? My question is, when Geppetto created that puppet inside the monster with, like, the spare fish parts and eyeballs, what did he use to keep it together? Fishing wire. Fishing line. But by the way...

59:53Why didn't that fish boy come to life? But by the way, that monster had only been alive for minutes because he drank the water, his eyes bugged out, and I guess his inner creature was a giant whale seaman. I mean, that was a bizarre connection. It should have been like a rat or something. All right, we're up here in the balcony with someone wearing a how dare you shirt. It's a June homemade shirt. It says, how dare you. From our Drop Dead Fred episode, your name in Italian, your affiliation, and your question. My legit Italian name is Nicole Isabella Sono Cacciano. I'm a team Sanity. Actually, the shirt is for The Late Show.

1:00:47Okay, got it. Yeah. So my question, comment. And so everybody, you know, you've been saying that everyone doesn't really see Pinocchio as a puppet. Except Don French, the baker's wife. She's the only one who sees him and fucking flips out. She's screaming. She's throwing things all over the place. She's the only woke person in this entire movie. Or is she not woke because she sees differences and freaked out? But that's a good point. I think, oh, see, I thought she was just mad. I thought she was mad he was ruining her food. Well, he was eating all the cream. You know, I don't think she was afraid of Pinocchio.

1:01:32I think she was upset that he was ruining all the food she'd made for the wedding. Wasn't that it? She's saying, get out of here, you know, whatever. I also thought she was like, this is a creature. I'm scared of this creature. I must kill it. Like, I feel like if it was a boy, she wouldn't be throwing pots at its head. I don't know. I think she probably would. I think she would. I mean, she's... Remember, she's Italian. Fair point. Sir, your name, your affiliation, your question. My name is Gregory. Great Italian name. Team Sanity. You don't think it's Gregorio? My question is, since nobody in this town seems to be able to tell the difference between a boy and a puppet, why wouldn't the guy just hire boys to be in his show?

1:02:24Great question. Finally getting somewhere with the balcony. All right.

1:02:35Because, I mean, the simple answer is, well, Pinocchio does look... Well, yeah, but I guess no. I guess they are... It's a marionette show. What are we talking about? We're not going to hire children. Yeah. And what, tie strings to their arms? Oh, yeah. You don't think they're upside team sanity? You think that it's okay to just tie strings to kids' arms? Oh, no, no, no, no. You're right, Jason. There's a lot of, uh, this guy really cared about the kids. That's why he turned them into donkeys. To skin them. Hey. To make drums. We, Italy. Needs skins. All right, ma 'am. How about your question?

1:03:14Your name, your affiliation, your question. Okay, my name is Milan. Didn't make that up. Team Sanity. Okay, great. Thank you. So my question is, at the end of the movie, they say that the donkeys turn back to kids based on doing good deeds. How do donkeys do good deeds?

1:03:45I mean, come on. Donkeys can do good deeds all the time. Donkey, they can, like, pull the carts at a soup kitchen. Yeah, I mean, donkeys, I think of donkeys as, like, as worker animals. Didn't donkey do a lot of good deeds in the Shrek movies? Yeah. To answer your question, Team Sanity, lots of ways. Because here's what I think. When I look at donkeys, I don't think their net energy is negative. They are capable of positive actions. Maybe it's Team Sanity thinking that things donkeys can only be bad Ma 'am, your name, your affiliation, your question Uh, Jacqueline Great Thank you Can we talk about the point of view shots from Pinocchio Where he's basically like a serial killer shot?

1:04:32Yeah Was it like Friday the 13th inspired? It was frightening A lot of the CG characters had point-of-view shots in order to make them cheaper. It's cheaper to shoot point-of-view shots than to have the CG shots of them doing stuff. So they would do that a lot, and I agree it was very unsettling. All right, everybody, clearly we had opinions about this movie, but now it is time for... Why do I feel like you guys are part of an acapella singing group? Now it's time for... They have a pitch pipe! I fucking called it!

1:05:13Alright, we are literally getting told to get off stage. Here we go. Now it's time for second opinions. When you rate films five stars Makes no difference who you are Anything you type will go on Amazon Amazing! Give it up for Clem, Melissa, Ashley, and James! These are five-star opinions called from Amazon. There were 69 total reviews for the film. 67 five-star reviews. And here we go. This is all compiled by Nate Kiley. This one starts off from Marianne Fidelli. She goes, it's what I wanted. Five stars.

1:06:20She needs to be on a watch list of some sort. Well, Yurie, can you go back to the preferred Pinocchio image, please? I'm staying right here and waiting for my mirror. Your papa won. All right.

1:06:38This one. Just so you can remember, this is the movie the person wrote the review about. This one is written by Cheryl. It says this. This is an unusual production of Pinocchio. You think? My teenage son said it gave him nightmares. Five stars Okay, I don't think she understood this The rating system That's a mom That's a mom who Parents like your grandmother Georgia Galeri writes A must buy for children And child daycare centers Five stars I don't think we should be putting this In the child daycare center This one is from Linda S. Kaufman. She writes, My sister's granddaughter loves it. Five stars.

1:07:36Kind of a delayed... Alright, sure. What should I do today? I should write Amazon reviews for my niece's favorite movies. Or my grandniece. And we will end on this one by A. Herrenberg, which writes this, Kids films nowadays are pillow soft when it comes to scary moments, but this movie was dropped like a ton of bricks on 90s kids. Pinocchio's story pretty much follows the course of a classic fairy tale, starting out whimsical before taking a dark turn. And I mean seriously dark. I wasn't terrified as a kid, but I'm willing to bet others in the two to six-year-old crowd were petrified. Two?

1:08:26Five motherfucking stars. Oh, boy.

1:08:36Before we get into whether or not we'd recommend this movie, because I think it's pretty clear what we think about this movie, I wanted to bring up this little piece of trivia that I found about it, which is Averill Halley, our producer on the show, she finds all these movies. She found this terror nightscape for you. Also found that this movie spun off a CD-ROM interactive video game starring one of the stars of Ladybugs. And I just wanted to show you, this is the girl from Ladybugs, if you remember. So here is... She was the one that Rodney Dangerfield is like, Don't worry. When you get older, you're going to be pretty and everybody's going to like you or something like that.

1:09:23Yes, exactly. So now here's You Are the New Pinocchio. Martin Landau talks to you like this. How are you going to be able to find Pinocchio? You're not even made of wood. We'll help. So you get to follow along with her, and then this is where it gets terrifying. At the end of the game, when she's talking to the donkey boys. Oh, turn this off right now. No. That's a donkey girl? Yep.

1:09:54It could never happen to me. It just did.

1:10:04This game is straight up terrifying. That's a game? That is a CD-ROM interactive game that just took out all the choices. And by the way, this movie throws around the word jackass a lot for a kid's film. And is it like a jerk-off game? Asking for a friend. The movie came out in 1996. The tagline was, it's a new angle on a classic tale, and that's no lie. And here's the thing. the budget for this movie, $25 million. What year? 96. Wow. Opening weekend, 3.8 million. Wow. By the way, that's not nothing. No, the movie came in, you know. I think the people probably went to go see JTT. It's at the height of JTT Madness.

1:11:02The movie came in 100 out of all the movies made in 1996. The top three were Independence Day, Twister, Mission Impossible, It was beaten by Jingle All the Way, Dragonheart, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Escape from L.A., The Quest, The Glimmer Man, Kazam, and The Phantom. But it beat Barbed Wire and Lawnmower Man 2, which we didn't cover on this show. But that's a little fact about it. Wait, there was a Lawnmower Man sequel? Yep, Lawnmower Man 2 beyond cyberspace. Oh, God. Jesus Christ. Jason June I go to you now would you recommend this movie? Of course not. No. You don't even think it's interesting to watch a little bit?

1:11:48I don't. I didn't care for it and it was not fun enough. I have to spend time erasing some images and imagery that I saw. Now to be fair after this scene I came and went to sleep. The scene, of course, Jason's referring to is when Pinocchio has cream all over his mouth. That's what we have as our still frame for the whole show. This visual. What I want to just point out, you can search this picture at home. If you type in Pinocchio image, this normally comes up. This is not a shot that someone took. This is a press photo for the movie. No! Yes, that's why it has the watermarking on it. So someone thought that this representation of an open-mouth Pinocchio with white cream all over his mouth was the right way to advertise.

1:12:41This leads me to believe there was a cut of this movie that was a porno. That, like, when Pinocchio would leave Martin Landau, he would get up into, like, sexy Italian adventures. By the way, this puppet took nine months to create and operated by 12 different technicians, 12 different people to control this masterpiece. I didn't like the scene. I'm sorry, I'm just noticing a few things. I did not like when his flesh, when the wood started to turn into flesh. Yeah. I thought that was very creepy and unsettling to look at. Yeah, at that point it was a relief because it was almost, you knew it was going to be over.

1:13:26And the tear goes and yeah. I don't like that. Yeah, it's his... Yeah. And by the way, when he does turn into a real boy, that version of the puppet looks just like Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Like, for a second, you see it perfectly. Well, it is Jonathan Taylor Thomas. But no, like, right before, like, when it's like this, you'll see it like that. Yeah, he looks closer to him. Oh, I see, I see. Maybe that was a little CGI. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if I would recommend this movie either, but it's so bizarre and so weird. I don't know if you would. I feel like there are some choice nuggets in here that are worth watching because it just keeps on going.

1:14:07It's a movie that when I would turn away for just merely two or three seconds, I was completely lost as if hours had passed. So now what's happening? It's like Game of Thrones. We watched it together and we had to recap scenes over and over again. We simply were losing the thread. I want to be clear. for this audience here and the one at home, you would not recommend watching Drop Dead Fred, but you would recommend watching The Adventures of Pinocchio. First of all. This is a classic Team Sanity point of view. First of all, I don't think that I ever went on record and said I would not recommend watching Team Fred.

1:14:48I just said it's not a good movie. Anyway, people, that show was a lot of fun. And now we have to wrap it up. We have to say. No, if it was between this and Drop Dead Fred, I'd say watch this. Yes. Wow. Oh, come on now. So, okay. I know it's all fun. I know it's fun to have a friendly rivalry. There's a lot of energy around it. It's a good time, but seriously. No, I would watch Drop Dead Fred over this. Thank you. I would, yes, indeed. Just for the pain, this has scarred me on a deep, deep level. All right, so Jason, June, we have done it. We have had many adventures with this Pinocchio character, and there's one last thing for us to do, that is to say goodnight.

1:15:38Thank you, Chicago!

1:15:41Jason Mantzoukas:Hey, everybody, that is our show live from Chicago. Woo, boy, that was a big one. We are continuing the conversation about Pinocchio, and it does need to continue on the mini episode, which will be next week. And I implore you, I urge you to check in on what we're doing on the mini episodes. I see that the listenership is going up and I'm loving it and we're doing more and new different stuff. And one of the best parts about it is not only talking about the movie that we are talking about on the episode, this course will be Pinocchio next week, but we're also talking about you. I'm getting to hear about all of your jobs, your love, your life.

1:16:16Jason Mantzoukas:I'm giving you advice along with Devin and Cody. We're breaking it all down for you. So head on over to the mini episode next week to continue the conversation about Pinocchio. And if you want to call in, you can at 619-PAUL-ASK. That's 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K. So continue the conversation about Pinocchio right there. Also wanted to let you know that Grace and Frankie Season 6 is on Netflix right now. If you've not watched A Good Place, well, you're missing out on Jason and I. It's the final season and a great season at that. So many great appearances. And what an amazing finale this past week. So if you've missed out, catch up.

1:16:52Jason Mantzoukas:You are going to see some of us on there. Also, what else do I want to tell you? Oh, boy, so much good stuff. Black Monday Season 2 trailer dropped. So that's online right now. Check that out. It's really fun. It gives you a little taste of what you're in store for in Black Monday Season 2, which starts March 15th. A big shout out and thank you to Averill Halley, one of our producers, for pulling this amazing movie. I mean, she really opened our eyes to a lot of stuff. Nick Kiley for doing all that amazing research. Devin, of course, who travels across country with us. Our producer, Cody, here at Earwolf Studios.

1:17:26Jason Mantzoukas:Everybody at Earwolf. And we will see you next week for a mini episode. And if you're bored or you just miss how did this get made in the meantime, well, head on over to tpublic.com slash store slash HDTGM to get your official Pinocchio shirt. And if you really just want to reach out and chat, you can do that with me. You can give me a call at, or not call, a text, please. Just a text. 917-877-0657. Let's do it, people. See you next week for How to Skip Made mini episode. Hi, I'm Jenny Slate. And believe it or not, someone is allowing us to have a podcast. I'm Gabe Leidman. I'm Max Silvestri. And we've been friends for 20 years.

1:18:05And we like to reach out to kind of get advice on how to live our lives. It's called I Need You Guys. Should I give my baby fresh vegetables? Can I drink the water at the hospital? My landlord plays the trombone, and I can't ask him to stop. You should make sure that you subscribe so that you never miss an episode. I need you, girl.

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