The Dirt Bike Kid (Classic)

22:40Jason Mantzoukas:He was doing some insurmountable tasks for his age, in my opinion. How old is he? That's exactly what I was going to ask. because I wrote down at one point, how old is this kid? Because how old are all of these kids? Because I was going to say 12. Okay. 12? I hope 12 because actually it was his little best friend who's obsessed with boobs and is like very sexual. It made me so uncomfortable because I was like, oh, is he 10 or 9 or 12? That's really different. Because that to me, that kid, I was like, when I wrote, when I watched that, I was like, oh, that's right. The 80s trope of the young kid perv.

23:19is such a thing that is not done anymore, doesn't exist, but was so prevalent in these movies of this time is that there was always a kid who was always looking at boobs and butts and he's talking about girls and all this stuff. And he's like Peter Billings. He's his best friend.

23:37Jason Mantzoukas:And we know that he's a little bit more of a cad because he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt. And I feel like that was a big deal. Even in Splash, John Candy, when we were introduced to him, I think as a kid, His game was that he would spill change on the ground and then terrible habits to teach children and pick up the change to look up women's skirts. But like the same energy was like where he doesn't care about the dirt bikes. He just cares about the boobs. Peter Billingsley. Bo is that kid's name. And he says this line, which I think best sums up who Bo is. He says after after Peter Billingsley has told him all about like the motorbike, the dirt bike rather take flying around and taking him on this big adventure.

24:18The kid goes, I don't believe in fairy tales. I believe in Playboy magazine. I was like, this kid is insane. Yeah. I mean, I had a hard time that I had a hard time with this movie because of those reasons, like the sexualizing. these young boys or making them like these lustful, you know, pubescent kids was just uncomfortable. And then the boss and I mean, I don't know, I've actually had a moment where I was watching this where I was like, wow, I just consumed so much of rape culture as a child that I did not even I wasn't even able to identify it. It was just it just was what movies were. Oh, no.

25:09And I didn't question it. And it was just like, oh, that's what we do to women. That's what we all, that's it. I mean, he. And it's inside of like, that's what the villain does. Like the Stuart Pankin character is the villain. And he behaves reprehensible towards women. And that's the way it's kind of framed. But it is behavior that is like across the board, insane. And not just like once, but is repeatedly reinforced. And not only that. That he is like a predator. He's a predator. But not only that, there's that moment that really I wanted to cry when the mom is explaining to Jack why she's not taking the job.

25:49And she says, like, oh, there were other reasons. And he goes, oh, that it was such a bummer because it was like, oh, this child understands this. And this child doesn't question this. And this child has accepted that this is the way of the world. and there's nothing to be done about it because this is how we understand things to go. And it was just, it really, this movie really depressed me. And I swear I won't cause any more trouble. Oh, and mom, I'm really sorry about costing you that job. Really, I am. It doesn't matter. I don't think I could have lasted very long with Mr. Hodgkins anyway.

26:29He wasn't interested in my abilities. What was he interested in? Nevermind. Oh, that.

26:39Jason Mantzoukas:Yeah, that scene, this kid has been through a lot. Maybe I take it back that the mom, look, the mom is being hit on pretty hard by Mr. Hodgkins, who they say his name so many times in this movie. I love a movie where... Well, because it's also the name of the bank, too. Yes. So it is, yes. It's constantly being said. We will actually do a little montage of all the Hodgkins later on. Averill cut together an amazing Hodgkins clip. But yeah, there's something so weird with this movie because it goes against everything that this movie should be. And it keeps on taking detours. And at the same time, nothing is happening.

27:22Jason Mantzoukas:But the movie is so long. It's almost interminable to get through. It keeps setting things up that aren't real. So like we were saying, at the beginning, Peter Billingsley goes to a dirt bike race. And so you think, okay, he's going to get a dirt bike, which he immediately does. From a weird man, by the way. Can we just talk about this weird man? We got to talk about this creep. We got to talk about this creep at the dirt bike race, who is like the creep who owns the bike? What is his? I don't know. He's a god or a Santa or? Like a BMX god? But I'd give for a bike like that. Oh, that bike is special.

28:06Special?

28:07Jason Mantzoukas:Oh, yes. But it needs the right rider to make it special. That boy doesn't deserve it. I'm going to have to buy it back. This old man comes up to him at the thing and says, well, that's a very special bike, but it takes a special ride or something like that. And he says it with this real creepy weight. And he's like a stone cold creep. Oh, he looks like he looks like what's the gentleman who used to write all those poems? Shel Silverstein. Like, like, like he looks like that mixed with that guy who used to do religious programming on on like PBS. A big white beard. And and just he's very he's too kindly.

28:46Jason Mantzoukas:I didn't trust him because he was almost too kindly. And he and classic grooming like here have this special bite. It was really uncomfortable. Which is why I was glad he never recurred. He never came back. Well, until the end. Until the end when he gives it to another kid. But I mean, he never came back into Peter Billingsley's life. He wasn't like, Peter Billingsley isn't like doing his bidding or Peter Billingsley doesn't have to interact with him again. He's just transactionally there to make sure that the bike gets where it needs to go. Because at one point. Well, because at one point I thought, oh, the personality of the bike.

29:22because I thought the bike was pretty creepy and lacked a personality. That is that guy. Wait a second. You think that he is the bike? I don't think so. Here's why. Because when the bike wants to communicate with Peter Billingsley, he has to use the computer. And if he was the old man, the old man would just show up and be like, I need to tell you this.

29:41Jason Mantzoukas:What if the old man showed up in his window and like, hey. That's what I mean. Like the old man would have said something. But instead the bike uses the computer to talk to Peter Billingsley. And just uses like pictographs. Like he accesses the computer to say computer telephone or he says like telephone lines, bank, telephone lines, bank. Like that's how he's communicating with him. Yeah, it's crazy. So anyway, what I was going to say is so at first it seems like it's going to be, oh, he's going to get a bike and then he's going to enter the race and that's what the movie is going to be like.

30:11No. Then it's about Little League. So it's about his scrappy team that is part of Mike's hot dog store. Bad News Bears. Versus, exactly, versus the Richie Rich bank team. And so I was like, oh, that's going to be the movie. The movie is going to be this rivalry between the scrappy Bad News Bears kids and them. Nope, that's not the movie either. Nope. It's really about this kid versus the bank. Because the bank is going to close down the hot dog store.

30:37Jason Mantzoukas:And his commitment to it is that it's his baseball team's managers. Like, it's the place where they hang out after the games. But it seems like this kid doesn't care that much about baseball when his mother also has a job. They never play another game. They play a baseball game at minute seven and they never play another game. OK, and not only that, but like why did the Richie Rich Bank kids, the Richie Rich Bank kids team also goes to the hot dog store for some after game fun. So wouldn't they, why do they want that bank there? Wouldn't they also want to keep that fun hot dog store? Well, we find out through a tremendous amount of insanity that Stuart Penkin actually has no money and that he owns land.

31:21Jason Mantzoukas:And when they're breaking into the game. That was so complicated. We rewound it. By the way, we rewound this movie. Two times? Well, I did, too. You know what I kept doing? I kept stopping watching it because I was like, this is crazy. I don't know what's, I'm like, I'm like stressed out about this. And I had to stop and come back like 20 minutes later. We were watching it down. We were watching it on Pluto TV and they're about Stuart Pankin. When the woman flees out of Stuart Pankin's window and he goes, that's the second one today. I'm going to have to put bars on these windows. And it's the afternoon.

31:52I was like, what is this movie?

31:54Jason Mantzoukas:No, I mean, Stuart Pankin uses a dog, uses a dog to trap a woman in his study that he is trying to. I mean, by the way, I believe that he's doing it multiple times a day because when he is trying to woo Peter Billings, his mom, he pulls out champagne and the champagne doesn't have a pop it kind of has a like it like almost like he shoved it back down there was a a lack of a pop which means that he has already tried to give another woman champagne there and by the way why does this bank need such a large building like why would it need like a tower something this gets at something else i want to talk about which is the movie is 100 % small town America.

32:35Would you guys agree? Yes. Right? It feels like everybody knows each other's business. Even when he flies. Everybody knows each other. Even when he flies over the town, there's no landmarks though. When he flies, it's skyscrapers. He's flying over a city with skyscrapers in it. Oh, you're right. And I'm like, where the fuck is it?

32:55Jason Mantzoukas:It's the same green screen they use in Supergirl, by the way. That's what it is. They're flying over Los Angeles, but he lands in like Ohio or something like that. You know what I mean? Like I was like, this doesn't add up at all. Like I get it. So Stuart Pankin seems to be like building a big city bank, but the town is miniature. You know, the town feels so small. Again, why would you need, like Stuart Pankin's bank seemed very like - Mom and pop. The board of directors is four people. Right. The board of directors is four people. And the board of directors, and he seems to be the face of the bank in so many ways.

33:28Jason Mantzoukas:So much so that like like when they walk into the bank, it says like good rates, good service, good banker. And it's all these really terrible photos they clearly took with Stuart Pankin like during a costume fitting day. Like if you look around at every photo in this, it's like just a tight close up of Stuart Pankin's face. And they and they've put it in frames on walls. It's all over the place. I love that Stuart Pankin also in the bank. Well, actually, a couple of times also during the press conference. He acts as though the models that project what this building is going to look like that will take over Mike's hot dog shop are the thing itself.

34:06Like when they get destroyed by the bike, because the bike. Right. Yes. Yes. Not the actual.

34:11Jason Mantzoukas:They're not women models. The the the. Sorry. The sort of like. Wait, were there women? No, I just for people who are not going to clearly watch this movie. I wanted to make sure that it was clear that. Yes, there are architectural models. of the bank. Yes, like little dollhouses. The main sort of action sequences in this movie are the bike heading into indoor spaces. Like the bike is constantly riding into the bank, okay? And crashing into these model structures. And Stuart Pink is behaving as though the bank itself has been crashed into or that his project has been destroyed because these little sculptures have been destroyed.

34:59It's very strange.

35:00Jason Mantzoukas:By the way, this reeked of ladybugs to me. It felt the same way. Like an obscene loyalty to a tabletop architecture of what the future will be. And it's, oh, no, no, no, my buildings, my buildings. And the motorcycle, I have to say, is very ginger because when it does even jump up on the table and use its front wheel to kind of crash the model, it doesn't really destroy it. It just kind of like knocks it down like a house of cards. And to be clear, like what's happening in the movie is that Peter Billingsley is on the dirt bike. This is a motorized, this is a motorcycle. This is a small motorcycle.

35:44Right, yeah, this is not a BMX bike, yeah. Just so everybody understands, this is not a bike you pedal. This has a motor and it goes fast. But what, Jason, is the difference between a motorbike and a motorcycle? I think it's just my guess would be the size of the engine such that like so like a moped or a motorbike is like it has a smaller engine and can only go so fast. And a motorcycle has a bigger engine. But that's just that's just me guessing what the difference could be. The bike that you have downstairs, that's considered a what? An electric bike. okay that's an electric bike yes so that's like a new thing though like yeah i don't you know like like uh the the type of bike this is it to me seems like the junior version of what motocross people right well because to me when i was a kid courses you know i i like i wanted a dirt bike

36:37Jason Mantzoukas:when i was a kid but i didn't want i didn't understand it you mean like a motorized dirt no i like i understood a dirt bike to be like a bmx bike like it felt like that's i agree that's how I understood it. Is there a gas in this thing? Yes. No. Well, that one, the one in the movie, yes, because that is a motorcycle. The one that I wanted was just like a BMX bike that just had cooler wheels. And you're like, oh, yeah, this is a good dirt bike. I believe that when we did Rad, those were dirt bikes. Those are not motor bikes. Those are like BMX bikes. So you're telling me what he has is actually not a dirt bike?

37:09I think it was probably at the time called a dirt bike. or some, I think we're getting into like the weeds here of like nomenclature. Cause I think like probably it was referenced because at the time there was no electronic bike. There were bikes with motors and bikes that you pedal to move, right?

37:24Jason Mantzoukas:Dirt bikes are definitely how they are portrayed here in this movie. I think for me growing up, dirt bike felt like a pedal BMX bike. I agree. Like for example, I would have described Rad as a dirt bike movie. Yes. You know, but I, but I think they're, but I, I don't know. It's, it's a nebulous definition. Here's kind of the thing here. I got it. I looked it up. BMX, a true BMX bike started it all back in the late 60s. They were knockoffs of motocross motorcycles and they were designed for racing over jumps and around berms in the dirt. So what we're talking about is the motor. That's a motocross motorcycle.

37:59Jason Mantzoukas:That's what he has. I think he just has a junior version of it. Yes. Like it doesn't go as fast, not as powerful, perhaps. Yes. Because a 13-year-old, and by the way, all of the kids in this town, even when later at the hot dog shop, the hot dog store, rather, later Bo is talking to two girls their age, and they are also on motorized bikes. Yeah, everyone has it. Every child in this town is on a motorized gasoline powered vehicle and for 50 bucks, 25 miles an hour. I mean, this kid bought this one. The reason why we're introduced to not a helmet in sight except for on Peter Billings. Oh, and Peter Billingsley, Peter Billingsley has one of the funniest bits in this entire movie where he constantly can't take on or take off or put on his helmet because his glasses are on his face.

38:54Jason Mantzoukas:So the glasses are constantly being pushed down and he's got to take them off and put them through the lens area or take them off. Like it's a very cumbersome. Yes, his helmet glasses business was pretty funny, I will say. It's pretty great. And so the way we meet the dirt bike without a name, the Herbie with no name, is that he's being abused by Max. A bully. A bully, a dirt bike legend in this town who takes$50 and Peter Billingsley's pedal bike. And the John Candy friend makes him a worse deal. He's like, here's 50. Well, first of all, Peter Billingsley goes, I'll give you 50 bucks for this bike.

39:36Jason Mantzoukas:And this kid's like, are you crazy? 50 bucks for a bike. And then the kid, the friend comes over and says, how about you throw in your gear and your helmet? and he gives you the other bike and the$50, to which Peter Billings says, but this is my last$50. But two seconds ago, he had offered up the$50 to buy the bike. He's getting a good deal. I think he's getting a good deal. I mean, that dirt bike is worth more than$50. Let's be very clear. The bike is, A, sentient and full of magic, so he gets a very good deal. Here's my question about the bike. So do you think the bike was throwing Max off of itself because it was the wrong.

40:15Okay, so it definitely was. Oh, yeah. What we find out is that the bike, because the bike can drive itself. The bike, keep in mind, in the middle of the day throughout this movie, the bike with nobody on it is driving through this town. Like the bike drives out of the bike shop after the mom sells it and goes and finds Peter Billingsley at the baseball field. That bike was unmanned. There was nobody on it and it went all the way. The bike goes to jail.

40:45Jason Mantzoukas:This bike is arrested and goes to jail. Twice in this movie, police officers handcuff the bike like it's a perp. And no one reacts to this bike being sentient in any way. I will still go on and say that it never does Peter Billingsley say, oh, mom, my bike can fly. That seems to be just yet another interesting thing. Look, I get the sentient. I get controlling the internet and the computers. I'm kind of losing it at flying. The flying is crazy. Because I think what you're meant to assume is Peter Billingsley is doing nothing. He's just sitting on the bike. The bike does everything. I don't think he knows how to drive the bike.

41:32I think the bike is doing all of the work and he's just a passive passenger. Would you agree?

41:39Jason Mantzoukas:Yes, I would agree. Now, here's my argument. The only reason why I think this bike would get this worked up is if the hot dog store was a gas station. Sure. Because they were taking away the gas station. Like, what vested interest does the bike have in saving the... Yeah, in saving this... The bike seems to be somehow wanting to help Peter Billingsley's character. It's kind of like, isn't this kind of like E.T.? The bike wants to help Peter Billingsley's character with his journey, but the bike is too much. and he has to keep kind of pulling it back from exposing itself or going too far. But wouldn't his journey be to get his mother a job so they could actually have some money in groceries?

42:20Jason Mantzoukas:I don't know. I agree, but he seems more interested in helping the hot dog store. That's what I'm saying. She does end up taking on, well, it's a long way. We've got a long road to get there, but she does end up taking on the hot dog store as a client. Now, what her role is, I don't know, because she's unemployed. Well, but she says she has a line where she says, I'm so happy to take you on as a client. Yes. And I was trying to wrap my mind around like what? And then he sort of takes her in the store to see all of the changes she's implemented in the hot dog store. But what is her job? You know, she at the beginning of the movie in the very first scene, Peter Billingsley's watching TV and she's on the phone with the bank because they're going to give her a job interview.

43:10And she says, yes, I can do this. I can do that. I've done this before. I've done that before. So everything you need, I can do. And so I am assuming it's some sort of marketing, publicity, something in that realm that she was going to do at the bank, was willing to do at the bank if they had hired her, if Stuart Pankin hadn't been such a creep. And now she's doing it for Mike's hot dog shop.

43:34Jason Mantzoukas:Mike has as much money to hire her and keep her on payroll? That I don't know. That I can't quite figure out. And when we see her, it seems all she's doing is like setting up the red ribbon, you know, to cut through. But I mean. Listen, I'm glad she's employed because Paul's right. By Paul's definition, perhaps she'll be a better mother now. Geez. I mean, look, I just feel like, look, I was a latchkey kid. My mom never made me do all of these things. And also, I have to say. You know you did cook for yourself. I did at a certain point. You're right. But I feel like bacon was, you know, there were certain things that I was better at cooking.

44:08Jason Mantzoukas:You draw the line of bacon? Well, I guess I could. So your real problem was just the bacon. I just felt like she really burdened him with this bacon in the morning. Like, it's Saturday morning. Well, he is not responding. She called him five million times and he was not responding. Well, I mean, look, this mother cut the cord to the remote control, not the TV, by the way, too. I mean, if you remember that kind of old school TV, the remote was connected. Here you go with the cords again and what cord needs to be connected to what cord. We get it. We get it. You know cords. You know your cords. June is shooing away this conversation.

44:43Jason Mantzoukas:I just feel like I just wanted, I don't know. I just wanted her, like, I feel like the mom actually was very cool. I'm not, I don't have any issues with the mom. So you're saying that the mom is the real villain of this movie. Not Stuart Pankin, that the mom is the villain. Paul. I just feel, yeah. if you if the kids did not look up or even acknowledge that you were screaming their names and asking for help over and over and over again like wouldn't you freak out i wouldn't destroy my own tv because then how would i get to watch my stories i mean i think that what she was trying to teach him was like meant yeah young man like get in the kitchen and learn how to cook and learn Don't you hear the smoke alarm?

45:30Right, right. She says, don't you hear the smoke alarm?

45:33Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, he's dreaming about, you know, he's dreaming about, about, well, again, this movie does. The dirt bike race. The dirt bike race. He just saw the commercial for the dirt bike race, didn't he? Wasn't that it or something? Yeah. And, you know, maybe he, maybe he needs a moment to daydream. You know, they always say the creatives need a moment to daydream. You know, maybe he just needs a moment. You know, if he wasn't, if he wasn't open to this, maybe he would never have gotten to the place to get the bike, to get his mom a job working in advertising. So that he can start doing comedy and he can figure out how to start podcasting and really figure out how to get his life going.

46:06It's really interesting how much you identify with the Jack character.

46:10Jason Mantzoukas:I'm just saying that Jack, you know, is a little bit misunderstood. I do also... Listen, by the way, if he had continued to watch TV, like, we wouldn't have a movie. Yes. You know, if she kept that cord in the right spot. Wow, yeah, you're right, you're right. If he continued to watch TV, He wouldn't have, if his mom hadn't made him do the grocery shopping, which you have criticized her for, Paul. Over and over again. You said all, all of the grocery shopping. 50 bucks to say your last 50 bucks to give to a 14-year-old and expect him to go there without a car. Oh, so now he's 14? Now he's 14? So he has to do, so the mom is the villain, this poor kid.

46:51But if she hadn't forced him out of the house, he would never have gone. The creep would have never set him up with the bike. He would never have gotten it from the bully. and he would never have flown and saved the day and become the hero that he became. So maybe the mom is the hero.

47:03Jason Mantzoukas:OK, all right. You've had you definitely you know, you definitely have opened my eyes to something, you know. You know, I do think that the mom was very chill when he did say, hey, mom, I lost the last$50. She never got mad. The mom was pretty even keeled for the last$50 to be spent and her to have no reaction. And for her to also just be I mean, I guess she's negligent. she puts a Walkman on, doesn't know that this boy has disappeared for the entire night, literally flying around, being chased by the police. She's just bopping around on her Walkman, listening to like Simply Red or something. And, you know, I just feel like this mom should just know where her kids are.

47:41Wow.

47:42Jason Mantzoukas:Wow. I cannot, I can no longer stand for this. Like she is doing the very best she can. She takes an interview at like 10 p.m. at night. Well, all the interviews in this movie are wild. because it seems like he's watching TV. It's Saturday in the morning. He's eating potato chips. She's making bacon. She's on the phone doing a full interview with the bank on a Saturday morning for an advertising position. I mean, there's some timeline issues. Yeah, they also do that thing where, like, things are happening in the middle of the day that would absolutely be happening at night. It makes no sense. And she doesn't react.

48:17Jason Mantzoukas:Her son literally runs into this office. I mean, yes, he saves her from an assault. But also, like, her son's on a motorcycle running through the bank in an office, and she never seems to be like, what is going on? I mean, she doesn't seem to be overly concerned, or is she? Well, it would be one thing if her son showed up at the bank because of an emergency. Right. Okay. Now, that he shows up at the bank, inside the bank, inside Stuart Pankin's office, on the motorbike, and then the motorbike destroys the model? not Helena Christensen but the model bank the architectural model like I would feel like the mom would be would have every right to absolutely ground him and get rid of that bike but not the case like she's very very forgiving of him you know in a generous way she seems very generous I mean look because he is his behavior is insane well I mean that's that's what I'm saying and thank you Jason for getting on my side here because again I'm gonna say that I'm not on your side you are and I really she's a saint She's doing an amazing job.

49:19Well, she cuts the cord. She's doing the best she can.

49:22Jason Mantzoukas:She cuts the cord on the TV. I think that's what you're mad at. You know, and for not hearing. I think you're mad that she cut off his TV. That's it. That is. That's it right there. All I want is my ladies to be more like Mrs. Covell. I want Mrs. Covell. I want more Mrs. Covell's, less. Wait, do you mean Mrs. Covell? Oh, Covell, yes. I want more Mrs. Covell. I just kept on saying Covell because of a local wine bar here. It's just the name of a wine bar in L.A., yes. I want more Mrs. Clavel. I thought that I loved her relationship with Mike. I thought that there was something steamy there. I thought there was a love there.

49:58Jason Mantzoukas:I thought that as an adult watching this movie, I'm like, I get this is a kid's movie, but it's got a deeper emotional resonance. The movie definitely obeys kid logic. Like the movie is not interested in adult logic or adult, normal adult storytelling. It is kid logic. Except, Jason, for the sort of like trying to understand the corporate holdings of the bank and what exactly. But that's actually, I would argue it's so confusing because kids don't understand it. Yeah, I guess you're right. It is kid logic because they literally it's at a certain point. It's just jargon that kids don't understand.

50:43But it's sort of what he's supposed to. It's what Jack is supposed to nail him on. Like, we know you're doing this. And Paul and I watched that scene three times and I was like, doing what? What is he doing? What? What is it? What's the what here? OK, so my basic understanding is that Stuart Pankin. It was like a WeWork situation. I haven't seen the documentary. Oh, I don't know what the WeWork situation is. Basically like owning real estate and then renting it back to themselves or whatever they were doing. I think that's exactly what he's doing. Yes.

51:17Jason Mantzoukas:So he was positioning himself, even though he had the pocket watch and the giant mansion, he was not as rich as he appeared. He only had$1 ,000 in the bank, but he owned property that he was going to have the bank buy, but he actually owned it. So he was going to make more money. But it even seemed like the money was low. The plot of land seemed like it was$5 ,000. $500 ,000. Oh,$500 ,000. Okay, so he was going to make a lot of money there. I don't know where his money was spent. I mean, clearly he's financing baseball teams. He has time to leave work to go to baseball games with a cane. Did he have a cane?

51:49Jason Mantzoukas:I'll be honest. The thing that is the most upsetting for him in terms of being a good manager is when Bo, the pervy friend, and Jack go to the computer lab, which is where? Question mark? I don't know where they go. They go someplace. No, it's the middle of the night. They go someplace in the middle of the night and they go to a computer lab and they hack the bank system. And when they do, they just wreak havoc. Like Bo gives like the widow in town a million dollars. You know, they just start like. Very war games. Like very war games. Yes. Right. Like, OK, now we can control everything. yeah but stewart penkin doesn't seem to be upset that there's a million dollars that's going to the wrong place he's just focused on getting his own half a million dollars i was like i don't understand this at all i don't well because it's fdic insured um you know i mean now june i will are you doing a hodgkins bank commercial or is this episode sponsored by hodgkins bank i just think that hodgkins has his head on straight he supports the town and you know who needs that those hot dogs when you can get, you know, I'm sure the bank would probably have like a nice little Starbucks in the front or something like that.

53:00Jason Mantzoukas:The kids could eat something a little bit more healthy, like an egg and some fruit. No, not cool. Not cool, man. Oh, so sorry. With me right here. So sorry. With me right here. So sorry. Wow. Oh, so you'd like there to be some sort of egg shop, an egg store. You want there to be an egg store in front of the bank? Would you prefer the mom was like, asked him to fry a bunch of eggs? Oh, man. Right in front of me? Oh, my God. You know what? You come down on me. I want to throw June back under the bus. You're in the pocket of big eggs. I am. A little bit. The lovely people who sponsor all of our egg programming here, I thank the Egg Federation for giving us a large amount of money.

53:38Jason Mantzoukas:I now have hives. A large amount of money. I have hives. I have to get my EpiPen. Hey folks, it's Joel Kim Booster here. As you may know, we have been away for a few weeks now under construction. No longer are we just covering bad dates. We are now intimacy coordinator. You guys will not want to miss it. We cover such things as By erasure, finding your perfect type, and has sex positivity gone too far? No matter what it is, you can expect the same amount of comedic chaos. This new iteration of the pod is going to be amazing and I cannot wait to introduce Intimacy Coordinator to all of you. Some flavors can only be crafted by nature.

54:15Jason Mantzoukas:One sunny day, a honeybee discovered a mysterious apple blossom and carried its pollen to a honeycrisp tree. Months later, something extraordinary was born. The Sugar Bee Apple, with notes of honey, caramel, and molasses, balanced by bright sweetness and an extra crisp crunch. Sugar Bee Apples elevate everything from charcuterie boards and salads to baked treats and everyday snacking. Ready for some inspiration? Download our free recipe book and discover delicious ways to enjoy Sugar Bee Apples at hellosugarbee.com. Sugar Bee Apples, from bee to you. Evening, buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in.

54:49Jason Mantzoukas:Let's get started. Uh, sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice. Ugh, I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. June, you... I want to just... I don't want to call you out for this, but... Okay. You, I think, didn't like the way that Peter Billingsley played baseball either. I mean, we did rewind that section of the movie quite a few times because you felt that Peter Billingsley.

55:27Now listen, I was, not to make anyone uncomfortable here, but I was an umpire for softball. Wait, wait, what?

55:36Jason Mantzoukas:Wait, wait a second. I've never, I was waiting for you to say I did play softball. Well, I did play softball. That's what I assumed too. Yes, I did play softball and I was also an umpire. And so I. A junior ump? At what age? I was a regular ump. Like when I was a teenager during the summer, I umped. But for like younger kids, right? For like kids this age? Like when you were older. Yeah, like kids this age who were playing softball. You were umping. I never knew that you were an umper. Yeah. And I mean, I didn't, I think I did it one summer. And so. How many games, June? Like let's get like four.

56:11Well, I did make one very bad call that to be quite honest, like kind of haunts me. Like this is real talk. It really does. Like, I don't know what I was thinking. Let's get into it. What was it? I, I, it was sort of, I think it was the infield fly rule that I was always, I was always a bit fuzzy on. And I don't know. I really don't know what happened. I don't actually know what the infield fly rule is. I'm being serious. Well, I believe, well, don't look it up yet. But I believe the infield fly rule was that if in softball it's hit in the infield and it's up and it's like it's it's going to sort of be lobbed into the infield that it's automatically called out.

56:59So you call the out before someone catches it. Huh.

57:04Jason Mantzoukas:OK, so. OK, would you like me to tell you what it is? That's my memory. OK. I'm being serious. I genuinely don't know this. I played Little League, but my father once told me he was the coach. He said, I knew that you weren't really interested because I put you at shortstop. And when I looked over, you were practicing moonwalking. That is pretty good. In the middle of a game. In the middle of a game, I was practicing my moonwalking. Breakdancing, that's all I cared about. In the position that's like, it gets the most action. Yep. Nope. Just moonwalking. Yeah, no time like. Just out there trying to perfect the moonwalk.

57:39Yeah.

57:39Jason Mantzoukas:Yep. Okay, so this is the rule, June, and I think you're kind of right, which is the infield fly rule is a rule of baseball and softball that treats certain fly balls as though caught. Before that ball is caught, even if the infielder fails to catch it or drops it on purpose, the umpire's declaration of an infield fly means the batter is out and all forced plays are removed regardless of whether the ball is caught. The rule exists solely to prevent the defense from executing a double play or triple play by deliberately failing to catch a ball that an infielder could catch with ordinary effort.

58:15Yes. So... Oh, even you explaining that? I'm a little confused. But okay, cool. So it says a ball batted into the air subjects base runners to a dilemma.

58:27Jason Mantzoukas:If the ball is caught, they must return to their original base. If not caught, the batter becomes a runner and certain runners are forced to advance to the next base. Base runners study the field and advance only far enough. It's supposed to equitably kind of even out. I understand that a little more now. So I think I either didn't call it or I called it when I shouldn't have. And it was like a winning in the final moment. And my dad saw me do it and he was really upset. and the coaches and parents were screaming at me. I mean, I had to like run to my car to get out of there. And I also knew it was wrong, but I didn't know.

59:07Wait, were you being chased by an angry mob? Pretty much. A Long Island mob, a Long Island? I knew it was wrong, but I also didn't know how. My umpire training did not prepare me. I guarantee you went to an afternoon of umpire training

59:19Jason Mantzoukas:and you did two games. I did not prepare me for the scenario in which you make the wrong call and then you want to back out of it, undo it. But I don't know what that rule's called. You can't undo a rule. I don't think you can. Well, let me ask you this, June. Let me tell you this. There are many things that you are not only good at, but amazing at. Well, thanks. But it seems to me that umpiring is not one of them because you adamantly, and watched it four times on replay, You accused Peter Billingsley of being out and you were upset with this and you kept on going, rewind it, rewind it, rewind it.

1:00:06That's your umpire training come into play.

1:00:09Jason Mantzoukas:And I said to her, give me that instant replay. And I said to her, I go, June, he's blocking the base. That's the issue. And you know, he got him out, but he's blocking the base. So I think the problem was, and this is the same problem that Mrs. Clavel had, I think, which was perspective. I couldn't quite see where the base was. And so to me, it looked like he like I don't know why Peter Billingsley was trying to slide from that far away. Like if I were him, I would have either. It's just hard because I did think that catcher was just simply trying to catch the ball. But he was well, here's what's interesting.

1:00:53Here's what's interesting. And I think the movie tells us something by making the catcher the bad kid Max. Yes. The bully. So the bad guy is the catcher. So I think we're meant to believe and infer from that he would cheat, you know, or he would be in the wrong because he's he's he's on the bank guy. It would be clear because here's how it would be clear if he if they had set it up so that they were he was directly the catcher was directly behind the base, caught the ball. And then instead of jumping on the base, like jumped on what's his face as he was sliding in. But that's not the way they shot it.

1:01:31So it was genuinely unclear. Well, because it's not the bases aren't loaded. So he has to hit Peter Billingsley. He can't just touch home base and get him out. You're right. I can't believe I forgot that as an umpire.

1:01:42Jason Mantzoukas:Well, by the way, I guess I did look up here that umpires can reverse calls, June, by the way. I wish I had known that. I'm telling you. Do you want to make some calls right now? Honestly, I'm glad to say it in a public forum because there's certain things in life where you just like regret things you did, you know? And I have a list of things that I really regret having done. And this. Any that involve me? No. Well, yeah, of course. Just things that. Yes, absolutely. Not things like things that I've done. Yeah, absolutely. I have tons of regrets. But that moment was one of them because I knew it was wrong and I didn't know what to do.

1:02:18So I ran away. But you're right, Jason. So he had to tag him. But so. But you're right in the sense that the argument that they're making in the movie that that that sad coach Mike, who owns Mike's hot dog store, is arguing is that the kid was blocking the base. Is that Max, the bully, was blocking home plate.

1:02:38Jason Mantzoukas:And by the way, we also are told that this kid is as bad as Stuart Penkin, because Stuart Penkin goes, ooh, you could become a bank manager one day. Like, you know, he likes that kind of moxie on a kid. Can we just maybe talk about a little bit more about, I mean, the end is just so long, that bike ride is so stupid. But I do want to talk about the relationship, because we did talk about Mike and how beaten down Mike is. And I think that his arc, as far as anyone's arc in this movie, is the most well thought out. It's the most beautifully told. It is really, truly a masterful story of love between him and Mrs.

1:03:14Jason Mantzoukas:Clavel. And I think that, first of all, I love that they put in 1985 a woman in a position of power by being a Little League coach. And she was kind of in a world where I think that she didn't get as much respect. And then she gets a lot of respect. And she helps him find respect for himself. I mean, I'm all in on this relationship. Wait, can I say one thing about her position? Because I was excited. Listen, as a female umpire, I'm always thrilled to see women in sports. But I was confused when, what's the bank guy's name again? Stuart Pinkett. When Stuart Pinkett is talking to his board of trustees and they're taking a vote to figure out if women can play in their softball league.

1:03:59Is he referring to the kids' little league?

1:04:02Jason Mantzoukas:If he is. Or is there also an adult? No, I think it's the kids and he calls the little kids bimbos, the little girls bimbos. He says, bye bye, bimbos. He says, bye bye, bimbos. Bye bye, bimbos. I was like, whoa. About like either 12 year old or 10 year old girls. Well, that Jack's team had girls on it. I did notice that Jack's team. Yeah, well, that's all I did. Yes, I at least one. I saw at least one girl. So so, yes, there are girls on the Little League team. But I was also unclear as to whether they were talking about the Little League team or the like an adult league. But I assume it's the Little League team.

1:04:41Yeah. And that they're keeping the Hodgkins bank team, you know, girl free. Interesting that they would keep all the players male, but then have a woman coach them. Well, it seems as though Mr. Hodgkins, Stuart Pankin, seems to think that Miss Clavel is like doing his bidding. You know, that's why that's why when when the umpire makes the bad call and Mike is like, Miss Clavel, come on, you saw. She says, I didn't have a good viewpoint or I did. She kind of she kind of knows that Stuart Pankin needs them to win. She knows that her bread is buttered. a little bit so I feel like she's a little bit at the beginning of the movie but she feels really bad because she's trying to warn Mike that they're going to foreclose on him and he keeps putting her off you know he keeps being like timely later let's talk about it later or whatever and she keeps trying to tell him of this thing she heard at the bank which turns out to be that his hot dog store is going to be closed which means who knows where people are going to have their but we're going to buy their hot dogs and have food fights their post game yeah their post game hot dogs oh god i mean there's so much it's overwhelming like stewart pankin on the back of the bike the pie fight the the bulldozer versus dirt bike fight i mean by the way there's a lot of supergirl stuff

1:05:59Jason Mantzoukas:in this movie there's bulldozers there's flying around the city uh there's a lot i've completely forgotten about supergirl i mean i know it was like two months ago yeah i did too but i feel like there are similarities i'm just gonna go out and say it i think you're right um i do still want to play a little bit of Mike, just Mike kind of regaining his confidence here. What about the spirit you put in those kids? You never let them quit. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I am quitting, aren't I? What? When the tough, no, no, when the going gets tough, the, the, the tough get going. It's not over till it's over.

1:06:38Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, it's not the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog. This fight isn't over yet. I gotta believe what I've been telling these kids all along. Now you're talking. It also reminded me of Maximum Overdrive. Oh, you're right. There's so many, so many, so many vehicles without drivers, you know, I want to get into this. Why it's bold to make, I mean, this Herbie, I believe is the spirit of a race car driver inside, inside a car. I'm pretty sure i'm gonna look at it right now because i don't think it's just a sentient car i thought like a like somebody dies and then okay so that's a great point which is we never learn the story of the bike yeah like nor the dad at one point did you think the dad was the bike oh like jack frost yeah oh i never oh that's interesting uh that's cool no i i didn't that That would have been interesting.

1:07:39But then that's proven not true by the fact that the bike then responds to, at the end of the movie, a new kid gets the bike. And the bike presumably takes him on an adventure. But what I felt like was missing was like, there's no curiosity. Jack or anybody else seems to have no curiosity as to why the bike is alive. Why the bike is doing this. What is the story of this bike? and the old man, the creepy old man, seems to be the only keeper of this knowledge and he just doesn't share it. Like I kept thinking, oh, at the end of the movie, that old man's going to show up again and he's going to tell us the story of the bike.

1:08:20Right, yeah. We'll get some closure on this. But instead the bike just seems to be like a magic talisman that goes from kid to kid, like turning them into a hero, I guess.

1:08:30Jason Mantzoukas:I don't know. Yeah, it seems like Herbie is not the, he's just a sentient car. It's just a car that, you know, it doesn't seem like we know why. So, yeah. So I guess this follows the same idea. I mean, there is a Herbie the Love Bug movie where he gets possessed, but that seems different. By Jewel Thieves. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. But here's a little bit. There are bikers in this movie. There are real motorcycle bikers. A biker becomes a banker. A biker to banker. Yeah. One of whom says about the kid, he says, I'm going to light this kid on fire. Oh, God. Can you imagine being a kid watching this movie and being like, wait, adults can light kids on fire?

1:09:12By the way, that's that.

1:09:13Jason Mantzoukas:Is that an option? By the way, that's another reason why it's similar to Supergirl, because those like those truckers kind of try to beat up Supergirl. And these bikers have no problem, like beating the shit out of a 14 year old kid. I sure don't. I will say. And these are like 40 year old men. Oh, yeah. Big men. On motorcycles. Wasn't his name Mr. Slimy or something like that? Yeah, something. I can't remember. Yes, something. I did like when they, well, I mean, there's a lot of destruction in this town, especially when the cop with the sidecar. I mean, it's cop with a sidecar. That cop was funny, I will say.

1:09:47Jason Mantzoukas:Yes, I thought so, too. That cop was funny. I also thought the 500-year-old security guard was funny. Who clearly was ADR'd by somebody in the booth doing an old man voice. Hey, you kids, get out of here. clearly was not his voice but it was like the person who's sound mixing was like I can do it I got it don't worry about it give him two lines all of the police all of the police stuff was like pure like Simpsons Chief Wiggum level police at work it was really making me laugh it is so good alright well obviously we had an opinion about this movie but there are people out there with a different opinion it is now time for second opinions

1:10:26The movie was a piece of shit, yet this person recommends it. Tell me what is the message? Maybe that art is subjective. I need a second opinion.

1:10:47Jason Mantzoukas:Nate Kiley did some good work this week. there are 253 reviews of the dirt bike kid and the the average 81 percent are five star reviews 81 percent love this movie but you're going to see a little bit of a trend coming up here to the first one kind of makes sense from trevor c trevor c writes good movie as a kid still okay and even better after a joint if you were a boy that wanted a dirt bike and watch this in the 80s grab a fat joint and a 40 oldie and enjoy five stars. That's, that's what we got there. Wow. Now this person is like, I love that this whole review is like, get fucked up and watch this movie.

1:11:33Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, I, there, there's definitely a way to watch it. Now this one, as Nate points out, is one of the most chilling reviews I've ever seen. It says, bought this for a coworker and she has watched it multiple times. And so have her kids. five stars. It feels like that, and a Pankin level, like forcing a movie onto somebody. It doesn't feel like that person wanted to watch this movie, didn't feel like... Although, I'll be honest, if I was working someplace and somebody has a secret Santa gift gave me the dirt bike kid, I might be like, oh, thanks, I'll check it out. I'll get it. I'll get into it.

1:12:06Jason Mantzoukas:Now, here's where it gets pretty interesting. This is from N. Zane. The title is Fun Movie for Kids. Guess you had to be there. And the review is, While this movie is not a big kids film, low budget, and came out without a lot of fanfare when it hit theaters, I worked on the film and my son was the scorekeeper. So what am I going to say? I waited for this film to come out on DVD and it went straight to Blu-ray. I have a dusty copy of the original video, which my son had a hard time finding. It was fun to see again. Five stars. And then followed immediately by Candy Overby, who writes, I had a little part in this movie, so I bought it for my kids.

1:12:48Jason Mantzoukas:five stars. That's also cute. People are getting in here giving it five stars because they're in it, simply because they're in it. And we should do that more. And then finally, Jared B writes, love this movie, better than Herbie, five stars. So there we go. Better than Herbie, putting Herbie on blast. If you were in this movie, you gave it five stars. And if you hate Herbie, you're giving it five stars. Yeah, like I said, The budget was$800 ,000. Oh, wow. But the director's... 85. And the director says they sold 100 ,000 VHS copies of it, which I believe to be true only because I recognize this DVD.

1:13:32Jason Mantzoukas:And it was written by David Brandes, who wrote on Fraggle Rock. And also, it was a story by the person who wrote Chopping Mall, Julie Corman. Oh, wow. Yeah, so... Was this before or after Christmas Story? I meant to look back. I have a feeling it was after Christmas Story. Okay. Because I think it was. Because I was wondering, it was two years after, says Molly in the chat. Okay. Okay, thank you, Molly. Okay, that's interesting. So this is, because Peter Billingsley, I feel like, is, like, that movie I remember being, like, genuinely popular. You know what I mean? That was a real big movie. So this is one of the next things.

1:14:09That's fascinating.

1:14:10Jason Mantzoukas:This is like his, you know, he's got to take that Christmas Story success and bring it to a different market, the BMX market. All right. Final thoughts. June, Jason, do you recommend this movie? You know, no. Go ahead. No, that's I mean, no, no, no, no, no is a complete sentence. You know, I would say yes, I think. I mean, I would say yes. Yes. But fast forward, you know, like if there's stuff in here that's like you don't need to watch. but like there's some genuine silliness in this. There is some like real, and maybe it's just because it really was hitting 80s nostalgia for me in a way that I was enjoying.

1:14:52And it had like that, like a lot of silliness in it that I was on board for, but it's by no means like a great movie, but I would say yes, just to be like, just to get an eyeball on what we're talking about. I would say like throw it on and, you know, scrub through and you might, there's some stuff in here.

1:15:11Jason Mantzoukas:I am firmly in the middle of both of you because I found it to be like if someone out there did like a super cut of this movie, it would be really fun to watch. What I found to be interminable about this film was we watched it on Pluto TV. So we had to sit through commercials. Oh, God. And it made the movie so much longer to watch. No way. Commercials. No way. Commercials. I rented it on Amazon. Oh, see, I should have just done that. I don't know why. It was so jarring to see those commercials. We did not like it. It was also, Paul, the break I needed. Okay, so you needed to... Yeah. I found myself really checked out at the end.

1:15:51Jason Mantzoukas:The race scene went on for far too long. But I did like some elements of it. And look, Stuart Pankin is playing a creep, and we have not revealed him to be a creep in real life. And I do feel like he really cornered the market on embracing and playing these roles very well. There is something about Stuart Pankin that I always will love. Like, I feel like I used to watch not necessarily the news as a kid so much. And yeah. So even though we keep on calling him a creep, I think he's really he's showing the scenery in the best way. We're talking about Mr. Hodgkin. Yes. We're talking about even though we're using his name.

1:16:23We're talking about the character Mr. Hodgkin.

1:16:24Jason Mantzoukas:But I just want to say, like, I just want to call out that I do think that he is effectively like making the most out of what he's got here. Like, truly. Oh, I think he's doing a great performance. Yeah. I think the mom is great. I think there's a lot of really funny performances. Yeah, I like them all. It's, you know, but it's nuts. This movie is nuts. So for June, it's definitely a pass because of the umping, but also a pass because of the plotting. That's right. Yeah. I just had a hard time with this one. It didn't hit correctly. All right. So I think that if you can find a super cut, I think then Jason and I are probably on the same page there.

1:17:05Jason Mantzoukas:All right. So is there anything that you want to plug, talk about, tell anybody to listen to, check out? I have a small part in Steve Conrad's stop motion animation show on AMC called Ultra City Smiths. It's fantastic and really interesting if you liked Patriot or any of his other stuff. Also, in a couple of weeks, I am a voice in the new Star Trek animated series Prodigy that's going to be coming on pretty soon. So it's like, it's super adventure Star Trek kind of awesome. With Kate Mulgrew, right? Kate Mulgrew, is that the one? Yes. It's Captain Janeway. It's her character. And then it is a group of teenage adventurers.

1:17:48And she is kind of helping. She is like there, the person who's sending them on adventures. And it's fucking gorgeous and awesome. I'm very excited.

1:17:57Jason Mantzoukas:And I'll continue the Star Trek plugs and say that if you're not watching Lower Decks right yet, do it. It's on Paramount+. I am in it. An amazing cast of people, including Tani Newsome and Eugene Cordero and Jerry O 'Connell and Jack Quaid from The Boys. It's a super funny Star Trek that is also very true to Star Trek Next Generation, created by Mike McMahon, who is the co-creator of Solar Opposites and was running Rick and Morty for a little bit of time. So it's a very funny, cool show that is right now on Paramount+. so if you have a chance to get Paramount Plus get Paramount Plus, check it out and if you like this show, our show make sure you head on over to our Discord and get the conversation going and continue to keep the conversation going it's discord.gg slash hdtgm and there's brand new shirts in our store, we got ratcheted out shirts, we got we have a lot of shirts where does the butt start because of that mannequin re-release, so check out our store tpublic.com slash stores slash hdtgm A big thank you to the person who picks all of our movies every single week.

1:19:04Jason Mantzoukas:That's Averill Halley, our movie producer picker. And she's got a great YouTube channel called Movie Bitches, where you can hear little snippets of that on our mini episodes. But a giant thank you to our super producer, Cody Fisher, the brother of Kobe Bryant, our sound engineer, Devin Bryant. Of course, our MVP, Molly Reynolds. and the person who gives us all the research, everything that we need to know for every one of these episodes goes through Amazon Reviews in a ridiculous degree. I'm talking about Nate Kiley. Nate, thank you so much for doing all your hard work. And the person whose last stop, everything goes through him, July Diaz.

1:19:42Jason Mantzoukas:Thank you, July, for everything that you do. Thank you, everybody at Earwolf and all the people who design and make all this amazing art like the ghost of Craig T. Nelson and Kyle Waldron. We love your art and you can follow all of our art on our Facebook and how did this get made pages on Instagram. We are in all the social media places. So follow us, listen to us, rate, subscribe, all the things you need to do. We will see you next week on a mini episode. Bye for now. It looks like Hodgkin's bank is about to cash in. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. My little Hodgkin's.

1:20:16Jason Mantzoukas:Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr. Hodgkin's. Mr.

1:20:33Jason Mantzoukas:Hodgkins.

1:20:53Jason Mantzoukas:gets. Mr. Hodgkins. Mr. Hodgkins. Mr. Hodgkins. Mr. Hodgkins. Mr. Hodgkins. Mr.

1:21:06Hodgkins.

1:21:13Jason Mantzoukas:Hey folks, it's Joel Kim Booster here. And as you may know, we have been away for a few weeks now Under construction, no longer are we just covering bad dates. We are now Intimacy Coordinator. You guys will not want to miss it. We cover such things as bi-erasure, finding your perfect type, and has sex positivity gone too far? No matter what it is, you can expect the same amount of comedic chaos. This new iteration of the pod is going to be amazing, and I cannot wait to introduce Intimacy Coordinator to all of you. Still waiting in line? Again? That's time you'll never get back. Save time and money with Stamps.com.

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