The Great Wall LIVE! (HDTGM Matinee)

22:24Jason Mantzoukas:He also seemingly understands Mandarin because everyone around him is speaking Mandarin. And then when he's finally free, he's like, okay, get him in the eyes. How does he know? He's never even seen these creatures. And yet he is running tactical plays. Like, the only way he would have known that is if he also spoke Mandarin. and then he's doing these fucking Hawkeye, like, sliding on his back. Oh, he's straight up Legolas-ing this. He cannot miss. Can not miss. He arrives, and he can, they, the, the, the, what are they called, the guards of the, of the, the... The Nameless Order. The Nameless Order, thank you.

23:07I got it. The Nameless Order.

23:14The Nameless Order have been here guarding this wall for centuries, I guess. They are incredibly well-trained. They're an incredibly well-trained army. And yet, they're like, how did you kill this? We are blown away.

23:32Jason Mantzoukas:But now, my question is, were they always under attack or was this the first time? Every 60 years. Right. But was that the first time in 60 years when they happened to be captured? Yes. So that was the, they are relatively, their shit is together for the first time seeing these space dogs. It is and it isn't. And that's why, I think that's why they do capture these two foreigners. It's not just that they're, you know, interesting to them. It's because they have that space dog leg. And so they know we've got to bring them up to the higher ups here because the space dogs are here much earlier than we thought.

24:13Nine days. Nine days early. But that's huge. But by the way, you're right. Back then, nine days was like 900 years. Yeah. And I guess my point is, Paul, sorry to interrupt, is that they are so on point, ready for the touties, that nine days early means something's a fucking miss. It means they are getting smarter, they're evolving, something's off, they're here earlier. Well, that's what the chief strategist is basically saying. Yes. Yeah. Is the chief strategist the one that has... You agree with the chief strategist. Is the chief strategist the one that... That's why you guys, you both didn't understand that that's...

24:59That's why they had to bring them up. Something major has happened.

25:03Jason Mantzoukas:The chief strategist is too busy making his hologram PowerPoint to be too concerned about it. I don't remember that. What are you saying? You don't remember the PowerPoint? No, what's up? No. Guys. I'm telling you, I watched this movie in what felt like an active blackout. I felt unwell. Okay, this is the PowerPoint I was referring to. Where do they come from? About 20 centuries ago, there was an emperor whose greed brought deep suffering to all of China. The heavens sent the lithium that struck Gowu Mountain. turning it green and releasing the tartare. From that day on, the tartare rise every 60 years to scourge the north of China.

25:55They come to remind us of what happens when greed is unchecked. They eat anything, alive or dead, and take food to their queen. She depends on her soldiers to feed her. Only with the food they provide is she able to multiply? The capital and its two million people is only 800D away. If the Tate ever had that much nourishment, no corner of the world would be safe. You can't hunt them. Men try. They disappear. We never find their bones. Whoa! The ancient

26:41Jason Mantzoukas:Art of PowerPoint. That's right. If you didn't, if you're just listening to that, that was all on a screen that he pulled down that became completely animated. Yeah, yeah. So this movie is like anti-capitalist, right? Well, here's the thing. Spoiler alert, they defeat them, so they kill them, so greed is good. Wall Street, Wall Street 2, money never sleeps, no big deal. All ties together. But I mean, if they defeat this is a thing to keep greed in check why do the space dogs symbolize cleansing the country of greed because because if you if because the in the building like that powerpoint he's basically like you know there was a guy and he was so greedy that space dogs came.

27:42And they were like, bro, we gotta keep this guy in check. How do we do it? Munch, munch, munch. We're space dogs. We love food. I mean, I think that what's probably happened here is the Tau Tai are always going to come out after 60 years. Like, that's their nature. And I think these people have started to tell themselves a story. Right. Because of their own anxieties about capitalism and the strain it puts on the basic goodness of humanity.

28:18Jason Mantzoukas:The town ties, because the difference of that story is that in the version that they're telling, it would be like, and they come to town and they look around. Have you built any big buildings? No. Okay. Everyone's sharing wealth? Okay, we'll go back to our cave. No. They just fucking eat everything. like they're not like the Tao Tais are not registering if people are greedy they're just they are senseless or not senseless they are gaining in intelligence I guess killing machines they are you know they are just you guys they're just animals they're aliens they're not they're just oh boy what do you mean they're not aliens I mean they're not aliens and aliens in that I don't think they have thoughts or intuitions and they are just animals and they're coming out to hunt.

29:12No, they make plans and they set traps for them. They're not super intelligent. Right, they're smart animals. Yeah, yeah. But they're animals.

29:27In that they are aliens.

29:31Jason Mantzoukas:They are an alien race hell-bent on destroying like the way that you would think the predator is also an animal that is i don't know about that he's a biped oh well right okay okay okay well this is interesting so listen listen so the xenomorph alien is is also a biped really i mean when they get to be the yeah right okay i mean they crawl They're all aliens regardless. I just don't know if they're animals. Look, I agree with you, June, that they are... I think that... Why are they even here? I think that they're... I mean, their planet or their... I mean, it was a spaceship that crashed? No, it was an asteroid.

30:19Jason Mantzoukas:I know, but what were they doing on an asteroid? Stone cold chilling, bro. I mean, you don't ride an asteroid. But I would also say this. The Tautai... They... They are... There are at least three different types of a Tau Tai. And that's interesting. So there are the foot soldier, the first wave attack dog. Then there are the ones that I love that have the fan out heads or whatever. Yeah, I love those. That protect. Tape heads. And then the queen is in the middle. So I liked that there was a, I liked that it wasn't just a horde of the same thing. I liked that there was steps involved in what they were.

31:10See, I didn't realize they were all different. I thought that the ones who were protecting the queen and making that little beehive around her were just using their bodies in that way. I didn't realize they were different Tautais.

31:22Jason Mantzoukas:No, they were different creatures. They were bigger and had like some other elements. They had a weird head thing. The other ones didn't have like that head thing. Listen, I'll say something about the Tao Tai. Yeah. What was interesting about them was the Tao Tai, and this is where I really related to them, they have to... You related to the Tao Tai?

31:47I did. They have to, like, go back home. What? And they have to, like, keep on going, but they come out, they fight, they fight, they fight. And then they go back and they sort of collect themselves. And they take a beat. What's that?

32:06Jason Mantzoukas:Queen is full. The queen is full, right. But they seem to need a lot of respite in this film. And we never know when they're going to come back. Right. And I appreciated that about them, that they valued rest and relaxation. They are basically the white walkers and the whites, right? I don't watch any of them. So like Game of Thrones logic, the smaller Tau Tai are the whites, just the attack zombies. And then you have like a little bit of like a hierarchical structure of larger and more intelligent Tau Tais that are like the White Walkers or the Night King, right? Now, all right, that's true. I just have one more question.

32:51Jason Mantzoukas:And the same thing. If you kill the queen, boom, everybody's donezo. Right. But my question is this. is are they just attacking that small section of the wall or the tau tie up and down what we find out later is that they've been attacking that section of the wall as a distract as a diversion while they dig that tunnel why couldn't they just dig that tunnel in the middle of the night it seems like three or four tau ties could dig that tunnel three or four wow do you know how much work wow you really would pile that much work on three or four Tao Ties? Let me guess, no breaks? They do simple 14-hour shifts.

33:34Jason Mantzoukas:They do a French lunch, which means they eat while they work. No, if you do, I mean, listen, the Tao Ties, they work hard, but then they play hard. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, they're fun, because you know what they're doing? You know, they take their dead, they drag them off, they toss them in the queen's mouth, and then they fucking rage, bro. Should one of the shirts for tonight's show be like a club med for Tao Ties? Or like a Tao Tie, like a party shirt from like a Tao Tie, like frat house? That reminds me when I... It's a Tao Tie doing a keg stand? When I went to, sorry for this digression, but when I went to Cozumel with my family on a cruise, my mom bought us all T-shirts at like a little stand on the side of the road.

34:21and we all wore them, me and my sisters, and then realized they were all those lizards in, like, pornographic sexual positions.

34:34Wow.

34:35Jason Mantzoukas:Oh, my God. So it was, like, all the positions. I remember being in seventh grade and, like, looking at my sister and being like, wait, what is that? And then looking at my own shirt. How about we make that shirt? Yeah, the lizards were, like, all fucking each other. and... We need to make that with towel ties. Yes, that's the shirt. Here's what I realized. Fight scenes are amazing. When you see a fight in John Wick, you're like, whoa, this is... John Wick, Chapter 3, Parabellum?

35:08TikTok, Mr. Shear. TikTok, Mr. Shear. Wow, we did that joke at the same time. Black it out. Show's over.

35:17Jason Mantzoukas:And there's something so visceral about it. It's so exciting. And when you watch people doing moves around CGI creatures, it's so stupid. It's so stupid. It's like they're not hitting anything. There's no fight. They're just on a green screen in a studio somewhere. And that's what this movie made me laugh. It's like they're just fighting nothing. And they're like, ha, ha, ha. It's like dancing around in your bedroom. Like, take a picture of us right now. Is that how you dance around in your bedroom? I do. Here, somebody take a picture of this and just CGI in tau-tai. It's like, I look...

35:56Jason Mantzoukas:I would look amazing. Like, you put the fucking tau-tai in the tip of my spear and I'm done. I think they look a little better than that, Paul. That was the thing that was tough about it is, even when they knew that the eyes were the weak spot, they still mostly did not attack the eyes. Well, the eyes were like on the shoulders. Yes. Why were the eyes on the shoulders? You know, they say the eyes are the shoulders of the soul. Do you think the magnets pulled the eyes away from the socket? Interesting. Yeah, yeah. Isn't it wild that magnets just scrambled their brains enough and made them deaf?

36:41And it was a small magnet. It was not a giant magnet. Mustn't they be able to find more magnets? Guess what? Instead of putting dynamite on all the arrows, put magnets on all the arrows. Shoot them out there. Everybody goes to sleep. Come by. Shoulder eye stab. Shoulder eye stab. Shoulder eye stab. Shoulder eye stab.

37:11Jason Mantzoukas:We can have this thing, boom, wrapped up. Again. That's the first level idea. You sit with us for 60 years, all of a sudden we're going to come up with this fucking bungee cord thing. If you're going to bungee jump your best female warriors, cover them in magnets. By the way, just drop a magnet down. This is the weird thing about how they want to test these magnets. Why not just put them on those ladies? Because worse comes to worse, it doesn't work. But maybe it will. Wait, a second ago you were saying all the death of these women. No, I still think I have a problem with the fact that the women are on the very...

37:52They're basically sent to die. They are in such a vulnerable position on those bungee cords. But what I'm saying is they are...

38:01Jason Mantzoukas:But why do you live after you can play the drums that good? That's true. I loved all of the drumming. The drumming was amazing. I loved all of the drumming. And I loved their outfits. Very 2001. They were very sleek, not dusty outfits. They were very futuristic in a way. You were worried they would be wearing dusty outfits? That was a concern of yours in the movie? I just feel like... You're like, if I watch another dusty outfit movie, I would like it if everybody was clean and pressed and everything looked real good. It just feels like we're in the middle of the desert. It's hot. No, I know what you mean.

38:35The colors were vibrant, and I appreciated that too.

38:39Jason Mantzoukas:Maybe it's just the Chinese army knows how to dress to impress. Yeah, they look put together. Did anyone have any thoughts on the big transformation of Matt Damon's hair in the movie? Oh, you mean when there was like, when the door opened and it was like, hunk alert? And they came walking in and Matt Damon had a rat tail? I will say I preferred the bearded hair Matt Damon. What? Yeah, I just thought there was something about him. Like, why wouldn't you have a chance to take a bath? Would you be like, well, I'll lose my style. Like, you know, it wasn't like he was dirty. He just smelled a little.

39:18Jason Mantzoukas:Put some shampoo in there. Put some style to it. Get some mousse. I also liked, I don't think that was a real beard. I would have liked it if he'd had a real beard, you know, and kept it. You know, not because, because here's the thing. To clean up doesn't mean you have to get rid of your beard. Yeah. I take showers a lot. I took two showers today. I didn't get rid of my beard. Cool flex, bro. Yeah, no big deal. By the way, that shower scene is my favorite dialogue in the whole movie. They cover so many bases here. Look, this is... What are you doing here? We came looking for black powder. I bet you did.

39:56I came with mercenaries for the same thing. 25 years ago. And did you find it? Finding it and living with it alive are two different things. you smell like animals thank you

40:14Jason Mantzoukas:exposition dropped by like that's such a oh and then this clean up and they'll feed you take like take your time let's go again take your time take it like stretch it out then why is he still here He needs help getting out Right We play our part Take the powder And go home I didn't sign up for this Which part? Well, all of it But most of the monsters There's a lot of them

40:58Jason Mantzoukas:We really do smell That was my favorite line there's a lot of them we really do smell it's almost like I think the director is supposed to call cut when Willem Dafoe left the room we'll just keep on going in character you're in character, we'll go in character we'll have fun with it just reiterating, there's a lot of them, yeah man that's more things than these two people have ever seen when Willem Dafoe walks in, here's all they should say what the fuck was that? What the fuck just happened? I need you to tell us everything about what the fuck is going on. Because immediately Matt Damon gets the cuffs off and fucking pulls out.

41:44Jason Mantzoukas:Like he's in the fight. And again, you're trying to find this arc of this character. What's the arc? We are told he's a bad guy. We don't ever see him being a bad guy. The first moment that we really see him capture is like, free me so I can help fight. and he never retreats from that position. I think what his journey is is just that he's been out for himself his whole life and for his own survival. Well, we do see him early on. I think he's meant to be Han Solo in that sense. I agree, but we never see him want to escape. We never see... He's always like, well, let's help him out. Let's figure it out.

42:28Jason Mantzoukas:And he's like, well, you have to shoot arrows into the wall and put a bowl there for dinner. All right, let's do it. Let's do it. I think what he's really drawn to ultimately is the family structure of this Great Wall community and that they're all together and it's a real communal experience. He just is lonely. He's lonely. Absolutely. At the beginning of the movie, we see all of his friends get killed except for Pedro Pascal. And so at that point, he's a lonely guy and he sees an organization that he's like, I wouldn't mind getting into this. It's like Scientology. But yet, I'm here looking for Shelley Miscavige.

43:11Is she here at the wall? No, she was sent on that bungee cord first. She was the first one off the wall.

43:18Jason Mantzoukas:She was eaten by a space dog. Here's the thing, though. When given the opportunity to stay with his new family, June, he does not. and he goes off with this guy who really fucked him over in a tremendous way. Yeah, but now he's got a different attitude. But Pedro Pascal doesn't. But Pedro Pascal doesn't. He'll screw him over again. Yeah, but there, he's an incorrigible scamp. All right, I'm in, I'm in. I was hoping it would be to a sequel. Maybe we will get that sequel. Oh, yeah, yes. The Greater Wall.

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45:25All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

45:30Jason Mantzoukas:It's like math. McDonald's is now introducing all new Caesar sauce, plus an even crispier McCrispie strip. This all equals a creamier, creamy snack wrap. Try the new Caesar sauce at McDonald's. Let's talk about the end battle scene when they find out that they are building a tunnel to get to the big pagoda city with the little boy, Emperor. And what goes on here at the end is crazy to me because the end of this movie is essentially trying to shoot like a basketball into a hoop, right? I mean, that's all, like, their final move is, yes, they're trained archers. They're amazing. But they kind of just zipline down and like, woo!

46:23Jason Mantzoukas:It's like trash can garbage. I couldn't believe that Matt Damon's skills weren't really used for that last shot. Well, here's what I think. I think that this, I think Commander Lee, right? Yes. Or at this stage, General Lee, in order for, right? She did get upgraded, yes. She is, she, you know... You've heard of her in history. General Lee, from the Dukes of Hazzard. I think at this stage, General Lee, like, she has to... She has to... Listen, these Duke boys are in a whole heap of trouble. By the way, they are the Duke boys. I think, though, because this is a Chinese movie, she has to win. Like, it cannot be the, you know, outsider who saves the day.

47:12That's why I think his skills are side-by. But again, shouldn't it have been

47:16Jason Mantzoukas:more than just like, like, I mean, it really is a, it's like, it's, it's like a one-in-a-million shot. Yeah.

47:28Jason Mantzoukas:It's like Damien Lillard all over again. It's like this last shot. It works. It works and they save the day. Against all odds. Against all odds. And now we will sing Against All Logs. Okay, here's a question I have. When Willem Dafoe leaves, doesn't he say, doesn't he tell Pedro Pascal that he's stored supplies and food along the route? Okay, so why hasn't he left before? I think he needs their help, because I think he is... It's too dangerous, I suspect, for him to be alone out there, which he then finds out immediately. He chooses to be alone out there. And then everyone starts tossing around baby grenades.

48:18Jason Mantzoukas:It's a great scene. That was, like, very funny. Like, what the fuck is...

48:29So stupid. They called it a grenade. They said, hand me a grenade. Not in that scene, in the later scene. He's, when they're in the, I will say this, I loved the hot air balloons. Loved them. I loved that. I loved that they first established the idea of the lanterns when the first general dies. So they show them releasing the lanterns into the sky, really great. And then you see macro versions of those lanterns are hot air balloons. And so, so many of them are failing. So many. What is the name of the group again? The Nameless? The Nameless Order. The Nameless Order loses almost everybody.

49:15Jason Mantzoukas:They're extremely flammable, Jason. This is like lighting a match under a sheet of paper. They are careening out of the sky on fire. It is wild. But that's where the movie, there's things about this movie I really loved, and that was one of them. That detail of like, some of them are going to take off, and some of them ain't. Yeah. It was just so specific. I loved it, too, when the person, they were like, Will, we can use the balloons. The chief strategist says we can use the balloons. And somebody's like, we can? They've failed in every test. Literally, they've failed in every test. Well, we gotta do it.

49:54The towel ties are loose, baby.

49:57Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, that is the thing this movie does get right. The costumes, the pageantry, the set design. Like, it is fun to watch. And that's where that money is, because a lot of this is practical. When you're looking at those shots and it's what looks like to me thousands of people, I believe there are thousands of people. Like this is... Absolutely. I think they did a lot of this practically. And then they could not afford a dialect coach. No. Or ADR. There was just no money left over for it. I love that the filmmakers went to China and said, hey, can we actually shoot this on the Great Wall? And China was like, no.

50:42Jason Mantzoukas:Absolutely not. This is blasphemous. You're talking about space dogs? And I loved that the space dogs' whole thing was, like, just doing the World War Z horde until they get there and then they just build on top of each other to get over? That's very much it. What was that zombie movie? World War Z. Oh, yeah.

51:11Guys, we are unwell. We are not good. We are bad. And honestly, I want to apologize, but also it's because of all of you. You made us do this. Okay, we don't want to do this. This is your fault. Whoa, but look at this. I blame you, Boston.

51:31Jason Mantzoukas:The guy who wrote this story is Max Brooks. the writer of World War Z. No. Yeah. What? So I guess he has a thing for a bunch of people climbing on top of people. I thought this was based on... I thought this was based on a legend. I mean, I heard that... Of the Tao Tais. I heard that a Tao Tais told his story and someone bought it and turned it into a book. Really? A ghost writer and a Tao Tais wrote the book. My father... Oh, hey, I heard you bought that Tao Tai story.

52:07Jason Mantzoukas:Oh, these Tao Tais. Oh, these Tao... I'll tell you what. The Tao Tai move at a clip. They really... I found that scary. The pace at which they moved. I thought, listen, I was scared of the Tao Tais. I thought they were very effectively drawn and produced. Even with their shoulder eyes? Yes. They didn't look like just kind of a grab bag of every CGI creature you've ever seen. They looked like the mutant dogs from Fallout 4. It just feels like the first 90 creatures we ever created in CGI were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then now it's like, put the eyes on the shoulder, make the kneecaps bigger, give them short arms and heads that look like balls.

53:00Jason Mantzoukas:Got it, that's our new ally. And I love when they, and they do, it's the same, again, and I'm so sorry, Boston, to keep harping on Game of Thrones, but it's the same thing. They're like, we gotta capture one of these to send it to the emperor so they can see what's up. And that's the same thing that happens, the same dumb idea that happens in Game of Thrones. And they fucking get the Tau Tai, and they send it to the emperor, and the emperor treats it like, oh, cool, I got a Tau Tai. I'm gonna, like, make it my friend. and then chaos. And then he's like, hey, man, Tao Tais are here in the city.

53:33They're eating like everybody, bro. What are we doing?

53:36Jason Mantzoukas:Well, I couldn't even focus on that scene because I was like, what a waste of meat. Wasted all that meat on that Tao Tai. Well, they needed to get the... Oh, boy, I'm not even going to explain it. I was like, they could have just had a real good barbecue. Ladies and gentlemen, We have talked a lot about these Tao Tais, and now it's a chance for us to talk to you with your questions about this movie. Ma 'am, your name, and I want you to say it in your best Matt Damon accent. So that means any which way you want to do it, and your question. My name is Amy. Great. Why did they make that one guy that maybe saved Matt Damon from being betrayed by his friends or whatever wash dishes in his armor.

54:30Well, he was... Didn't he have a moment of cowardice? And so he was, like, sent back to the kitchen. But, yeah, you're right. I guess, you know, they were like... And you know what? You might have to fight at any moment, so keep your armor on. But here's an apron. I couldn't understand. When that guy, originally in that first moment, couldn't find the keys to their prison cell. Is it possible that the key just wasn't there? What do you mean? I mean, was it really his fault? I think so. I just didn't know what we were supposed to read from that. Was he trying to help them? Oh, no, I think he was...

55:17Just fumbling over a bunch of keys? I think they were trying to show us that he maybe is incompetent. So that he could have like a heroic moment later. I don't know. I just thought maybe the cube wasn't actually there. I'll be honest. I don't remember any of the parts of this movie.

55:33Jason Mantzoukas:I have full-blown mementoed myself. What you are describing, I have no memory of. Sir, your name in the best man scene. Did this scene happen? Now I'm worried I made it up. And your question. My name is Michael. So, do the space dogs need to attack this city specifically? Because if they're so smart and their ultimate objective is to take over the world and the wall's the only thing keeping them out, can't they just go the other way around the world?

56:13Jason Mantzoukas:Again, I don't know much about geography, but it sounds sound. The mountain they live in is green. Like, that's crazy. To look out on the horizon and see a glowing green mountain? You know Tao Tais live there. You know where they are. They're in the Green Mountain. Guess what? Go get gunpowder, blow up the Green Mountain. Boom. Or just bring a bunch of fridge magnets to it. Yes. Put fridge magnets on the whole outside. They won't leave the mountain at all. Sir? My name is Patrick. We still haven't talked about the moment where Pedro Pascal becomes a matador. Yes. Yes. And Pedro Pascal and Matt Damon are calling out fight plays to each other like they're on a football field, like deciding what to do.

57:11The way they talk, the familiarity with which they say what to do next in life and death situations. And it's so casual. Oh, when he says, die well, brother, it is thrown away. And I thought beautifully so. I'm obsessed with Pedro Pascal. He's great. He's so good. He's great.

57:34Jason Mantzoukas:All right, sir, your name and your best accent and your question. My name is Alex. And in the beginning of the movie, they talk about how this is one of the legends. I just wanted to ask you guys, what do you think the other legends were like? I mean, my God. Oh, my God. What a great way to do sequels to this movie. The same characters as different legends. I mean, yeah. White Walkers? I mean, that is a really crazy idea that the Tao Tais are simply one of the legends. Yeah. One of the many legends is space dogs. Well, you know why they built the wall, right? Why? Well, legend has it, space dogs.

58:24You've, of course, heard of the Tao Tai, right? Oh, man. Yeah, no, I mean, here's the thing that I do think we're all going to find soon enough when we get the Tao Tai Sexual Positions t-shirts. We're going to really see how you make a Tao Tai. So the Tao Tai reproduce just by their... Their queen is just asexually producing them. Laying eggs? Or maybe giving birth? I don't know. I don't know if she has to have sex in order to... I don't know if they're not... Are they mammals? From the PowerPoint presentation, it seemed that as long as she's fed, she can produce more Tau Tais. She's just crapping them out?

59:09I think so. That's what they do. They go back to the Green Mountain, and she farts out a couple thousand more Tau Tais. Next thing you know, they're scampering on down. Sixty years later, they're scampering on down.

59:24Jason Mantzoukas:Oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy. We really had some fun in the audience tonight. I don't think anything got definitively answered. But we went out there anyway. It's been great to talk about this movie, and we certainly have an opinion about it, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions.

59:54There you go. It shook my nerves and it rattled my brains. This fucking movie's driving me insane. Oh, baby, this shit's crazy. Goodness gracious, great wall, got five stars. Randy.

1:00:10Jason Mantzoukas:Give it up for Randy.

1:00:15Jason Mantzoukas:It is now time for second opinions. When Matt Damon arrived with that accent as varied as the flags he used to serve. He saw the need of magnets early on. Choice so great, got a rate on Amazon. It's time for second opinions compelled to defend this awesome plot. And if they just believe in Matt's skill with a bow. It all makes sense. Except maybe Willem Dafoe. He's a white savior. On his best behavior. To become a hero. And choose his friend Pedro. Over black powder. This deserves five stars. Second opinions on Amazon.

1:01:44Jason Mantzoukas:Give it up for Fiona. Holy cow, that was amazing.

1:01:54Jason Mantzoukas:This movie has 894 reviews, and 38 % of them are five stars. They're all called from Amazon, and I'll start off with this one. From Konji Jin. Actually, a good movie. I was skeptical when my hubby and kids wanted me to see it. What I liked about it was that there was no kissy face sex scenes or much profanity. The movie spoke for itself as movies should. Go see it. Five stars. I mean, I actually did like they didn't go for a romance between Matt Damon and General Lee. I agree. Yeah. I mean, we're sort of walking that line. or I thought we were headed there at some point, but I think they made the right choice there.

1:02:54Jason Mantzoukas:They respected themselves as warriors. Yes. And I guess it makes sense that that's why he did go with Pedro. He wasn't in love with her to stay there. Not at all. Yeah. I think they fucked. What? After that big battle sequence, when all the space, you know, because they have to also clean those space dogs out of the pagoda area. Oh, they've got so many space dog corpses to get rid of. Push it out into the sea. Yeah, where do you get rid of all those? Just burn them? Just burn the space dog corpses? I mean, probably eat them. Ooh. Right? Yeah, like Ronto Roasters. Sequel. Sequel? Everybody's roasting that Tao Tai.

1:03:39Jason Mantzoukas:Just like a big barbecue movie. It kind of becomes like a funny, like... It's like Matrix 2 with the rave. It's just a barbecue. Zidlaw McGlecky writes I promised myself never to watch Matt Damon movies because I can't stand his leftist politicking but then I watched this one and I loved it it is a really very good movie it combines great Chinese movie tricks that we know from many other movies of theirs with a riveting story and a horde of toothy alien creatures only a mother could love. Matt Damon is, disappointingly for me, good.

1:04:33Jason Mantzoukas:He slashes the monsters very professionally, which is his job. Now, other than fighting and slashing, there is not much else in the film to recommend. But hey, this is more than enough for an hour and a half of great entertainment. Five stars. Wow. What a ride that was. Yeah. This is from Grady Padgett, and the title is, not your average Monsters at War movie, dot, dot, dot, not at all. I'm going to just jump in midstream. This movie, I will add this movie to my collection. This will be a great flick to have my friends over for a night showing in the barn. We put up a big white sheet on the wall, we use the Sony projector, and pass around the popcorn.

1:05:36Jason Mantzoukas:Which kind of projector? The Sony projector. Did they buy that on Amazon? Maybe. The kids will scream and love every minute of it. Matt makes a great hero. Matt? Yep. Proving... Awfully familiar. Yeah, I know, very. I also love that the kids will scream every minute of the... I would actually like to watch the movie that way. Ah! Ah!

1:06:10Matt makes a great... Just long screams until they pass out.

1:06:17Just a bunch of unconscious kids on the floor of a barn somewhere, covered in popcorn. You get it.

1:06:28Jason Mantzoukas:Matt makes a great hero, proving that tigers can change their stripes. thank you all for a job well done and please there's just a peak of a chance for a sequel where Matt might come back for his only to find her the nation deeply embroiled in another race against time fighting a new implacable foe that he must contend with oh yeah five stars Wow. People are really going in on these. Really, truly. They are invested. Can you imagine watching this movie on a white sheet? In a white sheet? I think it's on a white sheet. I said on a white sheet. I thought you were saying it was a KKK rally where they were screening the Great Wall.

1:07:26Is that a Tao Tei? It's a Tao Tei. Guys, no, I don't want to freak anyone out. There's a Tao-Tai.

1:07:32Jason Mantzoukas:Do not bring your Tao-Tais to the theater. You got to shut off your cell phones and keep your Tao-Tais in the parking lot. This last one is from Kitty. It was written in July. Kitty Dukakis? Kitty Dukakis. Well, when I read it, it might very well be from Kitty Dukakis. Oh, no. This was written in 2017. When my husband Michael ran for president. You'll see why in a second. A mistake to watch, but I was incredibly drunk, so I thought I was watching Jason Bourne fight mutated cockroaches. Very exciting. Five stars. Now, when I read that, I said drunk, because I thought you needed to hear it that way, but the way it's written is, I was incredibly drunk.

1:08:29Jason Mantzoukas:I was incredibly drink. And the title is Mistake to Watch, but I was incredibly drink, dot, dot, dot. And those are some of the reviews of The Great Wall. Now, The Great Wall came out in 2017. Its budget, I'm sorry, was$150 million. And its opening weekend, it made $18 million. Domestic. That's here. But worldwide? $350 million. $334 million. That's$289 million foreign. This movie was a huge hit. It came in 59th in the United States out of all the movies made in 2017. Star Wars, Last Jedi, Beauty and the Beast, and Wonder Woman were the top three. This movie was beaten by Fate of the Furious. This movie beat The Return of Xander Cage, Valerian, Geostorm, The Disaster Artist, and The Snowman.

1:09:26Jason Mantzoukas:What can you do, people? You guys gotta be quicker on that. So interesting, it's a hit and one little fun fact is that Andy Lau, who is the strategist, the guy who shows the PowerPoint, and Matt Damon both played the same role of an undercover gang member working in a police force in Infernal Affairs. And the departed. Yeah, so they shared a role. Jason June, would you recommend

1:10:01Jason Mantzoukas:people to watch this movie? It would be hard to do that. I would say yes, but if you're going to watch the, if you're going to do the podcast. Well, yeah. I would say watch it, but fast forward through sections. until it looks like something, some big spectacle is happening, then watch that. Hmm. All right, I like that. I would watch the set pieces. Yeah, I mean, there is a lot of pieces of this movie that I enjoyed. But it's hard. It doesn't amount to anything, of course. But there was a lot that I did enjoy. It's a very simple plot. and I think if you don't know they're space dogs, that to me is the moment where, like I haven't felt a shock like that.

1:10:55Oh, I was stunned.

1:10:56Jason Mantzoukas:I mean, it really was like, like it really got me. I don't think I'd seen the poster or anything. Are there Tao Tais on the poster? No, there is a Tao Tai poster. It's just an eye. It looks very much like How to Train Your Dragon, a movie that Jason loves. Love it. I love all three of them. I love all three of them. What I will say is... Toothless? Come on. Maybe what you should do is bring this movie over to a friend's house. Like, oh, it's a beautiful historical picture. And you set it up and then you can get to watch their natural reaction to the Tautais. That's the best way to kind of watch it.

1:11:37That's a great proposal. Do the Great Wall prank on your friends.

1:11:44Jason Mantzoukas:We want to start our own Jimmy Kimmel-style video pranks. Tape your friends watching it to see what they react to when they see a Tao Tai. And then throw a dead Tao Tai at them. I think this is a good, like, you're cleaning your house, your apartment, vacuuming movie. It's on in the background. You see a flaming marble. You're like, oh, cool. You see a balloon. You don't have to get into it as much as we did. It's interesting on some level. Don't meet us here. Don't live our lives. Yeah, it's not great over here. These are desperate times. Now, did anyone get the inside joke in the movie? Come again?

1:12:27Jason Mantzoukas:Yep, this guy got it. All right, so when Matt Damon was asked if he'd been left behind before, he replied, yes, twice before, and it didn't end well for them. This is an homage to Interstellar and The Martian and both he was left behind on other planets when an expedition went wrong. But I would say Bourne too, right? I mean, well, I guess he wasn't left behind, but he was left for dead. Saving Private Ryan. So he's been left, maybe this is a fake. People abandon Matt Damon. That is the lesson here. People are like, gotta get away from this guy. Oh my goodness. Boston, you have been an amazing crowd.

1:13:14Jason Mantzoukas:You did it, Boston. You fucking did it. Thank you so much for coming. Happy birthday, Matthew. Welcome to Omaha, where work and play meet. Where productivity meets the after party. Where downtown convention space and hotels are within walking distance of 90 restaurants, pubs, and unique shops. Where locally made morning lattes meet 5 o 'clock craft cocktails. and where colleagues meet to explore the waterfront views in our 72-acre downtown urban oasis. And where in 2028, a modern streetcar will take you to even more entertainment options. Go to visitomaha.com slash meetings to learn more. It's like math.

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