Ep. 477: Alex Kaehler's new book, A Welcoming Home

16:03How to Decorate Hosts:What a great prompt. Right?

16:06Alexandra Kaehler:Great. Yeah. And like specific enough, but not too specific. And so this was, you know, it was five years ago. And this was just as Sohn was really getting this presence in the United States. And I showed her this, this Dianthus chins from Sohn and she completely fell in love with it. She's like, it's, it's perfect. It's everything I want. And I remember going to place the order for, you know, a gazillion yards. And my rep was this like lovely woman who I ended up becoming good friends with over the years. But she was like, oh, okay. Like she was even surprised by it. And I was like, oh gosh, I hope that doesn't mean I'm making a mistake here.

16:49Alexandra Kaehler:But like, we're just going to commit. And my, again, my instinct was like, okay, we're going to do the drapes and we're going to do the walls. Let's do the bed in a solid. And my sister was like, no, if we're doing this, like we are committing to this. And I was like, okay, well, if we're going to do it, let's do like a square headboard. And she was like, uh-uh, we're going to do this like really fancy scallop shape. And she really pushed me. Like this was not, I would have pulled back and I think it is so spectacular and it's so impactful and yes it would have been beautiful if we made those other choices but it's so much stronger like this um and it's just you know not everybody can have a bedroom like that like my husband is always like I would never fall asleep if that was my room like I just it's like would like you know make me go blind don't you think it kind of like goes away in a sense yes you know

17:49How to Decorate Hosts:Like it sort of becomes a neutral, as crazy as that is.

17:53Alexandra Kaehler:No, I totally agree. I always push people on that in bedrooms who feel like, oh, we need like simplicity to create calm. I think you can create calm in other ways if there's not all these fighting patterns and textures. But yeah, it's just a showstopper of a room. It's special. And, you know, she found like that wingback chair that she's got in the corner in that same chintz. She found that in my grandparents' storage room. And she just got all these really meaningful pieces layered in. And what's funny is that I purposely shot her house right, not right when it was finished, but like pretty shortly after because she is a collector.

18:35Alexandra Kaehler:And the amount of layers, things that have been added since I finished, since I shot it, I should say. It's beautiful, but it's a lot. it's so funny that you say that though because flipping through the pages um you know the chapter

18:53How to Decorate Hosts:that is her home it's not the way you're describing it i'm sure listeners would think it would feel really over the top but there's a real quietness and i think that's something that i yeah there's a real quietness there and it's not overdone um and it's you know there's still a lot of moments that don't where it doesn't um you know you kind of have to look for the whimsy I guess you know like you kind of talk in the book about um the art feeling a little bit traditional but also a little bit fanciful um so I'm you know your your own design work does have a real edited quality quality to it which I've always loved um and that's still evident here in your sister's house, even though she did kind of push you to go further.

19:42Alexandra Kaehler:Yeah. And I think my editing has kind of faded into the background for her as time has gone on, which is great. And I want clients' houses, whether they're my family or not, to be a reflection of them, not of me. And so, you know, in terms of photographing it and publishing it, it made sense that it was at this kind of edited AKD phase of things. And I love going over and seeing what she's added. And, you know, every once in a while she'll run something past me, but usually like she just chooses things she loves. And I love that.

20:15How to Decorate Hosts:Okay. But because it is your sister, do you ever just go through and be like, I'm just going to restyle this?

20:20Alexandra Kaehler:Oh, yeah.

20:21How to Decorate Hosts:Of course. Tone it down a little bit.

20:22Alexandra Kaehler:All the time. I went over to her house a few weeks ago to play Mahjong and I was like, your family room shelves look terrible i'm taking it all out and i'm redoing your shelves and she was like oh i love that okay and i just really was like yeah it just has collected stuff and like it the scale is wrong and i'm gonna just it took me 20 minutes and i just restyled the shelves so yes i'm still me and you know she can always tell me no you have that bond with a sister where

20:50How to Decorate Hosts:you can tell them yes yes yes no that is not a cute outfit on you yeah yes i have a brother this this is all not anything we would ever discuss. I wish I had a sister like the three of you.

21:05Alexandra Kaehler:Well, sometimes. I don't know. I feel like I'm obsessed with my sisters, but there is, there's a lot of, there's a lot of communication about each other's thoughts, you know? Sometimes we could probably keep them to ourselves. That's very true.

21:18How to Decorate Hosts:I would love to talk about the arts and Crafts House because I loved that project. And in some ways, it almost felt more full-on than your sisters. There were certain rooms that were just so wonderfully saturated. I loved that. Well, actually, start by just telling maybe our listeners about the house a little bit and sort of the, you know, the jumping off points. Okay.

21:49Alexandra Kaehler:So it was, it's a 1920s bungalow in the arts and craft style. It's a very, it's a very Chicago, like Midwestern style of architecture. And from a construction renovation perspective, it really didn't need very much, but it was really kind of just this sad flat house. And my client came to me and she's from the South and she was like I want color and traditional shapes. And so my first step for people is always to ask them to collect inspiration imagery. And it can be, you know, a paint color that you like or a whole room that you like or something you don't like. And she collected these images for me and it was all over the place.

22:32Alexandra Kaehler:Like really like kind of funky Jacques Grange, like French things, things where I was just like, I thought we were going this totally different direction. and I really struggled. And some of it was like super, super, super traditional, like very European heavy, like what you see in a castle. And I was having a really hard time pulling common threads. And so we sat down together and basically what I realized is that she loves saturated color and she loves like whimsy. She didn't want it to feel serious. and she did like traditional, but she still wanted to feel fresh. And so, um, that was kind of all I needed in terms of a brief and, um, we just got to work and it was, um, it is, it's saturated and pattern filled and whimsical and it doesn't feel formal or serious.

23:31Alexandra Kaehler:Um, and you know, really the only construction we did was some light renovations in the kitchen, but they didn't want to take that full renovation on. And so we just kind of put some lipstick on it. And I think it just turned into such a cool, funky house. It just has so much personality. And we incorporated a ton of family heirlooms that they had, which I love when I have the opportunity to do that and inject those meaningful things. And yeah, I just kind of love that it went from this house where like, I didn't really know what they wanted. And then it turned into being like one of my favorite projects.

24:11Alexandra Kaehler:And it has so much personality. Sometimes when you get kind of a diluted brief, you end up with a diluted end product. And this was not at all the case. I feel like we were really able to hone in on what she wanted, what they wanted.

24:27How to Decorate Hosts:I mean, the purple banquette was, I was just sort of a wow moment. You know, just to describe it for your listeners, our listeners. It's a giant U-shaped, what, pleather, purple leather banquette. It sounds hideous. I mean, it sounds hideous, but it is magical. Yeah, you didn't describe that well. I mean, you described it, but you didn't. I mean, you know, I'm trying to be hyperbolic because if you were to just describe it, yeah, it's a u-shaped like almost a grape yellow but like in a great purple but in a great great i mean it's beautiful um but it grounds the wallpaper that's happening behind it so fabulous a lattice yeah wallpaper which again the chint shade oh the shade just makes it oh my gosh such a good mix shade is like everything i think for that space it was like

25:25Alexandra Kaehler:If you look at the wallpaper and the chintz light fixture, you're like, oh, it's so sweet. And so we needed something to make it not feel sweet. And yes, the purple. It's called egg. It is. It's aubergine, Caroline. No, it is. Yeah, like that just, it like totally amps it up, you know? It feels playful and it doesn't feel serious and it doesn't feel too sweet. Um, and, and purple is a color I really struggle with. It's not something I'm generally drawn to. And when I think about this space, I don't think any other color would have worked like pink or coral would have felt way too girly. And I think a blue would have felt way too serious.

26:10Alexandra Kaehler:Like it just, it's just worked. Um, and it pulled some of those colors out of the chintz, which I think just draws your eye up even more to that light fixture. and and I think the other thing to note and you don't necessarily get this from the book is that this little breakfast nook where it lives is open to the kitchen completely and the kitchen is like you know it's white cabinets the walls are wallpapered in a really subtle stripe but it's a pretty neutral space and so I love the idea of having this really bold moment that's kind of tucked away. Yeah.

26:45How to Decorate Hosts:Well, I love, there are other bold moments in this house too. There are. Yeah, there are a lot, but that I feel like are, act as like grounding connections from room to room. Yep. That's what I wanted. The bold yellow butler's pantry. Fabulous. That had got, how many shades of yellow did you try to go through? Seriously. I am one.

27:09Alexandra Kaehler:It was the very first one wow my design assistant was like i think this color is perfect huge flex oh my god yellow so hard total flex yellow is hard but i think the key to this yellow was that there was it felt really rich without going into like an ochre like it it felt very truly yellow and but not buttery and sweet and and to your point liz like it pulled from the dining room in this really beautiful way. It balanced the white kitchen because it sits between the kitchen and the dining room. And so, you know, it's like you want some attachment to those spaces. And I think yellow is a color people are so scared of because it can be hard to live with and it also can feel really dated.

27:58Alexandra Kaehler:And this just felt fresh with the green countertop. It was just unexpected and funky and cool.

28:05How to Decorate Hosts:yeah well props to your book designer too because they paired it in the most beautiful way with the wallpaper showing showing just how it picks up from the gold in the peacock's feathers it's just

28:17Alexandra Kaehler:yeah it's just everything it's so good thanks it was fun that's i mean you know there's nothing better than what a client was it just goes for it what an incredible i love that wallpaper in

28:28How to Decorate Hosts:the dining room and how it, you know, the, um, you mentioned that it's your client's grandmother or grandparents dining set. Um, and it really adds a lightheartedness in there that I think so many people like wish they could use their grandparents, you know, their heirloom pieces, but struggle to come up with a way to make it feel not like it just, you picked it up and put it in there. And you just did that so beautifully.

29:02Alexandra Kaehler:Thanks. I think a dining set is really hard. I have people come to me all the time with a dining table. Love that. That's easy. No problem. You can integrate that into just about anything. But the full set, the table, the chairs, the buffet, the corner cabinet, it's tough because I think it can feel stuffy really, really fast. And so we went really strong in the other direction to balance that. And this like, you know, tropical, bold, saturated mural paper was just, it felt like the perfect counterbalance. Like it couldn't feel stuffy with that on the walls, right? Like it's just, it was like no matter what the furniture in that room was, it was not going to feel stuffy.

29:47Alexandra Kaehler:And I love that she had these pieces that were meaningful to her and wanted to incorporate them. And they'd been in her family for a long time. And we reupholstered the seats on the chairs and we did add different end chairs, which felt important to sort of just bring in a little bit of softness. Because I think when the chairs are all wood and the table's wood and there's all these case goods that are wood, you need some softness there. But the pairing of colors, it's kind of like this mushroom with coral. And then the drapes are like a olive. So these are some, the coral obviously is pulled from the wallpaper, but that like kind of taupe and olive are really unexpected and kind of quiet, muddy colors that just balance the saturated paper a little bit so that it doesn't feel juvenile.

30:36How to Decorate Hosts:Was there any part of you that was going to try to talk her out of using every piece from in there? Was that ever in the conversation?

30:43Alexandra Kaehler:Yeah, I think I brought it up at one point. Like, could we use the table in the buffet and put the chairs in the corner cabinet in storage? But she pretty quickly was like, no, I really want to use the whole thing. And, you know, had I felt like we were sacrificing the design, I may have pushed a little bit harder. But like at the end of the day, this is her house and those are meaningful things to her. And I'm just not the person who's going to come in and be like, nope, sorry. Like, I know you care, but I don't.

31:16How to Decorate Hosts:Well, and what a, like, you know, it sort of led you to create this really, really unique space that no one else could replicate, which I think is really cool.

31:26Alexandra Kaehler:Yeah, I think so, too. And it has personality and it feels like hers. And she walks into it and she's like, oh, this is like my grandmother sat here and, you know, served Thanksgiving table off of this buffet. And, like, that's what a home should be. Okay.

31:40How to Decorate Hosts:I also loved that pink or, well, red, pink, pinky floral sectional. The best. It's my favorite piece of furniture. And this is a real theme throughout the book in your work is patterned sofas and sectionals. So talk us through that because I can imagine many a people would think that was very scary and a lot of yardage and a lot of commitment. So tell us why a pattern so far sectional is so great.

32:13Alexandra Kaehler:So, I mean, there's a few reasons. The first is that it's just inherently camouflage, right? So you spill something on a solid color and like, that's all you see. You spill something on a pattern and it can kind of like blend in a little bit. And so that's a big selling point for people who have dogs or kids or, you know, are messy themselves on their furniture. Like it is less precious when it's a pattern. So that's first of all. Second of all, the places where I tend to do like this piece or the green floral sectional piece in my sister's house, those are both really small rooms where this sofa is like the moment.

32:54Alexandra Kaehler:This is the main thing you see when you walk in. And there aren't many other pieces of furniture in the space. And so I think in that case, you want it to be strong. You want it to have like a bold sort of something to say. And otherwise, those small rooms can feel a little bit flat. And so like this room, there's nothing flat about it. And all it is is this sofa and a small desk. There's no other furniture.

33:21How to Decorate Hosts:There's not even drapery, which I didn't even notice until, yeah, flipping back in. Yeah.

33:26Alexandra Kaehler:Yeah. Yeah. And that, you know, I think that opting out of drapery, I mean, I have a project that's in the book also where we didn't do a single window treatment in the entire house, except for in the bedrooms. And that's coming from someone who loves drapery. But I just, I think sometimes that edit, that choice to not add in another layer can be really strong and meaningful in the design.

33:52How to Decorate Hosts:Is that project without the window treatments, is that something, was that a client directive or is that something that you just felt like it didn't need it?

33:59Alexandra Kaehler:We kind of came to it together. It like, once we started talking about that as a component to the design, we both felt like, gosh, that just, it doesn't align with the aesthetic. First of all, it felt like kind of, like, I hate to say this because I don't actually think that drapery is stuffy, But in their house, it felt stuffy. And they have these really beautiful original windows. And it felt like it totally distracted from that and took away from the strong architecture of the house. And so it wasn't this decision of like, we're not putting window treatments anywhere on the first floor. But as we would complete each room, we were just like, this just doesn't need it.

34:42Alexandra Kaehler:Wow. And yeah, I mean, that is not something I do often, but, you know, sometimes.

34:47How to Decorate Hosts:I mean, you have tons of beautiful drapery in here. And, you know, I feel like every designer is like, drapery, it's the best part. So it's funny to hear that. But I can see where it makes sense. Yeah. It would also definitely compete with that gorgeous sofa.

35:04Alexandra Kaehler:Well, that's the thing, right? Like, had I done drapery in there, I think I probably, I don't think I would have done drapery in that room, actually, because I think that drapes with those pink walls and that pink sofa, I think it would have felt really sweet. I think if I was going to do any window treatments in that space, I probably would have done like a woven of some sort. but the light in there is so beautiful and it's their office and so they don't use it at night so they don't need it for privacy so it was kind of an easy space to say like let's let the windows shine and you've got you know windows on all three sides of that space um and if you don't need it for privacy and you don't need it for aesthetics then it's an easy skip um can we talk

35:46How to Decorate Hosts:about the house with the family that doesn't cook because that's the one with no window treatment Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. Tell us about, I just thought that was a funny, you know, like detail in there. And that was how I was classifying it. No, I totally did as well, Caroline, because the line about how she yells at her husband when he makes eggs, because she's like, this is not a functional kitchen. This is not a cooking. Yes. That was so funny. To hear our listeners up for this house, because I feel like there's some context they're missing.

36:21Alexandra Kaehler:Oh, it's so good. So here's some important context. She's one of my best friends. And so I get to see kind of the inner workings of them. But basically, husband and wife are both high-powered attorneys, lead super busy lives. They have three young kids. and they bought this beautiful, just like amazing 1920s house with really amazing architecture and original details. And she has sort of like a funkier taste. It's definitely, she didn't want florals everywhere. She wanted color, but in sort of a refined, very intentional way. And when we went to renovate this house, we started having a conversation because it had a closed kitchen.

37:10Alexandra Kaehler:And actually, the previous kitchen wasn't really a galley kitchen, but it was closed to the rest of the house. And we were talking about like, okay, we could blow out this wall in between the kitchen and the dining room and then move the family room into what is right now the dining room to give you this sort of like modern floor plan. And she said, you know what? I don't want my kitchen open to the rest of the house. Kitchens are messy and I don't want to be looking at that mess. And I want to do a really traditional galley kitchen. And the choices were made purely from an aesthetic perspective.

37:49Alexandra Kaehler:So like polished marble, not the most functional, but like we wanted polished marble. And, you know, those lacornia ranges for people who really cook are not always a hit.

38:06Alexandra Kaehler:She it was actually really fun to do a kitchen like that because usually when I'm doing kitchens, it's like, okay, you know, how many pots and pans do you have? And how can we maximize storage? And, you know, when you're cooking, where do you like to prep? Do you prep by the stove? Do you prep by the sink? Like, I mean, kitchens are incredibly time intensive and difficult to design because people spend so much time in there versus this family who does not. And she does like, she truly gets upset with him when he cooks eggs. She's like, this is not a cooking kitchen. And then he comes back to me and he's like, Alex, did you design me a kitchen that I'm not allowed to use?

38:47Alexandra Kaehler:And I'm like, sorry, not my fault. But yeah, it's unique. They're not entertainers, which is another thing where I think that like sometimes it's an aspirational thing for people where they're like, oh, we entertain. But then when I really kind of push them on like what entertaining looks like to them, it's like having another family over to watch a football game, you know, or like they're not throwing big formal dinner parties. These guys were just like, no, our house is not like the hangout house. This is we don't have parties. That's just not our style. and it was really kind of great because it was like, all right, let's just design what works for the five of you.

39:27Alexandra Kaehler:Like we don't have to think about, you know, you're hosting Thanksgiving for 35. Where's the table gonna go? And, you know, like it's truly the five of you and what works for the five of you. And their kids sit at the dining table and do their homework. And, you know, their oldest son goes into the sunroom and does Legos. And, you know, it's just, it was cool. It was a really unique design experience for me. And I loved that they were really clear about what they wanted and what they didn't.

39:57How to Decorate Hosts:It is a gorgeous kitchen. And we've been talking about kitchens a lot lately. So what stuck out to me was we just recently had a conversation about, you know, how could you have a sink not at the window? And you didn't put it at the window. You just put it in there and put a beautiful piece of art over it. and it's stunning. It's a stunning, stunning kitchen.

40:22Alexandra Kaehler:I think that, you know, when you're doing a galley kitchen, you don't have as many walls that you're working with. And those, we have a big set of beautiful glass French doors that lead out to a courtyard and we didn't want to sacrifice that. That felt like such an important architectural element for the space. And so we just put the sink off to the side. And again, like it helps that they don't cook because we put an antique oil portrait over the sink. So, you know, we're not worried about that. But I mean. Okay, but they still do dishes. I mean, kind of.

41:00How to Decorate Hosts:But you got to have plates. I love this for those.

41:04Alexandra Kaehler:You don't have to, Caroline. You don't have to. I think there's some paper plate usage happening. Okay. Some people love paper plates and disposable plates. Yeah. I mean, we're in the Midwest, you know, like there's not the sense of like formality that you guys have in the South.

41:20How to Decorate Hosts:I mean, even if it's melamine, like, come on. No, I'm kidding. No, my mom, who's again, but she's not, she's from New England. But the point is, is like she loves to this day, she'll come over and be like, do you want to get out the paper plates? And I'm like, no, I own plates. They go in the dishwasher after.

41:38Alexandra Kaehler:These guys, they have plates. I have plates. They have plates. I chose them. They, you know. They're fought by Chinette. Get it. I'm joking. They're real. They're ceramic. And like, they need something to put their takeout on. Yeah.

41:56How to Decorate Hosts:That's what I mean. Like, even if you aren't cooking, like, you've got to eat off something. Although, you know what? I do. I love this. I loved this project for that reason, which is that design for your life. And don't be and be unapologetic about it. And if you don't cook, don't make the kitchen the centerpiece of your design and your layout. And like and just be honest with yourself and your designer, obviously, about what you do.

42:23Alexandra Kaehler:That's what I was saying, like about the entertaining thing is I think it's such an aspirational thing for people where they like want to be an entertainer, even if they're not. And entertaining like that's a when you're designing a house for entertaining, like that is a very specific brief. You know, you're really like you're maximizing butts in seats and you're maximizing how much your table extends. And that's going into every single design choice. And so if you don't have to account for that, that's a really different take on a project.

42:56How to Decorate Hosts:OK, walk us through the rest of the house, because there were definitely it was it had like a more modern, I would say, maybe not modern, but like streamlined, clean sort of aesthetic. and I mean I love the I guess like the TV room or the den with that green wall color. So you know maybe how did the the the choices flow into the rest of the house?

43:25Alexandra Kaehler:Yeah so we did this house in stages which I think can often be really challenging because you're sort of making decisions in a vacuum that will ultimately impact other spaces pretty significantly um and so it's not always my favorite way to design but because she is a friend of mine and we it was very like collaborative and and she did have such a distinct idea of what she wanted um it didn't negatively impact us and I actually think in a lot of ways it made the design more interesting and um you know she definitely pushed me to pull back on my pattern and color um um, inclinations, um, which was fun because she, it's not like she was saying, I want the whole house to be white and beige.

44:13Alexandra Kaehler:We have a ton of color, but it's just really, really intentional. Um, and I think that that can just make for such strong design. Um, like the family room was one of the last rooms we did actually. And it was like, okay, we've got this, um, big, her formal living room is all white, which is not in the book. Um, but then there's a sunroom, which is the Sandberg blue tree wallpaper, which I think on its own could feel sort of girly, a little bit softer. But then you come into the dining room and you've got these black leather chairs, which again, on their own could feel really masculine, but they're balanced with this wallpaper.

44:55Alexandra Kaehler:And so color drenching the family room felt like such an obvious choice because it sort of created this flow through the first floor of there not being too much tension between the spaces, but they didn't match. It felt like, okay, they all go together in some way. It's not like the dining room's got this super formal mural paper, and then all of a sudden you're moving into... to, you know, I don't know exactly. But my point is that because the choices were more edited and a little bit more contemporary, it felt like every single choice had to be really impactful. And I love the way it turned out.

45:41They were really just so fun to work with.

45:45Alexandra Kaehler:And they love art, which is such a big thing for me. And that's also really fun. And they have some really, really special pieces in their house that we sourced together. Some pieces that were family heirlooms for them, like that portrait in the sunroom, that's the homeowner's mom. And I think that as much as I love collecting in layers and when you have this really edited space, there's just something that can feel so elegant about it.

46:13How to Decorate Hosts:Can we talk about your house or your previous house? Because I do want to get at the end to your new house. Okay. So yeah, you, you, you close the book with your now old house. And you kind of talk about how it did evolve over the course of the six or seven years you lived there. What was it about the old house that, you know, kind of moved, moved into the new house? And was there any sort of like directional change from one to the other? Yeah.

46:45Alexandra Kaehler:Yeah, there definitely was. I mean, when we, so our old house, we got renovated. And our new house, we got renovated. But they both were old houses. And so you're sort of working in some existing confines, which I tend to like. And when we did our first house, we had one child. And obviously, I'd worked with clients who had more kids. But when they're yours, you see it a little bit differently. and um you know like we live in chicago and we experience all four seasons to their fullest extent and i remember years and years ago before i had any kids i did a mudroom for a client that was gigantic i mean it was like i think it was bigger in their kitchen and i remember in at the moment being like this is so weird like this is just so much valuable real estate now with three children who play sports, I'm like, oh my gosh, can I convert my whole floor, my whole first floor into a mudroom?

47:45Alexandra Kaehler:Like, where are all of my gigantic hockey bags supposed to go? Because those are basically like additional people who live in my house, those hockey bags. And like the muddy boots and the snowy boots and the like yesterday it's snowing, but today it's raining. And tomorrow it's going to be 75. And like, it's just, there is no mudroom in the world that could be big enough for a Chicago family. And that is something I didn't fully appreciate. And so in my new house, I definitely was like, okay, we're going to really commit some real space to this. My architect from Alabama thought I was insane. He was like, this is really big.

48:22Alexandra Kaehler:But, you know, things like that that are just like functional. But then also, rather than there were more things that I loved about my old house that I wanted to bring into my new house. So I loved that our living room was kind of its own destination. It was separate from the rest of the house. And I found that we really used it because of that. And so we did the same thing here.

48:47How to Decorate Hosts:What do you think made it such a destination? And what was it a destination for?

48:54Alexandra Kaehler:So in my old house, it was the only fireplace that we had. So I think that was a huge thing. We would always go in there for a fire. And our screen porch also opened up to it. And so I think those two things really made it a space that we gravitated towards. And but what I loved is that there wasn't a TV in there and it was kind of separate from the rest of the chaos. And so we would have like friends over with all their kids. And after dinner, the kids would play and like the adults would go and sit in the formal living room. And there was nothing formal about it, but like it was just separate.

49:27Alexandra Kaehler:it. And then I also loved that we could go in there with our kids and there was no TV. And it was just cozy and everyone would bring their books. And so now in our new house, it's not the only fireplace, but we do still use it in the same way. And I'm intentional about that. It doesn't happen quite as organically because there's not this singular pull. But we finished dinner and I'm like, okay, let's go in the living room. Um, cause I want to use it. And, um, and then the other, probably the biggest thing was that our old house had, um, windows that started at the floor and I loved how that felt to live in.

50:12Alexandra Kaehler:It felt like you were sort of like out in the garden and no matter what room you were in and, um, our old house had sort of low ceilings, but but it never felt claustrophobic because the windows were low. And I really, it's not something I ever would have put into words that was important to me until I lived in it. And then I was like, oh, this is a non-negotiable for me. And so when we walked our architect through our old house, as we were starting our new house, I said, like, if there's any way to do this in as many rooms as possible, I would like to. And he did it in pretty much every room for us.

50:49Alexandra Kaehler:And I love it and I'm so glad that we were able to replicate it. Like you can even see, you're going to see all my mess behind me, but like, you know, my like bay windows go down to the floor and that feels small, but really special.

51:07How to Decorate Hosts:And it sort of seems like a no brainer in some ways, because, you know, like a lot of times you can't even fit anything underneath the window with how the ledge is. So it's not like you're losing much. You can always put something in front of the Yeah.

51:20Alexandra Kaehler:Right. Yes. And that's how I feel. And, you know, I mean, there are places like our old house that was just a really symmetrical house. And in the powder room was a full floor to ceiling window right next to the toilet. It's like, all right. I mean, not ideal. But you keep that window trim and closed at all times and like it's fine. But I yeah, in most other spaces, I think you can't go wrong.

51:44How to Decorate Hosts:Okay, back to the TV-less living room. This is a hill I will die on, maybe. But I feel like we've over-TV'd our houses, and now it's time to pull back some. I am so glad to have a living room, and that was something I felt like I had to have when we moved, was a second living room for no TV. And I feel like people, it's kind of great. I don't know. So I'm glad you said that.

52:14Alexandra Kaehler:It's tough because this, again, kind of goes back to how you live. And I don't really watch any TV. And so for me, I'm like, oh, we need like one TV in the whole house. My husband who wants to watch golf, my kids who want to watch their stuff, they disagree with me. And I get that. But I don't want every room to serve the same purpose. Yeah, you know, I want I want there to be a room that if you want to watch a movie You're going to go in that room to watch a movie And if you want to sit and read a book by the fire, you're going to go in that room and sit and read a book by the fire I think that's how you really use your house And it was something I talked to my husband a lot about through the process of like Not every space has to do everything And I think that when you're renovating or you're building and you have the opportunity to make those choices You feel like oh well we should fit everything into every space because we have an opportunity to customize it for ourselves.

53:11Alexandra Kaehler:But I actually think the best design happens when you don't try to make every space do every single thing, right? Like you don't need like cozy seating in your dining room, unless you have the space for it, fine. But like I, my personal preference is for a room to sort of have a purpose and then the next room to have a different purpose. And I do like a little bit more of a formal floor plan for that reason. And I find a lot of people who didn't want living rooms before are coming back and wanting them now.

53:50How to Decorate Hosts:Speaking to every room not needing to have every function, you know, when you do that, like if you do try to fit every single function into a room, you don't necessarily make it the best for the thing that's the most important, right? Like if it's an office, okay, well, if you make it also be a TV room and you want to be able to, I don't know, maybe that's a bad example, but like, then it's not a really great office. Like make it really good for the thing that's the most important instead of every room sort of so multifunctional that it's not great, you know?

54:22Alexandra Kaehler:Yeah. Yeah. I, I agree. Um, Um, you know, like I would never want, for me personally, I don't need like a TV while I'm cooking in the kitchen. I'm like, that's a great time to listen to music. Um, but my husband is different and he's like, I really like to, and he does actually cook. So he gets to say, and he's like, I'd really like to be able to have like the golf on while I'm cooking. So what do you do?

54:47How to Decorate Hosts:Do you hide a TV? Is it open to your living room?

54:50Alexandra Kaehler:Oh, this is a ridiculously specific scenario. So in our house, our kitchen is a really non-traditional kitchen. So there's no upper cabinets and two full walls are windows. And it opens up into our screen porch. And so we did a cabinet that's kind of, or I shouldn't say cabinet. Yeah, I guess it's cabinet. Cabinet with a countertop, just lower cabinets that open. there's windows all above it that look out into our porch. And so we did behind the cabinet is a TV and you press a button and it raises up out of the countertop and it's double-sided so that you can open the windows in the porch and have a TV in the porch and have a TV in the kitchen.

55:38Alexandra Kaehler:Okay, that is specific. Yeah. It's very specific. To me, that was really smart, but like a perfect example of not every room needing to do everything. But it felt really important to Spencer. And I am a very accommodating wife.

55:58How to Decorate Hosts:Does he use it as much as he thought he would?

56:02Alexandra Kaehler:Yes. And my kids use it even more. um and like i will say i like we'll be sitting in the porch and it's raining and we'll turn on a movie in there and i'm like oh this is amazing so yeah it's okay yeah i mean but but i'm over tv yeah i admit it yes it was very clever my husband came up with it he's very proud of himself

56:24How to Decorate Hosts:his party trick love it yeah i think it's the connection part i think it's what we're going for. It's like we're now too connected that we now need the space to unconnect. So I think that's probably, yeah, to your point, like you want spaces that you're not tempted by even, like

56:43Alexandra Kaehler:there's nothing to your point. Well, and I'm a huge reader. And so I will always ask clients, like if you're a reader, where do you like to read? Do you like to sit in a chair? Do you like to sit on a couch? Do you like to lay down? Do you like to look out a window? Do you like to look into a room like it's really you find once you start asking those questions people experience their space based on what they're doing in very different ways um when i was doing my mom's house she was like i only read in a chair and i want to face out a window and i want an ottoman that's the same height as my chair it's like all right got it i love that though i had my marching orders so i think you know asking those questions as a designer is so important because how i feel about designing your space might be really different than how someone else wants it.

57:30Alexandra Kaehler:Yeah.

57:30How to Decorate Hosts:Yeah. Yeah. Okay. When are we going to see the new house? Oh, I don't know.

57:39Alexandra Kaehler:Maybe I, you know, I really don't know is the answer. I, I actually feel like the inside is pretty finished. I treated myself like a client and I had presentations and sample bags. And I was pretty efficient in my decision-making, although all my designer friends would beg to differ because I had like tortured them asking their advice about everything. So I just needed like a sounding board. So the inside feels really pretty finished and layered and I'm pretty happy with where it's at. We're doing a big, not big, but we're doing an exterior project right now because it's a house built in 1929 or 1927.

58:20Alexandra Kaehler:and it has a one car garage. So we're adding a garage right now. And so I keep thinking like, I'd like the garage to be finished and I would like my landscaping to grow in a little bit more before we shoot it. But again, living in Chicago, that might really be asking for too much because it could be like years before my landscaping grows into the point where I'm happy. So I don't know, hopefully like really long-winded answer. Hopefully in the next year. That's my hope. I think that we're getting there.

58:50How to Decorate Hosts:What were the hardest parts that you needed your design friends to help you through? Oh my gosh, I was a nightmare.

58:58Alexandra Kaehler:I literally was like offering to pay random people on Instagram to give me their opinion because I was not my best self. There were certain things that I was so decisive about. And then other things that I just like, okay, so our dining room is original to the house. It's this really beautiful oak and walnut paneling. I don't think I would have necessarily chosen to have a wood panel dining room. It feels very heavy and serious and formal, but it was there and it felt so special and it was in beautiful condition. And it felt really important to me to design that room in a way that didn't feel serious because the architecture was so serious.

59:43Alexandra Kaehler:And it's also a much larger room than I would ever choose to dedicate to a dining room. But again, it was existing. That was one where I was like DMing designers who I've never met, but I liked their taste and was like, any chance I could like pay you hourly to make this decision for me? And I really, that was tough. Wait, who was it?

1:00:08How to Decorate Hosts:Can you tell us who it was? Who is it that you were like, I mean, they're different people.

1:00:12Alexandra Kaehler:I'm so embarrassing. I like, Like when I'm stuck, I'm shameless. I'm like lady on the corner. Can you just like quickly come inside and tell me what you think? And then I like just through this really small world story met this designer who I had always loved and loved her work. And we met on an airplane going to the Bahamas. And our kids like hit it off. And we ended up becoming really good buddies. And I was literally sitting on the beach like sketching a floor plan being like, but what do you think about this? like can you and she ended up on the beach redrawing my living room I came home moved all the furniture the way she drew it and it was like perfection and I had been struggling with this floor plan so much so I think that the power of collaboration is amazing and um I can be incredibly decisive with my clients like I know exactly what I want what I like um with myself I was getting a little bit stuck on certain things.

1:01:09Alexandra Kaehler:And then the problem was that once I was stuck, it was like all I could think about. And yeah, I mean, my poor friends. I've got a few like designer group chats that I'm a part of. And like, I think it got to a point where the girls were all like, oh, it's Alex again. No. Like skip over this one. We already told her what rugs she should do in there.

1:01:32How to Decorate Hosts:Are you happy with how it all came together?

1:01:34Alexandra Kaehler:yeah i am and i i am not somebody who like focuses on mistakes so like yes there's things i would do differently i think in retrospect but i'm okay with like the choice that i made and i'm not gonna i don't sit there like feeling tormented by mistakes well the book is incredible

1:01:55How to Decorate Hosts:thank you i also love when a designer makes me not have to decide if i'm ruining it by putting on a book jacket?

1:02:05Alexandra Kaehler:So I felt really strongly about this. I felt really -

1:02:08How to Decorate Hosts:Thank you for taking the choice away from us. Yes.

1:02:11Alexandra Kaehler:I felt like if this is a book you're going to use and read and interact with, the book jackets just get gross and they get ripped and they get bent and it looks messy. And so I really, I think it was Amanda Lindroth had a book that came out that was this, like this without a jacket. And I just fell in love with it. And I was like, this feels like me. It's unfussy. And I liked the lack of formality. And so that was one of my, that was super important to me. And then I wanted a print, like some sort of print on the spine. Oh, and my little ribbon. And I love the bookmark. I know. My little ribbon.

1:02:47Alexandra Kaehler:It's such a pretty cute. Yeah. So, you know, when you're working, when you're doing a book, there's a lot of things that the publisher is like, we're going to choose this. You are not going to, even as the designer. But like the general design of the exterior, I was super involved with, which was really fun.

1:03:03How to Decorate Hosts:It's really beautiful. Welcome home, inviting interiors. Go order it on Amazon or wherever you buy books in your local bookstore. Alexandra, can you tell everyone where they can find you, follow you, see your work?

1:03:15Alexandra Kaehler:Yes. Instagram is the best place. So at Alex Kaler, which is a pain spell, K-A-E-H-L-E-R, design. And I do lots of photos of work, but I also do lots of other unfiltered life stuff because I can't help myself. And yeah, hopefully it's a fun place to be.

1:03:38How to Decorate Hosts:Thanks so much for joining us. That's our show. You're good for having me.

1:03:42Alexandra Kaehler:It was so nice chatting with you guys.

1:03:46How to Decorate Hosts:And that's our show. You can find all of the show notes on our blog, howtodecorate.com slash podcast. To send in a decorating dilemma, email your questions to podcast at BallardDesigns.net so we can help you with your space. And of course, be sure to follow us on social media at Ballard Designs. Don't forget to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode. And please leave us a review. We'd love to hear your feedback. Until next time, happy decorating!