Embracing a New Era with H.E.R.

22:47You can come with one question, one issue, or some women come and just say, what should I do? And that's joinMIDI.com. That's it.

23:03So talk about growing up in a multicultural household. household. Go back to your first memories. And what was it like growing up, Gabby? Man, what was it like growing up, Gabby? So my parents, my dad's African-American from Arkansas. He grew up in Arkansas. My mom's from the Philippines. And she came here when she was like 18. So I had one immigrant parent and one parent from the South, which I'm so grateful for. Like my parents are the best. I love them. I think I wouldn't, obviously I wouldn't be who I am without them. And yeah, trying to think like, how did I grow up in the house?

23:42Craig Robinson:What kind of parents were they? Who was the strict one? And, you know, cause you were an only child for a while. I was, yeah. Until my sister was born when I was like nine. Yeah. Yeah. So my, my mom was the sort of strict, like about school, you know, she's an Asian mom who's like, you know, don't focus on your looks, focus on the books. You know, she was very much like A-minus unacceptable. Yeah. But it was a good thing. It was a good thing. And my dad was strict in different ways, you know, no boys, like all of that. But he also was very much like the one who nurtured my love for music and all my different passions.

24:24Like he would take me out fishing like every weekend. You know, that's something we did as a family. You know, he would cook breakfast and there would be concert DVDs playing in the morning. And my grandparents, my mom's parents from the Philippines lived with us. So I grew up in like a household with my grandparents. Intergenerational living. Yeah. And I loved that. I'm so grateful for that, honestly. And, you know, they would take turns like dropping me off to school. And at one point, my mom's brother lived in the house. And all of them listened to different types of music. All of them were into different things.

24:55So I feel like I got to get exposed to a lot of different tastes. And where did you grow up? I grew up in the Bay Area in a town called Vallejo.

25:07Craig Robinson:How'd your father wind up in Vallejo? So he's a construction worker. And so I think he came down, well, he was in Arkansas, and then he was in Washington. He was all over the place. But he came down for work. I think he heard like there was like a union there where he could like, because his dad, my grandfather, was also an iron worker in construction. And so he came to the Bay Area for work. And my parents lived in the same apartment complex. Yeah, they were like across from each other. And that's how they met. Yeah. Love story. Yeah. Were you always gifted in music, singing? Was that, when did your parents find out that you had a voice?

25:54Honestly, I was like three years old, four years old. I was just singing all the time. Really? And like singing, we're always singing karaoke because that's what Filipino families do at the parties. And my dad had a band, a cover band. So that's a big part of my upbringing. Like my dad being like so in love with guitar and music, even though he was a construction worker on the weekdays, on the weekends, he would play in a band in the Bay Area. and they would like do festivals and weddings like in the Bay Area and they would just do covers. They would do like James Brown and Gap Band and, you know, sometimes they would do like Sweet Home Alabama and Isaac Brothers.

26:30Like there was a lot of music happening in the house already. And so they would rehearse in our living room and the instruments were there. So I would just pick it up. In an apartment building. In our house. In your house. Yeah, yeah. Eventually, yeah. So was your dad your first piano teacher or guitar teacher? What did you learn first?

26:50Craig Robinson:Literally. See, that's where we went wrong. I know, right? We had an awful piano teacher. Our aunt, Robbie, who was just like, she ruined it. She might as well have been in the military. She ruined it first. Got it, okay. Yeah. But you had your dad. Your dad. That must have been really fun. Yeah, it was. And he was big on like, learn your favorite songs. You know? That's how Austin, my son, is learning the piano because his teacher's like, what's your favorite song? And she finds the music for it. And he's down playing Old Town Road. And I'm like, how come I didn't play that? I'd still be able to play.

27:25Craig Robinson:We were running scales and doing etudes and sonatas. That's boring when you're a kid. It's horrible. It's boring. It's good to know, but it's like, don't, you know. Let a kid learn to love it. Totally. How old were you when he started teaching you? Like seven, seven, eight. I picked up the piano first. I was like playing a lot of songs and then I picked up the guitar and then I stopped playing guitar for a while. I wanted to focus on piano. And then one time I'm in the store with my mom and Boogie Oogie Oogie by A Taste of Honey comes on. And she's like, I want that. Yeah. Boogie Oogie Oogie. Exactly.

28:03And she's like, I want you to learn this song. And I was like, mom, like that's a bass song. It's not a guitar. And she's like, okay. So we went to Guitar Center that day and they got me a pink bass. And I started playing bass. I want to see that picture. Yeah. That thing, it must have been bigger than you were. It was huge to me. It was huge, yes. Yeah, I was nine years old, like pink vest. And it was like, you had a pink vest? I did, yeah. Of course you did. Of course you did. Pink furry vest, yeah. Were you Hannah Montana then?

28:30Craig Robinson:Were you feeling that? I think I was. Did you have a little sparkle happening in your soul? There was a lot of sparkle happening. There was a lot of sparkle happening. So how do you go from, you know, hanging out with dad, learning C minor plus A chord, whatever that is, to singing on The View? Yeah. The Today Show, The View. I mean, what was that? Who discovered you? Yeah. How did that happen? So YouTube was kind of just starting and there weren't that many people doing like covers on YouTube. It was like when Justin Bieber started and some of the other people who would post videos on YouTube.

29:10So my dad, I guess someone told him, post videos of your daughter on YouTube, playing and singing, all the instruments she plays. And, you know, just post them. It's like 2008? Yeah. Yeah, 2008-ish. And I'm little and, you know, he posts videos of me on YouTube. And I think the first call my parents got was from the Maury Povich show. And it was like, we saw your daughter's videos. Like, we'd love to have her on the show. And apparently, Maury had to have like one positive episode a year.

29:44Craig Robinson:Where you weren't the father. Exactly. I don't even remember him ever doing shows like that. It's like you were on the one show. And it was like a Talented Kids episode. Okay. And so I was on the Talented Kids episode. and they, I guess the producers from Maury were, you know, somehow connected to The View or, you know, how the networks, they're all connected. And so they were like, we'd love to have her on the Today Show. It was actually the Today Show first. And then it was from there, it was The View. And funny story, actually, even before my Today Show performance, I was playing in a band in the Bay Area with someone I'm working with now, actually Dylan Wiggins who's Dwayne Wiggins from Tony Tony Tony's son.

30:31Yeah. Oh wow. Yeah. And he and I started playing and there was eventually actually we grew the band and it was his brother playing with us and Kehlani was singing with us. Oh my God. Yeah. So we were all in a band together. At one point Zendaya was going to be in the band because they went to school together in Oakland. Wow. Yeah. But I lived in Vallejo so I would just see them on our rehearsal days on the weekends But anyway Before we started doing like the band thing Dwayne Wiggins was like We have an opportunity for them to do Showtime at the Apollo Like we just have to go We might be able to cut the line And like do this audition And like get them on Apollo, right?

31:16You know, the kids stars tomorrow like thing And so we get there And I didn't know at the time my mom already sent a video to the Apollo because she wanted me to be on there. And you know, she's smart.

31:30Craig Robinson:Yeah, she's smart. She was like, you just gonna cut the line. Your mom's like, no. Right, exactly. We're gonna do this better. She was like, it's a long shot, but I'm just gonna send it a tape. Like she did the like, okay, send in your video to Showtime at the Apollo. And she did it. And I think we forgot about it, like about the video. We didn't really think about it. They probably didn't see it. Got to the audition. and we are about to play. And they're like, wait, wait, wait a second. We saw your video already. Like you're going. You must have like missed the voicemail or missed the call. Wow, wow.

32:04Like we want you to… So you actually cut the line. So I actually cut the line. Exactly. And I am not going with Dylan, but I think it worked out. But anyway, I ended up going and like singing Freeway of Love by Ruth Franklin. Wow. And yeah, that was crazy. So that was right before today's show. Were you playing bass or were you playing bass? I was just singing that time. Oh, just. Yeah. Wow. So I did Apollo and it was a really big deal. And we actually had to like put on like this fundraiser kind of concert in the Bay Area so that my parents could like afford the tickets to go to New York. Because it was like so many tickets.

32:40We had to get the hotel ourselves. Like Apollo, they didn't provide all that. Oh, right. They didn't have the budget. Exactly. Just like y 'all got to stand in line. Exactly. Exactly. So those were those like little moments that kind of one thing led to another. And eventually, you know, we're walking out of the Today Show building and like Tommy Mortola is like, oh, hello, Kenny, my dad, you know, we want to meet your daughter. And he's like, what is happening? Like all these people started calling my parents. And then we ended up in LA having all the meetings. I met like Clive Davis and Jimmy Iovine.

33:15And I was 10 years old, 11 years old. What was that like? Were you aware of these people? No. You didn't know what was going on. Yeah, of course not. Okay. Cool. You know, probably was like, I'm tired. I want to go back home. I want to go to school to see my friends. Can I get some ice cream? Exactly.

33:31Craig Robinson:Literally. What was going on with school and friends in the midst of that? When did you have to kind of transition from regular kid to business kid? I feel like my parents did a really great job at not making my life fully a professional life. Like they really wanted me to be able to compartmentalize that because I was on Today Show and the next day I was back at public school. You know, so it wasn't like, oh, we're going to homeschool her. Like my dad was big on like making sure I still was a regular kid. And I, yeah. And like, I didn't have like, I mean, of course, my life was still very different, but he tried to, they tried to make sure that I was, you know, They weren't like, we're all going to move to LA.

34:17My mom was like anti that. She's like, no, we're not going to, you know, have these like dreams that are false. We're not going to move to LA and just forget everything. Like we still have our lives. And she was a lot more practical that way. And my dad was more so the like dream big, like this is going to happen. And this is, and I think the balance helped me a lot. Like I'm really grateful for that balance. And it was hard for them, but I think it really, it worked in my favor. So when did life change? How did her come to be? Right. It was gradual. I mean, how much time do we have? No, we have time.

34:55We have time. As long as you have time, we have time. Honestly. So I actually got signed shortly after some of those meetings. I think my dad was sort of advised like, okay, if you sign one of these deals now, she'll be out of it you know earlier in her adulthood so you don't have to worry about whatever her being in it until she's 40 right you know that was sort of how he was advised and I was signed at where do I begin actually there's so much like backstory so many events that happened but I was on TV and we came to LA we met everyone and I met a lot of different like managers managers and my parents uh were sort of trying to figure out like oh who do we want to work with and of course like all the people in LA when you come they're like come to this set and I was like on set of like I think it was Hancock that Will Smith was shooting at the time because this guy that we met worked with Overbrook Entertainment and so they're like celebrities and we're like oh my gosh like we're hanging out with Will and Jada and like you know they're just like doing in the show business thing.

36:08And so my parents were like, oh my gosh, this is crazy. We're in Hollywood, right? And then we sort of, I sort of started working with Overbrook at the time with Miguel who managed like Robin Thicke and like Jennifer Hudson at the time and Will and Jaden's kids, Willow and Jaden. And so I was sort of one of their artists, but I'm like 11. So I'm still trying to figure out who am I? Who am I? musically and all the exactly exactly but they support they wanted to be a part of my journey somehow and then they stopped managing like other artists and they focused on like i mean i don't i'm not exactly sure what was happening but that's what i've heard what i heard was happening um and then overbrook introduced my parents to uh mbk entertainment which they um managed Alicia Keys at the time and were sort of part of her journey.

37:05And they were like, perfect. And there was another woman working with MBK named Suzette Williams who worked with Lauryn Hill. And so my parents were like, this is a perfect fit. These are all your heroes. Yeah, exactly. Like those are the people that you sort of have always been inspired by, whatever, like this feels like the perfect fit. And so I started working with them. We were traveling to New York. That's where they were based. And eventually, I got signed to MBK Entertainment and the larger companies, RCA. So I got signed to RCA when I was 13 years old. And it was this big thing. I was in the paper in my hometown.

37:43Like, oh my gosh, she got signed. Like, it's a big deal. And all the kids are asking me, oh my gosh, you're rich now. I'm like, no, I'm not rich.

37:50Craig Robinson:Oh, you're famous. So I'm like, not really, no. You know, so that time I was still in high school and I would travel to New York and work on music. And I would work with different writers or producers and different people. And I was just figuring it out. And I'm grateful for that time. And the fact that the label was very much like, oh, she's got to develop into the artist that she's meant to be. Because it's one thing to be a good musician. It's another thing to be an artist, right? Or a writer, like to have an authentic and real perspective. And you're still learning what you like, what you can do, because were you even writing then?

38:30A little bit, yeah. I was writing. My mom always encouraged me to write. And on one of those crazy Hollywood trips, I met Mariah Carey. And she was like, you need to always make sure you sharpen that pen. She told me that when I was a kid. And when you say write, You mean write the music or write the words? The lyrics. Yeah.

38:55Craig Robinson:Explain to my brother why that's important. She doesn't know everything either. I know this. She doesn't know. I know the money part. Right. Totally. I mean, you want to make sure that you have ownership over your words. The words. Yeah, exactly. The publishing is what they call it. Yeah. So when I got signed, like I was writing and trying to figure it out. and suddenly I became a teenager and I had feelings. And, you know, I had things to talk about. And I was feeling the teenage angst and I was like having crushes and like getting my heart broken. It was like, you know. You were allowed to go on a date by then?

39:36Craig Robinson:No. To even get your heart crushed? Not really. You weren't supposed to be getting your heart crushed. Exactly. I wasn't supposed to be. But I was. I was. It was, yeah. My parents were like, I call them selectively strict. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. But you know, you got to live. You got to live something to be able to write something. Totally. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So as I was like finding my voice or whatever, I started writing these songs. I came to New York with stories, you know, and I would be in the studio like, man, like this is what I went through and this about this person. And oh my God, life is over.

40:15Everything's the end of the world. you know and that's how I started making my first project wow but even even before that I think when I was figuring it out there was sometimes pressure like I released a song when I was like 16 under my real name like it was just one song that was like I did like the BET Music Matters stage and it was like oh maybe this is the moment and it wasn't the moment you know I wasn't ready yet and I was doing appearances and doing the things but it just wasn't it wasn't the time. So I kept performing and doing these little showcases in New York and also just being in the studio, still being a high school kid, just like, oh, I can't wait to get out of class and get back to New York and, you know, keep working on this album, this project, whatever I'm working towards.

41:05Craig Robinson:Well, it's a trip how a lot of people describe you at one point as an overnight sensation, you know? It's like nothing rarely happens like that in the business, whether you're acting or, you know, it is. And young people need to understand that. It's like, it's a long road, even when you're young to becoming known and even, you know, you could get the deal, but you haven't figured out the right formula. Exactly. And that takes years and years of development. And it just so happened that you started at three. Exactly.

41:47This summer, the family and I took a trip to Bryant, Texas for our son's basketball tournament. We love barbecue and had a chance to sample some of the local spots and realized how we missed finding places the locals frequent. Trips like that always make me think about how much of the world I still want to see. Of course, the only problem with having a long travel wish list is eventually somebody has to pay for it. Which got me thinking, if you're heading out on your own adventure or a big concert, game, or festival is bringing travelers to your town, you can list your space on Airbnb while you're away.

42:26Instead of letting your place sit empty, you could put it to work, earn some extra income, and give someone a home base to explore your city. They can discover the neighborhoods, local spots, and experiences that make your community special while you put that extra income toward your next adventure. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com slash host. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance, a company committed to helping people move forward and live fully. Hey, Misha, I've got kind of a big question for you. Okay. How much do you think one's sense of stability comes from within versus being shaped by the environment around them?

43:12Craig Robinson:That's a deep question. Told you. I mean, I think stability starts with self. For me, I feel the best when I feel safe and secure in who I am and how I feel about my life at the moment. You know, as I've gotten older, I think, yes, my life has gotten more stable in a million different ways. But I also think that my internal definition of crisis has changed. Things that used to feel totally destabilizing probably wouldn't faze me as much today. Progressive knows that there's so much more to homeownership than just the initial financial transaction. And it's their belief that everyone should feel supported as they navigate the twists and turns that go hand in hand with the housing journey, particularly for first-time homebuyers.

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46:50Craig Robinson:So was it your idea to become her? And to talk a bit about that, how you thought about that and even knew that you wanted that kind of protection at that age? Because a lot of young people, I want to be known. I want to see me, you know, and you were the exact opposite. Yeah, I think it was a combination of like the sort of like I'm being vulnerable and I'm afraid. I was already just like a teenager going through like teenage things and feeling like, oh, I don't want anyone to see me. Like I'm afraid. And also I like, I was scared of what my parents would, you know, think. I mean, not that I was writing anything crazy or doing anything crazy, but I was just like, oh no, like I feel like I'm burying my soul.

47:37I'm like showing the world my diary in a way. And I was, I had this whole vision for like, oh my gosh, like I'm going to name it her because I've always been a perfectionist and a rule follower and was always like, I'm not going to fall for the wrong guy. I'm not going to do the things. I'm going to avoid that. The adults in my life told me all about that. But I knew it. Like, what? I was like a little know-it-all. A little bossy know-it-all. And so when those things did happen, I was like, oh, it's unavoidable. This is life. I'm in it. I'm deep in it. And yeah, I was like, I'm never going to be that girl.

48:18And I became her. And so that was the sort of, that's how that happened. And I was like, at first it was just like, oh, can I just release the music anonymously? And then it was like, well, no, I could be her. I could just be her. and it was actually yeah there was a moment where I realized like okay I could be her and the project can be called her and I can be literally anonymous and I thought okay the cover is going to be me as a silhouette in this like blue light and I like literally edited the cover like on some cheap app on my phone like it was just like a thing and the label they believed in the project, but it was kind of like, well, you're just starting.

49:08So like, we're just gonna like, just throw it out there and see what happens. Like that was kind of the energy.

49:14Craig Robinson:And it's also this concept that you have. It's just like, oh, you're going to release a project. Nobody knows you and nobody will know you. Right. That was new. Exactly. Yeah. But Carolyn Williams, who was like marketing at RCA, she believed in it, you know, and she really championed the idea and had great ideas and just helped me bring it to life. And I was super appreciative of that. And so she really had my back. And everybody had been so excited about my journey in general because of my musicianship. And they're like, okay, there's something here. You have real talent. Yeah. And that goes a long way to people supporting you, right?

49:56Craig Robinson:Totally, totally. It's just like, you're good. Yeah. But they're like, yeah, we know you play at the time. you know, they knew that I played instruments, but obviously the people who listened to my project didn't know about my musician. They didn't know anything about me. So it was just like, oh, yeah, put out your project and then eventually show people who you, you know, who you really are, whatever that was at that time. Things change. But yeah, I mean, during that time, you know, where I was sort of breaking away from being like teenage Gabby, you know, to then I'm gonna commit and I moved to New York on your own.

50:34I was 18. And I started, I did homeschooling, well independent study where they just sent me with my work my senior year so I could be in New York all the time. And at that time my dad was like, okay, you can go. And I started going to New York on my own. And I was 18. And you know, working with these people and figuring it out and then I released the project at 19 and then I was touring a year after that and you know things didn't happen quickly necessarily when they did when they did it was like okay let's go you know which was great so now looking back at that time when you went from sort of teenage Gabby to 18 year old on your own and then you do your project and then start touring What are some of the lessons as you look back now that you learn that you're like, oh man, I'm thinking I could have done this differently or I really like doing this.

51:33I learned this. I truly have no regrets. Like I've forgiven a lot of people. I've forgiven myself, you know, on the journey. I don't mean to speak so cryptically, but I do think there was, you don't know what you don't know. You know what I mean? You don't know what you don't know until you know it. And it's going to happen at the right time, honestly. And you have to trust the process. So that is exactly what I love to hear, trust in the process. Because so many young people today, Mish hears me say this all the time, they want to start at the front of the line. And they don't want to work their way up.

52:12And it really felt like you learned to enjoy. I shouldn't say I want to speak for you. But you seemed to handle the process and enjoyed the process as much as looking at the results. And I think that's really important for young people to know that whether you're going to be a professional musician or an athlete or a carpenter, if you don't like the process, it's hard to be good at it. That's true. Yeah, the pros have to outweigh the cons. But honestly, I'm not going to say I like the process all the time. Like, I actually hate the process a lot, but I trust the process. And I think that's really for me.

52:53Craig Robinson:But that's an important distinction too. Because you're not going to love the process. Not always. Not always. Yeah, not always for sure. But to overall like the bigger picture of the progress or the process and not just be in it for the result all the time. Like I love music. I can't not do music. So it doesn't matter what happens. I'm going to do this regardless. You know, it's kind of a choose your heart type of conversation. You know, it's like, well, is this what you want to be doing? Because if I decided to be a surgeon, that would be hard too. You know what I mean? But that's not my thing.

53:31So music is my thing. So I think that I'm really grateful for the people that I have learned myself through. You know what I mean? Like the people that have been a reflection back to me. And I'm really grateful for the times that I didn't know. Because like the dark times, the times that I felt like were terrible, you know, or were not good for me or anyone. I'm so much stronger because of it. Like my antennas for like BS are very strong. My antennas for, you know, when someone wants to manipulate me out of my own instincts, very strong, you know. And I don't think I would have had that if I didn't go through a lot of the things that everybody honestly goes through in the music industry.

54:26You know, whether it's taking advantage of or whatever, you know, the typical stories that you hear. Those things are real. They happen. And I'm not saying that everybody has to suffer. I don't think everybody has to suffer. But the industry is designed like that. Yeah, exactly.

54:40Craig Robinson:It is designed to find young talent and take advantage of them to support them with the idea that I can skim off this. And you're talented enough that you'll make that up later on. I mean, it's designed like that. And a lot of people don't understand. Just like, you know, it's not designed for you to solely succeed. There are a whole lot of people trying to feed off of what you bring to the table. Totally. You know, and that is part of the process. Yeah. You know. And through that process, I feel like the thing that I would tell my younger self, if I could just a little bit more, is like continue to trust those instincts.

55:23Yeah. You know, you know what's best for you and lean on your counsel, but don't outsource, you know, your purpose. Your journey is yours. Your life is yours. Like you drive the car. you know what I mean and that is something I would definitely tell my younger self but again you don't know what you don't know and I'm I'm really grateful because I feel like I'm exercising my free will more than ever in a way you know I'm like so much more creative because I know what it's like to not feel creative I know what it's like to be at that place where everything's great and then you're moving so fast you miss out you forget who you are or you forget why.

56:10You forget your why. And I've remembered my why and have been intentional about my why more than ever. So you're working on new music.

56:19Craig Robinson:Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. How's it feeling? Oh my gosh. I mean, again, if you would ask me a year ago, I'd have been like, oh. It's like, it'll never, I'll never make it. Literally. You're feeling it, huh? I'm finally like in it. Like I am on the other side of something. I mean, the music for me, the thing that I forgot and we just were talking about it is like the time to live and it's like I can't make music just to make music like it needs to be needs to feel like it's of substance you know and that's the thing that I missed and I forgot about was all those times I was going back home when I was 18, 17, 16 living and then coming to New York with the stories and with the weight of like my life and the things that I felt.

57:09And I forgot that, you know? And so this time, I felt 18 again. I've been feeling like I'm 17, 18 again. Like, I have so much to say. Yeah. I have so much to say. I live a full life. I'm a human. And I haven't felt human in a long time. Yeah. You know? Yeah, and I feel human again. And that, to me, is the most rewarding thing out of— Like, okay, I hope people love it. That's cool and all. I love it. That's great. I'm proud of it. Yes. Like the progression of this project is like, oh my gosh, like there's a person who has something to say. In there. It's in there. And so it's rewarding this process and why I'm so happy and excited about it because I'm pretty much finishing up.

57:58And when's it coming out? Can you talk about that? No dates yet. Working on that. Working on that part. I'm kind of mixing it right now but I've done the work internally not just in the studio but outside of the studio and this has been like a release it's like I've I've just healed through this I've been I've allowed for so many emotions to exist and I put it into something that I'm proud of and that's a really tough thing to wait for this I know yes

58:30Craig Robinson:thank you like yes I mean you were good before you knew anything Right, right. Yeah, that's so beautiful. I'm so happy for you. Thank you so much. I really, really am. You are just, you know, you're a light, you know? Thank you.

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1:03:41Are you ready to give some folks your opinion?

1:03:44Craig Robinson:Oh my gosh, I've got a lot of them. Which I love. it's like you gotta come back because you you know you fit right in you fit right in and you're so young you gonna have a whole bunch of stuff happening after this we gotta get you into co-host every now and then just to be like from Gabby and her world who's our listener question from today this is from Rachel in San Diego okay Rachel my name is Rachel I'm 26 years old and a social media manager Before I started working, I attended a prestigious university, graduated with honors, and interned at a few places related to what I wanted to do. In other words, I did everything right that my parents and professors said would help me get my foot in the door and into the industry.

1:04:35But when it came to the job hunt, I was often told I was overqualified for entry-level positions. And when I got hired at my current company, it feels like everything they liked about my resume was thrown out the window. I am the youngest at the company and my boss likes to make jokes that I am supposedly too young to get. When I ask for more responsibility, I'm given trivial tasks that don't really help me grow. And if I take the initiative to do something more, I'm told it wasn't done perfectly and not to do it again until my boss directs me to do so. I understand I'm supposed to pay my dues, but I don't pretend to know everything.

1:05:13It's frustrating when I ask to have more responsibility doing work that I already know how to do just for my boss to say, I'm not ready for it. So my question is, how do I get my boss to take me more seriously so that I can continue to grow in my position? And how can I stand up for myself and my professional instincts while also respecting the fact that my colleagues have more experience?

1:05:37Craig Robinson:And the first thing I would say is, Rachel, you're right where you're supposed to be. Sounds like a new job. Totally. Sounds like you're 26. It sounds like, yeah, that's where you are. But go ahead, Gab. Yeah, no, totally. And it's funny because you kind of sound like me a little bit or, you know, how I've sounded in the past. And I think I thought about a few things. And one of the things that I thought about was as a musician experiencing something similar, being like the thing that gets you in the door and that actually gets you to the next level is often the thing that people try to change and shift and tell you, no, you got to change it up to be X, Y, and Z.

1:06:32And so that's the part where it's so easy to forget who you are, getting lost in pleasing what other people's idea of what your trajectory should look like and who you should be. That's, I feel like, where that can be tricky and change. And I think the first thing I would say is, are you proud of yourself and the work that you're doing and you have done? Because if you can sit in any room and say, I'm proud of me. I know I did the work. instead of you know struggling with this like I'm not getting the respect I feel like number one is like respect yourself and honor yourself and and the work that you've done like say I'm proud of myself and I know I did good work um you know and and walking with that I think helps but you can't please everybody and especially as a woman you know no matter what profession you're in like we're going to be picked apart regardless, you know, whether it's how we're thinking, what we're wearing, what we say, like we're going to be picked apart.

1:07:37So I do think it's important to maintain that like, I'm proud of myself, you know, and I am doing the work and trust the process, you know, it's going to be hard. Everybody's not going to respect you. Everybody's not going to give you, you know, the thing that you want and the respect that you deserve. And the other side to that made me think of the secondary part of the question. I totally lost my train of thought. Can you repeat the last part of the question? How can I stand up for myself and my professional instincts while also respecting the fact that my colleagues do have more experience?

1:08:16That. We talked about that earlier. And I've recently experienced that where I've had to stop, you know, I mean, again, it's important to be a student. It's important to learn and listen and to, you know, not like get ahead of yourself necessarily. But I think it's also important to know that your perspective and your instincts are valuable. Like just because your colleagues or your, you know, the other people at the company have more experience. It doesn't make you invaluable. It doesn't make you less valuable. Like I think it's important to know, okay, they have the experience and the knowledge, but I have a unique perspective.

1:09:03And I think you should empower yourself to speak up. And it's better that you speak than not say anything and regret like, oh, I wish I would have said something. And again, that outsourcing your power or validation, you know, it's better you speak and then make a mistake and learn than not speak because you think someone is better, you know, equipped. Because I feel like you have the tools, you know, I feel like she has the tools. Well, she may have some of the tools.

1:09:35Craig Robinson:Right, right. She has some tools, like, you know. Totally. And at 26, again, you are still developing the tools. She's developing the tools. Just like you weren't, you had some tools at 19 when you started this, but time proved that now at 28, you got a whole nother set of tools. Totally. And what I want, what's her name again? Rachel. Rachel to understand is like that period of growth, which is time-based, is real. It's real now. And don't underestimate that because growth in the learning process is how you get more tools. Right. So, but with that said, I want to make sure for Rachel that the environment that she in, I'm assuming it's not abusive, you know, and it's not dangerous and it's not, you know, debilitating in any way.

1:10:40Craig Robinson:because those are very separate issues, right? If you're dealing with some really, you know, and there's even learning in that environment too, but you do have to distinguish, am I at a place that's sapping me or am I in a place where I'm just not happy and I'm uncomfortable? Right. Because there's learning to be had in that, getting through that part. Just like you said, Gab, you don't like the process always. Right? The process isn't always fun and doesn't have to be, but you have to get used to getting through parts of the process you don't like. Totally. Because guess what that is? Most of life.

1:11:22Craig Robinson:Yeah. You know, really being able to get through the part of the life that isn't fun and isn't fulfilling and isn't, shoot, that's being a mother, right? That's being a parent. That's being a partner. That's paying bills. I mean, so much of life is like being able to withstand and sustain yourself and be resilient through the stuff that's not fun and you do not like. And she could be learning that and starting to practice and build that muscle in this first job that is frustrating. And, you know, so think about that. I've always found that putting, reminding your boss of what it was like to be in your position opens up a whole dialogue.

1:12:08because bosses love to talk about what they went through.

1:12:12Craig Robinson:So you mean asking your boss, tell me what it was like. What it was like for you when you were 26 and trying to break in. You know, a lot of times when we give some advice, we hear it and we give them the sort of 30 ,000 feet. But that last part where she was asking for practical advice, talk to your boss as if you're interviewing him about his life and talk to him about, hey, how did you get to be where you wanted to be? And I've always found that that is really impactful because supervisors love telling the old stories about what it was like in the olden days. And you will garner something from that.

1:12:59if nothing else, then they will understand when you start doing some of the things that they did to get ahead. So Rachel, take that, all of these. And hopefully these little nuggets will help you.

1:13:17Craig Robinson:Well, Gab, you are a treasure and I really appreciate you coming through. I specifically asked for Gabby. So I'm so glad you were able to make the time and we got you in a space where you had some space. So just keep doing it, girl. Thank you so much. I'm so proud of you. Really. This was really a joy to be with you here. You've given a lot to our listeners and viewers. So thank you for that.

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