Enter the Escape Room with Wanda Sykes

28:29I'm going to remember you. Yeah. Okay. So when he got his talk show on HBO, I got a call and said, hey, Chris Rock wants you to submit some writing materials. So I'm like, sure. So I wrote some stuff, sent it in and got the job. How did it feel being in a room of writers going from you just sitting at your desk to now you're at a table full of peers? Well, luckily, a couple of them I was already friends with because they were stand-up comics. So they were, I was the only woman too, the only female. Yeah, so it was nice to see guys who I had a little camaraderie with. They were good. Yeah, they didn't cut me any slack, though.

29:19It was, yeah, everybody for themselves. And were you still doing stand-up while you were writing for him? So you just keep grinding? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because and that that was my favorite thing is I would submit monologue jokes. And if they didn't make it into the into the monologue, he didn't select them. I was like, oh, he don't think this funny. Watch this. You know, and I'll go into the comedy cellar and do the jokes and get laughs. I told you. They're like, who was she saying I told you to? Like, you know, like it was like I had a fit on stage. Like I do a joke. Yeah, I told him.

29:56I told him. Like, who she talked to? And how did your comedy style evolve? I mean, did you feel your growth through all this process? You know, what changed for you as a comic through these stages of growth? Yeah, I think confidence. Confidence and you just have to have the desire to do it. You know, there's some comedians out here who are doing the same jokes they've been doing forever because it's safe. I like the, you know, the edginess. I like to take some risks. So for me, you know, and my agent, you know, drives her nuts. But as soon as a special comes out, I'm like, well, I got to go make some more jokes.

30:51So she's like, well, you know, you can still tour with this act. I'm like, no, it's done. I'm done with it. Really? Yeah. So after you do a special show like Legacy, then you won't go around and you're going to start off from scratch. From scratch. Really? Yeah. Oh, see, I didn't realize that's how that works. Well, we should use your jokes. You're not going to use them. Go ahead, go ahead, man. Enjoy. Enjoy. It's like, these good jokes. These good jokes is over. She just threw them out. It's just like, well, that was funny. It's not going to be funny again. It's like. But it's not like singers.

31:33Singers, you know, same song. Musician, they do the same song over and over again. You still want to hear it. Yeah. You know. Yeah. And at what point did you say, okay, I can act and I'm going to be in these movies or shows, TV shows? I didn't know I could. I didn't know that. actually it started on the Chris Rock show we had a crew for a day and we were shooting some sketches and then a producer being a good line producer she's like look you have three more hours with the crew you guys have anything we can shoot that's really quick and maybe something in the office and the guys they wrote something video mama and it's like Wanda you gonna be video mama I was like, I'm a writer.

32:22I'm not on camera. She's like, no, no, you can do it. You're going to be Video Mama. And it's a videotape that you can play, and she watches your kids. So you just sit your kids in front of the TV. So, you know, so I'm in there, and I'm like, hey, put that down. You know, where you going? You know, it's like the video. And you're the, I'm the kid. Yeah, Video Mama. Yeah. I wish you would. I wish you would. You know, just. See, that's so good. So we shot that and it got a big laugh. So they just started writing me into more bits.

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34:49So when did you get your first, were you doing that after Chris Rock? Were you just now writing and, you know, the work just comes after that? Did you find or were you still, you know, plotting a career? Were you, was your standup getting bigger? Were you going to bigger audiences? Yes. Uh-huh. My stand-up was getting bigger, my audience. Yeah, I got a special Comedy Central hour special. So first it was a half hour, then I got an hour. Then it was a big tour after that. And, oh, and then I, because of the Chris Rock show, Eddie Murphy, you know, fan of Chris, I got a part in Nutty Professor. Nutty Professor, yeah, that's right.

35:39Yeah, you were good in that too. Yeah, gloating or whatever. I got the hair. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, I love this special legacy where, you know, I mean, yeah, how are you feeling about the political climate? I mean, you know?

36:00It's awful. It's awful. I mean, it's, but here's the thing that. We were stuck in the shittiest escape room ever. That's what it feels like. We have been stuck in the shittiest escape room ever. I mean, you know, all the clues have been redacted. You just can't get out. You can't get out. You need Harriet Tubman to get us out. This bitch, this is awful. It's like Prius. Yeah, yeah. But here's the thing. Um... Like, as bad as it is, right, there's, I think with us, there's a sense of, we're going to get through it. We're going to get through it, right? Yeah.

36:54But it's like, well, why are we out protesting? Because my wife, you know, she's French. So she's like, you know, in France, they just shut shit down. It's like, they just shut it down. That's it. And she's like, why aren't you doing that? I don't understand. Why isn't people reacting, responding like this? I'm like, because we go, you know, yeah, this is really bad. Oh, man. ISIS, you know, deporting people. Oh, wow, they're killing people. Oh, okay, but my Netflix is on. You know, it's like, you know. It's like squirrel. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know, it's we, it's, it's, it's, we have too much stuff, basically.

37:33Yeah. You know, when you have a lot and it's, oh, what they doing over there? Oh, that's bad, you know. Well, as bad as you think something will be, it's like the speed at which we forget about it is pretty amazing to me. And will be outraged. Yes. Because in Legacy, I mean, people really connect with the jokes. I mean, you're talking about immigration. You're talking about racism. I mean, so when people laugh about this stuff, there's a connection. I mean, you're loosening a valve in people. So don't you get a sense that people, like you said, people care. They do. People are affected. Absolutely.

38:14And that's the feedback that I get is they appreciate that I am speaking on these things because they need a release. They need that valve released. They do because you feel like you're not doing anything or you're just under a rock. So when you bring these issues up and bring them to light and allow them to laugh about it, then people really appreciate it. And I hope it makes them think a little, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, it's, but you're not just talking about, and I love the way you talk about the greed masked as benevolence. You know, it's like, if you really want to be green, why don't you take some money off of my room instead of asking me to save some towels.

39:08Reuse my towel. Can you believe that? No, we're not changing your sheets now. What? What do you mean you're not changing my sheets? That's the whole point, right? That's the reason why I'm in. At a hotel, let's say. It's a hotel. You don't get up here and change my sheets. What is wrong with y 'all? I sleep in my dirty sheets at home. No, I want fresh sheets here. And towels. And towels. Say, I want a towel from the front part. I use all the towels. Yep. Right boot, left boot, butt towel, everything. Use them all. Use all that stuff So you talk more about your Family and legacy Yes And you mentioned your wife Alex Being from France How did you guys meet?

40:02We met I saw her On a ferry going Over to Fire Island Fire Island People don't know Off of Long Island, New York So, yeah, something I just saw in the peripheral And I was like, wow, okay And I heard something that said, like, Wanda, that's what you need And I was like Were you dating at the time? Were you dating what you did in a minute now? What?

40:41Maybe dating Okay But not in a relationship There you go. Okay, there you go. I was there. Don't get off. Yeah. I mean, I was saying. Were you out and about? Well, yeah. Because it was like you were looking at what you needed, which sounded like you were getting a lot of what you didn't need, perhaps. Well, yeah. But my friend was like, where are you meeting all these crazy women from? Okay, see there? Tell us about the crazy women. Ooh. Nope. Because when you talk about, they pop up. I can walk out of here and something like, hey, girl. I'm like, oh, jeez. Oh, yeah. It's like Candyman. You can't, don't, don't.

41:27Nope. I'm not talking about. Nope. Nope. Nope. But you had enough bad experiences to be like, hmm, that looks good. I had a therapist And she passed away But we only spoke on the phone She didn't see people Face to face She didn't see any people face to face? I don't think so Maybe a couple So she had passed And I heard her That's what I heard It said Wanda that's what you need And other people who were seeing, who had said that she was popping up little signs and stuff. So anyway, but I thought she meant that, because Alex was sitting with this other woman, and they were playing with a kid. So I was like, oh, maybe that's what she's saying.

42:30Like, eh, you know. And long story short, the person I was dating. Oh, so you were with somebody you were dating. We had a little fallen out. Okay. On the boat after you were looking at Alex? Once I made it to an island. Once I made it to an island. We had a little fallen out. It was like, get her off the island. Okay. Get her out of here. She needed to go. Just she had to go. She had to go. So I was like, call my friend. Yeah, get her out of here. Oh, Lord. So then I walk with my friend and she's like, Wanda, where are you meeting these crazy people from, you know, like, look, what do you say when you, you know, you meet somebody?

43:12I was like, well, I'm like, hey, how you doing? She's like, well, and if I say, okay, so how's your day going? And I started telling her what I did that day. She's like, no, I don't want to hear what you did. Just say, you know, you're beautiful and blah, blah, blah. It's corny. So she's like, and don't talk about your dog. Nobody cares about your dog. So. That was your big rap line? Yeah, yeah. So I'm walking my friend, and we bump into a friend that she knows. And it's like, hey, Wanda, this is so-and-so. Wanda, this is a friend, Mary. And she's like, how you doing, Wanda? I was like, well, I got up at eight.

43:51I had some oatmeal, and here's my dog. And she's looking at me like, what? And I was like, and I'm remodeling my kitchen. And she's like, okay. She said, well, you should talk to my friend, Alex. She's into natural stone and all that. Boom. She was on the ferry. So we started talking. Oh, wow. And from there, that was it. And it was love at first sight. That was it. Nice. And y 'all got married and had kids. Yes. Was that always in your dance card? Absolutely not. No, ma 'am. Was Alex like, look, this is, you get me. Yep. This is, okay. She's like, put down the gauntlet. Yep. She's like, I want kids.

44:41I'm going to have kids. And I was like, okay. And I asked, I said, look, can we, like, just, can you hold off? Like, give me at least like a year. And let's try to figure out. No, I didn't ask for you. I said, can we hold off? like, give me like three, six months and let's see where this is going. Yes, that seems reasonable. Because if this is, you know, where I think it's going, then I'll probably get there. I said, but, and she said, okay. So she did. And how long did you guys date before you had kids? Jeez, maybe, I guess maybe a year. Okay. Yeah. September. Yep. Yep. About a year and a half, I think.

45:28So your world, you just went from zero to everybody's here. Now, how did your dog react? I said two years. It was two years. It was six or two years. How did your dog react? That's who you talk about that. Yeah. What's your dog's name? His name was Riley. His name was Riley. Poor Riley. Missed that guy. Yeah. Riley, when we brought the kids home, Riley looked up at me and it was like he said, you effed up. He was like, you effed up. He's like, we had it so good. He's like, why you do this? This is going to suck. You know that, right? I don't know. You really messed up. You messed up. So what did it, what was the adjustment period?

46:17So, you know, you got, you meet the right person, the love of your life. You date for a little bit. you decide this is it. Now you're married with kids. Did it feel like your head was about to spin off the changes in your life that happened? And how did you manage the adjustment? It felt right. It was a lot. It was a lot, but it just felt like, okay, no, this is how it's supposed to be. I felt like I was in my place. And I felt like blessed, really blessed, like I got kids now, you know, because I never thought that I would be a mom and now, you know, my whole ass mama now. Whole ass mama. Yeah.

47:04Man. Discipline and everything. Mm-hmm. How old are they now? They just turned 17. 17. Oh, so. Oh, you in it. I'm in it. You are really in it. Yes. Yeah. Who's the disciplinarian, you or Alex? I would say more on my part, you know. I mean, Alex is strong. She's strong with them too. But when they don't listen, she'll would you tell them? Okay. And then I get mad like, why do I have to tell y 'all? Just listen to her. Just listen to her. You don't want to do this, do you? I like that. You don't like me, you know, right? Okay, so just... That's me and I also. Let's not have this conversation. Yeah, I don't...

47:49Yeah. You make them feel like you're doing them a favor. Right. That's... Yeah. I'm going to hook you up on how to not get in trouble. Right, right. Or you're in trouble with me. Yeah, I love that. And you don't want to be in trouble with me. It's just a great psychological advantage. Yeah. It's like your life is over. Yes. You're in trouble with me. Yeah. Did you go through the spanking, no spanking thing? Oh, yeah. Could you talk about that in Legacy? Yeah. We said no spanking, but then Lucas needed it.

48:24Sometimes you need more than words. Well, they're all different. I always thought kids should know what a spanking is. Because you can't threaten something that they don't know. And I had two girls, and girls are pretty bright. You know? One little pop. And it's just like, oh, that wasn't pleasant. It wasn't pleasant for me. It was true. It hurt me as much as it hurt them. But it was like, now it was just a good threat. Then it became just a good threat. Right. Don't make me. Right. And it's like, and they were like, yeah, probably. That's not, that's not necessary. But I do believe that every now and then.

49:05Did you get a spanking ever? Oh, yeah. I didn't get many. Neither of us got. Neither of us. It's got many. But I don't remember you getting. Yeah, the belt, the jump rope. Jump rope. Mom had a plastic jump rope. You know, the plastic jump rope with the handles. She gave us that a couple times. But I remember getting it. Yeah, I remember you getting it too. I was usually cheering her on from the back, you know, running after him. But I remember the last spanking you got. The last spanking I ever got. And this was our household. My mother loved laugh and she had a great sense of humor. And we could make her laugh.

49:43And Craig had done something. You probably did something to me, right? And I was like, mom! You know? And she's like, boy, I told you. And she grabbed the belt. And this time he ran, you know? She chased me around the house. And she's running behind him, and I'm behind her. I'm like, get him, get him. And he's hopping over furniture. And our house is as big as this room. I mean, I'm sure she's thinking, boy, if you don't stop running, you know? And then he hopped over a chair and got on the couch and grabbed my stuffed Snoopy and put it in front of him. He's like, Mom, don't hit me. And she just looked at him and started cracking up, you know, because it was ridiculous.

50:22It's like, here I am chasing this little boy around. And I was probably big by then because I was older. Right, right. And she just took the jump rope and just like dropped it. And that was it. That was the last potential spanking. What? No justice? Is this what we're doing in this household? And that, yeah, that was the last spanking in our household. Yeah, you just have to, like you say, it's just the threat of it. Yeah. They know. Yeah. I remember I forgot my, I know my mom dropped me off my grandmother's. That's where I was catching the bus. And I left my books in the car. So. I was like, I can't go to school.

51:08I don't have any books. The teacher's going to be yelling at me and the kids are going to make fun of me. My grandma said, okay, you can stay home. And she said, well, you know, we got to tell your mom, you know, that you didn't go to school. So now I'm stressed over that, you know? Yeah. I'm stressed over that. So I came up with me and my grandmother to build. I said, well, you just beat me and tell it. Tell it. Tell it. It's been done. It's finished. It's finished. I can't live like this all day I was like just do it let me get the spanking and then I can enjoy my day off exactly and she laughed so hard she couldn't do it she couldn't do it and she told my mother don't you beat that girl she already beat herself up enough today

52:06I swear to God, Wanda, after, because my team watched Legacy, too. And this one, Crystal, on the gas pass, she's like, ma 'am, tell me that that doesn't happen. I mean, literally, we're on the plane. I'm like, explain to her. No, it does. It does. It's coming. Can you talk about what you're doing? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I hit my 60s and I don't know where all this gas comes from, but it's just a lot of gas, a lot of gas. And you really have to focus on not passing gas in public because if you relax, it's going to happen. It just happens. And I talked to one of my good friends and she's a CEO, big job.

52:55and she's like, girl, I was in a meeting and I stood up and it just, I just, and they all heard it. I was like, oh my God. I said, what did you do? She said, I just said, meetings adjourned.

53:10See, because when you're in your 60s, you run the meeting, right? By that time, you can pass gas in the meeting that you run in. Right, right. I told her, I said, that's how you have to end all your meetings now, you know, let them know. That's just how it's going to go. And how's Esther Rolle doing? Oh, Esther. You're looking pretty good. Well, I mean. Esther looks like she's living somewhere else. No, Esther's here. If I, yeah, I lift this top up. Esther is there. She is there. Actually, when I was editing, when I was editing Legacy, I was like, oh boy. And my producer partner, she was like, you see Esther, don't you?

53:51I was like, yeah. Look at Esther. Esther's just living her best life. Esther's just all out. She's like, you know, you could have worn like a body shaper. And I was like, nah, I can't. Yeah, how can you do what you're doing with all that? I'm rolling around on the stage. No, I had to crack the rib if I had worn a body shaper. So yeah, I just let Esther out. You let her live. I let her live. Let her live. Yeah. But I hit my 40s. Esther popped up. that fat roll, that fat roll, I was like, what is this? And I was doing crunches and all this. She was determined. Esther was determined. Esther was climbing out of Spanx.

54:38I was, I was on this night show, Jay Leno on this night show. And I had been, I just heard, I was like, what is going on? Esther was just working her way out to Spanx. Then just laid out. Hey, Jay. I was like, like no no Esther so I just I named her Esther Roll I love late night I love late night mmm cheesecake you know so I pull up to Costco Esther's like yippee oh boy this is like Disneyland for her she loves she loves Costco Esther loves Costco oh boy there's so many of them she loves Costco they're everywhere and now she's I say Esther's you know been a little depressed because whenever those like those Zipic commercials come on I hear her just I'm like Esther what's wrong she's like all my friends are gone I was like

55:46Esther yeah Yeah.

55:51Told her I wouldn't do that to her. Oh, my goodness. You wouldn't do that to her. I wouldn't do it. I said, I'm not going to do it to you. Don't worry about it. But you do look great, Wanda. Oh, I thank you. You really look great. So you got to be doing something besides taking Esther to Costco. I'm boxing now. I love the box. Yeah. I love the box. Yeah. That's a lot of my training. How often are you in the... In the gym? Yeah. I mean, if I'm not working, if I'm home, I try to go at least like five times, you know, five days a week. Oh, man. Yeah. I have a great trainer, Cameron, and he'll hold the mitts.

56:32Yeah. So I hit the mitts and we'll, you know, do some strength training. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I fell in love with it because I did a movie, a drama, and it's boxing. so I had to learn how to hold mitts and then I just stayed with it yeah when did you do when did you film this is Undercut Undercard Undercard I'm sorry Undercard we filmed this in Puerto Rico two years ago it was two years ago I think so I think it was two years ago was that your first dramatic role first dramatic role wow yeah and man it was hot in Puerto Rico that was a different kind of heat different kind of heat but it was yeah I love shooting it, love the cast, the director, Tamika.

57:20It was just a great experience. So I'm excited that that's finally going to be out where people are going to get to see it. Is it going to start streaming? It'll be available for rent or to buy May 18th. Oh, great. On Apple or Prime. It's a beautiful story. You want to just talk a bit about it? undercard. Yeah, undercard. I play a former boxer who's now a trainer struggling with addiction. She's raising her sister's child. Her sister passed away. And she also is trying to reunite with her older son, who's a boxer. And she had to give him up when he was very young because of her addictions. And yeah, so it's just this woman trying to win in the ring and now win in life and try to reunite with her family.

58:27It's a family story, but it's just set in the world of boxing. I would have never known that that was your exposure to boxing, that film. You didn't box before then. You look like You look like a former champ in there. Oh, why thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Had your guns out and everything. Shoot. But it's a really beautiful movie. And I watched it and I didn't fall asleep. Oh, why thank you. I stayed up. Oh, why thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is saying something. Yeah. No, but it's a really beautiful, beautiful film. Is there anything at this point that you haven't done that you wish you could do?

59:12Actually, I did tell my publicist that I wanted to do this. Really? I did. We were on your bucket list. I rarely ask her for things. Oh, my God. But I was like, I want to do, yeah. Because you felt bad about talking about me. That's the one thing I didn't ask for. That's wonderful. That makes us feel good. Well, you have definitely worked out this special. Thank you. It is everything. It is laugh out loud. And not too dirty. You're not cursing that much. No. So you can have the older kids watch it. But I just thank you for all that you do. But we do have our listener question. Yes. Because we do give advice here at IMO.

1:00:05We try to give back to the people who are listening. And now they got Wanda. They're going to be from Ronda. And this is Joanna. My husband and I are thinking about buying a home and we're trying to decide what matters most as we start a family. We have a three and a five-year-old. We love the idea of being in a neighborhood with a strong sense of community. It reminds me of my own childhood where neighbors looked out for each other and it felt safe for kids to grow up. At the same time, we know that school quality is really important and we're weighing whether it makes more sense to prioritize that from the start, even if it means living somewhere we feel less connected to.

1:00:43My husband feels like we should choose a neighborhood we love and figure out the logistics later, whether that's commuting or finding other options. But I personally worry that the day-to-day reality of that would become exhausting, especially if more of the responsibility falls on me. My question is, how do you decide between a place that feels like home right away and one that might offer better long-term opportunities for your kids? As a fellow Chicagoan, I know the commute you had to Whitney Young, my own mother, moved us to the suburbs so a decent high school would be closer to our home. Appreciate your advice.

1:01:18If it's job-related, then you sort of have to do what you got to do. Right. And that's not new. I mean, I think parents, families throughout, you know, the history, you know, you go where, you know, mom and dad can earn a living. And that's certainly true if you're a military kid. you know, and you remember how resilient kids can be. So sometimes you just don't have a choice. But I've been talking more about, because what we do lose in that job move is that a lot of families, they don't have support, right? So you move for a job. Now it's you and your partner and the kids, but you don't live in that extended family unit, which is how we grew up.

1:02:08You know, I mean, we grew up on the south side of Chicago where everybody lived within like a five mile radius. I mean, literally, you know, uncles, aunties, all of our grandparents, you could walk around the corner, you could get in a car, drive five minutes and be at another family's house, which meant that there was always some support, you know, especially when it came to childcare, right? So now you've got some aunt, a cousin, a grandparent, somebody who can step in and help out. So I think that's a long way of saying, if you have a choice, factor in community and support. I don't know if I care as much about the house or the school, if it's not a horrible school district, You know, I mean, if it's not dangerous, which is in some instances, you know, I went across town because the high school right by me was a little, you know, it was a little dangerous at the time I was going there.

1:03:10Right. So to me, it was worth going across town to a school that was a college prep school. But we still lived in our neighborhood. You know, we still lived around the corner from grandparents and uncles and aunts. And that meant something, you know. Yeah, I agree with that.

1:03:33But it didn't seem like they have like extended family. Yeah, it didn't even come up. But yeah, I agree that if you find a community where you feel comfortable and you can build those relationships. Like we were very lucky. Alex was living in this community when I met her. So, you know, there was the cop next door and then, you know, started meeting this group of friends. And there was there's a little she has this little French contingency there. there. So we were surrounded by people who became family for us. So as the kids get older, their kids were getting older and we would, you know, look out for each other.

1:04:23So that is important. And a good school district, you want that because, you know, especially you don't want to have to pay for school if you're not happy with the public school. But for me, I need to be close to an airport. Yeah. You know, it's just for your business. I have to consider also. How quickly can I get in and out? Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I will say

1:04:59don't underestimate the resilience of your kids. Ooh. Because my career, after I left corporate America and started coaching, coaches move all the time. And we moved a lot. And the first move was really hard on my two older kids. Because they were about, well, the oldest was about to go into high school. And he wanted to go to Whitney Young where she went. And we moved to Providence. And it was hard on him and hard on our daughter. But then once we moved the first time, it made it easier to move the next time and then the next time and it became easier. And what we stayed focused on was trying to move somewhere where we could build a community.

1:05:52But we were our community. We wanted to make sure we knew we would all be together in this and we had the ability to make a community wherever we went. So don't, I would say to Joanna, don't underestimate the resiliency. I know you're not talking about moving around a lot, but, you know, your kids will be okay as long as they're safe. They'll be okay. They'll be able to bounce back quicker than we can. And just make sure you check that predator website, too. Don't throw that out there. That's a good point. That's a good point, Wanda. Forget the school district. I'm just saying. Make sure there are no predators.

1:06:41Well, thank you. Hopefully that was Lisa. Joanna. Joanna. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's okay. Joanna, girl. Hope that helped you. That also happens when you get older, Crystal. Right. There's gas and then there's general forgetting of everything. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes. Wanda. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you. Thank you for putting us on your dance card. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Love you. I'm done now. We are huge fans. We are big fans. Yeah, yeah. We are big fans. Well, the legacy is going to be well received. People will love it. and by the time this comes out hopefully everybody's seeing it and commenting about it and all that and then watch Undercard it's really a beautiful film coming out on somewhere where things stream or anywhere where you stream thank you for being here thanks for having me thank you so much

1:07:48Thanks again to our friends at Progressive Insurance for sponsoring this episode. For more information, visit progressive.com slash open the house.