Follow your Instincts with Henry Winkler

31:26He's got that black leather. And I remember that change because I think it did something to me. It's like, whoo. Can I just say something? Wait a minute. I just want to say something. I'm a human being on this earth. I'm an American. I've watched you over all of these years, you know, be who you are. be this powerful presence in the universe. And you're telling me, I want to just say, I don't have to say another word. I can go home now. Wait till Stacey hears this. I don't care. I'm going to play it for her. Just that segment. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm composing now. Not only was he handsome, but he was the strong, silent type.

32:20You just said was. Well, we're talking about the fonds. Oh, yes, right, of course. Right. Henry Winkler continues to be, I told you when you walked out. Yes, you did. Very cute. Yes, you did. Very cute. Yes, you did. Yes, I did. And I meant it. But the strong, the character type, which was, he didn't say much until he said something. That's right. He was usually the moral order of happy days. Absolutely. This sort of, you know, So sock hoppy kind of wasn't the bully. He was who I dreamt of being. But everybody was terrified of him. But he had a heart of gold. Yeah, right. And you slowly got to see that part of him.

33:01Right. So Fonz became, was really the heart of Happy Days, you know, in a very interesting way. So that's just the explanation of how powerful your character and how well you embodied that. because it was sexy, cool, good-hearted. Good-hearted. Tough guy. And loyal. And loyal. I loved my friends. I loved the Cunninghams. They were the family I did not have in that mythical place.

33:39Craig Robinson here. And as the holiday season comes closer, It's time to plan our holiday travel. And you know, as our family gets older, it makes it harder for all of us to cram into one hotel room for an extended period of time. So we have six or seven adult-sized people traveling simultaneously now that the kids are getting older. So we need a little more space. We need a little more freedom. That's why booking a stay on Airbnb makes so much sense for our family. You know, imagine heading to South Carolina with friends for a cozy fall weekend or taking the family to Orlando over the Thanksgiving break.

34:24Instead of being stuck in a hotel lobby or eating takeout food on the bed, which can be kind of fun, you've got a living room to gather in, a kitchen to cook these great holiday meals and make memories. You even could cook out outside, which I love doing in the fall weather. It makes the trip feel warmer, more personal, and way more memorable. It's those little things, more space, more privacy, and staying in the coolest parts of town that make an Airbnb trip better than a hotel. Welcome back to IMO. We made it, folks. It's December. The holiday hustle's just starting to wind down, which means it's a perfect time to switch into new year, new moves mode.

35:13What's one big move you want to make in the new year? Whatever those big moves are, you need a plan. You need a strategy. You need a partner. You need Shopify. The end of the year is when you review your yearly numbers, clean up your strategies, and lay the foundation for what's next. They help you plan, launch, and grow so that the start of 2026 is way ahead of the game. With Shopify, you can keep track of everything from the palm of your hand. You can tag and sell your products globally and across all major social media platforms, making it possible to sell right where your customers are. Whether it's a side hustle or a storefront, selling locally or globally, Shopify takes the guesswork out of starting a business.

36:03They have the tools to help you navigate whatever chaos the new year brings. Whether you're selling merch, products, or the next best idea, make sure you do it via Shopify at shopify.com slash IMO. For$1, it's time to put that business idea into action and start the next chapter. Again, that's shopify.com slash IMO. We here at IMO are big believers that people never stop growing, that we're all in a state of continual becoming. So much so that Michelle even wrote a book about it. Because you are not one thing. You are all the things. Constantly growing and changing into the next version of you.

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37:39Now, I think I know the answer to this, but I want to ask you, did being the Fonz change Henry at all? No. He did while I was playing him. Okay. I had to, I couldn't believe that people were actually talking to me because I was still Henry with a very low self-esteem. So I liked what they were saying, but it went through me because it couldn't be me. So it couldn't help uplift that feeling that your parents had started. No, when I lived my life, I was still that Henry walking around until lately, about 10 years ago, I was so confused I met a therapist Who if I were to give a gift to I would have to give her a skyscraper Yeah Because I was a block of Swiss cheese Yeah Growing up And I wanted I knew I wanted to fill in the holes And I want to become a block of cheddar Yeah Yeah What did she do?

38:55How did she do it? The woman says nothing. The woman says nothing. She sits there and I say, hey, what about this? And she said, yes. What about that? What do you mean? Don't ask me. And then she forces you to look at you. And you know what? All of a sudden, it's not so difficult. It's okay. And I have become strong. I don't know that you brought up Barry. Yes. I don't know that I could have played Gene Cousinow without going through that process. Wow. What led you finally 10 years ago to do therapy? I was completely discombobulated. I just, I, instead of walking a straight line, I was psychologically drunk.

39:56I think I was emotionally drunk. And I don't even drink. Yeah. And I'm telling you, you don't know. She asked me a question in our very first session. She said, where are you? I had no idea what she meant. What do you mean, where am I? I'm sitting here in this chair that's wicker and not that comfortable. By the way. Hello, wicker. You can put like a cushion. I know. It's the therapy. Where was the couch? Where was the leather couch? It's supposed to be comfortable in a therapy session. And all of a sudden, I started to answer that question over the years. It takes time. You have to really devote time.

40:42But it is the greatest time I've spent outside of my children and my grandchildren. How did therapy, this discovery, the filling up the Swiss cheese holes, creating your block of cheddar, how did it manifest itself? I will tell you, I really do have that answer because I enjoy it so much. I'm able to say what I want to say. I'm able to say, I really need this. I really want this. I'm not okay with that. I am perfectly okay with that. As opposed to dance around in some sort of crazy chicken dance. You know? knowing what I want. Asking for what you want in life. Yes, taking my place on this earth.

41:48Not having those tools most of your life, but still building a very long and very successful career. I mean, there was the Fonz, but then how many seasons? 11. 11. No one has 11 seasons anymore. So you spent the bulk of your adult acting life in one of the most successful shows ever. Right. Playing one of the most successful characters ever. I am so grateful. And then you go on to produce, direct, continue to act. Produce because I couldn't get hired. Yeah. Produce because people said, oh my God, he is so funny. He's so lovely. But he was the Fonz. He's the Fonz. But there wasn't a struggle in those roles of creation to ask for what you wanted?

42:38How did that? Until about 15 minutes ago. I'm not kidding. What did that look like for you to run something? Would you second guess yourself? I would. This is what I will tell anybody over and over again. Your mind, as educated or not as you are, your mind only knows a little. Your tummy knows everything. When you listen to your instinct, you're always in the right place. Oh, I love that. Whether you're at a job interview or you're going to date somebody for the first time, you get a bad feeling, you go home. You give the flowers back and walk back in the apartment. You know what I mean? Thank you so much.

43:20Enjoy your dinner. Yeah. Yeah. So you operated on instincts. You had to learn how to trust your tummy, as you say. Yeah. Yeah. You know, my tummy. And I tell that to everybody who will listen. Well, we're taught the opposite. Think. That's right. You have to use your logic. There's an answer. There's an algorithm. Right. There's a, but you don't learn to read. But when you cannot come up with it, you let it just state. And then it comes up in your mind like the magic eight ball. An answer comes. And then your tummy knows if, is that answer right? it's an answer, but I'm not feeling it. The reason it took me so long to say it, right, because I was suppressing a burp.

44:14I just want you to know, right? That's a natural thing. Oh, okay, just in real life. Just now, in real life. Okay. I was just suppressing. I thought that was a metaphor for something. No, no, no, I did not finish the sentence because I was working so hard not to burp. You can't burp in front of the jackass. It's true. I was like, this is so deep. He's going deep. And it's like, oh, he's trying not to burp. Thank you. Thank you, Henry. Thank you for that. Thank you for that. I am fascinated with how you've worked to be a different parent. And you are now a different grandparent. Yes. And I think I would love for you to share that journey because there are a lot of people who grow up in tough circumstances.

45:02They were mis-parented. They didn't know. They were un-parented. So you know how that feels. Yeah, yeah. Right? One knows how that feels. Yes. So I said that I learned through my ears. So listening, because our children, if you give them a little bit and you say, you know what, I think you're going to help figure out what the punishment or the consequence is going to be for what you just did. Or you're going to figure out what your curfew is. Yeah, I can't live with that. Oh, I can live with that. Okay, and if you don't call, if you're going to be late, you lose 10 minutes. My daughter, Zoe, went out at 8.

45:46She was back at 8.20. She lost all of her Saturday night. That poor girl got dressed to go nowhere. But it was her own doing. Oh, my gosh. Hey, I told you. All you got to do. Very few rules. Yeah. Again, I think that we were lucky in that we had a mother that was highly adaptable. And it changed the way I parented. You realize that you have to, even punishments, how you solve problems between one child and the next. One child will listen, the other child doesn't care. That's exactly right. Oh my goodness. I tell this story all the time about Malia and Sasha when they were probably seven and three at the time.

46:43And Barack was traveling. So I was at home trying to get the girls to bed. They were great kids, but this was one night that they were just being rambunctious. And I was like, get ready. It's time to take your baths. And no one was listening. And I was in my frustrated mommy time. And I said, well, that's it. No one listens to me. I'm done parenting. You seem like you guys have this all figured out and you can do this on your own. So have at it. My oldest daughter, Malia, said, oh no, mommy, you know, I can't do without you. And this is what I'm thinking. Yeah, this is what I wanted. I wanted her to realize that she needed me.

47:24So she immediately started taking off her clothes and it's like, mommy, no, I don't know what I could do without you. Sasha, my three-year-old, was sitting on the stairs watching all this. She took her blankie and she turned around and went back upstairs to watch TV. As if to say, like, thank God. At last, this is what I wanted from you, lady. I am three. I can handle this. I'm going back upstairs. And she got five steps up. And I was like, if you don't turn around and get back down here. And I was like, well, it worked for one. Didn't work for the other. Now, let me ask you a question. Are those characteristics in those young ladies now?

48:03Yes. Yes. Exactly who they were. Yes. They have to, my younger daughter, she wants to learn her way. Right. You know, she doesn't want to be told that this is how you do it. We tell her, but she's got to learn on her own. We have seven grandchildren. They are from 16 to nine months, completely different human beings. One is a dancer. One is in the theater. One is a mathematician. One of them wants to be an athlete and is on his way. The little three-year-old is enchanting, knows that she walks through the world and moves air. One is Ethel Merman. I'm telling you, it's unbelievable. How has it been being a grandfather?

48:57It's different. Yeah. And it is, it's enchanting. It's enchanting to hear each one say, hi, Papa. And each one gives you a hug differently, but they all give you a hug. And they know that I need to have that hug. Oh, my God. One of them, you know, the 16-year-old, she's beautiful and she FaceTimes me. Say hello to Roy. Oh, hello, Roy. or she wants to put a mask on me. Don't do it. Don't do it. On your FaceTime, you become a rabbit or something. She loves that. She's like, don't you dare turn me into a rabbit. Like my daughter. My daughter used me like a gardening tool when there was a young man around.

49:50How so? Just walk by him. Just walk by him. You're on television. Let him see that. All right. Don't say a word. You were in the water, boy. Okay.

50:02I'm not kidding. Just move through. Just move through. Do not look. Do not look.

50:13You know, this time of year always gets a little wild. Traveling, family, work, the whole thing. My routine can get thrown way off. But one thing that's been easy to keep consistent is taking AG1. AG1 is the daily health drink that combines your multivitamin, pre - and probiotics, superfoods, and antioxidants into one simple green scoop. It's one of the easiest things you can do to support your body every day. I drink mine first thing in the morning before the day gets going, and it just helps me feel ready. I like that it fills those little nutrient gaps when life gets busy, and it actually tastes good too.

50:56The citrus flavor is my favorite. It's clean, refreshing, just easy. Heading into the holidays, I'm trying to keep the good habits going, and AG1 makes that simple. One scoop, done. AG1 has their best offer ever. If you head to drinkag1.com slash IMO, you'll get the welcome kit, a morning person hat, a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2, an AG1 flavor sampler, and you'll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free, which has been a game changer for my nightly routine. That's drinkag1.com slash IMO for$126 in free gifts for new subscribers. Welcome back to IMO. We made it, folks. It's December.

51:48The holiday hustle's just starting to wind down, which means it's a perfect time to switch into new year, new moves mode. What's one big move you want to make in the new year? Whatever those big moves are, you need a plan. You need a strategy. You need a partner. You need Shopify. The end of the year is when you review your yearly numbers, clean up your strategies, and lay the foundation for what's next. They help you plan, launch, and grow so that the start of 2026 is way ahead of the game. With Shopify, you can keep track of everything from the palm of your hand. You can tag and sell your products globally and across all major social media platforms, making it possible to sell right where your customers are.

52:40Whether it's a side hustle or a storefront, selling locally or globally, Shopify takes the guesswork out of starting a business. They have the tools to help you navigate whatever chaos the new year brings. Whether you're selling merch, products, or the next best idea, make sure you do it via Shopify at shopify.com slash IMO. For$1, it's time to put that business idea into action and start the next chapter. Again, that's shopify.com slash IMO.

53:20Well, you know, here on IMO, we like to take questions from our listeners. And hopefully give them a little bit of advice. And I think we have a perfect question from you that's coming from... For you. For you. I knew what you meant. For you. I knew what you meant. Brother, sister, I saw it. I saw it happen right in front of me. It was just like, do I let him? Do I let him let that go? I feel like I'm helping him. You know what I understand? And really, God bless you. Yes. Thank you very much. But we have a question from a listener in Colorado. Oh. Terry in Longmouth. They get to wear sweaters.

53:59Yes. I have five adult children. They are all married and have their own kids. My question to you is, how do you parent your kids as adults? When my adult children come to me with struggles they are having, I sometimes find myself at a loss as to how to help them or how much I should be trying to help them. I'm curious what you think our place should be in supporting them. Okay. All right. So number one, you really don't have a place in parenting your adult children. Two, it is so difficult to shut up. Yes, it is. You want to say to, what are you kidding? You're holding your kid that way? What are you feeding them?

54:44Okay, that's, what do you mean she only eats cereal? All right. When you're at a loss, you say, I am so sorry. I'm at a loss. Because you don't want to say something that will not be the authentic. That is my feeling. When they come to you, my daughter, also, talk in short sentences. A parent will talk in paragraphs. You will watch the eyes glaze over like ham.

55:29We're all laughing because we've done it. Oh, my God. Short sentences. Oh, yeah. And they will hear you. Yeah. And I also say as a parent with, you know, just at the beginning, your job is to repeat the same sentence for 18 years every day. It's true. It's so true. And then one day in their 40s, they're like, wow, you were listening. That is so true. I cannot even tell you. Well, it's like the toughest thing in the world is to, and Craig and I, we talk about this a lot, is part of raising people and adults is - The hardest job on the planet. The hardest job is that the goal is to, as quickly as possible, give them the tools to think and problem solve for themselves.

56:30To be who they're supposed to be. Right. And also to give them some confidence that they can do it. And it's a hard thing to do as a parent to try not to fix everything for them before it's— I'm guilty of that. Yeah, I am too. I mean, Malia was with us. We're staying with a friend, and whenever they have a chance to stay in a nice house, they do. They're just like, we're coming over. We're just to take a bath and to have nice towels. And so they wound up staying over last night because they stayed too long. And so they were sleeping in these beds. She got up and she's like, oh, sleeping in nice sheets.

57:13It's the best thing ever. I immediately say, you don't have nice sheets? You know, what do you need? My baby doesn't have nice sheets. And she was like, mom, my sheets are fine. You know, it's like my apartment doesn't have air conditioning. If they're too nice, they suffocate. My point being is that I was immediately. I'm with you. I felt her discomfort and I wanted to fix it. And you have to resist the urge. You have to resist. To fix their discomfort. You have to watch them. I say this all the time. You have to watch the person, the being you love the most walk straight into a wall that you see.

57:56It's like it's a wall. That's right. And you're moving really fast. You're going to, oh, you hit it. Oh, my God, I needed to let you do that. That's a hard thing to do as a parent. Well, the one thing you just said is I would put in the beginning of all those sentences. Yes. Give them the confidence to be—when a baby is here, when they come, and they come full blown, and what you said is the beginning and the end, give them the confidence to meet their destiny. Yeah. Yeah. And if you do that young, right? So to our listener. To Terry. If you do all that hard work early. Yes. And early, I mean, I'm talking one.

58:49Yes. Two years old. Then the question of how do I parent my adult children becomes moot because you won't have to. Right. Because you've already done it. You've given them the tools early on. And that is the beauty about being the parent of adult children. The only thing is I have to say that my daughter sometimes comes to me with an insecurity that is from the little girl in her. And then I talk to her not as the little girl, but I would say the same thing to the little girl who is that insecure. at 43. We talk it through and she goes, thanks, Dad. I have to go and pick up Jed now. Yeah. I have to go pick up Ace.

59:38Yeah. No, I think that this is all really good for Terry. The short sentences... Do we ever get to meet Terry? No, we're working on that. We're working on it. We've talked about following up with our listeners. And having the questioners actually ask the question. We've talked about that, but... You were talking about Terry. Yeah, so being authentic And Mish was saying, get the work done early. That's right. And I'm going to bring up something you said earlier, which is what your therapist does. Sometimes you don't say anything. When they come to you for advice, you ask them what they think. You know what?

1:00:23There is, believe it or not, a book I found when my children were young. It was called effectiveness parenting training. It was something like that. Take my word for it. And what it was is you only make noise. My son would say, I am not going to school. And I just said, uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow, you sound angry. Yeah. And he would screw himself into the bulbs, into the ceiling, and then unscrew himself, get in the car, put on a seatbelt, and say, hurry up, we're going to be late. Don't say anything. You are so right. I'm not kidding. That was a Frazier and Marian Robinson tactic. And for someone who is a talker like me, that was a lesson that I'm still learning.

1:01:19is to do more, wow, oh, ooh, yeah. But you know what? Just by making those sounds, you tell the child you're hearing them. You're listening without knocking them off their path at the moment. Or telling them how they should feel. Yes, right. Our mom was good at that. And she lived with us in the White House. She came and that helped us get through having a version of you. Funny, sane, grounded in that house through that experience kept us all together. For me personally, almost every other day she stayed in a suite of rooms on the third floor. And she would come down to be there for the girls to come home.

1:02:14She never wanted to just have dinner unless we were having company because she wanted us to have family time, just the four of us. So she'd eat dinner upstairs. But every afternoon after I got home or from a busy day at work, I'd walk up before the kids got home and just sat. And I did the same thing that I always did. I just talked. You know, this happened today. I read this article happened. And I'd watch the news. And I just, she would just let me talk. And as the first lady of the United States, just going upstairs to my mommy's room. Right. And just letting it all out. Right. With her going, wow.

1:02:58Because the first lady of the United States is a human first. Yeah. Yeah. She did that for us our entire life. That's amazing. I never had that experience. Yeah. Yes, you did now. But you turned out wonderfully. Thank you. Well, you know, like at least 87%. Yeah. But this conversation, you know, we shared a lot of don'ts. Yes. This was amazing, this conversation. Yeah, yeah. We appreciate it. I had no idea what it was going to be. Yeah. I was a little nervous. Yeah. Were you? Yeah, and I feel like I'm coming for a Lamp Chops. Yes, that's what we want you to do. I do, and I like mint jelly. Of course, you are of that generation.

1:03:43Yes, I am. Where the mint jelly and the lamb chops, that's a thing. It is. And if you have Spencer Rose, I like currant jelly. Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. We're going to keep that in mind. Thank you. You're going to keep that. Thank you. This has been a delightful conversation. I mean, you are wise. Oh, wow. I didn't. You are. Well, hey, it's been 80 years of built up wisdom that you. Speaking of 80. Oh, yes. We actually knew it was your 80th birthday. So we had a little bit of a something planned for you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Henry. Happy birthday to you and many more.

1:04:40And then we have to sing the black happy birthday. Happy birthday to ya. Happy birthday to ya. This is Stevie Wonder. Happy birthday.

1:04:57Happy birthday. Happy birthday. There it goes. It never ends. Go, Henry. Happy birthday. Okay, we can stop there. Woo!