Learn to Lead with Dawn Staley

32:29Like the community and I are one. And I do think I say some things that maybe some of them don't like, but I do think the people in South Carolina, they judge me off of my life, not my resume. it's what I've been to the community because it's easy to fall in love with the success and you get blinded by the success but it's more of what I've given to the community and what the community has given back to me and to be in that community, to have a statue to have a street named after me it means a great deal because I meet some black people that said they couldn't They couldn't walk on the campus.

33:16Yeah. And they wouldn't. Yeah. Until I got there and they come to the games. And it's a myriad of people who, I mean, it looks like it. I mean, if you're looking at the people that come to our games, it's a variety of people of all ethnic backgrounds. Just in unison, on one accord, that believe in one thing. It's the best of this country. Exactly. And I feel good about that. I know my purpose. I understand my purpose, right? And it happened with my passion first, and then my purpose came after the passion. And then now the two are intertwining to create something that it's a model for other states like South Carolina to just kind of get behind and understand.

34:16It's bigger than the basketball. It's actually bigger than the racism. It's bigger than the history. It's become something that I truly love about South Carolina. That's great. We can be as one. And it's a reminder of what is possible. I mean, who we are really as people. if we break through a lot of that history. You are living through the fact that communities do want to be unified. It feels better not to have a segregated campus, to be in the gym together, all rooting for the same thing. And what you and your team and your games remind, not just folks in South Carolina, but the country of this, it's what's possible.

35:06and so I applaud your tenacity and also your courage, right? Because it takes some courage to, you know, I mean, you weren't always the statue named street. You know, you came there as an unknown and you had to build that from the ground up. And I got to say that you could have gotten jobs anywhere. Yeah. You could have gotten jobs anywhere. You took the South Carolina job. I did. I took a South Carolina job really not well I did know meaning I used to visit family trips not in Columbia more so in the country like in the deep country we did trip we know the deep country down there when you described it in your book that was summer going down there getting eaten by mosquitoes and all kinds of bugs meeting the cousins yeah

36:10By now, viewers of this show know that I used to be a hotel guy. And I mean, I collected the points, the whole gamut. But now I'm an Airbnb guy. One of the biggest reasons I'm an Airbnb guy is because I have four kids now. Two of them have partners. So we're talking at least three rooms if we go to a hotel. I can get a four-room Airbnb and everybody can fit in the same place. We've got a family room we can get together in. We have a kitchen. You know, one of the best parts about it is we do a lot of laundry. And it's great because you have a laundry room in these places. And what we've taken to now is ordering a place that has a pool.

36:55So if we are stuck at home, we have something to do. So when the Robinsons are hitting the road, especially with all of us, we're staying at an Airbnb. We've done it in Chicago. We've done it in Martha's Vineyard. We have done it in Washington, D.C. We are done with hotels. We are Airbnb folks. This episode of IMO is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Financial security isn't just about the here and now. It's about the future. That's why we love what Progressive is doing to help people attain, maintain, and build wealth through homeownership. For over 80 years, Progressive has led with the belief that insurance should do more than just protect.

37:43It should propel people forward. Their commitment to not only helping more first-generation homeowners stay protected, but also support communities through Progressive's down payment assistance program, the Up Payment Program, which will help drive real impact, making the dream of home ownership more attainable for everyone. You know, my wife Kelly and I are currently in the process of redoing our bathroom. We just started out and haven't done the demolition yet, but we know that this will add to the value of our house. So thank you, Progressive, for helping families plan ahead and for sponsoring our show.

38:24Visit progressive.com slash open the house to learn more. This episode of IMO is brought to you by Cologuard, a non-invasive colon cancer screening test. As it stands, colon cancer is on the rise in people under 50, which is why the American Cancer Society recommends that if you're at average risk, you begin screening at 45. Even if you live a healthy lifestyle and don't have symptoms, no one is at low risk for colon cancer. We want to make sure our listeners know that colon cancer can be treatable in 9 out of 10 people. But the key here is that it has to be caught early. With the Cologuard test, you can take control of your colon cancer screening through a prescription-based test with none of the prep that's required of a colonoscopy.

39:19Not only is the Cologuard test effective for colon cancer screening, but it can even detect pre-cancer. And in addition to its convenience, the Cologuard test is also affordable. Most insured patients find they pay nothing out of pocket. With zero downtime, no special preparation, and a screening test that's delivered right to your door, don't let your health take a backseat. So if you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your healthcare provider about screening for colon cancer with the Coligard test. You can also request a ColoGuard prescription today at coloGuard.com slash podcast. The ColoGuard test is intended to screen adults 45 and older at average risk for colorectal cancer.

40:11Do not use a ColoGuard test if you have adenomas, have inflammatory bowel disease and certain hereditary syndromes, or a personal or family history of colorectal cancer. The Cologuard test is not a replacement for colonoscopy in high-risk patients. Cologuard test performance in adults ages 45 to 49 is estimated based on a large clinical study of patients 50 and older. False positives and false negatives can occur. Cologuard is available by prescription only.

40:54which is a good way to enter into the question from our listeners. We have been so, you talk about being blessed. Our listeners give us some really good questions. And this question is from Crystal from Dallas. Hi, Michelle and Craig. My name is Crystal and I love your show. My question is about and for Black people, especially Black women, who are navigating leadership roles in business, community, or family, what advice would you give for staying grounded and leading with purpose, especially when facing self-doubt or dealing with external pressures? I'm currently in the process of launching my own coaching and consulting business after being laid off for the first time from my corporate job.

41:42And I want to ensure I'm showing up authentically and confidently as an expert for my clients. So any insights you have would mean so much. Thank you. Okay. So the first thing I want to pull from that question is, you know, she lost her job. That's a big, I mean, you know, I've been fired and it's a big hit to your ego. And what are some things, Dawn, that you could give her to sort of pull herself out of that and sort of head back in the right direction? I would say sometimes, whether you get fired or laid off or you leave, right? I believe sometimes there's a blessing beyond that. And it helps you figure out what your worth is, like what you're worth.

42:34It makes you sit with yourself. And when you sit with yourself, everybody has doubts. Every single person has doubts, right? Especially if you lose your job. And once you get past that, because when you're dealing with any kind of problem, there's an emotional part to it and there's a factual part to it, right? So once we deal with the emotions, the facts still sit right there with you, right? And the fact is, you build some great habits. Like you build some great life habits. You build some habits as a leader. You build some habits of being disciplined. You build some networking and friendship habits with people who you can call on to help you.

43:19You got some mentors. You got some sponsors in your life. It allows you to revert back to those habits. And a lot of times once we get past the emotional part of it, and we lock into the facts. And those are the facts. You're worth more than that. Understand, unveil your worth. And sometimes you got to utilize people to see that. And sometimes you got to utilize your habits that got you to that place. Yeah. And I hear, Crystal, I hear the remnants of imposter syndrome in the question too, which I think we as women, particularly women of color, deal with because a lot of times you grow up with more what you can't do than what you can do.

44:10And I think, Dawn, you and I were blessed with having parents who saw what we could do. And at least that voice was a founding part of our our growth. So with Crystal, I would remind her, it's sort of like understanding the facts, is that the facts are that she has to go into this endeavor understanding that she is capable and deserving of the blessings that are coming. And that there are people with less talent, with less skill, less ability, who expect and achieve more just because their bar is higher for themselves. So it's the mental part of starting something new. There's a mental part to leadership.

45:03You got to stand in your strength and own it. And you can't start a new thing if you're questioning whether you deserve it. And so breaking that habit, especially at a point where maybe she's feeling a little down, maybe she's feeling unsure of herself, it's like there is a mental component to success and leadership is that you got to believe your hype. And it ties into understanding the facts of your skills and owning that. Yeah. Now you both are wonderful leaders and you've developed into leaders. Are there any leadership skills that you can share with Crystal that you've developed along the way that could possibly help her as she moves into this new endeavor?

45:56her. Dawn, I heard you throw out a bunch of them just in this conversation and, you know, just the first few chapters of Uncommon Favor you've thrown, you know, so. Yeah, I mean, I think one is Crystal has to find out who she is. And she knows, she knows, She has to direct it back to who she is because, you know, obviously she had a job, right? With the skill set. And I don't know how long she had that job, but I'm sure the fact that she got the job, her skill set spoke to that, right? And things change for one reason or another. Again, the blessing part of it, just stay to who she is. Like, let that guide her.

46:56Like, Crystal, let it guide you. Let it guide you. You can't go wrong when it's you. You can't go wrong when you think you're doing it because somebody wants it done that way. So your way is your way. If that's the wrong way, fall on the sword knowing it was the way that you wanted it to go. A lot of times, though, your way won't let you down. So be authentic. Be authentic. Oh, please be authentic. And that brings me back to something else you talk about. See, my sister's always telling me that the men can't look inward as well as women can. So I'm working on myself every day. Look inside, my brother.

47:45And I'm thinking about, you know, the times that I can admit where I've had self-doubt. And it happens even in coaching because you're responsible for the 15 players you have, but you can't control them. And when it doesn't work out, the first thing we do as coaches is what have we done wrong? And I just want Crystal to understand that having a good team around you combats the self-doubt. because if you have the right team around you, your assistant coaches, your parents, the captain of your team sometimes comes back and says, hey, coach, I don't think we should run point screen away. I think we should run chin.

48:32And, you know, I don't think you're on the right track. Whatever that means. I knew Don. I'm right there with you, Greg. I knew Don with that. I'm right there. I did that on purpose. But I'll say this. In my 20, I just finished my 25th year of coaching. Yeah. The best decisions that I've made was to hire somebody, somebodies that are much smarter than I am. Like seriously, much smarter than I am. More experienced than I am as a coach. Because it is, I don't know everything, but I want somebody in the room to know about it. To know. We have to cover ourselves. So, yeah, and I was, when I was the Olympic coach, head coach, we lost our first two games, exhibition games.

49:25One to Australia and the other one was the WNBA All-Stars. I'm the black coach, first time black coach, right? So I experienced something I've never experienced in my life. Like I was paralyzed. Like what? I can't do this. And you feel the pressure because you got to perform. You can't be the one that dethrones, you know, the success that USA has had. Right. So I lost sleep. I'm like, but also in the same breath, I just kind of exhaled and said, I have to do it my way. Like, I can't try to play all the players, even though this is the first time that the entire team was together. I tried to figure out who we had, what the substitution patterns are.

50:14And it's a lonely place because the assistant coaches are trying to help and suggest and all of that. But the onus is on me. When it's all said and done, it's going to be me that failed or got the job done. So I just exhaled and I'm saying, I'm going to do it my way. Like, if Asia Wilson is the player that I'm most comfortable with, well, I'm going to put her in the starting lineup and we're just going to pivot and go from there. And that was just kind of my safe house. And everything around that, I just said, okay, this is the decision I'm going to make. But in making that decision, I actually talked to the players that I was taking out of the starting lineup to put Asia in the starting lineup.

50:57She probably didn't like the conversation, but I was truthful and honest because ultimately I just wanted her to be okay or be in a position where she can help us win a gold medal. And then the second thing I did was some of the players, younger players, it was their first time being an Olympian. I actually went to them individually and I said, hey, you may not play a whole lot at this Olympic Games. I said, but I hope you use this opportunity to learn. And if you ever want to have this experience again of being a two-time Olympian or three-time Olympian, then you have to learn this part of it.

51:38Don't let this be an opportunity that you're mad and you're in your emotions. You got to learn. So I set them up to know that they may play or may not play, But I wanted them to be okay with it because I didn't want them to be the ones that would pull in somebody else that wasn't playing and say, you know, because in teams. To start that little. That, yeah. Yes. So just be clear, be unafraid, Crystal, to surround yourself with people, you know, are smarter than you that know a little bit more in different areas. And you just be the conductor and you're just, you know, directing them as to what you need.

52:19Well, and Dawn, as you talked about communicating to the team members that weren't playing and realizing that that was as important as communicating to the starters, that makes me think of another piece of advice, which is, you know, as a business leader, as a leader, how you treat people, you know, how you treat your team, your client base, how you show up, you know, with truth, compassion, empathy. honesty, all of that absolutely matters. You are the leader, so you are modeling the mentality of the team, the project, the endeavor. You set that tone. So Crystal, that means that you have to understand that as the leader, you can't show up half-baked.

53:15When you're the team member, you can be a little raggedy sometimes. You can have a down day. You can come in slow, right? But when you're the leader, every day you kind of got to be on your toes. And that's what makes leaders great. That's what sets them apart. But it is a burden, and especially in business. She is setting the tone for the direction and the way her company is going to move. So Crystal, this has been great. Really, this has been great. So some takeaways from Crystal for Crystal. Because my brother is the good, he's the good summation expert of it all, because we just talk and it's like, oh yeah, what did we say to Crystal?

54:02I'm still coaching. I'm still coaching even though i'm sitting here but so the first thing that that coach staley talked about uh crystal was habits and i don't remember the number of the chapter but respect the habits was my favorite chapter um that's a chapter in uh uncommon favor and that's don staley's book so develop habits and stick to them. My sister chimed in with, know that you're capable. You both talked about this. Know that you're capable and deserving. So that builds up your confidence. Be authentic. That's another one. One of my favorites, surround yourself with great people and even some who might be better than you are because we all need to be coached.

55:03We all need to be coached. Forever and ever. And Dawn came back with, you've got to communicate as a leader. And this goes in to what Mish summed it up with was, you can't be raggedy. You can't be raggedy. You're the leader. Absolutely. You're the leader. You can't be raggedy. and I mean and this is for Crystal but this is for everybody out there listening these are leadership qualities and traits that everybody can take something away from and that can be powerful can be powerful Crystal's set straight she's set straight

55:52This back-to-school season, spend less on your kids with Amazon. I remember when my wife Kelly and I would be running around to a million different stores chasing down spiral notebooks, lunchboxes, and that one specific calculator that somehow every math teacher requires. And look, I love my kids, but I do not love fighting over the last pack of highlighters in a crowded store at 7 p.m. on a Tuesday. That's why I love Amazon. Amazon has everything for back to school. Backpacks, pencils, clothes, snacks, and even those dry erase markers the teachers secretly hoard. All delivered fast, right to my doorstep.

56:39One click, no stress, boom. And the best part, I can shop from my couch. With my now 15-year-old and 13-year-old, I grab their school supply list and I'm all set. Now, instead of running around town stressed out, I get to actually spend the last days of summer with my kids. We're doing movie nights, bike rides, and even, dare I say, back-to-school fashion shows in the living room. Parents, do yourself a favor. Go to Amazon. Get your back-to-school checklist done in like five minutes while saving a few bucks. So remember, with Amazon's low back-to-school prices, just spend less on your kids. because every dollar you don't spend on them is a dollar you haven't spent on them.

57:36I will never forget the images and the stories that came out during and after Hurricane Katrina. The devastation felt so raw and real, and you could feel that we were living in a historical moment that might change how we view the world forever. And the aftermath of the hurricane ran much deeper than what most of us have heard in the news. It upended a public school system that was already collapsing, leading to the most radical education experiment in American history. In a new five-part podcast series, Where the Schools Went, details what happened to New Orleans school post-Katrina and how the lives of thousands of students were impacted.

58:23hosted by former school principal Ravi Gupta, Where the Schools Went blends immersive storytelling with deep reporting. It features the voices of educators, students, critics, and champions of the education reforms while unpacking the decades of dysfunction before the storm. This podcast is like a documentary for your ears and really underscores how high stakes the rebuilding of the New Orleans education system has been for the past two decades. Where the Schools Went is a story you need to hear. Whether you're a parent, an educator, or someone who cares about how communities and public systems can work together.

59:10From the branch, made in partnership with the 74 and Midas Touch, Where the Schools Went is out now. I highly recommend checking it out. Find it wherever you get your podcasts and start listening today. This episode of IMO is brought to you in part by understood.org. If you're a parent of a child with ADHD, dyslexia, or any learning difference, and especially if you're navigating special education as a parent of color, you know it can feel like a maze. There's a podcast from understood.org called Opportunity Gap that's here to help. It's hosted by Julian Saavedra. And in every episode, he talks with special ed teachers, child psychologists, and other experts.

59:59They break down things like how to navigate the IEP process, what accommodations your child is entitled to, and how to build a strong relationship with your child's teachers. You know, I checked out the opportunity gap myself, and what stood out to me was how practical and empowering it is. It's a resource that really meets families where they are. It also provides tools to help families build confidence in navigating the challenges of children who learn differently. To listen, just search Opportunity Gap in your podcast app. That's Opportunity Gap. You may remember me talking about this sponsor last month.

1:00:43And honestly, I had to bring them back because their Labor Day sale is still happening. And it's just too good to miss. That sponsor is Helix Mattress. Let me tell you, sleep used to be a struggle for me. I'd toss and turn, wake up groggy, and rely way too much on coffee to get me through the day. And I know I'm not alone. So many of us are trying supplements, gadgets, or meditation apps to fix our sleep. But the real game changer, the foundation of it all is the mattress you're actually sleeping on. When I switched to Helix, it was like night and day, literally. I took their two-minute quiz, and it matched me with the perfect mattress for the way I sleep.

1:01:30I ended up with the twilight, and I cannot overstate how much better I feel. Now I wake up rested. My mornings aren't such a battle, and I have the energy to dive into my day, keep up with work, and of course, keep showing up here on the mic with you folks. Sleep impacts everything, your mood, your focus, your health. And for me, investing in a Helix mattress has been one of the best things I've done for myself in a long time. If you don't trust me, you should trust the experts like Good Housekeeping and Forbes who have done the research for you. Like I said earlier, they are extending their Labor Day sale and our listeners can get 25 % off sitewide by going to helixsleep.com slash IMO.

1:02:19That's helixsleep.com slash IMO for 25 % off sitewide. And make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. helixsleep.com slash IMO.

1:02:40Now, before we go, Dawn, tell me the story behind your necklaces and bracelets. Oh, okay. Cool stories. Three years ago, when we won the national championship in 2022. Uh-huh. I love the fact that you won so many that you just got to think, which one was it? 22, okay. I met this young girl with pediatric cancer. Okay. And I was with a company that I have a partnership with. And they took me to just meet this young lady to give her this duck that does some incredible things. And then they took him through a scavenger hunt. And at the end of the scavenger hunt, they gave her her duck. And then they could make necklaces for their ducks.

1:03:32so I sat with her and I used her color coordination of when she was making a necklace for her dog and I wore it ever since because of strength we were sitting together she has cancer you would never know the strength that she sat with that cancer her parents were just a little bit away from her So I've worn this for three years. Later on, I did this in May. We were trying to win a national championship that year. The next year, and she actually sent another one. Because this was getting real beat down. She's sorry. She needs another one. Coach needs another one. Let me help her out. And then young people give me braces with grit, with uncommon favor, and I wear it until it pops.

1:04:36Yeah. My husband has the same thing. Barack, he has over the course of his first campaign, people will come and give them their lucky charms. And it can be a rabbit's foot, a little Buddha or whatever it was. But so many people were praying for him and would give something precious to him. and he kept all those things. He has a drawer full of them. And even to this day now, he takes a few of them every day and puts them in his pocket. Just a mix, just in the same way. It's perspective and it's a blessing. I want to ask one thing. What do you do for fun? Fun? Do you like reality TV? Oh, God. I want to say that because my brother.

1:05:25But, you know, what you watching? She watches sports. That's reality TV. Well, I do watch sports, but I'm a little morbid. I like, I like crime. Oh, yeah. I do. I like crime. Like, if I could go in person to trials, like, I went to a double murder trial in Columbia, South Carolina. Just for fun. Yes. Like, it's different. Like TV does it no justice, y 'all. It's like you want the real thing. I want the real thing. That is morbid. And the courtroom was set up as such that it was the guy that was on trial. Like his section, not even his section, because the courtroom was set up that way. And then the people who were actually experts were sitting on this side.

1:06:19So I went in and sat on just what I perceive as the defense side, right? And then the guy looked back at me, and I didn't know what to do. So I was just like, like I just said, what's up? And I'm like, because I knew the judge. The judge told me. Yeah, I'm wondering, like, how do you pick your trials? It was actually the judge that did the Murdoch case. Wow. Judge Newman. Oh, wow. He's a real good friend of mine. Okay. Like, so he told me he got a double murder case and come on down. And I did it for four days. And you were like, whoo! Yeah, I did. And you're not like sunglasses or anything. You just sat in there.

1:06:56No, I just showed up. I just showed up. Like a regular person. I did. And then I stayed. Like, I stayed until Thursday. It went four days. The jury, they were deliberating. And then I, I mean, I sat for a couple hours like. Okay, Don, you were in. And then I was like, oh, I got to leave because it's not, they're not going to. And then it was like, you know, verdict's in. So you lasted for the verdict. I did. Wow. I did. Wow. It didn't work out. Was that the first of many criminal trials that, you know, I don't know how you had time for it. Court TV, yes. It's like, that's why you don't have any days off on your time off.

1:07:33You sitting in a week-long courtroom. But that, I mean, I walk. Like, I'll try to walk every day. Yeah. It is a clear-to-air. Well, after a murder trial, you need to clear your mind. Are you a Dateline person? Oh, yes. I'm an unsolved. Yeah. You saw the Murdoch case, all of that. Yes, I did too. I mean, it had me captivated. Yeah. All right. Well, you know, I mean, respect. Like that. Thank you. We didn't expect that one. Thanks for sharing. That's my next book. Right. Okay. Basketball murder mystery. There you go. There you go. Best seller. Well, we know you, we've got a production company, so we can get the right to turn it into a movie.

1:08:23Okay. Okay. All right. It's a deal. You heard it here first. Dawn, thank you so much. Thanks so much, Dawn. It has been a pleasure. Congratulations on all your success and, you know, listeners pick up Uncommon Favor. It is an important read. It's a beautiful story about an amazing life and all the lessons you've learned from it. Worth a read for sure. And good luck on your book tour next season. Thank you. Thank you. Kill it. And thank you for leading up front. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Craig. You're welcome. Appreciate it.

1:09:16I'm Hoda Kotb from Making Space. Okay, you and I are both on the other side of the jump, whether it is life after the White House, or in my case, life after the Today Show. So what has this new chapter taught you about starting something new at any stage, about being a beginner again? I would encourage all your listeners to embrace those transitions, to practice them. It's a muscle and not to run away from change, but to embrace it as much as possible and turn that into something really special. There's a lot of learning that happens on the other side of our fear of change. And I'm living proof of that.

1:09:59You know, nothing keeps me sharper these days as somebody who's getting up there in years than doing something completely new and foreign. And with Misha and I doing IMO, it gives me particularly an opportunity to do something that is completely outside of my wheelhouse of experience that I've had before now. Please give Making Space a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts. And make sure you tell your friends. Follow us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening right now.