Perform your Truth with Jenifer Lewis

28:50And you ain't going to rape me either. Well, to the extent that your mania helped you with that courage. I was unafraid. That bravery. I was unafraid. of him. I wasn't afraid of him. I wasn't afraid of New York City. I belonged there. The mania belonged in the city. I would walk down those streets, girl, so fast. I'd have a coat flinging behind me. A diva. It was a mask. And you were in the perfect place to wear that mask. New York, you probably didn't even stand out. People were crazy, girl. It was the 80s. It was the 80s. And here you are flying around. And singing to the Empire State Building.

29:39You know when I had a show, there was a place called Tickets. You go get your Broadway tickets for a discount. You remember. I used to go over there. All those tourists would be in line waiting for their tickets. And I'd go down the line. I lived right up the street on 55th Street. I'd go down there and do my hot kicks up and down. I've seen those hot kicks. Wait a minute, girl. Michelle, I'd go, come see my show. You don't want to see that shit. You come see me. Do you know I was sold out? They were like, yes. We going to see her. We'd like tickets to that. But I was out of control. Yeah. But what could not be denied...

30:24What's the talent? Talent. Yeah. Oh, girl. Well, because guess what? People wouldn't put up with it if you weren't. It's a lot. It was a lot. As it is right now. I don't know. My shrink is going to see this interview. She said, my poor brother, he's just like, oh my God. I'm sorry, pumpkin. I'm sorry, pumpkin. This is not what I see on TV. My baby, I'm telling you right now, I've got so many stories. And I want these young kids to go and take care of themselves. You go take care of yourself. Where's my close-up right here? You go take care of yourself. That's right. If something's wrong and you're depressed, come out of those dark rooms.

31:05You can do it. Can we talk about the beginning of your career? Because you mentioned Cheryl Lee Rolfe and Loretta Devine and Dreamgirls. Was that your first big? Well, I was hired Quickly, right? Quickly, when you first got to New York Oh, honey, I got my first Broadway show Within 11 days of graduating from college And you know what? We are not surprised Because this person walks into New York And is like, it is mine It's all mine Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine I think there's something to be said about And without You had to have some I had so much confidence I had no fear in me I went from Broadway show To Broadway show Yeah And then when I got to Hollywood I'd had to break down Because of the AIDS epidemic And I didn't know who I was Is that why you came to LA?

32:10For what reason? Because you didn't know who you were No, I came to LA to be a star Excuse me I came up out of LA I didn't know I didn't know who I was. Until that camera came close. See, I had been trained in the theater to hit the back row. And you can kind of fake your way through that. That was the diva. That was the mask. But when that camera comes into your face, you got to tell the truth. And I didn't quite know what the truth was. and I'd get in those auditions and go, listen, girl, they go, cut. Honey, you go. It had to be, now listen, girl. Yeah. And I didn't know. That comes from here.

33:01So you struggled. Yes, I did, Michelle. Probably for the first time in the business. Yes, I did. Yes, it was the first time because I had to find out who I was and how I could continue that passion. See, if I wasn't working. But here's what I did, and I say this in a very famous interview. I created my own jobs, darling. That's why this is a masterpiece, because I wrote my own one-woman shows. If the phone didn't ring, I created something. I was always on stage. Girl, Nina Simone, Lena Horne, the greats came to see me. I'm telling you, Ruby, gee, they were all there because my shows became underground.

33:43Everybody, it was a... I can't think of the word. it was almost you knew it was something like a speakeasy. Yes. You got to go see Jennifer Lewis. And this was all in Hollywood. In L.A., yes. In L.A., yeah. L.A., before the TV shows. Like the people from Living in Living Color, they came to see the shows and they moved, they put some of my characters on in Living Color. So what was happening is the industry would come to these clubs to see me. This new girl. Yeah, they would scout. Yeah, it was the new girl in town. She's the new girl in town. And there was the sex addiction. Yes. Oh, the sex addiction.

34:27Y 'all had to have sex. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, God, Jesus. Right after the show, honey. Right. Something had to tap that electrifying standing ovation. See, I didn't get standing ovations. My standing ovations were electrifying. people would jump up and I'd be almost instantly so knowing that the depression that I had to drop from behind. See, polar. Yes.

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40:55And it took you some time too, because once you started taking the medication, you had to find your balance. Yes, when you get on the meds now, if you get on meds, I ain't pushing meds. Yes. You find your story. It's what I did When I finally agreed To do medication Because I thought it was going to take my edge I needed my edge It was Jennifer Lund's Mania When I took the meds The first time I got side effects Dry mouth And my sexual Desire went away I wasn't having that We can't do this That's the end of the meds Yeah, we have to fix that. Yeah, we have to fix that. So did you find that the work helped you in your, did you see the success?

41:48Did you see? Oh, girl, I started working. Yeah. I got Fresh Prince. I got this one. I got that one. As soon as I could just breathe. But it took a long time. It took a long time for me to get it. I remember the day I got it. Talk about that. Well, Loretta Devine was doing a show down in La Jolla, I think. And I went down there. You know, that's my girlfriend. We've known each other since I was 19. And I was with a girlfriend who was a shrink. And that night at her party, I got drinking. That was the days of drinking. and got up on the table, up on the table at her party. Doesn't surprise me, Jennifer.

42:41I mean, I'm just like, that's a Tuesday. You said that like, can you believe it? I want to say something to you before I finish this. Do you know how funny you are? Girl, you are right there with me. Poor Craig is like, I ain't saying.

42:59But you're right there with me. I'm glad. Good for you. I'm scared of you too. Michelle is going, why do you think you're late? Why do you think you slept with it? But where am I? What story? On the table. Loretta. She goes on the table. You're on the table. I'm paying attention. She's telling jokes. I'm paying attention. You're on top of the table, you lunatic. Jesus. So, and I Pell a song And I'm like And I call everybody You know, cuss everybody out But in a play way But drunk Yeah, sure And naughty It was Loretta's night Oh, yeah But my girlfriend Who was a shrink Hmm The next morning At breakfast She said Oof I'll never forget it She said Jennifer what's wrong with you?

44:04She said, what's wrong with you? I said, what? Ooh. She said, that was Loretta's party.

44:18I said, Loretta wanted me to sing. She said, Jennifer, it was inappropriate what you did. She said, I don't think she appreciated it. See, it was that kind of thing Yeah I just didn't know And then the medication had to calm me down Yeah Now I just get on top of a tree Yeah Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Now Thank you ladies and gentlemen So Now you You talked about That you started getting Fresh prints And then living color Yeah And rock And Oh I just started Going And And were you able to enjoy that? Yes. Okay. But I was also having sex in the dressing room. Can you talk about some of the fun times?

45:03The diction was still there. Yeah, yeah. Until I woke up one day and I actually called my therapist. She was on a train. I'll never forget this moment. It was after I addressed my behavior at Loretta Devine's party. And I called her. And what could I journal? Yeah. That's why the memoir is so good. Because you've got it all down. Yes, since I was in seventh grade. And guess why I journal? Why? Because I knew I was going to be a movie star one day. And I would need my book. And you know what she said to me? She said, that's what saved your life. Yeah. Because you were journaling. But I want to know, you know, you love sex, but you have never decided to settle down.

45:52Yeah. Why? Why is that? I've been engaged four times. Not that that is tied together. No, I'm going to tell you right now. I had the sex addiction in my 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and early 60s. Until yesterday. Oh, 20 minutes ago. You missed it. So anyway, listen. You got to love me. That's in the show. That's good. I love that. Everything is in the show. Believe me.

46:28Girl, I didn't know it was an addiction I thought everybody was doing everything every night I didn't know But after the molestation, yes You run amok because you're looking for something That's not so ugly But I didn't know where to look So I looked everywhere Okay And because of the mania, I wasn't afraid to bring a stranger to my apartment. And that's often part of it. Do you understand? Coming from the street. That's often part of it. You know, the line. Oh, well, I'll kick his ass. Mm-hmm. But why? You just never found the one. Oh, no. I was in love with Miguel. Okay. I fell in love with Miguel.

47:18Yeah, he was the love of my life. He was the first one. I met him in college. He was a mathematician. Why didn't you all get married? He, I was too young. He asked me when I was like 19. Honey, I was like, baby, mama's going to be a star. Yes, I don't. I don't want to get married, have no kids. Yes. Because I wanted my mother to love me, Michelle. Well, let's talk about the fall. The fall. Here it is in a nutshell. the itinerary on this vacation Lori Petock had helped me write my second book and she wouldn't let me pay her I said girl then come on go to Africa your dear friend of Lori is here where is she?

48:02come on in here Lori she's watching I said come on go to Africa I never travel with anybody Lori wouldn't let me pay her she said you put money in a friendship the friendship's over I'm like, but you're old. I don't want your money. She's a white woman of leisure. But anyway, you got to love me. I say that in the show too. And then we, it was Safari. We've done that. In the Tasinette. Girl. Beautiful. You see the face of God. And doing it during the Great Migration. Oh. Well, I'm getting ready to tell you. Yes. I was in the middle of that migration. And that's the thing to point out, that being there at that time, the Serengeti is full of wildlife.

48:50Millions, millions are there. Prey, lions, everything, all four, they're there in the peak. It's peak season. Because there's times you can be in the Serengeti and it's empty, right? The animals have moved on. So you had this incident. And in these camps. Of the migration. The animals are everywhere. And at nighttime is the time they're the most active. So anyway. Yes, they're out of the heat of the sun. So the next stop was supposed to be the Seychelles Islands. But let's just say I never got to sell seashells by the seashore on the Seychelles. That's in there, too. So we checked in, girl, to the, you know, the Four Seasons and the Serengeti.

49:37Hot mess, you know, money. Don't ask me for that. So anyway, I love that line. Okay, girl, let me calm down. You're making me laugh. So Lori checked out, went to her room. I ran out to the water hole to see the elephants. Oh, it was so majestic and prehistoric. You know, I had been before. But you're different when you go back, you see. So the sun went down. I stayed and watched the sunset. And we all know that when the sun goes down in the Serengeti, There ain't no streetlights. So my little young African butler escorted me to my room with a very large flashlight. You get it? Anyway. Oh, girl, I'm a mess in this show.

50:27Yeah. I said, when he left, I undressed for bed. Well, good. And I sleep naked. At least you let him leave. Yeah, I let him go. Girl, you doing the whole show. I love you. I love you. So at least I let him leave. And here I go After he left the court Oh, he was a cutie patootie But he was mad All right It's never stopped you before But anyway You love that line So I took off all my clothes Oh, you know you've imagined it Where is it? Yeah And I'm about to Submerge my soft, silky, sexy skin Onto the silk sheets But then I see an entire infinity pool out on the deck. So I thought a little colored girl from Kinloch, Missouri would go out and take in the fact that she had returned to the motherland.

51:23So I'm just walking on the deck. La-dee-da. Now it's pitch black out in the savannah. And a little light, little bitty light, that if there had been a sign, I would have seen it. But I'm like, la-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da. Bra-da-da.

51:4510 feet down. Oh. Totally unbraced too because that's like... But thank God because had I known I was falling I would have tightened and broke something. Right. The right buttocks took the impact. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The shoulder hit a stone but the head, the shoulder protected the head. Mm-hmm. Girl, how I didn't hit my head. It was boulders and rocks. It had to be rocky, right? Oh, and that grass that the cat stalked through, that ain't soft. No, it's not. That was all in the back. Lori had to put... Oh, Lord. So I'm down there, and I'm like... I fell. Pitch black. And you didn't lose consciousness.

52:36You didn't pass out. I was in and out. In and out. Okay. So, girl, let me read this thing to you It's brilliant Hold on Because here it is Let me just read it All right It says, here it goes I fell ten feet from an unsecured deck Off my hotel room Into a pit of wild animals And no, Anthony Anderson, I was not drunk That's in the show Is that good? That's so good Isn't that good? Doctors Without Borders Came to rescue me and airvacked me from Tanzania to Nairobi, Kenya. I underwent a 12-hour surgery at Aga Khan University Hospital. Not Chaka Khan, but Aga Khan. So stupid. I had three blood transfusions, six nights in ICU, and after I cussed out everybody in English and Swahili, they couldn't wait to ship my ass back to the States.

53:42Now, from the helicopter, now while I'm down on the ground. I mean, in one of your videos, there's a huge water buffalo roaming. That was a Cape buffalo. Just feet away from me. Ten feet away from where you fell. And there was a little, there's an antelope. And these buffalo are vicious. Oh, girl. They are, you know, this isn't just, you know. Yeah, no, I was down there. I mean, these are wild, very aggressive. buffalo who will charge. Oh, they will charge. Now, um... And you said you heard a lion roar. Oh, yes, the lion roared. So you're sitting there alone waiting for help. Yeah, in the dark.

54:22Uh, the hippopotamus comes over. Is this for real? No, it's not. Okay, I'm just checking. You know, I mean, they're really... My sister's getting in the way of the story here. I'm sorry. I just want to know. No, it's hysterical. Okay, all right. What I've done, guys, I've taken the biggest tragedy of my life and I'm going to make you laugh.

54:50Craig Robinson here. And as the holiday season comes closer, it's time to plan our holiday travel. And you know, as our family gets older, it makes it harder for all of us to cram into one hotel room for an extended period of time. So we have six or seven adult-sized people traveling simultaneously now that the kids are getting older. So we need a little more space. We need a little more freedom. That's why booking a stay on Airbnb makes so much sense for our family. You know, imagine heading to South Carolina with friends for a cozy fall weekend or taking the family to Orlando over the Thanksgiving break.

55:35Instead of being stuck in a hotel lobby or eating takeout food on the bed, which can be kind of fun, you've got a living room to gather in, a kitchen to cook these great holiday meals and make memories. You even could cook out outside, which I love doing in the fall weather. It makes the trip feel warmer, more personal, and way more memorable. It's those little things, more space, more privacy, and staying in the coolest parts of town that make an Airbnb trip better than a hotel. Welcome back to IMO. We made it, folks. It's December. The holiday hustle's just starting to wind down, which means it's a perfect time to switch into new year, new moves mode.

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57:48But then I heard them The animals Grazing And Munching And crunching And You know Having sex Girl I got a joke in this show I was about to say You don't want it without me

58:12you are good everything you say is in the show and I'm trying to be nice and then I say now I couldn't see the animal but I know what having sex sounds like girl I feel like I'm in your brain now I said that there were two there were two little pink booty baby baboons that came and swung out of the tree, they said, if you're going to fall this close to our tree, you need to be properly groomed.

58:50So let's help you out. And then there's a little antelope in Tanzania. It's officially called a dick dick. D-I-K, D-I-K. Now you can't make this up. What do you think I did with a dick dick? I didn't have any clothes on. So the dick dick was grazing. Listen here, Craig. The dick dick, no, no, no. Look, it was animals. The dick dick was grazing nearby. And he mistook, you know, my private area for grass and began to graze. I grabbed him by the back of his neck. You didn't expect that, did you? Listen here. I grabbed him by the back of his neck. I'm enjoying the show. I grabbed a little dick dick by the back of his neck.

59:40I said, now you listen to me, Mr. Dick Dick. Under any other circumstances, I would enjoy what you're doing. Is that good? You can't make it up. But anyway, Dr. Oroko, because I'm going to tell him to watch this. When I got to Cedars-Sinai here in Los Angeles after they brought me home, The doctors there Saw the x-rays I fractured my acetabulum By the way And that's It is the Here are the femur bones And here's the hip bone There's a socket that holds The femur in The hip bone Oof So when my right buttocks hit This is what happened Oh, God. Don't ever fracture your acetabulum. It was horrible.

1:00:39So when we got to Nairobi and he said, you fractured your acetabulum. I said, I broke my head. It's like the last thing. And he says, we have to get you to the theater, mom. Mom. I said, the theater? Broadway? Where? And he said, no. Not that theater. The room we perform the surgeries in, Miss Lewis, is called the theater. I said, well, then get me to the theater. God, it's all in the show. But they did. They did a 12-hour surgery. I didn't call my family, Michelle. What were they going to do, fly down there? When did you tell them? When did they know? I told them about three weeks after. I couldn't.

1:01:27Well, you talked about that because I shared that with Craig when I heard you say that you needed all of your energy for healing. When I came out of that first MRI or x-ray, whatever it was, and the gurney rounded a corner, I said to myself, you ain't telling nobody. You're going to need all of you. And didn't nobody push you, Miss Lewis. You pushed yourself. And now you get her. And I didn't want none of y 'all to know I had fallen. And no one did. Until I was able to tell you how I got up. I had to wait a year and a half before I called Robin Roberts. I had to be able to tell y 'all how I got up.

1:02:24Anybody can fall. You can fall out of love Fall out with your parents Fall on the ground But how do you get up? How do we get up? I couldn't separate my knees For four months Talk about karma I know you were coming in girl No you were coming in I couldn't walk for 13 months Michelle You see I'm walking And I got the high kick back Oh You see that? There you go Where's that angle? I want a good angle. You see that? We got the angle. A girl that could not separate her knees. She's back, y 'all. The bitch is back. She's back. No, and that might be the name of the show. But I'm very excited. I'm very happy.

1:03:13I'm very happy in my life because I didn't know how not to come back. We try to help our listeners With your stories And the stories that we have on here And you've been doing that throughout this entire conversation You have really bestowed on us a lot You know guys, I've had a lot of energy I shouldn't have drank this coffee My strength's gonna kill me But listen

1:03:44When you look at death In the face If you come back You're different Because you ain't scared no more I wasn't scared That scared before But now I'm unstoppable Yes But with love Yes And with grace And gratitude I filled every I took an imaginary water hose and filled every room in my house with liquid gratitude and swam in it throughout that physical therapy. Yes. You got to hold on to life. You got to know something's coming. Be ready. Well, we have a listener question, and I think it sort of speaks to, We have a young woman who is asking for advice. Lynn from Illinois. Let's hear the question from Lynn.

1:04:55Hey, Lynn, girl. At 23, I sometimes feel like I climb forward only to fall back to rock bottom, carrying burdens and responsibilities heavier than most of my age because of where I come from. how can high achieving young people from disadvantaged backgrounds keep finding the strength and hope to chase their dreams when life feels overwhelming and the systems feel like barriers? Lynn, my love for people is tough love. As it is for myself. You might have heard At the beginning of this Conversation You heard me say There's no time for despair

1:05:56Nobody stopped me or Kept me from all the horrors That I experienced in life But I say to you, have yours Have them Because they will make you stronger They will give you courage Life is hard, baby That's what life is It's lesson after lesson after lesson And if you hold on I promise you I give you my word and that's a word, darling.

1:06:44It's right around the corner.

1:06:49It's right around the corner. You got to get up. Well, and it starts there. Like you said, it's the belief in herself. Yes. you know, an understanding that, you know, she's going to run into people who don't believe, who don't have her best interests at heart. But in the end, all of that is noise if she can hold on to the light that she knows she has. I mean, just like Jennifer said, she was born knowing that she had a light, a gift. I believe that all of us are born knowing that. You've got that light. Yeah, it's there. It's there. Everybody was given. We're all God's babies, whatever that means to you.

1:07:37You keep that light on. Nobody's better or worse than you. The day I became a true star was the day I realized everybody was one. And you also talked about the importance of having a dream. A dream, a passion. A passion. And people say, how do you find your passion? What makes you smile? What in a day if you're walking around, not laugh. Laughing and smiling is different. Two different things. You can't fake a smile. You can fake some laughter, but not a smile. People who go, uh-uh, you can see that. You know they fucking shit. Yeah, right. Come on. Bitch, please. That nice, nasty smile. Yeah.

1:08:40What made you smile yesterday? today, but more important, what's making you smile at this moment.

1:08:52That's your passion. And that's part of the journaling process too. Absolutely. Because if you're writing down your experiences, you know, and if you're paying attention, because writing it down means you're paying attention. And the other thing, one other thing I say is, and especially in these days right now, what we're living in. You have only one weapon. There's one. One weapon. Know thyself. What are you going to do when they come to the door and it's coming to you? What are you going to do? You going to run? There's nowhere to run. I tried to run and I got money to run, but you meet yourself.

1:09:42you will meet yourself when you get there. So there's no running. So go in here. Go in here and straighten your spine. You sit up. When you walk in a room, you hold your head up. Yes. Sit up. Stand up. Get up. You can have despair for two minutes. And get up. Go on, Craig. Craig, Craig, you talk too much. I just want to thank you for the wisdom. I didn't get to say nothing. No, that's okay. Hey, listen, I get to say plenty. I ain't coming back here no more. No, you are welcome back here all the time. And she is laughing because she talks too much. I love it. But when she talks, you know what? And that's another thing about you and you.

1:10:38I've watched the show. Everything y 'all say ain't no frivolity going on. Ain't no like some dumb shit. It's like they said something. That's a word. All right, I'll tune in next time. Thank you. That's really nice of you. This has been fun. Yes. It's been heartbreaking. It has been true. and it's been entertaining yes we are part of the audience my trick is going to say did you take your medication you lunatic that was Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson why didn't you take some instruments but this is what IMO is about and I said at the outset we've met on several occasions but this is the beginning of knowing.

1:11:38Okay, I do still want to hear, but before we go, I want to hear my song. Which one? Okay, here it is. It's so good. It's so good. This is the best one. Here it is. And it goes a little bit like this. Now, don't clap because I'll go off rhythm. Yes, please. I've written some white people.

1:11:59Baby, when the white people chime in on the rhythm, I want you to know something now. I love y 'all. We'll cut this part out. We want to keep our white audience. Listen, I love my white people. I do. But y 'all just, when we start doing things, just sit still. Da-da-da-da-da. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Now there's Miss Diane Carroll, Lena Horne, and Eartha Kitt. Da-da. They stayed on top for ages, but their looks never quit. Now when white women get older, their skin gets creased in line. But because of my race, look at my face. So there's a baby behind because black don't cry.

1:12:50I tell you, black don't cry. Now Cardi B and Beyonce certainly know how to make a buck. But being sued for fights or on Grammy nights, they don't need no nipping tucks.

1:13:12Now Harriet's got her railroad. Sojourner's got her truth. So Kamala Harris and Jasmine Crockett could be a choice at the voting booth. Oprah Winfrey's got her billions and Michelle's got Obama. And I still look good out in Hollywood playing everybody's mama. I tell you, black, don't cry. Oh, so white girls, get your facelifts to your foreheads on your back. Because I'll be having fun out in the sun. Because, baby, black, don't act. Woo! And then, shaka-con.

1:14:00That's the Arca Chagun Chagun Girl Gotta love it Alright We That way We got That way Woo Woo Woo Jennifer Lewis Hot man We are staying tuned Staying tuned For that one woman show Yes I will be right there Thank you Oh I hope so I will be right there Love you Love you Thank you Thank you so much For being here For sharing Thank you And thank you for doing the work. All right. And Craig, don't talk so much next time. I didn't enjoy this because I didn't get a word either.