Respect Your Kids’ Choices with Damon and Marlon Wayans

24:43You had me there. I just fell right into that. I know. I feel like darn, you got me. So when you guys first started out, did you have real jobs or did you, because your older brothers were already in the business, you went straight there? I'm sure you had to have a non— I've been working since I was seven years old. So that makes me wonder where, you know, a lot of black families would be like entertainment, you know? You got to go get a job. What was it about your parents that they were so encouraging? It wasn't my parents. Okay, okay, let's clarify. They were black parents. Like, what you mean entertainment?

25:25You ain't never been entertaining and I've known you my whole life. Kenan was like, I'm going to pursue my dreams. I'm not going to pursue your dream. I'm going to pursue my dream. And that took a lot of courage. And I remember when he did it. And I remember the impact it had on me as a kid. And it's funny, as a man, Kenan still wants me to now do his dream. I'm like, no, I want to do my dream. Like you did your dream. But that was very powerful and impactful for our family. Was Kenan kind of as the eldest, as really kind of father-like because of the age difference? It was that, and he just had it together.

26:06Keena had vision, right? I had an older brother, Dwayne, who was paranoid schizophrenic, so you couldn't take any direction from him. I know he tried to teach me to drive. Turn the wheel! Turn the wheel! We're on the freeway. I'm eight. Wait. Turn the wheel! I'm eight! First of all, you were eight. Eight years old. No seatbelts. We had to stand up in the car. If you turned, you just line over like that. Please turn the wheel. Turn the wheel. And I just thought, what happened? So that brother was out. Yes. So we know not to follow his guys. Don't follow Dwayne. Don't follow Dwayne. Yeah, Kenan was always like, you know, he was an A student.

26:52You know, he was. It's interesting how life will take you on this journey. Bruce Lee said, stay liquid so you always end up where you're supposed to be. Yeah. And so with Kenan, he told me he went to Tuskegee. And he went there to learn that the improvisation club was two miles away from where we live. Oh, wow. Yeah. Because he used to like stand, they had a totem pole. And he would stand out there and tell jokes like every day. And someone came up to him and said, man, you're funny. You should do stand-up comedy. like right down the block from where we grew up. That's what he says he learned from college.

27:32Yeah, it's like what was two blocks away. Not liquid, but not to take your shirt off if it's a pull-off. In the middle of the fight. It's like, different kind of liquid.

27:46Yeah, and for me, my journey, I started out wanting to be a singer. Can you sing? No, when I was young. No, when I was young. That seems like an obvious question. Can you sing? Like Michael Jackson. I saw it through a gerbil in a driver's disposal. I hate the way you sing. Oh, my goodness. Now, I can't. Because when I went through puberty, I told my mother, I said, Ma, can I take some lessons? She said, boy, I can't even feed you. You don't get no lessons. You don't get no lessons. Find something else to do. So she told me. Find something else. Next. And so I started DJing. And that was my dream.

28:25I wanted to be a DJ. Craig was a DJ in college. I still had turntables and CDJs. Yeah. And with stems and all the stuff you can do now. His DJ name was Craigie Craig. Craigie Craig. Craigie Craig. Sweetie right here, Craigie Craig. My man, my man. Yeah. And so I went to, we used to throw parties up in, when I was, I moved out of my house, up to my parents' house at 16. I lived with my cousin up in Marble Hill, the projects. and we used to throw parties and all the girls would be out there. It was like, it was fun. And then when Keenan moved to California, he gave me his apartment in Washington Heights.

29:04And I was like, okay, cool. So I told my cousin, I'm moving. And he's like, all right, well, you got to do what you got to do. And I had all this equipment. I had like speakers the size of washing machines. Because that's how big speakers were back in the day. I made them myself. Like, I went to downtown, bought the tweeters and the sub whoopers and all that. And my cousin, I came back to get my stuff, and it was all gone. Oh, no. And I was like, yo, Riti, you need to get my stuff back. He was actually 250 pounds at 14 years old. So I knew he could beat me, you know. Yeah. But I, you know, because I was like 125 pounds.

29:46And so I just had to take that on the chin and find something else to do. I told his mother, he took my stuff. She said, you ain't expect to live here for free. I was like, you were in the room? What? He took all my stuff and he brought it up to a barbershop. I taught him how to cut hair. Took it to this barbershop and I was just like, what am I going to do? And then I found stand-up. So it's interesting how, where the journey will take you. I wouldn't have done stand-up if I was going to be, if I was really committed to being the DJ. Where's your cousin now? He died. Oh, okay. Well, we won't talk about him then.

30:25Just because he stole his equipment. He didn't cry at the funeral. They made sure they put him in a real little casket. I'll show him. Well, speaking of family. His casket looked like this. We had to tuck him in the casket. It was a circle. It's like, here you go. Pay it back, pay it back. Well, you know, with such a big family, because it's not just your brothers and sisters, but extended family. I mean, I talk to a lot of black folks, you know, make it big. And it's just the pressure to take care of everybody can be overwhelming. And have you guys been in that position because of your fame, because of where folks are like, yo, yo.

31:11I just refuse to. Yeah. Yeah, I think of it like this. I think the more I give, the more God provides. Yeah. He's never let me down. So it doesn't matter what people want, no matter what I have to do. I just give. And God is taking care of me every day. My kids are healthy. My kids are eating. They're thriving. I can't ask them. I'm healthy. If I can do anything, if I need to fly home to go do something and not just money, I try to be present. I try to show up. And that's my assignment from God and my parents to love my siblings and my family like my mother and my father would want me to. And that's just what I do.

31:51That's beautiful. Well, we've got a listener who's a mom who is trying—she's got younger kids and trying to raise her kids to not be so competitive with each other and be more collegial with each other and get along. Make them kiss in the mouth. There you go. That's one. I think competition is good, you know, if it's a healthy competition. Like, we compete, like, comedically, right? So the joke is thrown on the table, and then we all, you know, give our different takes on it. But whoever threw it on the table, that's their joke. And I think in the spirit of the competition, it's—I just want to—like when I do a scene with Damon, the only thing I'm thinking is I don't want to be funnier than Damon.

32:44Yeah. I want to make my brother laugh. Yeah. I want to break him and break his son because then I know what I'm doing is funny. Yeah. If he stutters or he's holding back a laugh, I know I'm doing something right, and that's going to inspire him to go, okay, next take I got something for you. You know? Marlon is a scene steal. Don't be lying. He's in it for himself. But he does want to make us laugh. Does Marlon do the best impressions of everybody in the family? No, Sean. Sean. Sean's magical. Sean is the Jay Farrell of the Wayans family. That man's impression. He does my father so good. You would think my father.

33:22He does my father better than my father did my father. Sean, bring it. Sean, bring it. He is. Well, let's hear the question. and it's from Gina in Orange County.

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37:12Hi, Masha and Craig. My name is Gina. and my question is, what was it that your parents said or did that helped you grow to love and support one another throughout the years as siblings? As a full-time working mom of four kids, ages nine, seven, five, and five, one of the most difficult challenges of parenting has been trying to raise my kids to support each other. There seems to be a lot of competition between them, especially between my twin boys. As one of five siblings myself growing up in a challenging immigrant environment, we just knew not to fight over any frivolous things. There was and still is a lot of love between myself and my siblings.

37:58Yet seeing my kids who are so fortunate and privileged bicker and fight over the simplest things has been baffling. Any words of wisdom for this, Mama? Thank you for creating this platform. Gina from Orange County. I think my parents taught us to respect their elders. So my respect as the baby, all my siblings, my sisters, I don't care how much money they got. I still got to listen to them. And, you know, I respect them. Damon, Kenan, my big brother, Dwayne, you know, the older sibling sets the example for the young sibling. My older brother, Dwayne, was a great big brother to Keenan and Damon.

38:39He was very protective. Not to Keenan. When he wasn't hitting you in the head with a wiffle ball bat. See, Damon's like, don't quite remember it that way. Damon's like, I love Dwayne. But Dwayne taught, you know, he was very protective of Keenan. And he was kind of like the offensive line to a great quarterback. You know, sometimes it's just that extra block. And he just gave him that space. And Keenan respected Dwayne and Damon respected Keenan. I respect all of my siblings. So I think somebody has to set the example. And then you have to teach them respect and honor and love and that we're all doing this together.

39:18It's funny. It's like even now, this is how my family is. Like I'm 65 years old and Keenan goes, go get me a soda. And I got to go get it. And you do. Yeah. I got to go get it. And it's just like. That doesn't work that way in our family. She's like, go get me a cell. Yeah. If Marlon walks in the room and, no, if I walk in a room and there's no seats, Marlon gets up. Yeah. Sean and Keenan will sit. Yeah. And Marlon will get up. You sit here. And my son will have to do the same thing. That's why I love the fact that they have children. Yeah. Because I just use that. I go to my theater sometime and Lil Damon's there and Mikey's there.

40:02And as soon as I walk in the room, the youngest one gets up and lets me sit down. Without question. I love that. Did your parents instill that? Or did you all do that sort of? Just a code. Yeah. It's just a code. Informally. Quiet code. We didn't teach them that. They just watch how we do with each other. Yeah. And it's just a quiet code. Some things you don't have to teach. It's just what you see. But it starts at the top. I mean, the way you talk about your father. I mean, there was sometimes a level of fear because you didn't know what he was going to do. But what was always there was a level of respect.

40:37And so whether you felt like that was happening just as your code, it started because that's how you thought of your father. And I'm sure that had a little bit to do with how your parents interacted. but I also know that as siblings, sometimes we read the parental relationship differently or the situation. I'm wondering if you guys have different takes on. Yeah, I was scared to death of my father. Yeah. Scared. Like, he would pants my father. Like, my father would be talking, he'd just snatch his pants off. Okay. And for me, that was like a suicide. That's why you're so crazy. That's a suicide.

41:13Yes. You would pants your father. And my father would, hey, Jack, come on. Hey, hey. Those were my friends. My mother and my father were my friends. They were their parents. I was scared. I came along. My dad, they had money. My brothers had got some houses. They were tired. And they were old. By the time you came around, it's like. My dad, he had breasts. Who you going to? He pulled out. The belt was all soggy. Man, if you don't sit your ass down, let's talk about this. All right, I'll come home at 1.30 instead of 2. But, you know, beyond the fear of my father, I respected my father. And it was the man that he was that he showed up every day.

41:47That man made sure that he never left us. never left us and there was a time when him and my mother was breaking up and all the kids was out the house except me and Sean and my dad moved to Harlem and my mother at that time she had her little schizophrenia going on so she was cursing him out calling him all kinds of names my father left and then he came back like a month later because he was like I'm not done yet my two boys need me I didn't come this far to abandon because me and Sean started acting bad and he was like no I'm not I'm gonna finish this assignment from God and he showed up and that example for me I didn't fear my father I just respect my father and I love that man I fear him like we I used to go and we used to like rob houses for stereo for music equipment DJ stuff so that's it was just payback this is what I'm saying that's karma okay okay now it all see we all caught that it's like what no but the stuff my cousin took was stuff that I bought oh Unlike the stuff you stole.

42:51Like Dave wants. But listen, I wouldn't go with my friend. He's like, that's not the point. That's not the point. We digress. We digress. I couldn't bring it home. Yeah. So my dad was like the security guy at Best Buy. You need a receipt. Where'd you get it from? Yeah. And where'd you make the money? You couldn't just bring stolen anything into the house. Yeah. I had a friend, Seymour. his mother would be shouting out requests. See my play by Molly. I'm like, what? I'm not stolen stuff. Boy, get it out of my house. If you don't put on my mommy. But it was just a different kind of upbringing, you know?

43:34And that fear kept me out of a lot of trouble. Stuff that I would think about doing, I wouldn't do because I thought about my dad. If I got arrested, you know what? Keep me here, officer. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, I don't want my father picking me up. I wouldn't even tell him my name. I'm serious. I was arrested. Well, today just let me go because I wouldn't tell him my name. Ingenious. Fear. Yes. But when I think about, you know, what our parents did or didn't do, and maybe it's a little bit different because we're brother-sister, because that same gender dynamic may make it a little bit hard.

44:18But I know we got along for some of the same reasons. It was the, you know, it was, we didn't want to, our parents worked hard enough without us fighting and causing havoc. We knew our parents were working as hard as they could. We knew that they were giving us as much as they could. I guess we grew up grateful. and perhaps sometimes in this generation where kids have, I think, too much. Parents are giving kids a lot of stuff and they're not giving them some guidance that what we had was a lot of gratitude for the little bit that we did have. So it was sort of like, well, what was there left for us to be fighting about?

45:03I don't know about you, but my parents never asked me once whether I was happy. Nope, never. That was never even a question. My mother said, get out of here with that stupid look on your face. That's exactly it.

45:19And I think we, you know, to the questioner, I think, you know, how do you get your kids to get along? I think parents have to sort of look at the foundation they're setting. Because kids don't just, out of the blue, fight all the time. You know, that's not in their nature. So the question has to be, what tone are you setting in the house? Well, it's funny. My parents, they argue like cats and dogs. And I guess we was like, we don't want to be like that. Right, right. But I'm not talking about arguing or not. It's are you establishing the foundations of respect? Right, right. Like, do they respect you?

45:57Or do they think you want to be a little friend? Right. Right? Because what I did with Malia and Sasha, I didn't mediate in between them because I was like, I love you both. And if I don't know who was wrong, don't ask me to get in it. But what I would say is that if I have to get in it, everybody's in trouble. That's all I can do because I don't want to play favorites. I'm not sure who's telling the truth. And so if I'm involved, I don't care what happened. Play is shut down. doors closed, computers off, it's over. And it was interesting that, you know, they wouldn't want me involved as a result.

46:41So they'd wind up, you'd hear them in the White House because their doors faced each other. There was a hall door into their rooms and their two bedrooms faced each other. And I'd say, you know, go, I don't care what you do, but figure it out. So you'd hear this, that quiet fighting like, Sasha, if you don't, and I tell you, And I'm, wait, I'm going to hear it. It's a slam and a slam. But eventually, they'd figure it out because they wanted to keep playing. The other thing we had to do was dinner time altogether. Oh, yeah, we did that. I know that if we had a phone. If we had dinner. Well, even when we didn't have dinner.

47:26Did you have dinner? No, even when we didn't have dinner, we had to sit around so he could tell us there ain't no food. And then we'd have a discussion about it. But, you know, dinner was something that you didn't have an option. There was no, can I go? That was the same way in our house. Sit your butt down in your seat and eat. And then we had to clean up. Like, I would have to wash dishes or I would have to, you know, take out the garbage to clean. You know, each one had an assignment. So those kind of things, you realize we can't watch TV until we all do this. Until the kitchen is clean. Yeah.

48:08Right? So it's simple things like that that teach your kids to work together. And also my mother buddied us up. Right? So it's always like Sean, everywhere I went, that's your baby. He had to take his baby with him. What's the age difference? Me and Sean a year and a half. And me and Kenan were like that. Year and a half. That's your baby. And me and Sean, we dreamed together. Like, we used to watch TV together. We used to watch Abbott and Costello. We'd watch Honeymooners. Because in our little minds, at four and five years old, we was going to create our own TV show. Really? You knew that early?

48:44Yeah, because I seen them on TV. And I was like, wait, we can actually do this? That's right. So from the young age of like seven, eight years old, me and Sean, we was like, we're going to write our own show. So we just studied. And we had this buddy thing we always did. And my mother made us go. We were freaking frack. And Sean was there. My father used to call us Marlon and Sean. Marlon and Sean. Marlon and Sean. We had to go get their coffee. We had to go to a grocery store together. They buddied us up. And so that makes you take care of your younger sibling. It makes you be responsible as an older sibling.

49:17And it's weird how that is in the next generation. I was just going to ask that. How you doing with your own kids? Amar and Anaya. You got Anaya and Berlin that paired up. You got Caden and Maverick. Each one has their... Or their buddy cousin. Like my son and Sean's daughter, Ailea. They're 23 years old. They're at my house writing together. They're directing together. They're shooting music videos together. And then Layla, who's Sean's other daughter, is a DJ and a singer and a producer. And so the three of them all work together and they never really argue. They have so much fun. You would think they were siblings.

50:01We have a very tight-knit family. Yeah. Very. What are some of the strategies that you guys, other than buddying up, that you learned from your parents that you're using on your own children? Because I think Gina would be able to hopefully take something away from that. Well, the interesting thing is I go, you know, and some things I should have done just like my parents. But I was so, like, traumatized growing up that, like, with my kids, my sons, I didn't like spanking them. I hated when I had to spank them. Like, it hurt me. I hit my kids one time. Yeah, I was the same way. And I cried like a baby because I was like, I can't do that to them.

50:46And I felt silly. And I took a couple of spankings for me to be like, yeah, you know what? After the 50-something one, I was like. But I felt like, you know, this is a little kid. And the fact that I can't think of any better way to get my point across than to smack somebody on the butt, I felt embarrassed in the same way. But see, boys are different, though. Like boys are actively seeking destruction. That's like that. I thought you were going to say discipline. They just do the stupidest thing. They jump off the roof. My son would jump off the roof into the pool. Yeah. Watch this, dad. What?

51:30And he's in the pool and you just go, do you know how many different ways you could hurt yourself? But that was their thing, riding a bike down the hill backwards. It's like, what are you guys doing? But that's just something in, I think, boys' DNA that just makes them just a little aggressive and stupid. Whereas my daughters, I talk to them. I frustrate them because, like with my daughters, I realize at a certain age, they don't want to hear what you guys say. And it comes pretty early. Yeah. And so what I do is go, well, you're right where you want to be, baby. and when you get tired of being there, you'll change.

52:11That doesn't help me right now. But I know that I can't tell you. You don't want to hear what I have to say about your boyfriend. You don't want to hear. I'm not going to allow you to deflect. I'm on your team. I'm not going to be the obstacle in your way. I don't want to be the fighter. I'm here to support you, love you, whatever you want to do. It's your life. I'll pick up the pieces afterwards. Because you realize if you try to, let's stay with the boyfriend, say something about someone's boyfriend, then you're attacking their ability to pick someone for themselves. So they defend them. They hold on and they fight.

52:56But if you just step back, then they're going to see that. They'll see what I see. And they'll see it quicker. Oh, this dude ain't nothing. Well, I talk about that as like you guys are handing your children their lives and you're doing it early so that they can learn from their own mistakes. And I think nowadays a lot of parents are trying to live their kids' lives for them so that they don't make any mistakes and don't feel any sense of failure, which keeps them from learning. I tend to agree with that in my parenting principles too. It's like, you know what? I raised y 'all to have some sense, to have some judgment.

53:37And at some point, you've got to practice that, which means that I've got to let go. So even in the White House, my motto before these kids went to college, I gave them more rope. Because I was like, here, have more freedom. That's because you had the Secret Service budget. Well, that was also true. You know, Barack will say his real reason for wanting to be president, second term, was that having teenage girls running around with men with guns. But yeah, he would say that all the time. He's like, OK, I think I can do this another four years because look at them. They're growing up. But knowing that they wouldn't live with that kind of security for their entire lives, it was like one day you will be out there.

54:24And I think that the reverse happens now is that everybody's trying to hold on to their kids. But one day they're going to get out there. And the only thing that is for certain for kids getting out in the world is they're going to get hit with some failure. That's the only thing that's guaranteed. So we've got to start preparing them early for that. Letting them practice making their own decisions. and, you know, choosing the knucklehead boyfriend and holding your tongue and, you know, and showing them that you trust them so that when they do fail, they'll come back.

55:07This episode of IMO is brought to you by Theraflu. Hey, it's Craig Robinson here. And let me tell you, being sick is no joke. But you know what's even tougher? feeling like you can't take the time to rest and recover because you've got bills to pay or a job to keep. You know, being a coach, even though I was afforded paid sick time, it was the type of job that you really try and muscle through for your team. And I have done that. It made me realize, though, that it is tough for folks who don't have the benefit of paid sick time. It's not only tough on the individual and their families it's also tough on your co-workers maybe you like so many americans have felt that stress too wondering what your boss will think or if your paycheck will take a hit that's why i'm proud to talk about what theraflu is doing with their right to rest and recover campaign for the past four years they've been championing the right to pay six time for everyone.

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1:00:13If you're a parent of a child with ADHD, dyslexia, or any learning difference, and especially if you're navigating special education as a parent of color, you know it can feel like a maze. There's a podcast from understood.org called Opportunity Gap that's here to help. It's hosted by Julian Saavedra. And in every episode, he talks with special ed teachers, child psychologists, and other experts. They break down things like how to navigate the IEP process, what accommodations your child is entitled to, and how to build a strong relationship with your child's teachers. You know, I checked out the opportunity gap myself, and what stood out to me was how practical and empowering it is.

1:01:01It's a resource that really meets families where they are. It also provides tools to help families build confidence in navigating the challenges of children who learn differently. To listen, just search Opportunity Gap in your podcast app. That's Opportunity Gap.

1:01:26It's funny, I hold my tongue, but I say what I'm going to say. I have to give my honest opinion, but what I'm not going to do is give you like a real emotion that's tethered to that. I'm just going to say what I got to say as an adult, and then whatever you choose to do, that's on you. But I had to tell you what you asked my opinion. I'm going to give it to you straight. Now after that, I love you. Well, if you ask my opinion, I'm going to tell you. But if you don't, Kenan always say, I'm worthy inquiry. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. If you don't, then you've got to let life talk. Yeah. The way you all impersonate your brothers and sisters.

1:02:05We're all doing an impression of Sean. Doing an impression of Katie. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, speaking of parenting, I wanted to talk, Marlon, a bit about, you know, just so proud of how you are being a role model for dealing with a child that's transgender. Absolutely. And that's, you know, that warms my heart, particularly as a black man. You know, would you care to share that journey of? Well, I learned like, like, and their transition really taught me what real unconditional love was. when I went, when they went through the transition, I actually went through the transition. I went from denial to complete acceptance.

1:02:55And it took me a week to get there. You know, and what I've learned as a parent is for you to stop loving your child because of their choice in their life, that's a poor reflection on you. You know what I mean? When there's people that go, I'm not going to associate with you because you do that, or this is against God and this. It's It's like, listen, I am not here to judge. I am not God. Only God can judge. And I say this, you know, and if that's a mistake and we get to heaven and God don't let my child in, I'm going to shave a beard and sneak him in through the back. But I'm going to love my baby.

1:03:30And I'm a father. And I'm always going to defend them. I'm always going to protect them. I'm always going to respect them. And there's nothing anybody could ever tell me. I could lose fans good. I lost people that are small-minded, small-hearted, and self-loathing. So goodbye. And I gained, for every one I lose, I gain 150 more. So for me as the uncle, you know, it's I love you, period. But somebody got to write a rule book on how I need to treat you. Because I don't know. Hey, buddy. Can I shake your head? Can I put you in a headlock? Can I treat you like I treat my other nephews? I don't know.

1:04:11And I don't want you to ever feel that I'm judging you. That's right. Because you just don't know. I used to say it's like going to your grandmother and expecting them to learn a new language overnight. It's like they've been speaking this language, using pronouns in this way for their entire life. and to get it wrong. And it's a mutual patience with the process. And they've been very patient, me and their mother. Because, you know, when they changed their name, I'm like, I called you a Mai for 23 years. What do you mean, Kai? I know you as a Mai. What do you mean, them? I know you as her. And it was a process.

1:04:53And at the end of the day, it's respect. That's what they want and that's their wishes. So respect their wishes. and I know that the same child is in there. They're brilliant, right? And that's all I really care about is they're kind-hearted, they're really funny, have a great sense of humor, and extremely intelligent. And those are the things I'm proud of. Are you a good person? I don't care about your sexualities and all these other things, your genders or associations. I care that you are a good-hearted person, that you take care of your siblings, your mother, you're respectful. They have been wonderful their whole lives.

1:05:32I've never had any problem with them at all. And I like to be putting that out there for the world. I mean, because we just, especially in our community, we've sacrificed a lot over this issue. And it's all about realizing that we got to love people how they come to us, period. not just our kids, but all kids. And the notion that we would put people in unfair advantages, put their lives at risk over some nonsense. Because those are bad people. End of the day, when you are being divisive like that, you are a bad person. Your core is bad. No matter what you do, you're not going to make your way in heaven.

1:06:23My job is to be here to give laughter and to give love. And everything, that got to be my intention and will always be. And like I said, I'm a father. That's my baby. And, you know, I fight with them to the end, period. I love that. You guys should, I mean, that's just absolutely wonderful. And your parents did such a great job with you. I sound like an old man now. I know, right? This is how people talk to us. It's like, you know. It's just, and you love to hear when people tell you unsolicited things about your kids. You know, I know I do. When people come up and say, you know, your son was doing such and such, and he's just such a wonderful kid.

1:07:06And I think for Gina, she's just got to have the confidence to raise them now. Don't be friends with them now. Raise them now, and they'll be great human beings that you can be friends with when they're in their 30s. You know, our parents were not our friends. They were people who loved us and taught us respect and boundaries and hard work. And I'm not saying this for us, but I'm saying this for people listening, because I think we get this wrong about what our kids need and want. And our kids need and want guidance, respect, love, discipline. You know, none of that We all got disciplined You know, but none of that stopped us From loving our parents And revering them, you know So I want people out there For five minutes after the ass movements I'll be like, I want to just get hit by a train I have cursed out my mother Underneath my breath On several occasions, you know But you never did it to their face You know, this notion that I hate my mom, it's like You better say that in your head, in your room You don't say that out loud.

1:08:18Parents are too afraid to set those kind of boundaries. And I think that's also part of the challenge that we're facing in this generation. We're replacing love and respect with stuff. And I just want to be a proponent for reinstating some of the stuff that we had, some of the good old wisdom that our parents had in raising kids. So we have room in the parenting proposition to be a little more like, get up, get yourself together, to criticize them, to give them strong guidance, to give them our opinions, to direct them. And engage with them. And engage with them. I have this little two-year-old.

1:09:04Yeah. And she's such a gift. Yeah. And when I have her on Mondays, we go to dinner. I cook for her. It's just me and her. Daddy and Axel. And we do every—I make sure. And she'll say, Dad, come play with me. And so I go to her room and we'll have a tea party. And, you know, those things, I think creating those memories, for me, that's the most— She brings out the kid in me. And I think parents need to take more time. When you have time to spend with them in that way and that, you know, play with them. Yeah, that's a great place to start with sort of parting advice for Gina, right? You can't be too busy to parent.

1:09:48You can't be too tired to parent. Never. You can't, you know, you can't be too... You can't outsource it to a phone. Or to a nanny. Yeah. Those are your kids. My mama didn't have no nanny. My mother had black elbows Light skinned women Black elbows, why? Because we had a black windowsill In the projects And my mother used to sit on that windowsill And watch us play in the middle All of our kids Damon get down from there Sean don't hit him with that back My mother sat there on that windowsill Watching us to the point to where her elbows Was black My mama watched her children Don't be having other people watch your kids Keep your eyes on your kids.

1:10:32That is your responsibility. You know? I know, really. It's like, did I do enough?

1:10:45Did I do enough? But no, Damien, any parting advice for Gina? I think you just have to love them and accept everything. and expect nothing because you can't put all your hopes and dreams in them. You have to let them, you know, what is life if you don't learn lessons? And they will figure it out. It's four of them. But right now, they're probably figuring out who's the alpha. Yeah, that's right. Some of it is like trying to figure out what the hierarchy is. That's just the natural order of things. You have to just trust that they're going to figure it out. and you're there setting the example of what it ultimately should be.

1:11:33And I find that the kids are raising you in this way. They're trying to teach you something about yourself. They're trying to, they're asking you to be more patient. They're asking you to find different ways to communicate. The kids are really teaching you. Like my child taught me unconditional love. I used to always say unconditional love and then it was like, okay, you really want to practice that? Well, do it. Here you go. And that made me go, oh, this is what I was asking of people. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I do. Yeah, I like that because it's like, what are your kids telling you in their disputes?

1:12:15Are they asking for attention? Are they just looking to grow? You know, it may not be a problem at all that your kids are figuring out how to get along with each other. You know, an argument is not always a bad thing. You know, a little scuffle may not be a bad thing. It depends on what's at the foundation of it. Sometimes it's you. My mother would go, where'd you get that foul mouth from? Oh.

1:12:47It's like, showing you yourself. Yeah, yeah. Well, you guys are, you know, pretty amazing. Thank you. Apples don't fall far from the tree. I wish I knew your parents. I did. I wish I could look your parents in the eye and tell them, wow, what wisdom. That's what IMO is about. It's like we now have wisdom. We're now at the age where we are them. And we have learned a lot from them. And part of that obligation is to share it with folks who maybe didn't have that. Absolutely. Right? Because there are a lot of people trying to figure out, can I be a good parent if I don't have money, if I'm not this or that, you know?

1:13:37And we are all living proof that there's a way to do it, you know? And there's a philosophy to follow. And people are looking for help out there. And that, you know, you're willing to bring your wisdom to this table, you know? I'm just grateful. Thank you for having us. Thank you for having us. It's been a great time. Y 'all a good people. Yeah, yeah. Agree. But the question is, can we be good entertainers in this podcast? I think your dad's doing an amazing job. Absolutely. Oh, he's just looking for a compliment. No, I paid him. I paid him early. Under the table, man. I got to do it under the table.

1:14:16No, I appreciate you guys being here. It's great to meet you. Thanks for having me. Yeah, yeah. Good stuff. Good stuff. Thank you.