A Canksgiving Special

0:00This episode of I've had it is brought to you by booking.com. Since 2010, they've helped over 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay. That's Billion with a B. Head over to Booking.com and start your listing today. Get seen, get booked on Booking.com.

0:23So are we supposed to start the podcast? Listen up, Patriots, Gay-Triots, They-Triots, Black-Triots, and Brown-Triots. Pumps has abandoned us on this Thanksgiving day. She has fled to Mexico City with her children for a well-deserved vacation. And I'm here with none other than my husband back in Action City in Oklahoma City. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Welcome, Josh, to I've Had It. Hello. Happy Turkey Day to all the listeners, all the viewers. Josh, what have you had it with? Well, now, this is a humdinger. Okay. This is, as some of the viewers, listeners know, gay-triots, patriots. Yeah. I've co-hosted on this show from time to time.

1:11The last time that I co-hosted, we were in the throes of moving the princess, Jennifer Welch, to New York City. I was told, given rather short notice, that I was going to be co-hosting. We were en route to the studio to co-host. And it dawned on me that I was wearing the same outfit I had worn at the gym, not realizing that the filming of this was going to be sort of full length, full body. And so I sat through a hour and a half long session wearing knee high socks, short, short workout shorts, not realizing that all of this was going to be exposed to the viewer and didn't get to properly dress.

2:00And so what I've had it with is the fact that I was sort of put Johnny on the spot without being able to address this with the viewer why I was wearing such a ridiculous get up. And it was I saw the video of it and I saw a few of the comments. It was what in the fuck is Josh wearing? Because I had these knee high socks that you've made jokes about that old people wear. I was OK. A few things about this. we before we went to film we decided we were going to go exercise first and so after we exercised we just ubered straight to the recording studio and josh did ask me at the apartment am i going to be seen from the waist down at all and i said maybe it depends on how they set up the camera but i didn't really probe into it let me just stop you there that would be the sort of understatement So I'm on the side table with my legs in full view, me with these knee high socks, like short shorts, short workout shorts, not knowing that this was going to happen.

3:04So I'm rendering these somewhat serious legal opinions about things, quasi serious all the time. I'm wearing this get up and I'm sure that any sort of casual viewer that just sort of hopped on is thinking, OK, what the fuck is this? It's not just any sort of casual viewer. Every other comment, I would say four out of five comments was what the fuck is Josh doing? Why does he have any pants on? But here was something interesting that I discovered that day, listener, and everybody knows my husband's rather vain. And so I noticed when we went to the gym together, he does like to wear short shorts.

3:40I mean, he's got good legs, got it, flaunt it, whatevs, right? Okay. I mean, throw the Patriots a bone, no big deal there. Uh, but I did notice that you wore compression socks. And so I asked him just rather straight up. I said, are those compression socks? And you were like, oh yeah, I love them. And then you immediately go, is there something wrong with them? And I go, well, they're kind of like old man socks, like hiked up. It was just a really interesting look considering you really spend a lot of time curating your outfits together. I was so surprised. And I support if you need compression at your age, darling.

4:16I support that. Thank you. I am so shallow that the thought that anyone would look at something I'm wearing and then have some hesitation about it. So that instantly sort of jarred some sort of insecurity in me. And I don't, I like a high sock because I've got these trashy tattoos from like the nineties that I got in Arkansas. And so I like to cover those. That's a complete lie. You did not get those tattoos in the nineties in Arkansas. You got them when you were like 40 something we were married and i remember it crystal clear a couple of them were i was sitting maybe 98 not these on the calves no these were you were you were 40 something years old anyway these long socks i like and the compression i think does help with circulation but i didn't realize it was a sign of aging that looking at someone wearing compression socks you immediately equate that to kind of an old man and once that dawned on me i thought okay these compression socks are going to have to go.

5:13Like, I don't know that I can. Have you worn them since then? Yes, but not pulled up to that extent. And in fairness to me, I was not told that this look was going to be shown on the internet to hundreds of thousands of people. I didn't know that had I been given some notice of that, I would have adjusted my wardrobe. I think our listener liked it. I think our listener liked it. Here's the thing. We put out so much content and then how fun for them that they're, you know, like, oh, they're in New York. Oh, the husband's subbing in. And then all of a sudden there's a wide shot. It looks like you're sitting there in your goddamn panties.

5:47That's exciting. And Trump's America. And I like to share that with Jennifer. I go, Jennifer, I look like a buffoon. And of course she just gets this glowing look on her face. Like, I know, isn't it great? You know, it's like zero empathy for my presentation. Keep in mind, I do have a law firm that I practice at. So I'm on the internet looking like a fucking buffoon, But hey, it's exciting. I think it's exciting that I think it's exciting that you were reporting legal matters in your panties. Kylie, did you notice the when you first got the footage because the studio would have sent it to you to edit?

6:21What's the first thing you noticed when you saw the footage? And then please elaborate on the comments on YouTube. I'm so glad you brought this up because we had an incident like, I don't know, two years ago where Josh was mad at me because I didn't tell him about his panties that he was wearing in that episode. Yeah. So I get this footage, I pull it up and he did it again. I couldn't believe it. I thought this must truly be a choice. So I didn't say anything. You thought I was going for that look. Yeah. I think you wanted the comments a little bit. I want to get spicy. And I do want to say this.

6:56I do want to give Emma a shout out and say, I apologize. Like, I'm sure I showed up like that. And she was very smart, intellectual person and great guest. And I'm sure she was like, OK, what's the story here? So I did want to provide some context for the viewer and just sort of get that grievance off my chest. It's kind of set with me over the past few weeks, but I've gotten past it. I think it's fun. I think it's exciting for podcasting. I think it was a curve ball and sometimes the mundane content that comes out. Jennifer's husband's subbing. Oh, he's not wearing pants. I thought it was exciting and fun.

7:32Didn't you, Kylie? I did. I thought it was nice. And honestly, Josh, it's really good for our algorithm. So thank you for taking one for the team. That's good. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Let me tell you guys what I've had it with. So I've had it with something to do with my husband. He, when he orders from a particular fast food restaurant on DoorDash, somehow my phone number is synced with this taco shop. So he's ordering his own meal that has nothing to do with me. I'm even in a different state. I'm in New York. He's in Oklahoma. And I start getting text alerts. Thank you for placing your order at the taco shop.

8:16I'm FaceTiming with him and this goes down. I got six notifications for your DoorDash order and it wasn't even food for me. And I don't know how I'm involved in this relationship with you in the taco shop and DoorDash. I don't know how I get out. I don't know how to unsubscribe. I want to take a poll that says I don't want to be a part of this relationship. Yep. I want, um, first of all, me hearing this makes me want to order tacos every day. Number one, that's number one. Let's get that out. Number two, it's a little bit, I'd like to say it's a little bit of intentional payback for me dressing up like a clown on your podcast, but it's not, but I, I do sort of welcome the sort of like you enjoy the kind of, you know, the pettiness in it.

9:07I kind of do too. And the fact that I think you shared with me that You get a notification when the order's made. You get an update on the order before it's actually leaving the store. Then you get an update when it's left. You get an update when it's arriving. Then you get an update when it's dropped off. Okay, here it is. Hi, Josh Welch. Your order from the taco shop has been confirmed. Hey, Josh Welch. Your order from the taco shop is being delivered. Hey, Josh Welch. Your delivery driver has arrived. Hey, your Dasher has picked up your order. Jason is approaching. Thanks for ordering. Please take this poll.

9:45All of this was within a 15-minute period. It's texting terrorism. And I didn't consent to this. That makes me so happy. I want to go in and amend every other account that I have to get you kind of CC'd on this. So if you're tucked away in Manhattan and I'm down here in the throes of Oklahoma, I want you to be in the midst of some important meeting and get some ding ding on your phone that is nonstop about me ordering some cheeseburger or some taco. And that would just bring my heart the biggest amount of joy and love that I think I could possibly ever receive. All right. All right. Welcome to I've Had It, America's Top DEI podcast.

10:27Happy Thanksgiving to everybody. Kylie, how are you? I am good. Happy Thanksgiving. Let me ask you this. Did you get a light out there? Do you have a light? No, this is me raw. That's glow? Yeah, this is just my natural glow. You look good. I actually did a face mask last night. It looks good. Big Thanksgiving Day plans, Kylie. Let's hear about it. I have to go to Memphis, Tennessee. Ouch. Yeah, so we're going to go from red state to red state to celebrate Thanksgiving. Well, that's a straight shot down I-40, so enjoy. Go eat turkey. Thank you so much. Have fun with the fam. Thank you. I've got some reviews for you guys.

11:03Okay, let's see them. This one is five stars titled Hope as a Blue Dot in a Red State. And they write, I'm a first gen American born citizen who happens to be a blue dot in a red state. This podcast has restored a bit of hope that I and people who look like me are not alone. It's a breath of fresh air, and I'm so glad to have found it. Please continue being the voice for those of us who feel voiceless. That is so nice. That is just so good that one thing that has happened since we started the podcast is we're building a community where people can feel camaraderie and safety and support. I think that's one of the main threads that I see consistently when I see people that recognize you and want to come up and talk to you is that they feel like their voice is finally being heard on the Internet and that there's someone that feels the same way they do about a lot of these important issues and that you're vocal about that.

11:57And that's that's exactly why I think you do this podcast is for people like that to feel a sense of hope and community with other people that are like minded. Yeah. Kylie. Okay, the next one is five stars titled Refreshing. And Louisiana Liberal writes, Man, how awesome and refreshing is it to hear a couple of southern or southwestern white women speaking the truth and not sugarcoating anything? You ladies are giving these maggots and the maggocrats their comeuppance and a taste of their own medicine, which they can't stand. Anything that gets their hidden panties all wadded up is music to my ears.

12:34Keep up the great work, ladies. It's true that MAGA people in general, they love to criticize and, you know, troll everybody. And the minute you put a mirror up in their face or you troll them back, it is meltdown, titty baby city. These guys are snowflakes of the highest order. You call out any hypocrisy about their white nationalist dream and the way they vote that that they actually like to watch athletes that happen to be black or eat in a Mexican restaurant. You call them out for that and they act like they are under attack. It's just pathetic. And I'm sure that there's little people everywhere that when they see those clips, they just get this big grin on their face saying, yes, somebody's saying these things that we feel.

13:24And it sort of gives them a sense of hope. I think it's important because what we're all experiencing is like this mass abuse by a narcissist and then his sycophants. And it feels so isolating and overwhelming at times. And then you can see like now we know that MAGA, America First movement, is built on a bot farm based in Nigeria and Russia, that it's all bullshit. But you can feel like, oh, my God, they're taking over. And then you realize, no, there's a lot more of us. we just have a lot more to do in our lives. Like liberals in particular, we don't just sit on the internet and troll all day.

14:04And so you either have a bot that does that or the real full blown cultists, like their whole identity is like the Trump assassination photo. Right. And I think it's interesting. I saw yesterday Marjorie Taylor Greene, you know, she's resigning after sort of being in the throes of MAGA hell for a week or two. And I heard this other commenter say, basically, I've been in the throes of MAGA hell for years. So you're getting one week of it and you're deciding to dip out. I go, welcome to the real world. Exactly. Which is where you all live day in and day out. So kudos to you all for fading the heat and bringing the truth.

14:42Yes. Thank you. And I noticed that as soon as Fox starts browbeating us all the time, Kylie, I think you can attest to this. We get like docs with a bunch of one star reviews. So do me a favor, listener and viewer. If you have not reviewed our podcast, go and flood it with five stars. We're probably only four star podcast, to be quite honest. But I think you can go ahead and do a five for the country. Right, Kylie? Go ahead and throw in my name if it's anything to do with this episode or me in general. Talk about the compression socks. The compression socks and the panties. It's too bad we don't have a wide shot today because he does have on a really cute pair of blue jeans.

15:20We save the wide shot. It's a wide shot, but not one that peekaboo is under the table. This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Pumps, I've got to say, if you're looking to grow your vacation rental business, this is the place to be. Booking.com is one of the most downloaded travel apps in the entire world, and for good reason. Since 2010, they've helped over 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay. That's billion with a B. But here's the thing. Most vacation rentals don't even realize they can list their properties on booking.com. And if you're not on the platform, your rental is basically invisible to millions of booking.com travelers worldwide.

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18:53Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Speaking of some of this, I have a news story tailored just for our guest. Okay. It's from Elle, and it says, People who repeatedly post their workouts on social media have narcissistic traits, according to new study. And according to the research, people who post frequently about their workouts display a clear primary motivation to boast about their looks, or at least about the amount of time invested in physical appearance. Okay, this is a prime example of where I've had it blew the whistle two and a half, three years ago.

19:34And now the scientists are doing the research that confirm our findings. A couple of points I want to make here about Josh. Number one, I noticed, well, my, our youngest son noticed, it showed up in the algorithm. Josh has this trainer at the gym who makes these hype videos of Josh working out with an abundance of hashtags. and one of the hashtags that they use, he uses Josh's trainer. And Josh is not like, this isn't a, like a collab post. This is Josh's trainer posting Josh. And it shows up in our algorithms, which I immediately shared in my story and put my husband, the gym influencer when I get to see them.

20:14But in the hashtags, and I think Kylie and some of our Patreon members found this out. He's making this whole claim, like in your fifties, working out, you can look this good. like as good as my baby Josh right but some of the hashtags are hashtag menopause hashtag perimenopause Kylie have you noticed that I haven't seen that yeah hashtag menopause hashtag perimenopause I don't think that I've seen that either the only correction I would make Kylie from that headline is that there's no may in in that before the narcissism like there's absolute narcissism I think that it suggested, but, but, you know, it's this fine balance when you work out or you do something that you're proud of, like you, you sculpt your body like I have, and you've worked hard at doing that.

21:07Um, how much of that do you get to sort of show and not, you know, have too much swag or narcissism? How much can you just say, Hey, I work out a lot. And here's a picture of me working out versus, you know, the flip of that is, Oh God, here's another workout video of Josh? You know, what's the appropriate amount that you can sort of dip your toes into that without looking like a complete narcissist? Let me ask you this. If there was no, no narcissistic exposure risk, and if it were just up to you, would you post your workout every day? I don't think I would every day, but I would maybe once or twice a week, a week, maybe.

21:46Let me ask you this. Would you be flexing your muscles in any of these posts? In the course of working out, I would be, but I wouldn't just be like in flex pose for the picture. Okay. But in the course of doing it, but it's kind of like, because I do it so much, it's kind of like back when I was, when we were raising our kids, you did it every day. So you thought, okay, this is a good idea. Let me put a picture of my kids up, you know, in front of a pumpkin patch for Halloween or whatever it is. And so I guess maybe that's not being completely genuine because this is more about me, not my kids.

22:21But it's a balance that I'm trying to find. If you had a choice and you could post outfit of the day and or my workout of the day, which one would you pick? And there's no risk of being called a narcissist or Internet ridicule. Man, that's a tough one. Some good outfits. But that would be a single picture, whereas on the workout, I can post a video of the full body. Of the man in motion. Yeah, man in motion. Listen up, ladies. Listen up, ladies. Back off. He's all mine. All right? That's a really hard one. Okay. Kylie, what's next? Okay. I've got a disturbing news story coming out of Louisiana, and it says a Louisiana teacher sentenced to 41 years in prison for serving her students cupcakes laced with her husband's sperm.

23:14What in the actual fuck? There's so many questions I have about this. Number one, clearly it was probably the husband's idea. He's probably some sick puppy, right? And then for her to go along with it is insane. But how was this discovered? Well, not just that, but how was the semen preserved to sprinkle on the baked cupcakes? I think she probably baked it in, Josh. Like when she mixed the batter, he's jizzing in the bowl. Oh, simultaneously. Sort of. OK. She's got her she's got her mixer going. Well, that's a lot. And he's over there. Yeah. Kylie, do we have any other details regarding this? I do.

24:01So it says the woman is Cynthia Perkins, a former teacher from Louisiana. She was sentenced to 41 years pleading guilty to a series of disturbing crimes involving her ex-husband, Dennis, a former sheriff's lieutenant. Cynthia admitted to several offenses, including serving her students the bodily fluids. The crimes came to light in 2019 when authorities found extensive evidence on the couple's electronic devices, linking them to numerous acts of abuse and misconduct. So it looks like they found it out through their phones and computers. I would dare to say on a sentence that excessive, that high, 41 years, there's more to that story than just the placement of semen in the cupcakes.

24:44There's got to be. Because as awful as that is, don't know that that warrants 41 years in prison. I'm not trying to discount how bad it is. Right, right. No, no. And we appreciate your legal. No, there has to have been more. Something made them look at the phones and the computer. Right, they're on the phones and they see all this other stuff, and that's what we don't know. But man, I noticed the article said he's serving a hundred year sentence. So that's awful. It has to involve some sort of, you know, probably sex crime or something. I mean, there's some real sick puppies. And here's the thing.

25:16You can never uneat that cupcake. No, you just can't uneat it. We don't know how many students, how many cupcakes, how many cupcakes. That is so vile. Well, that's uplifting. Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you're enjoying your stuffing. Listener, if you're enjoying your mashed potatoes and be warning, be warned if your grandmother made cupcakes today. Yeah. If brother-in-law Jeb is handing out the dressing, you might kind of look at it differently this morning. Watch out for that gravy, that giblet, giblet gravy. Ouch. It's disgusting. Okay. One more news story. Okay. 43 % of Americans would leave their partner for$1 million survey fines.

25:59What do you guys think? Oh, wow. You know what? I'm going to say, baby, I wouldn't quit you for$1 million. $10 million, maybe. But$1 million, I don't think so. I would be taking a pay cut.

26:15You're safe with me. How much for you to leave me? Well, that's like the loaded of all questions. I know, but go ahead and answer it. So we can fight all afternoon. $25 million and up. is going to start grabbing my attention to be like, okay, what can I do with that? What do I have here? I'm going to start weighing options. Yeah. I think that's fair. And we've had a great run. Yeah. 25 years together. Maybe make some kind of backdoor deal where I'd give you like half. Yeah. Negotiate it. Yeah. Kylie, is there a dollar amount that could convince you to leave your beautiful girlfriend Anna? I think I would take some money if I could secretively, I'd be like, let me break up with you.

27:01I'll take this 10 million and then we can just secretly meet up, you know, still kind of hang out and we can just live off this money. But no, there's no dollar amount that I'm going to say on this podcast. I mean, I don't know that that would work, Kylie. You think that's against the rules? It would have to be a firm, you know, agreement. Yeah, I think that's against the rules. I think you don't get to have it both ways. You don't get to have your cupcake and your semen too, Kylie. That's right. That's right. You have to, it's one or the other. That's why I put the number at 25 because then I'm starting to weigh.