A Match Made in MAGA Hell

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0:30Jennifer:All right, listen up moms and dads with Father's Day coming up. Let's have some real talk. Most of us grew up thinking all cleaning products were safe, right? We're cleaning the germs away. But the truth is most conventional cleaners are full of these really harsh chemicals that can cause a whole host of health problems. And this is a real problem because you obviously have to clean, but you don't want your cleaning products making you sick. That's why I want to introduce you to Branch Basics. made from plant and mineral-based ingredients, Branch Basics is human safe and it's fragrance free, making it perfect for families or anyone looking to switch to a healthier home cleaning product.

1:13Jennifer:And here's the good news, listener. Branch Basics is now available at Target and Target.com, making it easier than ever to access safe and effective cleaning products. Whether you're going all in on safe cleaning swaps or just starting small, find Branch Basics at Target and Target.com today. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gaytriots, Thaytriots, Blacktriots, Browntriots, Pride Month, we love you. Everybody that still supports Trump can do what? Fuck off! pumps what have you had it with okay what i've had it with and i i've had it because i never ever ever watch just regular tv so what i've had it with is all the political commercials especially in oklahoma i've just i've just had it it's unbelievable i mean jennifer you probably left because you wanted to get away from this but we want to take america back are you fucking kidding From you.

2:21From who? I have it. Stop. It's just, I can't take it. They're pointing out who doesn't like Trump. Like, that's a bad thing. It's just, I can't take it. I'm ready for the Republican primary to be over just so I can have peace when watching a sporting event.

2:40Jennifer:You know, I saw on your Instagram stories one day and on my husband's Instagram stories one day, you both re-storied or re-grammed on your story, this statistics about Oklahoma, which it's, you know, 40, 50th in education, 49th in this, 48th in this, 46th in this, 47th in that. It's just, you know, a bottom 10 state. And for 20 years, it's been a Republican supermajority. And so it cracks me up when people in Oklahoma say, you know, we've got the radical left. I'm like, there are no radical left policies anywhere in Oklahoma. None, none, nowhere. And I have to go down to, I just recently had to go down to the county election board because when I went to vote for mayor, it had me under my married name, which I had filled out all the paperwork when I did the name change.

3:34And I, even though, you know, the save act hasn't passed, I thought they're fucking with people and I'm a Democrat. So I drove my fat ass down there and I re-signed it. And she's like, well, this is going to keep you from voting in the primary. I go, I'm a Democrat. There's nobody for me to vote for in the primary. Like we, we've got one in each race. I mean, they're recruiting Kylie and I to run. That's how desperate they are. So yeah, I would just PSA, go ahead before the midterms and check out your voter registration because crazy shit's happening.

4:08Jennifer:I wonder what would happen if a well-funded Democrat were able to go into an Oklahoma and run on just over and over and over the failed policies of the Oklahoma Republican Party. We, you know, the last time we had Brad Henry and listener, Brad Henry was the last time we had a Democratic governor. We're ranked 14th or 17th in education, depending on which data you look at. So, I mean, top 20 in education. Since then, it's been a Republican supermajority first via Mary Fallon, this governor who allegedly big Christian female governor who allegedly had an affair with one of the troopers, state troopers assigned to protect her.

4:51Jennifer:So of course, slap and tickle city with the Bible thumping Republican women. Then it gets passed to Governor Kevin Stitt, who dedicated every square inch of Oklahoma to Jesus Christ. And And despite the dedication, I think we're probably around 43 in education. Every metric, Oklahoma has collapsed further and further. And I wonder if there were a Democratic Party presence. We might not win. But the last the last gubernatorial race, the Democrat ran as Magalite. She didn't really run as a attack dog against Republican policies. It was, yeah, I'm pretty much Republican. I'm just not as crazy as they are.

5:42Jennifer:And I don't, I just don't think that works. Here's the thing after, you know, cause I had to go to the dentist yesterday. It was like two hours of watching, you know, whatever it was like NBC round the clock news or whatever. And I saw all these ads and I could read them because they had the closed captioning. And I just sat there and I thought, I think they're too stupid. I really, if you are that worried about the radical left, I mean, so many about trans, I'm like, there are more cases of measles in Texas than trans athletes in the whole United States. Like, if that's all you care about, you're not smart enough to take somebody saying, we are going to raise your wages.

6:29We are going to give you health care. This is what we're going to do. but we are part of the radical left lunatic. I don't think they're smart enough. Like if they're sitting there legitimately thinking we've got to take back America, I just, I don't have a lot of hope.

6:49Jennifer:I don't, I just think this is just going to be. Well, especially when you don't have a democratic party that is present in these states. So you have the Republicans that out crazy each other. And that's a real error of Rahm Emanuel, who thumbed his nose at the 50 state strategy. And you can see when the Democratic Party exited Bible Belt states like ours, you don't have a healthy electorate. You have a very toxic, crazy electorate. And these people fall prey to all this propaganda that there's litter boxes and people dressing up as cats, which here's the deal. Somebody wears cat ears like you're wound up about that like you're doing it mar-a-lago yeah they're doing that mar-a-lago and the president is um has some nipple obsession and teen teenagers left and right and the epstein files are accusing him of rape but some kid wore cat ears was a furry and you're that triggered like these people are so emotionally fragile yeah like it's crazy okay you mentioned the dentist so I went to the dentist yesterday for a clean cleanup and it's my new dentist in New York so I had to find a like neighborhood dentist so I had to fill out all of these forms so number one I've had it with 10 page forms that you have to fill out where it's like I mean literally he's asking me like if I had STDs well I guess your mouth could have we got that deep into it right but then there was one question that I kind of paused on because I was like nope nope nope nope nope no and then it was like are you emotionally unstable and I was like did somebody call them and tell them to put this in there like how do they know did they did they watch some footage of our podcast did and then they typed it in yeah so then I'm like paused on that and I have my mouse like over it I'm like how do I answer it do I go yes which is the truth or do I go no and lie so I went kind of back and forth I went on to a few more questions and I went back up to it and I was like no cross maybe maybe you'll find out no I always have those questions you like are you having emotional you know never at the dentist though but like at the this was straight up are you emotionally unstable that's all no I never had a question mark and I was just like what do they know that's how they know that's what i thought waters called and told them but then i also think how are people supposed to answer that because aren't we all situationally emotionally unstable throughout the day like some days i really like for two hours i'm like i got my shit together thick skin killing it i mean can get through anything and then on a dime something can happen and i completely lose my should.

9:44Jennifer:And so are we all a little emotionally unstable? Yes, absolutely. Speaking for myself, I lied to the dentist and said I wasn't. Well, hopefully they won't take it out on you. I'm cosplaying an emotionally stable person for today's podcast. Hey, if Donald Trump can do it, so can you. Maybe you can be. I don't think he's doing it very well. No, you're doing it way better. okay all right welcome to i've had it i'm jennifer i'm angie kylie hi hi kyle i've got uh two reviews okay and they're good ones this one's five stars titled can't wait till my wife can listen i thought i left one before but must have never submitted anyway love you ladies how you ladies stick it to maga love how you hold the status quo dems to the flame just as much can't wait till my wife can hear you guys she's in prison on an insanely excessive sentence that i'm fighting to change she's got a gay son and will love your support for the lgbtq community love you ladies keep it up i actually read something recently that there there's like a program where they're trying to get a certain amount of podcasts that prisoners can listen to they have access to and i think we need to get on this list oh i do too i i think that our emotional instability Right.

11:05That's what I was just thinking. Like we might get denied because of the emotional instability.

11:10Jennifer:No, but I think I think this whole notion of how punitive we are, like we incarcerate more people than any other first world country. And it's a for profit. Yeah, I think Oklahoma is like number one in incarcerating women. It's the worst state in the country for women to live in as Oklahoma. It's ranked 50th, dead last, despite the aforementioned dedication to Jesus H. Christ, our Lord and personal savior. Despite that, women well-being has plummeted. But I think this whole notion of being so punitive with people and incarcerating and these long drawn out sentences where the, you know, there's all of these for profit aspects to prison.

11:53Jennifer:If the prison itself isn't for profit, there's a lot of like food services, laundry services, there's a lot of services in there that are for profit. And we value the profit over rehabilitation. And my husband being a criminal defense attorney, you find out like so many people that are incarcerated are number one, the first thing is they're black. Like that there's a huge disparity there. And then it goes to money and having access to attorneys. And then there's this notion, like in the whole right wing, like comes the world you're talking about with your commercials. This appetite for cruelty in punishing people or hating homeless people.

12:40Jennifer:Yeah, there's no. Compassionals, like, well, they're just a criminal. and it's all fun and games until somebody's daughter or wife, you know, have some sort of accent. There was this case in Oklahoma. I've been dying to talk to the two of you about. Yep. I know everything you're going to say. Okay. So there's this lady, she's like a wine mom, but not a, not the good wine mom, the white racist kind of wine mom, right? Well, she gets all liquored up. She gets in her car and she's driving down a suburban street and she runs a stop sign, three sheets to the wind drunk driving and she rams into this car and the person in the car was a perfectly normal i think early 20s yeah healthy living sober human being gets hit um and now she's like in a wheelchair doing physical therapy like a really bad brain back injury right and so she She obviously is sentenced to time in prison for vehicular, I don't know if it's, I don't know what the charge is.

13:46Vehicular manslaughter, I think. But they're not, she's not dead.

13:52Jennifer:Oh, no, you're right. I can't remember. God. Come on, pumps. I know. God. America's greatest legal mind. Anyway, obviously for drunk driving with, you know, nefarious intent or whatever, or injuring another human being. So apparently her, she and her husband are big Kevin Stitt thumbers, the governor of Oklahoma right now, who's, I want to fight crime. I'm for law and order. I'm for personal accountability. And I dedicate every square inch of this state to Jesus Christ while I go to my mega church and send my kids, not to Oklahoma public schools because they suck. But I send my kids, if you're Kevin Stitt, to the hate academies, the Christian schools.

14:34Jennifer:So they donated some money to Kevin Stitt and he basically got her out of prison. So this corruption from Trump, the Republicans are just so much more brazen about this. And so this woman is now out of prison. And I just want to say this, despite her politics, she clearly is an alcoholic or has some sort of drinking issue. It is my preference, whether somebody's MAGA or progressive or completely apolitical, that we treat addicts, we treat their addiction. I don't know that incarceration for long periods of time helped. This woman had children, et cetera. Again, she's everything I hate, MAGA thumper, triple trumper, all of those things.

15:21Jennifer:Despite my disliking her points of view, I don't know how beneficial it is for her to be locked up. But I think it's further damaging than for her to serve her sentence that was legal and the way the rules are in the state. For her to be able to pay to play where poor people and black people that make mistakes never get this type of privilege. privilege. This woman, okay, from my understanding, and I had a bunch of friends in Norman talk about it, and I read the decision by the court because she blind pled because she would not accept any time. Tell the listener what a blind plea is. Okay, so she, first of all, there's no evidence in the court record that she sought treatment, like inpatient treatment.

16:13she she was hammered on the way to carpool stopped at a liquor store kept going to carpool was going so fast like the the ring camera that caught it they equated it was bad i mean this is bad bad bad by all accounts there has been absolutely zero I mean, zero. Like graciousness, humility, taking accountability. Sorry, this was just one of those things. I should have to do community service. Then she's on the jail call with her husband after she's in prison. I mean, and just so offended because in county court, what she did is she said, for, I will not take a deal, but I won't go to a jury. So I want the judge to decide my sentence.

17:07So she got 15. That's a blind plea. That's a blind plea. So you go in front of the judge without a deal with, okay. Yeah. So she goes in a blind plea. So the judge gave her 15 years in prison with eight suspended. So that means she only had seven years to do. And in state court, unlike federal court, they lock your ass up in handcuffs right then and there. and so they locked her up in handcuffs and it was like everybody was melting down like how could you do this she is a mother how you almost killed somebody and they're never going to be the fucking same again no no remorse by all accounts she was about to go pick up her kids it sounds like too yes she was it was carpool time she was headed to carpool with a brief stop at the liquor store on the way.

17:55And then she is on the jail call with her husband talking about basically, do you have people working on this? Like, does he know how much we've done for this, him and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

18:09Jennifer:And talking about him being Kevin Stitt, the governor saying when it's, and basically magically without any parole or anything, she's just released. Bye-bye. wasn't a pardon wasn't a computation she just got out so i don't know is that is that at the core of of maga is uh white privilege and impunity don't you think it isn't in that in that venn diagram there's like whiteness um wealth privilege impunity racism uh elitism and that seems to be like the three line like do you remember there was a couple that took like some bullets to the dominican republic or some country you're not supposed to take a bullet and they were from oklahoma turks and caicos and they found them in the guy's suitcase they're like these are illegal we're putting you in jail.

19:09Jennifer:Those are our rules. This is our country. These are our rules. And all of the rule following personal accountability, law and order, MAGA Christians in Oklahoma had a stage five meltdown. How could they treat him this way? Governor, if a black person came in to the United States and broke a law, they would be like, well, these are our laws and don't come into our country it's just this i have hypocrisy on display and again i understand it in solitude i i know white women like her that think that their shit doesn't stink that think the rules don't apply to them and the all of the friends they hang out with i'm very familiar with this type of woman it's it's the group think of it where nobody talks anybody off the ledge and makes it makes the other person a better person that says imagine if it was your daughter that was right imagine if this were a black woman that did this how everybody would unravel kind of like with january 6 we always have to remind people imagine if all of the people that bomb that that not bombed or like with their personal space but But that attacked the Capitol were black people.

20:26Jennifer:I think that I think that would have been killed. I think it would have been assault rifles and it would have been completely resolved. And I think it would have been an absolute massacre. And I just think that it's always important to kind of point this out. So to our the person that reviewed in all sincerity, my heart and mind go out to your wife. And I hope that you all can listen to the podcast together soon. And to her gay son, it's Pride Month. And there's so many people are proud of you because every gay person tells the world who they are at great risk of bullying and judgment. And that continues on now.

21:09Jennifer:So thank you for writing that. That's really touching. And now for a quick message from today's sponsor, the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. Do you ever find yourself awake at 2 a.m., your phone in your hand, Googling things like, is it normal that my dog is dry heaving? Should you race to the emergency vet? That's why you need to enroll in ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Plan. and you can get a$25 Amazon gift card. It's a little treat for you while you're doing something really great for your pet. The program offers customizable accident and illness plans, making it easier to get your pet the care that they may need.

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22:52Jennifer:The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. All right, listener, let's just say it. Good hair days make all the difference in the world. When your hair feels healthy, you show up differently, you feel more confident, more relaxed, and you're not constantly checking the mirror. That's why I am so happy that I use Nutrafol. Nutrafol supports hair health from within and delivers results over time. So your hair becomes something you enjoy and not something you stress about. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand. And it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists.

23:39Jennifer:Nutrafol's hair growth supplements are peer reviewed, NSF certified for sport and clinically tested. listener let your hair become one less thing taking up space in your head and see thicker stronger faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with neutra fall for a limited time neutra fall is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you visit neutra fall.com and enter promo code had it that's Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo code had it. Okay, I've got one more quick one. Five stars almost died from laughing is the title and Valley writes listening to Tuesday's podcast while at the gym.

24:36I'm not a fitness gay or a bro. I'm just doing my thing and going through the motions. You all almost killed me talking about the free prince and Mr. Softy literally trying not to die while doing a barbell bench. I survived. You all make it worth fighting here in a red state of Florida.

24:56Jennifer:That's really like, I feel like the backbone of this podcast is blue dots and red states. I really do. I think it's the most overlooked portion of the American electorate. And I think those are the toughest fighters. There's no purity test in this. It is a breed of fuck you politics. It is a breed of Democrats. Stop with the focus text testing. Stop with the focus groups. We want you to get up every single day and stand up to these bozos. And number one, what was it? Pumps called it free print, but what was it really called? Catching print. She called it free press. like well and you know i've i've had to really rein that out because it's become such a problem no i'm like eyeballs only because my son walked in with some golf people and i was just like nope not gonna do it like they came a bunch of i've just gotten in such the habit and it was like okay let's dissect that just a little bit okay your older son or your younger son My younger son with his college friends.

26:10Jennifer:There we go. That was the answer I was looking for. So your younger son walked into your home with other college boys and your crotch gazing. Immediately. And I just, that was it. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not. That was rock bottom. That was rock bottom. And I can't, it is not okay for me. I can't do it ever because I can't stop. it just becomes something so i do it all you don't discriminate i do i do not discriminate i do not have proper boundaries you'll have age appropriate days no no but i mean it like my my heart stopped no crotch is safe nobody's safe no crotch is safe not even your son's friends yeah now they are because i mean i just was like oh and i do want to say this is so funny i was it was yesterday the day before I was doing something and I was concentrating really hard and I picked up my phone from Kylie and it was a picture of a Mr.

27:08Softy truck from New York and

27:10Jennifer:I best felt like yep there is you can see those I think of you I'm seeing them everywhere now too they're everywhere because it's summer and every time I see one I think it pops because when she was married, she called her husband soft serve. That was his nickname behind his back. And so when I see Mr. Softy, I'm always think about your failed marriage and ice cream. There's so many things to think about when you think about my failed marriage, but that is probably my God, before we get to the stories, I have to tell the two of you something. okay so insane so I went to this party last night in New York and started early before the basketball game and all of that and um this woman comes up to me and she's with this man and there may be around my age maybe slightly younger and she's like I really love your podcast I'm I thank you so much really appreciate that and she says I really liked your book and I said the one I wrote with pumped?

28:18Jennifer:And she said, yeah. And I did a thing at 92nd street wide. That's where we did our thing. I'm like, Oh, that's awesome. I said, I have another book coming out. And she said, Oh, when I said in October. And she said, what's the name of it? And I said, not today fascist. And you know how loud places are. So we're all super close. So the guy she's with is literally like three inches from my face. And this woman is about six to eight inches from my face right across from me. And we're all having to huddle in. And I'm with a couple of people in there there. And so she said, Oh, I like that title. Not today fascist.

28:50Jennifer:And the guy, white guy standing next to me, her friend starts going not today. What? Not today. What? And I said, not today fascist, like not today, Satan. And he goes, what, like, like there's fascism here. And I go, yeah, there's fascism here. And he keeps making these faces. And I said, I'd had it. I go, how about instead of sitting there making those faces, why don't you just look me right in the face and say, fuck off. And we can end this conversation instead of you passively doing that. He goes, well, I mean, I just, you know, there's just absolutely no fascism in the United States. And I go, okay, I've interviewed experts, the leading premier experts in the United States on this.

29:34And they've all come back with a unanimous, yes, that it is

29:39Jennifer:fascism, but you know, tell me your MAGA without telling me your MAGA. Cause I just, these white men that are so triggered. Well, it turns out this woman is a matchmaker. That's her job. He is a client of hers who she has failed to match. I wonder why. And instantly, and she had introduced him as, she goes, can I tell them who you are? This is before he started making all the faces and you know we didn't know each other I didn't even have his name and she was like he's COO of and it was some you know big swing and dick hedge fund company or whatever you know a dime a dozen up in New York and I'm just like I'm not impressed with that I mean you know like whatever um I didn't say that I was polite until he his faces were like this you guys when she was like she was like oh so it's like about fascism and he's going he's never just I and finally I just like this guy thinks that his shit doesn't stink yeah and he he can't just be polite or say i'm going to run the restroom if he's offended by the title of my book if he's that big of a snowflake and he's that big of a pussy he can't say hey i'm gonna go grab a drink and exit you know so so then he he wants to have these conversations with me about it he's like well i'm you know i'm just all about capitalism like well clearly and he tells me he's some libertarian And I'm just like, OK, whatever.

31:03Jennifer:But I realized in this moment. These white men, these privileged white men, their whole identity becomes capitalism. Yeah. And they see women with opinions as an incredible threat. You know, it wasn't like he said, that's interesting. Do you really? Well, then what did the expert say? Because I don't see it as fascism. It was a very hostile confrontation, which his facial expressions were so I was just like, you know what? fuck this guy. I'm out of fucks to give. I'm not in Oklahoma anymore. And I was like, why don't you just look at me and say, fuck you, instead of making those faces at me. And he was just like, what's the matchmaker doing?