Brokeback Bible Belt

0:00I sold my car in Carvana last night. Well, that's cool. No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer, down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wrong. So, what's the problem? That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes to smoothie. I'm waiting for the catch. Maybe there's no catch. That's exactly what a catch would want me to think. Wow, you need to relax. I need to knock on wood. Do we have wood? Is this table wood? I think it's laminate. Okay, yeah, that's good. That's close enough. Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees may apply.

0:32so are we supposed to start the podcast ready one two three patriots gay treats they treats black treats brown treats we love you and all of maga every single one of you one-time voters two-time voters three-time voters can do what pumps all right pumps what have you had it with okay what i've had it with is at my gym you know they have classes like yoga and pilates that you take your shoes off. That's fine. What I've had it with is the people that after the class walk around the gym with bare feet. I just find that to be somewhat repulsive. I just don't think bare feet should be where the machines are and everything.

1:18I mean, I take my shoes off for classes, but it's just growth. I've decided I kind of have an anti-foot thing working. I just don't want to see people's feet. Is that part of your anti-sex thing too? Like no feet, no sex? Here's the deal. I would rather have sex than see your feet. I would. Wow. Okay. I mean, that's a strong statement. That's pretty bad. No, Josh. So the feet, people, people's feet, you just lose your mind. What about people in a sandal or a flip-flop? That doesn't bother me. It just like, why do you care if they're barefoot though in the gym? Like where the machines are and everything.

1:58It's just right. But is there something more germy about a foot than a shoe? Is this at the gym? Yeah. Yeah. Especially when they have that outside class and walk in. Yeah. It's just, it's just not appropriate. It's not appropriate, but pumps. I want to say this too, because you've been outed before vaping at the gym. And I don't think that's appropriate either. So I'm torn here. I think that's a very fair criticism. them. I do think though that seeing someone walking around barefoot at the gym when you're trying to walk, work out, get your flex on, it's a little bit discerning. Like I agree with you, like I wouldn't like - Socks or no socks?

2:37What do you mean? In the gym? The barefoot people that are walking around, are they completely barefoot? Completely barefoot. And then do they continue exercising barefoot? Yeah. Like get on the treadmill barefoot. I just, I don't know. Wait, Wait, hold up. On the treadmill? Well, no, the Xer. The unicycle elliptical. Yeah, the Stairmaster. Barefoot? Yes. On a stair stepper? Yes, I was sitting on the bike, and this gal walked out of the deal, walked out of class. She popped up on there, and I was just like, ew. Yeah, that's bad, Poms. That's pretty bad. I would think that that would be a safety hazard.

3:15I would think so, too. I would think no one would want their nasty feet all over the place. Let's say this. So Jennifer and I had to go to this party where we had to take our shoes off at the party. And I'm wearing a suit, black suit, black, you know, black tie, white shirt, looking dap as fuck. And then I have to take my shoes off. I look like, you know, it's Christmas morning. I'm going to open presents or something. I've got socks on. Like it just really takes away from an outfit. When you remove the shoes, it's a killer. It's a killer. Yeah, I agree with that. But I think if people ask you to do it and you're in their home, you have to do it.

3:50I appreciated the request because it was hosted by these two gorgeous gay men. And they have a really bougie ass apartment. And they just had their floors refinished. And they didn't want everybody schlepping all over their floor. And as only gay men would do, they had a huge bowl of all sorts of socks that you could choose from to put on. perfect and they had a beautiful closet that you could go and put your shoes in the closet they weren't just all huddled at the floor it was very mindful it was very thoughtful i i'm somehow being made out to be the asshole here and i want to say this like i don't think you're the asshole i understand why you didn't want to take your shoes off because you thought they look great with your suit i'm saying in this instance i didn't mind it because of how thoughtful the gays were two separate things not assholing you i don't know that i minded it like i certainly respected their wishes not to have people in their home with shoes on, but it damn sure took away from the look I was trying to give too.

4:52I mean, both things can be true at the same time. I was trying to give off a certain vibe. The shoes off took away that vibe. Period. Josh, what have you had it with? Okay. I've thought about this long and dear before I sat in this chair. I have had it with white men that drive big pickup trucks that are pussies. It's epidemic. It is absolutely epidemic. And so let me preface that by saying I have this sort of recurring dream because I drive an SUV. I probably look like I'm one of those liberals. But I have this recurring dream that like we get to this light and maybe I'm trailing this guy too closely or something.

5:34he flips me off i flip him off he's got a big maga sticker all the shit on his truck it's a big f-150 you know four big tires he gets out he's got a camo hat on thinking he's just getting ready to whip this guy's ass and then i throttle that poor motherfucker until someone has to literally grab me off of him that we go at it toe to toe and just beat the piss out of him as we would say down in Hugo. And I keep thinking about that over and over that dream. And so I'm waiting. Violent fantasies too. Pumps's venture on psychosexual fantasies, which is really interesting. Softball players too at that, I think.

6:19Right, Pumps? Female softball players. That was one time. I don't really have a lot of sexual dreams going back to that. What are my psychosexual fantasies. Well, I think that you'd like to spank, as we've discussed on the podcast before, I've heard you say, Kylie, she wants to spank. She wanted to be a dominatrix against conservatives, correct? Like Ted Cruz, she wants to whip him and she wants to spank him and tell him he's a bad boy and he has a small penis. I think she could make a shit ton of money. She would. I really do. I think a lot of these men like it. I think a lot of them really enjoy, Like I think J.D.

6:55Vance enjoys being humiliated because why else would you work for Donald Trump? I mean, these men love being humiliated. Why else would you support Donald Trump and brag about it? They have a humiliation kink. Pumps, you said that you don't have that many dreams about sex a few minutes ago. Do you remember that? Yeah. Do you have sex more than you have dreams about sex? Or which one do you do more? Both are just base zero. Yeah, I don't think, do you dream more about having sex than you have sex? Or is it the other way around? I can't remember the last time I had, I mean, to be honest, the only real sex dream that I remember having that I hadn't worked out in my sleep was the lesbian dream.

7:42Is that with the softball player? She had a menage of 12. They were basketball players. But yeah, two OU basketball players. They were sisters, which is a weird kink. It was an incestual lesbian dream. and you orgasmed and i orgasmed i mean i woke up and i was like holy shit so was this during the time period that you were going to women's softball games i'm still going to women's softball games yeah you're not a lesbian though no i should be i would love to be a lesbian um i would say this was like 20 years ago i think i could look it up to the exact date when those twins played at ou but i'll spare you my looking it up do you do you mind revealing who the twins were no uh courtney and ashley paris and they had a father who's an nfl player yes that right for san francisco yeah i remember so it was during that era that you're sitting at home courtney paris was like the big that's right she was a big deal at ou yeah and they're both like six five i mean these these are not you wouldn't look at these women and be like oh yeah that's who i want to fuck yeah i did you're just sitting home fat and happy back then aren't you just smiling just having a good old time do you have a picture of these twins kylie that you can pop up so i i don't think i've ever seen them i know about your lesbian dreams but i don't know that i've ever seen uh an image of the girls that got you off yeah these two yeah love it i love it i I love this for you.

9:17It's fantastic. I mean, that's the highest compliment to these young women. For sure. Coming from a straight woman. Yeah. For sure. Allegedly straight. Okay. It's a big allegedly right there. That's an all caps Trump tweet right there. Allegedly. All right. Let me tell you all what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with conversation belaborers. people that belabor conversations when I'm trying to exit, when I'm trying to leave. Somebody has started doing this in my life and really enjoys doing it. He has started doing dad jokes in the situation. Then he says stuff like this. Here's what's happening.

10:05we walk into a clothing store and Josh will be like, Hey, I need that shirt. And here's the size. And he'll say, I hope it'll fit me. You know, I'm pretty lean. I work out a lot to the sales guide. I'm sitting there and he'll say, I have about, you know, four or 5 % body fat. I'm pretty fit. And I'm just sitting there going, I want to die. And then he goes, you know, I'm just saying all this to irritate her. And then we're just belaboring the conversation where you have to do is say, I want this shirt, this size, put it on. Instead, we're talking about body fat. We're talking about, I want to rile up my wife.

10:34And this goes on and on. And then we're exchanging business cards. And then on the way out, we're asking what people are doing. We used to be able to be efficient in situations like this. And now Josh just really likes grandstanding. My favorite part of that too, is once I go through all the bullshit that I have, and then I look over there and I go, Hey, are you mad at me? You know, then I probe even further, you know and she's just like i just don't want to fucking talk about it anymore and i go what what is it what is it the whole time i know i mean jennifer runs a very tight ship like she wants things in order she wants them efficient and so if there's any diddy daddling around she's not having it and so sometimes i diddy daddle around intentionally intentionally intentionally i mean and i own it like i do it and then i'll walk off and i'll think i'm sure she's fucking pissed at that one that was a really good one or i'll say something and but this is also the perks of having been with someone for like 25 years like and she always says this about me but you know how many times i've heard her tell the same story i mean you how many fucking times sure it's a lot a lot and there's three or four three or four stories that are you know a plus zingers i get it they're fucking zingers but i'm there for every one of them you know so after about 10 11 12 times they're not zingers.

11:59They're not zingers anymore. They're annoying as fuck. But guess what Josh does? He takes one for the team because he loves his little princess. This is my grievance. And I just want you to know, and I'm sure that I put both of you through the ringer and telling, and even the, even people that work here for sure have heard my bullshit. But one thing that he does right in front to where the sales guy can hear it, it's like, then we go into full blown. Are you mad? Is that irritating you? And I'm like, we're good. Like I'm good. And I look at this, I go, we're good. We'll just take the shirt. Cause it's like, I don't know what's happened.

12:36I don't know what's going on, but it's like, he used to be on my team with this. Like, I want to talk less to people. I want us to be efficient. We were united in this united. Like we would both watch curb your enthusiasm and marvel at Larry David's character about how he would try to limit unnecessary conversations. And this was a shared value that we had in our marriage. Josh is going rogue from this shared value. And now we no longer share this value. And now he's cracking dad jokes, talking about the dad jokes, look at how fit. And then we go into, well, you know, I used to be kind of chubby, but that didn't bother mama.

13:15He says shit like that. You deserve that. You deserve that one. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if we had a picture of me, like when she met me, we could show that and say, you fell in love with that guy. But I do agree that as we've gotten older, I, I do find some humor in poking the bear a little bit. Like I think there's when the person that you love is sitting over there, just madder than fuck at you. There's something so exciting about that. It's fulfilling. It's just fulfilling. It keeps it exciting. It keeps it exciting. She failed to mention, I think I asked a Peloton instructor what his body fat was.

13:54We talked about that on a previous episode. Let me, let me first, before we do that, let me get us on track here with some comments that listeners have left on about Josh, the yak mouth. All right. The new yak mouth. Five stars. Josh is a gem by Jennifer 918. It's not me. It wasn't me. I love the show, but I double love these bonus episodes, especially the ones with Josh. Jennifer 918. I may leave the Jennifer 405 for the Jennifer 918. All right. And then the next review, Kylie, thoughts and prayers for Josh, 9.5 % body fat. We're going to get to all of that. Okay. And then the last one is when I was a young twink in my twenties, I was super skinny and I had 10 % body fat.

14:53No way Josh has 4%. I completely agree R245. So I'm tempted just to take my shirt off right now. I'm considering it. If we need to go there, we'll go there. I'm not suggesting it. But if I have to, like if the blasphemy becomes too much, then we will. All right. All right, listener, I have this struggle. I look terrible without makeup, but I hate the caked on makeup look. And that's why I'm so happy that I have discovered Jones Road Beauty. They simplify makeup without giving you that caked on look. No brushes, no complicated routine. You just use your fingers and go. And the best thing, every formula is packed with skin loving ingredients.

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17:19They're lightweight linen pants, which I'm obsessed with, and I have multiple pair. Their dresses and their tops start at$30. They are effortless, breathable, and easy to wear on repeat. Listener, refresh your everyday. With luxury, you'll actually see. Head to Quince.com slash had it for free shipping on your order. and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's q-u-i-n-c-e.com slash had it for free shipping and 365 day returns, quince.com slash had it. Let's, let's discuss. I, I have briefed the audience on that. You discovered that the body fat machine, I per my tip, I was like this body fat machine at our gym is not right.

18:11So you ordered your new body fat machine. Now I am getting daily text updates as to, and anybody's weight, anybody's body fat, it's not meant to be taken every day because you're going to have a fluctuation based on salt, water, piss, poop, whatever. This guy, how many times a day are you checking your body fat with your new machine? Let me first say this. Jennifer gets two texts from me in the morning. It's my Wordle and my body fat percentage. And it's a readout on the app from my phone. I screenshot that the app and the body fat percentage because it Bluetooth with the scales. And so every morning she gets that.

18:46And I think I was down like 0.03 % maybe this morning. Anyway, what was your question? I forgot. Okay. I've got time. I think, Pams, you take over the interview here with Josh, because I know that you have a lot of lingering questions about this. Yeah. Okay. How much, if you were to Google it between Claude and ChatGPT, what is the prevailing thought on how accurate it is that your body fat fluctuates every day? Is that common? I mean, I know weight does, but does body fat? It does, but you have to understand I'm measuring it down to the like millipound or whatever it is. It's like 9.05 versus, you know, 8.80.

19:28Like it varies. It can vary every day, but there was some fraud going on though. When I was getting these four and 5 % body fats, I really thought that that's what my body fat was. And then I went and got this expensive scale and it shows that I'm about 9%, 10%. Pomp's got me to add you to that text thread. Well, here's what I was going to say. I think what you're missing is that, how many times do you do this? How many times do you get on the scale on a day? At least twice. Do you poop before you get on the scale or after? I get on the scale afterward. Do you get on the scale wet or dry? Dry.

20:08And even if I'm wearing glasses, I'll take my glasses off. Even if I have like compression socks on, I'll take those off. I mean, it's a butt naked weigh in because every ounce matters. okay do you have you ever thought about instead of screenshotting jennifer the text including her in on the app so every time you get on the scale she just gets it alert that's what i think needs to happen i would i would like to do that no and i i could just start sending like selfies like instead of like body fat percentages just say okay i was a little puffy here but now i'm more fit now i'm more fit i could just do that too yeah um but let me see if there's like a collaboration on on the app see if i can if i if i'm going down that cunt's going down for bringing this up i'm bringing her down with me if i'm on the app she's on the app that's the only way this thing goes down and i want kylie and ryan on the app too let me tell you how my morning goes down so pumps text me every day too by the way so this is my somewhat dysfunctional life.

21:17So when I wake up, I send my body fat percentage to Jennifer and my Wordle. Pumps, you send me a text to tell me whether or not my color's called to go take my drug test. And we text like that every single day. Yeah, we do. Yeah. And so maybe I need to add you to the body fat percentage. For sure. If I'm going down, Pumps is going down. See, I would enjoy it because I know when you got it, you'd be like, oh, I would be happy. No, you would. Okay. I do want to say this though one of the my favorite texts that was recently sent to josh welch it was the wordle text and i can't remember what the word was an end but you're on your last thing it was like pu yes puffy or pussy yeah he said i was down at the end i didn't know if it was puffy or pussy yeah so i went with puffy for the win everything in my heart wanted to spell out pussy on that thing.

22:14But I knew that it wasn't going to be that. I just knew it wouldn't. But it took every fiber in my being not to type pussy instead, type puffy. But I did. I got it in six. Okay. We have a story for Josh. Let's pop this up. Here's an NPR headline on AI flattering us. AI is a suck up. Research shows how it flatters and suggests that we're not to blame. And here's a screen grab from this article in a recent study published in the journal Science. Chang and her colleagues report that AI models offer affirmations more often than people do, even for morally dubious or troubling scenarios. They found that this sycophancy was something that people trusted and preferred in an AI, even as it has made them less inclined to apologize or take responsibility for their behavior.

23:08The findings, experts say, highlight how this common AI feature may keep people returning to the technology despite the harm it causes. And so, Josh, I thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to share about your relationship with both ChatGPT and Claude and the fight you got in with ChatGPT for gaslighting him. Yeah, and I got ChatGPT to admit this, so I I asked chat GPT a question like, does President Trump control the Department of Justice? And then it gives me some answer that it doesn't. And then I have to give it four or five examples of how he does, in fact. And then chat GPT says, well, there's a perception that he does, but blah, blah, blah.

23:51And then I take the word perception and I say, no, it's not just perception. And then I list all these examples. And then chat GPT apologizes and said that it will do a better job moving forward of being transparent. that I was right, blah, blah, blah. And you know, this took about 20, 25 minutes as I'm working really hard during my day. Um, but yeah, so I called me and he goes, listen, I got chat GPT to admit that it's been gaslighting me, which is pretty impressive. I sent you the screenshot, I think. Yeah, I do. I have the screenshot. Chat GPT apologized to Josh for gaslighting him. Yeah. The admission on the record.

24:31And I said, isn't there is a picture up out there. Didn't he tweet Pam Bondi and tell her to do all this stuff? And then she did it. And isn't there this, isn't there that? And he said, you're right. You're right. You're right. Okay. I'll do a better job. Yeah. I'll do a better job with you next time. But I don't know. I, I, I'm not so fond of this sort of lovey dovey relationship with AI. Same. Here it is. Here's what chat GBT said to Josh. He, he circled it and screenshot it and sent it to me. You can see that circle there. Anyway, it says, I do agree that I should have called it what it was, a fact.

25:07You're holding me to a higher standard and I respect that. I'll make sure going forward that I stick to the facts. No hedging. Let's keep it fully, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And Josh said, okay, thank you. And then JetGPD says, Let's go to the webinar. Chat GPT says, you're welcome. I'm glad we can have this honest exchange. If anything else comes up, I'm here to tackle it head on with you, exclamation point. Here was Josh's prompt that got it to admit. Okay, Chat GPT, it's hard for me to believe that you will, quote, always aim to be as direct as possible when in fact, you just did the contrary.

25:49You just said the contrary. You omitted a very important piece of the puzzle and used the word perception instead of stating a fact. Do you agree with that, ChatGPT? Yeah. Turns out. ChatGPT did agree with that. But why did you break up with ChatGPT and get back together with Claude? For that very reason. The gaslighting? Yeah, for that very reason. Just lying to me. I mean, I appreciate ChatGPT being sweet about it, and I want to accept their apology. We don't need to split or divide here with any animosity toward each other. We can both be kind about it, but I mean, it's over with. We're done.

26:29We're breaking up. We're done. It's for that reason. Just lying to me and shit. What is that, President? But fool me once, shame on me. Fool me. You can't get fooled again. Yeah. Okay. Here's the deal, though. doesn't this speak to like a higher issue with like society in general like the lack of the ability to say i was wrong i'm sorry and take accountability i did that i fucked up like to me that is like a huge gaping sign and it's only going to get worse if ai is helping people avoid doing that that's right that's 100 right and i really wanted chat gpt to say that that it was lying. Like it just didn't satisfy me enough to say that it wasn't.

27:15Did that, did that impact the breakup? That was part of it. Like had chat GPT been in the witness box and I'd been the lawyer, I think I could have finagled a little more of some contrition out of them and get gotten that person to admit that they had really, uh, been dishonest and deceitful. But at some point, you know, I got to get back to work or I got to watch my show or whatever it is I'm doing. I can't just be fucking around with this stuff all day. Got shit to do. The next story. Let's pop this up. House Republicans want to ban pride flags at embassies and stop orgs from mentioning trans people.

27:54House Republicans introduced five measures to restrict the U.S. from promoting LGBTQ plus rights around the world. Each year, Congress must pass several large spending bills called appropriations to keep the federal government funded and functioning over the past several years. House Republicans have adopted a strategy of attaching unrelated measures to these bills called riders that attack LGBTQ plus rights. These measures often cannot pass on their own, although Senate and House Democrats have been effective at removing them most of the time. All five anti-LGBTQ plus writers appear to be rules or executive orders implemented by the administration since 2025, January of 25, making them statutory law passed by Congress would prevent the next Democratic president from overturning the measures on their first day in office.

28:55The measures include a flag ban, An envoy ban, which cuts funding for democratic positions focused on LGBTQ plus issues. Contractor rollback allows federal contractors to discriminate against LGBTQ plus workers. Trans healthcare ban. DEI trans gag rule reinforces existing bans on DEI and trans inclusive language and federally funded organization. That's gross. Here's the deal. it's just they're coming for everybody you know it was the women now it's overall since the trump administration i might be making this up because you know i do that sometimes haven't there been like 600 laws introduced around the country to peel back rights for lgt i'm sure yeah i think it's over 700 but even if there's a democrat in office you have local state governments like in Oklahoma.

29:54It's a constant erosion of that advancement of equality. Go ahead, Poms. I'm sorry. It just also signals to me how fragile these people are. They are so fucking fragile. They are so worried about somebody's flag. They're so triggered that somebody might have a flag that they disagree with. It's just, it's stunning how fragile these people are. And I think when we get back in office, we need to ban Republicans from embassies. If you're just a Republican. But this is an example, and we need to remind ourselves of this. When we're back in office, you see the vile nature of what they do, how they do it.

30:36And if we get one person back in office that wants to play integrity politics when we're trying to fight people like this, that discriminate against trans, gay, African-American, whatever it is. And we're going to go in there and play nice guy. No, we better not do that. We see what kind of game they're playing. And that's what it makes me think of is, is that, you know, this is a full blown war. It really is. It really is. It is a war for people's freedom. What pisses me off about this is how much people will allow this form of bigotry towards the LGBTQ plus community because they say the religion will not allow them to support equality.