Cankles-in-Chief

23:26Angie Sullivan:You know, I'm just going to say this objectively. Like it's amazing the staying power that the Bible has had. It's really not even that great of a read. I remember my high school boyfriend, my first high school boyfriend, his mother was just worried sick that I wasn't saved. So she bought me this precious moments Bible. And I remember I started reading it at the beginning. My mother was horrified. And I remember I got like a couple of pages in and I was like, this is snooze. I mean, this is boring. So then I kind of like flipped to the middle. It's boring. The really juicy stuff is like the Leviticus where they're talking about stallions and releasing your seed and all of that.

24:14Angie Sullivan:You know, that's kind of juicy. There's some juicy stuff in there. A lot of fucked up sex in the Bible. Yeah, there's that guy. There's a guy in the Bible. I don't know his name. You might know. I probably don't. Okay, he's an old guy and his daughters get him all liquored up. Yeah. And then his daughters rape him to have a baby or something. I believe he, yeah, his daughters slip him a Mickey and rape him. That's in the Bible. Yeah, no, I remember reading that story. Maybe it was Abraham. I don't know. To be fair, I never looked at the Bible, not once, until I was grown and had kids and went to the Bible study.

24:51Angie Sullivan:Like, I went to church. Okay, so let me get this. You hadn't read the Bible at all, and then you jumped to being a teacher of the Bible. Well, no, I went as a student. What, did you have to do training to be a Bible study instructor? I don't think you did. I don't remember that. I know I had a special class I went to, but that was just in preparation for the next. I've heard, you know, when you live in the South, you hear women a lot of times that I kind of, that are acquaintances and I'll bump into it like Target or somewhere, the grocery store. And I'll be like, hey, how are you? Oh, great. I just finished Bible study.

25:28Angie Sullivan:And it's a thing. I always think like, God, what a boring way to spend an hour or two, you know, going over Iron Age morality, where the first four of the Ten Commandments are about God's ego. Like, I just feel like we've advanced so far beyond that. Like, I'd much rather read Freud or some new study about, you know, the impacts of social media on our species. I just think there's such a better use of time. Yeah. No, I just, I just remember my mom said, I'm going to come over and watch Sam on Tuesday morning so you can go to Bible study. I was like, okay, great. It was just. So she decided it for you?

26:14Yeah. I was shocked to know one.

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29:26Angie Sullivan:Okay, let's move along. I have some alarming news. um tick tocker severe diarrhea on united flight leads to hazmat cleanup and flight cancellation tick tocker megan reinerston an actress and nanny experienced extreme diarrhea and vomiting which she attributed to an undercooked burger consumed in portugal she remained in the aircraft laboratory for an extended period even during landing with crew assistance the severity of the situation necessitated a full hazmat team to clean the aircraft, resulting in the cancellation of the subsequent flight. Reinerston publicly apologized to passengers whose travel plans were disrupted, describing herself as a, quote, biohazard, patient zero in her TikTok videos.

30:20Okay, here's the thing on that. I would no more want my name out there with that. Like, I would want to fly that shit under the radar. I mean, ever since the Delta shitter, before I fly, I'm always thinking, am I going to be the Delta shitter? Like, it's like that. So now this is going to be in my head. I would have hid my face. I would have put my purse over my face and wrapped it around my neck so no one would know my face. So I kind of, there's a part of me that gives her props for just saying, it was me. I'm sorry. It happened. My bad.

30:53Angie Sullivan:I mean, I think she's probably of the generation where they live their lives kind of online. And I give her props, too, that she just kind of like she made it go viral. And I read further in this article that United Airlines confirmed that it was true. She's not doing this to get clicks. Like it genuinely happened. It was genuinely her. And then she laughed at herself. So I think that part of it is kind of refreshing. I mean, she can't help it that she had food poisoning. That's what I was going to say. Like if you're in a situation like that, you just can't you can't help it. I mean, you're in there during landing.

31:25It must be bad.

31:26Angie Sullivan:OK, next up, I want Kylie to play a Walmart worker, quit her job over the store intercom. Play it. The managers fuck this company, fuck this position and fuck that big, lazy bitch, Chris Price. I fucking quit. A Louisiana Walmart employee by the name of Beth McGrath decided to quit. and she did it over the loudspeaker. Attention Walmart shoppers and associates. My name is Beth from Electronics. I've been working at Walmart for almost five years and I can say that everyone here is overworked and underpaid and customers poorly every day. Whenever we have a problem with it, we're told that we're replaceable.

32:06I'm tired of the constant gaslighting. This company treats their elderly associates like shit.

32:12Angie Sullivan:To Jared, our store manager, you're a pervert. I love her. I love her. That is like she has had it. She has had it. Jared is a pervert. And at the same time, how she's advocating. Walmart sucks. They treat their employees like shit, especially the elderly ones. Jared's a perv. And I have fucking had it. Fuck this place. I'm tired of y 'all gaslighting me. I think this woman deserves a profile and courage. I'd hire her on the spot to work at I've had it podcast. That is the energy that we need. She's woke AF fighting for the marginalized, standing up to Walmart. I love this woman so much. I do.

32:58Angie Sullivan:Jared, the pervert. I mean, I was all in before.

33:07Angie Sullivan:Kylie, what do you think about that? Well, pumps pulls herself together. I love her. My first job was at Walmart and that place does fucking suck. Yeah. And here's the thing, listener, about Walmart is they they pay their employees shit, total shit. And then their employees are on like food stamps or some sort of supplemental income. And then everybody browbeats them and they work at fucking Walmart. Yeah. And for 40 hours a week, Walmart won't pay them well. But we subsidize your taxpayer money subsidizes Walmart. Walmart is a welfare corporation. Because they don't pay their people enough. So they have to get food stamps, housing subsidies, something like that.

33:50Angie Sullivan:Instead of Walmart. And like they're so rich. There's like, I don't know, four or five heirs. Like when they do the list of the richest Americans, they all have their own separate line like in the top 20. Right. So if you put them all together as one big family, they're like the richest. But there's so many heirs to it that they're individually that rich. And they don't pay people well. and they're hiring pervy Jared. You had to see, I had just got myself. I know, I couldn't help it.

34:22Angie Sullivan:Jared, that pervert. He's a pervert. He's had it. That's going to be me at the homeowner's. And he's a MAGA. And the guy that controls the gate clickers is a pervert MAGA. Cankels McTaco Tits. And I'm going to stand up right next to you and go, yeah. Get him. All right, Kylie, do we have callers? We do have callers. Up first, I'm going to play one from Fran. I don't want to give her any more attention than she's already getting, but I've had it with Kim Davis. Okay, who does this bitch think she is to try to cancel out gay marriage? And she's been married four times to three different men. How the fuck do you marry the same man twice?

35:08Number one, that's dumb in itself. why didn't it work out the first time and why did you marry him again that's just stupid and also growing up in kentucky in the bible belt i don't want to hear shit about the sanctity of marriage from these hypocritical ass fake christians because i know y 'all are out here whoring around on your husbands and wives because i've seen it i know people who have done it and i don't care to spill names if they slide in my dms but anyway um i also like i know they're mad because these openly out and proud gays are openly out and proud while these fake ass hypocrites are hiding out in their closet watching gay porn behind their wives backs so you know who does she think she is fuck

35:56Angie Sullivan:you kim davis i love this woman that was perfect it was i couldn't have said it any better myself No. And the biggest message of this listener is as loud and as obnoxious as MAGA is. This caller from Kentucky pumps me and every single one of you out there listening. We all know there are way more of us that are not judgmental, not total hypocrites. Don't give a fuck. Marry who you want to. And we all know the Kim Davises of the world. Always. And here's the thing. She looks like my mom always called them bunheads. You know, my mom called them. Well, my mother called Pentecostals bunheads that wore the skirt that went below the knee.

36:47Angie Sullivan:And then they had the long hair that they could never cut that they kind of pulled back. Yeah. She has that bunhead affect. For sure. And so I'm wondering about like, is there a reach around with or some way to skirt? I would think that that's a pretty rigorous religion that divorce and stuff would be frowned upon. See, that was my first question when I saw her picture after like, so Kim has had four husbands and I haven't been laid in 750 ,000 days. Like that's, that's not good on me. But I mean, I was just like, she's Pentecostal. How does she have four divorces or three divorces, four husbands?

37:23She had kids. She had a baby by husband number whatever, three maybe while she was married to husband number one. Like this woman is she is not scared to fuck around with these men.

37:38Angie Sullivan:And think about how tragic this will be if her case makes it to the Supreme Court and And the Supreme Court, those six justices, are so depraved. Oh, Alita will beat off to it. He'll be like, oh, my God, getting ready to gay marriage. That they will deny so many people their rights to equality and to marriage for that woman, that just walking bunhead hypocrite. It's just so fucked up. And the fact that so many on the Supreme Court were minority appointments, meaning like, you know, the Bush didn't win the popular vote and he appointed, I think, Alito. Trump 1.0 didn't win the popular vote and he appointed, you know, two or three of those people.

38:30Angie Sullivan:And it's just – and they make these decisions that have such great impact on human rights and equality. It's really, really daunting. It's really sad. I call for that, just like the caller said, that hypocritical. And everybody knows all these loud megachurch people are so full of shit, and they're such hypocrites. And if they, their own personal lives aren't as deranged as Kim Davis's, their fellow church members, they know that their fellow church members are just as deranged, and they look the other way. And they're like, well, they ask God for forgiveness. And so it's fine now. I'm going to forgive too.

39:08Yep.

39:09Angie Sullivan:Come to Angie's Bible study. We'll talk about it there. With all the 900-year-old attendees. And Jared is a perv. Jared's coming. He's 750. Okay, up next we've got Kathy. Hi, Jen. Hi, HBIC. Hi. What's your name this week? Katie and your bitch, Seth. My name's Kathy, and I work in the healthcare industry. I'm a nurse. My God, please don't tell Josh. Do not give him my contact information. I am not about being his fucking concierge nurse. So I get enough, hey, so you're a nurse messages anyway. So here's my, here's my, I fucking had it. I have fucking had it with blanket emails for management. Look, God damn it.

39:57If I have fucked up and I have been giving IV push insulin instead of subcutaneous insulin and people are falling down right and left, dead as a fucking doorknob, that's a saying here in the South, dead as a fucking doorknob, then yes, I want you to come to me and say, hey, Kathy, you really screwed the pooch on this one. People are dying because you don't know what the fuck you're doing. I need you to either get your shit together or get the fuck out. That's what I need you to do, okay? What I don't need you to do is send an email to the whole team that says, we're going to have some mandatory education because we've had some incidences.

40:33We've got some opportunities. That's what they call them now. We don't call them problems anymore. We call them opportunities. We've got some opportunities for some education in medication administration. Do this mandatory education by said date or, you know, there will be repercussions. I fucking had it with blanket emails because I'm telling you, if you send me that email and it doesn't say, dear Kathy, you fucked up, I'm deleting it. I'm not looking at it. I'm assuming I am not the problem. So if I'm the problem, you need to come to me and fucking tell me I am the problem. I love you ladies as a blue dot in a very red county in purple North Carolina.

41:11I love you. Thank you so much. You guys have a lovely day. Fucking love her. Yeah, I love her. And it's so true. It's like I don't need to be abreast if everybody thinks, but I think this goes back to we have to lift everybody up all the time. there's no such thing as constructive criticism in the workplace we have a problem with how this is going instead of saying that we have an opportunity to learn i'm just like shut the fuck up go to the person that did it and say hey if you have a couple people doing it single them out like not everybody needs to go do all this shit i agree and i just think that if somebody

41:47Angie Sullivan:screws up the best path is you screwed this up here's what you did let's move past it please fix it and maybe it's not pretty and maybe the person feels a jolt of adrenaline but welcome to adulthood right that's i mean it's just and there's nothing worse than circle jerk email oh my gosh nothing i mean just i don't know the email what circle jerk zoom calls oh my god oh my god those are worse i'd rather have a circle jerk email pumps and i need to share with everybody that we have written a book. It's called Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. And believe it or not, pumps and I have not always been so rock solid.

42:30Angie Sullivan:And we talk about all of our trials, tribulations, most of all our fuck ups. Yes, because fuck ups are relatable and a part of the human experience. I have gotten so much feedback regarding the book that because of my situation with the religion and addiction and all that, that people relate to that. So I do think there's something to take away that's comforting about it because we've all been in very difficult situations and listener what we want you to do this is the it book for summer reading so please get your copy of life is a lazy susan of shit sandwiches and take a picture of yourself with the book in really great places and tag at i've had it podcast and we will share your images with our summer it book you can buy it in bookstores you can buy it in the link in our bio you can buy it at Target, Walmart, Amazon, etc.

43:22Angie Sullivan:All the retailers. Happy reading and happy summer.

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44:10I feel so much better knowing I'm not exposing myself and my kids to those unnecessary toxin and my laundry still comes out fresh and clean if you want a gentle or clean without harsh chemicals switch to earth breeze they're also backed by a 100 money back guarantee so basically you are trying it risk-free right now you can get 40 % off with your subscription at earthbreeze.com slash had it. That's earthbreeze.com slash had it. Okay, up next we've got Taveh. Good morning, ladies. I'm going to skip right past the goddamn pleasantries and jump right into the fucking hadits. And what I've had it with this week is the goddamn indoctrination of Christianity into this country, something that I even think has affected Jen.

45:03Oh, pumps is thinking to yourself what do you mean she's famously atheist well hold on to your goddamn life alert necklace pumps i want to know if you've ever been in a room had a sneeze and jen has trotted out a bless you bless you who the fuck is blessing you if god doesn't exist i fucking had it with this shit now i understand the history behind it no people thinking you lose your soul or a demon has possessed you well how come nobody's trotting out to bless you when you're fucking ripping ass were burping. Two arguably more demonic sounding bodily functions. And I've also had it with the fucking in God we trust on the currency.

45:38This country is going to hell in a handbasket. How about in good we trust? I fucking had it. Don't fucking piss me off.

45:45Angie Sullivan:I love him. I love that. That is the energy we need. That is. That is asshole island energy peak. All three callers so far. I do. He's 100 % right to call me out and I accept it. I have acquiesced and And I find myself saying, bless you. And then I have thought at the same time when I say it, am I capitulating to Christianity? And I've thought that a lot when I do it. So I appreciate the caller calling me out on that. And I don't know what to say beyond that. I'm open to suggestions in the comment section on YouTube. Will you guys please give Trump's making shit up. Gulf of America, can we make up something new to say instead of bless you?

46:29Angie Sullivan:Satan bless you.

46:33Illuminati. Beezlebab.

46:37Lucifer. 666. I'll be honest, you know, this tells you what a great Bible teacher I was. I didn't really put it together like, bless you, God's blessing you. I just thought it was like a courtesy, like to acknowledge.

46:49Angie Sullivan:I think that that, I think he's originally. Right, it's great. But as I think back on it, yes. But here's what I know about the In God We Trust on the currency and in the Pledge of Allegiance. I believe, Kylie, if you'll start giving this a goog, I believe that this happened in the 1950s. I think In God We Trust was 19, not on the money, but in the Pledge of Allegiance, 1953. Yeah. And so the country there in the 1950s, there was a push to make it more non-secular in the 1950s. And then we all know, you know, what starts happening then. Then when you get to Reagan, that's when shit really starts hitting the fan.

47:33Angie Sullivan:I mean, if we were to, I've seen these memes online, pinpoint the pinpoint, the very beginning starting point of when we found ourselves in this shit. And a lot of people put up a picture of Ronald Reagan. Really? Yeah, because he really championed for unregulated capitalism and he really browbeat poverty, really browbeat poor people. And he turned his back on the gay community all in the name of Jesus. And he did that Christian conservatism where it's like, I'm with Jesus, but I also am about making everybody a rich motherfucker and fuck those poor people. But he was handsome and an actor and he did it with a smile.

48:10Angie Sullivan:And he was like Republicans when they hear Reagan, they just like literally orgasm on the spot. It's like, oh, Reagan. But when you really look at him objectively and the damage he did to this country, it's brutal. It's brutal. Yeah. I always blame him for the war on poverty, like the demonizing people that are poor and trickle down economics not working. Yeah. Trickle down economics. That's a total racket. Kylie, did you hit the gook? I did it. In God We Trust first appeared on a silver dollar certificate in 1935 and then in it was passed in law to be included on currency in 1955. What about the pledge of allegiance?

48:51I'm just I'm pulling for 53. First version was written in 1885 and then official recognition by Congress in 1942. God damn it something happened in 53. I'm gonna find it.

49:05Angie Sullivan:Well I mean do you have any memory of it? Fuck you and the horse she read it on she's so ugly now that you're 51 and i'm 55 we're both in our 50s yeah we're in it yeah we're in it me mom you and me all right um next okay up next we've got carrie jennifer angie kylie i love you all so much i've had it and i mean really really had it with giant bows on the bald heads of newborn baby girls. Here we go. I mean, it looks fucking ridiculous. And what's really sad is I think it must be rooted in some desperate need to signal that your baby is a girl. Is it really your biggest fear that some stranger might mistake your girl for a boy?

49:54It's so stupid. The equivalent would be sticking false mustaches on baby boys. That's how ridiculous it is. It feels like there's this desperate need to feminize girls before they can even hold their own heads up. And it's not cute. It's borderline child abuse. I find even my most feminist friends posting pictures of their babies with these gigantic bows. And my act of rebellion is to not like those images. It's a pathological need to declare your baby's gender. It's 2025. Get over it.

50:29Angie Sullivan:I've fucking had it. Okay, what what what I'm interested in about this is i think she's irish i was gonna say that sounded irish and that she is this going on in ireland are they putting big bows on baby's heads in ireland because i think it had to have started here all that idea texas in particular i think probably and then it it it pains me that this has escalated over to there and i 100 agree with her on this there is a part of the whole patriarchal culture, and Pumps and I grew up around this, Pumps grew up in this, there is this need to project this princess syndrome on girls. You are helpless if you play.

51:17Angie Sullivan:Oh my God, I didn't realize it. If you play dumb, you get extra praise. Oh my God, how cute was that? She didn't get that. And put the bow on and really keep reminding that you are a girl. And in all of that stuff, there is a subconscious message that you are weaker and inferior, in my opinion. The women that I know that were raised in this and around this and the big bow culture, there is a definite like, oh my God, I'm a dinghy blonde. And you can see from years and years and years of being raised in patriarchal systems, that their default setting is to kind of defer back to that instead of, I've got this, I can handle it, like taking the bull by the horns.

52:08Angie Sullivan:And it's a real regional thing here, I think. I see it a lot with girls and grown women now that were raised in these systems, and then you see them putting the bows on their girls. and it's I think it's deeper than just the bow I agree with the caller and this I've always thought it was really weird yeah you've hated the bow always from jump I never did the round bow probably because I was too disorganized I probably would have if I would have thought I could handle it but I did try to get Emily's bow in and she hated it and you egged her on from jump yeah so but here's the deal she had this whole I remember Angie had Emily was the only girl so I have two boys she has two boys and a girl and we were always together all the time and the kids were little because it's really hard to raise kids and her husband's really fucked up at the time and so there was this i remember correctly you had like this thing like a hanger type thing and it went down yes and and you had all different colors of bows right on it and like either hung on the door on the wall somewhere i think it was on the door handle yeah that's i remember the door handle and so she would get emily and get her hair all done up and she would put the bow in it and emily And she'd put it, you put it like right here on top.

53:20Angie Sullivan:She had bad bangs. And she would pull it out and throw it at Angie. And I would say to Angie, she is going to be surrounded by gay men. And Angie at the time, good Christian girl teaching Bible study goes, no, she won't. She will not. How could you say that? And I'm like, spot it, got it. I know 100 % that your daughter is going to have multiple gay men as her best friends. And you should, you know, embrace it. Well, and she was offended. And then 10 years later, Emily starts the dance competitions. Pumps calls me and she goes, you're right. Emily loves gay men. Gay men love her. I'm eating crow.

54:06Angie Sullivan:You 100 % called it when she was two years old. She is knee deep into gay culture. The first thing she did when she started a new school is she's like, well, my first priority is to infiltrate the gays. She was like, I know if I find gay friends, I'm good. In college. Yeah, in grad school. All right. I think that's all we have for today. Pump, do you have anything else to share? I just would share that. I think that that was upper echelon calls. That had so much fun today. That was really fun. It's always my favorite. These were great. I concur. All right. Please, link in bio pinned to the link by our book, Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.

54:46Angie Sullivan:For those of you listeners that are like transitioning from the way your parents wanted you to be and the way your hometown wanted you to be, and you see all this stuff with Trump and you think, this is screwed up. I'm not for this. my parents are, all of my friends from my hometown are. Read the book because I'm telling you, I personally believe that Pumps' story is helpful. And I think there's a lot of Americans going through that right now that were raised and told you have to be a certain way. And then you see this depravity and you see the rights being taken away from people and you see the dehumanization and you're questioning the very foundations of everything that you were taught.

55:26Angie Sullivan:Pumps has answers and life is a lazy season of shit sandwiches. well, she has the journey for sure. I don't know answers, but I mean, trying, working on it. I think having, I think sometimes answers are knowing you're not alone. Right. Relatability. I do. Yeah, no, I agree with that. I do. I think, I think I remember when Josh was, you know, in his addiction and knowing that other people were going through it and they started to explain something that I was feeling and it was verbatim exactly the way I was feeling. I was like, oh, okay. There was a comfort to that. Huge comfort. No, I completely agree with that.

56:05And we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.

56:16Angie Sullivan:Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called iHip News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw! That's it. That's, that's, caw-caw!

56:58Angie Sullivan:That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.