Gay's Anatomy

0:07Jennifer:All right, ready, one, two, three, Patriots, Gay-Triots, They-Triots, Black-Triots, Brown-Triots, Pumps is on vacation and Josh Welch is here to tell all of MAGA, every single last one of you to do what? Fuck off, fuck off. You nailed it. That's so good. I'm doing better, Pumps. I'm trying really hard, Pumps. All right. What have you had it with? I think I'm going to continue my theme of European grievances for one more day. Okay. And I've got two. And both of these are going to sound familiar to you. The first is in Italy, restaurants like to serve your drinks with ice. And I drink Coke. I'm just a straight up Coca-Cola drinker.

0:57And so with every meal, I order a Coke. and they like to bring you a glass with ice. Then they like to pour the Coke into the glass. And in Italy, it's real humid and the ice melts the Coke and dilutes it. So I've had it with the restaurant not asking, would you like us to pour the Coke into the glass of ice? And so what I do is I preemptively tell the waiter, hey, I just want a Coke in a bottle. I don't need a glass. I don't need ice. Well, what that does is it then affects the flow of the orders for everybody else. Dylan drinks a Coke occasionally. Sydney, his girlfriend, drinks a Coke occasionally.

1:37And then the waiter assumes that they don't want a glass with ice and a lemon, and they do. And so then it's become this disruptive thing that we all talk about in which I get hazed at every meal because I'm the one that starts this thing. So that's number one. That's the first grievance is that the restaurant should not pour my Coke automatically into the ice in the glass with a lemon because it dilutes it. Number two is when you use the restroom, and I hate to stay on this pooping topic, but when you use the restroom in Europe, some of the stalls for toilet paper, they give you these little squares.

2:16And I don't think I could even blow my nose with one of the squares. I really don't much less wipe my ass. And so what happens is I have to pull down 15 to 20 squares in order just to have enough paper to wipe. And I'm not trying to get too graphic about this. We've been through this the last episode with all my stuff. But it becomes tiresome having to do that. The squares are like this wide like that, and they're paper thin, and there's just no meaningful wipe that you're going to get with just one or even two or three. So then you have to get five or six or seven, and then you have to do that multiple times.

3:04And depending on the situation, it takes 15, 20 minutes. And so when I casually exit the restaurant to go use the restroom and people think, well, why is Josh gone for 20, 25 minutes? That's why, because I'm battling these squares in the bathroom. So those are to continue the theme of European somewhat poop related grievances. Those are my two grievances for the show, for the episode. Thank you for sharing. I've had it with Josh in Europe.

3:37Jennifer:um bucking the system here's an example we all sit down to order a drink and sometimes i like an orange san pellegrino or as they say it in italy aranciata and i like mine with ice and an orange slice in it and they bring it and they set the glass down and the san pellegrino down where I disagree with Josh is I have the option to pour mine. And so one of our last meals in Italy, they brought the food, the drinks over and they put, they put Josh's Coke bottle down first and then they put the glass down and Josh immediately started reacting. He went and I went, don't say a fucking word because I'm just like, just leave the glass right there.

4:24Jennifer:Just leave it and just drink out of the bottle. But he gets on these things with ordering that are so psychotic. Like I remember one time when we were, we'd probably only been together like a year and we go to this Mexican restaurant and this should have been it. This should have been it for me right here. He sits down and the waiter comes over and Josh is like, I'll have a Coke and chips and salsa, no onions in the salsa. And the guy just like looks at him like just like, and I was like, please disregard that just bring the salsa. Because that moment has if I would have listened to my inner instinct right there.

5:08Jennifer:Something similar to that has happened almost every meal we've ever had. There's no world in which Josh can just sit down at a restaurant and not think How can I fuck with people that are servicing this? I like how you say that the removal of onions from the salsa should have been it, but not the second, third, or fourth, or even fifth rehab. It was the salsa and the onions, by God. That's what I should have known. But I think that was before. I think that would have, if I just would have listened there, then I could have saved myself all of the ensuing family weeks past that. All right, Kylie.

5:53Jennifer:Hi. Hi. I have a banger of a review for you, Jen. And Josh, you may know about this. So in a past episode, Jen, you've told a story about a guy who does like handstands and all this bullshit grandstanding at the gym. Oh, yeah, yeah. Someone's chimed in with some information. It says the handstand clapper is my ex. Five stars. First and foremost, Kylie is a national treasure. That one's important. Secondly, after months of backdoor channels of reconnaissance, I'm finally 99 % positive that the handstand clapper at Jennifer's gym is my ex-boyfriend. And yes, he has his insufferable in person as he is doing handstands in the middle of a gym floor.

6:31Jennifer:He's also an ultra Zionist, if that helps. I want to thank these three girls for being the cup of energy I need these days when the news is constantly so bad. Just hearing you call them as you see them makes me literally chortle down the streets of New York. So keep at it, girls. The handstand guy. I need a little bit of background. Okay. So I go in to train one day with Emily. I'm doing all the exercise that she's having me do. And there's a guy upstairs part of our gym. and he is a large guy not fat large but like i would say like six four ish okay you know pretty big boned guy like a significant not a slight person and he's going up in like full full-blown handstands by himself and then he's like clapping his legs together and he's doing all of this it was a performance because i i just couldn't ever think that anything he was doing was exercise or that that was the appropriate venue to do it.

7:34Jennifer:Like he wasn't at the gymnastics arena. He was at the gym with all the weight machines around. And so I spoke about it on the podcast about his performance at the gym. Theatrics. Yeah. It seems like it's inappropriate to be doing all of that and working out. And so then there's this person claims that this, this guy is his ex is that right yep her ex i think it's a head david david oh okay okay this is uh juicy right here it is it is juicy a gay treat a gay treat delivering i love this the gay treat heard the story and the gay treat is like i'm 99 positive this is my ex and fuck him do you know how amazing that is if you have an ex that you don't like and you're listening to your favorite podcast and they're racking your ex.

8:27Jennifer:That's so good. So satisfying. I want you to point this out next time we work out. I want to, I want to see this person. I haven't seen him since it was like a Saturday or a Sunday. And it was like, Josh, he got into these handstands and then he just to make sure everybody kind of saw it, but just to make sure everybody saw it, he started clapping his feet and his legs together. that was making like this loud noise. There's just, you know, there's just a whole episode that you can do on gym etiquette, gym behavior, gym grievances. There's just a, the gym, it's kind of like a restaurant. You know, there's just, it's its own minefield of shit that goes on.

9:06I've got all sorts of complaints and grievances. I can tee up for us next time.

9:10Jennifer:Okay. All right. One more review. Five stars, unfiltered, unbothered, and unapologetically. Aglo writes, The I've Had It podcast is the only show that can talk about heavy political chaos and still make me laugh like I'm sitting in the back row of a messy family reunion. Their flavor is unmatched. They break down complicated issues with jokes, side eyes, and the kind of honesty you only get from people who are truly over it. If political stress had a comedy club, this podcast would be headlining. That's so nice. I think that's kudos to you, to Pops, and to Kylie. and the whole team, right? You guys do an amazing job of just, one of the things I see that people feel good when they listen to the show or watch the show, they feel good and they step away with some laughter and joy.

10:01And you're talking about these just horrific topics day in and day out with Trump and the corruption and the meanness. And still you're able to smile about it and put smiles on other people's faces. And I think that's just a testament to your whole team. And that's the sweetest thing I'll probably say all day today.

10:18Jennifer:Oh, that's sweet, Josh. All right, Kylie, let's do voice memos. Okay, first we've got Ethan. Love you guys. It's Ethan. I've been on the podcast before, like memo-wise. I have had it with email terrorism as well, Jennifer. I am so beyond irritated. Stop sending me emails. I got your product a year ago now. I was on a subscription for only a couple months. And now I have gotten an email every day from Spoiled Child saying, Please rate our product. Oh, try this for free. Try this. Try this. Babe, I unsubscribed for a reason. I'm about to spoil your ass in about two minutes. I'm about to round kick your motherfucking face.

11:10please stop sending me emails at this point I don't even want an email I give up I'm going to

11:18Jennifer:delete every email account that I have and I'm you know I'm just gonna go off the radar because fuck this I can't stand it every day every day it is trench warfare for me inside the email box But let me tell you, Ethan, what happened to me yesterday. I was on the internet and I had a downtime in between filming. And I was like targeted, advertised these cute like drawstring jeans. And I was like, those are pretty cute. I think I'm going to buy them. So I do an add to cart, Apple Pay situation, you know, in my spare time. And I felt really good about the purchase. much to my surprise later that night i received a text message from the company and it's like hey if you would like to come into the store blah blah blah nowhere during this purchase did i give my phone number but this the privacy i want my privacy back as a consumer i want to be able to anonymously purchase shit.

12:27Jennifer:I don't want you to call me, text me. I don't want to do a survey. I don't want to be friends. I don't want to be a member of your club. I don't want 10 % off. I don't want any of it. I want anonymous purchasing back. It drives me fucking crazy. Yeah. And, and I have to start telling, uh, stores and I run into this twice a day, the place that I love to get workout smoothies, uh, they want my cell number because then I get the discount. The place where we get the cupcakes. They're always harassing me for my number. It's too much. And then another thing that these stores do is when you do sign up for something, you can unsubscribe, but you're only unsubscribing to one thing.

13:11They have like 10 things like solicitation and emails or updates or breaking news, whatever. There's like 10 things. And so you have to be very careful that you unsubscribe from all. You can't just because otherwise you're going to have to unsubscribe to each one of their categories of emails that they send out daily. And then of course, you and I's favorite is when you get the email from them that you've unsubscribed from them. You know, they do that just as kind of a kiss of...

13:39Jennifer:We're sorry to see you go. Yeah, exactly. We notice you unsubscribed and we're sorry to see you go. And I'm like, you just confirmed i made the right decision because i really really hated you enough to unsubscribe and now i hate you even more because you do not respect boundaries corporate america is with all of this i think there's going to be a backlash and i think it starts here on i've had a podcast and i think we need to start promoting anonymous purchases like back in the day you just went into a store you plopped down what you needed on the counter you purchased and then that was the end of it.

14:14Jennifer:There was no phone number. I was, Josh, when we were in London, I went and I bought this shirt and this lady said, I need your email to ring you up. And I said, I don't want to give my email. She said, well, I'm going to have to have your email. I said, I'm just, I just want to purchase this anonymously. I would like to, I would like to purchase this anonymously. And she looked at me, I'm sure she's thinking these fucking Americans. I'm sure she just thought, but that's what I'm going to start doing. And I want every viewer to do it too. If we all do it together. We need to force these corporations to have an anonymous purchase option because I want to be able to purchase anonymously.

14:49Jennifer:I don't want these fucking freaks, these tech oligarchs, these corporate CEOs that don't pay their workers enough. I don't want them knowing my buying history. That's my, those are my bad choices. Those are my impulsive retail therapy things. And I want to live with those. It's like, you don't want your drug dealer keeping track of all the shit you did. I don't want these people who I, who I, I know you don't, I don't want these people who I think are actually worse than drug dealers, these corporate CEOs that exploit their labor. I don't want them having my purchase history. And then, and then when they, uh, when they tell you that, well, if you give us that, you can receive a discount.

15:30I always say I would pay more not to have to give it. So charge me more because I'm not giving you my information. Um, it's, it's kind of like the Welch's.

15:43Jennifer:Yeah. This, this stops with the Welch's and now the I hipsters, I hipsters, triots. We all have to bring back anonymous purchasing. Here's to give cell phone. I also think it's an act of resistance because all of these tech oligarchs, they're the ones who want all of our shit. They're the one, they're the ones who want, you know, they're all the don't tread on me one moment. Now they want everybody's shit. And I think my purchase history, all of my horrible, horrible purchases that I made. Awful. Need to remain private. Yeah, I agree 100%. All right, at some point, we've all struggled with our weight.

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19:22Jennifer:Okay, Kylie, who's next? Okay, up next we've got Kelly. All right, Kelly G here from Canada, Toronto, eh? And I love your show. I am gay AF and I guess lesbian. But watching your podcast show and there's an episode with Katie Miller who is talking about Grace Anatomy and how it just keeps getting gayer and gayer and gayer. and then she talks about how it's corrupted America. Well, I think she probably was watching it and in the throes of being excited and turned on by all of this and then realized, oh my God, I am supposed to be a Christian. I need to repent. I know, I'm going to put this on my podcast and just say how much I hate it because it's probably internalized homophobia.

20:24Jennifer:Anyway, I adore you guys. Keep at it. But I have had it with all these fucking losers in the MAGA universe. I love Kelly G, the Canadian leslie. Let's treat it. I love it. I agree with you. I mean, here's the thing that's so hilarious about Katie Miller. Here's the thing that's so hilarious about Republicans in general right this very, very fucking second. they have everything everything you got the house you got the senate you got the supreme court you got the presidency you've got all of the news channels you have all of the corporations you have all of the oligarchs you control fucking everything and you're still miserable and katie miller is so miserable if we dive into the psychology that she has a baby and she posts it like breeding is the best thing in the world this i can't tell you how much joy i feel four days later that tweet is followed up by i've been binge watching gray's anatomy first they rolled out a gay character then it was a black gay character then it was a lesbian then it was a chinese lesbian then they were in a wheelchair and she just unraveling over all this shit katie i think you're just not happy and i think despite your husband working for a president that controls everything.

21:42Jennifer:I don't think you and Stephen Miller are ever going to be happy. Number one, I think Stephen Miller is just inherently ugly inside and out. Both of you know it. Everybody on Grey's Anatomy is a lot hotter than Stephen Miller and nobody on Grey's Anatomy would ever fuck Stephen Miller. But Katie Miller, you do. And all of us out here in the world see that for what that is. You do it on purpose. You married him on purpose. You breed with him on purpose. You I just I don't know how you're going to fix it, Katie, but we all like the Grey's Anatomy. We like queer people. We like black people, immigrants, et cetera.

22:18Jennifer:But I just think I think it's just pathetic how these Republicans are just so miserable all the time. There seems to be a rather simple solution to this problem.

22:31And I don't know if this has been discussed or not, but she obviously could change the channel. and not watch it. Isn't that a possibility? When I see all of this Trump conservative bullshit, even if it's a sporting event where they're speaking about Trump or something, I don't rant about it on my social media page. I don't go to Instagram and say, God damn, I had to listen to this or that because of all this MAGA bullshit and all these blind Christian idiots. I fucking hate them. They're all pieces of shit. I don't do that. Guess what I do? I change the channel. It's like, hey, I'm not going to listen to another white Christian dumb fuck lie to me about something.

23:16I'm going to choose to change the channel.

23:19Jennifer:But you know, Josh, it's a really good point, and I agree with you, but that's the difference between liberals and conservatives. We genuinely will not sit and watch something we don't enjoy because we believe in something bigger. We believe in helping promote universal human rights and helping make the world more just and great. Katie Miller and Stephen Miller are so emotionally stunted, so emotionally and psychologically damaged that that's all they have is hating people. That's it. The option of changing the channel. I mean, she's like, are you kidding me? I think she said, Kylie, wasn't she watched like six seasons or something?

24:02Jennifer:Yeah, like 20 episodes a season. I'm talking like 50, 60, 70 hours of television that this woman watched. But I agree with you, but that's not something conservatives have, the ability to click off, especially when it comes to hating marginalized people. Like if she can have if she can have 70 hours of reasons to hate lesbians, she's going to. But I also think Kelly G here. Why does she care so much? But I also think, you know, Katie Miller is probably, I bet that even if she is straight, she has to fuck Stephen Miller. And I'm sure when she sees these hot lesbians on Grey's Anatomy, she's like, hmm, that really looks a lot better.

24:47Jennifer:That's a lot better option. People in the MAGA circle, too, they have to have someone to hate on. Otherwise, their platform is flat. It has nothing. So they have to have this boogeyman of sorts. You see that all the time. Because without that, they have nothing to say, right? I mean, they have no policy. None. They're trying to dumb down people. So they have to hate on someone to get their coalition of people to get together to agree on something. Because they can't do it on policy. And that's one of the basic reasons why they do that. All right, Kylie, who's next? If I may, just on the subject, I just feel like it's important.

25:26Jennifer:Yeah. I, as a lesbian, I have to watch a lot of straight sex, straight romance on TV because that's the mainstream. Right. I've never once watched a show with a straight relationship and had a little bit of straight panic. It just doesn't happen. It hasn't turned me straight yet. I watch it all day, every day. So for her to be so triggered when these people are triggered, it says something because straight stuff doesn't trigger me. It's a really good point. Like if you, if you said, Hey, you guys, I just watched, uh, what it was at the viral summer show, love story, the JFK Jr. Yeah. Which is all straight shit.

26:05Jennifer:Right. And I'm just telling you at first they started straight kissing. Then they started straight this, then they started straight fighting. Then they straight got back together and then they had makeup, straight makeup, sex, and I've had it. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's a really good point, Kylie. Yeah. Well, and Kylie, you're around Jennifer and I too, and you don't have any sort of straight. Sometimes that does give me some. yeah it's hard not that's fair yeah that's fair that's a different level i mean when you're as hot as josh and me and such beacons of healthy relationships i could see how people could panic yeah it does um all right up next we've got lots of miles hi here i don't even know how to tell you what i've had it with without getting so fucking homicidal that my neighbors wonder if they need to call the police, but here's what I've had it with.