Million Dollar Mommy Issues

0:02So are we supposed to start the podcast? ready okay i forgot what i was supposed to do

0:18give me a p give me a u give me an m p s pups pups she's the best thank you here's what's so weird about that Freudian slip that just happened for the last two days running in my head have been fight songs from my high school chance as a cheerleader. So the fact that I just did ready, okay, I don't know what I don't know why I'm thinking, but I was sitting here right before we started recording, thinking about that I was singing the school fight song in my head. This is crazy. Is this? Kylie, go and put yourself in. Is this? This is this what we hear from people like on their deathbeds? Yeah, they have these memory memories of their youth.

1:03You were a big cheerleader weren't you pumps all american hyper extended toe touch yes my claim coming queen yeah when when my nana was uh she died with really bad alzheimer's she didn't know who i was but she could remember her high school time so i feel like we're getting close you're reliving the glory days towards the end of your life that's what's happening to me yeah yeah that's crazy it is gonna be hard to tell it's gonna be hard to know if pumps ever fully does get dementia that true words have never been fucking spoken right there they are just never been because sometimes I'm just like should I call the doctor I mean this is fucking weird and then I'll ask a girlfriend that's my just like I know that happens to me all the time I'm like okay maybe but I did appreciate when I was really talking about am I worried a lot of people in the comments were like no no no as long as you think you have it you probably don't so that at least I'm covered for another year, I'd say before the absolute gong has to go off and ushered off the stage.

2:06All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, this happened to me yesterday and you are going to be as furious as I am, I suspect. So I go on to my wireless service to check a couple things and it tells me all these new offers that are available. I don't want any of the offers, but I'm like, what does that mean? Maybe I do want it. So I look at it and like, no, I don't want that. I don't want that. I don't want that. One hour, within one hour, like with me exiting the site, it was within one hour, I got six phone calls from my wireless provider. and I was just like are you fucking kidding me so I call the number back because it tells me it's from my wireless right so I call him back and I'm like why does somebody keep calling me from here they're like well we know that you were looking at these uh upgrades and we just wanted to know if we could help you with that I'm like no no no no no I didn't want the upgrades because I didn't take it a step further and go in and ask for the upgrades.

3:13And I don't want you to call me about upgrades that I don't want. Furthermore, it makes me not even want to have you as the wireless provider. And then I told her, I said, I've had it with that. I know it's not you. This is your job to do this. But I found that to be one of the more egregious, just bang, bang, bang, the customer capitalism that I've ever seen. Well, you're looking at that was private. That was you, that was your privacy. Yeah. This is like when I go on Zillow to look at the inside of somebody's house, it's private. That is a private psychosis moment where I'm like, that looks like a cool house.

3:54I wonder what it looks like on the inside or she sure is a big twat. I wonder what her decorating taste is. So I pull up Zillow and then it has all these pictures, right? It's a private psychotic moment that I'm having. And then they start emailing me about it. And I'm like, what is happening? But no, that would infuriate me. That would absolutely, you know, the issues I have with the forced capitalism. It's just, if I want to buy something, I will buy it and it will be my decision. And then I don't want to talk about it ever again. I don't want to take a survey about it. I don't want you to email about it.

4:30I don't want to be a member of your club. I don't want the 10 % discount because I will forego the 10 % discount to never have to fucking talk to you again. I will pay the 10 % extra. But they still, even if you turn away the discount, they still harass you. The fact that you were privately looking to see if maybe an upgrade was the right choice for you and you declined, and then they followed up on your private clicking. This is so maddening. I'm so by proxy mad for you. Thank you. I knew you would be because I was just like, it has gone too far. It's private. It's too far. It's private. I do want to say I still sometimes because of your wonderful advice about peeking into people's houses on Zillow, which I'd never, I thought that was brilliant.

5:26Yeah, I've done it a couple of times. Yeah. And then does Zillow hawk you out nonstop about it? Well, here's the thing. For whatever reason, my face ID will trigger my oldest son's account. I guess we look enough alike. And so I do it.

5:46I don't think he has any idea. But it's like, do you want to do this? Are you so and so? And I'm like, yeah. And I get in there and do it. So he probably gets a ton of them and doesn't know why. then I'm not going to tell. Oh, that's fabulous. Isn't that great? Yeah. Especially your oldest son. Cause he's always giving you shit. He's always playing. I mean, just tortures you every day. So I love that you're secretly torturing his inbox. That's I mean, yeah. And I got to because I don't have a Facebook account, but if I want to creep on Facebook, it always asks me him and the face ID works and I just go and cruise.

6:23Oh my God. That's so great. Oh, I love that for you. Okay. Um, I've had it with the bots in our YouTube comment section. It is, I'm not going to say that what the bot's name is, but it's just like this huge, sophisticated bot organization that when Kylie posts our videos and they, I mean, it's like 50, 100, 200 comments and I hate it. I think that YouTube needs to do a better job getting rid of these bots. I think that in general, when I go to my Instagram, which is the main social media that I check, if I'm going viral on Fox or if I'm going viral on libs of TikTok, I noticed that a lot of people call me a C-U-N-T, which I'm like, thank you.

7:13That's a pretty, I think it's a pretty boss bitch insult, right? I'm like, out of all the insults being called a cunt, I'm like, I'll take it. Because you have to, you know, there's a savviness that comes with that, right? It's not just a generic pedestrian bitch. It's elevated. There's more feeling in that, right? So I go and look at the people that are calling me this and on their profiles, it's like they're completely anonymous bots. And so I just think if I owned a social media company, I would say it's fine. If you want to shit talk fair, you have to verify your identity. You cannot have a locked account.

7:50And on your profile picture, it has to be your face. If you're going to shit talk, own it. Don't be a pussy that hides behind some bullshit avatar. And then a lot of them are like, God first, wife second mom third i i am fourth whatever that stupid shit isn't all that crazy christian shit um own it i want to i want to see i want to if you're going to come onto my page which is fair it's unlocked i'm a public figure yeah troll me all you want to i'm a big girl call me a cunt call me a twat whatever i welcome it i welcome it but don't be a coward don't be a coward unlock If you're going to shit talk online, have the balls to unlock and show your face and your feed appropriately.

8:38Otherwise, you're a chicken shit coward. And guess what the majority, guess what all of these people are? MAGA. All of them. The most chicken shit coward political movement on the planet. These are soft, titty baby, snowflake crybabies that can't even go shit talk me and stand by it with their own identity. What a bunch of pussies. It's the biggest bunch of pussies. It takes me back to ICE agents covering their face, the white supremacists when they march, they cover their face. and this bot thing is the anonymous letter of earlier years now on steroids on a public forum and i'm with you shit talk all you want but put your fucking name on it yeah i mean we shit talk all day and our faces are right here yeah you can just go to our youtube channel hi i'm jennifer welch and i like to shit talk maggot because i think every single one of you suck i think you're liars i think you christian signal i think being scared of drag queens and books shows what pussies you are my name is jennifer welch again in case welcome fox producers welcome i think i get a gaydar ping from jesse waters my name is jennifer welch i just said i think greg gutfeld could go on ozempic my name is jennifer welch greg gutfeld get on ozempic you sit there talk about how ugly you think angie and i are i saw a picture of you on the internet with no shirt on it's not good yeah it's not good all right oh go ahead no you go i was just gonna say If we're going to throw in who needs to go on a Zempick at Fox News, you cannot leave out Sean Hannity.

10:17He looks like he's going to explode. Bubble tick city. I mean, just bubble tick. It was just maxed out. You know what I think? I think he's a total alky. You can just see it. For sure. It's just, it's puffedilly alcohol. Alcohol is the worst. You know, they just, it's just like this. It's like a slow, somebody hooks an air pump up to their ass and it's just slow every couple of years. and they just slowly look worse. Whereas, I mean, if I was going to be an addict, I'd be like, let's just go crack. Let's just take me down as quickly as possible. Then I'd Hunter Biden it and get full-blown recovery.

10:52And then, you know, probably get a little Botox, maybe laser my face a little bit and then go back out again. He looks pretty good, Hunter. Well, you know, I think so. Kylie was giving me shit about it. So, you know, I think so. All right, welcome to I've Had It. My name is Jennifer Welch and I think Fox News sucks. My name is Angie Sullivan. I too think Fox News sucks. I also think Donald Trump fucking sucks. And in his spare time, thinks about sucking dick. That's my opinion. I'm Angie. Thank you for sharing, Angie. Thank you so much. Kylie, would you like to share your name, identity, and grievance?

11:31I'm Kylie. What are your pronouns? They're she, her. Suck it, Fox producers. I'm she, her as well. I'm she, her. snowflake you fucking snowflake pieces of shit pronouns piss you off what a bunch of pussies except ai shouldn't have pronouns that's right ai should be an it um i actually have a brag i at canna cook christian summer camp got the i am third award what is really what is that that's a big deal in the christian community it was a big deal big deal and you put others before you but it goes god first so you put god first others your third yeah okay

12:13whatever i am first god is last last for me is my fave my name is jennifer welch suck on that lips of tiktok you fucking pussies show your names show your faces um i am third i I mean, that's just, here's the thing about that. I'm not going to go off on a huge religious thing. I just want to say this. How insecure is God, but he has to be first all the time. If my adult kids were like, mom, you're first, you're first. I'd be like, you're a loser. Focus on yourself and your wife. Do not put me first. I raised you for God's sake. She were a titty baby freak show. That is so weird that he wants grown ass people to put him first.

13:00What kind of insecurity is that? He wanted a, like a 14 year old girl to put him first at the time. Weird. Yeah. It's weird shit. Okay. What else do you have? Okay. I've got a review. Kylie has, I, Kylie slash I am third. I am third. She, she, her, she, her, her third. This is from Maddie Berger. And I actually think it was supposed to be a five-star review. So we'll decide when we read it. It says, listen with extreme caution. And they say,

13:56With the terror, I would inadvertently crash or veer off a cliff. In those blood-curdling moments, I was forced with a Sophie's choice like never before. Do I continue on with the pod, laughing and chortling to near certain depths, or do I hit pause, play some classical music, regulate my nerves, and continue on into the California night? Well, ladies, I love to tell my harrowing tale as I live to tell my harrowing tale, as I literally had to turn the show off to continue on, finding myself still cracking up over a haunting bassoon number on the classical station i got to my destination safely and like crack finished the pod in the safety of my own home listen with caution this pod could kill you and those you love but a one star the one star maybe she wanted it to get noticed out of caution it got my attention right so maybe that was the intention maddie burger i mean we're at least three stars I agree sometimes five stars stretching it, but I mean, three to four is totally we've earned.

14:59Yeah. I would go Maddie. I, I, I, I, I take offense to that one star. If it's a MAGA person that's just going on there to one star just to be hateful, anonymous, then I'm like, okay, I'm sure that made you feel better. It still won't fix you, but fine. But Maddie, I feel like she enjoyed us. I feel like we at least need four. I think we're all at least a one star each. And so that's three stars. Minimum. Exactly. Just, just average it out together. Okay. I will say this, this is, this happened over the weekend. So I was watching a clip of Jennifer that came up on social media, which you do have great comedic timing, timing always have.

15:41And I am just busting out laughing at it. Like I've never met her. I've never seen her. And so my girlfriend that I was with was like, what are you laughing about? And I was like, this clip with Jennifer, she's like, did you not know she said it? And I'm like, yeah, but we say so much and it happens in the moment and I'm not paying, you know, I'm kind of paying attention and I laugh in the moment, but then I see it outside of that. And I was busting out laughing. I was almost embarrassed. I was laughing so hard, but it was so funny. It was the cracker barrel thing. And I'm just like, and I do that at the live shows when Kylie will put a clip on that.

16:19I'm like, I didn't even remember that happened. And I laughed my ass off. So I agree with the comedic timing. That's a long way to say that. For all the parents out there with teenagers, we know you're already trying to keep a million different things under control. Cash App is here to help make sure your teen's money, most importantly, their spending, isn't adding to that craziness. with Cash App available to teens age 13 to 17 with sponsorship by an eligible parent or guardian. Every transaction triggers a real-time notification for you to see, empowering your teen to practice independence while giving you a peace of mind by keeping track of their spending.

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20:50There's also an app and a browser extension if you want to make it even easier. No account needed, totally free. Start saving money with dupe.com today. Let's get into some new stories. All right, so Ryan writes here our producer put this story together apparently even free markets have its limits so remember this capitalism can regulate stupidity um the daily beast is reporting pop this up a new york sculptor is furious after spending a hundred thousand dollars of his own money on a life-size statue of charlie kirk only to find nobody wants to buy it here's more from the article popped this up.

21:38Sergio Ferniari hoped the statue of the slain far-right activist, which he hoped to see erected in Times Square, would raise millions. Instead, he has been flooded with messages from people threatening to urinate on it. He also broke his foot tripping over tape in his studio. Is it cursed? Maybe. I don't know, he told the Guardian. uh for nari also told the guardian that he wasn't personally a fan of charlie kirk he was just trying to make money by selling the statue to maga uh for nari's idea to put the statue in times square lit the internet on fire and so let's read some of these responses to what people posted on the world wide web pop this up at the end of the day he became who he hated the most a person for those of you listening the statue he's bronze that's good okay here's bricks and he reposted it and he put the new gender neutral bathroom just dropped.

22:56And then Guar Alago posted the following, smart move going closed mouth. Would have spent years getting the gums to teeth ratio just right.

23:11The artist shared more about what inspired the project. Let's pop this up. Pernari, an Italian artist, had hoped wealthy donors would step up to cover his$100 ,000 in materials and labor, but none did. And his fundraiser, which aimed to raise $150 ,000, has crawled to under$8 ,000. I was thinking that it was going to resonate with the world, with whoever, but man, people are strange out there, he said, meaning like nobody is really coming up with support, especially financial support. So far, I've spent all my money on this. Funari said he built the statue to glorify and to exercise the First Amendment.

23:53But he also cited supporting Kirk's widow, Erica, and wanting to commemorate a person. Here's the thing. This is exactly the way the people that love Charlie Kirk are treating his death. They're not going to buy the statue. erica kirk his very own wife is off grifting off of his death um in a real bizarre tour where yesterday or i mean over the last couple of weeks she announced that she is at war she's a happy warrior against trans people and muslims which what the fuck does that even mean that's so stupid like go be a mother go be a person you're not in some imaginary war with trans people trans people don't like you.

24:37All right. And then of course, none of these people that, oh, we love Charlie and we're going to have a firework, Las Vegas funeral for him. Of course, none of them are going to pony up and buy this statue. Of course, it means nothing. Just like when Rush Limbaugh died, nobody gave a shit. Nobody cared. These are not people that leave you thinking, oh, you know, that person really left a good imprint on me. That person really left their fingerprints on this earth and promoted goodness and improved me and the world at large. No, he was a bigot. He was a homophobe. He was a grifter. And just because he dies doesn't mean we all have to be like, oh my God, Charlie Kirk, especially considering none of the people around him are even talking about what killed him, which is gun control.

25:28None of them want to stop that. because nobody even cares about any of this shit. They're all nihilists, stupid nihilists. You know what's interesting about this is the, first of all, I'm like, why wouldn't Turning Point USA buy it? Because like you said - They're broke. They're broke. Boy Wonder, who made the money, died of gun control, which he fought for people to have that right. And then the investor died of COVID. And that's why Erica's running around all dolled up slash hookered up, acting like a nut, picking a war with trans people and Muslims, which none of them even want to fight her.

26:12They're like, OK, if we're going to fight some war, can you at least give us a worthy opponent, not this freak show? I'm sure trans people are like, yeah, let's pony up. But we're not fighting Erica Kirk. I mean, how beneath them to stoop to the level of the Erica Kirk and the turning point people. they're broke okay well i you know which that just makes me so happy but this is just a classic example of this guy thought he and rightly so he observed the maga faithful and he thought these fuckers will buy anything any grift that comes up they're all in they're still buying meme coins and you know what are the ones that nft cards that they think are real and they're going to come in their mailbox trumpy trout like he's he's looking at the market thinking these people will fucking buy anything and then he makes it with his own money can't sell it and then he's like i just wanted to commit uh commemorate charlie kirk no you didn't you wanted to make a bunch of money which you know you you bought into something thinking that they would grift they didn't sorry for you but let's not put lipstick on a pig now.

27:24Actually, I do think it would be kind of fun if we were in Times Square where the statue is to put lipstick on it. I think that could be really fun. That would be brilliant. Right? I actually think that could be a fun field trip for us here at I've had it. All right, moving along to the next story. The Wall Street Journal has introduced us to a new parenting trend called CEO parenting. Before I go into this, I want to just historically kind of tell you all where we are. We're in late stage Versailles right now. And this is where the French public was really fucking mad at King Louis and Marie Antoinette for the way they acted while everybody else was hungry and not living a respectable life because of the greed of the ruling class.

28:12That's where we are in history right now as Americans. So the Wall Street Journal rolled out this story. When one nanny isn't enough, CEO parents hire a whole team. One nanny isn't cutting it anymore. Some parents are spending upward of$250 ,000 on their teams for their children. Luxury services offer potty training, baby chefs, and bike riding lessons. Mother of two and former FinTech CEO named Christine spends roughly$250 ,000 a year on a household team. Let's pop this up. As a mother of two, there are certain tasks Christine Landis won't do. She has never clipped her children's toenails. Too anxious for that, she said.

29:03so the nanny handles it. Most nights, the family assistant takes care of bath time. Landis also hands off what she calls repetitive play, reading the same book five times or watching her toddler open and close a door for 45 minutes. CEO parents are not stopping with the nannies. Wealthy families are now hiring specialists to potty train, bike riding lessons, manage school applications, pack their trunks for summer camps, style their wardrobes, travel with them to equestrian tournaments. And there are even baby chefs who prepare culturally specific purees for infants. CEO parents can also hire a potty training consultant for anywhere from$600 to$4 ,500.

29:53Here's another excerpt from the article, pop this up. Seth Norman Greenberg, vice president of the household staffing firm Pavilion Agency said that he once placed a caregiver for a family practicing diaper-free parenting, expecting staff to read infant cues and rush the baby to the bathroom in time. One mother that employs a team of seven, seven people for her toddler, defended the expenses by saying, every hour I spend folding laundry or scheduling a repair person is an hour. I'm not present with my kids. That's not a philosophy. It's math. And so what I have to say about this is I was always a working mom.

30:40And I think there was maybe like one year that I didn't work when my youngest son, Roman, was a baby. And then my other son was a toddler, but I always had to get back to work. It's really hard to be a full-time mom and a full-time worker, but the cutting the toenails and the right teaching to ride the bike and reading the same book over and over again. I look back on those moments now that I have one child in law school and one child in college. I look back on all of those and I just, I, I have such fondness. My son Dylan loved the book, The Big Red Barn. And we had to read it like 25 times every night.

31:24and I knew it by heart. And he would say again, and I would try to, I would like hide the book under another pile of books and he would dig over and he would get that one. And I just wouldn't trade any of that for the world. And when you're in the moment, yeah, it can be frustrating. I have to read the big red barn the 30th time tonight. But those are the moments. Like those are the things when your kids are big that you look back on. I mean, I remember when both boys took off on their bikes. And I remember packing them for stuff. And I just wouldn't trade any of that for anything. I completely agree.