Schlapp My Ass and Call Me a Patriot

0:02Angie Sullivan:So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay treats, they treats, black treats, brown treats, and any of the treats we leave off. We love you. And all of the fascists can do what, pumps? All right, pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is pharmaceutical companies. You would think I would be talking about the Sacklers, but not today. This is a different pharmaceutical company. So my dog, Tilly, the one who I've had it with about the overnights, who hasn't done it since then. So I think maybe she's cured. Okay. She's been on antibiotics for two weeks.

0:45She has another two weeks to go because she has an upper respiratory infection. So when we switch the antibiotics, they give me the pills. Here's how the pills count. No perforation. You cannot pop the pill out of the tinfoil deal. It's like triple reinforced tinfoil. So for me to access the medication that I give my dog every day, twice a day, I have to cut the top, cut all around, cut the top. I have to take my zit tools and dig out the pill before I can give it to her. And my thought is they don't want their products to be taken. They want to manufacture antibiotics. They want it to be prescribed, but they don't want anybody to benefit because they don't want you to be able to take a pill out of the packaging.

1:42It has been driving me crazy twice a day. I fucking had it. If you're going to make something that you know is going to be dispensed, make it accessible without scissors and zip tools.

1:54Angie Sullivan:This is the exact same thing when our kids were little and trying to open up these toys and assemble them on Christmas Eve to have them ready under the tree. It's like, did somebody have a round table meeting where it's like, okay, here's how we're going to do packaging. And then people overdo it kind of like these Apple updates where they're making things more and more difficult. The opening of packages or medications in your case is so incredibly frustrating because they make it incredibly difficult to do it, to penetrate the product that you paid for, to use it and access it. Yeah, it blows my mind.

2:31It completely blows my mind. And I said something to the vet when she had her last checkup. I was like, what the fuck is going on? Do they not want the dogs to take the medicine? And she said, I started prescribing the generic, but it's the exact same packaging. So that's a whole collusion we haven't even talked about. But the whole thing is that this is bullshit. It shouldn't be this hard.

2:54Angie Sullivan:I have so many problems with pharmaceutical companies and the way the United States, the whole healthcare system, I could do a whole episode on it. The amount of people that take prescription medications that they don't need is insane. The amount of people that, it's so insane. You go to a doctor and the doctor has been hustled and wined and dined by a pharmaceutical rep to sell their product. And then a person goes in and the immediate thing is here, here's a pill you need to take. The evidence that people are way over medicated in America is just unbelievable and it's all for profit and then i don't know i'm sure they're running some racket in the dog and cat veterinary clinic just like they are with the people but the pill popping in the united states of america whether it be animal or human being is just i could do a whole an entire episode on it i could furthermore do an entire episode on how physicians in the united states their first thing is to pull out their pad and a pen and write a script instead of actually treating and be preventative and talk about lifestyle issues and things that are more sustainable.

4:15Angie Sullivan:But oftentimes in the United States, you have a pill and then it has all of these side effects. And then there's a whole new market where there's a new drug that helps you mitigate the side effects from the first pill. It's insane. It is just utterly insane. America pill popping culture is nuts. It's nuts. All right. I have had it with, as you all know, I'm in a long lifetime battle with email terrorism. Yeah. And it's something that I battle every day, about three or four times a day. And my email address gets on lists that I didn't sign up for. I purchased something and only to be punished by the retailer.

5:02Angie Sullivan:By then they harassed me and terrorized me via email. So I recently purchased something for my new apartment from a company. And I know when I checked out, it was like, sign up for our, you know, savings, email terrorism blasts and I was like uncheck what not part of this despite the unchecking they've continued here's a survey on the item you bought here's this here's that here's this here's that here's that so I go in I'm in the trenches taking grenades from this company right I'm talking I'm like eight emails deep after I purchased like some towel hooks something incredibly pedestrian all right something you would never fucking write a review about unless you're a complete whack job bored to tears.

5:45So I unsubscribe and then it pops up.

5:51Angie Sullivan:Thank you. We're sorry to see you go. Thank you for unsubscribing. This will take 48 hours to update, which is total bullshit and a pathological lie. And I want to start a class action lawsuit in my spare time because other companies you can unsubscribe and it's immediate right this is a racket where they are belaboring the terrorism 48 additional hours so in those 48 hours after i declined the survey i don't want to write a review i don't want to give it a star rating i don't want to talk about the product i don't want i wanted to buy it and then it i wanted it to end I unsubscribe and in the ensuing 48 hours six emails per day 12 no additional nukes to my inbox that's bad yeah that's really bad especially because like you said I have had that happen a million times here's what I hate is you put the unsubscribe when you're checking out but they have your email for billing.

6:58So then they keep emailing you. So you unsubscribe twice. I have never in my life heard of being unsubscribed. Unsubscribing, it'll take 48 hours.

7:10Angie Sullivan:48 hours to update. 48 hours to update. And that was a complete lie because they just wanted to terrorize me more. Yeah, they just want to see if they can hook you. Yeah, they are. A lot of these retailers are abusive husbands and the consumers are the battered wives. I want some appreciation from corporate America, who I have zero faith in at all. But at least like, if we don't want to be emailed, don't email us. Like, isn't it such a gift that somebody could just, hi, I want your service. Here's the money. Let's end it. But everything's a hustle. Everything's a shakedown. Everything's a harassment.

7:51Angie Sullivan:And I just, I, it makes me hate the digital world completely because we've all been reduced to our data. There's no question about that. Let me ask you this. Will you ever buy anything from that company again? If I need it, I probably will. See, that's the problem. That's the, that's, I'm just being honest. I would love to say, no, I am never going to shop at that company again. But if I go to look for a product and it's like, you know, a four week lead time on another website, but this particular company has it immediately within a day, the instant gratification person in me, impulsive, short-sighted retail therapy, junkie out the wazoo.

8:36Angie Sullivan:I will be like, tap the vein, hit it. And I'll be like, roll up my sleeves. Come on, let's go with the emails. I'm ready. I'm locked and loaded. Let's go. At least this time you're ready. I've done that so many times. I am never buying from them again, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. Fold like a cheap suit. Yeah. It's always a cave. All right. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie. Hi. Um, you guys, I have a had it that I've been thinking about. Oh, let's hear it. That's just a good spin. I know. I, and I think I'm going to step in it. Okay. So I might sound like a boomer asshole.

9:08I've been like, do I bring it up? So we'll just work through it on air live. Okay. So, you know, I wear a lot of tight, white ribbed tank tops you do too and those are called wife beaters wife beaters i was at a fundraising event i was talking to this nice guy he was talking about a place he likes to shop and he was like yeah i was there and i bought a bunch of wife pleasers and i really like them and it took my brain a second i said did you say wife pleasers he said yeah that's what you're supposed to call them now i don't want to fucking call it a wife pleaser and i don't think i'm going to and that might make me sound MAGA but I think that's fucking stupid and it's been bothering me that would bother me

9:49Angie Sullivan:what do you think? I'm team Kylie thank you I mean we're not going to be politically correct about a tank talk for fuck's sake I mean it's just this is the thing like then a person on the other end of this is going to go domestic violence and assault is horrible and I completely agree it's absolutely terrible this is a figure of speech and i just think sometimes the over policing of all of the language in some instances is helpful but sometimes i think it goes on steroids and then it makes everybody hate the left because nobody likes a hall monitor nobody likes a little snitch a little tattletale.

10:37And so I call them wife beaters.

10:40Angie Sullivan:I wear wife beaters. They've been a staple in my wardrobe for decades. I'm going to continue to call them wife beaters. We're probably all three going to get canceled. And I just want to say, it's been great working with this. This was fun. Yeah. And I just want to say, we do oppose with everything in us, domestic violence vote accordingly uh all of our platform you know we want to prop up women as best we can but i just those little micro conversations that happen like people lecturing us about calling uh jd vance a pussy don't use that word i'm just like i give up i just i give the fuck up and don't you think if you like if you want to you call out wife beaters now they're wife pleasers and you can't call JD Vance a pussy and all that shit, then it diminishes when something is really offensive.

11:34If we're hall monitoring on everything, then when we are voraciously against something, it's diminished because it's like, oh, they're mad about wife pleasers versus wife beater, kind of, or am I off based on that? No, I see it.

11:51Angie Sullivan:I just, I think that sometimes stuff just goes a little bit too far. And I think these are the things that are said in spaces where people want to be politically engaged, but their life isn't directly impacted by a lot of the things that Republican politics do. And I think a lot of this is born out of white latte liberal culture. And calling that shirt a wife beater is just kind of, I mean, I don't know. I'm not, I know what's happening on the other end of this right now. As we say this, I just, I know it. I'm just not a petty person about shit like this. I agree. I'm team Kylie on this. I just, I can't call it a wife pleaser.

12:45Angie Sullivan:that's my thing come up with a better name if we have to fix it wife pleaser is really stupid to me I'm not saying that that's ever I mean and that's like what's a wife pleaser what's that okay I have a story I want to run by you in this kind of the same vein okay so yesterday I'm sitting at a light it's like three o 'clock uh all of a sudden it's I'm in the turn lane all of a sudden this woman is coming she is going the opposite direction and she's has her blinker on so she's wanting to turn into our lane and go into a starbucks is what i ultimately find out this woman it's too i'm the lane closest to the entrance there's another lane then there's her going the other direction she fucking lays on that horn and it's just like I don't even know what's happening I'm like who's she honking at is it me well I realize that she wants the people in my lane in the lane next to me to give her an opening into the Starbucks so I'm just like whatever so as I'm my first in think is go fuck yourself you entitled cunt that's my first thought then as I'm driving I kind of think I kind of dig it I mean, she's just like, fuck you.

14:07I need my coffee. I don't care if everybody in their cars is, is inconvenienced, is put out that I'm honking at him, that I look like an asshole. I want my fucking coffee and I want it now. So then I kind of like, was like, I don't know how I land on it. What do you think?

14:27Angie Sullivan:Um, I don't like if, if somebody did that to me and I'm there and she wanted to get through, I would try to facilitate the person getting through. I did. Yeah. So I wouldn't be mad about that at all. I'd be like, okay, she's trying to get through. And then I would, would I do that? Probably not. I probably wouldn't do that. I would like go, I would go down and turn around so I could make a right turn in it because I don't like to inconvenience people. But on the same token, I wouldn't feel inconvenienced if she did that. I'd be like, Oh, Oh, gotcha. And I'd kind of like wave them through. Yeah, I did that too.

15:04But I was the only one that moved. So I don't know. I just had such mixed emotions. Okay. I've got a couple of comments from Spotify. We can fly through here. On recent episodes, the past few weeks, Roxy says, well, slap my ass and call me a patriot. This episode was fucking hilarious. And I like that saying, Jen, I think you could kind of fit that into your vocabulary. Ian says, can we get Meemaw on unjuiced.date, please? Which I think, yes. That's the obvious answer. Yes. And then Tiffany says, I'm late to the party, but y 'all missed a huge opportunity by not saying black cock down.

15:45Angie Sullivan:Oh my God. Oh my God, Tiffany, Tiffany. That is so, I'm so mad that we didn't black cock down. Oh my God, lady Graham. That is so good. I love, love, love irreverent humor like that. And I, and I love blasphemy. Both of those things I love so much. it's right in the sweet spot. One of the worst parts about being a woman is wearing horrifically uncomfortable bras. I've struggled with this. Pumps has struggled with this. Listeners, I know you have struggled with this. All of that ends today because we are partnering with Honeylove. Honeylove has incredible bras founded by women for women. They have a sports bra, but it's actually designed for all day wear.

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19:01Angie Sullivan:For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners$10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code HATIT. That's Nutrafol.com and it's spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com and use the promo code HATIT. Okay, we have some news stories here. A video from a book signing event is going viral and we keep getting tagged in it. Here is a clip from Apostle Catherine Crick's book signing event in Texas. Play the clip.

19:55Angie Sullivan:Okay, for those of you that are listening, these people are like convulsing and falling over after this gal touches them. And it's just a very pedestrian looking white woman that's touching them. She doesn't look like a wizard or she looks like a woman that's kind of from Texas. In America. I think by far. By far. Because of the hunger.

20:25Angie Sullivan:We're talking in tongues. I was going to say, I hear tongue talking.

20:34Angie Sullivan:Jesus Christ.

20:38Angie Sullivan:These fucking crazy Christians. And I mean, and then the right is going to go after us. I would like to welcome the Fox News producers, the New York Post producers, the right-wing media far like crack cocaine level ecosystem that will watch our podcast every day for content. Here's what I have to say about that. America has a crazy Christian problem. Those people are off their fucking rockers and are not contributing members to society. That is beyond the pale. They need to be in straight jackets and padded cells, clip it, post it. go viral, put me on the front page. I don't give a fuck. I lived in the Bible belt.

21:16Angie Sullivan:These people are nuts and they need help. They need to get off the church tit where it is actually them giving to the church over and over and over and over and over again. And the church enables them to be crazy dipshits, clip it, Jesse run with it, swing for the fences. America has a crazy Christian problem. And that, and that video is exhibit A of 1 million of those. And when I'm seeing all that, I'm like, that's basically, they're one step behind that, what goes on in the talking circles in the fucking White House parking lot. And then the prayer circles before this is going on in the highest levels of government.

22:01And it's the dumbest fucking people on the planet that are clearly misguided mentally. I don't know what's going on there, but it's not healthy.

22:09Angie Sullivan:There's something else that gets the right wing wound up, religious addiction. They clipped me all up when I said that there's such a thing called religious addiction. And it is a very real thing. Catherine Crick is a self-described apostle, faith leader, and demon removal specialist who leads five-fold church in Los Angeles. so to pumps this point that these people are dumb there is no such thing as a faith healer or a demon removal specialist those are made up things that is a bullshit job these are not real professions what she is is a thief and a liar she's lying to these people and stealing their money according to her own official biography she came to la to pursue acting when that failed she then pivoted to becoming a Christian singer.

23:02Angie Sullivan:In 2016, a prophet told her that God had selected her to be an apostle who would perform shocking miracles. And I just want to say that conversation never took place. So she abandoned music and opened a church. Here is an actual paragraph from her own biography page. Mike Johnson's got some competition with this thing. All right, pop this up. God has called you to be an apostle of Jesus Christ. You were called to reach the nations of God. We'll do many shocking miracles through you. Upon hearing that word, she felt like Moses, unqualified, unable to speak and unable to picture herself ministering.

23:46Angie Sullivan:But she had faith that God would equip her and she wanted to obey him above all else. She obeyed God's call to and put her music career pursuit aside. Like, okay, everything that is read to you, she is a compulsive liar. She is a fucking liar. This conversation never took place. She never felt like Moses. All of that is made up bullshit. I don't have evidence to tell you it's made up, but I know it with everything in me. Well, the evidence is that that's not real, in my opinion. Here's the thing. Here's what she did. She went out there. She couldn't be an actress. And so she's like, what's the best and fastest way to make a fuck ton of money, not pay taxes, put my acting skills to use and have zero fucking accountability.

24:36I know I'll start a church. And she wasn't wrong.

24:40Angie Sullivan:She sells an eight session course in removing demons. So she's marketing the demon removal. So here's you two can be a demon removal specialist. All you have to do is buy her eight session course. And you too could add that to your Instagram profile. She says miracles are free, but money is part of obedience. She has cured many people on the spot from many demons, such as autism, homosexuality, high blood pressure, pre-diabetes, long COVID symptoms, seasonal allergies, anger supposedly originating from rejection in the womb, generational witchcraft, and death. The one I want to focus on here is anger originating from rejection in the womb.