Spray Tan Supremacy

0:02So are we supposed to start the podcast? ready one two three patriots gay triots they triots black triots brown triots and all of the triple trumpers can do what pumps fuck off that's so much better you know i filmed with hassan in austin in new york and i told them beforehand i was like okay so i'm gonna do this thing and then y 'all have to say fuck off and they were both like they sounded like these little wounded birds that mom knocked out of the nest. And it was a very lackluster fuck off for the two leftists that lead the younger generation. So I was a little disappointed in that. Well, here's the thing.

0:50I have very few talents, but I consider the fuck off as one of them. So I just have to think I might be the I might be what makes fuck off so great and nobody else replicate the comments. You're the common denominator. Yeah, that's the one thing I'm really good at. All right, pumps. What have you had it with? What I've had it with, and I know I've brought this before, but there's a little twist on it this time. I've had it with delivery window times. When you have somebody that says we're going to come from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., okay, that's a huge, broad window, and I've had it with that forever.

1:33But in my most recent experience, what I've had it with is they tell you the delivery window is after lunch. And I had a plumber coming out, and I called the plumbing company, and I said, are you sure it's going to be after lunch because I'm going to go to the gym? and she says, absolutely. It's going to be after lunch. You have plenty of time. Okay. Sounds good. So I run up to the gym. I have no more picked up a weight than the plumber calls and says, I'm 15 minutes away from your house. And I'm just like, why do we have fucking delivery windows if we're not going to come during the delivery window time?

2:14Because I made a special effort. Then my internet went out, AT &T came out. They said, we'll be there between one and four. 6.30, I'm still waiting. Here's my thing. Just let me know you're gonna be late because I'm trapped. I'm chained to the house when this happens. So I've had it with delivery windows. I've had it with how long they are. I've had it when people don't stay inside the delivery window. Yeah, I can't stand this either. You end up being a hostage and a prisoner of your own home. and I think it's disrespectful. And I think that doctors participate in this a lot too. You have an appointment at 2 p.m.

2:53You arrive at 2 p.m. You don't even get called back till 3 p.m. People have jobs, people have kids to pick up from school and you're just a hostage there. And I think there's just so much consumer abuse across the board to favor corporate profits. And the consumer abuse is just on steroids. in Trump's regime. I mean, it's just unbelievable. Yeah. And you're desperate for the service at the doctor. You can't leave because you need the service. The plumber, my toilet was broken. So I needed that service. AT &T, I didn't have internet. So they make you desperate. Then they come in and fix it and you're just so relieved.

3:33Yeah. Yeah. All right. I've had it with Trump's makeup. And I know that this is something we've talked about a lot, but I just feel like at this stage in fascism, they've taken off the white KKK hoods and they've replaced them with MAGA hats. I think just something tangible that I would like to campaign on is I want a makeup free Trump's Trump. Now, let me just state, I am not opposed to men wearing makeup. I actually quite like it. I'm not opposed to men having fingernail polish. I don't care. What I'm opposed to is the hue of the makeup, the application of the makeup, and how it's not discussed in right-wing media.

4:25The void of talking about his makeup in right-wing media as they are promoting this form of toxic masculinity is both intellectually dishonest and patronizing to people in the populace that have a triple digit IQ. And so I just think that at this late stage in capitalism and this late stage of makeshift democracy, I want him to go. I want him to be the age that he's supposed to be. I want to see no makeup. I've heard he's not dying his hair anymore and it kind of looks like he's not. But that's what I want to see. I'm tired of him wearing bad makeup. If we have a president that wears makeup, fine.

5:10But I'm tired of the bad makeup. Well, and here's the deal. Let's see the bald spot. I want to see what's under that rat nest of hair because you hear all about his failed hair implants in the 80s or early 90s, whatever it was. here's the thing with the makeup on trump can you imagine what his clothes are like when he takes you know like sometimes your makeup gets on your clothes like your shoulder i mean it is imagine his pillowcase oh my god i mean there's some there is some american that works at the white house that has to make his bed and change the sheets and this is what i would call a forgotten American.

5:50Like this is, she has to go, she or he, they have to go in there to his bed. And it's been incredibly reported that he eats his dinner in bed, that he's all fluffed up with his orange makeup on, eating a filet of fish and a quarter pounder, cramming French fries down his throat, slurping on like a big gulp Diet Coke, right? So it's just a, you know, there's salt, quarter pounder with cheese sauce, you know, magic Big Mac sauce in the bed. He didn't give a shit. He just flops around in it. And can you imagine the smell of that McDonald's permeating in that room, plus the smell of him, plus the makeup on the pillowcases.

6:33So somebody goes in there that needs the work, right? They have to go in there to this crime scene and change that bed. And I imagine, you know, there's, it has to be changed every day, new sheets, every single day. There's no way. Number one, he's not pissing in that bed. Number two, there's credible reports that he poops his pants. And so, I mean, I just, I, here's the thing. I get crazy people. I understand it. I understand a singular crazy person. I understand a singular narcissistic person. I understand a singular sociopath. I will never understand the millions of people that support this man.

7:14I will never understand that this is the guy that we're losing all of our shit for, that this is it, that people that want to lecture us about moral values and family values and freedom and democracy have anchored and tethered themselves to this disgusting human being. And what's fascinating about it is MAGA women, they think he's hot. I heard that someone say. You know, like, they have to be a lie. No, it's not. Of course. Absolutely not. We they think he's hot. I remember at the conventions, these MAGA women would be like, oh, President Trump, you're so handsome, you're so attractive. And then that nut, she was a congresswoman from Minnesota.

8:07She went off to the pasture and now she's resurfaced again. Bachman, Michelle Bachman. Oh, yeah. She was just recently interviewed and she said that she thought Trump was really attractive. And here's the thing. I think they do. You don't think it's propaganda? I do not think it is that big of a connection to say, I'm going to lose my moral compass. I'm going to sell everything down the river. I don't think it's that big of a jump for the same people that think he's smart to also think he's attractive. I don't think that those two things are separated from one another. If you listen to him speak and you go, oh man, this guy's sharp as a tack.

8:49I would think it's a foregone conclusion that the same brain could also go, he's hot. But I don't see a distinction between the insanity of the cult member. You're probably right. But even, okay, let's just say a normal 80-year-old. How many 80-year-olds do women run around and say, God, he is hot. He is so hot. I mean, it's just, it's so gross. And they pump him up all the time. But this is a cult. Right. Sure. That's true. six three 215 pounds you bet all over it yeah and then you know he then they also photoshop there's also like all the men in maga that have like this is the weird shit they have all the like their posts on their instagram page you always know the person's a nightmare like you always know this person's gonna be a fucking nightmare when you see their social media account and it's like patriot dad christian you know warrior you know like this person is a fucking disaster and then they have all of this homoerotic shit posted of trump online and there's this component of american culture where they're really into all this shit you know like all of this like faux spirituality and i can't even call it spirituality because it's so transactional this christianity and this uh masculinity and it's it becomes their entire identity it's wild to me wild like read a book art museum go for a walk like there's a whole lot of really cool things in the world and this guy ain't it well and what's so funny about it is they all they talk about is alpha male.

10:37We are alpha males. Trump is an alpha male. All these guys are alpha males. And it's just like, this is your alpha male. Okay. That tells me everything I need to know about you, just like your truck nuts and your oversized tires and your flag. That tells me everything I need to know. Yeah, it's a really wild time. And on top of everything, I just think that Trump has given so many people this permission structure to take the hood off. And I'm talking about the KKK hood, because Barack Obama being president broke a lot of white America. It really broke them. And not only was he resoundingly elected, I mean, popular vote, electoral vote, he was a good person, a family man.

11:33And I'm sure some of our leftist listeners are going to be like, God, he did this or that. All of that's irrelevant as to what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a very competent, very intelligent, Ivy League educated black man that became president despite you, not because of DEI, despite any sort of advantage. And his wife, who Ivy League educated, beloved. And some people are so dark in their hearts that it just broke them. They were unable to objectively say, oh, you know, like this is a really cool moment in American history, especially after our 400 years of racism. This is a really cool moment.

12:18I disagree with him on certain things, but he seems to be a decent person. It just broke them to the point that they, it primed the psychological soil for them to just fall into the arms of this diaper-wearing, high cholesterol, cankles out the wazoo, horrible makeup, eating filet-o-fish in bed, lazy, lazy, you know, and that's the trope. They always want to talk about black people, these white races, black people are lazy. Trump is so lazy. And here's how, you know, he's lazy. When the white house has to say he keeps a schedule of a 15 year old, right? Like, you know, he doesn't even report down to the oval until like 10 or 11 or noon, famously shuns off meetings and then goes up back up.

13:10He does some press conferences. I think they're getting jacked up. And there was Adderall wears off. He snoozes through them. He even he is bored with his staff heaping praise on him. Yeah. I mean, he's bored of the cabinet meetings, which are nothing but a kiss my ass dick fest for all these just miserable humans. Okay. You know I hadn't thought about it in a long time, but you're talking about Obama and how he was just everything that Republicans say they want, except that he was black. Remember the biggest like scandal other than the brown suit was when they were talking about him smoking a cigarette.

13:50Do you remember that? Yeah. People were like, oh, yeah, he's smoking a cigarette. This man, Donald Trump, is running around knee deep in a pedophile ring and people make excuses for them. But yet President Obama smoking a cigarette was scandalous. It's just it blows my mind. And I'm with you. I just do not understand the people that are just still on the train. And they are abundant. I mean, it's I think that I'm seeing some polling that he's upside down on stuff. But then I'm also seeing polling that he still has 90 percent approval rating within the Republican Party. And so that is just a stunning revelation to me that he is still with this advanced stage dementia, with this incompetent governing, with the clear and obvious corruption that even the Wall Street Journal reports on all the time.

14:54The economic corruption happening with the personal enriching of Whitcoff, his pro-Russian advisor, with Jared Kushner, his son-in-law. And it's all to just enrich themselves. And these people are still laser focused on supporting him. And I just think it goes back to something about, I think the Republican Party was moving towards this. There's no question. But it accelerated after Obama. And he came down that escalator saying something that they were dying to say the N word out loud for those eight years that Obama was president. And he came pretty close and he said, OK, he's not American. And they were like, oh, yeah, that's right, because we're heritage Americans.

15:44And this whole country has just still has a huge racist problem where people would rather vote against their economic interests if that means that black people will not get anything. And it's just it's a really stunning, stunning thing. You're exactly right, because you cannot tell me that 90 percent of the Republicans that are polling that saying they're all for Trump, that they believe, you know, that their groceries are down, that they they have more money in their pocketbook because of Trump, because that is simply mathematically impossible. But they just know he hates who they hate. So it's all it's high times.

16:33That's it's it's a stunning revelation. It really is. All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. All right. Let's check in with Kylie. Hi. Hi, Kylie. I've got a couple of reviews for you. We're going to start with this one. That's five stars titled Authoritarian Botox. And Luke writes, Jen has a siren's voice that captures millions of listeners. Her power is nearly unmatched. Her repudiation of neoliberalism and MAGA cultism is so powerful that dare I say, if she discontinued Botox and allowed her eyebrows to move, she would become an unstoppable force. We cannot allow Jen to do this.

17:16No one can ever have that kind of power ever. Hashtag no Queens. Okay. No Queens. Luke, I have some stunning development. So I, um, let all my Botox wear out. And then I went and got something called micro Botox. And so as you can see, I have movement here. Did you model your eyebrow? Yeah, there they go. There you go. Well, and I'm going to let y 'all in on a little secret. Pumps and I on, when we stream like this, we put filters on and it's a low key filter. So I am going to take off the filter here on Instagram because it's dishonest. I've taken a filter. I have one. I'll take off with you, Jen.

18:02Take it off. I'm not taking mine off. Let's go natural. I'm going natural. I'm taking mine off. I will be authentically loving my Botox and my filter until they put me in the ground. Let's see your head. Move your head. I've never been able to say I don't get Botox. move your forehead move your forehead oh yep oh there's none none i like to look like a terrified heroin addict just be frozen that's what i like yeah i'm thinking about starting my botox journey soon i'm getting really close and i've got some some things i think that could just be helped a little yeah oh no i don't have any wrinkles in your forehead just that little tiny line yeah we'll see i'll keep everyone updated on your botox journey on my botox journey document it on your instagram non-stop yeah i have no wellness journey but i'll do a botox journey this podcast is supported by fx's love story john f kennedy jr and carolyn beset the new limited series from executive producer ryan murphy it explores the complex courtship of the iconic couple considered to be American royalty, whose love story captured the attention of the nation.

19:21Their fairytale romance would unfold in front of the public eye, where their private love would also become a national obsession. FX's love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette. Watch now on FX, Hulu, and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. A lot of you know me as a podcaster, but for the 20 years prior to this, 20 plus years prior to this, I have been an interior designer. And one of my favorite companies is Article. Their furniture is dynamite. The service is unparalleled and the quality is fantastic. Chic. We ordered for the podcast studio a curved boucle sofa. Plus, they have meticulous packaging.

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20:51Again, that's article.com slash had it for$50 off your first purchase of$100 or more. All right, you guys know I recently moved to New York and it has been a brutal, I mean brutal winter. And I love comfort food like grilled chicken breast, maybe some chili, but I really don't like to cook. And that's why I use CookUnity. CookUnity makes eating well, effortless and rewarding, delivering chef crafted meals straight to your door. So you save time on planning and cooking while enjoying exceptional quality and value in every single bite. I found on CookUnity, Chef Tracy Bloom, and she makes a classic pasta bolognese with parmigiano.

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22:30Again, that is 50 % off your first order by using code HATIT or going to cookunity.com slash HATIT. Okay, this one's five stars titled Jen and Pumps are my mom's now. And Anna E writes, I just cut off my MAGA mom after she callously taunted the murder of Renee Good, who is strikingly similar to me in many respects. The estrangement was 18 years in the making, and this was the final straw. One of my silver linings is that I also just recently discovered Jen and Pump's pod, and it is both a cathartic outlet for my angst and a safe place to have a giggle and find little moments of happiness amongst the angst, which is why I'm declaring them to be my new moms.

23:13I think this means Kylie is my cousin. Keep fighting the good fight, ladies. I just, I think that is so sweet and sad at the same time. It makes me so mad that parents shun their kids. It makes, it grosses me out that people cheerlead the homophobia and murder and racism of ISIS activities. And most of them do it with impunity because nobody in their fucking group has the balls to stand up for humanity and stand up against murder and stand up against homophobia. So good on you, as sad as this is, good on you for telling your racist, murderous supporting mother to F off, because this is different.

24:07This whole thing right now is not political to me, you guys. This is moral. These are moral differences. And I feel, and Angie knows this about me, like when I am in MAGA circles, I feel physically my body is off. Like I know what these people support. I know the homophobia that they support. I know that their thoughts hurt the people that I love and they use their white privilege to do it and provide cover. And I want to always be the person that uses my privilege, both economic and complexion, to stand up for the most marginalized people. And when I am dead and gone, I want my children and grandchildren to know she stood up to people when it was not popular.

24:55She stood up to people when she was ridiculed for it on Fox News, received death threats, threats of sexual violence, but she didn't give a fuck. That is super important to me that I teach my children that they have that type of iron clad conviction. And I have shunned so many people in my life, so much so that I moved away from Oklahoma City because I can't handle the hypocrisy. It physically, I feel something in my body around hypocrites. And I just, I can't do it. I literally cannot do it in this stage of how depraved MAGA is. It makes me sick. It makes me so sad that somebody would cheerlead a murder in front of their children.

25:42Like the parenting skills in MAGA is so disgusting to me that somebody's racist in front of their kids. Somebody demeans other people in front of their kids. It's just gross. Somebody's homophobic in front of their kids and they're just teaching them to be that way. just generational fuckery on top of dysfunction and it grosses me out. And I can speak to just the grief that you feel when you realize someone that you love that is a family member is devoid of empathy, that they can easily separate what is happening to other people and they can't apply it to themselves. I mean, I've had sleepless nights.

26:22I've had, you know, very upset thinking about this person that I love has no fucking empathy and there's a grieving to it. So I absolutely. Here's what I want to ask you, Pumps, because I think this is interesting. This person that you're talking about has never had empathy. What happened is you had an awakening, 180 degree turn where you had empathy and you left the pack and they didn't join you. But in my mind, in my mind, that person always, I, I bestowed upon them empathy when I should not have. I bestowed that on myself. The big lie. The big lie. Yeah. But I mean, it's really, really disappointing.

27:12And I, I understand feeling that way and we're happy to be your mothers yeah that it's it's really that's the really there's all the economic stuff and all of the erosion of civil liberty stuff the not talked about a lot are like these gay queer black mixed race people that have been treated like shit by people they thought they could trust. And I've been privy to this for a really long time because in the nineties, when I first went to college, I had a lot of gay friends. I could either hang out with a Bible study girls, or I could hang out with gay men. Naturally, I picked gay men and, uh, the torture that they had to go through to tell their parents they were gay because they knew that their parents were going to reject them.

28:06It's just this horrific, you know, cinder blocks on their shoulders. And to know that like these people that made me, one could argue they made me gay if you're the gay person, and then they just get rejected by their families. It's just so sad. And as this keeps building up, the remnants and the breadcrumbs as to what MAGA is doing now have been there for decades. Republican culture supports ostracizing others. And then they try to say, oh, we're all about cancel culture. It's like, yeah, we want to cancel fucking racists. Goddamn right we do. They deserve to be canceled. But that just, there's a real sadness to all the relationships.

28:49And more than anything, the moral rot that people can't wake up and speak up for decency and speak up for the marginalized And here's the thing. I know I bash on religion all the time and I want to be crystal clear. I bash on, uh, the organized religion people. Like I've been going, I've been going viral and somebody sent it to me like Christian talk. And they're like, Jennifer Welch said white evangelical Christians are cancer. And I want to say, yes, I do double down, triple down, quadruple down. White evangelical Christians are a cancer full stop. I will never not say that. If you same white evangelical women that are using my voice and my brand and my face to go viral on TikTok, number one, you're welcome.

29:33Number two, if you actually became Jesus-y and you actually became Christ-like, I would be the biggest Christian ally on the planet. But you're not. You're not. You're homophobic, racist, brag about triple Trumping. and you i mean like when you see a child in a little bunny hat and then you and you don't have this incredible empathy that god that's a five-year-old he doesn't need to be detained your instinct is well it's parent shouldn't blah blah blah blah blah and then you want to lecture me on christianity go fuck your selves all the way to the imaginary hell that you think i'm going to because I will put my atheism up against sure feigned faux Christianity all day, every day.

30:26And I know I'm going to win because it's the moral depravity that breathes inside evangelical Christianity anchored by racism, anchored by homophobia and tethered to this fuck face president that rapes people and is a pedophile. like and then you're like oh jen's jennifer welch says we're a cancer like um no jennifer welch just put a mirror up and again you're welcome for the viral video kind yeah exactly okay i've got some voice on those today and up first we're gonna listen to emily good morning jessica pumps kyle's and Seth the little bitch. This is Emily from Littleton, Colorado. I am calling to report that I have had it with self-service kiosks at which they have employees stationed to assist you with said kiosk.

31:30What the fuck do you have a person standing there for if I can do it myself? If I wanted some help, I would go somewhere that isn't self-serve. If I wanted your help, I would ask for it. But these people come up and try to help you at the self-service checkout, the most egregious of which is when I go through the car wash and some motherfucker comes up to the drive-up kiosk and is punching in the buttons for me. I can do it myself. I'm not an idiot. I am a grown adult who is old enough to drive. So therefore, I think I know how to read and push buttons and scan a credit card. So why don't you fuck all the way off and leave me to it?

32:19Okay. Thank you. I think this is something that has not gone talked about nearly enough. So I hope that you ladies will bring it to the attention of the general public. So maybe the egregious offenses will end. I completely agree, Patriot. Yeah. I mean, that's, yeah. Yeah, that, that is, that is some shit. The double dipping with, hey, this robot can help you. But also we know our robot's incompetent. So we're going to also send an incompetent human being to help you in the most patronizing way possible. The double incompetent, incompetent robot, incompetent human. Here's the thing. I've had this exact same thing happen to me at the car wash.