Straight Panic, Gay Excellence

30:08We're going to suffer a little more. All right. So Ashlyn Harris, what have you had it with? Oh gosh. We're going to just get right into it. I love this. Okay. Okay, can I list a few? Because I live in Trump's America, so I've had it clearly with a lot. First and foremost, I've really had it with straight people trying to tell me how to live. I just have had it. No more. Stop, enough. Can't we just shorten that to, I've had it with straight people? Well, I didn't want to like, because I love you both. Of course, of course. I can only imagine how exhausting it would be to be queer, gay, lessee, all of the letters in Trump's America and the sanctimony of the straights and the administration acting like they're better than everybody else.

31:09It's just so abhorrent. Yeah. And nothing irks me more than they're like, well, let's just not be political here. And I go, oh, fuck, it must be nice. that everything you do doesn't revolve around your literal human rights. Okay. It's a privilege. My thing, Ashlyn, is when they say, I think the response, the collective response that we need to say to triple Trumpers and to MAGA at large, if they say, I don't want to talk about politics or we're not political, we need to say, oh, you're mistaken. And this isn't a political disagreement that I'm having with you. This is a moral and ethical disagreement that I have with you.

31:49So this is not even remotely about politics. Morally and ethically, I have a problem with you. If we were disagreeing about tax policy, I would agree. That's a boring subject. Let's not talk about that. But we're talking about human rights. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Sophia and I just last Friday went to the Out 100 event. and people, you know, media was there asking questions. And I'm like, girl, you know how we feel. Let me just be gay and at this party, I don't need to talk to you about how awful it is out there. Like we all know, like let this moment of queerness and excellence and everyone actually being able to blend their makeup and dress nicely.

32:30Like, let me have my moment. Yeah, yeah. I have a question for you. And this is based on my own anecdotal research. I have a hypothesis that lesbians are better athletes than straight women. And I have developed this by playing pickleball with a bunch of lesbians. And they are just a little different on the court. There's a little bit more intensity. There's a little bit more athleticism. The cat-like reactions are a little bit more fine-tuned. And so on your soccer team, I would imagine you had straight women plus lesbians. And my question for you is on your team, were the lesbians more talented than the straights?

33:16I think it's a mixed bag. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I think it's a mixed bag. I do think there's more queer people in women's sports, period. But I do think it's a mixed bag because if you think about some of the greatest players of all time, whether it's Mia Hamm, you know, Alex Morgan, people like this, they're straight, straight, straight women. tennis world serena williams so yeah renee stabs yes exactly she's a lesbian oh that's right that's right a very big lesbian straight about her but then you have like you know your abby wambachs and like your megan rapinos and it's funny because when we won the world cup i think in it was 2015 or 2019 megan rapino says you can't win championships without lesbians gay people and it went everywhere and it's the truth like you just you can't win championships without gay people i really like that i really like i live by it all right another grievance that you need to another grievance that you had were self-checkouts and i just want to talk about that we have no no no pumps i know you don't know me but hear me out okay my patients go to my children not to self-checkout lines during the holidays everyone is going to buy things period i went to michael's because sophia and i were decorating you know our tree we needed the garland and all the things the trinkets and trash there were four checkout lines there were 400 people and not one employee and every time you like you do the beep and then it goes please see an employee well now what am i supposed to do no one works anymore so it took so long to just like we had a hundred items because they're little trinkets there's you got to do ornament by or i it it i've lost my mind with it enough i don't like the robots i don't like the technology give me back to a normal human that slides and scans and we can talk we can bs all we want about whatever it is going on in both of our lives at the moment, like give me a human.

35:34It's, it just, I've had it with it. I've had it with the self-check. Like, am I going to be making the food next in checkout lines? Like they have all of us doing everything nowadays and I'm, I'm over it. I don't have time. I hate the self-checkout for the reason that you mentioned. I hate it. When it says you need to see an associate, find me one. I'd be happy to see an associate, but you can't find me when i think jennifer makes fun of me but i think it's harder to do the scan and quick and bag i mean it's kind of an art a little bit it's not just the easiest thing for me so i'm slow but yeah i think self-checkout is pumps god forbid you forget your bags too nowadays you can't even get bags here yeah yeah it's always out they're like sorry we have we don't have bags and i'm like oh okay so i have a hundred items i'm checking out myself and now what am i and And Michael's told me I couldn't bring the cart outside because people were, you know, we're in stealing the car.

36:33Yeah. Right. We're in New Jersey. So now we're really getting somewhere. They're like, no, you can't take the cart outside. People steal them. You have to keep. But isn't this all lead back to the big lie of the election? The election was immigrants are taking your jobs. Right. And the truth of the matter is AI eat up the entire workforce. So in essence, the people who donated to Donald Trump's campaign to be bigots towards brown-skinned workers in this country were actually going to gobble up all the jobs that white people are doing. Americans, quote, they call, I do not support this phrase, but heritage Americans.

37:13They're replacing all of those jobs with AI jobs. So the job thieves the whole time have been Donald Trump's donors. Yeah. yeah i mean the misinformation out there and everything he ran on has been out it's just been such a nightmare everything has been as it's doomsday and it's like so hard to compartmentalize everything because it's like i want to find joy in like raising my children and it's a beautiful time to be alive when you have everything you ever wanted and then it's like the reality hits of this is really true i like if i could get two minutes with him god bless oh i would start by blending his also i'm like honey honey you need more gay people in your life yeah for sure you wouldn't look like an orange banana or orange peel you wouldn't look unbelievable like all of his clothing and like it's disgusting i'm like you actually get a gay person to do your hair please yeah get a gay person to do your makeup because it's it's showing very straight and white well except for bubba who's bubba yeah i think i don't probably i think he'd probably wouldn't put up too much of a fight to be surrounded by a bunch of gay men i mean And every time I hear him, he's talking about how hot men are, the size of Arnold Palmer's cock, giving a microphone a blowjob.

38:43Jeffrey Epstein's brother revealed he sucked off some guy named Bubba. Putin's got the information on that. But I want to, before you come on, we're talking about something and we're talking about family. Okay. And how the Republican Party has tried to define, long before Trump, traditional family, traditional family values. which excludes so many people. And in your family, you have, you and your ex-wife are raising your black children together. So two lesbian mothers, two black children, your partner, Sophia, co-parent, you know, with this situation. I don't know what the ex-wife, if there's a co-parent there.

39:30But there is this desire from these, quote, Christian people that value children. Now they value, surprise, surprise, they say they value women's sports and they value family. But in their mind and in the mind of a lot of the electorate, they would see your family as not good as an abomination. And a lot of people, and I just have to be blunt with you, a lot of people in the Bible book would say it was demonic and really horrible, cruel, mean things about your family. And I think the Democratic Party needs to take action to reclaim what family means. Hmm. Yes, I agree. I agree 100%. I think, you know, we've, we're trying to move so far backwards that we don't even know what mission we're on at this point.

40:27We don't know. Like, I think it's just got all so jaded and so lost in the weeds. But yeah, I checked every box. I lived in Florida, adopted both of the children through adoption law in Florida. and uh was playing there professionally with my ex-wife and they started doing the don't say gay bill then it was like book bans and i was like okay well like we're checking every box here and actually we're just not safe i think what it comes down to is i don't like i don't know what goes on in you guys's homes you don't know you know you don't know what goes on in mine and i'm like let's keep our shit like we don't have to agree but we can respect like I yes I have a black and brown child I love women I'm checking every box in Florida I picked my shit up and I moved out but also like that's so sad like that was my village that's like where my mom is and that's like where our family was and I have my brother my cousins and my best friends and it's just not safe.

41:33And what do you do as a mama bear? And I think that's something that's really underreported right now is the safety of LGBTQ plus people in red states. And if you get to the children of, you know, a gay parent, all the way to a trans child that is trying to go to maybe, be a therapy session. And you see that there's going to be a need for sanctuary cities for LGBTQ plus people. And the safety issue and the judgment that I see from having lived in Oklahoma for 50 years towards gay people with an assist from the megachurches, they drive I have so much of this homophobia. It's so devastating because this is anecdotal again, of course, but Pumps and I, when we were on tour for the podcast, multiple times we would be flying and there would be two gay dads with their toddlers.

42:44And I would sit down and think, Oh fuck. Here we go. By the toddlers. I'm going to tell you what, these toddlers, Those dads ran a tight ship. They were the best flying toddlers I had ever seen. They weren't dirty. They had great outfits. They had great behavior. They had cute backpacks. Everything about it was a 12 out of 10. And it always just strikes me at how I know from living in a white, patriarchal, Christian national estate. I know the lens that the judgmental Christian sitting two rows back, I know how they're going to judge those dads. and judge those kids and dehumanize and demoralize them.

43:24And it just, it makes me so angry that these people, and I guarantee you, pumps and ash, and if we looked at the Google search history of these people that are real judgmental about you and your lifestyle, I guarantee you it's not good. I bet there's a lot of fuckery going on in the Google search history. I completely agree. And I think you're a product of what you choose to see. I think it shows in lack of education for me. Like if I were to tell you guys to look around your room and look for something blue, I mean, you're just, your POV is blue. You're not opening your eyes to other things and other colors and other things that belong.

44:06You're just looking through the lens of one thing. And I think too often, especially now with this political landscape, people only see, like we're in such this like fight or flight mode and people handle it so differently. The problem is, is we're not opening our eyes and our hearts. We're closing them because we're all scared. And we're only seeing the things that are catering to our wants and needs, not necessarily our community and other people who don't look like us. So I think until we take the fucking blinders off and wake up and realize we're really harming a lot of people because we're not choosing to do the work and like doing, read fucking books.

44:46I don't know. read real truthful things about what's going on and how it's really affecting and harming people in their families people are only going to see blue they're not going to see the reds they're not going to see the purples and i see the browns the blacks they're just seeing the blue and i think that is my biggest issue and the way i move in life is how can i see all of it and if i can't how am i holding myself accountable being like oh in this situation how would someone like this feel. And I don't know if we necessarily do enough of that. Well, I would say that they're banning a lot of the books that you're probably recommending that people read.

45:27I did read recently, the majority of banned books are by black and brown authors as a surprise to absolutely no way. But Ashlyn, I grew up in Oklahoma, super evangelical society. And when you say that you're taught, look for blue. My worldview was black and white. That's how it was. That's how my mother's was. That's what I thought was right. And you're so right when you open up, like it changes, you have to evolve because you see things you've never seen. And other people's perspective is something I had no idea about. It was my perspective. It was what I liked. I'm special. But yeah, so the blue example, but that really hits with.

46:10Yeah. And I think, you know, I think we're really, really harming people by diving in and take like peeling back the layers of their peace and what goes on in there like i know there's plenty of fucking weird wonky straight people out there doing weird ass shit in their home right yeah go on don't hurt people don't judge people do your thing get your kink make sure it's age appropriate blah blah blah not my fucking problem so i'm like i'm so confused why people care so deeply about the hot chick i'm fucking every night like what do we like Because at the core of evangelical Christianity, in my opinion, is control over sex.

46:51And it starts when people are very young. And so I was raised by atheists in the Bible Belt. So when I would be hanging out with my peers, their number one thing that they talked about all of the time was remaining a virgin. I have to be a virgin. I have to keep my virginity. They are indoctrinated and brainwashed. You go to church, be a good girl, keep your virginity, virgin, virgin, virgin. Of course, these girls lost their virginity far sooner than the atheists did because they're just dying to go do it. Then it was like all this guilt and then they're going to be born again virgins. And then it moves on to when they can't control their own sexual urges because we're genetically hardwired to fuck.

47:31Yeah. Then they start trying to control the sexual urges of other people. And evangelical Christianity, which is at the epicenter of Christian nationalism, is all about controlling sex. Yes. So it gets really, really, really bad for the evangelical when they see that somebody is completely liberated into their sexuality and are two women having sex or two men having sex. and what you had to go through to be able to get through the societal constraints and the expectation that that's not what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to find opposite sex and you breed and you live happily ever after.

48:14That's thrust upon all of us through capitalism, through education, through living at home, through toys we play with. Everything drives us to that narrative. So for a gay person to jump out of that narrative, you have to dig deep and you had to dig a lot deeper than the Christian who's just focusing on being a virgin and then oops sorry we you know now we're going to start soaking and I'm going to be a born again virgin all this yes four kids have to go through instead of just fucking and buying condoms yeah right like normal people and so then it's just it's such a threat to them and I think it's such a threat to MAGA because they want to have shame-free sex they desperately want to but they're so into their faith.

48:58And I think, honestly, you guys, I think the whole abortion thing, my opinion, is they don't, it's not about pro-life because we know they don't give a fuck about it. No. It's about labeling the woman as she's not a virgin anymore. And she had sex outside of marriage so that she will be deemed less fuckable. And I think it's a punitive thing because the whole epicenter of the whole evangelical white national thing is controlling sex. Yeah. And controlling women. Yeah. That part. And I think the other thing is, yeah, well, controlling women is we're getting, we're gaining too much traction and control.

49:39And that is like literally exactly what they don't want. And my thing is, is what I love so much about, you know, when you talk about, they are fearful of this, that, or the other, What I think is so also what people don't talk about enough is the queer community knows themselves so like true and they're so authentic and they live a life full of color because they don't give a fuck because they know themselves that well. When you think about drag and you think about trans and you think about just beautiful gay men wearing a full face of makeup or really chic lesbians, these people know exactly who they are and they don't fit in line.

50:22They don't follow the rules the way society tells us to do because we live our fucking truth. And I think that is what this, you know, MAGA and straight white men, it's a feeling inside them that was like, if I had fucking follow the rules and I had to, you know, follow in line and do this and go to school and be a lawyer and, you know, whatever the bullshit they tell themselves. The fact that we live a life that's so abundant and so colorful and live our truth and do whatever the fuck we want because we don't care what people think about us because we already lived decades in a closet doing that shit.

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53:23Tell your doctor about your medical conditions, liver problems, and mental health. Serious side effects include allergic reactions or rash, liver problems, and depression. If these occur, get medical help right away. The most common side effect is injection site reaction. Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apertude.com or call 1-888-240-0340. row. Ashlyn, we're going to play our game with you called had it or hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it. People who chew with their mouth open. I've had it, had it, had it.

54:11It's like claws on a chalkboard for me. I completely agree. Sometimes my husband does this and we'll be like, and I'm I just, I, I like hyper-focus and stare at his mouth and I make a face like, so he knows that I'm disgusted by it. And then sometimes, and I'm like, Josh, you care so much about your hair, your physique and your outfits. Why are you talking to people while you're chewing food? It's fucking gross. Take it over the finish line. If you can't cherry pick, if you're going to be vain, be all the way vain. Don't just cherry pick a few things to be vain about. Just fucking go. Go for it.

54:50Can I tell you what I do? Wait, before we move to the next one, I film Sophia and I zoom in so uncomfortably close and I don't say anything and I send it to her. That's the level of life. Stop. Sophia Bush, choose her mouth open, that gorgeous creature Sophia Bush. She is a creature. So Josh is in company. Yeah. Now he's going to be proud of it. Yep. Wait till we have dinner again at your place. Full open mouth. Oh, really? Josh and Sophia will just be down at the end of the table. She was kind of a child star, so maybe she missed that parenting lesson. I mean, and she's got these, like, jaws, and it's, like, I can't even believe the sound coming out of it.

55:35I'm like, this can't be real. You're too cute to chew like this. No, that is hilarious. That's, yeah. I've had it with it. Okay. Okay, had it or hit it, the FIFA World Cup 2026. Yeah, hit it. I love FIFA. Okay, Kylie put a note here that Iran just announced they're boycotting the World Cup draw ceremony due to denied visas by the Trump administration. Oh, I love that. See, I loved the World Cup. when you guys i was in every minute which i want to say thank you for using your platform for equal pay that was oh yeah it was so important so i appreciate you using because you were in all this glory and then have this fight on your hands yeah but i kind of think fifa should be like we're not coming to the united states because of the human rights violations and said christina i'm sitting there going we're going to deport people from the arena at the super bowl we're going to deport people at the world cap i'm just like don't come like if you value brown your brown skin countrymen don't come well the president and trump are like in bed together so that's the issue fifa is so corrupt the things that they do the way they handle things they just like have no no moral compass in my opinion i'm gonna get in trouble for saying this but it's just like you guys it's just it's so in your face too like at least try to hide it a little bit and deny it and then off behind closed doors but like trump gave him an office in trump tower and doing all these things like they're in bed together it's it's weird white men are weird it's i don't know how y 'all date them weirder married you got it they're just like josh i had to shine the shit out of that oh she was in a rough time and i mean it was a two decade long project now he's great but it It was a big investment.

57:31All right. How did her hit it? Renee Stubbs. Hit it, baby. Hot. We had dinner with Renee last night. Renee's just cool. You know, she's just, she's so listener Renee Stubbs. She's been on the podcast twice. She's grand slam tennis champion doubles player, Australian, and a great mutual friend of mine and Ashland's and pops and she's just the best hilarious wait can i tell you a really sweet story really quick because you both love this so um when i went through my divorce a few years ago and it was my first thanksgiving my first holiday without my children i was like so upset i was just like not good she rented a car she picked me up and she was like i'm taking you to my friend's house were like a bunch of gay guys.

58:23We're going to have a great time. And it was Carson Kressley. They like knew what I was going through. Like he put me in his master bedroom, like the sweet, like held me in a way we went on these therapeutic walks to the horses. Guess who we were listening to the whole time. And she introduced me to, I've had it podcast. She was like, you have to watch this listen to it they're my like friends i'm obsessed with them we listened to it the whole weekend on all the drives on the walks and it was so sweet because she was like it's it's like it was a really really sweet time for us to connect but you guys were there too and you didn't even know it i love that and i love that the one thing that i love about the gay community is that family is such a movable evolutionary thing.

59:18And that for that Thanksgiving break, you made a family, Carson Cressley and Renee Stubbs and you in the absence of your children so they could be with their other mother. And I have always had an abundance of gay friends and that warmth and that ability to open up arms and welcome people because so many in the gay community have been shunned by their very own parents. And so the acceptability, especially around big moments like that, is undefeated in the gay community. The empathy, the welcoming, the sense of family, and the sense of humanity. So I just love that story. And that pumps and I were there.

59:57You were there. You didn't even know it, but you were there. Yeah. You have better life. Oh, look at you. You're together? Yeah, we're together. I should be over there. Why am I not? I know. I know. I should have had you come over. You have kids that just got home from Scotland. That's okay. They're at school. I was like, no, no, you're not too tired to go to school. Bye-bye. Mama's got to work. I would take my kids. No sacrifice was too large to get my kids to school. Never. Absolutely. Yeah. Okay. Moving along. Had it or hit it. Posting thirst traps with Sophia Bush. Did it, baby. Did it. She just posted one last night late.

1:00:36I woke up this morning. I said, okay, girl, go on. All right. Had it or hit it? You hauling.

1:00:47Hit it, hit it. I feel like Sophia, you hauled her way right in. She was like, what? I'm from Jersey too. She picked up and moved here right away. I was like, are you sure? i love it she the hinges from the closet just came right into the u-haul straight into new jersey she's like i'm here i'm queer here's my fucking u-haul yeah let's post a thirst trap and she's so proud of it literally has a u-haul hat like she she is she she is playing right in she really is she really is one great thing about you and your partner um the fight for human rights yes um never dulls and your voices just get louder and louder and it can feel so you being from a marginalized group and has not diminished you both of you using your platforms to let other young lgbtq plus people young old whatever we're still here we're still queer we're still fighting for you and we will not be silenced by that administration and it's just so admirable because you see so many chicken shit cowards in the United States right now that, that want to be pick me and they want to be popular to everyone.

1:02:03And just, I just, I really like how vocal you guys are. So hit it. Yeah. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Okay. All right. Uh, how did her hit it? JD Vance. I have had it with all of those fucking straight white men. Bye. Bye. Send them off to an island. okay last one had it or hit it the united states of america i would say i don't oh that's really hard because i don't recognize this america this is not the america i recognize i will say that and we have a long way to go to come back so i'm gonna say i've had it with this in this moment what america looks like and feels like i've had it yeah i think it's very fair.

1:02:54Like, honestly, we should all have it have had it with what they're doing right now and the way they're treating people. Yeah. And I read, I think the other thing is Jennifer is like, you can you can I can say, you know, as someone who represented their country for a very long time, who like putting your hand over your heart and singing the national anthem and representing your country meant everything in the world to you. But like, I have to be clear when I say this, even though we've had it with this current climate and political landscape, let me be very clear. Like we do the work. We show up.

1:03:31We're not sitting here and we're like, someone else will do it. We'll just keep staying hopeful. Oh, fuck that. No, no, no. I'm rolling my sleeves up. And no matter how big or small my community is, this microphone or platform, like I go for it. And I need more people like ruffling feathers and going for it and building within their community, like truth and care and empathy and connection. Like we have to get back. Yeah. But like so many people are isolated and like, it's almost like they're frozen. I'm like, no, no, no. Thought out, honey, go to Florida, go on a quick vacation. I don't know, figure it out, but you need to come back fighting because it's going to take everyone.

1:04:12I agree. I agree with that. And I think it's, it's so important that all of us continue without fear and we exercise every right that we have every single day which is why i always call steven miller and katie miller white nationalist nazis without hesitation without fear of anything because that is my right and that's why i love you and i want you to never change ashlyn harris i love you i want our double date please we need to have a five person i know i need to be involved how long are you here just move here what are you doing uh just wait more days husky to die oh oh jesus okay well we'll bless bless up bless up to that lesbian god we'll we'll send we'll send that doggie to the good place the queer place bounce from rainbow to rainbow yes all right ashen we love you tell sophia hello thank you for coming on our pod.

1:05:12Yes. Thank you. It was a blast. Love you both. Bye darling. Thanks for having me. All right. Listener that she's cool. She's cool. We're cool. She's an athlete. Some people could say I'm an athlete. You say you're an athlete. I don't think anybody else does. I think she's right. Nobody says I'm an athlete except for me, which means that I'm an athlete. Um, all right. Uh, buy our book. It is called life is a lazy Susan and shit sandwiches. It's right here hang on and here here's something i can show you we you can it's the it's the it stocking stuffer but like we can move it over to we're having so much fun today without a producer we got our own studio set up which is why the lights which is why we look like idiots but hey you know what we did it show goes on the show goes on subscribe to our podcast um and we will see you next tuesday and thursday

1:06:11I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called iHip News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw!

1:06:54A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw! That's it. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.

1:07:08Thank you.