The Graham Reaper

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1:07So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots, brown-triots, we love you. And all of the triple Trumpers can do what, Pumps? Fuck off! All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, it pains me greatly to say this. But what I've had it with is my one-year-old French bulldog, Matilda Denise, named after Jennifer. Her new thing is, and she's done it like, I would say 12 out of the last 20 nights. And last night, it went on for eight minutes. She goes out the dog door in the middle of the night. And she goes in and out the dog door 50 times a day.

1:52and she goes out she sticks her head through the dog door and she cries but she won't just move in the dog door so last night I timed it because I was just like okay if I keep going and opening the dog door or opening the door and getting her in it's just gonna this is just gonna continue so last night after eight minutes I finally gave in so I've had it what do I do so wait let me understand she will poke her head through but not her whole body through correct and it's not like she can't get in and out she does it 50 times a day but at night she wants me to open the door you can't do it what I can't lay there long enough and do it or I can't you can't open the door for if she wants in eventually she'll come in eight minutes is not that long at two o 'clock in the morning it seems like it's the longest in the whole world the other two dogs are looking at me like what the fuck is your problem that this continues to happen what do you think it is with the dog what do you think she's doing just showing me that she's the master i don't know i don't know that there's like some deep analysis for it i think it's probably dark and she's you know maybe can't see very well and she's like hey are you there is anybody in there you know and then you open the door and she's like okay there she is maybe she's scared but when i looked at like the five minute mark she had her head in she could see me but it's your dark, presumably the room, right?

3:36Yeah. And I guess I do have the sound machine on, so it's loud. But anyway, I'm just, I'm at the end of my rope with her on that. So I guess I'll just pop up and open it up. I don't know what to do. Shut the dog door in the middle of the night. Then I'm afraid she'll poop inside. I mean, I think you have a history of allowing the children and the dogs to run you and then you're bitter about the things that you enable i feel like we've had this conversation for 25 years it's just the subject matter of the person that you're enabling hasn't changed has changed and now that your kids are all adults we've shifted on to dogs we've allowed dogs to run the whole that's what i think i've had the same conversation with you about your oldest son about your daughter about your youngest son about your wolf about your elder french bulldog and now about the youngest i know i know but this seems to me like she's really trying to test me like really think she's got it out for you i just think she wants to dig like on she's the boss of like the other two dogs, even this 75 pound Husky.

4:53So I think she just wants to make sure I know she is the boss of me. I want to go with that. I'll go with that. I think that's good. Let's go with that. Kylie, do you think we should go with that? I like that. And she might be right. Yeah. I think that I think that's exactly what she's doing. I think the one year old French bulldog Matilda Denise is like, fuck this bitch. I'm going to let her know that I rule the night and that she isn't anything. Okay. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. What is it? Okay. I've had it when you're in a waiting room, like for a doctor, this happened to me recently.

5:27Okay. And there's like 15 chairs in the waiting room, receptionist desk and 15 chairs. I'm sitting in one chair. Okay. The next patient comes in, checks in. Not of all of the other 14 chairs available, sat down right next to me. That should be illegal. That is horrible. I literally like leaned forward and kind of like looked and I'm like, am I missing something? And I looked everywhere and it's so strange because the psychology of sitting is really interesting. Like if I get on a subway and it's really crowded, but I see there's one little sliver that I can fit in. I'm going to go over there and I'm going to be like shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm, germs, COVID, you know, no, just complete germ sharing.

6:21But in a doctor's office like that, in a waiting room like that, in an airport waiting area, you, it's just the rule. It's the unspoken rule that you don't sit right next to the other person when there are other chairs available that you can get distance from. For example, I'll use my subway example. If a car were completely empty and one gal was sitting on the seat, I wouldn't go and sit down right next to her shoulder to shoulder, elbow to elbow, hip to hip, knee to knee. I would sit across and kind of down because I'm a normal person for the most part. I know listener and viewer, there's a lot of probably pushback from that and I accept that.

7:03I accept a lot of that. But in this instance in this one place i'm a normal person i don't go sit down next to people in lobbies or in places when there are other spaces available but this gal came and sat down right next to me and here's the kicker we've got snot we've got coughing we have i could just i could feel the aura of her and i could just tell like this woman has got an infection viral infection i'm certain she's contagious and so if you want to say do you think matilda denise is fucking with you imagine how i felt when this gal comes and sits next to me in the doctor's office waiting room when there were 14 other chairs available and these chairs had no no arms these weren't like club chairs these were like chairs that were abutted right up next to each other.

8:00And so like when she sat down, our arms were kind of touching. Okay. You've answered the question about, first of all, I think of all the places to do this, it's the biggest violation to do it in a doctor's office. Number one, cause there's germs. I mean, there's germs everywhere, but like somebody say, but do you think she wanted to talk to you? Did she strike up a conversation? No. So it wasn't like she just thought, Oh, she's interesting. I'm going to talk to her this no she's just a fucking freak sabotager freak who just thought hmm i think i'm gonna fuck with this lady today which i'm kind of like you know like i'm at the stage where i'm just like in the fascist takeover where not that stuff not that much stuff surprises me but this really like it really surprised me that surprises me i just couldn't do i just couldn't believe she sat down right next to me no i cannot believe that that that is really like normally it's people like at an airport like they put their purse next to them so nobody sits next to them this woman she just wanted to be right that shit pisses me off too yeah i mean if there's an overabundance of seats if there's if there's plenty of seats i have no issue with it right but if it's crap if you've got a really highly populated gate and you've got delays and you're just dying to sit down and some gal has her roll at roll away and then a purse and then you know a giant oversized cafe latte macatini whatever the fuck these things are called right and then a water bottle and all this shit and and they're taking up two seats and you see that there are people standing that's bullshit and that's selfish.

9:46Yeah, I agree. Totally agree. It's better to bumper. You have to, oh, sorry. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie. Hi. I've got two comments from Spotify that I thought were really important to share. This one's from Ang3582. And she says, JD Vance is a pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, and a pussy. I love that. I think a lot of these are in response to us saying, I've had it with people on the left trying to be the word police telling us we can't call JD Vance a pussy. Like because vaginas are these magical instruments that do childbirth. That's not what we're talking about.

10:28We're not talking about vaginas. We're talking about whining, submissive men that are pussies have nothing to do with vaginas equally have nothing to do with the cat, the pussy cat. these are three different categories of this use of the same word right agree yeah like there's a pussy and a pussy is like jd vance the late lindsey graham which we'll get to momentarily um donald trump's a pussy okay for john jr don jr's a pussy eric dumb and dumber they're pussies and then you have a cat a pussycat which that is a pussy but it's a completely different pussy than the one before and then you have the vagina and all of these things have the same moniker but completely different meanings and if people on the left can't grasp that then we deserve to lose because very simple argument pat it with the word please okay the other comment is from erin and she says i need three hour long episodes of just jen and pumps making fun of republicans so that i can get through my work day I love laughing to these ladies as I disassociate from the craziness that is our current state of affairs.

11:38Thank you, Erin. Thank you, Erin. You know what I would love? What would you love? I would love Jennifer to do a whole three-hour episode in Melania's voice. That's my favorite.

11:54My husband is on fire. i can't i came to united states on einstein epstein visa i mean visa i do not know jeffrey epstein because i study mathematics I'm fucking broad. I mean, my God, that shit is just, it's so ridiculous. Okay. Um, I want to talk about Lindsey Graham. Okay. So obviously we all wake up and everybody's like, you know, when are we going to get the message about Mitch McConnell? You know, like it's going to happen any 22nd now, right? Well, I wake up and I have a text from Don Lemon. And it's like, at 4am. And it's like, Lindsey Graham is dead. And I was like, holy shit. So then I, you know, immediately have to turn on the news, which I haven't really been turning the news that much, because I'm so like, disenchanted with corporate news.

12:56But I was like, I want to watch the wall to wall coverage of this. Like, this is great. And then there was this photo that I saw online. This is the last known photograph that Lady Graham took because, you know, he had just been in the Ukraine. Right. And so he took a photograph with a drone. Kylie, pop this up. Okay. For those of you that are listening. Okay. This drone looks like a big giant black cock. All right. There's just no other way around it. He is smiling from ear to ear. he is holding the black cock and the interesting thing about this drone is it's called the p1 sun and it's like in in russian it means they call it the penis this drone is called the penis and so this is the shit with i cannot believe like you know back in the day would watch movies or shows and you would think oh that's so crazy like about the president or about the united that that's crazy i'm so glad that would never happen we're living in the time period we're like that's from that's for an episode of veep that's an episode of lindsey graham holding a big giant black cock that is called penis in russian and that's his last known photograph before he dies if i saw that on veep i would think that's hilarious but that would never happen.

14:27I mean, you just would never think that would actually happen. First of all, who names drones? Penis. Well, when they look like black cocks, I think you do. I think that I think that's really not even that creative when you look at the what that drone looked like. I mean, I think cock or penis. It's just like a penis. It does. Yeah. And look at how happy Lindsay is. Well, we know why Lindsay's so happy. You know, he died. He died after he was groping a penis, a black cock that was made for mass destruction. This is like exactly what he was. There's one photograph that just completely consolidates exactly who he was.

15:08He liked cock, as we all know, you know, the worst kept secret in Washington, D.C. And he liked killing, you know, the biggest war hawk on the planet. it and there he is with a black cock that kills right before he dies i mean that could not be a better epitaph right there that picture okay let's cover some news stories maha has a new dating app pop this up anti-vaxxers are coupling up on apps for unjected singles this is some of the advertising for the app pop up the ad the world's first

15:55unvaccinated platform love friendship and community connections since 2021 the app reportedly has more than 100 000 users but based on one-star reviews on the app store many of these users are bots. Unjected was founded by 32-year-old Shelby Hosanna, who calls herself a peaceful anarchist, who describes Unjected as a divine mission. She has three children of her own who have religious exemptions to be unvaccinated at school and at community events. Here's some more from the article about this. Unjected describes itself as a platform to connect those who share like-minded values in the convictions to remain unvaccinated.

16:50The app began operations in 2021. Unjected's users are competing for a relatively small pool of potential partners. According to national surveys, roughly one in five U.S. adults had still not gotten the COVID vaccine a year after it was rolled out and yet unjected is one of several dating sites that sprung up in the wake of the pandemic catering to unvaccinated singles including unjabbed.net and unjuiced.date novax.singles and pureblood.dating pureblood that doesn't sound nazi at all does it yeah no that doesn't sound like people are giving sig hiles at their dates um all of these apps are still operational and targeted at people who chose not to receive the COVID-19 vaccine.

17:43Many users say they received some vaccinations during childhood. So should we be relieved that these people are self-selecting themselves out of normal dating apps or simply concerned that pureblood.dating is a real website that exists in the year 2026? What about both? I'm I think they're probably lie. I mean, I'm glad they're with each other. They can give each other all kinds of diseases. I'm wondering if you're this hot and bothered about you don't want a vaccine because it's your body, your choice. How are you getting a guy to wear a condom? That's one of my questions. Wait, do you think they are wearing condoms?

18:26No, I think these are people that are like, let it ride. Right. They have great seed. I think there's no condoms on unvaxxed, if I were guessing. So I think stay with each other. But I just think that many people that are unvaccinated just shows you how stupid people are. Just stupid. Their stupidity will kill them. But I did a whole I did. No, I did a whole episode. Conservatives are dying at a much higher rate than liberals right now. No, I know their science scientific study behind it. Their stupidity is killing them. They're dying of their own whiteness. But I wish that it would be like right now today.

19:06Like, I wish it was like the rapture of unvaccinated. Wait, hold up. You want them all to die? All 100 ,000? No, I'm just saying, if you're not vaccinated and you're ready for the rapture, let's bring it. Let's do it today. I'm all in. Go, go, go, go, go. That's what I'm saying. Just get rid of them now. I visited unjuiced.date. And on the main website, it says that the rules are you, you can't be vaccinated. You also can't have ever been intimate with anyone that had the jab. Like it's contagious. like i know people i mean i've read i don't know people but that people that think if you've had the vaccine that like your bad juju can transfer to other people i mean i don't know when we've got all these diseases and now we've got food toxins and crazy shit because people are just too stupid to just follow the rules just to follow science drives me fucking bananas well i mean my thing is if if these people don't want to get vaccinated and they want to date each other i'd say good i think that's really good i think it's great that they pulled them out of mainstream dating and that they're going to die on this hill of stupidity and i just i just think that this is just further evidence that the conservative movement they they are so profoundly anti-science and anti-life that all of these people are you know probably going to kill each other before and they could live long but that's their choice it's a free country i'm not i do i mean i'm for vaccines um this is probably an issue where i'm not like as far I don't think there should be vaccine mandates.

21:02If you don't want to get a vaccine and you want to go roll around and get measles and all of this shit, it's just dumb as fuck, but go do it. Swing for the fences. That's it. It's, I believe in science. I believe in medical research and data and the history of all of it. And that's the way I want to live. But if these people want to do all this shit and then they are signing up and websites and we know exactly who they are, they've, they're registering themselves as idiots i think this is a great service i mean like if your kids are dating somebody you're like well let's see if she's a nut or not you could pull up the you know true blood or whatever this nazi shit is and be like oh she's on this site you might not want to date her honey you know what it's like a stupidity registry registry more than anything else no i think that i i agree with all that the only problem i have is when you're spreading it.

21:57Like the measles, when that outbreak was going on, I'm getting, you know, like there's kids that are in, you know, we found out somebody was on campus corner that wasn't vaccinated. Your child might be, so I was thinking, as my kid had been vaccinated, but I just like, so now you're spreading your stupid shit, your stupidity. But I guess with, I mean, I agree though, if you don't want to get a vaccine, that's entirely your business. But when it makes somebody else sick, that's when I think, okay, no more. it's it's a cultural problem where these people are so hell-bent on and this is why fascism is blossoming so much because they're so uh anti-status quo and they're so hell-bent on uh dismantling expertise that they're going to all kill themselves much earlier i hope so all right um we have another story here a new concept for couples has been going viral on the internet pop this up couples are now getting airport divorce for the sake of their sanity and here's an excerpt don't worry it's not as dark as it sounds traveling brings out the absolute worst in us which is why the internet is currently obsessed with the concept of the airport divorce The premise is simple.

23:15From the second you drop your bags at TSA until you reach your actual gate, you and your partner are officially single. You navigate the airport at your own pace, grab your own snacks and meet at the gate. Zero bickering required. So, Pumps, what do you think about that? I think that's brilliant. I think a lot of people fight at the airport. I mean, I think perfect. That sounds great. I love it. what do you got josh and i one of our biggest fights we ever got in we were coming back from mexico the kids were really little and we were going through airport control and you have to go through those you know snakes through roped off lines and josh i went under a thing to like cut because there wasn't that long of a line i went under so then josh opened up unlocked one of the rope things and kind of opened it for the kids to go through but after the kids went through it was like a flood of people then come out there and I was like Josh you need to put that back like you're gonna be separated from me and the kids and he's like I don't know what to do I would I don't know what to do and he was like god damn it Jennifer like it was my fault and they put the thing up and I go why are you being such a dick and it was just like that airport like we were both already at a 10 and then it escalated so we kind of after that we'd die laughing about it we started doing this in general but here's my fucking problem with this I'm all about the divorce in the airport.

24:43Josh and I pretty much do this. The problem is you have to ride that divorce all the way until you are seated on the plane with your own shit with the seatbelt on, because here's what my husband tries to do to me. He is notorious, notorious for we're sitting in the, in the lounge by the gate for 45 minutes to an hour, 45 minutes to an hour have gone by that a person that has been on this planet, it as long as he has. Could kind of do the deduction that I'm about to get on this bird that's up in the air. And it has one, possibly two toilets in it, if I'm lucky to, but more than likely one. This airport has a lot of toilets in it.

25:27So I probably need to go empty my bladder now and not wait until I get on the bird. Josh, we get in line and he's like,

25:42I gotta go pee and then I get stuck with that bunkers back and I mean I have like steam coming out of my ears and like we'd been like divorced like we were living by this policy and then I get sabotaged so now I'm telling you probably the last eight years or so I'm adamant he's like I've got to go to the bathroom like you have to take all your shit take every shit he's like but it's and I'm like I can't I'm not doing this I'm going I'm getting on that plane when my boarding group is called because I'm a normal person and I already went to the bathroom and I've already handled that I'm not going to get on the on the airplane and have issues but he always has issues on these you know what this I'm so glad this was the story okay this I was driving through your neighborhood and it just flashed in my mind about you throwing the milk at Josh when you were like 100 months pregnant.

26:40Yeah. And I got so tickled. So tell that story again because it's like one of my favorites. Okay. So I'm like nine months pregnant, summer of 2006, Oklahoma City, late July. I'm like nine months pregnant. I'm miserable. I'm obviously morbidly obese with said baby in my belly um it had been a hundred over 100 degrees for days and days and days and days and days and i went to old navy and i bought five black wife beater tops and five pair of i think they're called galachis or like gauchos gauchos gauchos gaucho pants. And I had like this thing that came up over the belly. And I had decided at this stage in the pregnancy, I was just wearing all black.

27:32And so I bought this and I didn't really discuss it with anybody because it was just every day I woke up and I thought I'm having the baby today because it's impossible for me to be any larger. Much to my surprise, I'd go to bed that night, dreaming about eating food the entire time I was asleep. And then I'd wake up and there's no kicking i mean they're a little bit of kicking but absolutely no contractions nothing happened right so i went to target and i have my three-year-old with me and i pull up in the driveway from target i'm stocking up on like milk toilet paper all the and josh pulls up and he's like thin and he's in like this great suit and he has the air conditioner blowing on him and he looked great he looked really great and so he got out of the car and i'm hot i have like sweat marks like i was so pregnant my blood was just going and i'm not a big sweater but i had like even through the black you could see it was like a full pancake probably went down like six inches i'd under under boob sweat i had crotch sweat i had crotch sweat right so that's and i felt disgusting unattractive not sexual i felt like a parasitic hosting site which i was right and so he gets out of the car in this like great armani suit or something he just gone from court and he goes hey and i'm like hey and i'm grabbing like grocery bags and i have a toddler on one head and this huge giant belly and he goes you wearing your uniform again today

29:17and in the back of my car for the groceries and so there was a carton of horizon milk and so i reached in there and i grabbed the horizon milk and i looked at him and i went you threw it at him he ducks like he's you know he's like cat-like reactions because he's not 575 pounds like I was and and no just hits the ground just explodes I was such a nut I was like hormonal and just like that and that's just like I imagine I imagine that that's what it's like to be MAGA every day every day you're that mad just unhinged just you know just you know it was kind of fun it's kind of liberating I don't regret it no I mean just so you were in the uniform today and it elicited just I mean it was just complete rage rage and it was just a culminating effect of I had gotten out of my car i'm sitting like 106 degree i already taken one load in and dylan's like mommy mommy i want to stay with you and i'm like fuck you know and i'm just like i'm gonna have to carry the kid back and forth with one bag at a time and then that fucker pulls up and i'll never forget it his hair was like blowing with the air conditioners on full blast and again i had all those sweat marks and i did my outfit was awful he was right it was a uniform and i think that's why i got so mad because there was so much truth to it you know what i mean it was like he really fucking owned me right now right you know and but i'm pregnant with his child and he needs to not be a dick but there was so much truth and precision in what he said in the way like oh are you wearing your oh are you wearing your outfit again today like gosh she's getting more and more and it and i remember too when we like this when you're pregnant i was so emotional like i cried all the time all the time.

31:29I never cry ever. No, but I was even more emotional after I had the baby, but I started not sleeping. Like you could look at me crosswise and I would cry. I mean, I was ball baby all the time. I was like, Oh my gosh, all the time. It was horrible. Horrible. It's horrible. I feeling that many emotions. I guess that's also like MAGA, You know, they're so emotional. I couldn't handle feeling all of those emotions all the time. No, I would hate it. I don't like it. As you can tell, that's why I threw milk at my husband. Yeah, but that was so classic. I only wish I would have been sitting on the porch to witness it.

32:09After I just got my last pellet shot or, you know, thing. Did you get the pellet crammed up your ass again? Not crammed. Yes, crammed up my ass. But you got it crammed in your ass. No, I got it put in my butt cheek. But isn't the butt cheek the ass? Yeah, but you're making it sound like the rectum, like the angel. I didn't say asshole. I said ass. Okay. It's in my ass cheek. I noticed I got teared up. Oh, you did? Watching a social media. Not like full crying, but like it was a fucking Taylor Swift deal about this guy that he gave this scholarship to. And he was like a person that cleaned the seats at her concert.

32:48And she heard him singing and she did all this for him. And I'm like teared up. And I was like, that's fucking weird. And then something else just completely random on social media. And I was like, oh, I have too much estrogen. That's what it is. Because I was just like, something is not right. And this is what I think about these MAGA men. I think we've got a low T situation, high E, low T, high E. Yeah. And they're submissive, hysterical, emotional, freaking out. I don't know if you've seen this since Lady Graham died. Okay. all of these MAGA influencers, the Katie Miller and all the other freaks are, I can't believe the way the left is reacting to Lindsey Graham.

33:36These people are horrible human beings. And it's like, find the, find the one that Trump wrote about Rob Reiner. When their leader is just like the most depraved fucking person on the planet. Yeah. But here's the thing. It's not like I'm not happy that Lindsey died. I'm not sad that Lindsay died. I mean, I'm just kind of apathetic. And I also think like, you know, we have this really old ruling class, this old guard, and they're all going to start dropping like flies. But I mean, it's not like he had any kids or a wife, you know, for me to feel bad about. Here's the thing, too, about the Lindsay Graham thing.

34:15I mean, when you look at Lindsay Graham, I mean, he was hateful. He wasn't, I mean, he was every bit as hateful as Charlie Kirk with, but I mean, he was like, let's go in there and kill people. I mean, he was, he's homicidal. He was a war hawk. Yeah. He was a demonic war hawk. I mean, truly. Yeah. I mean, just a real, a real nut. A real, real nut. And I've read so many articles about him and people are, oh yeah, read it. So it says a very, a very sad thing happened last night in Hollywood. Rob Reiner, a tortured and struggling, but once very talented movie director and comedy star has passed away together with his wife, Michelle, reportedly due to the anger he caused others through his massive, unyielding and incurable affliction with a mind crippling disease known as Trump derangement syndrome.

35:07Goes on and on with all this crazy shit. So in MAGA world, here's a man, Donald Trump, who finds out that Rob Reiner, who was critical of the president, as millions of people globally are. And this horrific thing, his son's like an addict, schizophrenic. I mean, complete horrible situation. The murder had zero, zero to do with Donald Trump. Yeah, zero. This motherfucker sends out the meanest tweet on the planet and basically says he was killed because he had Trump derangement syndrome. And then the people who support that guy want to lecture everybody else about how we're supposed to behave when Lindsey Graham, who now all of these sex workers that he worked with are, you know, NDAs aren't really applicable anymore now that he's dead.

35:56Apparently, Lindsey, you know, dressed up in his red panties and did gay stuff at night, which we all knew. but you know now it's it's just and it's just like you know at the end of the day you know maybe we can do a coffee table book pumps maybe we do a coffee table book of all the closet magamon lindsey can be our cover girl too big for a coffee table like there are so many like you would have to be like bigger like i i don't know what kind of book but there it's just it's unbelievable. Who would you put on the cover? Lady Graham or Big Titty Brian? I think you have to do Lindsey Graham because everybody's known about this for years and years and years.

36:42But I thought, you know, I saw talking about Lindsey Graham that I just thought, hmm, Biddy Johnson. I was like, hmm. All right, Lister, how many times have you been scrolling online and then you get marketed some gadget or some cream that you think, oh God, that looks like it's incredible. And you order it and it's horrible. It was a complete waste of money. Well, this is why I no longer do that. And I'm completely obsessed with dupe.com. So here's why I think using dupe is so important. You enter in their research for me tool, something you're looking for like great wrinkle cream, and it produces a bunch of wrinkle creams and it tells you what to buy.

37:27But even more important, it tells you what not to buy. It goes through a ton of options, pulls from real sources that people actually trust, filters out sponsored links and recommendations, and just gives you a straight answer on what to buy and why. Listener, if it takes research to buy it, let Dupe do it for you. Stop wasting time comparing options. Just go to dupe.com and tell it what you're looking to buy. That's d-u-p-e.com to finally feel confident about what to buy. All right, I am a big, big believer in downtime. So after we film and cover all of the stuff that we cover on these podcasts, I love to go home and snuggle up with a blanket.