The Musk of Desperation

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1:02so we're supposed to start the podcast ready one two three patriots gay triots they triots

1:11Angie Sullivan:black triots brown triots anybody who didn't vote for trump any of the three times we love you even if you voted for one if you voted the first time and you completely have buyer's remorse we'll let you in uh but all of the triple trumpers especially all of those making asses of themselves clapping like seals at Trumpapalooza freak show can do what, Pumps? It's a big trifecta today on I've Had It. We've got Pumps. We've got me. We've got Josh Welch. Josh, what have you had it with? I'm going to re-up a couple of past hadits that are old, and it's a hybrid. It has to do with ordering food. I've had it with I've had it with the person that takes the order having to read the order back to you in full.

2:03That's number one. I'll elaborate on that. Number two, I've had it with the forced receipt. And I confront these two habits daily. So I'm going to re-up the first one. Let's say I call in an order for our family. Six people, five people, four people. Someone wants cheese on their burger. Someone doesn't. And I, of course, want a side of this, a side of that. And so it takes about 10 minutes to order. And so then she wants to read it back to me. And it's like, okay, we've got, and I don't want any part of that. So I like to say up front that, okay, I'm going to waive you reading the order. And I'm going to assume any responsibility with any errors that are made when I come and get the food.

2:50Because I'm the one that opted not to verify the order. So I'm going to own that. I'm going to take ownership in that. I'm going to say that up front. And I do that to them. And a lot of times they understand. A lot of times they're baffled. The second thing is, is on this receipt thing. We had one particular drive through in Oklahoma City. It was Brahms and also Neptune subs. They would always give me the receipt and I would never want to take it. And then one time they gave me the receipt and I tried to give it back to them. and they told me they didn't accept trash from outside the restaurant.

3:25And then I had to explain to them that you just gave me the receipt. This isn't trash. And so here, you take it back. And they said, no. You know, like Starbucks and some of these stores have the policies that we don't allow outdoor trash where you can't hand that to us. So I have to battle that kind of shit day in and day out. These are the kind of problems that I'm dealing with in Oklahoma. And I want everybody to know about it. And I've had it. It's hilarious.

3:53Angie Sullivan:I'm sorry. You go, Pops. You go. Here's my thing. I completely agree with you on the receipts. I've never in my life made a purchase with a card that they didn't charge my account. So a receipt is superfluous. They always charge you. I disagree vehemently with the readback of the order because I too, I'm a cider, I'm a not this, no tomato kind of thing. And I feel like I feel very secure in my order when they read it back and they say, no, this, no, that you want a side of this. and also taking it one step further if i go to a restaurant and i you know we all sit down and somebody takes the order and they don't write anything down the entire time i'm thinking they're fucking up the order they're fucking the order up there's no way they didn't write it down they're never going to know all this sometimes they do sometimes i don't i'd say it's about the same as the people that write the order but just my my serenity during the time the food is being prepared is off because I'm just thinking they're fucking it up.

5:04They're fucking it up. And pumps, I respect that, but I'm willing to accept that. There's been many times when I get the order back, I get the order back and it's incorrect. And so then I just have one person to blame. I just think, God damn it, Josh, you know, but that just happens. I figured the time that I save over a 365 day period by not having to hear the order read back is worth the one or two fuck ups that I'm going to accept that I'm going to claim ownership in. So that's my logic on it. But I respect the fact that, you know, just like everything else in America, you have a choice for the readback.

5:38I have a choice not to have the readback. And the fact that we're different doesn't bother us. Yeah.

5:45Angie Sullivan:I eat with both of you quite a bit and it's a challenge. Both of you have a lot of, there's rarely an instance where pumps and or Josh order something exactly the way it's presented on the menu, particularly with pumps. There's rarely an instance that something comes out to the table that it is not immediately sent back to the kitchen. And oftentimes if the waitress isn't back over to check, pumps just has the plate in her hand and she's marching straight back to the kitchen herself. She just, I mean, it is. Are you kind of a restaurant? Oh, she's a Total restaurant, Karen, of the highest order.

6:25Angie Sullivan:Oh, I mean, she is a full-blown restaurant, Karen. All right. Okay. It's good to know. I mean, let's not even get started on lukewarm queso. That is my oldest was telling me that his girlfriend was asking, well, what's your mom like? Well, she's pretty laid back, but there are a few things that she just, her head spins off. She's like, what? She's like, he's like lukewarm case. It's like, that's embarrassing. It is Karen. It's Karen city. I'm not proud of it. Pumps. All right. So, and then one, just one note on the receipt. This is hilarious. If you're ever in the car with Josh, they'll hand him his card with the receipt on top of it.

7:12Angie Sullivan:And what I see from the passenger seat is him go in and he goes, I don't want that receipt. And he just puts his hands on the card only. And he's like, you take that receipt. It's a maneuver. It's like the receipt. He doesn't even allow anything to touch it. He doesn't like grab both and go, here, toss this for me. He goes and he makes this. Yeah, he maneuvers around. MacGyver is just getting the card. But here's why. Because when I accept both back, then sometimes they won't take the trash back. So it's a maneuver. Right. So I have to just slide in and get the card. But copetate it. I have done that.

7:47And one time I actually dropped a credit card where I had to like open the door, get out of the car because I'm trying to maneuver it. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. All right, Poms, what have you had it with?

8:26Okay. I'm so happy on this day that this is my habit and Josh Welch is here because I think he'll have my back. Okay. Okay. I love to go to a movie. When I go to a movie, I like popcorn and I like a Coke, a real live Coke, no diet, no zero. I want the whole thing. Amen. Increasingly, I'm finding when you go to places, I went to a movie. I was so excited about the popcorn was perfect. Everything was perfect. And I said, I'll have a Coke. And they said, we live Pepsi. Is that okay? Nope. No, no, no, no, no. That is not okay. then i went into like a like a fast food taco i was getting a fried taco like just fucking clog your arteries eat the calories give me a coke with it we only have pepsi what is happening in trump's america can you only drink pepsi what i thought we had choices as americans it's an have you noticed this uptick no i've had it a few times like at the airport there's only Pepsi in certain stores.

9:35What's going on? I don't know. It seems very un-American to me. Very. I mean, very, very Republican-esque. I totally have your back though, because when you're pulling up to a movie and you want the Coke, I mean, and there is a difference in Coke and Pepsi for those of us that engage in drinking soda every single day of our lives. Sorry. But it's a travesty and it's a huge letdown. And what I face a lot when we travel is that I get the Coke Zero, even though I've ordered Coke, they give me a Coke Zero sometimes. I can't even begin to go off on that. It's just undrinkable. So pumps, I'm in your camp on that, especially at the movies or if you're at a street vendor and you're looking forward to that Coke because that Coke has more of a zing to it.

10:27Yeah. Like when you drink, especially if you can get one of those Mexican Cokes, one of the tall ones. Those have a lot. So I support, I support that pumps and I get it.

10:38Angie Sullivan:Yeah. All right. I've had it with my dogs again. And particularly I've had it with the older one, Tubby. So he has epilepsy, as you all know. So he has seizures. I have to give him all this medication has to be perfectly timed. They both end up, when I'm out of town, I come back. They both have kennel cough. They have snotty noses for three weeks. Cha-Cha is like just snot coming out of her nose, coughing. They can't go to school. They can't go to dog parks. They can't do anything. And then all of a sudden, this thing shows up in Tebby's mouth, and it looks like a wort. And it's growing at like a really rapid pace.

11:23Angie Sullivan:So take a picture, text it to the vet. He's like, yeah, this is like mouth warts and it's highly contagious. He can't go to the dog park. He cannot go to school. If you walk, you make sure he doesn't get close to other dogs, blah, blah. So I'm just like, oh my God. And these little twats, these dogs, I know what went down. They're probably, when I'm out of town, they're probably at the dog park or at school. And he's probably crotch sniffing. and he got some vaginal wart in his mouth that's highly contagious because he's just got to get his nose yeah just right up on somebody's twat or right up in a rectum and he's just sniffing away maybe gave it a lick and then we've got mouth stds yeah and so i've had sick dogs for three weeks with little snotty noses i it's like having toddlers again i have to wipe their little noses tubby's got an std in his fucking mouth from the streets of new york from some dog park somewhere and so i mean and of course they are fine because they don't particularly like the dog parks um they do if they can sit with me and watch the other dogs but i've just had like sick dogs with these elements and now we have an std in the mouth for tubs my dog my dog my dog sticks his mouth in his nose right up in that shit.

12:51Angie Sullivan:You got a penis, you have a vag, you got an asshole. My name is Tebby and I'm here to get right up in that shit. And what happened to Tebby is now he's got mouth warts, four of them to be exact. And he is banned. He is banned. The vet said banned from socializing with other animals. So is Tebby bisexual? He's bi. Yeah. He's been bisexual for a long time. You know, Angie's Wolf was completely attracted to Tubby for a very long time. He was actually sniffing Tubby's penis and his ass quite a bit. I even saw licking going on. But Tubby, of course, was STD free at this moment. So, Blaze, your dog didn't get any STDs.

13:33Angie Sullivan:And I don't know what slutty dog on the streets of New York in Momdonna Stan. You know, we elect a socialist mayor and now we've got dog STDs all over the place. And so I don't know. I don't know which little tramp out in the out in the streets of Manhattan started this STD. But now Tubby has fallen prey to it because of his bisexuality, which is another reason that I guess we all should have voted Republican. Well, so Tubby's out tramping around at the doggy daycare. Is that right? Daycare and or the park. I think it's probably the park where he got it. OK. Pumps, what do you think about that?

14:12i have you see i i feel so much i i feel for you jennifer because the same thing happened to me with my dogs with the kennel cough and the snotty and i just didn't realize so much snot could fly

14:24Angie Sullivan:out of a dog like let me ask you a question on the on this on the kennel cough you know how frenchies like reverse yes were they reverse sneezing more frequently okay yes so we're like out in the streets and if you don't or if you're not familiar with the reverse sneeze it seems like the dog is like having a mini dying then right yeah so chach she chacha loves to walk the streets of new york like she has just moved to this city made it her own and she has a passion and a place in this city it's such a quick rate it's really remarkable this dog so she hits the streets and she's like this is my town and she's just going and and you know she has those incidents with the german shepherds that we've talked about on previous episodes but we're getting through that and then all of a sudden she starts the reverse sneeze and then everybody comes by and they're looking at her and then i have to go down and do this thing and she does it like every i'm running it i've got a goddamn veterinary hospital with stds reverse sneeze kennel cough epilepsy i didn't even talk about tubby's arthritis and his eyes his eye drops chronic dry eye here's the thing i've had it i've had i love them i will i will do anything on the planet but i've just i've i've been caring for these sick dogs and i know you have two because i think blaze the bisexual wolf has also been very ill yes and he's on i have so much like i could run a veterinary uh pharmacy with all the shit he's on.

16:00I'll just add that this one horrible thing about my little dog, who's the cutest in the whole world named after Jennifer Matilda Denise. Matilda Denise, to your point about sticking your face in the rectum, she goes and she eats poop. That is her snack of choice. She runs around. So I, the dog school sent me a thing that I ordered. She has to wear it. Like when she goes outside she has to wear a hairnet over that kind of just has you know how you have a hairnet it has the elastic like a bathing cap or whatever it's like a hairnet but it goes on her neck so that she can't scavenge do you have a picture of this i'll send it to kylie i don't i mean i haven't taken a picture my daughter's on me to take a picture too but i'll send i'll send a picture but yeah she's wearing and it's like glittery and has a satin ribbon but this dog eats shit so much i have to put a thing on her head is this similar to you wearing the rubber glove in any way did she learn this from you yeah she probably did but it wasn't even my idea because the vet had said you like she can't eat all this poop so i was putting powder on everybody's poop she ate right through the powder hang on hang on why don't you just pick up the poop why the powder no i i do pick up the poop but i mean legitimately jennifer if one of my dogs poops it's not even out of their ass before she has run over she likes it warm it's i can't wait what's the purpose of the powder the powder was supposed to make like i put the powder on the dog food that all three of my dogs would eat i put the powder on the food when they ate it which was supposed to make it undesirable to her but it didn't it she just ate through it she ate through it so now is this common

17:57Angie Sullivan:what do they say about this is psychological is what uh they said that i mean the vet said she might grow out of it because she's had this since jim she might grow out of it she hasn't grown out of it so uh she said some dogs just eat shit that's what i just have one question is this powder is it's made specially for to blend with shit or is it no it's like a powder that you can put in dog's food that will cause other dogs not to want to eat their poop so you then you're substituting the okay i get it but it didn't work so now we have wow i mean that honestly i'm just gonna say having the dog that eats shit is worse than my slutty dog with std tubs agree it has mouth STD.

18:47Angie Sullivan:So I, I, I really, that's really terrible because how do you ever let her lick you? That's the thing. She wants to get right in my, every time she comes in from outside, whether, whether I think seen it or not, I take her and I wash her face with the washcloth, wash all in it. What about her mouth? Oh no, I, I do that. But here's the deal. This tells you what a sick fuck I am so needy for attention. After I wipe her face, like an hour later, she comes and she loves to give kisses. She gets right up in my face and she wants to give me kisses. I let her. I fucking let her. That's how fucked up I am.

19:27Well, let me, let me say this to both of you, not knowing that both of you are battling these things with your dogs day in and day out. But from where I sit, you would never know it. I'll show up as sweet and kind and nice and just little what I know what you're really enduring in your day-to-day life. You're just two little cherubs that I cherish with everything in the world.

19:54Angie Sullivan:Especially me. Especially. Always the softest. That was really directed toward Jennifer. But when I heard Pump's stories, I wanted to include you too. But that was really directed at Jennifer. I'm always so soft and sweet. Her soft, caring soul, affectionate soul. I didn't know she was having to give so much of herself during the day to her dogs and that to me, too. I had no idea. So kudos. Yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you what. I need to see a photograph. Would you text the lady at the dog school right now to see if she has a photograph of her in this facial thing? Because we need that on here before we end this episode.

20:32Angie Sullivan:I need to see this. The viewer needs to see it. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans. All right, let's move on to some news stories. A woman asks roommate to stop using baby voice with boyfriend around her.

21:17Angie Sullivan:Gross. The problem started with the roommate's boyfriend who stays over often. Her boyfriend comes over quite frequently for about four days at a time, which is something we discussed before I moved in and I'm fine with, she wrote, adding that she enjoys being around both of them. the issue is what happens when the couple is together she confessed my problem is that they do a baby voice with each other that to be frank really grinds my gears lol while she normally tries to ignore it she said it recently became too much she explained that when the boyfriend stayed for more than a week she reached a tipping point where it was too much for me Wanting to be respectful, she spoke to her roommate privately and asked if she could stop using the voice while she was around.

22:10Angie Sullivan:Her roommate didn't take it well and later admitted that being told it was gross, really hurt her feelings. The woman said she felt guilty for the choice of words and wondered if she should have said anything at all. I fucking hate baby talk between couples. I hate it in public. If your private space includes someone else, by definition, it's not private. So if you want to go in the bedroom and you want to baby talk, nobody wants to hear adults baby talk unless it's to a dog or a kid. I'm completely on board with this woman. Team her. I think I would rather pray with Tim Scott at the Republican convention than listen to someone engage in baby talk.

22:54I mean, it's just too much. It's over the top. At some point, you get so angry that you want to hit somebody listening to it. It's just, this is too much. So I agree with the roommate. They can be together as much as they want, but you need to stop the baby talk. Stop it. Stop it.

23:13Angie Sullivan:Okay, moving along. The next one is men are experimenting with a new dating tactic. Pop this up. This is some weird shit. I'm sure you're going to die. introducing pheromone maxing tiktok's latest disgusting dating trend the practice circulating on tiktok as part of the looks maxing pipeline involves ditching deodorant skipping showers and occasionally among the more committed drinking their own urine what to sweat out toxins all of this in service of amplifying a natural musk that allegedly contains pheromones that make you biologically irresistible. The cell is basically this. Stop trying so hard.

24:00Angie Sullivan:Smell like an animal. Watch the attraction happen. So now we know why the in-cell community are in cells and that they're not getting laid because they're doing stupid shit like this. I do not. You want people to smell good. Right. I love it. Like when I pass somebody, like if I'm walking amongst the public and I pass somebody, like a guy that smells really good, I'm a, I'm a, I'm double taking. Like I'm, I'm all in on that. Here's the deal. If you are so fucking desperate that you are drinking your pee and you are depending on your body mask, pheromones to get a date, you probably have bigger problems than just the pheromone thing.

24:47Like there, there's a certain level of issue with dating that you're, you're, you've gone to the max to try to fix it. But I think there's a lot of points along the way that you could clean up because this is fucking crazy. I would put this in the shit. I don't need to know column that that's in. Thank God I don't have TikTok, but But there are just certain things that I don't need to know exist in this world. And I would think that's one of them. If people want to drink their own piss, that's fine. They can go for it. I just don't need to know about it. Like, I don't really care what anybody wants to do.

25:24And if you're trying to get laid and you have to do all that shit and you believe in it, what it makes me think is when I see my kids doom scrolling TikTok, I'm thinking, okay, are they watching shit like this? Like, is this what they're doing for hours upon day? just this weird, stupid shit that adds no utility to your day-to-day life. That's what concerns me the most. I don't give a fuck what anybody does with their piss or anybody else, as long as it doesn't affect me, period. Okay.

25:53Angie Sullivan:That is just some really, really weird shit. I mean, there's just some weird shit happening on the internet. Yeah. From the trad wives to this shit. It, it's just, it's a lot. It, it, and I agree with you. It's just stuff we don't need to know. Like if somebody wants to be a trad wife and then they want to have a full-time job documenting their life as a trad wife while earning money as a trad wife, I just don't want to know about it. I just don't want to know about it. It's not interesting to me. And yet there's a whole community of this. And then these guys that are trying to get laid in this fashion, it's just crazy.

26:35It's stories like that that have made me less curious about the world. It's caused me not to want to be curious and ask questions because I don't want to get the answers. It's caused me to want to morph into a room that's dark and not do anything.

26:51Angie Sullivan:so all right kylie who do we have that has called into this here podcast okay we've got a voice memo from rose i have had it with people saying you know what i always say and then they say something that everyone always fucking says like they're a fucking guru or they've said dropped a bomb of wisdom on you and you're like mate that is i'm just the um what is it it's uh self-anointed uh wisdom fuck you fuck off you don't know me stop telling me shit that is already on a canvas in fucking marshals on sale love you guys so much thank you i i love that it's like um i always say whatever kills me will just make me stronger right well no no you don't everybody in the fucking planet says that so i mean i i just kudos to her i absolutely love that and people do that they they steal the phrase and act like it's theirs when everybody's been saying it for decades.

28:08I completely agree. And I love her accent.