The Secret Lives of MAGA Men

31:31It's a beautiful country. And in our own personal protest, we dubbed it our Take Back Melania Tour. We drove throughout the country blasting I've Had It and iHip News and asking people if they would take her back. Here's the thing. No one there wants her back. Not a single person would claim her. And in fact, they were nicer to us when they realized we didn't want her either. So here's what I've had it with. Her stupid, fake-ass accent. Not one person that we spoke to there sounded remotely like her. She's making that shit up, and I have had it. There used to be a statue in her hometown to honor her that was made of wood.

32:12Someone burnt it down. They made another one out of bronze. And last year, someone chopped it off at the feet and stole it. It was not us. That was before we went. Anyhow, Kylie should pop up those statues at some point so you can see how ugly they are. Anyhow, keep up the good fight. Jennifer, now that you're a New Yorker, I hope to run into you at the next Antifa meeting or in line to pick up our text from George Soros. Kylie, speaking of picking up, please pick up after your dog. Thanks. Yeah, that is so good. Did you find these articles, Kylie? Yeah, okay. So I looked into the statue. Okay.

32:49This is the first one that went up. What? This is wood. No. It's the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen. And she probably lit that on fire herself. No. Here's what's interesting, and she alluded to this. This is an article from 2020. wooden melania trump statue was replaced with bronze after an arson attack so someone burned it down so then they make this bronze one ugly as shit as well and this is 2025 melania trump statue goes missing so they just keep stealing these statues so they fucking hate her hate Oh my God. You know, here's the thing. We know that Melania, I don't know if she was a victim initially in this whole Epstein thing.

33:40And I think that we could deduce that potentially she was, that she was recruited at a very young age by these model type predatorial men that worked for Epstein that brought over these young Eastern European people. In the Epstein files, there are suggestions that, you know, Trump is banging her on Jeffrey Epstein's plane, coming out to everybody. She's a hot piece of ass. There's also a video that I think is pretty interesting online, if you guys will find it. It is of Donald Trump and Melania at a horse race. And he introduces her as Melania now and says she's from Austria and she's not from Austria.

34:29And so I thought that was just really interesting. I've seen this floating around online and let's see if they can find it pumps because whatever she was initially, she certainly morphed into a hardcore, or, you know, sociopath, whack job, Melania. Did you find it, Kylie? Good afternoon to you. Well, thank you very much. How are you? I'm fine. This lady right here next to you? Melania Knauss from New York, from Austria. Hello there, Melania. Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Are you here to buy Churchill Downs, by chance? Well, I'm serious. Okay. Interesting that she's from Austria there, because she's fucking not from Austria.

35:09And so I just think that is pretty fascinating. I mean, was she lying to Donald Trump about where she was from? Did she come over with this crop? And I'm just pontificating here. Did she come over with this crop of Eastern European models that that Amanda Ungaro, who Trump had deported? Did she come over with all of them? I just I think that Melania's entrance into the United States is shrouded in some form of controversy. The whole Einstein visa is total bullshit. She doesn't speak. She does not speak five languages. She speaks two, which is better than me. Okay. I only speak one language, but I agree that the accent is put on.

35:54And I think that whatever, whatever the initial story was, she is so far gone. She is such a monster. I think Melania Trump is an absolute fucking monster right there with Ghislaine Maxwell. I don't think she gives a fuck about humanity, people, any of it. None of it. What was shocking to me in that video, she hardly had an accent at all. And now it's such a heavy accent. So I agree. It has never occurred to me that the accent was fake. But after hearing that from the caller, I wouldn't be surprised. I, I, she's obviously not fake. She is from Slovenia. Her parents are here. There's no question about that.

36:39I think that she probably has that accent because I don't think she ever fucking speaks English because nobody wants to talk to her. You know, I think she probably talks to her parents and Baron who speaks Slovenian and that's the end of it. That's the end of her day. So then she gets drug out to do these humiliating press conferences wherein she defends her pussy grabbing husband and she's saying shit like donald is on the fire i'm just like shut the up all of you i can't take it but i think what's more interesting about the accent is why were they saying that she's from austria who knows i mean there's a lie at the bottom of it somewhere at least one because these people live online get straight to jeffrey epstein i agree I just that's my gut.

37:31I just think she was from the Jeffrey Epstein crop. Why on? Why else would she walk out and do that batshit crazy press conference? Why? No, if you're if you did not meet Donald Trump through Jeffrey Epstein, you know, that's not how we met. Here's how we met. And you'd never repeat it again, ever. And it'd be like if all of a sudden I started saying, no, I really, Angie didn't hire me to decorate her house. She really hired me um uh to put on a baby shower for she hired me to be a party planner not an interior designer you know just some lie and i did a press conference about it and all this which tells me 100 jeffrey epstein introduced him the rumor is that she slept with epstein before she slept with trump yeah which there's a part of me listener i hate melania trump but these young girls that are 1920 passed around with all these sleazy disgusting old men i have empathy for all of that um but i don't have empathy for melania i just i just don't she's had multiple ample opportunity to stand up for people for justice she's in a position where she could write a tell-all and end this presidency once and for all and she chooses to do nothing but her bat ship press conferences.

38:52Yeah. And you know, I guess in the documentary, she made a big deal about how they met. So I think there's a lot of smoke around how they met. Totally. And I think Ghislaine and all these other people, yeah, Jeffrey used to, Jeffrey used to bang her and then he gave her to Trump. I mean, that's probably what's going on. And here's the deal. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. What matters more is not Melania's involvement in that. it's the president's involvement in that. I mean, initially at that point, Melania was a victim. Right. That's hard to think about now, but I mean, initially, if that theory is true.

39:29Okay. Kylie, who's next? Okay. Up next, we've got Molly. Hi, Kylie. Hi, Jennifer. Hi, Angie. My name is Molly. I work in healthcare. I work specifically with oncology and blood disorder patients. And I just, you know, first to say, wanted to say that I am a huge fan of both the podcasts, but I wanted to share and I've had it. I have had it with male patients in my clinic and really, I guess in the world. I have had it that they don't know how to schedule their own appointments, that they don't know how to talk on the phone with people, that they don't they need to like check in with their wives when I ask simple questions like you know what are your symptoms I've had it that they'll show up to their doctor's appointments and not know what the appointment is even for um I've had it with these women enabling like this man baby behavior I it's like I just want to ask like hey like when is this guy gonna care about his own health concerns.

40:38Like, I mean, he's here not with a small thing. So I've had it. I've had it with the women, you know, enabling these men. And I've had it with the men, like, you know, basically using their, you know, their sisters, their mothers, their wives, their girlfriends, their whoever is doing it. I've had it with them using them as like personal assistants and care managers. it's a great one i'm so you pamst you care to weigh in about um women enabling their men in their life well as we all know i mean first of all i enabled my children to a degree that is criminal i'll start there you really did i mean i just you still do i do i feel like i'm better now luke i'm the worst at and i don't know if it's just he's the baby or he manipulates me the best.

41:32But when I was married, thank you, God, I'm not anymore, whatever the Catholic thing. I just can't even tell you all the shit, every single thing, like I had to be drug into it. Well, I'm going to go to the doctor. Well, do you want to make the appointment? All that shit. Like, I hate it. I can't believe I did it. I fielded a thousand phone calls a day over stupid shit. So I mean, been there, done that, spot it, got it, same. I'll tell you, listener, this is a story I forgot about, but everybody knows my husband, Josh is a hypochondriac and, um, Angie's ex-father-in-law now deceased, also hypochondriac clinical psychological case study of hypochondria.

42:24It makes Josh look like, yeah. So we were at this, I believe it was a T-ball after party. When you have young children, you're tortured to sign them up for things like T-ball. Angie's ex-husband was the T-ball coach of my son and her daughter's team. They were the pirates. Her husband was nauseating, insufferable,

42:50TMI, overcomplicator of a coach. They were like four, right? I mean, like nobody is athletic. They sit down and are digging for ladybugs in the grass while the ball's in play, right? And we're talking, these are not, these are four-year-olds. These are not the smartest people among us, nor the most athletic. So he's acting like they're playing in the World Series, right? So we end up going afterwards to this burger joint. And Angie and I knew, she's like, whatever you do avoid Larry. Avoid Larry. Avoid Larry. Larry was father-in-law. So I'm like, I knew because he's always like calling 911 and the ER, blah, blah, blah.

43:25False alarm, false alarm. And all of a sudden Angie and I look over and Larry has Josh Welch fucking cornered and he is going through a complete medical ailment from start to finish. This goes on for like 45 minutes. Angie and I are sitting over there eating our French fries and our cheeseburgers. I mean, literally, tackling. And Josh keeps looking like for us to, you know, come save him. And we're like, No, no, I saw you're on your own. And I remember we left and he was like, God damn it, you and fucking pumps. So me over there. I'm in there just in the trenches taking grenades and y 'all didn't fucking do anything.

44:04Do you know how many elements I had to hear from this guy? I went through like six or seven. It's unbelievable. Unbelievable. I think the story was in the book, but this is a true stride. It's worth retelling. like everybody knew he was a hypochondriac like literally like three or four nights a week he went to the emergency room for shits and giggles like nothing was wrong he would just go and say something was wrong it was the same symptoms okay so we're at my mom's house for some kind of family function we're all sitting around a big table there's probably like 15 people around the table and he stands up in the middle of uh eating and walks out the front door not a word nothing just stands up walks out the front door and i can't remember who said it but somebody was like what's going on with him and i can't remember who said it by this time of course kirk's running after him my brother says probably headed off to the emergency room and then kurt walks in a few minutes later what's going on with your dad he goes he's gonna go to the emergency it was like you could set your watch by on thanksgiving and christmas you i remember like decorating cookies or something with the kids when they were little and it was like what are you doing on thanksgiving i was like well there'll be an emergency room run at some point, blah, blah, blah, blah.

45:36And one of my friends was like, what? I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's like every holiday, there's an emergency room visit. And she was like, whatever. And my other friend was like, no, that's true. It happens every time. So then like, that was like in the afternoon that night, I texted and say, hey, just got the emergency room call. And she was like, are you fucking kidding me? I was like, no, it's right there right now. Yeah, yeah, I remember it. It was nonstop. And I think finally, like when he did get sick and did ultimately kick the bucket, everybody was just like, Okay, I feel like you've been doing this.

46:10Right? Like, I mean, it was like, he's going to the emergency room was like, Okay, let me go shopping and, you know, wash my hair. Nobody, you know, you cry wolf enough times. It's a great way to soften the blow to the actual death, though. You know, just feigning death, a near death experiences for like a decade. And then when it finally happens, you're like, well, I feel like we've been kind of going through. He just finally took it over the finish line.

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51:52And she says, she's dead. And I go, who? And she goes, my mother-in-law. I'll talk to you later. Click.

52:05She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. That was it. That was the end of it. It was informative yet effective. Here's what I like about us. we are so fucking sanctimonious on this little podcast of ours talking about melania being a sociopath and here we are making light of your deceased in-laws ex-in-laws yeah and their deaths the hypocrisy is really rich with us isn't it yeah no i'm a terrible person i don't think i'm as bad as melania but i am not a good i mean i'm i mean i can be really shitty like here's the thing I want to say in your defense. Your ex-husband put you through unimaginable, unimaginable things.

52:53The gaslighting, the lying, the infidelity, all of it wrapped up in this godly marriage. Well, that the godly marriage was such fucking bullshit. I knew that from the jump. But what fucking grossed me out about you and Kirk was this constant, well, you know, she's princess, whatever princess wants, we're going to give it to princess. It's like princess enabling syndrome. It's always just like, he'd come home and I'd beat your house. He goes, what are you and Jennifer doing, princess? What's my princess doing? I just want to go, Kirk, put a sock in it. Put calling her fucking princess. And maybe that's just something tangible.

53:34I could, cause I was so mad at him for how much he hurt you. And maybe that was just something just like, fucking shut up. Does that make you feel like you're not a prick and a cheater and a liar and a gaslighter if you call a princess? Yeah. But I will say this. It's not that you're a bad person. It's that when you are married to somebody and you realize, oh fuck, I fucked up. This is a bad choice. And I'm three kids. All the chalk back. I'm going to do it. Right. This is not like I can just take it back or I can just eat it and say, okay, take it as a loss. I mean, you're in this thing. It's difficult to get angry at the person with whom you have to share the house, share the mortgage, share the kids with because you have to live with them.

54:19So then you jump to who made them, who is responsible for this motherfucker. And I know with Josh, like I went through a solid 10 years where I was just like, who fucking invented this person? who made this person i did too and it's easier to live with that and i think it's probably we're going to have so many listeners commenting in the comment section because you know it's all high times and you know great sex and all this shit and then you get down to your this horrible mistake you made you know yeah in in partnering with people fortunately josh and i did the therapy and you know got through it all and we're a better couple for it but there was a time where it was fucking rough where I was like, I really did screw the pooch on this thing.

55:03And I fucking hate everybody who had anything to do with the night that he and that his mother and his father had sex. I hate, I want to go to the inception of it. That's how pissed I am. That's how bad this was. Yeah. I want to rewind the clock all the way. Or I'd be like, what, how did these parents allow this? And I'm like, they're crazier than he is, you know, but I go in the emergency room, right? We're at the emergency room and we're doing all this crazy shit. And at the end of the day, when you realize you made a terrible mistake, like I've, I've never been divorced without kids, but I think that like, I've had clients where it's like, you're divorced without kids.

55:40It's like, okay, we're going to move on. It's not that big of a deal. But when you fucking realize that you have fucked your life up, like so far beyond repair, like it is so fucked up, like stage five defcon fucked up and you have three kids little kids then you're like i hate him i hate his parents i hate my parents the person i hate the most in all this it's fucking me like i fucked it up so bad that is a realization that's just like three kids three i remember i remember smoking cigs with you on my front porch. And you had so few coping skills. I was so shocked at some of the stuff you would say.

56:28You would say, I wish I would have never had my kids. And I was like, that's not even an option. Like you fucking have your kids. You can't just wish that they didn't exist. But in your mind, if it wasn't picket fence, Jesus, you know, curated this life for me you didn't want any of it and then also i will say i was shocked that you would always say that you just wished that he would die all the time yeah well i mean to be fair i i think but i put myself back in that situation i feel like it solves more problem you know what i mean like i'm not saying it's a good solution but i'm just saying it was to the point that i just i wish you would just have a wreck on the way home from work and like that it would I remember.

57:16See, and I, this is where you and I disagree. I don't think that's helpful to anybody. No, I'm not saying it's rational. But I mean, obviously, but I just - You're a cold-blooded killer pumps. Right. No, but I mean, there were, that's how bad the despair was. No, I get it. death like an answer not well i think i i think that it's it's not it's not the the despair the way i interpret it at the time and still do interpret it is that you were sold this bill of goods from your mom from your church this is what good girls get and then you got the crack smoker hooker fucking husband that's who you got whose license plate said spanky and so then you're sitting on my front porch going this was not the contract nor the information that was presented to me when I signed up for this therefore I would like for him to be dead and I wish these kids out of existence because I do not know how to deal with this other than us being the perfect family and I think that in that regard your what some people could think sociopathic or homicidal feelings make perfect sense because you either had to be all perfect or non-existent.

58:39That was my interpretation at the time. I think that's exactly, exactly how it was. Exactly. One million percent. Poor Pam. She really went through it. I did. You did. I remember you were hurting so bad. Look how sane and wonderful I am now. I know. You're one of America's top podcasters. Which says a lot about America.

59:07None of it goes. Me as your co-host. This is really a damning indictment on the United States of America and where we are now. Yeah. Yeah. But now you're, I mean, now I have to say you're so, regarding him, you're very healthy about like, that's his world. I mean, it's, it's listener to update you. You don't want him dead any longer, do you? No, I want, I want, I hope for his success. His health and success is the best thing for my kids. And I want that for him. I truly do. I know. I know you do. And you're glad that your kids exist. Most days. Most days. Yeah. Yes, I am. Yeah, I know. I think you're a great mom.

59:49And I think you've been, you've been, you've, you've been for him a place of, I mean, you've, you've finally put up boundaries and, you know, you've been a place that he knows. he can't take his crazy to and in many ways that's the best way to help somebody that has all those issues yeah but it took a long time and a lot of should we do one more callers at the end i think that's a good place to end it okay that's the end that's all that's all everybody gets does that remind you of janet jackson that's the end no wasn't that a video yes it was in the 80s right yeah janet where is where is jim rhythm nation i think she just had a you know she was pro-trump so i kind of are you still in denial that michael jackson was a pedophile no i i just had this big conversation about this like i can call out everybody but michael jackson it's just shows just like my ability to have cognitive to be maga yeah i mean it's a real indictment i thought about it the other day because you would just defend michael jackson all the time and i was just like then i saw leaving neverland and i was just like do you believe it now 100 100 it's so sad yeah it's really bad really it's so up too because like i love his music you know did you ever see michael jackson the musical yes love so good yeah good and I probably am going to go see the movie.

1:01:25What is it based on the musical? Well, it's April 24th. His nephew's playing Michael Jackson and it's right around like the bad tour, like a bio doc or what the same people that made Queen or Bohemian Rhapsody are doing it. So I probably will see it. But I just, every time I listen to his music, I'm like, he is a fucking pedophile. You're choosing to listen to a pedophile. I scold myself, but I don't change it. I mean, you know, anything from like the Jackson 5 all the way up to Thriller and, you know, beyond. I was going to note that when I watched the Melania documentary, she a handful of times said Michael Jackson is her favorite artist.

1:02:03So I just think that goes hand in hand. Really? There's a whole scene in the car where she sings. She does car karaoke singing Billie Jean. What? Will you please do it in the accent? And you just sit there and you just watch it. Okay. Tell me what I'm supposed to say. Billie Jean, not my lover. No, I'm not going to sing. In the accent. Right. But what was the statement? What did she say? She sings. She sings with her accent? She's singing Billie Jean. How does she sound? Not good. I want you to do it. Well, no, I'm not going to sing. I'm a bad singer. But I will say, Michael Jackson is my favorite artist.

1:02:50I believe he's innocent. Of all charges, much like my husband Donald. As a student in theater history, my husband being an unifier. She's such a fucking kind. Can you believe she got$40 million for that? Jen, I think you can close out the show in Melania's accent. Okay.

1:03:16Listener, please subscribe, subscribe wherever you get, wherever you get your podcasts. And we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.

1:03:40Listen up, patriots, gaytriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest This legal mind pumps, pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw. That's it. That's, that's, caw-caw.

1:04:22That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.