Traditional Family Freak Show

0:02Jennifer:So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, gay-triots, black-triots, brown-triots, and any other triots we left out. And what is it? And MAGA can go? And MAGA can do what? And MAGA can do what, POMPS? Fuck off! That was Welcome to I've Had It. We have a special day. We have the lovely Kylie and Ryan. And for those of you watching at home, both fantastically gorgeous. And I'm so excited to be there, to be with them today. Jennifer is on vacation. She will be back next week and then I'll be gone. So you'll miss this shining face. And so Kyle's Ryan, who do we want to start with?

0:53Jennifer:Who has their hand up first? What have you had it with? Kylie. I haven't had it. Okay. So I've had it when you're, if let's say I'm out in public restaurant, a bar, whatever. And I'm honest, my girlfriend's going to get the brunt of this because it's who I'm with the most. I've had it when you, when I'm like trying to talk shit on someone out loud. Yeah. And I'm like, Hey, look over there or I'm whispering. And then the other person responds what what that's and they look and they look where you're pointing i'm like shut up shut up shut up she does this to me all the time i think i do it as well but they out me when i'm trying to talk shit in public i can hear anna doing that i do that all the time somebody will like whisper like don't look now which is immediate my head jerks off my neck yeah to look and then here's it i'll take it one step further yeah i do it i'm guilty a sin i do it but when somebody does it when i try to like do the hey don't look now like i'm whispering and they say what i can't hear you what are you trying to say look where and i'm just like shut the fuck up normally when somebody whispers like if i'm trying to whisper because i'm trying to be quiet the person listening whether they're trying to be quiet or not starts whispering but in those situations they don't they immediately like you need to match match volume just to start so that no one's in trouble or you warn them multiple times don't look don't look i'm going to tell you something don't look and then they still look that's what really which i think i do it but like that i know i do here because i have a story from a football game when uh my youngest was playing football so one of my favorite moms she's a dear dear friend we're sitting there and i'm like tell her this story that is i don't preface it by don't say anything i i just think that that's implied you don't need to say it i just assume she's not going to say it and she's super sweet it was it was just she was trying to be helpful the person sits down and she immediately brings up to their face like so i'm sitting there next to her and i text her i cannot believe you did that and she was like well i felt i mean it wasn't bad or anything it was just like we probably should not have been gossiping about it i.e i should not have been gossiping about it, but I was, and I mean, she went straight to the source with, and I was just like sitting there with egg all over my face.

3:40Jennifer:Somewhat like when you're talking about someone on the group text and you accidentally looped them in. Sure. I haven't done that before. And it is absolutely horrible. I side texted everybody, but one person, a group text. What a cunt. I thought the one was then I got in the shower so like I don't have my phone I don't know what's happening and this thing is blowing the up I'm getting like 50 phone calls while I'm in the shower and I'm just like what and I get out and I'm just like me and I just owned it I was just like that was shitty I'm an asshole sorry there's no excuse for it and I'm sorry like you can't keep digging at that point you just have to fucking own it that's just why i don't participate in group messages avoids that problem altogether not that you don't gossip you just don't do group messages because you can't not gossip yeah don't sit on your high horse right no i gossip i gossip but i do have selective friends that i gossip with because i know you can have friends who are big mouths and can't keep their mouth shut there's always one or two yeah i have a few all right ryan what have you had it with i've had it with movie theater etiquette i feel like it is a really good example of this societal collapse and just etiquette that is ravaging this country and probably the world i went to the movies on friday i'm always seated next to either the person who talks the most or laughs the loudest in the movie theater which if you're laughing at the movie you get a pass at least you're enjoying it at least you're present but it was some really obnoxious laughing but then in front of me a woman had her dog on her lap and i was just wondering when we were when we started bringing dogs into movie theaters when did we need emotional support at the movie theater like i get But why are you at the movie with your dog?

5:51Which. Leave the dog at home. The movie's less than two hours long. Before that, the week before, I go to the movies a lot. Love the movies. There was, you know, a big family with an infant, probably like a three to six month old infant. And the baby is crying throughout the entire movie. And they're going in and out, in and out of the movie theater. They're sitting, the entire family, there's probably 10 of them. They're going in and out of the movie theater. They're getting up. They're switching seats. To be fair, I was watching Toy Story 5. So it was a family movie.

6:29Jennifer:Okay, wait, wait. But still. You were in Toy Story 5? It's a really good movie. I'm going to bitch with you until my head falls off about people bringing kids to the movie. It is unacceptable. Okay. If you have more than one adult, one adult can stay home with the child. Okay. But this movie was at 8.30, 9 o 'clock. I thought that it would be late enough that it would be more of an adult showing. How old was the baby? An adult showing of Toy Story. I think that that family, I hope, is on a podcast somewhere saying, why was a 30-year-old man at Toy Story 5? Why was a 29-year-old man at Toy Story?

7:11Jennifer:If you say you were alone, I'm going to really be worried. Were you alone? I was not alone. No, but it is OK to go to the movie theaters alone. Pumps, really quick. Didn't you just tell me a story off camera of something that's happening in the news at a Spider-Man movie? Speaking of movie etiquette. Yeah. OK, so I got like a tick tock or something in a group chat that somebody at the Spider-Man movie, because I know this because people were dressed up as Spider-Man and the farting and the noxious fumes were so bad. they had to evacuate the movie, which I would go to, go to the next showing. If you're having the D super bad, like I understand you might have a blowout or whatever, but if you're going to sit there and fart, we just have to stay home.

7:58Jennifer:I know you're excited to see Spider-Man and I'm just going to go on record. I absolutely am madly in love with Tom Holland and Zendaya. I mean, I think they are, first of all, one of the movies I went and saw by myself that it was like, eh, I don't really want to go to a movie, but I want popcorn, was that movie with Robert Patson and Zendaya. It was like the drama. Yeah. I could not look at anything but her the whole time. I was like, she is so gorgeous. My eyeballs hurt. And then Tom Holland, he's just a, I just love him. He's so adorable. Yeah. Yeah. He's adorable. Yeah. So people just fucking take a shit at home before you go.

8:46Jennifer:If you have the D don't go, if you can't get a babysitter or one of the adults can't stay home, even for Tori story, which I'm not giving him a pass on that. I'm just saying overall, I just want to revise my statement slightly. My problem was not hard to back out at the point. My problem was not with the baby. It was more. Well, my, my problem is that they brought the baby into the movie theater, But more, my problem was that all the kids were running and they're, you know, they're older kids. They're teenagers that are with them. They're they're running in and out of the theater and they're sitting in the front two rows there right in front of the screen.

9:22And even then, my qualm still lies mostly with the dog in the theater and the person talking next to me. So don't roast me in the comments.

9:32Jennifer:Here's. Here's the thing. They will. Ryan, you kind of deserve it. Like, I love this story. I was all in. But then when you said Toy Story 5, I'm like, didn't you kind of assume the risk just a little bit with Toy Story 5? I probably should have, but I didn't. Yeah. There's just too many kids at adult activities overall. Or make a showtime. This is the showtime to take all your kids. But again, Toy Story 5, I can't get it. I retract my statement about Toy Story 5. It was more of a stream of consciousness than anything. We're on a podcast here. You know what? We need the comments, Ryan. So I appreciate it.

10:21Pumps, do you ever had it?

10:23Jennifer:Okay, I do have had it. And it's just, it's the whole thing. Like I could start and never, ever finish about all the shit I've had it with, with Macca. But what really is getting me right now is the family value stuff. Like shut the fuck up about family values. Shut the fuck up when you don't give a shit about kids after they're born. Shut the fuck up when you bomb little girls in Iran and you don't give a fuck. Shut the fuck up about how you stand on your Bible and you're such a great Christian and rah-rah you, but you refuse free lunches for kids at school. When you are gutting, when you are gutting pre-kindergarten education, which the data is clear, pre-kindergarten education is a game changer for kids.

11:19Jennifer:Not to mention there's no universal child care. So this serves as child care for working parents and it's important. And the fact that this administration is doing nothing but going out and making kids less safe, less smart, and less healthy, and then sits and talks about family values. It is more than I can take. I have had it. It makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs. And it's not even the hypocrisy of it all. It's that people believe the hypocrisy. The people that are like, oh, yeah, I vote Republican because it's family values. Shut the fuck up. What is the number one family value you see this administration legislating for?

12:13Jennifer:Is it old people? Well, no. Is it kids? Well, no. is that women will fuck no. It's always about the white male and the patriarchy. It just, I'm so sick of family values on Republican. Like it just makes me want to bang my head against a wall. So that's why I've had it. I've just had it. No notes. I agree. It's not going to change. It's, this is ongoing. There's no relief from it. I don't it's not this happened long before Trump. It's going to happen way after Trump. Like this is their messaging. And it just it's incensing that people actually buy this shit. It just it is. It doesn't it doesn't actually mean anything either, because these are the same people who are, you know, cheating on their wives, who are protecting pedophiles, who are doing everything that they say they're against.

13:16right i know someone um he's a father of like five kids and lives in oklahoma and he sent something and he was like yeah i'm going to this walk for to protect the traditional family to protect against the attack on the traditional family they walked like 10 miles in oklahoma to combat it what is the attack what are you talking about you have everything you want

13:42Jennifer:I'll tell you what the attack is, Kylie. The attack is women in the workforce. Women having their own money. Gay people getting to get married. Gay people getting married. That's the attack, even though it has nothing to do with them. It has, like, their lives are different zero because of trans people. Their lives are different zero because of gay people. Their lives are different zero because women choose not to have children. I mean, it goes on and on. But it's just this fucking, I'm going to tell you how you need to live your life, even though it affects me zero. And it is, you know, all of the attacks on trans people and gay people like that is crushing.

14:25Jennifer:It is devastating to face institutionalized bigotry from your government, from your pastors, from all those people that affects their lives. It affects how they feel about himself. the two men getting married affects somebody else's straight marriage absolutely fucking none zero zero zero zero you know what kylie i think after the 10 mile traditional family walk is that what it was right we probably gave each other fucking blowjobs i think i'm gonna marry a woman i think it worked i think it worked do you feel better about it i just feel different i feel a sexual attraction to women now yeah yeah it worked everything changed everything changed i feel better I feel like they should do a walk for guns and getting, you know, children being killed in school shootings.

15:12Jennifer:If they did a 10 mile walk for that, we wouldn't have them anymore. That's how stupid these people are. It drives me fucking bats. All right. Let's face it. A lot of us just randomly picked a bank and signed up and then we've just been there. And then we're stuck with all the bank fees and all of the stuff. But the thought of even switching banks is overwhelming. No more. That's where Chime comes in. chime is changing the way people bank they're not like traditional old banks who charge fees and gatekeep perks and rewards chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking all with no overdraft fees no monthly fees no minimum balance fees and listen to this they have stacked benefits you get 5 % cash back on ChimeCard in a category of choice, like gas or groceries, all while building your credit through regular everyday spending with no credit check.

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17:51Jennifer:listener right now iq bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20 off all iq bar products including the ultimate sampler pack which is what we get here at our studio plus free shipping to get your 20 off text had it to 64 000 text had it to 64 000 again that's had it to 64 000 message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. Okay. Here's been something I've been hanging on to forever because I feel like as usual, okay, first of all, I've had it with Kylie and Josie, number one, I'm adding on to this. Let's hear it. We just filmed an episode of IHIP News and I look up and I have lipstick all over my teeth, like right here.

18:41Jennifer:I mean, it looks like I just took the lipstick and rubbed it on my teeth and I wiped it off. My whole finger is covered with lipstick. And I'm like, Kylie, you didn't tell me. Oh, I didn't notice. I think she did. I think this was on purpose. I think this was a personal attack in her pattern and practice of making Jennifer and I look as much like shit as possible on these channels so that when people see us in person, they always say, oh my gosh, you guys are pretty. You're welcome. You're welcome. Imagine if they saw you in person, The reality is out of the millions of people that see us on TV or whatever, YouTube, they're not seeing us in person.

19:21Jennifer:They're not going to experience. Yeah, but when they do, it's like life changing how beautiful you look in comparison. Life changing. That's exactly what I was thinking. I just don't. Yeah, I just want you to have those moments. Thanks. You're welcome. Okay. So here is, I have missed, and we haven't done it in so, so, so, so, so, so long. A fuck, marry, kill. We have not done the game Fuck and marry and kill. I want to preface it by It is a game. This is not real. We're not threatening To kill people. God knows we're not threatening to fucking Marry people. Especially these people. I was driving And I thought There's nothing on the planet now That is more Has become more unattractive And insufferable Than billionaires.

20:11Jennifer:Like you always think if I were a billionaire, I would have the best life. I would help people. I would do cool shit. But what we are seeing is just billionaire after billionaire, just being fucking crazy. Number one. And number two, just mean shit. Like I used to sit around and think like millionaires are billionaires are just bored. So they go on submersibles to see the Titanic, that kind of thing. But really now we figure, you know, have learned their map, you know, behind the scenes doing all kinds of evil shit. So my fuck, marry, kill. I think this is a great one. Fuck, marry, kill. Billionaire round.

20:50Jennifer:Elon Musk. Peter Thiel. Jeff Bezos. And so I've given this so much thought, so I've kind of cheated. So, okay, Ryan, what's yours going to be? okay so it's a really hard choice it's so hard it is a really hard choice but i will say i will i will marry elon musk no prenup um you know we're just accumulating all the wealth that we can um and then it's down to the other two and i'm gonna say i'll fuck jeff bezos because he's just a little bit more attractive than peter teal and that is like it's really tough um but you're you're putting me in this position so i guess i'll have to kill peter teal um which i'm totally fine with i think i think i would do um i think i would marry jeff okay okay because i agree he's actually the least disgusting of the three which again looks like splitting hairs um and then i would agree i think i would kill peter because he's very scary i mean this is like i feel like he's a murderer like i feel like he is serial killer anti-trice serial serial killer energy for sure yeah so i feel like i'd be doing the world a favor there except i don't know maybe i kill elon fuck you on moss no i can't fuck okay wait kill elon because he's actually making a difference with like really direct that i see every day of getting some of these next people elected i'll fuck peter teal because because maybe he won't like it yeah that's a good one

23:01Jennifer:torture and i'll give you my reasons why which i think are really thought i mean i've spent like the entire day at the gym thinking about this okay i'm gonna marry elon musk and here's why Elon Musk, as has been reported for years, is a terrible addict. That is what has been reported nonstop. I don't know that personally, but based on my observations of him, I agree. However, so at some point, he is going to bottom out. Like this, you can't do this forever. He can't take this much ketamine, lose this much sleep. So I think he's a ticking time bomb. So I think there's a real possibility that he goes first out of those three.

23:49Jennifer:Peter Thiel, I'm going to fuck. And here's why. He's going to hate it. I'm going to hate it. We're both going to be miserable the whole time. And so that gives me a little bit of joy. I chose Jeff Bezos to kill. And I'll tell you why. Okay. Number one, I believe he and Lauren Sanchez probably have the tightest prenup in the history of the world. So then you think, okay, his ex-wife is doing so much good with her money. Anonymously, she's helping people, funding meals on wheels. She's doing all the good. It's also been reported that his kids did not go to his wedding with Lauren Sanchez. So I'm thinking that the kids probably don't agree with him politically.

24:37Jennifer:And so with his money, the kids and their mother's influence could do what he's done, which is so terrible and change it for good. Those are my thoughts on it. I think they're pretty good. They're always good. I always imagine you have like this notebook of just like elaborate notes and thoughts and then you scrap one idea and then, yeah. And also on Peter Thiel, I wouldn't want, because you know, he's running around talking about this weird christian cult thing and the antichrist and so i wouldn't want anybody to put him as like a martyr that would be hard for me to take so yeah that's what i do at the gym to pass the time i think we all had different answers yeah that means it's a tough one let us know in the comments yeah everybody do your own again this is a game we're just playing the age-old game.

25:33Jennifer:I know we should move on, but can I do like a rapid fire one with you I just thought of? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. You know it's my favorite game. Okay, Eric. Don Jr. Okay, hold on, hold on. I'm writing it down. Ryan, you pick the third one. Eric. Don Jr. Jared Kushner. Jared Kushner? Yeah. That's a good one. Okay. Okay, do it. Okay, number one. You gotta kill Jared. Because he appears to be the smartest. Dem and Demer are pretty much harmless. I mean, without dad, they're incompetent to the nth degree. Yes, they're corrupt. They don't have the charisma, all the things. So Jared has to go because I do believe he has deep seated convictions, albeit corrupt.

26:20Jennifer:And he's more ambitious than the other two. So he's got to go. Eric. Dawn Jr. That's a tough one.

26:42Jennifer:I think both of them are probably completely malleable. I think that I could browbeat either one of them into what I wanted them to do. I think that I'm going to pick Don Jr., even though that's repulsive. It's absolutely repulsive. I think marry Eric because I think he is so incompetent. I can literally lock him in a room and go for days and weeks and months on end. And he does not have the balls to fight for himself. I mean, he thinks his wife is a good singer. I think he has like half of a brain cell. And that's generous. Like I really do. And John Jr. maybe has a brain cell and a half. Before.

27:23Jennifer:I think John Jr. is the smarter of the two. and don't worry i'm not having fun with that but it's just you have sophie's choice and he's so much he's so much more in your face and oh i'm a bro and all that plus he's oh god he's friends with andrew tate okay let me andrew tate's gonna be in jail though fingers crossed he is with women i bet so i think you nailed it i think i i think i agree with with your three i think i have to do that i i mean obviously you know there's no good answer but if i had to get one it would be that yeah that's a great one you know keep them coming because i just love this so we'll brainstorm people should drop in the comments below some of your ideas and then we'll do them it's one of my favorite things to do it is you take it very very seriously oh my gosh i don't just throw out names and answers i really don't okay you guys i have a news story okay laid on me all right this one is Is sharing your location with your partner actually healthy?

28:23Experts explain when keeping tabs crosses the line from helpful to obsessive. And it goes on to say, According to a survey conducted by the Life360 app, 95 % of American adults in a relationship use some form of location sharing technology and check the app an average of seven times a day. It's mainly young people who use them, being more accustomed to sharing their data online, and they often see it as a harmless habit and a form of emotional closeness. A recent Australian survey found that almost one in five young people between the ages of 18 and 24 think it's acceptable to track their partner whenever they want.

29:03Allowing the other person to monitor our movement and knowing that we can know where they are whenever we want can be seen as a demonstration of mutual trust. And for this reason, today has almost become proof of a couple's solidity. And yet behind it lies a need for control that seems to characterize modern love. Quote, a location sharing app can be a practical help in everyday life, or it can turn into a tool for constant monitoring that suffocates the relationship, explain the experts at Uno Bravo, the online psychology service. A useful sign for understanding what role GPS plays in a couple is the reaction that may arise when one of the two suggests turning it off.

29:43If that request triggers anxiety, suspicion or conflict, the sharing is probably not being experienced calmly. Okay.

29:53Jennifer:I love this. As you know, I'm way too old to have grown up with tracking up. So let me tell you what, this is the old school. This is how I did it in college. Okay. What you did is you prank called. Are they answering? Are they not answering? And you'd star six, seven, or star six, nine at some point, because at first you didn't even have call already. So you didn't have to worry about that. And then we would have stakeouts and drive-bys. So we would just switch cars, like we'd go to our neighbors to get a car that our boyfriends didn't know, so we could drive by. So I think that having the ability to track people is a time-honored tradition of nosy romantic partner.

30:33Jennifer:But I would have never camped out to see what somebody was doing if I didn't have a reason to not trust them. So I think fundamentally, you're like fucking Kylie. Kylie, this is beat up on Kylie episode. Kylie tracks me. OK, that is the most boring track. I guarantee it is boring. Seven times a day. How often do you look at your location sharing? I mean, I'm probably right in that average. I just like to like, I like to look at what my, I like to look at what my Sims are up to. All of my friends, I'll look at where they're at in Oklahoma. I'll see what they're up to here. Angie's always one of two places.

31:13It is very boring to watch you.

31:15Jennifer:It's so boring. Like, so yeah, I'm the worst track on the planet. So, okay. And here's the thing. My daughter, she tracks all her friends, like so-and-so's here. And so somebody said they broke up with their boyfriend, but they really didn't break up with their boyfriend. So all of them were tracking her and like, oh my God, she's sitting out of their boyfriend's house last night. I'm like, why the fuck do you know where she is all the time? Like, that's weird. You should not be tracking your friend group. That's nobody's business. But then she made a good point and I have to give it to her on this.

31:45Jennifer:She said, when we were in college, we all tracked each other. And if somebody was gone for 15 minutes, then we could find them, which does make sense to me. That's what I was going to say. That's kind of how most of my follows have started because you want to make sure your friend gets home safe and right if anything happens you have all their locations so yeah there's a good side to it but that comes with obviously a lot of lack of privacy i just think we're used to it now too like i don't even think it's hard to go back yeah i think it's i'll tell you what my oldest the minute he got out of college he was like you can't track me anymore full stop yeah my parents don't have my location and they never have i because i grew up without it my parents wouldn't even probably don't even know that location sharing exists on my phone yeah um so i i think it's privacy matters a lot but what is privacy anymore like we don't have any somebody fucking around you one million percent get to track them till the end of time they're no longer trustworthy like i completely get that but just i just don't think it a control issue what i see is a control issue that can pop up in a romantic relationship yeah that's kind of scares me a little bit because some people whether they have the tracking app or not are going to be fucking nuts and want to know where you are what you're doing who you're with and that's not fair yeah and here's a great tool for them and it's just this is the perfect had i had this back in the day when jennifer and i were playing cia agents y 'all would have solved that shit.