582 - STEVE BRACKNALL - Ranking Football YouTubers, Brutally Rating PRIME, & Debating Utter Woke Nonsense!

25:58And they've stuck by us because they're loyal. And everyone says, oh, you've not adapted, you've not freshened the squad up. I'm all for new players, but I need to know that they mean it. So loyalty... There is no loyalty in football nowadays. It is with Parks, eh? Yeah, that's what I was going to say. He's had free testimonials. He's been there a while. Is he the oldest player at your team? Must be. Oh, by some distance, yeah. He got Ray Horse on the other day because I dropped him because they were a kid. This was about April last season. He went 19, he went absolutely rapid. I'd sent Bob the Bucket to scout this team.

26:27And he said, Steve, left winger, he's rapid. And I dropped Parks there and I said, I don't want answering back when he's ageist. Fucking ageist, called me ageist. So maybe I've got to look at moving Parks to the arm maybe. But he'll come into the staff. He's been near that long, he'll come into, we'll find that hope for him, first team coach. I think a big question, all the listeners are probably thinking, and is the quiz night still going on? Oh, I do it. So if Terry and June go away, I do quiz, I'm bingo. You do everything. Evening. Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started.

27:05Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice. I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyers rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen? Snacks? A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money. Shop, pay, manage your account, and earn rewards all in one place.

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28:24Terms and more at applecard.com. They're a lot of family to me. We are. They're a lot of family to me then. How do you have the time? Because you come down here today kindly giving you time to do this podcast. I've gone part time on Sparky now. Have you? Right. But I used to work down here. I used to earn some great money down in London. Did you? Come down, earn it and fuck back off. Yeah. Well, how did you get into being a lecky then? Is that just something you got into through school? Well, because of me injury. Yeah. And then Paul Sampson, first team manager, he owns an electrical firm. And he said, Steve, I'll set it on.

28:55So he's my manager in real life. Right. And my manager, I suppose he's first team manager, but I don't get et up on titles and that. I'm assistant. Yeah. Can we just check, do you have qualifications? Oh, yeah, I'm qualified for that. I wouldn't be messing about with Earth and that and can blow up place up now. That's different. But then again, my experience is worth more than my qualification, mate. What's the best gig you've ever done in times of being a Leckie? Ever done someone famous's house? Oh, no, but you go north of Nottingham, I did all the pack testing most at Tesco's. So if you're in a Tesco above Nottingham, look up, think of me.

29:28You're keeping it safe? I did all the pack testing in there. What does that mean then? It means you plug it in and check there's a safe current running through. Because there's three wires in there, is that right? Yeah, yeah. Listen, I've not come on here to talk about Sparky. Pat testing's just making sure electronics are safe when you've had them like over a year. We don't need to like go further into it than that. It's very boring. The reason I ask is sometimes this conks out, Steve. I'll have a look at the after. Not surprised. It's like being on a fucking spaceship or something. It's bright in here.

30:03You will get a migraine. Right. What's your earliest memories from getting into management? You told us that was that Thursday night, 27, 28 years ago. Yeah. So what was the first game? What was the first moment you thought, I've got something here? We got quite early on. We got to quarterfinal at Blade Superdraw, which is big Sheffield Cup. Everyone wants to win that. And I remember thinking then, I'm fucking on last day. Yeah. Last day at Sheffield Blade Superdraw. I remember that going, we're on to something here. Yeah. We're definitely on to something here. I mean, the problem, the dream has always been to get to Meadowall Premier League, which is creme de la creme.

30:41Right. That's the top level. What teams are in that? Anyone would know? Oh, no. It's like local teams. Okay, right. Working men's clubs. You've got Hansworths. That's where Chris Wilder started. Oh, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He come through Sunday League. Right. Do you know Chris? Yeah, he's a very good friend of mine. Yeah, he started at Sunday League. Wait, playoff final, he's probably going to end up fucking back there, isn't he? Yeah. No, but we haven't achieved that dream yet. But you've got to take the small wins, win it in Ag's head. Yeah. Beating Nagzhead's proudest day of my life. 2004.

31:15Right. 21 years. 1-0 away. Proudest day of my life. Nothing topped that since. Tommy. Striker. Tommy. In 21 years, you've had nothing to top that. That's beating your local rivals away. Have you not beaten them since? We've only played them four or five times. Not one since then. To be honest, it weren't really a rivalry until Brian Marshall basically accused me of cheating in their pub quiz in Ag's Head. Oh. In their pub quiz? But that's a gastro pub for fucking 10-bob millionaires. And our Nicky likes to go in because, Steve, they've got great nice gins. Rhubarb this, cucumber this, elderflower this.

31:56And I said, Nicky, it's not a fucking pub if they're chopping coriander behind that. They serve fucking food. They look down on the nose at us. but they're all new money. Yeah, so don't serve food? No. What's the point? The last thing we want is Elf and Argy snooting about. All right, we might put some chips on bar. Yeah. Sandwich, little sandwich, little cocktail sausage. Yeah, we'll do some of that but that comes out of Terry's pocket if he's feeling generous. But Nag Z, oh, now you can get whitebait in there. Whitebait started all sorts but they all sit there drinking Perona, looking down the nose at us lot but he's absolutely fuming Brian Marshall now.

32:37because we're all over the internet. Yeah. And he rang me about, this is the fucking, this is the level of this bloke. He's not spoke to me for seven years. Rings me. We went viral in November. Rings me April. Hey, Steve. Who's this? Brian. I says, all right. Firstly, congratulate you. I says, fuck off, Brian. You don't mean that. He went, no, no. Two things really, Steve. I'm wondering whether Terry and June would lend us the function room for my niece. I says, Brian, fuck off and get to the point. What do you want? Because you don't want fucking function room. He went, no, no, no, what it is, Steve.

33:16I'm wondering if you want a friendly. I went, Brian, get yourself fucked off. And I put phone down block number. No. That's the level of that bloke. Yeah. Because five years ago, I got put in front of a disciplinary committee. Yeah, why? I had to go and see the powers that be. because we drew Nag's head in a cup and it all kicked off. And I've gone on pitch. Some have got said, I got sent off. I still to this day believe that Brian Marshall paid that referee. And I went in front of the committee. That's a big claim, that. That's liable if that's not true. They're all up to it. FIFA, Saudis. People think that's just at top of the tree.

33:53It happens at a local level and all. Does it? Local corruption. Fucking hell. So we never got to use your function room then? We're nowhere fucking near. Terry and June hitting more than me. They hate him. Once he used to park a car, he'd car park and leave it for like days on end. June would be saying, fucking that's for my customers. Blah, blah, blah. His name's Dirty Pub. Really? But yeah, and then I got that, subsequently got a six-month ban for that. Fucking hell. You've done it all, you have, Steve. What makes a good manager? Honest, integrity, humbleness. If I can walk in that dressing room and have respect to my players, what hate Steve?

34:30if they feel they can come to me with a problem, as far as I'm concerned, that's job done. I can go and put my head on a pillow next to my neck. We had Ben Foster on here many moons ago. Good keeper in his day. Good keeper. And he told us a story about Capello. Have you heard the stories of Capello being a bit of a nightmare? I've heard he were very, very strict. Yeah, very strict. So what were some of the things he said? Because maybe we can have to see whether he would let... Yeah, so Capello wouldn't let the England players have ketchup on their... Ridiculous. You would allow that, right? I had a rate to do with our striker, Tom, it was last season.

35:09He'd had a Chinese munchie box, Nate, before. None of his salt and pepper munchie box is that outrage, no. Need a shit on pitch. Ten minutes with ten men, he had to go to fucking in bushes. Bob the Bucket's going to block him. We've got ten men, we've let a goal in. And you're allowing that? What can I do? Can't babysit, kid, in a Saturday night. Problem I've got is, obviously, I substitute. he now works at Royal Oak so what he's doing he's having lock-ins Nate before they're not coming out at local pub till half two half three in the morning they're expecting to turn up and then it's one they wonder why they're fucking dehydrated and they're pouring electrolytes down the gobs and it's just they've had salt and pepper chicken I'm surprised you allow this as a manager you've got to control what you can control yeah and leave what you can't I can't babysit them they're adults and they're men and I want them I've known these kids since they were 16 yeah I've watched them grow as men.

36:01Some of them. Who's the best player at your club? Winnie, number 10. Unbelievable on his day. Very erratic. A bit like that man. A bit like Power. A little bit like that man, but he was a bit more consistent. That's a little though. Right. We're going to have a quick game with you, Steve, right? We're going to do a winner stays on. We're going to give you two managers. You tell us the best one and then we'll pit them against someone else. Who are we starting with? So we'll go Stephen Gerrard or Frank Lampard. Frank Lampard, Stein. Frank Lampard or Sean Dyche? Sean Dyche. Sean Dyche or Tony Pulis?

36:37Tough on that, isn't it? Pulis. Tony Pulis or Harry Redknapp? Harry Redknapp. Harry Redknapp or Ian Holloway? Redknapp. Harry Redknapp or Neil Warnock? No, no, then. Neil's a very good friend of mine. Very good friend of mine. I'm going to have to say Warnock. Neil Warnock or Eddie Howe? Warnock. Warnock or David Moyes? Warnock. Warnock or Gareth Salvia? Warnock. Warnock or Eric Ten Haar? Warnock. Warnock or Van Gaal? Warnock. Warnock or Conde? Warnock. Warnock or Ancelotti? Warnock. Or Mourinho? Warnock. Warnock or Jurgen Klopp? I do like Klopp. But? Warnock. He's a good mate of mine. He's been there, done it, worn T-shirt, come through every level of football.

37:42We've got two more. Neil Warnock or Pep? Guardiola. Don't talk to me about Pep. I'm going on Warnock on a purely moral basis. What's Pep done to you? What's Pep done to me? Yeah. Got rid of FA Cup replays. So has Klopp. Yeah. That's fair. Basically welcomed in a Super League. Yeah. Worst thing to happen to English football since... Something that were equally as bad. Tenable. Final one. Neil Warnock or Sir Alex Ferguson? Fergie. I'll drop Warnock on Fergie because Fergie's the greatest manager of all time. Really? The greatest manager of all time. Because if you'd have asked that question 10 years ago, people would have always said Fergie, but now is a debate in there.

38:33Do you know what people forget about Fergie? They forget how angry you were, the fire he had. You were petrified of going head-to-head with Fergie. Same with me. It's Sunday League. They say, oh, you're too angry. They forget what Fergie were like. Who would you compare yourself to as a manager? Fergie. You're Fergie. The greatest manager of all time. No, I'm not saying that, but in terms of like how he is with his players hair dryer treatment hair dryer treatment but he would have fought the figure to him first thing that Ferguson did before he signed a player he went and met the mum and dad same with me with Tommy knocked on the door alright love alright Evelyn yeah come in you're Thomas and I see his record of achievement I remember it she showed me all his certificates all that he's doing this I thought he's the person who I want captain of my club.

39:23Fergie used to do the same. How the fuck do you have time, Steve? That's a Saturday morning, Dad. There's no wrong with that. How are you going with that? I don't live down here in this L.O. We have time. We make time. Saturday morning. Poor dog, our bonehead. Go and see Evelyn. Nippin. It only takes 20 minutes, Dad. Rang Paul up. He's in. He's in. So if I wanted to join and I had a bit about me, you thought it was good enough to get in the ark, you'd go see my mum and dad? If they're alive, yeah. If not, I'd fucking talk to him. I feel like his mum wouldn't give him a great recommendation. Well, then he wouldn't be signing up dotted line then, would he?

40:02No, I mean... No, I don't judge it purely on that. I'd like to get talent as well. Yeah, my dad would give you a stellar review. Yeah, my mum would just be on the Stellas. That's the difference.

40:15I didn't want to get that personal. You can talk... Listen, you can talk to me after. Right, OK, thank you. You put an arm around me, yeah? Of course. Yeah, I appreciate that. Right, so we just got you to rate some of the greatest managers of all time. Now, we came across you on TikTok back in November when you blew up. You're smashing it all online. Loads of followers. So well done on that, Steve. And since then, you've rubbed shoulders with a lot of content creators. Oh, who's that? Oh, we're on. That's Teddy. All right, Teddy. Terry, I'm on the Happy Hour podcast. Literally live now. But listen, tell them, tell them that they've got, they can join Last Man Standing, but they've got to put their money in first.

41:02There's no IOUs now. No, you can put it, they can put the name down, but you've got to take payment and there's a notebook behind bar. Make sure you put the name down and then we need first pick spice out there. if you don't worry about that i'll sort that out on tomorrow night all right mate see you pal bye that's last man standing oh is it in pub right um what was the question

41:34you've you've rubbed shoulders with a lot of youtubers now uh gone on a few podcasts that is a new world to me that i know you're a big youtuber i was googling it earlier Yeah. Right, yeah. I used to be. Fallen off a bit, Steve, if I'm honest. But you rub shoulders with the big ones, don't you? The big boys. You're the angry gingers of the world. Well, I don't know when will this go out, this podcast. Don't know, do you? Nah, a couple weeks. Two, three weeks. Well, for the viewers listening now, you'll know the result. On Sunday, I'm going to head to Edwidge Ginge. What are you doing? A good friend of mine, Aaron Hunt, runs a club called Day's Hill.

42:10Yeah. They're having a match against Winton United, which is Ginger's team. And Aaron's dragged me in for a bit of motivation. So you talk about the Wenger's, Ferguson's, the Klopp's Guardiola's, Bracknell Ginge. It's in that category, isn't it? It's up there, isn't it? What do you think Ginger's like as a manager? His team do quite well, don't they, Winton? Of course they do. He's put them in bottom league, hasn't he? It's all for subscribers, all for likes, all that. Yeah, right. Listen, I like the kid. It's no personal. And after, we'll share the bottle of wine. But before and during, I'm not going to bow down.

42:47Fucking hell, it's ginger. I'm not bothered. No. That does not faze me one bit. I'm going to send him packing back down to M60. Good night. I like that. Fire in your belly there. Yeah. We've got a list of YouTubers here. I don't know how many of them you've seen play football. But as a manager with a keen eye on footballing ability, we want you to do what you did before with the winner stays on but these are YouTubers if you don't know them you can just tell us go on Stevie kick us off who we got so we've got angry Ginge up against Cal Friese so we know you know both of these would they make it into Royal Oak Ginge can play yeah he can no doubt I've never seen Cal Friese play and I'm going to go Ginge yeah did you see him at Soccer Age thought he was great until Tevez tied him in an absolute knot and he came off fucking dizzy I think he's still turning round now okay angry ginger KSI angry ginger I don't like this I'm gonna I've got to be careful because I'm playing him on Sunday I don't psychologically affect me send but I've got to go angry ginger well let's hope you pick the next one I saw KSI play briefly at Ballers League and I was I was sceptical yeah a bit dusty I don't think he's known as being one of the better footballers than the YouTube and he can go selling that sugary drink would he not stop that out of the oak said it MOT Mick got a batch of it I don't know how he got it MOT Mick can get you and they were selling it for a short while but he weren't ripping people off like that Wakey Wine guy he was charging a decent price he was charging 250 a bottle line but er now fruit shoes do you want to try some?

44:25have you got some? yeah go on I'll try some never had it our Olivia keeps I ban it our Nikki ain't like our Olivia have it right because there's too much shit in it I don't know I can't say that I don't want to slag it he'll he'll he's got Here we go. Oh, right. We've got a few. In fairness, in fairness, they sent me some of Royal Oak colours. A bit warm. A bit warm, Steve. I can't lie. So what have you got there? Strawberry water. Those ones that we've given you are known as the hydration ones. And then this one's the energy one. Yeah. Let's have to Steve Bracknell. I think there's a market for a Bracknell drink.

45:02You always think it is. That's a bother, isn't it? Jesus Christ.

45:13I don't know. He fucking sleeps at night. Literally. He fucking can't with all that shit. So that was strawberry watermelon. Is he walking down the street drinking it? It's a strawberry banana. No wonder that Nicky fucking banned it. Jesus. Listen, kids love him. Who am I to slag him off? but that is not for me that. And Bob the Bucket, who's in charge of that hydration on a Sunday, will be having none of that. What about that one? You might like that one. Well, they do it in a can and all. Yeah. So this is like an energy drink one. These sponsor Arsenal in some capacity, Yeah, they do sponsor Arsenal, yeah.

45:54See, that's not bad now. Is it? Oh, it's one in round. The energy's one in round. Get that in at the oak. Look and he won't look like on front of a shirt. Just saying, K. I'll tell you what. That's actually not that bad. I've got to be fair. Steve, if you're looking for a bit of money, a few sponsors. Desperate for it. Yeah. KSI might watch this. Why don't you tell him you'll take Prime on? Do you want to stay hydrated? Have you got a sweet tooth? Try Prime. Embedded in grassroots football. Of course. Steve. We'll slow down this bit.

46:41I'm not selling that. Oh, he couldn't do it. He just lost millions of pounds. That was such a good ad until you tried it. Just fake it for another 10 seconds, Steve. You got the 10 mil. Couldn't do it. I hope I'm not getting a lawsuit from him, Logan. I'll have it. That's all right, that. Yeah. Right, so where were we? We were at Angry Ginge. Angry Ginge beats KSI. And then we're on Angry Ginge versus Chris MD. Angry Ginge. Really? Chris MD is known as potentially the best of the YouTube. I've got a... And you need to get rid of Angry Ginge. I slag Angry Ginge off. Yeah. Of course I do. He winds me up thinking he's Mr.

47:21Grassroots. But a kid helped me a lot. Yeah. In them early days, I was trying to get Royal Oak up to scratch. The kid helped me a lot. But I'm going to go Ginge. Okay. Angry Ginge or Mini Minter? Ginge Angry Ginge or Stephen Tries See I've never seen him play football I've only ever seen him crack jokes And they don't make me laugh that much So let's hope he takes a better free kick I don't think he's any good at football is he Nah Stephen's a nice kid I'm joking he does make me laugh You've played with him You did a whole Chris and Dee video with him didn't you Oh yeah Was he good Have you played in one of these side men matches Nah, they don't have me near it.

48:02Don't have me near it, Steve. I've slagged off Prime too much. This is it.

48:08He's got his finger in every fucking... I'll just face it, like. Set us back about three years. Because he's got his fingers in every pie, hasn't he? Yeah. His infiltrated system. You've got to be careful what you talk about. Cut that advert just as my face turns. Angry ginger again. I sound like I'm just fucking up his arse here. Angry Ginger still Ryan? Oh, nah then. Yeah. I'm going to go still Ryan. Yeah. I'm going to show some loyalty because you were the first kid to ask me on a podcast. Was he? Oh, nice. When it went, he were on ball when it went viral. Yeah. I don't think it had gone viral two hours.

48:44He went, all right, Steve. When I come to Liverpool, what? Yeah. Nine o 'clock. Fuck. Nicky, I'm going. I went home. Yeah. And apparently he can play. Yeah. And he's playing for me on Sunday. Is he? I've played centre-back with him. Good player. Yeah. Yeah. in a charity game. What makes you happy? Nice kid. That's good, that. Still Ryan or Theo Baker? Always with the injuries, Theo, isn't he? But good player. I did catch a bit of Theo on... He played in Wembley match, didn't he? Yeah, he's a good player. He looked a good player, but I'm still going to go Ryan. Yeah. Still Ryan or Joe Weller? Ryan.

49:22And finally. Still Ryan or the F2 Freestylers? see our Livia's friends at school are all into this yeah it's all right freestyling it's all right juggling all right doing all this what happens when a fucking six foot four fat kid goes bang into you Ryan could move yeah I'm gonna go Ryan there we go so the official Steve Bracknell best YouTube footballer is still Ryan he'll be buzzing off that he will be yeah I've got a big question for you moving on uh are you heard of Rory Jennings no Rory Jennings um YouTuber slash talk sport. I have heard of this. Go on. He said something controversial recently.

49:59You might know him quickly from last year. He went viral for saying Haaland won't be good in the Prem. Or two years ago. That's it. Well, recently he's hit the headlines again because he said that fans should never ever wear the club. I do know this. And I've seen what he said. Yeah. So fans should never wear the replica shirt at any point. He said there's a little bit of leeway if you're going running or if you're in the gym, but you shouldn't ever wear the club shirt even to a match. What do you think to that? Rory, are you that desperate for likes, mate? Are you that desperate that you're going to put that out as clickbait?

50:34No chance. You don't think he even believes it? He doesn't even believe it. It's a disgrace. And I'd like to announce here that Royal Oak shirt for 25-26, the biggest kit launch of the summer is here. You got some coming out? Pop-up shop, Sheffield. Do I want an exclusive? Yeah, go on. In fact, by the time this is out, it's probably at the right time. Right.

51:27This message is brought to you by AppleCard. With AppleCard, you earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases, like groceries, merch, or tickets to the game. Plus, it can be used anywhere MasterCard is accepted. No matter your team, no matter where you shop, AppleCard is here to help you tackle game day. Apply in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Terms and more at AppleCard.com. Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands you need. From athletic stuff, like a full-court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff, like a half-mile stroll.

52:07Get those steps in. And for morning hikes up the mountain trail, good pace. To nighttime ghost stories from the camping chair. What a twist. Whatever level of active, Sierra loves it all. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. We will be opening the first ever Sunday League club shop. Really? In Sheffield, selling famous black and blue stripes. I just made the priming shot. But no, back to, so yeah, I want all Royal Oak fans to wear it. That's, the shirt represents a connection between fan and club.

52:48Yeah, agreed. We'd wear it. We'd wear Royal Oak. I mean, I understand it if you're an Arsenal fan and there's fucking 12 on sale. Yeah. You know, oh, this one's to represent such and such. Is it? All right. Just tell it's truth. You want to make some fucking money. Yeah. Is that why you're doing it? Yeah. No. No. I think mine's a symbol of like the journey we've been on in this last 10 months. Yeah. As a thank you. It's 45 quid. You've got to pay me that. Yeah. But it is a thank you. Right. Will they be available online or only at the pop-up? Short pre-sale, yeah. We're going to have to get them, Jack.

53:21We have to wear them on here, aren't we? Grabbing me on here. Yeah, I'd love it. What do they look like then? I want to visualise them. We've gone for a classic Inter Milan 90s-inspired black and blue stripe with an embroidered crest. The crest remains the same, despite Snickers adverts and such like. That's the fucking worst thing to ever happen to West Ham when we change our badge and our ground. Not on there, is it? No. Have you got a sponsor across the front, or is that where you go? We're in final stages of negotiation.

53:52Now I've signed a deal. Watch him. KSI will ring me in one hour. Steve, things are great, RDR. Bastard. I think there's a 14-day cooling-off period, though, so someone in Sheffield might be getting a phone call that I don't want to. Right, Steve, before we let you go, we want to do a little bit on utter woke nonsense. Yes. So these are things that happened in sort of more modern football that people turn their nose up at and stuff like that. So we've got quite an extensive list there. We've got 15 things. We'll have a little chat with you about each one. And we want to know, does Bracknell allow it or want it gone?

54:29So if you don't want it, we want you to say utter woke nonsense. But if you want to keep it, you say you'll allow it. Yeah. Okay. So first of all, and I've heard you speak about this online, so I know where you stand on this one. but for the sake of the listeners, we're going to kick it off with... VAR. Scrap it. Get rid of it. Worst thing to happen ever in the game. And I mean that, ever. Would you get rid of it? I'd get rid of it all. I could have accepted goal line technology. Yeah. Especially when it broke at Villa Park and relegated Sheffield United. I was well behind it. But there were a line we crossed.

55:05When you start getting protractors out and measuring graphs, we've gone too far. You can't celebrate goals anymore. I mean, I don't follow a premiership football club, so I don't get that experience in ground, but I make a cup of tea now when a goal goes in. Then when I come in, I'm just about time to see whether it's a goal or not. I was in Prague a couple of years ago. West Ham were playing Sheffield United. What, in Prague? What? Into Totoo Cup. I was just watching on the telly. Right. I'm so confused. Sorry, I've worded that wrong. When did they qualify for Europa? You were in a pub in Prague.

55:44I was here in a pub in Prague and there was loads of Sheffield United fans. Unfortunate for you that pub. Yeah, mate. And it was 1-0 Sheffield United. Well, they don't like you because... And we hate them, yeah. Tevez. Yeah, because of that whole thing. And in the last minute, Declan Rice broke through. I can't remember if he scored, but he definitely assisted the goal. It was 1-1. But when Sheffield United went 1-0 up, the lads there recognised me and you were a West Ham fan. They were giving it all this and I was only playing Uno with Fiona in the corner. Minding your own business. Yeah, my own business.

56:11So when we equalised, I'd had a few beers by this point, so I ran over to the table and was like, ah, we're giving it back. You gave the lunatics. Then I went outside for a vape, came back in five minutes later, VAR had ruled it off. Oh! Can you imagine? I'd have been in Uber. Uber. I'd have not gone back in. I didn't know until I fucking walked in. It was horrible. If you allowed VAR, it would have stopped the hand of God, though, that you wanted to go back and try and stop yourself. It's an iconic moment, though. Yeah. We're losing these moments. Even if it's like the referees make the wrong decision, you kind of like that.

56:46That's a talking point. How would things have changed? Like the Lampard goal against Germany that definitely went over the line and then bounced back out. That's a good topic of a podcast. Moments that would have been different if VAR had been in. Yeah. The butterfly effect. England won a won World Cup. That didn't go in. Yeah. Yeah, true. Wow, okay. So that's, we're saying VAR, utter woke nonsense. Number two. Players wearing tiny socks and tiny shin pads. He hates it, look. Angry. Come and see me when you're in A &E with a broken fib and tib. Yeah. Yeah. And don't cut holes in your socks. Yeah, what's that about?

57:21Why'd they do that? Because they've seen Kyle Walker do it. If they were meant to have holes in, they'd come with holes in. What? Do you think Nike, their research centre, has just gone, ah, let them do it with the sense. Yeah. Let them cut them with the sense. Yeah. They would have fucking cut them if they needed to be cut. What are they doing it for? Because they're too tight around the leg? He's got his ability, apparently, according to my number 10. Breathe him out. I paid$4.99 from Sports Direct, and he's got scissors into him as soon as I've opened him. I was fuming. Do they get a new pair every game?

57:48No, no, no, no, no. They get two pairs. Look after him. If you lose him, you purchase him yourself. Yeah, fair enough. So players were... By the time you get into the sixth game, we look like Josie's Technicolor Dreamcoat because there's blue socks, blue shorts, yellow things. Okay, art-awoke nonsense. Kids holding up signs asking for stuff like shirts.

58:10because it's getting quite far now it's on the parents that yeah yeah it's on the parents he's begging yeah i know i'll bring my kid up to be like heartful dodger like stop it stop it don't ask yeah be given there was one at the cricket the other day i don't watch the cricket but i heard this on the radio there's one on the cricket and it was like x player um can i have your bat No! I fucking buy one! Did he get it? No, he didn't get it. I don't know. Right, so that's out of work nonsense. We're free for free. This one's... One of my Twitter followers gave me this one. I can't say I've heard this too much, but having three commentators for one game...

58:50Oh! Oh! And God bless Clive Tilsley, because he's been demoted. He's commentator this country's ever seen. Oh, now we'll stick him on Paramount here for 11 at night. We're in commentating Qatar. Yeah. Disgrace. Yeah. Fucking Carragher and Neville. You're not having them, boys? Three's a crowd, that's all I'm saying. It's not a social event. Right, okay. I want someone to describe what's happening. Yeah. Then another person. To add the colour. To add the colour. Little back and forth. We had enough. Yeah. But they liked the medal. And as for fucking referees getting involved, coming in like John Anderson in Gladiators.

59:32well they have a ref specifically to talk about var in these chances we're supposed to make things better yeah and they make things fucking worse that's the problem yeah i'm with you there mate oh this is a good one away players not stepping on the home team's badge oh please a show and respect please just a little bit of respect steve it's branded that much i'd have half a mind to tell Outer to go and piss on it. Because, no. Not having it? Not having it. Not having it. The next one is half-time interviews. A new thing they're looking for. That's apparently happening in the season, isn't it? Is this happening or is this just rumours?

1:00:09Because I've seen murmurings in it. Club World Cup, they did it there, didn't they? I think it was Cucurella that had to give a half-time interview during that. Lucky they were 2-0 up. Imagine if they were 2-0 down. Well, this is a problem. If I bring, if Parks is getting turned inside and on 35 minutes I go, because I'm not scared to make a decision I'm not Southgate I go and do it yeah right you know this is the other thing not making subs before half time yeah if it's not working change it change it yeah and then someone sticks a microphone in front of Park say Steve's a bold bastard fuck Steve blah blah he tells all my secrets because he will in here a moment will he do you know what it might be entertaining because truth might come out but it's only entertaining if you get the player that's losing and unhappy if you're getting the team who's 2-0 up every single time, it's just going to be like, well, they're happy, yeah.

1:00:59Yeah. I heard a thing on TalkSport the other day that this year in the Premier League, what is it they said, there's going to be cameras in all the changing rooms at half-time, and they're allowed to film whatever, and a team is only allowed something like free refusal. So if they're like, say they're getting batted 5-0 or something like good or something or whatever, they can say no cameras today, but then they owe it again for the next match. Oh, this is probably broadcasters have got too much power. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, let's do a couple more and then we'll let you go. XG. I still don't understand what it means.

1:01:33I still don't understand what it means. Expected goals. Yeah. And I've said it before and I'll say it again. I expect fucking goals every week. So what would you say your minimum XG for a game should be for Royal Oak? I want five. What, every game? I don't understand it. I genuinely don't understand it. No. Yeah, it's mad, isn't it? So what happens if a team's winning 1-0, 1-0, 1-0, then they win 6-0? Well, XG's 3-0. It's what it is, is if, say, a player's in front of goal and they have a shot and the keeper saves it or it goes over, the mathematicians work out how many times out... The word being mathematicians, not footballers or not managers.

1:02:18Mathematicians, stick to Excel, leave me to the touchline. Okay. How do you feel about only the captain being able to argue with the referee these days? I don't mind that. Yeah? But on premise, that VAR... Like, we'll get rid of VAR. We've given referees too much power, but we've got to meet them halfway. I'll just send me captain. A lot of these are mainly, like, things they bring into the prem, aren't they? But didn't you get in trouble in a Sunday league game for talking to the ref? Yeah. I hate when people, like, moan about what happened to them on a Sunday league, because they always act like they're the...

1:02:49Like, I didn't do anything wrong. but I was playing this ref the other day and this player's caught me so I've ran past it ran past the ref and I went oh he's caught me late there ref ref goes come here come here what he gives me a yellow and I go what and I'm just like I've not even shouted at you or anything and then five minutes later I go over to him and I go ref how long like that he sent me off for talking to him he said I weren't allowed to talk to him are you agreeing with that I know what they're like mate I've seen every tricking book with referees every tricking book I reckon the other team paid him There'll be brown envelope galore, mate.

1:03:23Right, let's do three more. Let's pick them at random. Let's do set-piece coaches on the side of the pitch. Oh, my Lord, when I heard this. What does manager do then? Yeah. What does manager do? You've seen this fella at Arsenal who does it all the time. I'm going to contradict me saying he's done a good job, haven't I? But what's Arteta's fucking role? Yeah. What's he do? Would you have a set-piece coach at Royal Oak? I am the set-piece coach. And he sees you. He's standing in line. And we scatter. Unpredictability. You know. How do the players know where to go, though, if you just say scatter?

1:03:57They weigh it up. Split this quick decision. Think on your feet. Otherwise, it's a choreographed pantomime. I don't want that. I want spontaneous man. Yeah, but you say scatter. What about you've got three players running the same fucking bit? Well, let's talk fucking burgers.

1:04:19celebrities buying football clubs we've got Ryan Reynolds at Wrexham we've got Tom Brady at Birmingham is that good for the game is that bad for the game is that out of work nonsense I don't mind it no I don't mind it but don't don't tell me it's a fairy tale no don't dress it up Ryan as Ryan Mr Reynolds as some sort of rags to riches story yeah you've got fucking TikTok on front of that shirt yeah and we know they're shrouded in Mr. N okay um players asking other players for their shirt before full-time

1:04:55ridiculous before even at full-time yeah you don't think they should swap why don't you want your own shirt up yeah i hear nicky that's jeff who played for darnel club in 1998 or nicky that's my shirt that i wore like she'd be much more impressed with mine Yeah. I'm not into it, never have been. No. Saying that, if I were at Martin Odds, who took Maradona's in 86 to come back to that game, it meant about 10 million quid, didn't it? Yeah. I always wonder, did he share that with the rest of the lads? Because he's essentially a millionaire for standing next to Maradona and Whistlewind. Yeah, I don't think he shared it.

1:05:30I'd like to get to the bottom of that. One of our hosts who we have on here is a guy called Robbie Knox from Soccer AM. No, Robbie Well. Yeah. Big music fan, Robbie. Yeah, massive fan. And he told us a story about when he was working on Soccer AM, that it was the fellow who had the Hodges was it? Not Martin Hodge Steve Hodges Steve Hodges he brought this is before the shirt sold for millions he brought that shirt onto the Soccer M in a Tesco carrier bag and they were all just wearing it on the show like it was nothing how mad is that? If they knew that it would have been worth less wouldn't it?

1:06:01It's just gone down two million quid What about players refusing to celebrate against their old team? Get a transfer in if for any reason Terry and June decide to sack me essentially you know they are the custodians of the club they can make that decision if they want and I I'd want to keep in Sunday League and I'm against Oak oh yeah what would you do I'd have respect you go back to Avon Don you go back to Carpet Dave and MOT Mick and Tommy I'd have an hard time going up saying that it might go the other way fucking ass shut up shut up might have been you'd know in the moment wouldn't you depends on circumstances doesn't it I'll tell you what other game I was at because my other teammate got me a ticket remember when Adebayos ran a oh I was here were you when he ran the full length of the pitch full length of the pitch and I thought you know what I like that did you but they'll probably book him they'll probably give him this is problem now players getting fined all yellow cards for celebrating yeah taking the tops off bring back taking the top off bring it I want Ryan Giggs, hairy chest.

1:07:12All right. I won't shag your brother. I want fucking hairy chest, top off. Yeah. Hair of moments. VAR's killed their moments, hasn't it? Yeah, you bang on. You bang on. Most of them we voted were out of woke nonsense, so the game's fucked, didn't it? The game's fucked. You were talking about moments. You're having a few moments coming up in October. Yes. You're going out on tour, aren't you? I am, I. I think it's time that the fans came and saw me face to face. I promised when I went viral that I'd provide them with 100 % transparency at club. Yeah. And that's my way of saying, look, come and see behind curtain.

1:07:47Steve Bratton alive. What can people expect coming to see you? We're going to show them the inner workings of the pub and the club. From Terry and June, landlord and landlady, down to Carpet Dave, down to Bob the Bucket. We're going to give you an insight into the inner workings of the club. Will there be other people on stage? I can't. Well, you'll have to come and buy a ticket, won't you? and then we're going to you know I will be sharing my philosophy on how for 28 years I've navigated the Sunday league yeah you're saying it all against the backdrop of the modern game you're going to be doing a Q &A stuff like that I'll do a job lot we'll meet in Weatherspoons first no problem it'd be great to see fans really because it's all through a screen isn't it yeah how do you feel or how do you think you're going to feel that first time walking out on stage Very emotional.

1:08:35Will you be nervous? Nervous energy there? Not with fan base we've got. No. The club motto is together as one. Simo and Mullian Latin. Yeah. Although, having recently Googled that, we might have got that wrong translation. It's actually, I'm a milkman. You think I'm lying. That weren't a joke. But no, I won't feel nerves. I'll feel it. You told that. I'm a milkman. Let me sell it to her first, and then I'll come to that. No, I'm going to feel at one. They're my fan base. They're on my side as soon as I walk out. You know, it'll be a great atmosphere. Flags hung up, we'll have a raffle. Yeah. Brilliant.

1:09:14Pop quiz. We'll do job lot. They'll leave a lot more knowledgeable about the beautiful game than when they arrive, put it that way. Yeah. But back to me badge. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what happened. He got lost in translation and Winnie, as a sign of loyalty, had Simo Amul tattooed on his chest. Oh, wow. I've Googled it. I'm a milkman. But under his nipple as well. Under his nipple. So I don't know what the actual translation is of Together As One. If someone who speaks Latin could tell me. Maybe you'll have someone come to the tour that speaks Latin. You can ask them. It does happen. Jack did it with his tattoo.

1:09:49He thought he was being nice and getting Greek, and he's messed that up. Yeah, I don't know what that says. Carpe diem. That was classic, weren't it? Carpe diem, but they've never been out at Royal Oak. Now, if you want to go and see Steve Bracknell on tour, You're going to London, you're going to Glasgow, Sheffield, Birmingham, Manchester, and then finishing at the Liverpool Royal Philharmonic. That sounds like I'm going to sing opera. Mate, yeah, you're doing some big venues there. Why not? Yeah. I would always tell Jumping Deep End. Yep. Sing or swim. We've done a few of these as well. Have you?

1:10:24Yeah, we took this on tour. You're not doing Norwich, though? Yeah. What's that all about? Yeah, what the fuck's that about, Steve? Fucking about four and a half hour there, innit? One road in, one road out. We love you in Norwich. Oh, sorry, you're from Norwich, aren't you? Here I am, slagging it off. Great mustard. We haven't got the mustard anymore. Apparently Coleman's a fucker. Oh, here we go. What's that all about? Yeah. Steve, it's been a pleasure, mate. Thank you very much. It means well to me. Great getting to know you. We can't wait to get our hands on a Royal Oak shirt and rep it here on the podcast.

1:10:50I'll be sending you one down. I really do. I'm humbled by the support that I've been shown in these last few months. You're smashing it, mate. It's good to see you as well. Where can people get tickets to see you on tour? Go on to me socials. there'll be a link on there and yeah come and see me come and see whites of my eyes come and see inner workings of the country's favourite Sunday League football club and apart from the tour what you've got coming up in 2025 we've got a big kit launch there's rumours of a little podcast but oh I don't know if Bob can commit he's mumping Bob because they want to record it on a Sunday night and he likes to go to Oak on a Sunday night so he'll probably never fucking turn up but I want to go and win league yeah I want to win league don't forget like it's all well and good all this and it's great but me meat and two veggies on a Sunday morning on touchline in piss wet rain that's what it's all about that's what it's about so let's hope for some glory so what's the what's the Royal Oak catchphrase what's your thing together as one there we go this has been Jack Mate's happy hour podcast with me Jack Mate Stevie White Steve Bracknell together as one Steve what's the meaning of life mate what's the meaning of life

1:12:02I like watching that, mate. You know, playing cocks and all that stuff. I watched it over morning. Over night we had a Nicky. And he said something like, there's 400 billion stars and like two trillion galaxies. And I'm like, fucking hell, Nicky. He says, just think about that, Nicky. Trillions of galaxies, each with 400 billion stars in. and we're sat here having a conversation about fucking Bergamot re-diffusers there's got to be something more to this life Nicky she went Steve you're eight we should pick up walking again oh there you go I don't know if that's answered your question but that's what it triggered yeah it hasn't but thank you cheers Steve I didn't know what fucking me I didn't understand the question

1:13:03Jack makes happy hour.

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1:14:05This show gives me a reason to laugh.