583 - Is It Weird To...?

26:57You're keeping watch. Yeah. You are keeping watch while I sleep. When you sleep, who sleeps closest to the door of the bedroom? Oh, man has to. Ready if anyone comes in. I don't either. Do you not? No, I've got no door on the bedroom. Not my choice. Why? Not my choice. So you sleep on the right side of the bed? Left. I sleep on the left. Yeah, but my door's on the right. Hold on, when you're looking at the bed. No, when you're on the bed, Stevie, not when you're looking at it. You're not going from the fucking other person's view. Do you sleep on the left or the right? No, because I'm getting onto the bed.

27:29So I'm getting onto the, I'm going, I sleep on the left as well. We all sleep the same side. Nice. That's weird. So none of us could sleep together. What? Oh, you're a fucking idiot then, aren't you? If you're looking at the bed. No, he's not sitting on the bed. When you're laying on the bed. Okay, so we all sleep on the left. Yeah, there. Yeah, but because of my left, I've always slept on the left. So now when we moved house, the door's now on the closest to the right. I can sleep on the right. I can sleep in the middle on the right on the left yeah can't do that hotel room middle like a fucking king when you're alone yeah no that's fine we're saying when you're in middle legs out of this that's fine you sleep wherever you want you sleep diagonally on your own but when you're in bed with Ali always always left no you two mix it up that's weird one night ago I was editing late and the plug was that side so I was just like can I go that side tonight?

28:26Yeah, of course you can. That's well weird. My Feng Shui would be all out of whack. I wouldn't be able to sleep. Very unsettling. But you do it for each other. Well, there's one we can finally answer. Is it weird to swap sides of the bed? Yes. Write that down, Fee. We found a weird thing. Walking down the street, singing, talking. I only have one song that will come into my head, right? So I've got like these two, I don't know if you call them tics, right? You know if you do this? Like that. Tap. And you probably heard me do this. I always, and I've done this for years, do the strictly come down to the theme tune.

29:07That's my thing. I've never noticed you do that. Have you not? Fee, that's my thing, right? Annoyingly, yes. Yeah, it is. And. Hey. You can tell you've done that a fair few times. Because of some time. And the song that always comes in my brain when I'm walking down the street, it's very superstitious. Oh nice What? Sorry you said it like it's a very superstitious song So I got confused Don't get it Don't tell Jake That's quite a good song Is that what you're feeling? You're feeling like there's a heavy bass line As you're just walking down the street I think I'm in flares Really? I cannot remember the last time I walked down the street And felt like oh yeah You should be singing out loud as well That's your thing I hum Do you?

29:53Oh, boy, yeah. How loud?

29:59Is this when you've got no headphones and stuff? Yeah, or just like shopping. No, it's just like, that's very superstitious. You know, something I do that is quite obnoxious sometimes, when I'm shopping and I've got no headphones in or something, I'll whistle occasionally. And I hate myself when I do it. I catch myself doing it going, I need to stop doing that. My granddad whistles 24-7. My nan says it's really annoying, but I think it's quite cute. Oh, so you think I'm cute? No, you're not my granddad. mind you some of the things he says are not cute is it weird to sleep naked we spoke about that before we can cover it again quickly we can boss over it I can't do it really your pants panties no football shorts I have three pairs what no boxers yeah no boxers three pairs of football shorts exclusively sleeping ones what do you think about that that is strange I don't like the thought that I'd have to rush out the house and my little general's out.

30:54Yeah, but I think if I'm rushing out of the house as an emergency, there's bigger problems than the size of my penis. No, not for me, mate. No? Can't have people seeing that. The football shorts you're wearing are they the ones with the netting or just... Loose, baby. Loosey, loosey-goosey. Yeah, I think I'd get too many erections. What? Because you're in football shorts. No, seeing him in football shorts. Let's let Jack explain that one. Yeah. Because certain materials wake up. You get erections quite easily, don't you? Hold on. We played football together the other day. You were quite horny, man.

31:25No, not horny erections. Just like naturally, like, why has that happened? No, you know why. The material does it to you. Yeah, but I'm not going, oh, that's sexy. I'm just going, that's made that wake up. Are you erect when we play for saxlinger? No, but Wenson. No, because I've got boxers on yet. I'm used to the feeling of boxers, right? So I'm never... I can't believe it. Erect. I'm 32. I'm never, like, just getting erections in boxers. Okay. But like I said before on here, and people agreed for me, if you just wear joggers, no boxers, oh yes. Is it because there's more friction in those? I don't know.

32:01It's just a weird feeling. It's just like an unusual like, oh. What's it touching? The joggers. What part? Is it the end? I don't understand why you're getting around. He wants to know what part of your Williams touch you. I don't know. I can't explain it, but people wrote in last time. Fair enough. Like a radio show. you know you don't get that absolutely not no no so you think it's weird to sleep naked yeah I feel like it's on the off chance that you end up in a scenario where you're outside naked as like a like I'm thinking of a primal human who needs to be ready to react to stuff in their sleep but you're not even sleeping the side where the fucking door is so you're not ready for anything Ali's ready no I jump in if she needs if she needs a hand so you'll let her see if she can cope with it first oh yeah yeah yeah I'm not sexist mate fair I've just asked Grok.

32:51You've asked him why? Why do I get erections when I wear... Oh, you asked him that. I thought you meant about the... Jogging bottoms without boxer shorts. You know they store all your conversations. I've asked him worse than this. Wearing jogging bottoms without boxer shorts can lead to erections due to increased stimulation and sensitivity. Joggers are typically loose-fitting and made of soft, flexible materials that create more friction or contact with the genital area compared to tighter underwear or structured pants. Without boxers, there's less of a barrier to reduce the sensation. It can trigger arousal.

33:24That's interesting. I think you need to exercise more self-control. Yeah. How often are you erect? Stevie. What? What the fuck? It's a fair question. He's saying self-control. We want to know if you're constant. Not loads. Not loads. Rarely. Because I wear boxers. I keep it under control. Ever had one here? Genuinely. Have you ever had one here while I've been pulled in a pod? because I'd feel really uncomfortable with it. I haven't. If you ever do, you tell me. Surely that would make you more uncomfortable. No, I need to know. This is fucking horrible. Yeah, let's... What was the question? Sleeping naked.

33:58I think it's completely fine. Fine, fine. Yeah. Is it weird to pop other people's spots? Yeah. Ooh, yeah. I don't like that. Do you have yours popped? No. No? I wouldn't want them popped. Really? How do you get the ones on your back then? Just leave them. Do you? Pussy. Yeah. Leave them pussy. Yeah, they're awful. Awful covered. why are they covered marmalades it's not I've got loads of I think it's a gym thing roids isn't it those are the rumours mate nah I'm scared of needles so if you if you feel like you've got a big one on your shoulder blade you wouldn't just go Ali get that for me no no no really see I I don't mind having them popped but I think it's mental that people want to pop them yeah I would pop them would you but I'm more of the poppy yeah I'm a poppy not a popper would you pop one of these Yeah, I've done, yeah.

34:47Really? Yeah. Wow. I don't think that's weird at all. I would do it for somebody else if they wanted me to, but... Me? Maybe not you. Would you not pop a spot for Jack? Whatever's on his back, it's really annoying him. No one else is around. It's on my penis. I'm not wearing boxers. You're wearing joggers? Yeah. Are we saying it's weird then? I think it's weird, personally. I don't know why you want to... It's a bit invasive. And people like watching the videos of people doing it as well. No, yeah. Can't do that either. It's gross. I fucking can't do that. That's gross. I don't want it on my hands.

35:20No, but you pop someone's and then just wipe it off. You've got to wash your hands. Wipe it off on tissue paper. And soap and water. Yeah. Yeah. Not weird. We're saying not weird. I'm saying weird. I'm saying weird to that. You do it and you're saying it's weird. No, I'm saying being the poppy, not weird. Being the popper, weird. Yeah. So you're saying it's weird for your wife. The person who wants. Yeah, if she likes doing it. To pop your dirty spots. Yeah, weird from her. Right. Thank you though. Fair enough. is it weird to find cartoon characters attractive that's a this is a good one here it's a good question this is a thinker half the world love this as well anime is often topping the charts on pornographic websites think about that let that sink in weird to find a cartoon character attractive is it it feels kind of ingrained in us doesn't it like as you grow up you because you watch a lot of cartoons you naturally start going oh she's a pretty girl that's probably when you first get aroused when you watch a cartoon because you're not going like you're not as a kid just whacking on some extreme porn are you you're probably what are you talking like a scientist what's extreme porn I'm saying extreme porn I just mean like graphic porn pornography I reckon the first time that I ever saw something that was that sexy was probably like

36:45like an episode of the Simpsons when Marge has her hair down. Oh yeah. You had to think about it and then that came through a bit easily. Oh, I thought about it for ages. Marge has her hair down and what's... You know sometimes in the Simpsons when Marge goes out she takes her hair down and it's just like got long or when it comes back to her younger. You like that? I'm like, I imagine... I imagine I was probably like, that's quite sexy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not judging you. I remember it. Go on. No, I just remember at school, I was very late to all of this. Right. Which isn't surprising. But my mate was like, oh my God, there's like Simpsons porn or something like that.

37:30Oh yeah, we all go through that phase. And he never showed it to me, but what was that? Yeah, absolutely. Has someone redrawn everything? Yeah, I remember this. at school as well. They must be quite talented artists to recreate. They are, and it was before AI as well. Yeah. But what I will say, and this is actually serious, I'm not making jokes about this, but they don't... Don't, because you can't go from such a... No. You can't suddenly go serious now. Right. Well, I'm going to... No, but now I'm like all over the place and I don't have to deal with it. I'm just saying, these nutters that make the Simpson porn, they don't care about which character they're doing it on.

38:03Yeah. You know what I mean? And that's why it's fucking weird. You'll get like Bart and Marge together.

38:12I remember at school it went round And it's graphic as well Can I say that when I'm on the air? What the fuck? It's graphic I'm not laughing at that

38:23Why are we talking about this? I fucking hate this pod Do you wish the drill was still going? Why are we talking about this? This isn't what a pod was supposed to be No the question was is it weird? I didn't have bought that Is it weird? Who would you want to say that? I thought you'd want to know. He brought it out. But I didn't know it was that. I thought it was just Marge, like, oh, I had Poma, like. No, weird. Graphic as well. Stop. Proper graphic. So is it weird to find cartoons attractive? That's weird. That is fucking weird. Yeah, that's weird. Really weird. But that is genuinely. That's illegal.

39:00That's pedophilic. But there were characters designed to make, like, to be attractive, weren't there? Like Jessica Rabbit was known as like being like the perfect cartoon. Betty Boop. She was one of them. Yeah, I never got that. Don't know that one. What's that one? My mum's got a tattoo of Betty Boop. So I don't really like to think about it. What? My mum's got a tattoo of Betty Boop. Why? She likes the character. She had loads of it in the house. Fucking. Betty Boop. So fucking. I'm trying to think of which one that was. That is so mild craft. How would you describe like red polka dots? Oh yeah.

39:29I'll show you. And like a Bob haircut. Yeah. Hooper earrings. Betty Boop right like loads of mums have like this this is the exact tattoo my mum's got by the way that oh my god she's got a tattoo of it yeah yeah it's like that what is it with your family and tattoo weird tattoos leave it yeah but look she's meant to be a bit hot look what is that character in the show I don't know is it a mum I don't know but it does look like Shuey Griffin in a wig I don't know what she's from is she from like a cartoon thing Let me ask my mate. For God's sake. Right. Right. Hello, mate. Just doing the podcast with Alfie and Stevie.

40:11They send the regards. What's Betty Boop from? Hey there. Betty Boop is a classic cartoon character from the 1930s. She originally appeared in the Tor cartoon and Betty Boop series of animated short films produced by Fleischer Studios. So from the 1930s, do you think they were creating characters like that? because everyone was obviously a lot more prudish back then. So they weren't getting hardcore porn, as you say. Right. So do you think because they've created characters where they could still look at these things and find it sexual? Yeah, it's like, look at when the soldiers used to go to war in World War I.

40:47They'd have pinups of cartoons of sailor women and stuff like that. That's why all the big sailor tattoos came in. You get pinup girls on that. Pinup girls and stuff like that, yeah. What, so they've got something to look at? Yeah, yeah. So the sailors go, yeah. What might go with their own arm? I reckon so, yeah. They're tattooing some... What's that on your phone? That's what I'm saying about when Marge looks beautiful. Is that your screen saying? I just saw it on the table. When Marge looked beautiful. You're a fucking creep, mate. Is that what you just said? Oh, this is when Marge looked beautiful.

41:23Well, that's all right. Like, right. Okay, last time I'm going to do this in the pod because people will kick off, but too late. Is it okay to find a cartoon sexy? Why aren't you just asking that instead of us? I don't need his opinion. I'm here to help with any questions or topics you're interested in. That's what we're here for. Something specific you'd like to know or discuss. Feel free to let me know. Yes, yes. Is it okay to find a cartoon character sexy? It's completely normal for people to have different opinions and feelings about characters in media. On the fence. What's important is to respect yourself and others and to enjoy media in a way that feels comfortable for you.

42:03Sorry, last thing. My friend Stevie White finds Maggie Simpson attractive. Fuck off. Fuck off. That is mental. It's okay to have different... No, that's fucking not. Fuck him off. That's weird. Weird the plug. We don't need weird robot man. Oh God, I'm laughing. Right, what... You don't have to say that. It's like you've just got an LOL. Are we leaving that then? So is it weird to find cartoon characters? Are we saying the adult ones? It's all right. Yeah. Okay. Well, I think they're designed to look... They've been created in a way to have the features that men find attractive. We spoke about this on the pod before.

42:40In anime, there's a lot of this, isn't there? Yeah. Do women... Are there male cartoon characters that are kind of... Tarzan. There we go. Tarzan. Great shout out. Good looking bloke. Yeah. So we fancy him too. Don't know that one. Johnny Bravo? Huh, huh, yeah. Him. He just constantly looks like a Cartoon Network character. He's designed kind of around Elvis, but a big blonde. There is actually a problematic thing where, you know when you get Pokemon? That's a kid's thing. But they sexualise the women a bit in that, don't they? Like Misty's always wearing low-cut tops. Yeah, but she's a kid. No, Misty's not.

43:14She's in a yellow thing. Is she? What about Jessie then? Jessie from Team Rocket. She's got a crop top on. I used to fancy her. Okay. That's fine. Next one. Okay. It's fine. Is it weird to people watch? From athletic stuff like a full court pickup game, swish, to athletic stuff like a half mile stroll. Get those steps in. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic, Sierra's got it. Fall has never looked or tasted this good. Sweet Greens Fall Harvest Menu is back with seasonal favorites dressed to impress and made to be devoured.

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44:35And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com. Oh, I love a people watch. Big fan of doing that. People watch. I watched where I live this guy and this kid had a fight oh yeah and I watched it with a coffee hold on when you say a guy and a kid what age difference are we talking about say 45 and 12 what it was well weird was it dad and son or no no they were doing what Alfie they just nearly had a fight didn't really know what to do so I just sat on a wall could you hear him mate I was right there you just sat on a wall drinking a coffee yeah this is fun he this guy like I think this kid had been misbehaving.

45:22There's quite a few like misbehaving kids where I live. Right. And he'd done something. And then the guy went and moved this kid's scooter across the road to somewhere else, being like, you can't have your scooter there. And the kids come out. He's like, fam, I'll fuck you up. I'll fuck you up. And they like started squaring up to each other. And then this bigger kid came out and was like, you fucking touch him off fucking. And the guy was like, you leave me alone now. the like man was see I'd like to watch that yeah that was quite interesting yeah yeah I was scared is it weird that you didn't get involved no I think you did the right thing I should have walked away yeah weird that you did just sit there should have left I wanted to see what happened but I guess awful what a terrible person it was weird because watching it there might have been a moment where you felt like you had to step in if he started hitting the kid oh yeah you would have probably felt like you had to step in however yeah when that bigger person came out and started fighting, you probably wouldn't want to step in then, would you?

46:19No, no, I was scared of him. He looked like he'd been in like 50 fights. Like he was not scared of this guy. And that guy, that kid was probably like 19. I don't know if that's people watching though, because that's seeing, I think people watching is when you're watching someone who's not doing anything. Yeah. You're like in a coffee shop, you're watching the world go by. And then there's like someone just walking past. You create your own story. What's their story? What are they up to? And then you sort of just stare at them for ages. Do you ever pull up beside someone in traffic, right? And you're there for ages.

46:48You look at them and you think, I'm never ever going to see you ever again. But you're just going to go off and have your life. Yeah. And you've had your life so far and we'll never ever cross paths again. But right now we're just like next to each other. We're in the same lane. Weird, isn't it? Well, it's net lane. Different lanes, technically. I always think it's weird as well, like when you don't see a friend for ages and you see him like maybe a few months later and they've done loads of shit in a few months. Yeah. And it's like people, everyone else is still living a life. Yeah. I used to find it weird when I'd go on holiday.

47:19And obviously as a kid, when you go on holiday to a foreign country, it's like the best thing in the world. And you're on the beach or whatever. You're not at school when all your mates are. And you're looking around. It's like Tuesday afternoon. You'd normally be doing food tech or whatever. And they're all on the beach having an amazing time. And then you go back to school and you think, right now there are hundreds of people on the beach in Tenerife. Yeah. And I'm here. There are right now. Yeah, right now there are people on the beach. Shout out you lot. Shout out. If anyone's listening to this on a beach, let us know.

47:48Send us a selfie. Yeah. No, no, that's weird. You've made it weird. Being swimwear. Why is it you twist that? Such a nice, innocent thing you wanted to do to engage the audience. Prove that you're listening. Right. What was that then? Is it weird to people watch? I think it's fine. But it does make me think, how often am I being watched? How often am I just going about my normal day-to-day stuff and someone's creating something like me. I'd love to know how many people, you walk past people and they go, is that Alfie D... And then they stop. Never. No, I bet. Back in the day, maybe. I bet there's loads, yeah.

48:26Is it weird to... I'm trying to find a good one here. Is it weird to wear pyjamas in the supermarket? No. No? What, it's not weird. You do this. I don't really wear pyjamas, but I wear like... Well, you wear football shorts. I actually sometimes will. No top? No, I'll put my top on. what you're pants no pants in the supermarket you commando the supermarket there's a lot swinging about there you'd be surprised uh would i yeah i probably i know tell you what i'd do i'd have shorts and then i'd chuck a pair of joggers on over the top yeah that's acceptable yeah but i wear like sliders yeah i've done sliders i wear like what i'm sleeping in yeah like yeah i think that's fine i watch this um woman on tiktok who does who does these things where it's like rejection or like it's not i've seen her yeah i've seen a guy doing it in australia yeah have you seen the one i've seen she like i've seen one that goes up and she goes and asks people like she'll ask like a builder to borrow their hat yeah can i put your hat on yeah yeah that's her yeah it's really cool or she'll like go to the supermarket with like hair in curlers like a onesie yeah like that or she'll go into the supermarket with like all horrible not horrible but like purposely messy makeup, like the Joker, or she'll go, can you film me a minute to like a straight-man supermarket and then she'll just like do 10 star jumps.

49:47Yeah. Because it's meant to make you more confident. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could you do that? If I was getting loads of followers and likes on TikTok, I'd do it, yeah. I almost think it doesn't count because I'd be willing to do quite a lot on camera, but the second the camera's gone, I wouldn't do that again. Would she now go and do all that if none of it was being filmed? has it actually boosted her confidence at all or is she doing it because she's got a load of followers that are watching it it's a good point but then again she is just going on her own do you know what I mean it's not like you're going with me and I'm filming you no I know but when we did the pub crawl video and I had to do stand up to everyone if we went on a night out this weekend and you told me to do that I just wouldn't there's no world that I'd feel like oh that would be good to do I just wouldn't do it but if there's a camera there I'll do it straight away again attention whore in a way because it's beneficial to you isn't it So I'm intrigued to know whether it's actually helped rejection therapy at all, or if it is purely because the camera's there.

50:43Yeah, fair enough. So it's not weird to wear pyjamas in a supermarket. Is it weird to split up a domestic argument in public? You hear two people, they're going at each other's throats. Do you get involved? I think it depends how serious it gets. Yeah. If it gets like you think someone's going to get hurt, maybe. Do you want to hear my story? Yes. I was going to tell you the other day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stevie, you've heard it. The maddest fucking thing happened to me outside Wembley. I was going to tweet about it, and then I bottled it because people would say this didn't happen. You saved it for us, so it's fine.

51:17So I'm coming out of Wembley. I'm with my friend Tom Norris from I Could Murderer podcast. We're walking down the road. This is after Oasis. There's hundreds and hundreds of people. There's a car to my right that's like going the same speed as me walking, and all the other cars are beeping at this car, like, move, move, move. I'm not really thinking much of it. then all of a sudden the passenger side door swings open and i can hear this woman going help me help me and i'm right there like the door fucking hit me so i go oh my god like what's like what's up she goes help me he's gonna stab me he's gonna stab me so i'm like oh my fucking god like it was like fight or flight in that moment i then go like poke my head in the door and it was like this couple couple from london and he was going he was gonna i'm not gonna stab her i'm not gonna stab her but then i realize he's holding her hair with both hands so she's like got one leg out the car head back and he's got a hair and i go mate just let go of her hair like i don't know if he's gonna listen to me but i'm like just let go and she's going ah ah you're hurting me i'm like mate just let go of her hair and then um he goes she's got my phone she's got my phone so i'm like have you got his phone and she's got a phone in her hand and she goes that's my phone that's my phone and i'm like oh fuck me like i don't know what to do here i keep turning around by the way I'm not saying I'm this fucking...

52:34Actually, I am fucking saying I'm this white knight because every other fucking person walked past, right? And I kept turning around going, can someone help? Can someone help? She's screaming help. No one's helping. There was like two people just stood there watching and then I go to her, can you give him his phone back? She goes, it's my phone. So I grabbed the phone off of her because I'm now thinking the only way he's saying he's going to let her go is if he gets the phone, right? Why would you worry about your phone if he's got a knife? Like, I don't get it. Yeah, you'd leave it. So I get the phone, press the thing, and I don't know if this means anything, but the wallpaper was of a woman.

53:08Okay. So I thought... But not her. Not her. No, I couldn't tell in that moment, right? It was so quick. I was just like, that's a woman. I don't know. And then, so I was like, is that her? For me in that moment, I thought that's more likely to be his phone, right? She might, that might've been her sister or something. I don't know, but I'm making a split decision. So I go, mate, is this your phone? And then he goes, yeah. he goes if you give me um if you give me the phone i'll let go so i think fuck it let's just get her out of this car so i chuck the phone to him and then she goes straight in his glove box she's screaming the whole time call the police call the police yeah go straight in the glove box gets a wallet out right he goes that's my wallet you bitch that's my wallet she's going he's got a knife he's got a knife and then i go is that his wallet and then i'm like right the why does she keep taking stuff i don't know and then i started to think maybe she's the i don't really know but then i started to think and i had to make like a quick judgment so it's like I know it's stereotypical, but I thought men more typically have wallets.

54:02So I was like, right, I think that's his fucking wallet. So I get the wallet and I go to the man. I go, mate, if I give you this wallet, will you let her go? And he goes, yes, bruv, yes. And I throw the wallet to him and he just let her go straight away like that. So I pull her out of this car. By the way, it's still trawling the whole time. I'm like moving with it. This all happened in about a minute, by the way. And then I sort of pull her out of the car. She goes, my stuff, my stuff. Her suitcase goes all over the road. I'm picking it up like that. and then as it goes she then gets her suitcase walks up the road and he's going shut the door shut the door like that so I go back over to the car and I just poke my head in the car I go mate I'm so sorry I don't know what the right fucking thing to do is here like that he goes that's okay that's okay shut the door I shut the door and he just speeds up off the road where'd she go?

54:43she was walking up the road with a suitcase like she seemed like she was alright did she say thank you to you? nothing nothing and then I turned round and there was a couple there my age I think they kind of I got the vote they knew who I was you always think that though and I said oh like kind of jokey I went oh thanks for helping guys yeah nice one like that and then they went oh well we didn't know what to do I went well I didn't fucking know what to do what'd Tom Norris do fuck all fuck all and then he got in then Bea picked us up and we told her and then he went you look like you had that under control I went I've got shit in my pants Tom so I clearly didn't I've got a full nappy now that's horrific that's insane this is why I don't leave the house shit like that happens that's mental it's a rare thing to happen while we're talking about oasis by the way um i got a brand deal there last minute um jack smith sorted it out and it was like with a delivery company that sponsors the gig so i went down and uh i told my granddad i called him i was like yeah i'm at oasis uh and i explained to him what the gig was what the what the brand it was and he went that's good of a minute i went good of who and he went the gallagher brothers to invite you down i'd let him think that yeah it was actually yeah good guys then the last thing he went do you know how much they get each show i was like no tell me about three million each he went you could do that and i went can i he's at the whiplier he went you could do that and he went tell him like i could just call liam he goes tell him you'll go up there and you'll do it for one million i went yeah all right what so that the audience would be like well jack's doing it but the ticket price had gone down so it's close enough have the world away does he think you can sing he thinks he's from an era where like entertainers or like famous people yeah because he thinks i'm super famous right yeah so it uh entertainers were like these all singing all dance they did it all late night tv stars so he thinks you're like that i'm i'm funny so i can sing and yeah yeah yeah you can to be fair great pool no i sung that one you did do one

56:58right john another one yeah we've got time for a couple more ain't we um is it weird um to google yourself how often do you google yourself i have done i've googled myself i don't know i know the last time I did it actually only about two weeks ago okay because you know when I went into my dentist appointment where they told me I got little teeth um as we were leaving they needed to book me back in for my mouth guard appointment and I was just talking to Ariane but like they could hear us but she was going can you book in on this day and I went oh I can't that's we're DJing at Kendall I just said it like casually and then Ariane just went he's not a DJ like that because she didn't want them to think I'm a DJ so I just went oh no I'm not and then I had to kind of explain why i was doing it and then but there was a young boy there who was going oh you're famous are you doing and i was going like tell me the podcast but then he got told off by one of the other women working there going get off your phone stop doing it yeah so as i left i saw him leaning over at my name in the thing so as i left i searched steven white podcast because he would have seen my name as steven just to see if i'd come up but i don't oh good because nothing comes up a steven yeah so i didn't actually google myself but i googled myself i've googled myself yeah i ask i ask ai about myself anything good what are you trying to find out i i asked that the other day am i good at poker why would ai know i just want to see what it said and it said yes he is really good he played in the world series this year but i think ai is designed to be nice to you yeah i'm pretty sure i don't think you ever they're on the fence and they'll never give you anything truly negative.

58:33Shall I just do it one more time and ask AI about us three and see what it says? You can if you want. I think it'll be interesting. Yeah? Yeah. I think it'll like you. You reckon? What are you going to say? Do you like us? No, I'm going to say, can you tell me a little bit about this person? Yeah? Got in the newspaper in Lithuania the other day and they called me Ralphie. I saw that. I saw that. I love that. It's really good. And then another article posted Ellis Patton and his two friends and it was us three holding the banner and I was cut out. You just see my hand. Oh, like Mike Wazowski. And the other two, yeah.

59:03That's Stephen Merchant. That's so, or Mike Wazowski. Right. What? You just said that. Oh, did you say that? Oh, sorry, mate. I didn't say. Sorry, I blank it out sometimes. Can you tell me a little about, fuck it, I'm sorry, mate. Can you tell me a little bit about Stevie White? Sure thing. Stevie White is a name that could refer to various people. So, to give you the right info. Generic name. Stevie White is from Norwich. Can you tell me a little bit about him, please, boss? Got it. I can look up more details for you if you'd like. Could you let me know what kind of information you're looking for about Stevie White?

59:44Just tell me about Stevie White. He's an online content creator. Just tell me as much or as little as you can about him, please. Don't get nasty.

1:00:00Yeah, this is good podcasting. It's taking a while. You stop using AI, mate. Shut up. When I used Siri for years, everyone was fine with it. Now I've just swapped apps. Tell me a little bit about Alfie Indra, the musician.

1:00:18I'm unable to provide personal information about private individuals. Do you have any other type of question? No! It's a shit talk. It's a shit. Just tell me a little bit about Alfie Indra, the musician. Nothing personal. I just want a generic bio about him. Who is he? What does he do? Alfie Indra is a musician known for his work in the music industry. He often creates and performs music across various genres. Musicians like Alfie typically engage in composing, recording and performing their music. Very rarely. Often collaborating with other artists and contributing to the music scene. If you're interested in a specific aspect of his work, let me know.

1:00:54That is shit. what about jack mate who's he jack mate could refer to different people depending on the fuck this guy's a shit you're a cunt don't be not though because it can hear you i'm here to help right that was shit right um that'll be a post um is it okay to tell someone if they've gained wait

1:01:22I think so if you do it right how do you do it right do it to me Alf hey mate you alright I just want to say like probably bad timing because I know you've got your wedding coming up it's really poor timing what's up man what's up do you think you're going to fit into the suit what do you mean sorry what do you mean You're looking, yeah, but... He's had his suit measured. How long ago did you have the suit measured? Because I think... Last week? Okay, you might be all right. Were you shocked by the numbers they gave you or... Not at all. No. Quite cheap for a suit, wasn't it? Just saying. But...

1:02:01What was that? He said he was shocked by the numbers. I made a joke about it being a cheap suit. I just joke because I'm quite confused about what he was trying to say. You're looking a bit... What? ...bulkier than normal at the moment. Been gymming, yeah. Yeah. Is that what you mean? Like bulking though, rather than... No? ...cutting. No? What are you trying to say? look fat. Wow. I wish one of you told me I was getting fat earlier. I didn't realise because you did it gradually. I thought we made loads of jokes. No, no. Specifically, didn't start making the jokes until I started losing the weight.

1:02:33Oh, right. Because then you felt like you could. So you know it was a problem. Yeah. Fat? Fuck. Yeah. That's what I mean. If you said it whilst I was getting fat, I'd go, fuck it, I'll do something about it sooner. It's like me when I was at my fattest though. No, I got really fat as well and no one said anything. No, you just forget it. Yeah. you forget you sort of just forget and you just notice that when you're not with them you go they're fat now aren't they no one ever said but it's because we all see you enough I think it's when you see someone after a while and go yeah wasn't expecting that but I guess it depends as long as they're still healthy and alright and happy I was bulking you knew I was bulking Jesus that boy bulk yeah see that's different for you because you get fat for a reason I know you're going to get fat and then that fat is going to tend to rock hard muscle we got fat for sadness yeah okay I don't think it's okay I think just leave it up to them unless it's like if someone's getting if I had a kid and I thought the kid was getting so unhealthy I might try and be like it depends obviously not a young kid but if the kid was like I don't know 16 and I thought they're getting actually really unhealthy I might say something but not to just would you gently say like go do you want to go for a run yeah i'd just be like insinuate yeah yeah probably do it that way yeah i'll tell you put the cake down yeah i'll tell you something that irks me where i would have to say something yeah i hate it when people complain about something whilst doing the thing that causes it right like if someone if a friend of mine was constantly complaining about gaining weight and getting fat but then you're watching them eat shit yeah i'll be like what would you you say you can't complain whilst i'd say that you can't complain whilst doing it like you're the only person who can change it yeah like if i was eating a domino's and going fuck i'm fat yeah that's why yeah but but that works for anything like if someone complains about something whilst doing the exact thing that goes against it that really annoys people know if they're putting on weight though don't they don't need to tell i didn't notice how bad i was getting though no but you would know i would look you would you would know like you would know i don't think you to say anything but you see it gradually as well you you like to yourself you see yourself getting bigger gradually that's what i mean so why do you need to tell him but i actually don't think i do sometimes i think like oh yeah i'm in the right shape and then like i'll go through like a bad couple of months and i'll go fuck i'm fat again but i genuinely i'm like that i know what you mean i've taken like gym progress pictures that i look back on now and i'll either be like fuck i'm really too thin or like oh i wasn't in good shape at all but at the time of taking that photo I thought it looked brilliant.

1:05:09It's all up here though, isn't it? What is that? That's weird though, isn't it? Is that a bit of body dysmorphia? Body dysmorphia, man. Yeah. It's weird, isn't it? Why do we... We should all just not really care. That's what I'm trying to be like now. Yeah. It's hard not to though, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, that's sad. Right. Don't tell people that, though, I think. That's what I might think. Yeah, I don't think you can. I don't know what the right way to do it would be. No. The final one of the day. Here we go. is it weird to drink a cup of tea outside oh not at a cafe not a cafe like imagine you get your mug yeah and then you just sort of like you're just strolling to the shops you got your mug you got your tea in there because you can have a bottle of water you can put the lid on yeah i do this i've literally just realized as you said it is it coffee like a prop yeah okay but like a hot drink in a mug outside is what you're saying, isn't it?

1:06:02Oh, right. So I've taken a flask of tea to the gym. Again, fine. For the gym? Yeah, on my walk. Really? You're drinking tea before a workout? I'll quite often have a coffee in the gym in my flask. Cold coffee? Nah, hot. That's bizarre. That's really strange. Yeah. Now I'm saying it. It's fucking weird. That is strange. And I will never do it again. That's the weirdest thing we've gone through in the whole list. It's because I say it's like before I work, I'll go really early and I'm knackered. I haven't had anything to eat. So I'm like, I need something, but I don't have time. So I'm on the go and I'm just sipping this hot, I'm like benching and then sipping hot coffee.

1:06:44That is the weirdest thing anyone's said in the whole episode. And Stevie said he found Maggie Simpson. No, I didn't say that. We had to cut it out. No, you didn't cut it out. You kept it in. It was you asking your shitty AI, mate. It doesn't work. There we go. this has been Jackmates Happy Hour Podcast with me Jackmates Stevie White and Alfie Indra with the odd cameo from our Eastern European driller next door we will see you he's English wasn't he he loves Christmas he does yeah because he's English we'll see you yeah only the English like Christmas that's weird we'll see you in a few days stop drinking coffee on the bench press yeah stop drinking hot drinks in the gym that's weird yeah stop using AI doesn't work yeah the listeners don't like it they hate it yeah it's not pleasurable They're not pleasurable for the co-host.

1:07:29Yeah, it wasn't good for us either. Just talk to us. They literally hate everybody. No, but just talk to us. Stop doing stuff. We're here. Stop being annoying. You made me feel bad.

1:07:47We'll be right back.

1:08:06is dressed to be devoured. You know what to do. Order on the Sweet Green app. What in the night? It's just you and me, boy. Two soldiers bonded for life. Made it! Made it! 58 miles. No one's coming for us. Come on, cheers! When anyone else would quit, they'll do the impossible and get home. Part of the beast is an uplifting triumph. Be the greatest dog ever Bread I'll get you home Heart of the Beast Now playing PG-13 May be inappropriate For children under 13