598 - MATT BRAGG - Alan Sugar’s Awful Gift, John Bishop Beef, & The Superyacht Stunt That Got Him Fired!

27:07There was a few of us. We travelled up to Liverpool and we got an Airbnb because unlike a hotel, we wanted to all sort of stay in the same place together. And it was pretty good, to be fair. Fee had somewhere to do her makeup. We had a kitchen. We had a massive sofa. It was a good weekend, but it was a bit strange because I didn't really know Alfie that well. But we got close on that week. And he got an invite and I didn't. Must have been lost in the post. Well, then I hope I get an invite to the next one. Where are we going? Yeah, that's already booked. Me and Alfie and a few other friends are going to Brighton for the weekend.

27:40Again, Airbnb. Can't wait. This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? sunscreen snacks a stapler the new paypal app is like that but for your money shop pay manage your account and earn rewards all in one place and with purchase protection on eligible items biometric security and pass keys you're protected at every step download the new paypal app to get started see paypal.com protection terms sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands for the super athletic stuff like running gear for cruising up the trail. Woo. And the super athlete ish stuff like fishing gear for chilling by the creek.

28:26Nice cast. Fitness apparel to push for higher reps. You got this. And golf balls priced so you can afford to lose one or a few. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all from athletic to athletic. Sierra's got it. Finally, what's your go to party trick, Matt? I don't have a party trick no? no I got asked this after I did a gig and they had like the sort of social media things going on afterwards and they interviewed me and they did the same what's your party trick? I was like that I just made 400 people laugh is that not enough? you're more impressed if I'm double jointed that's all that's not enough That's what mine is, being able to do that.

29:17Yeah. That's fucked. That's rank, isn't it? But also, with stuff like that, it's the same with the... You know, like the curly... When you say you've got a party trick, so many people do that and go... Yeah. Who's pulling that out at a party? Check this out. It's the shits party, isn't it? I squelch my eye sometimes as well. Oh, fuck. You do it all. Go on, do it. It's weird. It's gross, isn't it? It sounds like it's coming from somewhere else. That's what I'm throwing my voice, but with my eye squelch. What is it? Well, weirdly. It's so weird, isn't it? It's such a funny knowledge. Weirdly, I used to work in an optician's, and I went up to one of the optometrists and said, like, why is my eye doing that?

30:00And she just went, just don't put your finger in it. That is such good advice. All the knowledge, that's all I know about it. So you never found out what it is? No, it's got watery eyes, I guess. So you've got watery eyes, I've got Morton's toe. I reckon we're allowed to park close to the supermarket. Yeah. I reckon so what do I get out and they go what are you doing now and I just go like that and I'm going big toe Matt you're from Banbury you're a massive Banbury fan as well yeah I really like that by the way not to sound patronising but I don't think enough people support their like and Banbury are like small team aren't they bit of a dig there wasn't it but I'm talking like non-league non-league aren't they well they're non-league what's the value for two non-leagues what league are they in then the Southern League Premier Central which is too regional I'll be honest we were in National League North came down we're on the way back up again yeah it's looking good what's the capacity of the ground I reckon it's about maybe like two and a half thousand something like that is it I mean it's not two and a half thousand seats right but you can get standard you can squeeze people yeah oh in fact yeah I got you a gift Oh, we're on a little run of guests getting us gifts at the moment.

31:17You are going to have to share it because they're 15 quid each.

31:23Maybe, like, Jack, you can have it sort of Thursday to Sunday. There you go. Oh, thank you, mate. Very welcome. Oh, quality. We can wear that together anyway. I think we're going to put it up in here. Yeah. I think what we'll do, we'll start to build this set by gifts and then that'll encourage guests to get us. Yeah, we're going to put this up. Yeah, get it out. Yeah. Who got you then?

31:52It'd be good if we remembered a gift from guests, wouldn't it? You got them then. Jack brought them from Canada. Oh, fine. That better still be up next time. Next time we'll see an episode of this. If you come on again, that'll be up. That wasn't what I said. We can't cover the happy hour logo, But we can put it back here. Yeah, we can. We can put it up on there. That'll be up on there. Just out of frame. That'll be up on there forever.

32:20Put it on the front. Put it on the front of the desk. Oh, yeah, we could. Yeah. Don't be making agreements that we can't. At least it's got yellow in it as well. Yeah, true. True. Looks a little bit like a Man United scarf. No, no, it doesn't. And no, it's not yellow. It is gold. Oh, sorry. It is red and gold. Although, admittedly, it has somewhat veered into yellow over recent years. what's the greatest memory you have of watching Banbury

32:47there's been there's been some good ones FA Cup first round we got there a couple of times we won the league absolutely pissed the league one season that was brilliant that was Andy Winger was manager then he's at Barrow now not going to pretend to get him on but it's yeah the whole I think I just love it as a whole yeah it really anchors my week have you always supported them since you were a kid or did you get into them yeah sort of on and off yeah as a kid well did you have a Premier League team as well yeah who was that Liverpool Newcastle fan Newcastle I mean I still am to a certain degree right but like there was a group of us who would go from Bambury would go to games and right and it was just like I remember I think the last home game I went to was the season that Leicester won the league.

33:40Oh, wow. And we got beat 3-0. And I just remember Coluccini, who was captain at the time, just walking off, just looking totally not bothered. And I was just stood there like, today's cost me 400 quid. Yeah. And then I was just like, I can't do this. Yeah. And the whole Mike Ashley thing that was going on, I didn't like. Yeah. What's that like with Banbury players then? Do you feel like they care more because there's less money in it? You're more famous than the players, aren't you? So that must be true. Well, I mean, in a certain postcode, I suppose. But, yeah, I mean, I think the thing is with non-league football now as well, it's so much better than it was.

34:19Yeah. Because you've got so many of these academies that get kids in at like 12 and then give them everything they need to be brilliant footballers. And then it sort of funnels up to that point where only so many people can make it. And the rest just sort of get cut off. but the margins are so fine. There's been lads who play for us who go on and play in the Football League so the standard's really good and I think increasingly you'll see more and more guys who dropped out of the Football League to come and play at non-league teams and then you'll have heard of them. You said that Banbury has got to the first round of the FA Cup a few times.

34:57Have they ever played anyone? Who's the best team you've ever seen Banbury play? I'll tell you what. Spalding were decent on Saturday. What was the score? We beat them 4-1. I couldn't believe it. Spalding. I was at a wedding, and it's such a mental illness, this. And I had Pure Runds Radio on, because they do coverage of every game. And I was at a wedding, and was just sat there, just with an ear pod in, just listening to the entire game. That's some commitment. I can't get enough of it. I think you're the same as me, though, because you like the game. And then everything else around it, the podcast, watching the highlights.

35:39There's so little of that, though, with non-league. Really got to seek it out, like go on Twitter and look at what people are saying, which is such a shame. There's like four people tweeting or something. Yeah, you sort of wait for the big things to blow up. I mean, our manager last season left to go to Kettering, who are also in our league. That's like a big... Yeah, A-casters team. Yeah. good luck to them all I'll say is that Banbury's loss is also Kettering's loss what's away from the football what's Banbury like as a place Stevie and I have never been and we usually ask our guests if they're from somewhere a bit different or somewhere unique we've never been before to design us a day a day in your place what would we do if we came to Banbury so you come to Banbury yep you get in the train football ground's right next to the train station okay so we're coming on match day Come for the match, come on a Saturday.

36:34Yeah. How much? What's general admission? 13 quid. Okay. Priceier than I'd like, Matt. You've not seen the football. Worth it. All right. I'll sort you out as well, get you in the sponsors lounge. Okay. Yeah. Perfect. Watch the game. Leave the ground. Back to the station.

36:58It's all right. What's the best pub in Bambury? There's a few. I mean there's a street called Parson Street Right There's a couple of really old pubs on there Like the old auctioneer and the reindeer Which is like It goes back centuries There's some nice pubs Yeah Nightclubs? Yeah there's a couple of like Getting Fever 80s club Okay Yeah There is a strip club What's that called? Mirage Okay cool Any good? I couldn't possibly comment I like that that fever is specifically 80s it feels like you're really targeting a specific audience there it's like we had Chicago's didn't we yeah but we also had loads of other clubs whereas if you've only got one or two clubs in the whole place you probably want to yeah open it up to a wider audience well I mean it is it's part of a complex Stevie there's an 80s club on the ground floor over 21's club above it and then there's another like a normal nightclub next door.

38:01So there's three. I think there's three. They're all called Fever. No, 80s clubs Fever. I don't know what the other two are called now. It was Moo Moo's for ages. Moo Moo's. Brilliant. That's a chain, isn't it? Never heard of it. Not heard of it. No. Never heard of it. It's a weird nightclub name. You're not the only famous person from Banbury, are you? Oh, God. I can hear the Banbury tourist board from here. I was researching this yesterday. So you've got Jo Joiner. You familiar with Jo Joiner? Yeah, she's famous for turning the Christmas lights on every year. Really? And do you know who she is?

38:35Yeah, is it EastEnders? EastEnders? Have you been asked to turn on Christmas lights? No, but this could be a turning point.

38:46If you're listening. We're giving a lot of kind of press to Bamboo right now, aren't we? When we had Josh Pugh on a year and a bit ago, I think we were saying a similar thing about him turning the Christmas lights on. It was the ball game, wasn't it? He said he really wanted to be the one to release the ball at the start. Oh, yeah. And I don't... He did it, didn't he? Oh, it did happen. So this is it. This is our chance. And let's pretend in our head that was us. That's not the fact that he's gone from strength to strength stand-up. That was literally us. So you've got Joe Joyner. Then you've got Mansell Sandsbury.

39:19Do you know who that is? No. Have a guess. Mansell Sandsbury. It's a great name. It's a really good name. Yeah. Something to do with F1, maybe? He was a highwayman involved in stagecoach robbery. Sort of, then. Yeah. So a bit of a wrong-un. Then a little bit of a theme here, Benjamin Gein. No. Do you not know Benjamin Gein? No, I don't know Benjamin Gein. This was high up on the wiki of Banbury. Was it? Yeah. A repeat murderer who poisoned 17 patients for the thrill of trying to resurrect them. It's not great, is it? It's not great. At least we were trying to bring him back. It would be worse if he was just a serial killer.

40:01We've spoken really highly of Banbury at the start, and he's trying to get this Christmas light switch on, and then you're just bringing up murderers from there. Yeah, but I'm trying to help. I'm going, look at what you've got. Yeah, we've got Rehabilitate. Yeah, Matt's not killed anyone. Yeah. Have you? No. I've brought them back. And then, so we've got Mantle, Sainsbury, we've got Benjamin Gein, then does not get any better. Gary Glitter. Yeah. Yeah, he went to my school. Did he really? Different year. But he did go to my school, yeah. For any youngsters... When he went to the school, was he of age?

40:41I just saw him in a hedge. For anyone who doesn't know Gary Glitter, he's a glam rock singer, well, ex-glam rock singer, and convicted child sex offender. So not going great. Do you know what's really annoying as well is that I'm not on that Wikipedia, am I? I thought you're not. I don't think so. I certainly, I wasn't last time I Googled myself. I just had to look at the scar to work out how this will banbury. That's quite a self-explanatory worry about you. Yeah, I was embarrassed when I just caught myself doing that. Notable people. No, you're not. You're not, mate. You're fucking not. of all that, isn't it?

41:20Like, I know I've not done live at the Apollo or anything, but I've also not been convicted for sex crimes in Cambodia. Surely. Yeah, yeah. Gary's got loads on there. Yeah, he has. He has got fucking loads on there. He's even got a photo. 81 now. What photo do they go for? Big old quiff. 1974. They've been kind to him there. They have. they have now Matt you're a stand-up comedian great stand-up comedian thanks mate been doing it for 8 years? 9 years? yeah 9-10 years 10 years 10 years probably now update your website then please no what did you do before you were a comedian? I was a cameraman from when I left school I really wanted to be a cameraman right what was it about being a cameraman was it the travelling you wanted to explore or the filmmaking aspect of it i think yeah i wanted to i enjoyed making stuff so i just i wanted to do live stuff particularly so i left to go and do that and then started doing like like corporate stuff right graduation i did a lot of graduations right a lot so if you graduated from a select few universities over like between maybe, I don't know, 2016 and 2022.

42:46I was probably there. Was it you? No, I was 2015, Bristol, UE. I never did Bristol. But I did Liverpool, John Moores. I think I did UEA. Some listeners here might have had you there. I did loads, Newcastle, honestly loads of them. Right. And it was so funny. because sometimes you do have days where you're doing like four or five a day sometimes and it's just the same thing you're just following people crossing a stage yeah and uh whenever it was like a media degree i used to love it because like in the break i'd be like i'd done like three graduations i look like shit just haggard just sat there like that yeah you see all these media students who are all talking like yeah i'm gonna write this short and then we're gonna enter into this competition and I'm hoping that maybe we'd get a feature out of it.

43:37And I just sat there like, no, you won't. We'll be doing this. It's like the ghost of Christmas future. But you did film some mad stuff though. What was it with the super yachts? Yeah, I worked for a company doing promo videos for super yachts. Right. Yeah, I would never have thought that was a job. How did you get that? I just saw an advert for it, and I went and met the guys who ran the company. They're great, still are great guys. They're really fun. A pair of New Zealanders. I met them in London, and we just got on. And I was like, yeah, I'm in. Sounds fun. But it was never... It's basically the up and short of it.

44:21The upshot of it. Yeah. Is that, you know, billionaires have yachts. Yeah. They're not on them all the time. Right. So they'll charter them out. so there's like promo pictures and videos to go on the website so people to charter the yacht right so you go out and film a yacht and show all the inside and you know you get in a helicopter you do the aerials and all that sort of stuff but it was just it was never it never was right for me like i never fit in with any of it because it was just like always like beautiful people on yachts and i was i hate hot weather yeah same i was carrying loads of gear around so you've got amazing models beautiful all in white and then there was just me next to all of it just like sweaty pale like in a shed seven t-shirt i remember we did um we did a big yacht festival once or super yacht festival i think it was in monaco yeah monaco club nice yeah and there's a big party and this rooftop bar is like a swimming pool there there's like burlesque dancers loads of like millionaires billionaires floating about yeah and me and my mate were like we we'd sort of been mind sweeping the tables fuck i forgot about mind sweeping what a throwback is that what what i think it is yeah yeah yeah but we're like well expensive wine right yeah for anyone who's not familiar with the term mind sweeping it's just going around and there's like a half empty beer there and you just take that yeah yeah yeah it's exactly that yeah so we thought well everyone else is like they're all chatting and networking and stuff we've got nothing really in common with anybody.

45:54So we just did that. And then there was this pool right in the middle of it. It was all lit up and stuff. And we were both like, shall we just jump in the pool? While you're working? No, we sort of, the day was the shoot. Okay, yeah, yeah. For the evening it was just, oh, do you want to come to this thing? Yeah. Just have a couple of drinks and meet people. So we're like, oh yeah, we could just, should we just jump in the pool? So we decided, like fully clothed, we're like, let's just bomb in the pool. Because we've seen enough music videos. I know that if you bomb in a pool or something like that, it's all in slow motion, everybody loves it, and then everyone jumps in.

46:30Everyone jumps in, yeah. High five in. Anyway, we bombed in. Water went everywhere. All over all these rich, beautiful people. Like drenched everybody. No one else jumped in. So we were just in our clothes in the middle of this pool. And we just had to sort of wade over to where the ladder was. Got out. And the manager of the yacht club was just like, you know that you have to leave now. And we were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. So we went to go inside to walk out. No, no, no, you can't go inside because you're drenched. We're like, yeah, no, fair enough. So we had to go out the back stairs and they were like, just call a taxi for yourselves when you get outside.

47:13And then I suddenly thought, I can't. So I had my phone in my pocket. Oh, no. So I was just like, I can't call a taxi. so you're going to have to do that. And then we just walked out and left and I was like, it's such a disappointing... Just thinking in your head, that would be amazing. That's the start of the teen movie, isn't it? That's not the end. Yeah. And we jumped in and we high-fived. Yeah. Just looked around and we're like... So the yacht's moored up, is it? Is that what you call a yacht? Loads of them, yeah. But you're not out at... I thought you were going to be out at sea doing this.

47:48No, no, no. So this was at the Yacht Club, which is where the party was. Right, right. Generally speaking, yeah, you'd film a yacht. So you actually got to get involved in some of the parties then? It weren't just all work? Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah. Did you ever watch Below Decks? No, I've never seen it. It's a lot like, it's not a million miles off. Right. Like the yacht crews were lunatics because you get paid a load of money, it's all tax-free and stuff. Is it? Yeah. What, the money that you earned was tax-free? No, not me, I was heavily taxed. It was barely worth doing to go in. So why is their job different to yours?

48:27Were you not doing the same stuff? No, because they were, I don't know the ins and outs of it, but they're employed by the owner and they're at sea, so it's like international wars. Oh, wow, yeah. I've heard of that before. They would just come off and just go to these bars and just spend thousands, like massive bottles of champagne. Yeah. In fact, that was one place I got really bad food poisoning. The first job I was ever supposed to do with them, I got to the airport and realised I'd forgotten my passport. Good. Didn't go on that job. Yeah. The second job, we had this really fancy meal with everyone and I ate a bad shellfish.

49:05Ooh. And it nearly killed me. Did it? It was awful. I was just in a hotel room. By the end of it, I was surrounded. Well, I'm not exaggerating this. You could only get glass bottles of water. so I kept calling down to room service because I was so dehydrated. It was about 45 bottles of water just all over the room. Fuck. And I kept being on the phone being like, here's another one please. And I'd go up the door and the guy would just hand it over and I'd just get it and then get back into bed. Fuck. It was, yeah. This is why I don't do shellfish. Can't do fish. That's not the glitz and glamour for super yachts, is it that?

49:38No, it was, I was just sat in the shower. Just, it was awful. Did you ever go on a famous person's yacht? I went on a, yeah, Yeah, we did, I think Tommy Hilfiger's one. Oh, fuck. Did Alan Sugar's yacht, which was, that was really cool. It's a really cool yacht. And I was so excited at one point because we were sort of going around doing the interiors and all that. Yeah. And one of the crew came up and said, Lord Sugar really appreciates what you're doing. And there, he's got you a gift. And I was like, here we go. Again, looked so out of place. I remember it clearly because I had a Stone Roses T-shirt on it.

50:14some cargoed, like shorts. That's just a Tottenham scarf. And I was like, oh, brilliant. And they were like, yeah, come up to the bridge and get it. So I was thinking maybe like a watch or... And they handed it over and it was a pen, but not like an expensive fountain pen, like a plastic pen that just had Alan Sugar. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I'm on his yacht and that's the best. And I pushed the top of it. and when you push the pen in it it'll just go this is Lord Sugar fuck off you might be hired you might be fired no way that was it you just do that that's the best thing I've ever heard yeah but it's run out of battery now do you still own it?

50:56I've still got it yeah it's worthless I thought there was a chance you were going to say it's him in a suit when you turn it upside down that would have been great that never runs out of battery you can do that what was it what was I I know Alan Sugar's massive, but I just for some reason didn't imagine him. I can't imagine him on a yacht. I just don't know. I don't know why that is, but I wouldn't place him. I would put like Dan Bilzerian on a yacht. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but I think he's not jumping in a pool, is he? But he can still enjoy the high life of a yacht. Yeah, yeah. I think a lot of the people that you think would be on a yacht, they normally pay to charter the yachts off of, you know, the real big money.

51:39Right, right. Maybe, yeah. I don't know if I'd like, I'm trying to think now if I'd like a yacht. What do you mean? I reckon, yeah. Would you like this super yacht that can just take you anywhere you want with a pool and a bar and a... You're right, mate. I've got a weird toe, I can't. Why would you not want a yacht? I just don't know if I'd go, like, the idea of a cruise, I think, is fucking boring. Agreed. So a yacht is just going to be like your cruise whenever you want. you sort of yeah like what's it what's it bringing what is a yacht bringing you apart from you can do you can party so house parties can be fun with the right people it's just doing that but in the middle of the sea I feel seasick I can't get a deliveroo yeah but you don't need a deliveroo because you've got like 18 crew there there's a chef there's a masseuse anything you want at any time of day they'll make it happen yeah now you're selling it to me the idea of a super yacht before was disgusting yeah yeah I'm glad I've got you on board with it, yeah.

52:39So how do you go from being a cameraman to where you are now, stand-up comedy? Well, I just started to, I mean, what I always wanted to do was like live stuff, like music. And I remember going to see Paul Weller at Birmingham Arena and I saw the camera guys in the pit, you know, doing the big screen stuff. I was like, I want to do that. And so I remember emailing the arena because I thought they were employed by... Is that NEC, is that what it's called? Yeah, NIA. The one in the centre, yeah. Okay, right. And they came back and were like, oh no, it's nothing to do with us. It's like, it's touring crew.

53:12And I was like, oh, right, okay. And then I found out I had a friend who worked in it. And I was like, oh, any chance you could get us in? So I ended up doing that and doing like arena tours and festivals. Like Leeds Festival, I did that every year on the main stage. Oh, did you? Yeah. You were the one of the ones at the front? Yeah, just on a pit camera. Oh, okay. And I just thought, yeah, I wanted to, I just wanted to be a roadie, basically. Yeah. I loved it. Yeah. and so I just did that for ages and then it was yeah I was sort of doing a bit of stand-up on the side and then it kind of just came to a critical mass where I was like you've got to do one or the other right because I like just before COVID I was booked to do Dua Lipa world tour like on a pit camera and I thought well I could just do that one last tour bank the money yeah and then I'll just do stand-up right and then COVID cancelled it and then by the time it came back round I'd sort of gone too far in stand-up then to go back right i couldn't take six months out to go on the road with you a leaper such a weird sentence isn't it because i've got to go to norwich use any other city as the example what what made you do stand-up for the first time uh i think my dad was a comedian so it was always like ingrained but i just loved everything about I loved watching him.

54:32I loved hanging out with comedians. I wouldn't say much, but we'd have people come around the house. And I'd go to the studios with Dad, because he was a warm-up man, mostly. So all the sitcoms in maybe the late 80s to 2010. Fairly famous, though. He's the most non-famous person in the business. Everyone who was in TV would go, oh, yeah, Bobby, I know him. but outside of that it was a real sort of niche right so what he warmed up the crowds for the tv show yeah so only falls and horses and everything he'd go out ahead of time do like 10 minutes and then he'd only like recording breaks or like he did when friends came to london he was a studio warm-up on that oh wow which was like long days as well so he so you grew up in a household that that had a lot of comedians coming and going and yeah you grew up in them circles and stuff like that yeah yeah so but then you said you wouldn't say much so were you quite a quiet kid then super quiet yeah see see i don't know what the question what question i've got here but i find that fascinating that you've now become a fully fledged stand-up because like especially when like when we started doing the pod we meet comedians and i've always idolized comedians they've always been like up there with footballers for me and then like when so then sometimes i can go in my shell a little bit when i'm around a comedian so how do you then you're around them your whole life you're you're shy so they're obviously the funny ones in the room yeah so where do you then get the confidence to do it yourself if you know what i mean this episode is brought to you by paypal you know how a mom's bag has everything sunscreen snacks a stapler the new paypal app is like that but for your money shop pay manage your account and earn rewards all in one place and with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security, and pass keys, you're protected at every step.

56:28Download the new PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com slash protection terms. Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands for the super athletic stuff, like running gear for cruising up the trail. Woo! And the super athletic ish stuff, like fishing gear for chilling by the creek. Nice cast. Fitness apparel to push for higher reps. You got this! and golf balls priced so you can afford to lose one. Or a few. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. This episode is brought to you by Palmolive.

57:06Family time isn't just the big moments. It's weeknight dinners. Sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra. Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9 % of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com. I don't, honestly, I don't know. I mean, weirdly, my mum was talking to someone a few weeks ago, and whoever it was knew us years ago, and she was like, God, I wouldn't have thought Matt would be the one, you know, on stage.

57:47Right. because it was never, but my mum was like, yeah, but he was always, because I was always watching, watch everything, figure out what's going on. And I think that's what you need more than kind of the outward, outgoing person. I think you need to be able to watch, see what people are doing. So you understand the science of the art a bit more, do you, would you say? I mean, maybe deep down somewhere. But also when you're just, I probably still, when I was growing up, I wouldn't have said much, but when you've got comedians in the room or you're at the studios, you're around comedy all the time.

58:19It just sort of feeds in, even subconsciously. And then when I decided that that's what I want to do, it was like you've got a massive head start because I already know how to phrase something to make it funnier because it just comes out like that because I've been around it so much. Right. But the only downside is my dad worked so hard and was like a big name in the industry, but just never enough for any sort of nepotism to trickle down, which really annoys me. he did so much and I've seen nothing you see some of these people in the industry they're getting somewhere their dad was a producer on oh great my dad was the voice of Supermarket Sweep that's massive that is massive did you watch Supermarket Sweep?

59:10that was my dad talking about big bouncy burger bonuses and stuff I paid for our Christmas that reason i think it's what it is is what i was trying to sort of say is because if you're around comedians and and you sort of idolize them or whatever and they are being funny that just makes you realize how far off it you are does that make sense yeah like so it's like to have the what what was the moment when you not when you realize you wanted to do it but what was the moment when you started to do it when you actually went right i'm gonna book a gig and i'm gonna do it was that a big thing for you or did it just happen naturally i can't it didn't feel like a big thing right i've always sort of had it in my head and i don't know when it started or yeah but i've it's always been well that's that's gonna be that's what i'll do and it's there's never been a single point even in the early days like driving but i looked at my old accounts the other day yeah and i did like 2 700 miles in a month and got 25 quid total but there was never a point where i was like gonna give up i was like no this is just this is it now it's just in there i was like that's gonna be and then it was like it was only when we we lost my dad about i think nine ten years ago now right but that was really the moment where i was like oh no i want to i want to i definitely want to just knuckle down and just do this now and get it done yeah and i think part of it is because it was like I don't want to stop hanging out with comedians and being around comedy and all that yeah and if he's not there then that's the link gone right so I need to now get stuck in if I want to keep that up do you do you love comedy just as much now you're you're in it like you're in it big time than you did before you was yeah totally yeah yeah yeah yeah would you go home and put on a stand-up comedy show um but it was more sitcom for me obviously because of what dad did I I just loved sitcom.

1:01:05Yeah. But then there was certain comedians who I'd watch all the time. And like, you know, like, I mean, Kevin Bridges and stuff would put that on all the time. Jim Jefferies was me and one mate who would just go around each other's house every weekend and watch it. Yeah. Peter Kay. Yeah. That thing. So yeah, I probably love it now more than I ever have because I've got more of a respect and, you know, understanding of how it works. What's your, we ask pretty much all the comedians we have on air and we're so lucky to have had so many great ones but everyone has a kind of different way of writing what's your way of doing it do you pick things up as you live your life do you is it a coffee shop at once a day like how talk us through that i i do go to a cafe and write but it tends to be like you know matt richardson yeah yeah it tends to be with him and i like his mind is insane so like sitting and having a coffee with him it's just like everything all over like you can't actually work per se but it's really great to just go and just chat it's like him like andrew bird steve hall and alexis too but like really good people yeah so that sort of that helps kind of generate a little bit of or if you just had a little idea about something just going to that table and just going on what do you reckon about this that's interesting because you and him have such different on-stage personas really don't you yeah yeah and style so yeah we call it in the group we call him captain wank that is i was kind of hoping that would be my sort of thing no no if you want we did a whole tour on sort of wank no we just went to wank mountain yeah we went we went to wank mountain recently it's a place in germany it's just his house he will hate this why captain wank elaborate then he just loves a wank joke oh you could be captain wank then yeah i do a lot of that stuff yeah not in a not in a what does make it sound like you just i do a lot of not in a professional on stage but sat at a table with my mates yeah well we just did a whole one hour 10 minute video of it, we travelled a thousand miles to Wank together.

1:03:13Nice. It's a great title. I think the first three minutes of the video, I mean the joke's pretty dead. How long was it? An hour and ten minutes. Days long. It was a four day drive. We drove there, we didn't fly. When you get there, there's a gift shop, I love Wank, Wank socks. Made it worth it. We should have asked Matt actually, he'd have probably wanted to come. We didn't realise he was Captain Wank at the time. Richardson, yeah. Now you do, yeah, next time. when did um the comedy career sort of take off i don't know if that's a cringy way to phrase it but um or was there a moment you realized actually this is this is pretty big now i think it was i don't know stuff started picking up after covid where i just went i started like opening more gigs because you start off middling gigs and then you'll get asked to open and then eventually close so i went from middling to like opening and then quite like reasonably quickly within like two years started closing a few gigs and and then i think i mean the real turning point like for me in my head was when ricky asked me to do his new material shows right and i was like that's like that was huge yeah for me and it was such a like doing two shows a week for like six months or whatever did was that something you had to audition for or did he just did he just ask you I got no idea exactly how it happened.

1:04:34So you don't even know how he thought, I want this guy? Yeah, no, I think, weirdly, so there was a gig in London, and I was only doing, I mean, the guy's a mate of mine, but I was initially doing it because there was an agent who said, we want to come and see you. So I said, I'm doing this gig, and they're like, great. And then they pulled out of coming to the gig like two days before, and I was like, oh, that's a long way to go for no reason really. It's just a gig. Yeah. So I was going to drop out, and I thought, and I said, I'll do it, I'll go and do it. And I know that JP, who's Ricky's tour manager, had gone to that promoter like a week later.

1:05:09I said, oh, we need someone for this show. Who have you seen that's, like, good? Right. And that's when he said, oh, I had Matt last week. He was really good. And I think a few videos got passed on to Ricky, and he went, oh, yeah, that guy. That's so cool. Yeah, really cool. Because, I mean, it's no secret on this show that Gervais, like, growing up, as he was with most of us, like he's just like comedy hero material really oh totally it's like the amount of affectations you have from him yeah it really comes into like stark reality when you're like you've been in a car before and the tour manager said like did you get a call sheet you did no get a call sheet catch yourself and go didn't i didn't get a call have you ever what were you in a car with him at this at the point it's happened loads of times what does he do is he like he's never mentioned it he's just aware i think i've sort of covered it a few times pretty well but it's because it's so part of your psyche yeah so i'd go to bed listening to like the xfm podcast yeah the office all the time i'd watch your stand-up dvds so it's so like ingrained in you yeah that it's really hard to unpick that he's such a lovely man though isn't he he's a really sweet man yeah such a lovely man because what literally like i can't imagine what it'd be like to work with him and be peers with him because we i i interviewed him probably seven eight years ago now for life on the road for that and um there was just a i've told the story so many times but such a nice way how that came about basically he um i i uh emailed his agent the press the press what was it called the press junket was full and uh ricky literally just stayed behind at the end of the day got a side room in the hotel and let me come in with my own crew and do it and so i i i was aware that when you do these junkets you get like five minutes and i was just like he's my fucking hero like i need this to be good like going over my questions the night before and i walk into the room he comes in and then um i'm like how um we say hello and all that and then I get uh and I ask how long have how long have you got like is it just the five and he was like however long it takes and sat there for half an hour did it and it was just like absolute dream come true and yeah we've been lucky enough to have him on here and obviously because he is a different echelon of comedian and and and sort of just like celebrity really isn't he massive um my friends all back home they all want to know what he's like and I never really know what to say apart from just a normal yeah lovely lovely I don't I don't tire of it either like if anybody because I still can't believe it.

1:07:41And he's like, it's been such a, because it's not, I mean, he's brilliant. Yeah. But it's also, he surrounds himself with great people. So whenever you're doing a show with them or whatever, or you're hanging out, it's always just really nice people. It's really fun. Yeah. And I've met, I mean, like Red Richardson, Josh Pugh, Sean. Yeah. You get closer to these people who are also doing the show and they're all, yeah, they're such a fun group. Josh is absolutely one of my favourite stand-ups. He's amazing. Yeah. Who are your favourites then? Remove bias. Who do you think is some of the best comedians at the moment?

1:08:20At the moment, I mean, Josh is definitely. He always makes me laugh. Red's exactly the same. But all of that Ricky group, genuinely, I find them so funny. But, yeah, I don't watch that much circuit, which sounds weird. Yeah. but I just I don't especially because I've been on tour as well doing my own thing but there's loads of loads of great circuit acts that never like Dave Longley he's a guy who really makes me laugh Dave Longley really funny there's a few Simon Markingak oh I recognise him yeah who's your favourite comedian of all time? I think Sean Locke's probably Frank Skinner, Sean Locke yeah Lee Mack yeah they were all like growing up did you ever meet Sean Luck?

1:09:09no I never met him did you? nah never we always ask comedians about them and they always have everyone's always been positive yeah so many comedians on here have given glowing reviews of him but like it's strange never met him never knew anyone that knew him or anything like that but when he passed away I think like I don't know what it was but well clearly just being a huge comedy fan but that probably hit me more than any other celebrity death like it was just like it was just like he was a staple growing up always always on eight out of ten cats and just i think that's it was such a part of the furniture wasn't that's it that it's yeah that was tough to take yeah for sure um matt we spoke about um you getting into comedy and and your rise and stuff what's the worst gig you think you've ever done and why?

1:09:59Again, this could go on for hours. Is that a good thing? No. There was one on this tour that was ridiculous. And I won't say where it was because they're lovely people. It's like a community-run theatre. In fact, Dave Longley was opening for me that night. But there was, in the dressing room, there's like a separate door and then a toilet. And I was in there. It was about 20 minutes before the show, just having a piss. All the lights went out. everywhere and i was the middle of having a piss i'm just going on sound at this point and then there was a banging at the door and i was like yeah and they carried on banging i was like what they carried on banging so i finished my piss went to the door opened it and this woman who worked there just went there's been a power cut i know yeah i know it's everywhere now so i was like okay well it took me like four hours to get there And I was on my way up to somewhere else that was on the way.

1:11:00But I'm not rearranging this. Just it's got to happen tonight. So I said, just do what you can do. And like if we have to, like they found these little LED lights. And I was like, if I have to do it without a microphone, it's like, it's not huge. It's like 250 people. I can do it. Yeah. So as long as we get it done and we'll have like a sort of blitz spirit, you know, we'll get through it. Yeah. And then they managed to get some of the lights back on. So there was a microphone and a light. I was like, that's enough. It'll be fine. And then they came in about five minutes before the show. And we're going to have to push it back by 10 minutes.

1:11:37Someone in the second row has been sick on someone in the front row. Oh. And it's gone everywhere. Oh. Right, okay. Yeah. It can't get any worse. Yeah. There's barely any light. Someone's been sick on someone else. Yeah. You're covered in piss. I'm covered in piss. So I gave it 10 minutes and I was like, right, ready to go now. And then knocked on the door again and went, you have to push it back by another five minutes. I think someone shit themselves. What? Yeah, yeah. In like third row or something. This is hull. It's not far off. It's not hull. I was just like, this is, I can't believe what's going on here.

1:12:17They sort of cleaned everything up. and then I went out and you'll be amazed how quickly Blitz spirit evaporates when there is the smell of shit and shit and I was just up there it's all I could smell as soon as I walked out I was like yeah this honks in here do you reference it? do you make reference to it? I mean I've probably said something I don't think you could not it was so that was the start of the show it was everywhere so I just sort of got through it and it was only like halfway through I really like I remembered my girlfriend, all her family and her nan and everybody had come to this show.

1:12:53And I was like, oh no. It was just, I got through it. Anyway, that wasn't the worst one.

1:13:03There was once, and I love this gig. It was in, I was really new at the time. I'd driven down to Eastbourne. It was like a three and a half hour drive. Got there. It was open mic, so no money or anything. Just 10 minutes. and it was like a glass fronted bar there's a little stage in it just sort of chairs dotted about it's nothing like official looking and the gig started and the mc uh was at like a top of some stairs that went to like a mezzanine level and he played let me entertain you and he kind of came down from the mezzanine and was like giving it big licks on the way down to like five people and he came introduced the show and he saw by the bar there was this guy who's a homeless man yeah who was just propped at the bar just drinking a can of special brew and he was like he's got to go and everyone was like well he's not doing any harm is he and he was like he's got to get out well i would i mean does he have to like he's just stood there just drinking yeah and anyway he was adamant this guy to go and i was stood at the bar next to this guy right and so the mc slash promoter put the mic back in the stand went over to him and just confronted him and said you've got to get out they end up scrapping so like one of them throws a punch and then the MC there was like a trestle table the MC picked him up and they both went through this trestle table fucking hell WWE like really like that yeah and then he was on top of him beating the shits out of him and I was just stood there like I probably should get involved like you can't just keep hitting a guy who's on the floor so I grabbed him and like pulled him off this guy and everyone else was still just stood there just watching I was like at any point feel free to get involved yeah and I felt like a few more the bar staff came up and like wrestled this guy put him out the door locked the door and then bearing in mind it's a glass fronted building so he's just there he's just outside still there and then the MC went back to the stage he had blood coming out of his eye it was just like everywhere and he just went back to the microphone and went, please welcome your opening act.

1:15:10It's Matt Bragg. And I walked up and was just like, everyone was still shell-shocked. There's like blood on the floor. There's a homeless guy outside who's literally just at the window going. And I was just stood in front of him like, and I just thought, I can't follow this. What did you do? Did you just try and... I did two minutes. I just thought, I can't. There is no point. You're all watching the homeless guy. Yeah. You're not in the frame of mind now. Three and a half hours back to Vanbury. That was the worst part. I put the mic in the stand so I can't follow this. I'm better off just going home.

1:15:40And I went to leave and there was a fucking maniac outside. So I couldn't get out. They'd lock the door and they were like, well, no, you can't leave. Not while he's there. So I was like, okay. So I had to just go and sit down on a chair and watch the rest of the show. I love it. I love it. Well, talking of great shows, your special is out very soon or is just out, depending on when we release this. This is actually out on October the 16th. Yeah. And comedians often do a great job of naming their specials, unique names and witty sort of puns and all this kind of shit. What's your special called, Matt Bragg?

1:16:18It's called Matt Bragg Live. I've dropped the ball on that one. The thing was, the actual title of the tour show was way too wordy. Because the tour was called Matt Bragg Has Nothing Wrong With Him. which at the time was sort of like that's that could still be a special name couldn't it it could it's just a bit long right it's just because i did it it was when i was doing i was going to be going up to edinburgh and at the time just everybody had a everyone's show was about like you know my dead dad my struggle with this my so i thought matt bragg has nothing wrong with him i'm just going to put that and sort of my usp will be i'm just telling joke yeah that's good but then when it came to the special I just thought Matt Bragg live is just way easy I don't know what I'm going to do for the second one Matt Bragg live again live somewhere else resurrected go back to your Banbury guy who killed people that's already yeah I'm sure it is sounds like a Russell Brand special it could be you know it's got to be resurrection comedy is that gonna come up just searching resurrection comedy probably not no it hasn't so uh where can people um where can people see the special youtube and spotify spotify yeah wow i think it's gonna be big right full full visual on there okay well we're spotify exclusive so everyone who's listened to this is no stranger to the spotify app because that's the only place you're listening to it so uh when this episode finishes in about five ten minutes uh type in matt brag life check out the special and there are comments on spotify now guys um there have been for about a year now is it yeah you look nervous about that he's fuming he's absolutely he wanted on spotify because he didn't realize you could get feedback so go over and drop a little comment and say we sent you because this is that this is the deal we make if uh we're able to help comedians get their stuff seen we'll keep getting them on and also give some positive feedback about the show itself rather than just trying to make the comments come in.

1:18:30Just be honest. I think you want honesty, really. Yeah, in a way. I'd rather watch him fight a homeless man. Yeah, punch a camel. Now, Matt, your tweets make me laugh. Yeah, mainly, well, I remember seeing some of your tweets. There's a couple I've got here. They're mainly just Banbury retweets now. Oh, my God. My management, I hate that. All I do on Twitter is just retweet not league stuff. I'd like to do this game from time to time on air. We're going to do one now where I get our guests' old tweets and you have to fill in the blank to see if you can remember what you've said. And literally, I was sat there yesterday watching the Arsenal game just scrolling back through millions of retweets of Banbury.

1:19:18But we did find some gems amongst the roughs. So this is the Matt Bragg tweet game. Yeah. So I've taken your style of pretty shit on the nose. Is that tight? Yeah. So let's see how many of these you get right. I think we've got seven-ish. Yeah, seven-ish. I didn't know I tweeted seven times. You bet. Number one, my morning routine for success. 7.30 a.m., cold shower. 8.00 a.m., protein shake. 8.30 a.m., blank. 9.00 a.m., gym class. What are you doing at 8.30, Matt Bragg? That must be old, because I don't normally get up that early now. I'm not out of bed until like nine. Cold shower, protein shake, blank gym class.

1:20:04I mean, I assume it's taking the piss. Yes. I've got no idea. I honestly don't know what that could be. I've got no recollection of that whatsoever. I don't know. I don't know. Diary of a CEO or something. watching uh i watch videos of jeremy vine trying to get hit by a bus i like that you just made yourself laugh yeah yeah it's all good stuff yeah i like that the other option was diary of a ceo though uh just walked through a harrowing exhibition about holocaust survivors then had the option to oh buy buy a um rubber egg yeah yeah i couldn't but that was genuine i remember that in fact it was when i was supporting lloyd right in salford yeah imperial war museum next door to the lowry yeah and they had this big exhibition on like the faces of the holocaust i walked around it was like it was genuine it was awful harrowing forgot there was just a basket outside of it just selling rubber eggs for a quid like right outside and i was like what is this what they would have wanted that's where there was a rude there's a routine in the show that came out of that about titanic and the titanic museum and how not every museum needs a gift shop yeah right it is yeah it's a bit weird what one of my favorite jokes i've ever heard is is yours and it's um i won't reveal the punchline on there but it's the um world war one hitler was actually a soldier in world war one and your friend said yeah yeah that that's that's really good is that in the special or is that free no no i dropped it out yeah don't you dropped it wow if you're dropping that out it must be good yeah you're dropping gold like yeah fucking hell it is on my instagram though the video that clips on my instagram if that if i wrote that that would be almost that's your peak yeah literally i'm just uploading that jack dean live do you want to hear my joke i write yeah tell every comedian this go on used they say it don't make sense and it's shit but um used to be i used to be addicted to cash now i'm having atm withdrawals thank you next one next one on the sheet it only sort of works one doesn't work really does it used to be addicted to cash yeah I mean the only level it works on is the fact withdrawals is something to do with addiction but you're having ATM withdrawals so I kind of still am addicted yeah thinker maybe it's too maybe you don't get comedy maybe give the Rowan Atkinson one.

1:22:39Right, why did Rowan Atkinson, this is another one of my classics, why did Rowan Atkinson lose the full English breakfast eating competition? Because he missed a bean. There you go. And that's a professional.

1:22:55That actually triggers me a bit at the moment. I've had three comments this week on my Instagram. Three separate people have said, is that Mr. Bean's brother? What? I know. I genuinely, I don't mind if it's a slam that makes sense. Yeah. I've had loads of people saying I don't like Mr Bean. The issue with that now mentioning it is people will just start doing it more. Cut that out. Cut that out. I can't deal with that. The other one I get a lot is Bruce Willis. Really? I've seen you got the guy from The Enemy. Oh, yeah, I get that a lot. Yeah. You're way better looking than him. I sort of feel bad for him.

1:23:34Do you? Yeah, because I always say that it annoys me that get likened to him. He's not a bad looking guy. No, no, no. He's got a few years on you now as well, hasn't he? Yeah. Do you see it?

1:23:50Yeah, you're definitely a better version, aren't you? No offence to him. Good save. Okay, let's move to... Third tweet. Avoid expensive train fares by pretending to be asleep when blank.

1:24:08I'm trying to think what it, because again, I assume that's a joke, but it's not a joke that would have been good enough for stage because then it wouldn't have been on Twitter. So it's not going to be a great joke. Right. Is Twitter like your recycling bin then, is it? It was once upon a time. Right. It is literally just a bad night forum now. By pretending to be asleep when people try and make plans with you. Correct. Correct. Smashed it. Well, did you actually remember the tweet then? No, I like it, I like it, yeah. I think he was just trying to think of a new joke there, weren't you? Yeah, I'd come up with the same shit again.

1:24:43Smashed my gig so hard that somebody... I don't know, put someone through a table. Follow me on Depop. Follow me on Depop. That actually happened. Did it? Yeah, yeah. Someone did follow me on Depop after a gig. That's when you know you've done well. This is a good joke. Heard a lot about Putin's kill list. When do we find out blank? who we jagged and married that's a really nice joke yeah that is a good joke well done me got my second jab yesterday and I've woken up shivering apparently that is a common side effect of

1:25:21I don't know the jab waking up in the UK in August oh satire I would have liked it if you did just end it with apparently that is a side effect of the jab another stellar tweet from matt bragg anti-joke right finally stevie 2020 christmas adverts this year are meaningless you've got another thing coming if you think the most upsetting thing i've seen this year is a fucking what would have been the 2020 uh was that a man on the moon no but you get you're on the right line is it john lewis yeah yeah it's a little one i think it's actually little. Oh, like one of the carrot ones? Yeah. So what did the carrot do that would be sad?

1:26:09That's really good, actually. What, what is it? What's the carrot done? What did the carrot, uh, fall in the gravy? You've got another thing coming if you think the most upsetting thing I've seen this year is a fucking carrot caught in a snow drift. Yeah. I stand by that. Yeah. Oh, there we go. Matt, this has been a lot of fun. Thank you very much for having me, mate. Thanks for coming on and pressing us with the scarf. That will be on the set somewhere for at least a moment of time. In shot. In shot. I reckon it will be along the top there. Are you all right with that? Oh, yeah, I've got a camera there.

1:26:50Yeah. I'll check the frame before we leave. Might have to lower it a little bit. As long as it goes in, that's all that matters. Ideally, you want it on across the front. whatever yeah you know if I don't see it just send me fish there we go good luck with everything you've got coming up mate Matt Bragg live out on October the 16th so could already be out who knows on YouTube and Spotify but we are fans of Spotify so go and check it out over there Matt we always finish on the same question we want to know what is the meaning of life that sounds God Oh, that's, yeah. Do you ever get, like, big answers on this?

1:27:33We get a whole array. We get a whole array. We've pretty much had everything. We'd just like to see your take. I genuinely think that we should don't be a cunt. You say that on Spotify? Yeah. Something said now. Yeah. There we go. Don't be a cunt, guys. See you in a few days. Meet you down the Nordic Isle of Lidl once a week. Once a year. Once a year. See you there. See you there.

1:28:03Jack makes happy hour.

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