624 - New Year's Ressies

32:52You want a time machine? Yeah, I want to go to the place. What is it about Vietnam? I don't know. I've just always heard good things. And I've just, it's so out of my comfort zone, it's a joke. So if I could go there, that'd be great. Great, you should do it. Yeah. Do you know when you're going to go? No, probably like September time or something like that. Have you checked what it's like at the time of year? Nah. I do that now because I've recently went to Sweden. Didn't check before how cold it was. Yeah. But also now I will, I'm normally chat GPT. I'll ask those questions about a place I'm going to go to when's a good time to go what should I do a bit of research before you go yeah I'll have to ask when it's good but I think September maybe okay I want to watch The Sopranos very good show never seen it I need to watch it I've never seen it yeah I've heard amazing things about it good show just persevere with it because at first it is a bit overwearing the number of characters like a lot of these shows yeah I think someone said that exact thing to me recently and I can't tell if it was a conversation we had but I've not seen you for ages no so someone that's so I was talking about The Sopranos with someone recently and they said that exact same thing like the first season's difficult and then after that it's just the best thing ever right I think you've still enjoyed the first season but it is there's a lot going on but just sort of go okay don't worry that you don't quite know who someone is or you've forgotten this yeah because but this is my issue right so our friend Orrin got us tickets to go and watch Hamilton recently brilliant show right I paid 250 quid for the biggest so I got Orrin oh did you to be fair I put them a year in a fund what at Norwich yeah Right.

34:19Oren got me tickets as well. See, now here's my thing, right? I like it as a show. Yeah. Here, I'm thick. I think I am actually thick because I couldn't work out the storyline, right? And after the first few acts, I couldn't get it and I couldn't get my head back. Me and Fee, for Christmas, we went to Birmingham because John Kearns was in the new, he did a comedy version of Sherlock Holmes called Sherlock Holmes and the 12 Days of Christmas. I couldn't get the storyline because I find that I sit there, right? and they're setting the plot and my brain drifts off for five minutes. I don't think not following Hamilton's bad.

34:55I think there's a huge amount of historical information that's very quickly packed into one verse. Some of the faster raps as well, the rapping, sometimes you can be like, I think things are quite big in history. I think you can patch it together a bit though with Hamilton. It's like, oh, I missed that, but then, okay, that's just happened. I got the rough idea of it the first time I saw it and then I listened to it at home and then the second time I saw it, because I saw it in London years ago. So that's why I don't think I'm going to be able to get my head around Sopranos. Because I reckon that the average person watches it, and by the second season they go, I get this now, I'm cooking on gas.

35:26Whereas I'm going to be there season four, and what the fuck is going on here? You'll still get it, I think. You'll just won't remember necessarily, so who's that guy again? You'll just forget bits like that, I think. Whereas you'll still pick up on the main things as to what's going on. Right. Yeah, you'll be fine. You do give up series a lot, though, don't you? You'll watch one or two episodes. You never finished Penguin, did you? No, I watched all by the last two episodes. So yeah, you never finished Penguin, did you? No, I didn't. I'm watching a great series at the minute. What are you watching?

35:51I'm watching the Wu-Tang documentary. It's not a documentary. It's a dramatization of their lives. The Wu-Tang Clan, 1990s, originating hip-hop group from New York City. And that's brilliant. But I'm watching it on my phone as well. And it's shot quite a lot at night. And everyone's black in it. It is quite hard to work out which characters want on the phone or a thing like that as well. Right. So that is quite hard to follow as well. Yeah, fair enough. I've just started Stranger Things first time ever. I've heard that's a big thing. I could not think of anything worse. That's not your kind of thing.

36:28I've never had an intrigue for it at all. Why are you doing it then? Because Isaac wanted to watch it and I think it's borderline for his age. Like there's a bit of swearing and stuff which he finds so funny. I'll tell you what. So yeah. So I was like I'll watch it with him to make sure it's okay and it mostly is. There's like a couple of like slightly sexual scenes but nothing dramatic because they're mainly kids, obviously. But we've just finished season one, so we're just going to watch an episode a night when we're together. We're nearly at the end now. As you know, it's just finishing real life.

36:56We're a couple of episodes from the end. And I'll be honest, I don't think it's that good. No. I think it's fine. There's a lot of stuff I'm just going, what? I didn't realise it started 10 years ago. The first season, some of the CG in that first season, I was thinking like, this is shit. And I was like, oh, it came out in 2016. I remember me and Fee started to watch it when it first came out. and then we yeah it's definitely not your kind of thing at all my last one was I want to get into dumplings more oh like what sort of dumplings I don't know I've been eating chicken dumplings recently you know the ones that are a bit like they're like steamed okay so that sort of thing not like the sort of big bready dumplings you might get no like the gyoza type things I love the gyoza yeah but I've always liked the idea of them but every time I put them in my mouth I don't like the texture but recently I've been trying to eat the chicken ones because it's like a good entry level gyoza or dumpling well gyoza's more fried isn't it?

37:44Yeah. Where it's dumplings more. I'm happy with either. I'm the same with dumplings. It's like, like bao buns. Yeah. I can't do a bao bun. I can't do a bao bun. Can't do them. Yeah. I had them in the summer last year and it was horror. It was like eating candy floss out. The stuff inside a bao bun. Yeah. Lovely. Yeah. Yeah. I can't. And that's what I think dumplings are a little bit similar to that. But this year I want to make it my dumpling era. Yeah? Yeah. Jack Dumpling. Love that. Yeah. What era are you in? You're in a dumpling era. Oh. because i've worked out for a month

38:14i'll have a little think of i'm potentially shaved here aren't i it's gonna be mine oh you're gonna do this relatively soon are you no maybe some maybe some when it's because it's still cold at the moment you know when you first get your hair cut and you leave the barbers and the wind hits hard i don't want that on my face with the current weather so maybe april march may time Then you enter a new era. What era are you exiting? Bearded era. There's not much going on your life. What era are you in? I think I'm at the start of my African era. I feel like having gone to Africa, like to South Africa.

38:50I'm trying to get Becky to come to Nairobi with me. I don't know if she wants to. It's really hard to tell. Does she keep saying no? No, she keeps saying yes. But she just won't lie and not turn up. I'm unsure Why have you got Nairobi? I think it's a funny place for me to be Where's Robbie? He's in Nairobi That's funny right? Because you wouldn't think I'm in Nairobi If you said guess alright you've got one minute to guess where Robbie is you wouldn't get Nairobi in that time Yeah but my thing you go to so many different places that it doesn't shock me that much Yeah Also I found out because I do a lot of these World's Best Bar things I found out there's an Africa's Best Bar and it's in Nairobi There we go I love that that's quite a good reason for a video.

39:33I think you're about to be in your pop girl era. Do you? Because you're about to become one. My stadium pop era. If you do get a stadium tour. Yeah. Backstage tickets or? Yeah. Okay. I'll be your groupie. Okay. I don't know if I'm starting out where I can get a better groupie respectfully.

39:55Honestly, I just thought it would be loads of light cock girls, but it's just Jack.

40:02Josh Black. Josh Black, he'll probably support you. Yep, probably. If he was asked to play Wembley, he would, yeah. Have you got any New Year's resolutions? Well, apart from my singing one, I'll tell you what to look up in my notes because I can't remember. Oh God, that's fine. Friends, that's fine. See, I feel quite relaxed about this year's New Year's resolutions because they're not like, I'm going to run 1 ,600 kilometres. No, I like that we've gone simple. I'm going to run 1 ,600 kilometres. Now, I'm going to clear up my garage a bit. Yeah, good. I think it'd be a useful space. That's a great one, Robbie.

40:35Can I have that as well? Not your garage. Can I? Yeah. I don't have a garage. You can clear up mine with me. Your news with me, get a garage. Get a garage. I did my Eves last night. Like an attic. There are two girls, you know. Hey. My ass. It's like, what's wrong with you? I'm just trying to work out what that sentence means. Two people called Eve. I think it's like the, because we're on like, we have a three story house, but the top floor has all been converted into a bedroom and a bathroom. So our attic is like another door within the bathroom. So it's not really an attic. And that's called an Eaves.

41:13That's what Ariane always calls it. So I've just agreed with it. Never heard of it. I think that sounds about right. But yeah, I was sorting that out yesterday. Fair place, yeah. So we're all cleaning. Yeah. So I reckon, but I reckon if I can clear up some space in there, I can make better use of it. Right. Because it's quite a decent-sized garage. I've never seen the inside of either of your garages. Have you not? No. All right. It doesn't sound like you would have done. I've been to your houses a lot. I feel like I should have seen your garage. I will take you there. It's not very usable at the minute, because there's a lot of stuff in there.

41:42I'm not going to come help you tidy it, aren't they? Well, yeah, maybe. And then I've been getting good quality storage boxes for a few months now. They're pricey. Yeah, they are. But do you know what? I regret not doing it earlier. Why? because if you get good things that don't just break and are strong, sturdy, sturdy girls, and then you can stack them up. I've got those. I'll label them nicely like that. So I'll have boxes for Christmas stuff, ski stuff, and you can put them all in there, and then you know where everything is. You're not having to go, oh, God, where did I put this last year?

42:16That is good. But I need to clear up more space so I can make more room for boxes. And then eventually the boxes can be around the edge of the garage and the middle I can use for whatever I want to. woodworking are you going to get into woodworking? no probably not what I think I'll probably do is eventually what could he do I'll actually have a little art thing in the corner what I think I might eventually do is have maybe like build like a massive model railway like when I'm retired is that your era? that'll be the end scale electrics? no no model railway is like when you've got to that age when I'm like 65 or something like that a couple of years just do that My dad has that in his attic.

42:57Does he? Yeah, he has a whole railway thing. He'd paint things and create this whole thing with a crane going around. You can ask him. He'll be listening to this. I'll just remember your dad. I'm all right. Just joking, Clive. He's going to listen to me. Yeah, he's enough to do. Here's the thing. This isn't a New Year's resolution, but this is quite a serious life thing, right? Because we're doing our, what is that, our mental minute? We're not calling it a mental minute. What are we calling it? We can call it a mentally vulnerable minute. Right. Okay. Now, age I'm at, right? It's like, and I'm sure we spoke about this before on and off the pod.

43:31It's like, right, am I going to have children? Right? A big part of your life. Big decision, brother. Big decision, yeah. You're getting older. None of us are getting younger. You should see me aging rapidly. You've also said that to two people who see me all the time. You should see me, I did. Literally before the summer. You can see it now if I've been like that. In May 2024, no, sorry, in May 2025, Fee and I were laying in bed and we were talking about like, oh, do you think we'll ever have children? Like, will we do this? Whatever. We're both quite mature enough to know like, it's not the right time, right?

44:04We don't want to rush into it. So in May 2024, we said this. 2025? 2025, thank you. We said this. We are going to have two more summers, right? This is what he said in May. And two more Christmases, right? Yeah. Which means we've had our summer, right? We had Glastonbury and we did all that. We had this Christmas, right? And now this year is our last year, right? That's not to say that when December 31st comes around, we have to have children. We've got until May 20th. You can start fucking. I get it. I get it, brother. But we... Until then. Until then, no, then it's raw dog all the way. The end of this year, we want a decision.

44:47So we want to know whether we're ever going to have them or not. Baby Var. baby var this year I don't want to be I'm already going to be an old dad I don't want to be an even older dad but do you not think you could get to the end of the year and go nah actually let's leave it and then like a few months later go actually maybe we could no because I don't want to be an old dad I'm already an older you won't be that old dad in the grand scheme yeah he's old dad compared to you compared to you but Arlo I was I'd just turned 40 when Arlo was born had you? yeah Yeah. So I think 30s is these days. Particularly if you live in London, you definitely would be one of the young dads.

45:26How old were you when Kitty was born? So when I'd have been 34. Right. OK. Ish, I think. Yeah. Well, there we go. So you could be about the same as Robbie with Kitty. Yeah. But I feel like this is my year. I'm going to really just do everything that comes my way this year. So he's going to die of a drug overdose and won't have kids. There we go. That's how it ends, kids. and then at the end of this year this is our what third episode of the year or whatever in the final episode I'm going to have more of a clear mind frame of where I want to go in life okay normally the final episode will you though I was going to say you'll be smashed at Christmas probably depending on when we record it having been to the darts several nights and not slept I don't think that's when you should make the decision you just like a you make the decision two weeks into January don't make it over the Christmas period so this is going out when like the 18th or something like that I don't know yeah this ep in a year's time I will genuinely talk about it because I'll put it on my calendar so that will come up year to day that's my New Year's resi to have a decision by the end of the year on if I want kids or not and obviously Fee's entitled to her own independent decision but what happens if one says yes and one says no then I don't think that will happen but we'll see so she's not entitled to her opinion yeah something that'll happen Fee yeah right should we finish on some of the I've got another resolution yeah um i want to have like more free time like i do i put too much stuff in i don't mean like not working free time i want to like have more gaps because what i'll do is i'll go oh i've got a free day there i'll go and film this or i'll do this sort of thing which i think i'm pretty better off doing is going okay maybe i'd do a video every two weeks instead of aiming for every week or something like that and then have more time we can still do stuff but then i think the more different things you do the more different things it leads to yeah if that yeah again mentally mentally vulnerable minute i mean do you like that then do you like the chaos of life i i like having a bit of time to do whatever you want to do like obviously if i've if i've got my stadium tour i'm gonna have to write a few songs for it but you have a little bit of time where you can go okay and just like for example like because i had a bit of free time before christmas i did a few instagram real things have cut down sort of thing that like and that one of those got with us has got over like four million views yeah and and things that will become clear in the future come up because of that yeah right so i think the more different things that you do and the more things that you put out there yeah that are a bit different the more stuff can come your way happens and there's other things i know that i think might happen this year because of things that i've done it's also very critical but i think the more different things you do and unusual things that you try the more can i spin off that right so this is what where i've been at right so when i was like 18 19 and trying to make it in youtube i was saying yes to everything yes and um then obviously success comes or doesn't come whatever and then and then there was a period where i was like well i'll do it if the money's right and stuff like that and then last year I found myself just doing or like especially since we've been doing the pod and Jack and Stevie just doing a lot more stuff I don't know if this year is the year I'm going to start saying no to more things so is that what you're saying?

48:50Is that kind of what you're saying? Yes, to a degree but also not feeling the need because a lot of the stuff is stuff I'm just choosing to do Yeah, right So I look at the calendar normally a month before I'd have most of my days I'd know what I was going to do on each day whereas now I'm trying to go okay so there's four days in later this month that i'm gonna try and not have any massive plan for oh well i probably have to edit a video that around that time or something like that yeah i have it a bit more more free and then so happens i remember when i first moved to norwich and i was just generally a bit free because i had less youtube stuff to do something in general we sort of go around in norwich a bit more ago today i'll we go meet up and just hang out something like that i want to do a bit more of that a bit more more what's the word space yeah i feel that i feel that because i find if somebody asked me to do something it might be like semi-cool opportunity yeah i have this severe guilt that i should do that because that's what me of 19 would have really wanted to yeah right when in reality do i really want to do that yeah so it's like and and say it's like something comes up in in manchester oh do you want to be on this show right it's not gonna yeah i don't know say i'm gonna pluck something out the air but like say you can go be on like the overlap yeah like that right oh do you want to come on and be the west hand fan on the overlap right i'm gonna think i should do that yeah i should do that because it's gonna get me out there blah blah blah one like i'm completely content with how out there i may or may not be yeah and two maybe so obviously if there's a fee i'll do it but then three when that day comes i'm not really just gonna want to do it like i just know i'm not like i don't know if that's laziness so be it but also i've just i'm happy with where i am in the world right now so i don't know if i'm just going to try and say no to more things but should you feel guilty for saying no to things that next year those opportunities might not come again no i don't think you should because i think i think more opportunities will come with the space that you have as well right i think right is my theory yeah so i think i'm more i'm gonna rather than going here's space I have to fill it I think it'd be more like trying to sort of be go here's some space I want to try and keep that free and I might become a food reviewer oh here he goes what happened to that he never uploaded the Omastare I know because I didn't go home with you so I'm going where's the thing I got nervous you didn't discram that I didn't even have the KFC festive burger this year because I kept saying when I do it I do it on camera and then I got too nervous and then you missed out I might just like record 10 and then never release them.

51:29Can we watch them now? As long as we can watch them, I don't care. Why don't you record 10 and we'll just play them in an episode? All right, yeah. And then that should be... It's soft launch. Yeah, okay. Okay, so shall we compare our New Year's resis with some of our listeners? Yeah. Finish the episode by going through a few of those. Okay, I've gone through... There's quite a few. We got quite over 300 in the time that we put the form up to now. It's only been on a few hours. Yeah, so... Super popular. so I've kind of picked some that are silly some are funny and some are serious so I just thought we can have a nice little eclectic mix so we're going to hear them and then we're going to discuss whether they're good and give advice on how people can achieve this perhaps yeah these are our Lizzie's New Year's Rezzie's nice for our Rezzie's my resolution is to stop flirting with my best friend he isn't gay but I have a crush on him and we flirt a lot as friends but I need to stop in order to get over him oh yeah well she's worked out that oh he's worked out yeah okay yeah well he's worked out he's not worked out he's worked out the issue there and he knows what he needs to do so good approve of that yeah that's sensible you do need to do that you need to have a sort of clear boundary yeah well I agree next person says their new year's resolution is to get the job as the makeup artist for Happy Halloween 2026 oh do you know they're in stuff no they've not said so if you're the person who wrote that, DM one of us or all of us and one of us will see it on Instagram would be the easiest way.

52:57Just DM us. I think if we start looking at makeup artists now, DM Stevie, don't DM me. I can tell you a really good way to make that goal achievable. Zero fee. Work for free. Yeah. I thought you were like, kill Fiona. You kill Fee, you'll get the job. Work for free. Job's yours. Send us your work, send us your rates and then who knows. And also, I'm going to get backlash for that. I have paid every single makeup artist that has ever come in and worked for us. It's an expensive. Because no one would do it for free. Okay, next one. Eat less spring rolls. Oh! The opposite of your dumplings. Wow. I love a spring roll.

53:35Do you like a spring roll? Not really. A duck spring roll. Never had a duck. You've never had duck? Never tried duck. Have I had duck, Fee? You've had duck. I've never had it. Duck's so good. There was little bits of duck flying around at my party. You might have had a little duck canapé maybe. No, I wouldn't have gone near it. There's duck spring rolls. Make ducks so good. I'm not quackers. Yeah, good. You like chicken. You like turkey. It doesn't mean you get out of your share of the bill. I'm trying to think of another one. Do a duck. Oh, look at you. You think you're Mallard over there, don't you?

54:03Yeah, yeah, nice. I don't know any ducks. Go on, Stevie. I don't know any ducks. He's got a good one. It's not your dynasty, mate. Well, I think you're both cunts. Okay. Donald Trump. Cut after this. Donald Duck Trump works. Come after this. Can we go to Chinatown? Right? No, we've got stuff on. Oh. I was going to get a duck wrap. We're together for three days straight now. You are eating duck within those three days. Yeah, not completely straight. No, next time. I'm the gay friend. You're the gay friend.

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55:19Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. Okay. This year, I'll make sure I touch the backside of a pretty lady. Oh, my God. With consent. Oh, my God. Why is backside weird in that? Because he said pretty lady. Andrew Tate over here. He's not going, hey, I'm going to touch the backside of a pretty lady. That's something he'd say. He's not American, is he? No, he's got that weird accent. Yeah. That's a weird, weird New Year's resi. New Year's resi, yeah. make sure I touch the backside. I think you've got more chance if you don't say it like that.

55:53Do you mean like just touching it? I hope he means I will get to kiss and cuddle a lady consensually. I'm hoping. Okay, well the next one says I'm going to be less intolerant of illegal immigrants. That's good. That's a good start. Hang on, let me work that out. So, less intolerant. Yeah. So I'm intolerant. I'm going to be less like that. Yeah. Illegal, which is the opposite of legal. Yeah, got you. And much more intolerant... I no longer understand it. And much more intolerant of the filthy Scottish in the run-up to the World Cup. Ooh, yeah, let's bring that in. Let's bring that in. I like a little bit of hashtag bants from five times.

56:33The issue here is if they have a good run, it only looks bad on us. Whereas if we're just nice about it... You won't remember Scotland in the World Cup. We won't! Don't worry. It's a different era, mate. You've got McCommon A, one of the best players in the Italian league yeah we had Kenny De Glees Alan Hanson Graves Sears we had some good players before yeah Ian Rush I assume that one's they're just doing a little bit of footy bant so as a resolution feel free have your football banter during the World Cup this one isn't mental by the way I absolutely hate one of my housemates this year I vowed to cause her a series of inconvenient and misfortunate events as my resolution because she's a fucking cunt.

57:20I've started small, just moving things around in her cupboard or hiding things from the fridge, but it will escalate because 2026 is the year to be petty as fuck. Recommendations, please. Get in your house for one of those. That sounds very exhausting. Yeah. Can't they just move out? Get in your house, mate. Yeah. Yeah. Did I ever tell you that story? I can't. I think it was like a... I feel like I might have said this on the pod, but it's also like a story. The hide the shit game. What? i feel like i've said this before that it was a story i heard at uni that these housemates like played this game of hide the shit and they had to hide the shit in their flat and so whoever found it then does it blah blah it's natural poo yeah oh my new poo each time fresh poo right in a bag so then pringle too the winner they ended up not being able to find it and what it done is he'd scraped out the butter out of a butter, put the shit in, put the butter back on top of it.

58:17And then the person was just using their butter for weeks and he didn't find it until he scraped through. I'm sorry. You would smell that your butter smells of shit. You'd go open up the butter and go, wow, that stinks of shit. Oh, well, let's get my toast. I can't believe it's not butter. Wow, have you had the new Lerpag? It stinks of human shit. I can believe it. It stinks. I don't know if that's like an old wives tale and it was just a story that was going around a bit like Dolly Rogers or whatever It sounds an awful house to live in though What are they called? Dolly Ranch What's Dolly Rogers?

58:52It's an old pirate's tale So do you have any advice for this person to do petty things to their cunt housemate? That's what they paid to say You picked a team early on, haven't you? Just get a new housemate Get a new housemate What do they do with their current housemate? Petty things No, I mean get a new housemate nice just buy a new house alright petty things I'm trying you just don't do it put shit at the bottom of their butter shit in their butter shit in their butter there you go shit in the butter my new year's resolution is to not rely on the past as much and focus on creating new positive memories rather than surrounding myself with nostalgia all the time round sheep brilliant great one I like it until they have surrounded themselves with nostalgia by ending up with round sheep I think round sheep's a bit nostalgic well it's just a phrase though isn't it just a phrase you know when we had dominic milton trot on the podcast yeah he said that a way in which um he makes time not go so quick is by filling each day with like different experiences yeah because you know if you do the same and not on the same for a long time you only remember like the start and then the end and it can go quick obviously us three here we're very fortunate that we can do lots of different things in our life i think 2025 i did so many different things that 2025 actually felt like it lasted for a long time.

1:00:12So isn't that cool? Yeah, I get what you mean. So I'm saying that I'm, so I enjoyed that element of it, but yeah, I'm here going, I'm going to say no to more things. I don't know. I need to rethink it. Yeah, but that means you can do different things. True. Because you're not just going to sit there. Yeah. But you're saying no to dull things that you're not interested in to do other things that you are in. That's true. That's true. I get to make a sausage at some point. Yeah. Or you'll just sit at home. Yeah. Can I come make the sausage with you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can come in. for Jack and Stevie.

1:00:39Could you come watch me make a sausage? Yeah, you can come watch me make a sausage. Can Fee get me a ticket? Yeah, I'll ask her. I'll take it. Just so you know, it's 6pm, so they've been on traffic. Okay. Nice piece of advice for the nostalgia person. My resolution is to judge people more for their music taste and eat less cheese. Why do you want to judge people more? Why do you want to eat less cheese? They don't even match. Well, I think cheese is severely overrated personally I agree Robbie's got three cheese boards in the fridge yeah so you're not finished your cheese I don't eat cheese I'm like you I know I've said this before on the pod but that is the most surprising thing about you like I I can eat cheese now I've travelled up to a bit it's occasionally if someone's gone no this is a really good cheese I go okay I'll have a bit of cheese I'm just not that into I don't like the idea of cheese board I don't think to be honest it's a bad thing to not be that into it's not particularly good for you is it I'll have cheese I'll cook with cheese I'll make like I'll put I don't know parmesan in dishes and stuff like that I'll just sprinkle parmesan over that but just lumps of cheese on cheese cheese and wine go together don't they so I thought that'd be a bit you that's the thing I've done things like that where they provide cheese I've eaten the cheese but I'm like it's fine what do you think about the resolution to judge people more for their music taste why yeah I think it doesn't really matter what someone else listens to unless they're forcing you to listen to it.

1:02:07Yeah, I don't give a shit what anyone is saying. You're just saying that because your Spotify rap was all Lost Prophets. My Spotify rap's all just Isaac's music. So he is forcing me to listen to rubbish. If you were a Lost Prophets fan, would it now be all right, now that he's dead and won't benefit financially, would it be all right to start listening to them again? You should still listen to the man that did those things though, aren't you? Yeah. That's the whole separate yard. Yeah, but if he's dead, is it now like, No, I don't think it is. Because it's like, what if... He's not going to benefit financially from it.

1:02:40But the other guys in the band have been screwed over by this as well. But, yeah, that's a great question. Where do you separate the... It's a weird question to bring up randomly for no reason. Well, let's ask the audience. If any of them were Lost Profits fans, are you listening again? If James Acaster shot up at school, right? Yep. Then killed himself, right? Yeah. Could you listen to the old off menus?

1:03:08That's made you think that. That's round cheap as shit. Well, I don't think it's fair to Ed Gamble if you don't. There you go. There are still 264 ,000 monthly listeners. Whoa. On Spotify for Lost Profits. Do you think some of them could be a little bit weird? Like they're like pedos themselves. I wonder if that's changed though. Maybe my theory's right. Maybe now that's gone up. I bet it wasn't like that a while ago. Do you not think? is there a way to find out what it was six months ago i don't know yeah but how can you be in the car blasting out ian watkins vocals knowing what that man has done you can't if he was the drummer you'd let him get all the you don't know a lot about music do you okay you can't judge me with music states if they think that's what the drummer does but the audience has checked the guitar sound the side played the air guitar um he if he was in the background you probably could get away a bit more but he's the one singing so yeah being the lead vocalist does make that a hard one doesn't yeah the only thing i can find is a tracker that only shows me the last week but they've dropped they've lost 7 000 listeners in the last week okay okay on to the next one another music one weirdly to find music I love that's sung by a woman I don't think I've ever had a Spotify rap with a woman or women in it it's just always solo artists and bands which are all men, so that's a random goal I have for this year that's a great one, I can give them some recommendations yeah Marley Cyrus, got some bangers Sia very good vocalist I was listening to her Christmas album non-stop over Christmas, it's a banger Chapel Rhone yes chaperone it's great um uh wolf alice female singer in that i've listened to a couple songs recently trying to get into him for the for the summer yeah good you like wet leg wet leg okay um and then there's another one the last dinner party i think they're called yeah i think there's a female yeah that's that's them in it yeah that's that'd be my recommendations okay i i well my favorite bands at the minute are the beaches who are a band from canada they're all for women.

1:05:21You can't call them that, Robbie. Okay.

1:05:27I like self-esteem. She is a woman. Yeah. We're listing women now, aren't we? Coach Party are 50 % women. Yeah. They're a band I enjoy. Is that enough? Yeah, that's enough. How about a little bit of ABBA? Fleetwood Mac. Yeah. Yeah. I've been getting into Fleetwood Mac. They've got some bangers. yeah i can't believe it there's so many good ones like i went through the songs i've heard them all before and never knew that that was fleetwood yeah they got huge songs so arianne absolutely loves fleetwood mac so last year i got her one of their uh one of their like the best of record but it didn't have some of the best songs on there so this year i got her rumors but also with um a book about their whole kind of career and i didn't realize that fleetwood mac was this english band that then ended up going over to america pete green the original guy who created um fleetwood mac yarmouth really yeah ended up moving to yarmouth got way too into drugs and kind of became and just had to run away ended up becoming fleetwood mac and being over then stevie nicks joins but some of their stories from like interviews are insane they do that one of the stories is that in the um recording room they'd always do like a song that was to like be like we're about to do cocaine and they'd be like um someone would say what like maybe fleetwood would be like um chariots of fire and it'd go dun dun dun dun dun and it's slow motion run with a tray just full of drugs to be like we're all gonna do drugs together now and i think it was either um it was one of the two men from the kind of final one that said that if there's like a quote, which was something like over the years that they were Fleetwood Mac, they can guess or estimate that they did about seven miles long of cocaine.

1:07:22But they were just constantly on it. Jesus Christ. The book is insane. Like their careers and everything is just like, every time she'll read something and be like, no way did this happen. It's not fucking mental. And obviously Rumours is one of the weirdest things because they're all cheating on each other and stuff. and it's like, yeah, insane. I didn't expect to have some Fleetwood Mac law in the service right there. Yeah, it's a real mix of an episode. You know what's going to happen? We could be discussing the moral issues of listening to Lost Prophets or talking about how good Fleetwood Mac are or having real vulnerable moments.

1:07:53Or I could be singing Jebel Rhoad. You get it all here. It's a real smorgasbord, isn't it? I love it. Okay, on to the next one. My resolution is to only masturbate on special occasions or when I'm actually... The Queen's built. or when i'm actually horny in 2025 why is it the special occasions why is it just the first one i'm not so horny but it is saint swithin's day in 2025 i probably masturbated at least 300 days of the year and doing it that often takes a special feeling out of it yeah i mean go for it yeah sounds sounds good i don't think you need the special occasions yeah the last bit either do it only on special occasions or only when you're already don't do both that sounds it sounds like they're just doing it like for the sake why would they why would anyone do it when you're not maybe it helps them sleep yeah it does say um i'm a female i'm a female by the way if that influences the discussion well we're not qualified so you should need more as it's cool

1:09:09yeah listening to happy hour that's a special occasion yeah we'll skip that one then um okay i've done things i didn't enjoy to help my health and stuff before but this year i want to do something i'll actually enjoy so my resolution is to finally after so long of struggling hit a 180 at darts you're the only guy who's hit a 180 you can hit one yesterday don't he's the only guy who's in this room in this room yeah that's always come to you did you see my one i hit yesterday uh i think i first thing i saw this room i've stopped looking at them now his dart swing on this i'm not turning the sound on for a dance for still.

1:09:53So what do you want me to say to him? It doesn't matter. Next one says, I want to stroke Robbie's moustache. You could make that happen. You could actually make someone's New Year's resolution happen. Robbie just said. They don't actually want to, do they? ASL. I think, is that what he's asking? Yeah. I think a lot of people, if you gave them the opportunity, would stroke your moustache. If you went, queue up, anyone who wants to stroke my moustache, you'll get a bit of a queue. Queue up. Get a bit of a queue, yeah. I probably would. I'd get a few people. Yeah. I wouldn't want it. No, but maybe they do want to.

1:10:23No, but they're not actually, he's not actually a homegirl I really want a straight Robbie's moustache. Yeah, that's not actually the New Year's resi, is it? No. Might be. You don't know. Why are we objectifying Robbie? Yeah. Why don't we get back to objectifying the woman who masturbated? Next one says, I work within the emergency service and my New Year's resi, they even said New Year's resi, is to stop leaving items in what are questionable locations like crack dens, a strip club and the middle of a forest. things including my phone twice our£10 ,000 piece of kit my own car keys and the worst my colleague's student what?

1:10:58my colleague's what? student. what does that mean? so they're with an emergency service they'll go to something crack den, forest, whatever and then they'll leave and they'll be back and be like fuck I forgot my car keys or whatever. one time they've left a crack den or whatever and just gone we've left your student there. fucking hell doing crack I don't think you can I don't think you can get better at that I think it's just something that either you are good at or you're I'm clumsy I spill food on myself every single time I eat you do it's mad every single day every single time I eat and I can't change that you can't you can't I think it's good that they're trying to do it but essentially they're doing a very high pressure job where time is of the essence and they shouldn't beat themselves up if they occasionally leave as students how about next time you go up to work take something in your pocket like something you don't really care about buy a cheap deck of cards right every time you go to work take out one of the cards put it in your pocket and leave that at the scene right like a shit sort of villain yeah yeah that does look like you're leaving like your calling card ah who did this murder well here's the jack of spades every single murder the same guy's done but then you're actively by leaving it you're triggering that memory of going right i've just left that therefore have i left anything else No, I'll leave the seven of hearts there.

1:12:14I think maybe singing, I find singing songs helps because what I'll do, when I, Oh, here he goes. No, no, no. I'll have one singing lesson over here. No, because what I'll do when I'm, when people buy merch from me and I have to package up the merch. Get that in as well. From RobbieKnox.com. Yeah, I'll find that when people subscribe to JackAndStevie.com. Yeah, exactly. We can work together here, guys. You get the idea, right? So if you're buying reasonably priced good quality merch well designed then I when I'm packaging it up I have the package slip and I also have the labels because I bought a label printer which is the best thing I bought last year by the way to label everything up really good anyway and there's a bit where I put the things in the package that I have to remember who the package is for so I will sing a song while I'm packaging it up I'll get the thing and I'll go Dave Smith he bought a t-shirt Dave Smith he bought a t-shirt and I just need to sing the song until I got the label on the package so I can remember what I'm packaging up and then I go and who else bought a t-shirt it's Jane Jane Jane and I'll sing my own song as I go along packaging up so I can remember what I'm packaging at the time so what's this person doing at the emergency just left a murder at a crack den they can be going when they put down their keys they can be like trying to bring something to life going I put my keys on the side yeah yeah yeah clear put my keys on the side yeah yeah as I go put my keys on the side get their keys it might work for them you know what they just died but I've just remembered I put my keys on the side yeah yeah I like it I like it Robin I'm not sure forget my makeup I'm not sure he's gonna make it make up make it forgot my makeup shit he's dead okay good that's a good one one more let's have one more okay I would like to Whenever I drink, I throw up way too much.

1:14:14Sick head is too much. So bad, I tore my stomach. I was sicking up blood and shitting black. My resi is to somehow stop throwing up after drink. I think maybe either stop drinking. You're either drinking far too much. No, but they don't want to stop. They just want to stop the sick. That's not how it works. Yeah, they need to stop drinking so much. They need to stop drinking so much. Or if they're not drinking a lot, they need to go to the doctor because they are seriously ill of my die. Yeah, well, I'll do a couple more. Yeah, let's lighten the mood. Yeah. My New Year's resolution was, already completed, was to go to all four Norwich Weatherspoons in a day and I did it on the 3rd of January.

1:14:55Oh, wow. There's a bit of a distance between those as well. Well, I saw some fella came up on TikTok that he was doing, I don't know if it's the same guy, but he said, it really fucked me off, actually. Hopefully it's not the same guy. He said, and that can't be, He said, I'm going to be the first person in Norwich to go to every Wetherspoons, right? He didn't even go Whiffler, mate. He didn't even go Whiffler. He went, well, he said, I am going to do the big three. He said, I seen the bell and the glass house. You could do that accidentally on a pub. I know, I know. You could accidentally end up in a free one.

1:15:33Everyone's done that all the time. Yeah. Yeah. And then all the comments were like, what about the Whiffler? He was like, I didn't know about that. so fuck me if that's your stick yeah he's fucked it yeah absolutely yeah that wound me up way too much the next one says uh mine is to stop getting beat up i'm a boxer but i'm not very good yet good get good mate but you are a bit yeah i'm 20 and a virgin mine is to lose my virginity without losing my standards i'm aiming for seven or above well i should hope so oh i picked

1:16:12when i copied this one in i pictured that he was going i want to get with seven women this year and i was like what you want to lose your virginity and he's like he's fucking got high that makes more sense he wants a seven or above but he was saying seven years old

1:16:29it means a seven out of ten or above yeah fair enough if that's what you think you are But you need to realise. I'm not sure it's great to just be writing people by numbers. Do you know what I mean as well? Yeah, but you just do, don't you? I don't think I ever have, no. You have! Everyone has. I've never once in my life gone, that's a five. No, no, no. But when you're young and you're at uni or whatever. He's 20. Then you're out in a nightclub. You're not looking around at all the personalities, are you? You're looking around at who do you think you're looking? Yeah, but I'm not saying, I'm not getting numbers.

1:17:00So you're mentally doing that without actually putting a number on it and quantifying it. you are going around going, there's seven and eights there. Yeah, but that's different from quantifying. He's going, I've got, he's got a system. He's not going, oh, what do I like about her? Might be a little bit quirky, something different like that. Right. He's going, I want it to be at least a seven in my... When I heard that, I don't actually, I didn't actually think physically they're going, I've never gone seven, eight, nine like that. Oh, no, I don't think he's doing eights in his head. If I think I'm a six, then naturally I think I'm slightly above average.

1:17:29Really? Like, then I'm going around going, I'm not doing this in this world I'm going around who's slightly above average but remember what I said about go on I was going to say the funny thing about rating someone numbers out of 10 is you're not really rating them from zero up to the number you give them you're knocking points off 10 you're going they'd be a 10 if that was better they'd be so you're going they're not a 10 because they're this they're actually a 7 you're really counting the three things that have marked them down well I don't think do people analyse it that much if you show me a picture or something I think that's naturally...

1:18:02I'm not going to go well and start critiquing that I'm sure a seven. But if I say, if you went there a seven and I say, why are they a seven? If you only named the positive things, I could then go, well, why is that not a 10 then? You've only said positive things. You're then, you're marking them down for a reason. If not, you'd give everyone a 10. You've got to work out your system as well because if you're including like, if you're saying, oh, including everyone here, if you're like a heterosexual man, one to five has got to be other men. Do you know what I mean? Because then, so you're starting really, Six and above is a woman because if you're not gay, you're like, well, I'm not interested in those.

1:18:32Yeah. So then that should be... What about a really fucking ugly woman, though? It could be three, no? Or a really hot guy. It could be eight. Now you're not so strong. So are you saying a really hot guy and a slightly underpowered woman is a four? I'm not, no. I don't know what I'm saying. Okay. So are you saying you'd be more likely to sleep with a really hot guy than a really ugly woman? That's a brilliant question, that. Is it? Yeah, that really is. That was a brilliant question. No, that is a brilliant question. I present you with two people. Sam, clip this out. Steve, you look down that camera and ask that question.

1:19:10Clip this out, Sam. You are presented with two people. You're a straight person. Either side. You're presented with a very, very attractive person of the same sex, but a very, very ugly person of the opposite sex. Which one are you sleeping with? I'm going for the man. Same. Yeah. I'm going for the man. Yeah. We're not fully straight then. That's fine. Yeah. But, yeah, if it's Tom Hardy or a very ugly woman, I'm going... Is the woman nice? That doesn't matter.

1:19:53How nice would a fucking... really repulsive obviously the really ugly is in your head as well as what you find ugly are you going purely physically yeah purely physically and we're going like it's probably still a woman and it's all still in your head so the worst possible things you can think that you find unattractive in a person that's everything this woman is but all the best things you find attractive in a human that's everything this man is which one are you fucking just on looks yeah we're being very judgmental that's the part of that's the point of this that's the point of this game yeah it's not going to look great clipped out no I don't care I don't care it don't matter I still think probably the girl really I don't know yeah just yeah close your eyes you're too straight yeah no I'll go give me the give me the bloit so the bloit give me the bloit give me them both give me the bloit give me them both so what are we saying to the 20 year old virgin uh can't remember the things You've got to make sure you tell the Virgin that he's got to get a Wiffler for it to count.

1:21:00I can't remember what the question was. He said, he said, I'm doing a Virgin and I'm trying to go to every single Wetherspace in Norwich. I've done all three. Have I finished it? It says, I'm 20 and a Virgin. My resolution is to lose my virginity, but I don't want to lose a standard. Right, is the Jackmate verdict on this, if these boys don't mind me taking the floor. Keep your standards. Go out there. Try and get a seven and above. If it comes to December the 31st, 2026, and you are still a virgin, then you are not a seven. I was going to say, can I play devil's advocate? Is there a chance you're a virgin because you're shooting above your means?

1:21:41Yeah, well, I think that's clear, but let's just give them one more year to work out, like for me and the kids. And if you don't know what the answer will be, let's just wait and find out. There's a chance neither of you will be back since by the end of the year. Oh, we're back with a babe. I can say so, boys. I've enjoyed it. It's been good fun. It's been very good fun. We are off into the evening. I can tell that because you're literally putting your shoes on before you finish the pod. That's how clocked out you are of this. No, this has been good fun. This has been New Year's Resies with me, Jack, mate, Stevie White and Robbie Knox.

1:22:11Is 2026 going to be a good year? No. No, I just bottle flipped and it didn't work. You might have been the first person to try a bottle flip in 2026. One more go. This, everything relies on this. It's going to be a great year if I land this.

1:22:32It's not even on the table. Oh, no. At least I got a chicken nugget key.

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