625 - Stranger Tingz

26:35that was so cute i bought a um i think i've told this on the pod before but i bought a uh slender man costume one onesie not younger because yeah okay i was at my mum's house so it must have been fucking 15 years ago at least we're old yeah we're what would you do in it um so i wanted to go to a halloween party dressed as slender man but my sister didn't know i'd bought it and i like these it's just one of these things where you just regret doing stuff like i put it on and i knocked on a bedroom door at night right mate horrific right that's so money yeah and you know slender man sort of does that like that she opened her door i was gonna say she answered the door but you don't answer a bedroom door do you she opened the door and i went like that I have never seen such sheer panic and horror she screamed and cried for about five minutes and it doesn't matter how much you go I'm sorry I thought you'd find it funny it went down like a lead balloon you've traumatised her that's really good and also what I did you know do you know where Fiddy's Butchers is?

27:51I do now because Robbie described You described it to us the other day. Yeah, that. It's not too far. Usher Road. Yeah, yeah. There's an alleyway there, right? For no reason, I put that Slenderman costume on and I stood in that alleyway for about half an hour just so anyone that walked past would see me. You were the OG killer clown. I didn't film it. I weren't doing it for content. That's weird. I just did that. That's therapy levels of weird, isn't it? That's like you just wanted to cause... Because after you'd done it to your sister as well, so you'd seen the pain, and you're like, I want to inflict that on strangers.

28:28I can't remember what way round it came, yeah. You know there's a chance. I think you do. There's a chance there's some kid who's grown up in Norwich, who's an adult now, and they, in the pub with their mates, they'll have little conversations about urban legends and stuff every now and then, maybe. What, talk about your series? No. They might talk about ghost sightings and stuff, and one of them might just go, when I was a kid I genuinely saw Slenderman in an alleyway and I've had nightmares ever since why would you do that that's just psychotic that's the start of a Netflix documentary about a killer I probably was I probably was liking scaring people I don't know I've mellowed out yeah yeah but if you were young once and you went near Fiddy's Butchers and saw Slenderman in an alleyway when you were getting your half a pound of sausage meat it was me apologies sorry about that I'm not sorry I had a good time doing it okay so we'll We'll move on.

29:22The killer clown one is the most normal one out of all these, by the way. Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins, Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports.

30:04Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans. Fall has never looked or tasted this good. Sweetgreen's fall harvest menu is back with seasonal favorites dressed to impress and made to be devoured. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels and crave worthy flavors in the autumn harvest bowl, maple glazed salmon plate and roasted bacon Brussels side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen featuring fall's best dressed. Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. So we've gone much deeper, go much further back in time as well.

30:44with the first one of the dancing plague of 1518. I've heard about this. You told me about it last night. I told you that sentence and that was kind of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was letting him know what episode we were doing. Okay. He gave a little example. So the outbreak began in July 1518 when a woman known as Frau Trofou began to dance passionately and uncontrollably in a street in Strasbourg. So France. France. Frau means myth. It's German, so I think she might have been German. in france yeah okay so this yeah so she's in strasbourg right got you frau trofou had started dancing on july 14th on the narrow cobbled street outside her half-timbered home she had no musical accompaniment but simply began to dance she kept dancing until she collapsed from exhaustion after resting she resumed the compulsive frenzied activity at first those around her only watch curiosity piqued by this unusual public display they watched a woman who would not and could not stop some of those who had witnessed her strange performance had begun to mimic her and within days more than 30 others were also dancing some so monomaniacally that only death would have the power to intervene and this is true this happened yeah so a monomaniac is a person with an extreme obsessive preoccupation with a single thing idea or subject to the exclusion of all else often suggesting a mental imbalance or fanatical fixation fixation so 30 people were now all dancing as if they just couldn't stop themselves right right yeah in sync or i don't know friends got talent yeah no not necessarily they're all doing their own thing That's how diversity started.

32:31The band, not the promo.

32:36All races and colours were dancing. So the OG frow lady kept up the constant dancing for a week. Soon, three dozen others had joined in, and this is known and believed by some to be a perfect example of a nocebo effect, which can make some feel ill simply by being under the expectation of being ill. so you know like when you take a placebo thing yeah it's like that but there's just nothing so like a nocebo is where you just kind of go well if they're dancing i'm gonna end up dancing and then you do yeah so they're all just going into it it's human nature to copy what the others are doing isn't it but they're worried about it so much that they end up just doing it yeah rather than being able to not do it if you think you've undercooked chicken yeah and you eat it you might feel sometimes i'll feel ill yeah even though you're not i'm not ill yeah or yeah if you're like in a in a in a room with people and all 14 of them are like sneezing and coughing even though you might not have caught whatever they have you'll start to feel it because they if you went downstairs now after this pod and everyone in reception was doing a jig i'd probably just walk through they were all just doing a jig but all independent well he's doing a jig not dancing no like doing like a iris jig yeah iris jig yeah but they are in time not together independently.

33:59So there'll be people queuing up for a coffee, but they're jigging. Receptionists out there jigging. You'd jig, I reckon. Me? Nah. I couldn't let go enough. Would there not be a bit of you thinking you're on some kind of prank show or something, so you feel like... Where are the cameras? You'd feel it'd be weird if you don't dance. Would you not feel like they're all doing it? Do I look like an idiot? to do this experiment? Should we do it on Robbie? What, next time we do a four-skins app? How do we do that, though? What if, right? What if it was as simple as we all started going like this and clapping in time and see if he joins in?

34:40I think he would do it because he would just think... Would he be going, all right? No, I think he would think, oh, we're doing a bit for the podcast now, whereas I think it would be better if we just did something subtle and we all just sat there and we were like, you know how I'm clicking my fingers like this, but we're just talking normally. I'm just clicking just start clicking your fingers but go on join in boys but just talk to me normally and we're not even doing it in sync this year and we're just doing that and then if we just talk normally like this will he I think he'd just go what are you guys doing yeah he'd get annoyed I think we try it though next foreskins we'll all just randomly click you start it and then once we see you do it we'll start make a note of that please and we'll do that okay I think he will just go what's happening I don't think he's going to start clicking unless if he does he might start going yeah come on maybe if we don't do it so regularly but every time we make a point Yeah, that's so true.

35:25Yeah, I got you. Yeah, it makes sense. And see if he makes a point and click. We're like Derren Brown. Honestly. We're Derren Brown. You're like Derren Brown. Brown Derren.

35:37That's good. That is really good. Jesus. We've got a few dozen people dancing now. You've not lost the fire. I can see it. You're trying to pretend you've lost the fire. I'm in my fucking prime, mate. I'm going to get a Pepsi. Would anyone like a drink? I would love a Pepsi. Thank you. Are we done on that one? No. Okay, cool. Sure. So by this point, we've got a few dozen people who are all dancing. The city authorities were alarmed by this increasing number of dancers, and the civic and religious leaders theorised that more dancing was the solution. So they arranged for the guild halls for dancers to gather in, musicians started playing to go along with the dancing, and professional dancers would get involved to help the people who couldn't stop dancing.

36:25What? They were like, if they make it normal. That's a Russian doll of dancing. I think they were trying to make it normal. Like everyone's dancing, not as like an illness. Maybe when the music stops and everyone else stops, the OGs will stop. Because I say OGs a lot on this episode. It's my new thing. So they hired professional dancers. I wonder if they were trying. Like if they were trying to dance well, because I'm being paid, I might as well give it some. Yeah. Or whether they were just... just yeah yeah yeah i'm not sure what dancing was like in the 1500s either well probably probably good they weren't based on what well but they weren't break that they weren't a lot there weren't a lot of the current forms of dancing hadn't been invented right and understood but what what makes a good dancer now in 2026 right i'll tell you what makes a good dancer a person and and music right yeah but they had that back then it's not like we're going well we must be better now we've got iPads.

37:22No, but I'm saying a lot of like, like the waltz. I don't, I don't know if the waltz was invented in the 1500s. Oh, defo. Was it? When was the waltz? That's fucking up. The waltz is old as fuck. I didn't know if that was like 1700s. Oi, listen to the word. Waltz. Christoph. Sounds old, doesn't it? Waltz is such an old word. Yeah. Imagine if a sweet came out that was called a waltz. We saw a packet of sweets with a waltz. You'd be like, oh, my nan had waltz. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I went to an old rundown theme. Waltzer. It's a good one.

38:00When was the waltz? I'm not saying. The waltz is a sculpture. Oh, no. I want the waltz dance. God, read it before you fucking say it. It's a German dance. and there are sort of mentions of it in publications dating back to the late 18th century. Thank you, 1700s. That's a great guess for me. That was bagging, Stevie. But that's what I'm saying is like, the waltz is known to us as a really old dance. What type of dancing are they doing in 1500s? Oh, sorry, Stevie. It says here, the French philosopher Michael de Montièg wrote of a dance he saw in 1580 in Augsburg. So still 60 years after this. Oh, okay, right.

38:43But what were they? what was their form of dancing? Robot, robot. Imagine the first robot. I'm picturing disco dancing. I need to stop. I want to see it. It's the 70s, isn't it? Yeah, I think it's like a jig. Yeah. A jive. A jive. So they've got these professional dancers and they've got live music on. That only made it worse and almost 400 people were then dancing uncontrollably. That's a lot, isn't it? Dancers were beginning to collapse. The victims' movements were so convulsive and fitful that their bodies were left drenched in sweat. Their arms would thrash violently, and some noted that their eyes were vacant and expressionless.

39:22Blood would pool into their swollen feet, and they'd eventually bleed into their shoes. Often, there would also be cries for help from the affected. If the victims didn't succumb to a heart attack, they would collapse from extreme exhaustion, hunger, and thirst. There were as many as 15 deaths per day during the outbreak. Jesus Christ. Is this real? Yeah. But the final number of fatalities is unknown. yeah how do we know how do we know that's real that sounds not real there are so many documents going back to like the 1500s of people talking about it there's images there's there's carvings of like people like kind of documenting it like actual ones from like the early 1600s and stuff carvings proof though because i mean well that's what we're doing having embarrassed that you in yeah what are you trying to say that's a carving isn't it yeah yeah he was never real was he sorry mate wake up he's a queen's best mate but i think carvings back like we care about cave paintings and stuff.

40:16So like, because back then people weren't creating as much fake stuff as we are now, aren't we? Didn't have AI, did we? No. So the final number of fatalities is unknown. No one knew what caused it and no one knew how to remedy it. But by early September it just started to stop. Started to subside. No real reason. No one knows now why they stopped. Why has that not ever happened since in the history of man? It has. There's been quite a few different dancing outbreaks that have happened. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Oh, is that what the Harlem Shake? That was probably one, wasn't it? No. Did you lose anyone to the Harlem Shake?

40:54My granddad died around the same time. Yeah, but not of the Harlem. I mean, he went like that and never... He did the pause, but he never started dancing. That is dark. I'm so sorry. No, I know. That's terrible. It's all right. It's true. My granddad died as well. So I'm allowed to say it. What's that? My grandad has also died. During the Harlem Shake? No. Well, he had Parkinson's, but... I don't think that's what... That was more Gangnam. What does that mean? Gangnam style. No, his joke made sense. My joke makes way more sense with the Harlem Shake. Yeah, he's linked Parkinson's and Shake. You've just randomly gone, that was it?

41:34What's the Gangnam Style? No, because I'm going, I'm going, my grandad died of the Harlem Shake. What was another dancing viral trend back then? Gangnam Style. No, but he's... So his grandad died of the Gangnam Style. No, he's made an actual joke to Parkinson's and shaking. Because... Do you know what? I get your joke. Yeah, that's the actual joke. But I think my joke's better. Fuck off. No, it's way worse. His actually makes sense. Yours is shit. My grandad died of the Harlem Shake. His died of... Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. Neither is good. And it's horrible. Yours is all right. Yeah, mine is pretty good.

42:06So anyway, the dancing plague, even in the 20th century, investigators were still trying... Sick after saying all that, do you? It's horrible really Do you feel bad? Yeah Wouldn't you apologise Minute silence? Never done a minute silence on the pod Not a minute No that feels even more disrespectful We'll just take it back I find it awkward doing minute silences normally I have to Yeah I still have to do them a lot What 30? Yeah It's horrible Because you're facing the other team You think they're cunts They think you're cunts Why do you have to think they're Because that's footy But also you've got to try and remember like lest we forget no I've got a point though right so our forefathers fought for our country right and we're doing a minute silence for the people that lost our lives for our country but I'm just thinking I'm trying to think of them and all the shit they've done but I'm going that left back's a cunt I've played against him before no it's just a minute isn't it and then you can go back to thinking that but I can't though you can take a minute surely I'm going right I'm going like this I was going to my back I'm going right You can't stand your back, do you?

43:13Yeah, I'm respectful, right? And I'm trying to look at the floor. I'm thinking of 9-11. Why? You're thinking of Leslie Forget. What's that got to do? No, I'm going to September. You do a minute silence for 9-11 at Sunday League in England. I don't think you do, do you? Well, I definitely did 9-11 at school. Yeah, but now we're talking about Sunday League. I burst out laughing during a 9-11 minute silence, and I couldn't help it. It wasn't because of the awkwardness of the minute. They are so uncomfortable, aren't they? And when you're doing a minute's silence, you never actually think about what they're wanting the silence about.

43:47That's what I mean, I was trying to. No, your brain just goes about anything else. What are you supposed to think about when you're not there anyway? Like, oh, the people who fought for our country. So where does your brain go? Like, you know, the poppies and that, right? So I've got to try and think of Flanders Fields, right? So I'm thinking of flowers. Why are you imposing these rules on yourself? I must think about Flanders Fields. Think of like Saving Private Ryan Or something I do No Don't think about Saving Private Ryan Because that's Tom Fucking Hanks mate Think about The actual people But we can't Because we weren't there We're not seeing them Do you know what I'm thinking of What are you thinking of Like a memorial Yeah Oh Do you know what I mean What are you just thinking No I'm thinking of an old man On a swing chair Outside his house Like with a whiskey That would make me laugh Thinking What In the deep south of America that's gone through a load of shit yeah I can't I think I swear during Minute Silences my brain's just like I'll just start going I need to do shopping in a bit yeah I do that you can't I'm there of course you can I'm looking at the floor going 18 nuggets mental that's what I'm thinking well that is I'll think about that next time as well next time you do Minute Silence think of my arteries they'll need a Minute Silence yeah what are you talking about the dance and plague No one really knows why it happened.

45:08No, Stevie, how long have we done? We've done one story. Yeah, I'm trying to let you know about it. Thank you. Okay, we'll just move on then. No, no, I want to hear the ending. No. Don't be polite. No, please. They don't know why it happened. It always ends like this. You're making me lose it. I'm so sorry, everyone. It always ends like this. It says such outbreaks take place under circumstances of extreme stress and generally take form based on local fears. In the case of the dancing plague of 1518, it was cited that there was a series of famines and the presence of diseases like smallpox and syphilis being the overwhelming stresses affecting the residents.

45:45Syphilis can make you boogie, can it? It's stressful. They're all so stressed that they're just like, they can't stop themselves. Has it happened more recent then? What's the most recent one? Gangnam. I don't know. There was an earlier one. There was an earlier one in 1374. Oh, so why have we gone in for the 15 one? Because 1518 is the bigger one. That's the main boy. That's the blockbuster. Oh, okay. Was there anything interesting about 1374? It was written about in a book by a fellow called Justice Friedrich Carl Hecker called Black Death and a Dancing Mania, and they called it the St. John's Dance, and he said, they formed circles hand in hand and appearing to have lost all control over their senses, continued dancing regardless of the bystanders for hours together in wild delirium.

46:31Scary. Maybe that's when they discovered MDMA. That would kind of explain it all, wouldn't it? That makes you dance for hours. Drugs, does it? I've heard.

46:41Rumours say. Yeah, let's move on to the next one. You dance quite a lot, don't you? At festivals and that. For ages. That'd be the drugs, mate.

46:53Okay, we'll move on from dancing to something you guys will care more about then. Okay. we're going to come forwards again to 1938 this one's titled the Halifax Slasher oh yeah got you back in haven't I I'm already pitching in that fella from the adverts you know the black fella with a short fella what was his name Harold Harold was it Harold yeah the guy who used to surf on the Halifax oh with the glasses yeah he was in the office he's on the he's brilliant yeah what Howard Howard Right, so I'm picturing him. Probably don't. Just 1938. Alright, I'm picturing him. No, do picture him, it's funny.

47:34Him as a fetus. He wouldn't be. Okay, so this event, this was an England one, in Halifax in England, November 1938, following a series of reported attacks on local people, mostly women. Bloody hell. Why are you laughing? It's just funny. Yeah, yeah. It's a right reaction, wrong reaction. Yeah, Giggles McGee over there. I was thinking about his intestines again. Intestines? What did you say we had to think about? My arteries. Arteries. Your intestines can't be great either. No, obviously not. Straight to it. The week-long scare began after Mary Gledhill and Gertrude Watts claimed to have been attacked by a mysterious man with a mallet and bright buckles on his shoes.

48:21Five days later, Mary Sutcliffe reported an attack on herself. Reports of attacks by a mysterious man with a knife or a razor continued, and the nickname, the Halifax Slasher, stuck. The situation became so serious that Scotland Yard was called in to assist the Halifax police. Vigilante groups were set up on the streets, and several people, mistakenly assumed to have been the attacker, were beaten up. Business in the town was all but shut down. Rewards for the capture of the attacker were promised, and reports came of more attacks in nearby cities. The panic spread so much that vigilante gangs were roaming the streets of the town and after Hilda Lodge was attacked, Clifford Edwards, a local man who had gone to help, was later accused of being the slasher himself.

49:05Is Hilda Lodge a place or a person? A person. Right. She should open an Airbnb. Yeah, I'd go. Not after what's been happening. So Clifford Edwards was then, everyone thought he was it, so a mob gathered outside his house. What was his name? Clifford Edwards. and people started chanting for his death and police had to actually help him get home and stuff. So people are getting slashed up. So I've got a timeline of events. 16th of November, Mary Gledhill and Gertrude Watts claimed to be attacked by a man with a mallet. Five days later, on the 21st of November, Mary Sutcliffe claimed to have been attacked.

49:39Three days later, 24th of November, Clayton Aspinall reported an attack. The day after, Percy Waddington was attacked. Same day, Hilda Lodge attacked and Clifford Edwards was attacked by a vigilante mob. two days later Beatrice Sorrell reported an attack the same day Fred Baldwin attacked by a group of drunken vigilantes and on the 29th Margaret Kennedy claimed an attack by a well built man with a broad face wearing very lightweight shoes and what felt like a dirty Macintosh like a dirty trench coat worn by a flasher broad face lightweight shoes broad face could be me according to my taxi driver and Mary Sutcliffe reported a second attack and Winifred McCall claimed to be attack Attacks in Manchester and Bradford were also reported.

50:22So this is all over from the 16th of November to the 29th of November. Okay, so 13 days. Loads of people getting attacked. Good maths. Thank you. Well done. Then, on the evening of the 29th of November, Percy Waddington, who we'd just heard had been attacked, Made up name. admitted that he'd inflicted the damage to himself. Oh. Other people who had been attacked then started to make similar admissions. and Scotland Yard investigation concluded that there was never any slasher attack and five local people were subsequently charged with public mischief offences and four were sent to prison. What, for slashing themselves?

50:58Oh my gosh. And getting the police, like convincing the police to... For attention? Yeah, all these vigilantes. As soon as one person had done it, other people started... They would have probably seen the first person get it. Yeah. That poor man got beaten up. Not Howard. Why are you saying Howard? What the hell do you want? Why are we back there? Why are we back there? She's the guy that they thought were doing it. Isn't it? Do you want to tell it again? So three days later, the Halifax Courier, their local newspaper, ran a story. Carry on, Halifax. The slasher scare is over. The theory that a half-crazed, wild-eyed man has been wandering around, attacking helpless women in dark streets, is exploded.

51:39There never was, nor is there likely to be, any real danger to the general public. There is no doubt that following certain happenings, public feelings has grown and that many small incidents have been magnified in the public mind until a real state of alarm was caused. This assurance that there is no real cause for alarm, in short, no properly authenticated wholesale attacks by such person as the bogeyman known as the slasher should allay the public fear. Halliflax had suffered from slasher attacks before. Oh, that's the end of that. And then Halliflax had suffered from slasher attacks. He still did it in the voice.

52:10Stayed in the bit. Stayed in the newspaper bit. I only put a one-line gap. Should have done a double-line gap. We're all caught up, baby. We're all caught up. Sorry. Damn it. Halifax had suffered from slasher attacks before in 1927. James Leonard was convicted of stalking and slashing the clothes of six women in the town. Just the clothes. Attacking the clothes? Yeah, like slashing, ripping their clothes. Could have been a moth. That's a good name for the attacker, isn't it? If they just attack clothes. I might do that into the dumbo. Don't say you're going to attack, rip women's clothes. I didn't mention the gender of the women.

52:49It was women's, was it? Please be men's. Thank God it was women's. Why do you want it to be women's? Because then I've just made up in my head that it's women's and I'm having these weird... What? Also, why is it worse? Do you need me to contact Uber support, mate? Yeah. Can I also ask why it's worse for him to rip women's clothes than to kill people, take their ears off and make one giant ear? Oh, you're killing them, are you? I would kill the women if I did that It depends what route I'm going to go down Whether I'm going down Dumbo Whether I'm going to be the moth Okay, Dumbo kills, moth doesn't Dumbo kills, slashes the ears off, makes big air The moth just goes up to Women, I'm sorry That's my MO It doesn't have to be though Because you haven't done it yet That's what this character is in my mind And slashes a little bit of the dress off Keeps that as like a memento Which bit of the dress?

53:41Oh, any bit. It doesn't need to be a specific bit. Side bit, a little bit here. Like that. Seems like you're trying to... What? See naked women. I'm taking like a little square inch of it off. What are you doing with it? Just making a quilt out of it. All your things are taking little bits and making big bits out of it. No matter what you can't. Well, by the end of this episode, I'll have my serial killer emo down. It would be quite creepy if the moth then went around in the quilt with all the bits of like a cape. It would make it clear who's doing it though, wouldn't it? Yeah, but Jack the Ripper had that.

54:17Make a mask. Make a mask. Out of bits again. Yeah, obviously. Same issue. But it needs to be like a moth mask. Yeah, but they won't know who it is because your face is covered. I know, but they'll go, let's just arrest that bloke who's covered in patches. Yeah, true. Yeah. I want to go, I want to blend in. So day to day, I'll just be a normal guy doing podcasts. Yeah. In the evening. Why are you sniffing it? Don't sniff it. You've not sniffed it until now. There's literally no point in sniffing it. That wasn't your MO until now. You've now added that. What are you even smelling now? Nine on. But it's just from there.

54:51Look, it's not going to smell of anything. I don't care. I don't want it to smell like them. I want to smell the clothe. You could go to the shops. Just buy a dress. Not as adrenaline. Yeah. All right. We'll put a pin in that. Yeah. Pin in that one. The mask. It's not quite complete, the idea. The final bit of the Halifax slasher was this fella got arrested for slashing the clothes of six women in the town. He was given a six month sentence. However, he was quickly ruled out of the 1938 attacks on account of his large nose, which none of the 1938 victims had ever described. Oh, wow. So he did go to prison in 1927.

55:29But then when the Halifax slasher stuff happened 11 years later, they were like, probably him again. Yeah. And they've got no massive nose. God, it was easy to get away with crimes back in the day, wasn't it? Yeah, poor DNA. Yeah. Did he have a big nose? No, can't be you then. You've gone, wow. Yeah. Wow. Fair play. No, again, it's not fair play, is it? He didn't do it, did he? We did the first one. Oh, did he do the first one? Yeah, but he's the inspiration for the moth. He's the OG. He's the OG. So you've got to give plaudits to the first set. So if anything, you said you want to create something new.

56:01So I think Dumbo's better than the moth because you are stealing this fella's idea. Did he make a quilt? No. But then with the Ed Gein thing, he did make lampshades with nipples and stuff on. So is that not the same as your Dumbo is? Okay, Dumbo's front runner for now. Okay. We'll do two more of these and we'll see where we're at. Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar and vitamins, Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. Brussels clean up nicely at Sweetgreen.

56:36Maple glazed, roasted, and edges perfectly caramelized. Sweetgreen's fall harvest is back on the menu, and the season's most overlooked little green vegetable is dressed to be devoured. You know what to do. Order on the Sweetgreen app. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports.

57:16Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. Okay, next one. So what have we had? We've had the Dancing Plague, Killer Clowns, and the Halifax Slasher. now we're going to talk about the meowing nuns oh i love cats and i love nuns so for a wild ride how are your onions all right great yeah great just the same same onions same in the fridge yeah how's your onion perfect lovely not seen her in three days missing her oh went on the ring door bell this morning when i woke up in my hotel she sat outside my house can you not knock around the persons we don't know where the person lives mate we don't know where the person lives i'm just gonna go on the ring doorbell now mid podcast and see if she's out there do you worry yeah sometimes there's a chance there's a chance she's outside the front of your door now thinking they don't love me anymore no oh my god go home she stays around now all night is that okay i'm not sure that is okay that's not your cat what do you want me to do i open the door and i go get out Yeah.

58:23And she doesn't. You pick it up. Yeah, no, no, no. You can, no, that's not okay. I'm so sorry, mate. I don't want you to, I don't want to ruin it for you, but I just really think that's not okay. I can't help it. I don't think that's okay. You massively can help it. She stays over. But my mum. No, I know, but that's a cat, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. But my mum, every night, she'll make sure the cat's in before going to sleep. There's a chance the owners are going, why is cat not sleeping? But the cat, the owner has our number. I thought you said you don't know who the owner is. The owner knows who we are.

58:53Why not give him a text saying she's round again? Just in case you're worrying. She stay. Can she sleep over? That's the only text. I reckon put the cat out. The owner called us when we put the... So I told this story, didn't I? Yeah. We put the paper collar on. Yeah, so you have owner's number. It went back, yeah. The owner called us, the brother of the owner, and went, yeah. Brother, not actual. Brother might not have ever said anything. Well, the brother's a fucking idiot then. Because we tried to get in contact with this. we want to know why I think put new paper collar on spoke to brother we open our door cat is there every time every time feeding it we weren't feeding it we haven't been feeding it for the last few weeks so it's been over starting yeah what for 24 hours it's there and you don't feed it mate it will come in so say I get this is what will happen we'll get back from the pod today yeah 7pm 8pm right we will park up walk to our front door cat will come from somewhere from bush or something we'll come we'll go right Let it in for a bit.

59:52Stroke it, whatever. Me and Fee will go up to bed at 11. Open the door. Go on. Go on. Go out. Go out. No, don't want to go out. All right. I'll wait there two minutes just watching it. Won't go out. Can you not? I've tested it. If I pick her up, put her outside, she'll just turn around and come back in. So I just go, right, shut the door. Go to bed. Cat will run up, lay on our spare bed. No, that's not right. This is what it does, mate. I don't believe that a six foot four man cannot put a cat outside the door. I can physically. Yeah. But you don't want to. Emotionally. Yeah, exactly. You don't want to.

1:00:27Yeah. You're stealing cat. I'm not. Maybe that's your thing. Yeah, but you can't make one giant cat. I'm the catnapper. I'm the catnapper. Wow. You like that? Yeah. I steal cats. And look after them really well.

1:00:48Oh, anyway, right. The meowing nuns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where we were. Right back to reality. That bit's so much more fun.

1:00:59No, no, it is good, though. We need that bit. That's the... We have our little bit.

1:01:09We do need this bit, though, because otherwise it's... Can you just plan the next episode? No. Read and... It's my fault. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, that's why I'm saying you plan the next episode. No, because I would just do this to my own episode. That's fine then. I don't care if you do it to your own shit. How about next week's main show, right? Let's throw this on him, right? Next week's main show, we just let Alfie just take the conversation. No planning, no planning. We'll go into it and we'll see if we pad an hour out. Can I just ask, and I don't mean to break the fourth wall, do you mean one we're going to record straight after this?

1:01:44Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which they will hear next week. You are doing a next episode. There's going to be that one fella on Spotify. Shane Duffy 69. That guy is ruining my fucking life. Because he's a horrible fucking bastard. And I hate him. Because everything I do, he's so horrible to me. But is it not better? There was a time, I never looked at people's usernames yet. And I remember we texted about it recently. Yeah. But there was a time where I was reading like negative comments about myself and I think fucking hell like this These people hate me and then I went back after you told me it was always the same person to you And I was like oh fuck it's always the same person Yeah, so now I was just like I was fine if it's one pass and he's just a wanker No, I want him to like me so much Who cares?

1:02:30Me! So he's On Spotify, he'll put a comment and if it doesn't get any reactions he will delete it and put a fucking nasty one Have a look at every episode I've watched Well, then what we'll do? I had a terrible day and I read a comment from him and it said like, I cannot stand Alfie, he's so miserable. And I was just looking at it like, oh God, he's fucking right. Right, so I'm on the, right, so last one you were on, Christmas special. So fucking hell, man. Do you know how many comments we got on that, on Spotify? That's just me and John hating each other though, wasn't it? 239. Wow. And the top one is, why is Stevie being a prick to John all that?

1:03:12Because I hate him. And then somebody put, because John's everything Stevie wishes he was. I don't know why I read that. More offensive. Oh, mate. I like John. John messaged me and was like, I don't know if I need to apologize. I know, he said. Because some people were saying I hate him and some people going, oh, he's a prick to Stevie. I was like, we like each other. Sorry, boys, to do this mid-podcast. I know, because I've read the Reddit about that. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know how much people are saying this. Oh, they went madden on it. Mate, hang on. there's a comment here with 42 reactions right i cannot believe they put this one out unbelievable amount of tension that just made it look a very bad look for everyone john was making jokes that were so personal and he's clearly not close enough with stevie to make them defo needs to learn to read the room what are you talking about you idiot sorry you're an idiot like we are in the room right i know john you get on your face the funny thing is is that you guys will make those jokes about me all the time and it's funny and fine and then if I ever bite back I always get a comment going Stevie was a prick and I was like the one time I'll bite back I cannot believe me and John were like that the whole time at your stag we just go at each other because we both find it funny but because I'm not normally like that I think people go what the fuck Stevie must hate John because I don't really do it to you guys Stevie was being so salty within the whole episode which made him look pick up on that neither did I in the game Jack added to this awkwardness finally Robbie was mute for it all Robbie was ill I'm surprised How would people Be able to tell us How we should feel Yeah on the day We didn't realise at all I'll say that now There's definitely 100 % something Between John and Stevie Stevie really has Something against them It's madness How wrong that is I love John It's madness We're not even covering Something up Yeah and also It was after the stag We were talking You weren't even the one Who asked about John Coming on We were talking about it Oh I know We messaged you To be like Should John come on Not Stevie's best ep Was unnecessarily a bit of a cunt here.

1:05:11But that's what I mean, because I never do that to you guys, but it happens to me all the time. The second I do it, they're clearly like, Stevie hates the person. They're so used to me getting the abuse that I can't give it to anyone. Can I say, on my nan and granddad's life, right, on my nan and granddad's life, I did not, for a second, on the day, pick up any kind of tension. I wasn't as high as all the comments. Even if you secretly hated John, right, I would not, I cannot believe it. I'm going to have to listen back maybe I was a prick maybe he was a prick Vee edited the whole episode not once did she go to me oh Stevie's a bit of a prick here one of the things I found funny is that people like Stevie clearly hates John but then John before the podcast started went and bought my gift which was one like a 5XL shirt to basically say I was fat and one was a self-defense book for kids about my childhood he did that before the episode started so clearly there's something that we're both like fine with it.

1:06:10Stevie's in a little bit shine this episode. I'm just not allowed. Some of them are reasonable. Petition to play Stevie with John. I think people are just so used to me getting abused. Go back to one before. Stevie's a useless shit. Go back to one before because you're trying to find a specific one, this Shane fella. Because Alfie, if you're doing the next episode, we should pre-warn Shane now. Probably just skip it. I did a really long reply to him and Ali made me delete it. Really? Yeah. But it was heartfelt. It was just literally being like, please stop. Right. I cannot help. I'm not, I don't go to Jack.

1:06:50Can I come on? Can I come on? No. Jack will ask me on and I love being on. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're part of the podcast, mate. But I'm sorry. Because I... What are you sorry about? He's ruining it. Who gives a fuck what he's got to say? I also think sometimes when people are commenting these things, they almost forget that we are just normal people and it's not like we're not actors on a movie. You're not going, oh, I hate Eleven. She's shit in this scene. It's like we're just us. It does hurt your feelings. Oh, yeah, massively. What's their name? Shane Duffy something. Is it definitely that? Yeah.

1:07:23Oh, have you found another negative one? No, because I think they've changed their username now. Oh, no. Because there's one here from four weeks ago. You know, you remember It's Christmas, but there's a catch that episode. Yeah. There's one here. has got 37 reactions. Right, I don't like that either. No, because they... It looks like 37 likes. Yeah. But it's one like. 30 thumbs down. Four love hearts. Oh, God. Three crying faces, right? And they put any episode with Alfie would instantly be better without Alfie fact, right? But look, that's the username now. Shanifi. Shanifi. I actually think I have dyslexia.

1:07:57That is the one. That is the same. So what is it? Can't Alfie plays for Norwich. Yeah, that's why I've been seeing that. So what is the name? It's Shanifi. So it's S-H-A-N-N-E-F-F-Y-99, Shanafee. But I think what they're doing now... Every episode they do it. Yeah, I think they're doing it now because it's become a thing. But it hadn't become a thing. I've been ignoring it. Now it's become a thing. But let's say I listen to Off Menu, right? If I hated Ed Gamble, I would stop listening to it. Because Alfie's part of the podcast, right? So why would you listen to a podcast in which you hate 33 % of it or 25 % of it?

1:08:32One of the main people, yeah. I don't get it. I don't get it anyway I don't know what that was maybe we can do a podcast like this next week because we have just been talking shit for the last five minutes I am baffled at the John B I cannot I don't know maybe I'll have to listen to it back no you don't need to listen to it back because why do you need to listen to it back no because what you're going to listen to it back and then go turns out I do hate it like you know how you feel is right to end it all me and John have spoken since we both like each other John actually replied to me saying maybe we should just take it up if I ever come back on.

1:09:06I was like, that will be... So if he ever does make a appearance, I'm just going to really go at him. I thought he was brilliant on the episode. I thought he was as well. I thought the happy hour special, the Christmas special was good. I did. I didn't remember the final bits of it, but... Yeah. That is probably the most confused I've ever been about a reaction, a response, yeah. I like him though. Yeah. Yeah. Meow, meow nuns. Feels weird going back into it. You didn't say love though, did you? You didn't say love, so do you... Don't know him that well. Let's finish on meow nuns and then we can do Alfie's week next week.

1:09:35Well, why don't I give... I really don't want to do that. Okay, yeah, meowing nuns. I have, haven't I? One day, a nun living in a convent in France, sometime during the medieval period, began to meow like a cat. After a brief time, other nuns in the convent began to meow with her in unison. The nuns were so loud that the sound carried to the town below, disturbing a residence with bizarre sounds coming from a normally peaceful convent. I thought of another joke. Oh, cool. How many people does it make to make... How many people does it take to take... How many... How many... How many people does it take to make up a convent?

1:10:17Go on. None. Carry on. It's actually good. Surprisingly good. Really good, mate. Is that good? Yeah. Thank you. What was the first good one you did as well? Shit, we said write it down. Uber support. uber support very good I'll write that I've got a little five minutes coming up quickly write both but we also he did try and sprinkle in the Gangnam Style Joke in the middle yeah that's work in progress stuff don't no no that's just gone stuff okay that's not there take that out jokes uber support the Parkinson's one Alf that you did Harlem Shake that works how do you get there though how do you get there well you always have to specifically mention your grandad if not you're just being offensive you can have that if you want I don't want it don't want it because your grandad didn't have Parkinson's Okay, we good?

1:11:00Yeah. After continuing for a number of days, police were brought in to cease the bizarre orchestra and were only able to do so by threatening to whip the offending nuns. The reason the first nun began to meow and why the other nuns decided to join remains a mystery. I want to know if it was a good meow, like a realistic cat meow, or whether she was going meow. Why'd you make it a bit sexual? That's how I imagine it. Go ahead and do a proper one. what like a real one like a real cow like that wouldn't it it's actually quite good wasn't it again I want to see the consistency it's consistent I like that when you meow you're taking out the M you don't think the M's necessary dogs don't go woof woof do they you just get rid of the first like completely I don't do it phonetically how do you moo

1:11:54that was unattractive sorry your face did go with I'm not trying to be sexy when I moo am I no I know but that was that's a good sentence that's gonna get clipped up I'll probably clip that up that's my favourite sentence of the episode I'm not trying to be sexy when I moo chicken no we're not doing this Stephen yeah come on this is you are bucking there yeah you're bucking mate but a chicken doesn't buck does it do Chicken. Yeah, that's how they... What am I doing here, man? I don't know. This is really bad podcasting. This is bad, suck bad podcasting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what we're going to be doing next week.

1:12:35Okay, sorry. That's a good idea. So nuns have been meowing, police have gone, stop it, we'll whip you, they stop. This one follows on from the dancing mania we mentioned at the start, and that Justice Friedrich Carl book, The Epidemics of the Middle Ages. In the translation of that, there's this fella, Benjamin Guy Babington, who wrote, I've read in a good medical work that a nun in a very large convent, France, began to mew like a cat. Shortly afterwards, other nuns also mewed. At last, all the nuns mewed together every day. What? You said that? Mew? That's how it was written in a M-E-W. Mew?

1:13:13What, is that like the fast tense of meow? I think maybe back in the day, they might have just said mew. This is like the 1500s or whatever, isn't it? I thought cows mew. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. this is m-e-w m-e-w yeah mew so a cat meows but it mewed last week oh yeah I heard my cat mew the other day mew is that it? is that what's going on here? I'll carry on it's just the book yeah so they all started doing it and everyone heard it basically don't need to read too much about it the only thing on this is there's a possibility that the Zimmerman fella from the medieval dance book made the whole thing up.

1:14:01But we don't know. There's no proof that he did, but he did put a specific book in this book. Right. That sounds like he said this and then he's created this story to make this feel like a fact. Right. So he wrote on page 211 of Solitude, The female mind is still more subject to these delusions of disordered fancy for as their feelings are more exquisite, their passions warmer and their imaginations more active than those of the other sex. Solitude, when carried to excess... My old day Andrew Tate, I think. Solitude, when carried to excess, affects them in a much greater degree. So he's... So we don't know if the original meowing came from him just creating this whole story to be like, women.

1:14:51Yeah. They do that. Yeah. So, but then other things, it's all over. I'm sorry, I don't know. This meowing nun story is everywhere. If you search it, everywhere states it as if it's definitely a thing. Yeah. But on one of the pages I read, this person's gone into the Zimmerman book and said, there is a chance, based on him saying this, he's then created the story. But there's a chance. Is it happening now? Meowing nuns? Yeah. No. So one one meowed then another one did and then they all started The whole convent started meowing together Were they just doing it as a prank? Well they did stop when the police went stop it or beat you up Oh did they?

1:15:31Yeah well according to the story Police brutality now It's the worst one then that story isn't it? Because they were just doing it for a laugh weren't they? Well we don't know there's not enough to be The issue with some of them is because they're so long ago Like as I said with the dancing one it's so long ago We've got so many different stories but then over the last 500 years since it happened, has someone taken the original story, like an urban legend, where they've kind of done it and then as time's gone on, people have added their own bit. Maybe. So it's hard to say exactly what happened.

1:16:00Like, did 400 people actually dance in this plague? A lot of these stories are like one person doing something unusual, loads of people joining in. Yeah, so they're mass hysteria. Because you have the slash thing saying, oh, I didn't get slashed, I slashed myself. Then you had the dancing, you had the clown thing. These are just people. There must be like a mental condition. We all do it in everything, though. I watched TikTok the other day being like, what happened if everyone tomorrow just refused to pay their mortgage? Just like, I'm not doing it. What if everyone did that? In the whole world.

1:16:33Just collectively just went, we're just not going to do mortgages now. What would happen? That's what I mean. Are we all... This is going to get deep now. Save them for next week. Save them. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is the kind of stuff Deep ep Alfie's deep ep Okay Indra deep or something I don't know I'll think of something Genius Indra and everything Yes Yeah Introspective thoughts Because you always tell me I'm clammy I respect that But you still went for the Yeah Yeah He doesn't judge me for it He just calls me out on it Yeah So yeah They're all known as like A mass hysteria Yeah All of these are Yeah And the only other one I had was also another kind of form of that.

1:17:16Right. I won't even read it. I'll basically tell you what happened. There was one called The Mad Gasser of Mattoon. Right. And this is the only one that... Me after eating 80 nuggets. Just have to be... Write it down. So The Mad Gasser of Mattoon was one in Mattoon in America. And there was like this woman, I'm just going to be so weird just saying my memory of it rather than... Just riffing on The Mad Gasser. we're done with it aren't we it's like this person we're not done with it we're done with it but basically this woman's laying in bed and she hears like a noise in her house and then she wants to go and check on her sister but she can't because she feels like she's stuck in bed and she can't move at all and she can smell this weird odour and then over the next like week loads of people start saying they can smell this odour and it starts like making them not be able to move and they're like getting like paralyzed from the waist down and it just keeps happening all over town and then one woman goes home and sees like a cloth outside her house that's like the first time they've found proof of this thing happening and when she smelled the cloth her face all swelled up and it made her um feel paralyzed from the waist down and then someone found a skeleton key which looked like it had been used and people kept thinking this person had basically been going into people's houses or setting odors into people's houses to paralyze them um like a chemical of some sort so that then they could rob them but no one got robbed none of this stuff happened and it got to a point where um they released a statement just basically going it didn't actually happen no one's felt any of this and then it just stopped once they said it didn't happen and like no one's been doing this but even now no one knows if it was mass hysteria because none of these people have come out and said no i i just felt that they've genuinely it's like the nocebo thing it genuinely they felt like they couldn't move because they've heard someone else has smelled something and then in one statement they thought there's a chemical plant down the road that maybe people were starting to smell and then it was just getting in their heads they smell something weird and then go oh fuck i'm paralyzed right because that's what's meant to happen to me yeah the dancing they're dancing i have to dance well that's what that's what dynamo talks about and stuff like that when he gets me to move my hand why do you make it sound like he's doing it to you all the time no but when he was on the pod that was creepy yeah but now like time's passed I didn't have any explanation for it but now I'm thinking, did I just do that because he was telling me to do that but I was certain on the day that I didn't do that so that's how they get in your brain you'd know all about that, Brown Derren you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?

1:19:48Brown Derren didn't go down as well, did it? because your voice was all I couldn't hear what you said when white man says it to brown man don't go down as well, does it? it's fine when you say it Yeah, but there we go. But are they? Find out next week. That's my list of strange real life creepy phenomena with Brown Derren. Dumbo. Dumbo. Stevie. Brilliant, Stevie. Do you want a moth? Do you want to be the moth? I don't want to be a moth. Because we all need our sort of killing things, I think. We're the stranger things. Together we're the stranger things. Brown Derren's not a killer. Yeah, he is.

1:20:30He gets in people's minds. Yeah. makes them do the Gangnam Style is that what you do? yeah man not Harlem Shake? no no no I'm Dumbo you can be the Muff I don't want to be the Muff you're the Muff there we go see you next week when Alfie will be don't know yet I'm so intrigued I'm going to go for a win I'm so intrigued I'll sort it out I'll sort it out taking charge of this ship find out will we be doing around the world exploration seeing all different things or will we be hitting a metaphorical iceberg. See you then. Probably that one. Because I'm just going to ruin it like he always ruins mine.

1:21:06Well, he doesn't ruin it. He just calls you out. I added colour for doing... Put an effort. Literally. Literally.

1:21:25Fuck. No.

1:21:33Jack makes happy hour. This episode is brought to you by chat GPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons podcast. Have you guys heard about chat GPT work? It's the new way to use chat GPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give chat GPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans.

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