629 - Nostalgia Part 2! (Corrupt Blue Peter Badges, Controversial Kids TV, & Jaack’s First Time On Crack)

31:18and it was like, could he ever get home? And when we were chatting, we were saying like, what would, if you could, if you were in Quantum Leap, where would you, and it always told you what the next thing was at the end of the episode. You always get a, you see the first thing because you'd leap to wherever it was and then you'd be like, oh my God, I mean, there's dinosaurs around or whatever like that or whatever it is. And then you know where, what the next episode was going to be. We're watching it. We're going, what would you do if you'd go anywhere? And we said, oh, I reckon we'd go to, if I was doing it, I'd go to find, who shot jfk and go and look and go back to that time literally end of that episode bang pops back to jfk getting assassinated we're like what the other coincidence the greatest thing i think i might i might mention before um and the reddit would tell me if i have um but i um i remember um we were talking we just got a new wooden table in our house and i think the old brother just spilt some glue on it or something like that and my mum was telling us off there was this show on the background called love joy which i could um show about antiques and the um my mum my mum said um to this you go look after this table it cost nearly a thousand pounds and then the character on the tv show went a thousand pounds what was um parenting like for you as a kid very lax not strict no but what were you were you still at an age where kids could get hit by teachers at school no you get hit by parents my mum would hit me really yeah a little slap not like where in the face no hand or arse yeah hand sometimes arse not arse why do you want him to be slapped in the arse no it's just like the idea of little Robbie getting spanked fucking hell that is you are non-scod you are non-scod yeah uh no um no just so that that that was occasional um but it was on the way out you know my mom probably should have been going oh maybe i shouldn't be doing this but apparently i was fine with it um at school were you go on sorry i was just what was the question originally strict strict yeah but it was a very like certainly when i got to like 12 and that my mom was a teacher but you'd go um it was like if she if she was still working like on a day when we were off school we just get kicked out of the house for the day so you go like okay i've got to go work out you go and we just you just go and find some friends just wander the street what age is this 12 13 i reckon what why can't you be at home yeah we just go out and just you just want you just go out for the day surely you're safer in the confines of your own home though it was very it was a different time i don't think safety was such a big thing back then no there was it was it was a lot it was different they weren't as large and I've tried to do that with my kids so like letting them go out into the world because I think it's quite good to go and build their confidence and do something but yeah we'd go up and just wander around the streets go and play football go and just you know where everyone lives you just go and knock in their house say you're coming out I think it was kind of fine for us as kids as well it wasn't until like some of the it's been a lot of happiness I'm sorry well it's nostalgia yeah it is but like I think when we until like any like big news things happened of other kids yeah it was kind of okay playing out was the best times of my life i think yeah yeah so good yeah just knocking i remember like calling after my friends all the time you'd always like now if i go around jaws or something i'll text you and be like i'm outside yeah but you didn't have a phone back no but back then you'd actually have to knock or you'd use a phone box 0800 reverse yes always did you have did you ever use 0800 reverse you probably had money there's something you do reverse calls yeah what you do when you do it yeah you know what i say yeah when it says ask your name you said your name you'd have to do the message in there so you'd go so your mum would get a phone call saying this is a reverse call from mom at tesco pick me up no i don't want it yeah i'm gonna charge the two quid or whatever yeah really good yeah i'd always just use the phone box to call and do reverse because you had coins on you to actually pull for anyone but i even i remember calling my friend on his road from there because i felt awkward knocking on the door really yeah everyone's parents you'd not you'd have like say you're like six or seven mates you knew what their parents were like yes i can knock for them they'll be fine yeah i can't knock for them his dad's a cunt yeah yeah yeah and it's weird like why was the dad ever a cunt because if i had a kid now and the kid was knocking around i'd just go you can't come out today mate do you know what i mean but i remember that some of the dads being right cold bastards.

35:59They wouldn't even knock around now though, would they? They'd just message each other. Yeah. You'd just get your kid come down and be like, can I go out? That's a shame, isn't it? Yeah, that feels like a weird little thing from childhood. Do you remember the times where, so like you would meet up with, say, you'd meet up with like James, right? And then you and James would then go to the door, right? And then try and recruit like Michael. Yeah. But do you remember the days when you'd get the first one, James, and you'd knock at all the doors and no one would be about? And it'd just be like, we're just spending our days knocking for people.

36:25But that is the day. god i'm getting flooded did you ever do this might i don't know when this started as a thing so it might have been for you as a kid as well robbie but if you really wanted your friend to stay around you'd go downstairs and do some form of performance for your parents did you never do this you'd like practice come on i'm so i'm so sorry for this cannot wait cannot wait I love you mum I love you mum I thought it was a normal thing I want to love you Cap Please That's so good That would be exactly what we'd do Give us a rendition now we do We'd be upstairs And we'd go She said earlier no one can stay round tonight But I reckon we can win her round So we'd practice and we'd write like a little poem or something that we're going to go down and perform and we'd go, can we, can we, can we have a sleepover tonight?

37:25That's so good. That would work on me as a parent. I thought that was normal. That's cute. Oh, that's so good. I bet your mum's the kind of mum that you could wrap around your finger. Every time. Yeah. Every time. Oh, that's so good. I remember there was a scene in The Simpsons where Bart and Matt and Lisa performed this dance and me and my sister learned it word for word and performed it for my mum and dad. And also... Can you remember it now? No, I'll be able to... If I find the clip after, then I'll bring it. I'll learn it. But I also remember me and my cousin, Rhys, who I speak about a lot in these nostalgia episodes.

38:02I was having a sleepover around his. He had a bunk bed with a removable ladder and we picked that up and we pretended to be the Red Hot Chili Peppers. and we got his mum to come into the room, sit on his bed, and we performed like six or seven Red Hot Chili Peppers. How boring was that for her? Play a record. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we used to, a lot of the time, we'd, because we got computer games. Computers came out. Yeah. Which ones? Started off with the ZX Spectrum 48K, which was like the rubber keys. That's the total memory is 48K. What? Not even a megabyte. Oh my God. What game was on it? I assume game, not games.

38:39Yeah, games. There were a few games, yeah. Snake, you eat one brick. There's Wool that I liked. Horace Goes Skiing, a big part of our childhood. Hungry Horace. Horace and the Spiders. Every game just had Horace in them. It was a big character. There were three games. A trilogy. I've got posts in my house now of Horace. Oh, I've seen it. Yeah. He's got like a poster in his dining room. Can I Google it? What's it called? Horace Goes Skiing was our favourite. Horace Goes Skiing. This. Yeah. He's got that poster. I've got a poster of each. yeah so I've got posters of all three games okay that was a big game we're into the rest is weird looking it looks terrible yeah I mean I don't think it was set up now but at the time it was class right and then Treasure Island Dizzy was a big game we got into it was like an egg and then I think we moved on to an Amiga which is when things started to really kick on I remember I was thinking it was a Commodore Amiga two versions of that but I remember when that came out I remember I was going graphics are never going to get better than this this is like just looking at I know and it was and looking back now it's like the worst thing I've ever seen yeah at the time we were like that's mental FIFA 04 or whatever with Rooney on the front and you're going look how realistic they look now fucking unbelievable I can't believe they've done this how can they make this look better yeah although like I did see a tweet from Rob Kellis the other day who said and I don't play car racing games but he said that they perfected them in like 2018 or something he said you can't get better now oh really yeah just because they look so realistic it looks so good and there was like a clip of like forza or something like that he said they perfected it in 2018 can't get better but then the playstation 6 will come out maybe it won't do you mean it'll yeah yeah every time we say you can't get better it has yeah yeah have you noticed fifa actually looks worse now have you noticed that i saw people talking about this i've not played fifa for about five years but apparently like with the new engine they brought in now they've made it more like a game so the way they run and that are a little bit more animated whereas five ten years ago it was more actually looks like if you put on say fifa 2018 then you put on the last year's one the old one would look more like you're watching a game of football than the new one because of the new it's unnatural now yeah it does yeah one of the first games i played on playstation did you ever play abe's odyssey no i loved abe's odyssey you do that yeah weird and he would fart and stuff wouldn't he yeah yeah yeah it's such a good it's basically like a puzzle game but you're like this little alien trying to escape the slaughterhouse type thing was it i think that's what it was he'd run through it'd be like crash bandicoot wouldn't it you'd run through the but you know he's like a little alien but he'd go like sorry yeah and you had to try and get things to follow you around and stuff we had we had a game we we used to play this formula one game on the amiga and it was basically it was like a it was like the official f1 game i and not particularly into f1 but it was quite big at the time it was on normal tv so you could see it all the time and we were put what we do is the way they did multiplayer is you could have like up to the full amount of people in in an f1 race at 20 odd or whatever that but you'd get a bit of your race and then the computer would simulate the rest based on how you did so we'd have like 10 15 kids in the neighborhood would come around someone's house play this formula one game and you'd get like it would be a full-length grand prix you do all the practicing qualifying all that and then you'd have your bit of the race so you'd drive a bit and it would and at the end it would count down and go like okay going automatic in 10 and you'd get to the end of your bit and then the next person get the control already and it would count down to them joining in that's cool and you do but what would happen is like um if you were doing badly in the race you could then stop trying and just try and take out someone that you wanted to annoy so this person could be winning the race and you go like well yeah it's me right in the race he's got three laps to go and you just turn your car around and face the other way because you could you could take them out and rent them you'd rent your own car but you could just go like this and you'd wait for them like that it was a really tense moment because you'd be coming you the kid's car become running and you'd drive and go oh no he got past me and void it'd be like kamikaze then you'd get to the final lap and you'd be waiting like behind the line behind the lines and there's a checkered flag there and you'd see him come around the corner you'd have to go full belt and the moment if you took someone who's out it was a beginning about to win the race if you took about five yards from the finish line and just destroyed their car it would just come up going so and so is out of the race it was incredible and they get so upset yeah there was a game i remember playing when i was about 15 called burnout do you remember burnout the car game and you would get points for how badly you could smash up your car do you remember that and there'd be one level where it's just a ramp and you just fucking nail it down this ramp to smash it up and yeah it was so destructive and fun that i played a weird one like that called flat out did you ever play that and you'd play darts and stuff there were all these like side games right you'd play darts and you'd have to drive down this thing and then you have to hold the button at the right time to shoot your man out of the window into the dartboard oh wow and you could do like darts you could do bowls and all these different versions of the game and that was very like when you actually did the races it it was very like crashy destroy cars we do quite a lot of we added like a tape player and we'd record tapes we had a microphone and we'd record like football commentary on games so if you had like a one player game like there's a game called player manager where you were like the player manager you could divide that up into three people so one person be the player one person be the manager and one person be the commentator so i've actually found i think i've got tapes at home somewhere of me as a kid commentating on these football games you'd film them would you no it was all tape audio tape so we'd be recording we'd be doing this but I remember one day we were at my friend Mark's house and I was commenting on this thing and I remember years later we found this tape and it was so funny I don't think I've got this one but Mark and his younger brother Byron were arguing they were playing this game and then one of them scored one of them would celebrate and then it descended into them having a proper scrap in Mark's bedroom and like that and the commentary goes from commenting of the game to come together and the fight goes Mark's got Byron and just talking about all they're doing like Byron's hitting back in the face on this I remember this bit this live I'm getting really excited like our our our generation's Aguero moment which I'm coming in and goes and Mark is shaking Byron's head around and slapping it and we got some really early audio audio editing software we made like a song we just went we sampled okay I'm Mark shaking Byron's head around and slapping it And Mark's shaking Byron's head around and slapping it and made this dance song to it.

45:16Oh, that's good. So good. Do you remember Pandemonium, the game on PlayStation 1? No. It was like a jester and a woman. They would run around these trees. I remember my mum would always go, take me to this house. This is so bleep. In the game? No, in real life. She had a best mate whose daughter and son we were mates with, but the mum and dad were crackheads. They would smoke crack. So I would go round there and I would go in this room and it would be like a horrible dingy little flat and I'd be playing pandemonium, which I really liked. But I must have been having crack. What? What? Because I remember I'd always feel ill when I was playing pandemonium, right?

46:02So what I'm trying to say is I'd only go round there because I wanted to play the game. And obviously my mum wanted to just do whatever she was doing. Crack. so i would be in this room i remember it always being really dark in this house and really smoky and crack has a very specific smell to it you hotboxed crack i must have done but i remember i would be playing pandemonium liking it but then feeling really ill crack so every time you've done crack i've done secondhand crack yeah i reckon i probably have like genuinely i'd only thought of this a few years ago when me and my sister were talking about it i was like oh because i said to I went, why did that gaff always stink?

46:39And she was like, that's crap. Pandemonium wasn't even a game. TV wasn't on. You definitely fucked on crack. How old were you when you were on crack? I was probably about seven or eight. Wow. Yeah, I remember where the house was. I remember, I vividly remember it. And I, so that's my earliest memory, isn't it? To on crack. Yeah, respect. Shit. Yeah. Yeah, they're no longer with us. What? They're no longer with us. The adults? The mum and dad, yeah. Kids are all right? Yeah. I don't know. I think they're pretty screwed up. They would be, wouldn't they? Yeah. Sad times. Sad times. Sad nostalgia.

47:18Yeah. Did you have any, like, toys from when you were a kid that were really well known? Like, massive. Oh, Transformers were fucking huge. Oh, were you big on that? Yeah, big into Transformers. Really? Yeah, and you had all these things. I always wanted the one. There's one with a cassette. and it was like but you could open the cassette player because cassette was like good technology at the time but there were other Transformers that were the tapes these little bird things they'd fold down and you put the things into the cassette player and I always wondered I never had that I had Optimus Prime that was good Optimus Prime Optimus Prime I thought you said Optimus nope yeah we couldn't afford the proper Transformers we had one of the market the bootleg ones I did get my mum did get me a Liverpool shirt from the market that we had to sew on the Liverpool badge yourself I remember you saying about it that is quite bleak that's not going to make me cool school um now it'd be quite cool like you could imagine people wearing that like in shoreditch yeah maybe but that wasn't really the vibe in 1980s shepi no um so uh what were you talking about toys transformers were big he-man was quite big he-man cartoon do you know he-man yeah yeah like he had sort of very straight hair like they had a helmet or like body armor big Big Muscle Man.

48:29Big Muscle Man. And then the baddie was Skeletor. Ah, okay. I think I am sort of worth. And then there was She-Ra, that was the girl spin-off of He-Man. Oh, right. She-Ra. Yeah. There was also, what was big? Fraggle Rock was a big show, but that wasn't really toys. Do you remember? Do you ever heard of Fraggle Rock? I can't remember the actual words of the theme tune. I can remember the tune because there was a different version of the theme tune that had rude words that we were singing in the playground, which were, down at Fraggle Rock, grab a fraggle by the cog, swing him round your head, till the fuck is dead.

48:59So that was the tune but I can't remember what the actual lyrics of Fraggle Rock was. That sounds like a Chelsea FC tune. It does a bit, yeah. So that was, those are these little puppet things a bit like mini Muppets and they lived on a rock and stuff. Fraggle Rock, I didn't know that was a thing but I've heard it because it's a thing now on TikTok to mean something else. Yeah. Oh, okay. What do you mean now? Well, do you know that Danny boy that I watch? Who's that guy who got beat up? Yeah. He's a druggy. Yeah. he always falls out with people because he's a bit of a wrong one and when he meets a new character now they'll go well that's what they call him they call it our new character in the Danny in the Danny sphere he'll meet another and they'll go give it two weeks before they're sent to Fraggle Rock because that's just their thing they say so in two weeks time this character Danny will fall out with them and there'll be no more and he'll be calling them a nonce or whatever and they'll be they've been sent to Fraggle Rock does that sound like the TV show Fraggle Rock was a remote rock was it yeah so that might be I can see why you said that I thought they were just making up that word like oh it's a thing but it's that I'd have loved to have gone to Fraggle Rock as a kid oh really should you meet all the Fraggles yes please is a Fraggle like a like a weird guy a little puppet thing a bit like a mini Muppet loads of them that makes so much sense by these guys I love the internet so much yeah it's good isn't it Smurfs were quite big oh yeah Yeah, we play Smurfs a lot.

50:24Yeah. Play like, I'd normally be handy or brainy. There'd be different things. Is that what they were called? Names like that. Like the toys. You're playing with toys or you're being with Smurfs? No, we're being them. We're acting out as Smurfs. Oh, I'd have to be Papa. My ego wouldn't let me be anyone but. Yeah, I was never really into Papa. My friend Arthur was always Smurf X. She was the girl. There was only one girl. Why was there only one girl? In Smurfs? It's a bit Bonnie Blue, that, isn't it? Literally Blue. Yeah, well, there you go. yeah maybe that's first you got a name wonderful so yeah I don't know why there was anyone I think Smurfette came later I think they were only boys and then they brought in Smurfette and it was like oh right girl in town not really she was cartoon blue thing it was tiny I bet you were Wombles weren't you Wombles were Wombles were around yeah but they were a bit earlier there was a few things that were a little bit preemie Wombles were around we see a bit of Wombles but it was on this way out Bagpuss Bagpuss was around yeah like Bagpuss yeah didn't mind Bagpuss what's the one with the what's the one with the mice on the moon clangers clang no that's wrong button moon button moon was big when i was little yeah that was like uh like little mice on the moon and stuff like that i think yeah it's a different time i've got i've can i push i want to get onto my prop right okay so so when we were when we were younger my nan bless her who was basically like my mum, she would take me and my four cousins, there was five of us, every week on a Sunday, we'd go somewhere cool, right?

51:55So we'd go to like Yarmouth in the arcades, we'd go to like Pettit's Adventure Park, we'd go to the Dinosaur Park, we'd go to random places every Sunday. And one of our favourite places to go were Hemsby, we'd play bingo in the Hemsby, and what would you get when you won? Bingo wins. Yep, I used to play that bingo all the time, loved it. Yep, so you'd get your bingo wins, you'd collect them. Now tell me now, right, and bless my nan i don't think she vetted what we were buying so this isn't on earth but i would buy i've spoke about this on the pod before but i've actually got them this time i would buy bad taste bears have you ever heard of these yeah i remember them yeah i'd see them in shops yeah i'd be a 10 year old or a 12 year old or a 13 year old not an 11 year old never an 11 year 11 i was very straight now i would buy these and i would have them on my shelf at home why have you still got them because I love these.

52:44I love them, right? So, like, look, some of them, they've not been very looked after. I used to think these were fucking cool, right? And I think they are because they're, like, hand-painted and shit. Are they? I wouldn't have thought so. I cannot imagine those are carefully painted by hand. At the price point, you're getting them. It is cool, right? So have a look at this one. Describe what these are, Stephen. So this first bear is a zombie bear who's broken out of a grave. Yeah, it is. And it says, here lies your body of George aged 65 years old and then you can't and it's what the hell November 18th 1604 and it's a bear whose fur and skin is being ripped off and you can see his bones through it and he's got no pupils because he's a zombie right yeah so the idea of these are like they're a little bit edgy so they're like your teddy bears that have gone a bit rogue teddy bears are obviously meant to be cute yeah right Right.

53:38So there's a spin on this, right? So I would bring home one of these every month I'd bring home and I'd add these to my shelf. So I'm going to show you some of the sort of lighter ones first so you can get an idea of what these are. So this one, Robbie, can you explain that to the listeners? This is a bear. It works in a fast food place and it's holding a burger and it appears to be spitting into the burger. Yeah. And then obviously you've got Vicky Pollard. like this is a sort of stereotypical chav she's she's wearing a pink bra with a with denim skirt and trainers it says see you later on the phone she's blowing bubble gum she's got a ciggy on the go right so these are the kind of things i bring home now you got like the cool that was one of my favorites but i have broke it a pirate yeah pirate like that one don't stand anymore i've broke it so you got this one right so you could get duo ones these obviously cost uh double so like one of them's sneezing and the other one's covered in in in green snot nice yeah now i think there's there's time to let's bring this up a little bit right so this one was the star wars special okay right darth vader nice what's the old one he's holding a dildo he's holding a dildo darth vader holding you're bringing this home i'm bringing this home putting these on my shelves i'm about 10 is that definitely a dildo that's definitely a dildo he's meant to be a bit of a gimp yeah Yeah, it's a dildo.

54:58Oh. That's what dildos look like back in the day. Okay. Right. I don't know what's going on with this one. What's that one, Stevie? So this is... It's a guy who's been sent to the guillotine. So he's been sent to the guillotine. He's wearing the mask of the person who's going to do it. Oh, he's the executioner. He's the executioner. And rather than putting another bear's head through it, he's put his knob through, ready to pull the rope. So the guillotine comes down and cuts his knob off. cut his own dick off that is one kinky bear yeah he doesn't look happy about it but he's willing to follow through no no bear have a look at that okay you've handed me what does that look like a bit of metal with a penis on the end of it because that's for the operation it's a game of operation but you can you've got the penis to put back into the area in the middle You can cut off a bear's penis in the game.

55:53Yeah. Why am I bringing... Look, this was one of my favourites as well. The bricks broke on it. I'm gutted they're all a bit broke. Maybe I'll try to fix them one day. But look, look at this guy. He's got a sack full of kittens and he's holding a brick. Oh, he's going to drown the kittens. He's going to drown the kittens. Oh, my word. I cannot believe that I was allowed to bring these home. I like how it started with, oh, this is a zombie. Yeah. What's that one? This bear is getting sucked off by his hoover, Robbie. or are you fucking hoover this one's fucking a sheep

56:27you really are can i just say joe the showmanship in the order in which you're bringing these out is spectacular you are ordering it really well and i like um i like how many you won i've got fucking loads here mate honestly um there's that that is probably as bad as they get that was one of my favourites I don't know why it was a Halloween special oh he's just carved a pumpkin pumpkin out of his own belly oh wow there you go but we're sort of regressing a bit now this was like the poster boy for it horny devil oh right got a raging boner he's got a boner it's a bear with a boner essentially that one in a devil's suit in a latex devil's suit you're probably thinking nothing wrong with this one it's just Superman massive cock there that's so unnecessary that is a big penis on the suit it's big boy that is so unnecessary Necessary.

57:17Yeah, it's good because you can look at it first. Oh, no, no, no. It's got a bear with a massive cock. I was allowed to bring that home as a 10-year-old. Yeah. The sheep one. Yeah, that is mad. The one who's fucking the sheep and the hoover. They're your most intense ones, aren't they? Guillotine knob is weird. Yeah. That one? What's that? Is that Jesus? Jesus pushing the... Different sort of bad taste, that. Yeah. No, they covered all sorts. Or blasphemous bear. They covered all sorts, mate. Yeah, we've got loads in there. But yeah, that one's an eBay bear and it's just sending its leg on eBay.

57:46Sold its own leg. Yeah, it's got stitches and it's sold it on eBay. So you've got them all covered there. But the reason I bring these in today is I want us to each pick one that will live forever more on this set. So we've got the Horny Devil. Remember that. We've got the Superman. We've got Jesus. Yep. We've got Dracula. Go on, Robbie. I'll let you take first pick. well i mean they're all great call me old-fashioned but a bear fucking a vacuum cleaner just has a certain je ne sais quoi okay that's a mini bear that is a mini bear so you want that one i don't want it i wanted to go on the set yeah yeah what are people gonna think when we next interview a doctor or something yeah sorry you'll probably just get another porn star on won't you okay i'm gonna go for guillotine knob oh okay oh cool yeah that's good yeah right robbie i think i'm gonna have to overrule you are you well but this is a big one and this is a little one oh honestly man i don't give a shit okay can i pick a different one then yeah can i pick the one that's in there because when i first saw it does look a little bit like he's spitting semen into it so yeah and i'm gonna go for i think i'm gonna go for this one drowning the kittens drowning the kittens fair enough okay let's put all the other ones back and then we can leave these three on the desk for the rest of this episode yeah and we'll put them on the set so they were my bad taste bears and i got fucking loads of them bless my nan by the way the amount of money she must have spent not just on me yeah that was always like that not just on me but all of my cousins to for me to have yeah just the bad taste bears imagine the football figures and the stickers and the cards yeah pretty good sometimes aren't they yeah um Brussels clean up nicely at Sweet Green Maple glazed, roasted and edges perfectly caramelized Sweet Green's fall harvest is back on the menu and the season's most overlooked little green vegetable is dressed to be devoured You know what to do.

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1:00:29real design professionals free samples zero pressure right now get up to 45 off with minimum purchase plus get a free professional measure at blinds.com rules and restrictions apply robbie you you grew up pre-internet didn't you yeah so i got the internet when i went to uni and in my head i sort of thought oh you get the internet when you're 18 but i was all kind of new like we sort of went along they went here's an email address this is the internet you go into the computer on what who's giving you an email address uni uni so your uni it would be like uea probably not yeah whatever or not even that catchy it would have been something right around the eight year or something like that and then you could it was really early on because you could like i remember you could go on forums like talk to people from other unis and stuff like that and the end there wasn't you couldn't didn't really buy things on the internet i don't know what we really use it for but also didn't have laptops or computers so you'd go onto campus there'd be a room of computers you'd go in and use the internet so not really you weren't really watching porn so how did you masturbate is that what you're asking no no no no because I was thinking like I'm at an age where we're at an age where the internet was already here but things were getting invented for the internet all the time so I remember Facebook coming in I remember this coming in and you'd get excited at all the new little things coming in like kids today are just going to have it all yeah they do aren't they so so how early pornography yeah we're doing right okay so first of all a major thing you would find pornographic magazines in the woods in the park that's what i've woods or a built or a building site something like that you do who's leaving them there then i do you think that's like husbands are like can't let my wife know i've got that or older kids who've found one not one out in the woods and just left them there maybe um it's like i think they're doing it as a favor they're like leaving it for the next kid Well, we have a theory of the circle of porn.

1:02:26If you ever get rid of magazines, I remember my friends discussing, you shouldn't throw them out. You should go and place them in the woods for the next generation of masturbators. Completing the circle of porn. Building sites, builders are expected to do that. They consume more, they should put more out. So that's fair enough there. But yeah, I think that was the general vibe of it. Then we got Sky TV around the time of Premier League starting. Okay. early 90s yeah um exciting moments right because um it was that was like wow we've found me doing all right that was quite good to have sky yeah that's friends come over territory is it really for sky got lucky with sky yeah that was that was that was quite big but in the evenings there'd be like the they'd be maybe there were like 30 channels or whatever a few of them be like german channels but they're in they're encrypted so you had to have the cards to get them so you couldn't see them but you can sort of make out the lines of like what it was but it was just horizontal lines it was like really blurry you can really see what it was right but you could make out roughly you could go oh this is um this is the littlest hobo but it's in german and you can sort of make out that but in the evening they'd be like porn on these things but but it'd be blurry it'd be like lines so you can sort of make out that there was like sex stuff on them What level of porn is that?

1:03:47I don't really know because it was horizontal lines, but there's definitely like nudity, full nudity. As a young boy, that's enough, isn't it? That'll do. That'll do. You and your friends can watch that and be like, yeah, that's fine. But you're sitting and watching it together. Yeah, but you're not knocking one out. Your honour. Your honour. But you do that, yeah. I remember, do you remember Sex Etra? Sex Etra, yeah. I remember that. That was like a documentary kind of sex thing, wasn't it? That was like an educational one, but it was just to let people watch porn, really, wasn't it? Yeah. Because I remember an episode, again, I've spoken about this on the pod, but I remember an episode that was all about spanking.

1:04:25Yeah. And I don't know why, but I always remember there's a technique. I don't do, I'm 32, but there's techniques in... Never too old to spank, Jack. Well, I grew up thinking, oh yeah, people spank. That's what they do. But I watched this episode and thought, fuck me, I know nothing about sex. But now you do. Well, because they were like, you have to use this part of the hand on this part of the bum. It's meant to go like this. And that was a different time. I was watching it like, what? God, I'm scribbling down notes. What was the other, there was sex, et cetera. What was the Euro one? Euro trash.

1:04:58Euro trash. Yeah, that was a... Is that sex? It was close enough. It was like women with enormous tits and stuff like that. It was close enough to sex to be, to do the job. it was it was it was around that sort of sort of area yeah but yeah when did things like babe station and stuff come in that was early i'd have been an adult when that was in that was like early 2000s and that yeah i never really did it for me no nothing's really happening it's a bit boring yeah even a phone about it's just like it's a bit it's weird in it like everyone can be into whatever they want but you are watching people i clearly don't want to be there Yeah, who's calling that up?

1:05:42We did some sketches with the soccer and girls where we'd phone up Babe Station and talk about, Sheephead would phone them up and talk about other things, like talk about the ashes or something like that. I've seen that. But the worst thing is when you're filming it, it was horrible because you'd phone in, you'd be waiting to go live on Babe Station, but you can hear the guy before you talking to them while he's having a wank. Oh. And it was fucking bleak. So we'd be sitting there going, oh, this is horrible. I remember seeing one guy and he was talking to this girl. this girl's talking to him she's going yeah tell me what's happening and she was going and he's knocking one out and she's going yeah like you're um you're on top of me and he just went no too much effort i got this guy's so unfit you can't even imagine being on top that's how unfit this dude is you can't even think what it would be like his wildest fantasies he can't imagine having the energy to fuck a woman that's the kind of man calling yeah yeah that's the kind of person do you remember like back in the day when you'd have like a flip phone and or like a slide phone or whatever and and you'd get bluetooth to video do you remember that yeah that's the first time i'd ever like owned porn yeah i've never owned on your flip phone but yeah you'd you'd find out someone's got it jimmy from year six oh jimmy is that bluetooth ping me that yeah yeah but you'd get some that That was the first time I ever saw someone get executed as well.

1:07:04I remember in the same week I saw someone get their head chopped off and someone had to get a blowjob. Same person. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Curing. Was it the bear? To be honest, if that was you, you'd want the blowjob first, wouldn't you? Well, yeah. To be honest, I don't think I'd be able to concentrate on it if that was what was happening next. If you knew the head... Yeah. Yeah, no, I imagine. I never... I'm quite... It feels like the internet's a bit more safe now. for the current kids. I don't think there's that many executions going around. Yeah. Compared to your...

1:07:36I think you got the worst of internet moderation. Yeah, we got some. Can you remember the Pain Olympics and stuff like that? I know. Have you seen the article recently of the lad? Yeah, the PTSD one. Yes. Have you seen this? No. So there's a lad who had to go through, like, years of therapy. He got, like, a really bad mental condition because he saw a bad video at school. He saw, like, someone's head get cut off or something like that. Someone got killed in a video. and he's gone viral recently as you can imagine the internet's not been very caring about him but he went viral because he's had to have all this like time off work and stuff but all the internet are doing instead of going oh poor fucker they're just going man up mate I saw this I saw that but my point that I'm bringing this up is everyone saw the same nuts like crazy videos you had the pain Olympics you had three men one hammer That was the one that set.

1:08:31I was gone after that for ages. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. It was vile. I remember seeing that and I just think about it all the time. That's a true crime story, isn't it? I think ICMAP have done an episode on that. Yeah, I don't know if they're Ukrainian. I think I've heard the ICMAP episode on it, but I remember that one trying to go to sleep, just constantly replaying it in their heads. There's no way anyone should see that stuff, let alone kids yeah you had the do you know do you remember Lemon Party no so Lemon Party was an old man I'm pretty sure it was an old man Lemon Party an old man with his knob spinning his knob round and he's gone Lemon Party.com and it would just be that so you spin me right yeah it was around the Blue Waffle era wasn't it yeah Blue Waffle that's a bit more innocent Blue Waffle it was innocent compared to the others because of murder before that's true what was the two girls one cup that's the classic that went yeah I almost threw up at that have you seen that my gag reflexes are not good you say yeah like you're not bothered about that that's day stuff for me oh no sycopedia do you remember sycopedia sycopedia yeah well the jokes the website there was just jokes but like the most horrific jokes I don't know if it's still going that must be a thing now god I've blocked that out for years sycopedia see that's not bad no but it's like wildly inappropriate sycopedia.net I bet when we were kids we were going i can't believe they've written that if you read them now they'd probably go that's shit i bet they're not that bad can i read shall i read you that people are updating them daily is there a way to see the top of all time today all time yeah right i will read you the top three okay highest rated they might have to be cut yeah but what can you see what why would they have to be cut because it depends how it is okay right so in at number three i'm not going to pre-read these no but if they have to be cut they have to be cut yeah yeah just say them now a lot of people think that crop circles are caused by alien spacecraft but i think they are done by serial killers that's fine cereal spelt like the food that's that's shit yeah that's really that's not the sycopedia i remember i was working in my shop when the cashier called me over he said these two guys came in and tried to give me some fake 50 pound notes what did they look like i asked he said 50 pound notes this is not this is not this is sick of peter i reckon they've hottest uh controversial right sorry i was on hottest they were hot right okay 50 pound note joke was good that was good what's the worst part about your daughter what's the worst part about having a daughter with cancer oh my god yeah that is fucking horrific

1:11:20what's the worst part about having a daughter with cancer

1:11:26that was generally the vibe of it though yeah that is fucking rank yeah we'll bleep that um that's what sycopedia was like when i was younger yeah that's more than funny word play oh my god are they really bad no it's people writing that you can't really say anything anymore and people are voting that up we've been messaged by several members unhappy about how the site's being modded oh so i reckon when we were younger anything could go on there then it's been appropriately modded since and you can't i reckon all the jokes we saw as kids probably aren't on there anymore it says guys it's been a fucking good ride we all know this website is not as good anymore a good joke is a good joke imagine just still being into it now though if you're like oh i live for this website but uh right let's do two more of these jokes simon weston is bringing out his own george foreman type grill it's so good he even put his face on it simon weston i'll give you a history lesson here was a british soldier possibly or navy someone someone in the forces who got badly burned in the falklands war in 1982 oh shit oh shit is baddie bent what's blue and doesn't weigh much smurf light blue that's good yeah yeah mix it up that's the good thing about modern day cacopini you never know what you're gonna get I will say the horrible rape one that's got like 80 thumbs up or something and then just under that is blue and doesn't weigh much and that's got two so there's not much being posted to it anymore No, well, there you go.

1:13:07Oh, God. I've brought a prop with me. It's not a bad taste bear, but we're talking a little bit later on in my life. Robbie stops being a child. Robbie becomes an adult. Robbie is 18 and he goes to university. New Robbie. Reinvented Robbie. Good era, Robbie. Child Robbie. Bit scared, bit not very outgoing. Reinvented himself. Clean slate. Much more outgoing Robbie at university. I'd love to see that transition. Well, that's the thing. You don't see the transition because it happens over the summer. It's like, I'm going to go with this. I'm going to be confident now. Fake it till you make it. How did you do that then?

1:13:44Because there'll be a lot of people listening that aren't confident and want to be confident. Do you know what? I just kind of copied Gavin. My friend Gavin was very loud and confident. When we just talked to him, I thought, I'll just do what he does and just did that. Much more confident, much right going. It's difficult though because you can teach people to kind of like be more sort of friendly or be more caring. but confidence is literally like I don't know how to explain it but I don't think you can fake confidence it's doing something I think you literally can fake confidence can you? I think you can and also there's a book I got this is later on we're getting into mentally vulnerable minute territory we didn't do it last episode right it's just fine you can't force mental vulnerability but I still was lacking a bit of confidence and I I bought a book I bought it when I was in Canada it's called The Confidence Course and it is I think it might still be in print now sort of thing and you go through it and it is things that you can do that genuinely does improve my confidence sort of thing and you try it and you realise that these things work because you do it in a little stage like I'm going to do this today it's like it might be a little thing like stand when you go in the room imagine your head's being pulled up and you're more just things like that and there'll be other things try and do this talking to someone and you just follow it through and you go okay yeah this does work and you become more confident sort of thing like that fair enough so mentally vulnerable minute so you go to UEA you've got this new found confidence go to UEA but also what's happening at the same time here it's 1995 it's the start of brit pop blur oasis part life's come out definitely maybe's come out um what's the three morning glories soon to come out so what so what was it before brit pop then what what we grunge probably so nirvana was probably the thing that sort of time obviously there's always a pop band and stuff like that but it was a really exciting time in britain it was sort of everything was changing it's gone from a bit where it was a a bit miserable in the early 80s to sort of quite in the 80s and sort of maybe early 90s to this really sort of positive everyone's excited there's spice girls in the world of pop take that lots lots of good stuff going on but i've brought a music magazine from q um which is from july 1995 so this is very early days and it's got full interviews with oasis this is have a little flick through that well is this a reprint or is this generally this is generally from the time I found it.

1:15:56You've kept it really well. Thank you. I don't read it loads. It's not been loads of damage. So it's got Liam on the front. Oasis, it says Bon Jovi, Rod Stewart, Pink Floyd. Wow. I've had a little flick through. There's a full-on interview with Oasis in it. There's also adverts for cigarettes in there. It's kept really well. I would have been experiencing my second birthday when this came out. Yeah, same. So the adverts in it are really good. There's an article about Boy George. Look at the car that it's advertising. Well, I understand this is not very great for the listeners. We'll try and explain.

1:16:32We'll try and find something that's kind of... Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson had his new album or something like that. A marvellous time. I wonder if there's anyone in here now, right, that just didn't really make it. There will be, won't there? Oh, there'll be loads. Earthling, a band called Earthling. I don't remember them. A band called Drugstore. The Wild Hearts. Wild Hearts did well. Did they? I think they did all right. What's this advert for? whose turn is it to walk the rhinoceros Microsoft I know a pet rhino is rather risky proposition given it weighs 2000 pounds and can run up to 35 miles per hour and has somewhat nasty habit of goring enemies with its horn but as my son will tell you compared to our man-eating great white shark the leaf-eating rhino isn't really all that dangerous no my name isn't Noah and no I don't have a big boat but what I do have is Microsoft off dangerous creatures it's a multimedia program filled with tons of articles pictures narration sound and videos featuring 250 of the wildest creatures on the planet it's up here look it's like a cd rom that you put in your computer just tells you about animals i think the adverts are the best part of this there is literally cigarette adverts in there bon jovi miller beer yeah what's that it's just an album look at the car the bmw my cousin likes classic bmw so i'm to take a photo of that so we can actually add that into the yeah i appreciate this is not very good there's a smoking one there you go the smoking one that's the centerfold isn't it smoking causes heart disease is that against smoking oh it is but they would they were against smoking but they would um but they wouldn't but you could also have adverts of cigarettes you have a pro and against smoking look at this robbie you've even got the ins yeah oh yeah this summer's ultimate music package you get six CDs for£2.50 plus posters and packages what you join there you'd have to be club things you join you get some really cheap CDs and then every month they send you the CD of the month oh wow yeah you've got it all going on yeah a lot of stuff going on but it's interesting here's your Oasis article now but it's of that really early time when they were just talking about falling out and everything like that there was an interview I like the quote from Noel Gallagher if I get a better class of drugs I might fucking play the guitar stood on my head I was like wow that's so cool at that time cool but yeah so good stuff in there but yeah it was quite exciting times best era of your life would you say I don't know it's all good isn't it yeah there's adverts the back are good so here we go this is a music festival is here it's got Pulp Sleeper Shane McGowan Popbleeat itself Bitty McLean yeah Buzz Cooks what music festival was that then?

1:19:16I never heard of that in Leeds I imagine that probably became Leeds festival James Brown a gig Phoenix festival that was loads of festivals festivals weren't as mainstream though to be honest at the time you had to be properly into music to go really it wasn't really something that everyone went to that it is now I love that the festival line up posters haven't really changed much over the years no it's all kind of the same style it's a list of names I guess it works Small ads. I wonder if there's any good ads. Any sex ads is what we're looking at here, isn't it really? No, but fanzines. So what would happen is you'd have to buy, if you're into a band, you'd order a fanzine online.

1:19:53And it'd be just a fan making it, would it? Yeah, so they'd have like, this is a magazine I've made about pulp or whatever, and you send off a cheque for£2 or whatever, and you get this thing through. Oh, wow. They're in magazines and stuff. That's a really cute little community-driven thing that I don't think we have anymore. We probably do. We probably do. Well, I've made a couple of zines up to other people. Yeah? Yeah, but there. but then that was the sort of thing that used to be quite popular now but then also i must have mentioned happy half hour the play by mail thing that i did yeah i think yeah so it was basically football manager yeah because computer games were there if you only play group computer games weren't very well in block options but you'd have this thing where you'd get sent at the start of the week or ever a form to fill in so you'd pick your team or who you want to buy you have to contact people you want to try and buy someone from someone oh i remember my dad doing it it was so good yeah um and and if you were in the top 20 or whatever you'd get your name actually printed in the paper wouldn't you yeah you get all this stuff and you send it all off on all news and um but i remember the most embarrassing thing because we me and gavin we don't we go to scouts you'd be a bit embarrassed about scouts you want to get beaten up so you have to pretend you didn't go to scouts yeah but we were going to scout camp in the summer for a week we're like how are we going to play our play by mail how are we going to do our team we can't risk it we've got a good cup run going on so that's a mighty moomoo united um it was after the klf song justified h's moomoo so it's m-u-m-u oh okay um and i remember i was team 39 out of 64 and gavin's were gavin's called gavin's team called um i don't know i remember we have a player called ken keegan it's a bit like kevin keegan anyway he um so we had um we thought well what can we do we thought i know we'll get it sent to the big scout camp so he sent so he put the address on it worked so it got sent to this thing we got our post we got to fill it in and do it on camp but it put up next to our name it had no robbie knox second shephy scouts we're like oh this is so embarrassing they know where it's scouts yeah that's fun so much admin though isn't it to send away brilliant though you literally we know what day it would be and you'd be sat by the you've sat by the door waiting for the to come to find out how you get on.

1:21:53And you phone your mates going, oh, 1-3-0, come on. And because you'd be playing against each other, you'd be hammering them. And they would decide the score, would they? Their computer or whatever was doing it, would work out what the score was. You'd have a big game against each other because we'd all join the same division. And then if someone quit the league, a team would come up. So you'd go to your mate, there's a spare team in our league, get in. And they'd have your battles and you'd be playing each other. It'd be brilliant. I reckon there's a space for a website to make something like that now.

1:22:17If someone did a play by male football game now. I think it'd be so class. I'd do it. And I think like TikTokers would like film themselves opening up their score and stuff like that. I think it'd be a real retro things in like you know how people like vinyls and stuff like that. I think this one was based it was based down in like the South West Cornwall or Somerset or somewhere around that sort of way. I remember when Gavin went to that area on holiday he got his mum he got his mum to take him to the office and just have a photo outside the office because we're so into this place. It's obviously just an office.

1:22:47We're excited. and we're going I've been to the base of what this company was called if there's any old people out there they might remember the name of it but it's so good so cute enjoyed this been good fun yeah it's been nice a little trip down memory lane back to 1980s 1990s we've probably got loads more that we can talk about in future ones well I've got I'll bring in some other stuff I'll bring in like because you were talking about school reports yeah but I don't keep things I'm just not I'm not the type of person to like keep anything like that so I messaged my mum and was like do I have anything from when I was a kid and she's given me loads of my old school reports and stuff.

1:23:21Oh, go on, whack them out. I'll give you a little... Or shall we save it for another? Save it because now that I know he's doing that, I've got an old school report that I can bring in and in it, in your exams, it tells you your position in the year so it will go in history. You were number 63 out of 124. Fuck off. That's mad, isn't it? Some kids getting a thing going, you're the shittest person in your year in history. It was a brutal time the 80s and 90s it wasn't a participation that would make me want to perform i'd want to get top 20 but there's something i'm looking at i'm going oh my god i was like number nine i don't remember that i'll show you guys one thing that i want because i can leave the report here until we film the next episode we could next time we're all in we could do an episode based just on school yeah that happened at school stories i reckon yeah the thing i'll show you isn't from school yeah on the first nostalgia episode robbie i don't know if you'll know this because it was with alfie i told the boys that my sister when i was born she really mouth she did that no when i was born she really wanted a baby sister my sister's four years older than me so because she couldn't have a baby sister she used to dress me in her christening dress brilliant and call me stephanie and my mum gave me the christening dress to bring in oh so this You used to be in that.

1:24:42Oh, that's cute. In my head, you've still got a beard. It's very dirty because it's 36 years old. Under you. And mum put it on a teddy bear. I'll give you the photo. Can the photo of this be Stevie in that dress? Oh, that's cute, Stephanie. I'm taking a photo. This is how we do the posters now. They're just photos. Just Josh who's out of a job now. Turns out, easy. I'm saving a bit of dough. I'm sure you pay him so well Mum's kept this on like a little teddy bear in her house since my sister was a baby but I used to wear this not by choice but all the time my sister would put me in it and call me Stephanie and make me play with her as her little sister that's cute she gave me that and she also gave me a couple of things which worked really well for the school ones she's still got the t-shirts that all my friends would sign on the final day of the year when you'd leave to go to a new school so I'll read through all that and see if there's anything worth telling you guys.

1:25:40Lovely, yeah. It's been good. Next time I'll bring in more stuff. Yeah. We'll do a full school one. We'll do a school one. Bring stuff in from school. Brilliant. And that'll be our next nostalgia sub-series episode. There we go. I've enjoyed this. Also enjoyed it. Yeah, you've enjoyed it? Yeah, I have. You better have. I have. I promise. Look me in the eyes and say that. I was already looking you in the eyes and I very much enjoyed it. I'm enjoying this part less. He's not enjoyed it. Right, all right. Cool. All right, guys. Go and live your lives. See you in a bit. Weirdest outro. I thought they paused everything while this happened.

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1:26:53Whether you DIY it or want a pro to handle everything from measure to install, we have you covered. Real design professionals. Free samples. Zero pressure. Right now, get up to 45 % off with minimum purchase. Plus, get a free professional measure at Blinds.com. Rules and restrictions apply.