633 - This Shouldn’t Annoy Us… But It Does

27:49She's your wife. So you've married her. First date. That's what you've been getting on. Yeah. She sounds great, honestly. Okay, before Alfie goes, can I just ask on my, this shouldn't annoy me, but it does, AI animals have been, AI has ruined animals for me. Yeah. What are we saying? Animals. AI animals. That sounds like anal. Massively like anal. Which one are you guys agreeing on for this? Oh yeah, you're fair Oh yeah, that's a grind Agree Go on Alf, chuck one our way Did you know that psoriatic arthritis may progress over time and could cause permanent joint damage if left untreated?

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30:24Okay. Don't take this personally. Okay. What, you've done them about us? No, no, but just a couple of mine. Or about us? no that might just make the room very tense I do not even want to look at that side of the table because it's going to be about me no it's not it's about Stevie then, go ahead people who aren't professional PTs sharing their runs on social media genuinely and I mean this who gives a fuck what is the purpose? you are right, you are right what is the purpose? because when I do you think I'm doing this, ready? cool it's mainly for other people that run though isn't it yeah i don't believe you sorry i don't believe you don't this is a safe space where i'm allowed to i might be wrong in my opinion i don't believe you what do you think our intentions are some weird sort of uh compulsive need to show people you're running.

31:29But I think it's maybe if I haven't, does it get to a point where it's like, with people, not you guys. Right, it's going to be people. If I haven't shared it, did I do it? So I'd say originally when I first started posting runs and stuff. You need to put your hand up. When I first started posting stuff and stuff, I was posting to keep myself on track. Like if I do that, I can't like lie or like I'm just going to keep doing it. Because people go, he's stopped running. It was purely for myself because I've now got evidence of it going. But why could you not put it on your camera roll and not show anyone?

32:06I do that. Because it's like, that's just to keep me on there. But then also, I'm not posting impressive runs. So I'm not posting it thinking I'm not going to see that and go, because Mo Farah don't do it. Yeah. Because we know he's running. Because he doesn't need to keep himself on track. He's got the Olympics for that. Why do you need us to see it to keep you on track? I keep on track with my gym stuff in my notes section. Because not everyone's the same. Not everyone has the right mentality for that. Is this the same as having a public Strava account then? Why would you post your runs to Strava?

32:39Is that a community where people go for running? Fine. But it has a big share button to social media. Don't like it. If I'm going on Strava and I'm scrolling, I'm like, nice, lovely runs. Yeah. I'm on here for runs. When I'm on Instagram and I see someone posting their run. Yeah. What do I think? You know what you think. I think. You know verbatim what you think. No, let me, because I do think I'm wrong in a way. Because I think maybe there's a hint of, if I'm being really real with myself, is there a hint of like, fucking hell, we get it. You're better than me. You're going on runs and I'm not.

33:25No, because, well, maybe for you, but if I see someone posting their weightlifting, I don't lift weights. So by default, they're better than me. And I don't think anything of it. If I posted a picture of me benching and I was like, just benched, whatever, would you secretly think, what the fuck are you doing, mate? no but i would it's the same as five years ago i'd have probably thought that yeah yeah but you've matured a bit but i think it's more just that i do it so i don't want to be there but i think it's an interest thing as well like five years ago i would have i would have probably gone i don't care but now i have is it showing off yeah yeah to an extent yeah that's and i respect you saying that and that makes me dislike it less okay but then as i said we're not posting like definitely posted stuff to show off as well we're not posting mad impressive runs but here's my thing well you're not here uh here's here's my thing um if can you give me any examples of any story or or feed post ever posted that isn't showing off it's true that's what the internet's for it's true because even when people do their little observational quips, right?

34:45And that's not aim to do. No, no. No. I wouldn't call them quips, you know. What do you call them? Little bits. You're doing bits, aren't you? Yeah, it's cringy. Yeah. No, I'm hearing you. You're going, I've got this skill set. I'm never doing it again. I'm never doing it again, then. Cool, man. I'm deleting my Instagram tonight. Yeah, I did that to myself. Let's be honest, I did that to myself. Because as soon as it was flipped back on me, I started thinking actually I've done A, B and C and that is so much worse they're your Stravas do you know the worst thing I do what I'll clip oh this is fucking disgusting how have you done this you gaslighting little bastard he's just told you what you're doing I'm holding a mirror do you know how cringy it is that I'll clip something out and that I've said and post it because I'm going look how look how funny that is or look how funny I am yeah yeah yeah yeah and people must be looking at that like people aren't school with going who the fuck does he think he is maybe they'll think you've got an editor who's doing that though it is funnier to think you're the one watching something going i need to share that yeah see if you've got my tiktok that it's all clips of happy hour sometimes little funny things we've said i have never ever as far as i know posted a tiktok yeah sam does it for me yeah so i'm fine with it however once in a blue moon maybe twice a year I will message Sam and I'll go Sam in Monday's pod I say this at this point can you clip that out if I think it's a good joke in my head let me justify it this way the reason I'm doing that is to try if you get to the nub of this yes it's very cringy the reason I'm doing that is to try and further my career yep yep yep yep so there's almost a purpose behind it whereas you're not becoming professional runners no but we're trying to balance that Influencers, fair enough.

36:39If you're trying to become that, you're going to have to post your fitness stuff, your runs. So I'm allowed my Steve 11 fitness account. Are you trying to grow that to become like a thing? I have a good little community on there. I think it's less bad. Better than Strava. I think it's... Your main account. No, because people who have followed me on my main account don't care. This is Alfie's point. On my main account, people don't care about that at all. They haven't followed that, whereas the people on my fitness account have specifically followed knowing it's a fitness account. yeah I wonder what would happen if you if you tilted to but then you might as well post on your main account if you're not posting that much on your main account just post it on your barely post on there anymore yeah but I can't bring myself to do the stuff you're saying is cringy I just couldn't bring myself to do it I can't sit and like do like these overlay videos and stuff it's just not me I do think right doing it can let's just put it out there right Like, so this goes against everything I have ever been on online.

37:38Right. So people say to me now, right, if someone, if I say, so I genuinely have this opinion now, and sometimes I might sound hypocritical because I'll say opposite on the pod, but ultimately, like, it doesn't matter what someone posts. Yeah. But I love, I love it when someone posts shit. We send each other shit all the time. But ultimately, they are just doing it. Like, fair enough. Like, if there's a shit band, right, and they think they're great and they're posting it, I'll send you it and go, look how shit these are. I will never comment that I will never publicly say it they will never know that that's my opinion but ultimately really if I take that cynical side out of me I don't care I actually don't care fair enough but I don't want my point so my point is we're all posting stuff to get our little corner of the internet our little attention because attention is currency Jesus I'm going to quit when you think about it too much what are we doing now?

38:28we're recording this for attention we're recording this for attention and we're also trying to be funny. That's horrible when you think of it like that. We're really trying. Yeah. I didn't actually think that I was going to be a celebrity guest on this panel show, but I thought it's funny if I say that. When you said a minute ago, I'm not posting impressive runs, you didn't mean that. No, I didn't. No, I think they're really impressive. They're really good. They're up there with Robbie. I've been so sad and recorded this pod before and acted all happy.

39:01this is not me none of this is me you don't know me at all none of you listen know me no you know me you two know me Shane Effie's got you damn well he's the only one who knows the reason those comments hurt are because they are probably true right it's mad how little people know us innit yeah there was a thing I just want to use I just want to get this off my chest right so right I'm not doing the whole reddit thing again this is different right this is different i'm so intrigued please hear me out here right so the other day people were calling us out for having dick bush porn thing on right fair enough right if that's what you think fair enough um they were they were going they were going in they're calling him a twat i didn't agree with them calling him a twat but i get where you're coming from right ultimately i'm not that arsed we were me and steve we were in this studio i mean this with my hand on my heart alfie i truly do mean if you don't believe me right call me out I put a story and I just went back in the podcast studio doing what we do best and I thought it'd be funny to go making podcasts for Reddit to slag off I honestly on my nan and grandad's life did not mean that by it I liked the story I didn't mean it sarcastically it was almost like a friendly thing with Reddit it was just me just giving a little friendly someone put that on the Reddit mate and I went on the comments fully expecting the people to go oh fuck you know people were calling me a cunt they were going this fucking cunt cannot take any credit.

40:28And I was with Fiona and I was in a shopping center. I was going, oh my God. And then when I reply and go, no, genuinely, I'm not fussed. But I know it sounds like me talking about it, but I'm doing it as a light hearted thing. You're fussed now by the backlash to it. I was like, what the fuck? I also think I can't take criticism. Right. Or feedback. I cannot take it. And that's fair. Like, I actually can't. I just want everyone to pretend that it's good. And when people say to me, this is one thing that I don't like. When people say to me, oh, he can't take any criticism. This cunt used to slag off like Zoella.

41:05Yes, I did do that 10 years ago. And for the past five years, I've been going, sorry, Zoella, because I am not that person anymore. So if I was still doing it, fair enough. But yeah, Strava runs, mate, cringy as fuck. Yeah, so what are we saying for Alfie's thing? I'm wrong. I'm sorry. And I go as far as to say as I'm sorry. hey baby don't mind it yeah there we go yeah jack onto your thing oh right um are we allowed to do ones that are actually about that i do it i do yeah because i think to myself why the fuck am i yeah yeah yeah yeah right so again did radio rufus recently yeah spoke about this on here right okay he said it was a brilliant example okay when english people me go abroad spain right And I'm going to do an accent here, but I don't mean it to be offensive.

41:59There's a reason for this. So, Spanish person's driving me in a taxi, and I'm saying, he can speak perfect English. He's smarter than me. He's got two languages, minimum. I can only speak English. He can understand me. Why can't I go, hello, mate, are you doing? You all right? Can you take me to the shop? Why do I put on a little twang of what I consider to be Spanish? It is the cringiest thing. You speak pidgin English. I can't even do it. You did it when we were in Germany. I do it all the time. I go, hello, buddy, how you getting on? You all right? Yeah, mate, any chance we go to the pub? We go pub?

42:35Yeah, we go pub. You like football? We watch football. And I'm talking to him like he is a 12-year-old. No, not even a six-year-old, right? I wouldn't even speak to my five-year-old niece like that. And I'm going, in my head, it must be some kind of inherently xenophobic thing because I'm going, I need to speak to this guy like he's a fucking kid, right? He's doing two languages. He's smarter than me. When you think of like doctors that are like speaking 99 % accurate English, but then you're going, sorry, so me go home now? It's like, they are one of the smartest people you'll ever meet. And like, you're looking down on them.

43:20It's madness. I actually think this could be, and this might piss people off. I think this might be a British... It is. Because everyone speaks our language. Yeah. So we think we are the god of all things. Yeah. So when they're speaking somewhat broken English, we go, we think, subconsciously, idiot. When really, they're actually doing something super fucking smart. Yeah. When I go over there, I know how to say one beer, please. I know. And people will call foreign people who speak Pidgin English cute. Yeah. Like, N 'Golo Kante. the footballer everyone will call him cute and like because he was smiley and spoke broken-ish English yeah he's a fucking animal on the pitch I know yeah patronising yeah fast, strong big tackles fearless he's done more of his life oh a little cute cat do you know what I mean yeah so there we go well I think yeah you're the problem there yeah okay so that whatever the first one was that should annoy you yeah that doesn't annoy me yeah you should be annoyed by it but you do it I can't remember.

44:24You're really bad for it, which is quite funny. I wonder how you stop. Just be conscious. Here's the thing. And I've held my hands up. I'm not trying to find a way out of this because I'm admitting it to me. I think a reason, there was a, there's a few examples. There was a journalist once, a female journalist. She interviewed Oliver Giroux. She kept putting on a French twang, right? Her wider circle of podcast guests were taking the piss out of her, right? and they analysed it and went back and she went, I didn't know I was doing that, right? And I think they looked into it on this podcast and it's an empathetic thing.

44:59So it actually might not be rooted in this kind of like hatred or like sort of patronisation. It's rooted in, I want them to feel comfortable. So I'm trying to get them to, and it's just, you don't need to do it. You're a nice guy. Yeah, you're a nice guy. I don't do it. So if me being nice, if me being nice, grind your gears. We don't do it. So we're awful people. Terrible, terrible people. I can't remember what the, what the catchphrase was for Grind? Oh, yeah, that's a Grind. Yeah. Something like that one. That'll do. Shall we do one more each at least before going on to the Reddit ones? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

45:31Okay, I think this is... Well, this we can do all of ours and then just rattle through the Reddit. Okay. Yeah. Oh, this is definitely a shouldn't bother me thing. Yeah. It really does. Yeah. Lip sync videos, that massive accounts post where the lip sync isn't on time. Yeah. Mate, is it not massively today? I have seen people with millions you're allowed to you're happy to high five him are you? this house will bone dry and actually a nice temperature yours are hot and wet give it a go go on I will give it a go if you can assure me that I won't be disgusted by it I can't stop wiping on your trousers I'm not I'm not I can't assure you that but you've got to be honest with your feedback can you not ham this up for the pod can you just right vile that is fucking vile that is genuinely so gross why is it that's so wet and like now Maybe because I've got a lot of pressure on my shoulders here.

46:22Maybe I'm trying to carry a fucking show, a globally known show. I'm trying to... I'm working. Why does that come out of your hands, though? I don't know. I'm sweaty. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. What? Sum. Yep. That's because I had a wank, aren't you? Back to it. Is it not mental that there's accounts with millions of followers... I'm going off again. There's accounts with millions of followers, and these videos get millions and millions of likes and views and the comment, no one's mentioning it in the comments either. So forgiving, aren't they? It's not in time. So forgiving when they want to be.

46:58I'm just being, sorry, I'm not listening because Alfie's got a bottle of water there and I'm worried he is just secretly pouring some out on his hands so he could wash his hands. No. Okay. No. I get what you're saying, brother. It's insane. It's a huge account. They just haven't either been capable of pretending to sing a song in time or obviously it used to be a huge trend on TikTok to mouth over like a quote or something. And just when they're not in time, I'm just like, how have you done that wrong? And when you've got millions of followers doing this shit. The biggest one was that bees in a chip.

47:28Yeah, so many. So many people get it wrong. So many were shit. Yeah. Can I give a shout out to somebody who I think is fucking brilliant at like a good version of this, right? There is this, what's her fucking name now? I can't even think of her name. Sorry, I can't give you a shout out. She doesn't need it anyway. She's got loads of followers. She, people will know who this is. She lip syncs. So have you seen her? She does the lip sync of Peter Crouch. She does the laugh, the Peter Crouch laugh. Have you not seen this? And then she did like a famous traitors bit recently. She does like Derry Girls and stuff like that.

48:03Yes, I have seen that. Does she have the laptop face? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She is so good. Yeah, she is good. She perfectly gets it. She remembers these monologues at like two minutes a while. She does the breathing and every, it's brilliant. I've got it. Kaylee Trapp is her name. Kaylee underscore Trapp, T-R-A-P-P-E. She's brilliant. So that is what people should strive for if you're doing that. Yeah, I'd just say if you can't get it right, but she's one step beyond. Like the ones that annoy me is like the bees in the trap one. It's like, it's just a song. Just get the lyrics on time.

48:37When she's going like doing full monologues, that's like a skill. someone's nan doing it it's kind of cute when they get it wrong again fine but I'm talking about big massive TikTokers and YouTubers and stuff who should just be able to do it on time and you watch and you just go that's so shit and it's still got millions of likes and no one going why is this not on time because it's just the same people liking it every time going it's the person I like has done this I don't know if this sounds really boomerish but I do think a lot of the most successful TikToks in the world I look at them and I go what the fuck is this oh because we don't get it we're past it We're so past it.

49:116-7 shit was getting likes. What's that? Because I think, fair enough, he's absolutely smashed it and he's super successful and I don't begrudge him it, but that Cabby Lane? Oh, yeah. He does that or something. Just the thing. Oh, that is it. He just does that. I'm not slagging it. I'm actually not slagging it off, but why do people like that? I don't know what that is. He's the number one most followed TikToker in the world. When he first started, it was like he'd watch a video of someone do something really simple wrong like say say couldn't couldn't get their keys from inside the car so they'll like smash the window to get the keys and then he'll just go up to a car and pull the door and go and like just show his hands right he'll just show how simple things are yeah and i think once i get it at first going oh that's funny like why didn't they just do that it's something everyone's thinking but he's showing it but once you've seen one you've seen every single one ever yeah but he'll repeat that formula every day yeah people will still like it again yeah i don't get but That's what TikTok is, isn't it?

50:09As soon as one thing bangs, the TikToker will repeat the same thing over and over and over again. And it works. We're just washed off. Yeah, I think we're just old. We literally just don't get it anymore. Yeah, we're the problem. Are we the problem? Or we just don't understand? Yeah, help us understand. But surely with my shouldn't bother me, but it does issue, that isn't a help me understand. You can't help me understand why they can't get a lip sync on time. But someone might go, I loved it when they got that out of time. That showed the human side to them. is there some kind of like um sort of like seo algorithm like thought process behind getting it wrong because then the brain watches it the whole time to see if they get any of it right i'd agree like the whole thing when you get it yeah thanks when when morgues came on the podcast a while ago he told us that he'd purposefully say the wrong number with different fingers up because then the comments would be like you said four but you only showed i know a lot of people that do that sort of content that's rage don't get it i don't get why you'd want to make money from just people hating you well i used to do this way like i'm not trying to say i'm smart you were the ot i was back in the day before i even did any videos that people out there would have seen i did a series called 25 things everybody hates we're doing it now still i've not gone anywhere in my career and i would specifically do about 23 and i'd go 7 to 9 and then i'd go like 18 to 20 first time they ever did it mistake all the comments you missed 14 i thought next time i'll do the 25 one after that i'll drop two numbers out and then all the comments so it does you get a lot of a lot of reward for little risk when you do stuff like that if you're the type of person who doesn't care about getting hate comments not even necessarily hate comments in that sense but comments where people are calling you thick and stuff lean into it perfect it's going to work for you because people are more likely to comment on a mistake than the good elements.

52:01Okay, so what are we saying for my lip sync? I agree with you, but we're probably wrong, but I agree with you. Oh yeah, that's a grind. Yes. Right, Alfie, next one, mate. Okay, what about this one? Do you want a controversial one or do you want one we're all going to agree with? We're obviously going to say controversial. controversial why would we say anything other sunday league football it's like make-believe dress-up that people actually get angry it's like a war reenactment but if the people actually wanted to kill each other okay this annoyed me recently right explain didn't annoy me i find it like people are in their heads acting like they're doing something important like an actual game in their heads they are Salah or do you know what I mean?

53:04I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that aspect of it what's wrong with it is they start caring so much that there's violence and anger so I mean there was that clip the other day I reacted to on Instagram of the guy elbowing and it really brought something back to me that happened to me like a few years ago where someone elbowed me across the jaw for no reason and I think there's a part of that person who thinks they're Zlatan the problem in this is I think the rise of fantasy football so goals assists yeah I've got notes on my phone with my goals and assists it doesn't matter does it?

53:51It's pathetic I'm thinking that I'm a Premier League player when I'm doing that Let's sit in that for a minute You have a notes section on your phone tallying your goals and assists I don't think I can show it, it's worse than that Alfie Go on Can I look away from you when I say this? I was going to say what I think you're about to say Our friendship's on the ropes So just be very very careful Remember the mic that's behind you It's something like goal involvements The assist of the assist It's not goal involvements Fuck Come on Open up man Open up

54:38I speak freely about shagging a mattress I don't know if I can do this Let me have a look God this is the most embarrassing thing bearing in mind your teammates are going to hear this as well yep yep yep yep if Sax thing are listening to this I'm making this up for the pod fucking I'm nervous why is it in your notes then show me I have my goals and assists yep

55:08can we try and think of what it can be that makes it worse I think you write a detailed description of what the goal was is actually read them read your descriptions now read one you are literally shagging yourself up the arse

55:28can you read Saxlingon 1 specifically because then I know they'll react to it and they'll go that's not what happened what I will do I will but I'm going to make up the names because I don't want a name anyway yeah yeah that's fine August August August one assist opening game of the season wait hang on so you're doing like a monthly you've looked back over the month okay that's way worse every other name in it I'm just going to say Stevie right yeah okay ball came to me poor dairy oh it's so much worse than I thought that is instantly worse than I thought this is so bad ball came to me midway in opponent's half keeper came out I laid ball off to Stevie who slotted home so that's not even a good assist oh you just passed it every assist and goal November November the 1st one goal two assists diving header keeper saved I got back up and slotted home the rebound they're all so shit did you do the diving header?

56:33yeah yeah go for that one go for that one do a good one do a good one ball has never looked or tasted this good. Sweetgreen's fall harvest menu is back with seasonal favorites dressed to impress and made to be devoured. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels, and crave worthy flavors in the autumn harvest bowl, maple glazed salmon plate, and roasted bacon Brussels side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen featuring fall's best dressed. Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands you need. From athletic stuff, like a full-court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff, like a half-mile stroll.

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57:59And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com. I want to see some flair because I want to see if you've said like amazing header or like... December 1st. Yeah. I will name this person as my friend. One goal in a 1-1 draw. Jason crossed it in. I headed it top corner. Nice. That sounds like a good one. December the 14th. I cannot believe I'm doing this. I swore I'd take this to my grave. December the 14th scored the fourth goal in an 11-0 thrashing ran into the box late that's a bit of flair in that one that's too much ran into the box late Stevie crossed it in Alfie missed it left foot came to me on edge of box left foot finished first time 21st of December my last game assist assisted Stevie big three ball he took it around the keeper 5-2 win scenes at slow bottom scenes at slow bottom

59:07I love, and I'm not just saying this, I love and I get pleasure out of hearing about your goals when you tell me them. Okay. Because I don't play, but I like living through you because it is a good feeling when you score because everyone's in this make-believe world and in make-believe world, you're the king that day. Yeah, you are, yeah. everyone's paying to be there giving up their Sunday to be there you don't bother me I mean it's pathetic but it's cute do you know what I mean you're not harming anyone there that's almost like I'll do loads like me doing that GTA roleplay server where I had to do an interview for it that's make believe land I've got no problem with that make believe land gets bad when and i don't want to bring the tone down because this is a light comedy podcast racism and violence gets brought into it yeah because they think they're roy keen or vinnie jones or one of these tough people that's for anger in general yeah you're bang on right so this is a deep-rooted problem within sports and specifically football really right this is what you don't get at the darts this tribalism that goes beyond just supporting your team fiona and i we were on our way to the studio today so the the day we're recording this chelsea are playing napoli in the cup tonight right chelsea fan last night was stabbed right by a napoli fan fiona hit the nail on the head when she said this so uh the italian reporter was on talk sport and he said that they have this thing the attack the napoli ultras have this thing that basically translates to little puncture or something like that.

1:00:54And they stab opposition fans in the arse cheek with a screwdriver, right? And that's horrific, right? But Fiona pointed out the nuance of it and she went, what's a Napoli Ultra, right? And I went, it's a group of fans that think they are so much more a fan than the rest that they murder and beat up others. and she said that is the most embarrassing thing I've ever heard. It is. It is. They walk around, they have these balaclavas on, like, they, please, how do you not realise how pathetic that is? No, I know. It is the most pathetic. Is this bad me saying this? No, I'm just scared. No, it's true.

1:01:39Yeah, I'm scared. Because loads of people agree. I don't get the whole, oh, he's a dickhead, he's a Norwich fan. Yeah. It's like, do you know what? I'm going to say this now. Yeah, go on. I'm a Robbie to have a nice time with his kids at the footy. Yeah. If that means Norwich playing well, that makes me happy as well. Yeah. Is that all right? Yeah. Shit, Ipswich fan, mate. My dad's partner of many years. Spurs fan. Our mate, Joel. Yeah. Spurs fan. I am a West Ham fan through and through. I work for the club sometimes. I want Spurs to win when my mates are... Unless they're playing West Ham. Then I want West Ham to fucking smash them.

1:02:18but if Spurs are playing and I'm watching in the pub with Joel I'm with you Alfie I want Spurs to win Sue me because it's not that deep it's not that deep oh it means nothing it's not that fucking deep and the players themselves probably couldn't give a shit either if they're offered a different contract a week later they're going to move on they don't care this is a thing that I've realised when I've worked with them of course they care for the club but they don't care half as much as the fans fans are born in predominantly born in that city they are raised it's in their blood they will always have that club no one else apart from the fans has that club that long the owners are only just they're tenants that's what they are they're going to sell it to someone else so no one cares as much as you so why I don't get why there's violence over it when and it goes back to when I used to go to West Ham games and people would call me out and how many games you've been to fucking one who gives a shit who gives a fucking shit I don't get it right but I just think I just think I felt really vindicated when I did that stupid Instagram video because I'm so upset I don't play anymore and it's because I would love to play with you and your team with you I would love it but I also don't want to give up a precious day where I'm not working to get someone make me feel upset as pathetic as that is and people are just cunts.

1:03:46They're all just ruining it. They're all ruining it. I used to get a really hot head in football and I think probably two years ago, I just had sort of what basically what you said. I was just like, what the fuck am I doing? I'd be like, someone took me out. I'd be like, I don't know if I can get him back next time. And I'm like, why? Like actually why though? It's not my job. No one's looking at me. It's just all in. I make believe a footballer in my head but I'm not a footballer. It's nearly every game. I think in all the games I played for SACs, I'd say 90 % of the games, there was some form of back and forth between the two teams where I was just stood there thinking, this is pathetic.

1:04:25Like, it's so embarrassing. I get the pressure of career because everyone has arguments in work, right? Or like when there's money on the line or like some sort of actual status on the line. But you literally don't have to be there. I don't get the mentality. at all of going there and just being like yeah arguing or like just not having fun i don't i don't mind the competitive nature of it yeah i like people seem to take competitive to personal and the second it goes personal it's just like you've lost like you can't do it also be like a strong challenge yeah designed to be a strong challenge but not uh i'm gonna hurt yeah yeah i'm gonna break being frustrated and enjoy it and like being angry into it is fine but the second you take it too far it's just like if i go up goals and there's a meathead trying to fuck like trying to fucking snap me i will literally and i don't care about people on my team i'll just stop playing i do that i mean i'll play but i'll just not i did that i did that the other night yeah i play like just with a group of lads that are all mates someone was kicking and i was just like well i'm just not playing anymore you just stop going into challenges and stuff yeah all right i still and then i haven't gone back because i'm like but i'm gonna spend my evening worrying about getting kicked by someone.

1:05:43If you break it down to that, it's weird, isn't it? If I'm getting paid 200 grand, yeah, I'll probably take the risk. But then those players aren't doing that. No, that's what I mean. That's why I kind of get the professional, like if you're a professional in your sport, you're probably so stressed because it's your job. And even like non-league, like you're playing at a really high level. It might not be your job, but people care about it. There's fans, there's like people at work there. there's like a history but like a Sunday league team you're gonna people I reckon there's people that really think like I am the Roy Keane of Saxlingham yeah there is there will be I am the people look at me as a leader it's like that shit yeah like mate I mean I shouldn't really say but I there's teams I've joined and like tried to train with recently and when there's not a game they'll go and watch another team in the league's game to like scout out the players I'm just like Like, what the fuck?

1:06:40God, that's a bit too deep. Even I wouldn't do that, and I've got a fucking note of my goals. So your thing that shouldn't annoy you but does, I think it should annoy you, because you're not saying Sunday League really, are you? You're saying the violence in Sunday League. Violence and aggression. People who take it too serious. Yeah. Yeah. So what is it? Oh, yeah, that's a grind. That was hard to do after I'd let out all my energy on that round. Yeah, yeah. One more from me. Let's do one more. I've got one I just want to chuck in. we don't need to riff off it because I think it had been done a million times, but when people rush to get on or off a plane, like, you're not going anywhere.

1:07:16Yes. You're not fucking going anywhere. That's so annoying. Yeah, what are you doing? And it happened to me recently when they say, let people off the tube and they're trying to get on before they let people off. You're going to get on. Like, you're actually going to... Oh, mate, well done. That just shows the selfishness of humans, I think. And then my one that I fucking could not stand. Who are the people? Who are the twats on Christmas Day that wait in a queue or by a barrier when the royals are going on their walk to give the royals gifts. I saw someone gave fucking King George or Prince George an Aston Villa shirt.

1:07:55He's probably got a million if he wants them. And a dairy milk bar. That dairy milk is going in the fucking... It's going in the bin now, isn't it? What are you doing, though? They've got billions of pounds. Is your issue more with the worshipping of icons who actually... Don't give a fuck about you. Yeah, or contribute. Yeah, well, that's probably rooted in that. But on a surface level, it's just go and enjoy your day. It's... Is it... I'm trying to be... I agree with you. Yeah. Is that not just their special interest in life? is they love for some reason. Like, it's hard because there are people that would argue some stuff people in positions of power do is not good, so you shouldn't be just really advocating for stuff.

1:08:54But like, is it that different in their minds to turning up to a football team every week and buying the shirt? No, I guess it's not. But then do people wait at the stands and give Jared Bowen a dairy milk when he's walking off the road? Well, they wait for millionaires to sign stuff or give. I suppose it's the other way around. You wouldn't give them something. Yeah. There probably is. I mean, I guess it's harmless. What do you love that much? What? Than the royals? Like then they love Prince William or whatever. I don't know. My family? Yeah. Do they? I think the issue is that they're not doing anything for it.

1:09:36It's odd. They've just been born into a family. I almost think the queuing and giving of gifts isn't odd. It's what that's being directed at. It's more of a random... I think there's so much around the royals that it's just odd. Loads of it is odd. I think that's my problem, maybe. Not the people giving gifts. Just the royals is odd. It's weird because it's like, as a concept, it's very strange. Oh, it is strange. But there's some individuals in there that you think, you know, look nice. But then just like I'll see like an actor in, I don't know, someone in a boy band, I think he seems nice. But then there's people that really want to marry them.

1:10:19Yeah. When the Queen died, right, we were in America at the time, weren't we? Yeah. And we got told that we couldn't tweet or post a podcast clip on the day the Queen died. now fair enough right show you respect right i tweeted the day my granddad died and i care more about my granddad than i do the queen yeah so why why did we do that i can i completely understand like big corporations like the bbc not posting fucking have i got news for you on the day that the queen side but why can't we we don't necessarily i mean it's a shame that an old lady died that's not nice it's not nice when any old lady dies but why can we what you can't post that you can't say i was posted about football i remember graham potter you can google you can search this up the dates will match up graham potter lost his job i think at brighton that day the day the queen died or the day after and i i tweeted about that and people were replying going or dm 'ing me going have some respect i was i'm talking about graham potter at brighton yeah you're not you're not joking about the queen and this is not me making light of the queen's death there are a lot of people that idolized her and cared for her and i'm sure she did do a lot for our country but if you're if you personally are not that invested in this family that are not invested in you why can you not go and post your podcast or do this i remember when we got told we could and i thought why can't we post a fucking podcast yeah i remember it was a bizarre time i was so close are just wanting to do it.

1:11:49Yeah. Bizarre. I do find it all a bit... Stuffy. And like, why? Well, it is just... Is it just because it's tradition? Who's that for, though? But then what is it... It is just tradition, isn't it? What is the stuff we like for? But then it's... Yeah. But I guess the difference is it's literally just... It is odd. They're just being born into a family and like, what, they're going up to George and giving him an Aston Villa shirt. If anyone you love, say, Justin Bieber. Has he had a baby? It's like one of Justin Bieber's fans. Yeah, the baby, baby, baby. Yeah, actually.

1:12:25Thank you. And that will be me messaging Sam. That will be one of my blue moons. But it's like one of Bieber's fans going up and starting to buy things for Bieber's baby purely because it's the baby of that person. Yeah, there will be people doing that. And that's mental. Until they do something for themselves, that is insane. Yeah, yeah. but that's the whole royal family the queen was a descent like they're all it's just a birth what about when but then on the receiving end if someone's on the tour made us something nice I would really like it so what's that but they're coming to see a live show and we're doing something in return in return and we're standing and talking to them and doing all this as well after the live show but maybe it is nice for them royal kids I guess we just can't see what the royals are doing for them I don't feel like the royals do anything obviously it's tourism and whatnot I'm really deep in thought about all this yeah maybe we just don't know enough about the royals maybe we need to chat to a royalist maybe there will be people that have a contrasting opinion to us on the reddit and I will read through them and hear them out because I want to hear yeah I'm intrigued so what was your annoyance are we saying people on Christmas day specifically Can I just put Royals?

1:13:48Okay. Royals. I think that's like a minor grievance, though. That's like a massive establishment, isn't it? They annoy me. Okay. They probably shouldn't. I'm on the same side as you with it. Yeah? Yeah. That's a grind. Okay, cool. Okay, your next one, Stevie. I'll tell you what we'll do as well, because we're about an hour and 15 in. Yeah. Should we do a part two to this next time we're together? Yeah. and we will we will dedicate the whole episode to just listener submissions we got over 500 submissions oh that's well good through the reddit so yeah it's definitely worth we'll do that when it's us through yeah okay amazing so this one i i already feel like you're gonna agree with and i get why they have to do it can't stand it and i think we've probably done it occasionally on this podcast where we feel like we had no choice but to when like creators it's mainly like true crime creators but when they say like unaliving oh yeah i can't stand it but the thing that pissed me off i watched a video the other day the woman said brutal unaliving and that's taken away from it you can't use the word brutal before unaliving she then said d row instead of death throw oh like she couldn't even say death row she had to say d row and then she said dp for death penalty but all I was thinking is double penetration and I'm thinking Is that not the monetisation?

1:15:13Yeah it is Yeah so that's what I'm saying I get why they do it but I just feel like it fully takes away from the whole thing you're talking about something obviously horrific but they're going oh they brutally unalived them This is so again weirdly this was one of Rufus's ones that he came up with yesterday so there is the way that those they're saying these different words because if you say those specific words the TikTok algorithm and we'll catch that and you'll not get paid. So, but you can't say, I don't think you can say gay, right? That's mental. I might be wrong, but I don't think you can say gay because I see people say G at sign Y.

1:15:52Yeah. Or they'll say, because you definitely can't say twat, right? Okay. So you can't say twat, but you can say T-W-U at sign T. You just need the at sign, won't you? What? You just need the at sign as A-T. Yeah, right, that, yeah. So when the guy's there behind the scenes writing all the words you can't say, why is he putting twat in and not thinking to put T-W-A-T sign? You would put more than that in, wouldn't you? Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? No. Oh, you mean the person who works at TikTok? Yeah. The guy who's putting all the banned words in. Yeah, he's going twat, but he's going, oh, you can put T-W-A-T sign.

1:16:31I wonder if advertisers have gone, we don't mind T-W-A-T, but we don't want twat. You reckon? Maybe. I think it might just be like maybe a bot that does it all or sorts it. It is weird though, isn't it? Everyone in the world. Yeah, it's like you can't just say words. I get the swear words, fair enough. I get the swear words because it's kids or whatever. But brutal and aliving, we still know you're saying someone has been murdered and the kid is still watching that knowing what you're talking about. Saying the word murder is not going to make a difference. Or like when they're talking about suicide and they'll say unalive themselves.

1:17:06I think it's all advertising. I don't think it's censoring for audience. I think it's censoring for ads. For advertisers have gone, we don't want to have our company attached to that. Well, then don't sponsor a true crime video. No, I know. I know. I think it is, and also maybe TikTok runs ads for other companies. And they want it to be more squeaky click. It is weird, though. I get it, but some of it was just like that DP one. Yeah, that's... For death penalty. Why can't you say lesbian as well? Because people say la dollar bean, don't they? La dollar bean. Bean? What the fuck is going on? La dollar bean.

1:17:53You know lesbian. Oh, bean. Yeah. Lesbian. La dollar bean. Yeah. I don't know why, but that sounded so Indian. off his face then well I wasn't meaning to do the action okay yeah fair enough le dollar bean why can't you say lesbian yeah they're not insults I get it because lesbians are real that's what I'm saying I think it's a bot doing it isn't it stopping these things and because it's a bot and it's not a human who can watch it and see the context of how they've said that they have no choice but to jump that way so I get it but I can't help but cringe every time I see it happening Yeah, I'm with you.

1:18:33I'm with you. I'm with you, mate. Okay, so... Oh, God, that's a grind. Go on, Alf, what you got? When people assume I know lots about curry, I don't. Never been to India. My knowledge on curry is actually just the same as anyone else's. I don't know what to recommend. I'm not sure if Jack and I can agree or disagree with you on this. How often are people asking you about curry? It's like, oh, I bet you had lots of nice curries growing up. And the annoying thing is, yes, from my English mother. I get a chicken tikka masala. Yeah, do you? Yeah. I love a tikka masala. But, you know, I have had it before, like, what would you recommend?

1:19:16Or like, I don't fucking know. I'm foreign to this as well. My grandma lived in Singapore when she was a kid. That's why I look like this. None of us know anything about curry, all right? So what you hate there is you hate racism. No, it's not racism at all. They genuinely think... Ignorance. But it makes me feel guilty. Like, you know what? I probably should fucking know a bit more about curry. Why? Because that's my culture, essentially, isn't it? No, but it's not the culture. Yeah, back in the day. Yeah. They're not meaning it. They're actually going, oh, what are you... You know, what do you reckon?

1:19:55They're trying to be nice. They think I know. That's an assumption from them, isn't it? I've never once thought to ask you about curry. It's weird though, isn't it? Because we don't get assumptions, do we? There's like, like white men. Straight white men. Yeah. Like people don't go, oh, maybe we do. What do we get? No, I don't know. Like people wouldn't, people wouldn't, people would be more likely to go up to Alfie and go, can you recommend me a curry than coming up to me and you and going, do you know a good fish and chip shop? Yeah, definitely. You know what I mean? But they'll probably assume we're on a podcast.

1:20:21What if you were in India? Yeah, true. What if you were in India? Yeah. And then they, they were like. That's the thing. Where's a good fish and chips? Yeah. Ah, to you. See, here's the thing, and now we're going into real muddy waters here, because we don't get, no one's racist to us, right? So if we went to India and they came up to me and they, like Indian people came up to me and were like, oh, tell us about like, yeah, fish and chips, let's say. I wouldn't take that offensively, but that's because I haven't had a whole life of hearing people make snide comments. Yeah, I take it as intrigue.

1:20:55No, but here is the difference. You're in India, but you're Indian. yeah you look like you yeah but you're indian yeah but your granddad was english back in the day and everyone keeps fucking asking you about fish and chips you know i don't know anything about fish and chips yeah that's really good point i think we have to agree yeah that you're allowed to be angry at that yeah i'm not allowed to say no to that one if i say oh you're a bit uptight aren't you and people will ask this another thing and i don't know why this it doesn't annoy me it's just like so many people where i live are like where are you originally from yeah and i always say ipswich yeah and they go where were you where was your dad from or mom where were your parents from and i go like london where were your grand why do you care yeah where my grandparents were from no one's nobody's ever asked me where my granddad's from yeah but then I think there's a nice curiosity about it in a way.

1:21:53Yeah. But it's also like we're going, like my kids, it will be their great grandparents. Yeah. Yeah. Like they won't know anything about, do you know what I mean? It is weird. Like it's really weird. I wish people would ask me where my granddad's from. Where is he from? I have a bit of Pakistan.

1:22:13Another good joke. Thank you. Message Sam. Sam, I've got two for you today, mate. Have you got any other annoyances? Not really, mate. None that are like really fucking... Nah, that's probably about it. I've got the one for me that's probably my smallest one and it's really current. It's specifically Twitter or X-based. Don't know if you've seen so many viral tweets at the moment. A vague? Yeah. What is that? All I see at the moment is vague tweets. And then I'll check the replies to see what's that talking about. And just all the replies are going, context, context, can you explain? What is this?

1:22:49I like politics. You know what? Even worse than that now, that's a brilliant one. Even worse than that now is they do 20 second videos, right? That nothing happens in the video. I saw one of a CCTV woman of a woman's bedroom. She's on the floor getting something out of the rug, right? I thought she was going to be doing like some kind of drug thing because there was mess all over the floor and she's like desperately doing something and she's picking up stuff off the floor and you watch it for 20 minutes and nothing happens and the caption says cannot believe she was doing that. Yeah. And I'm like, what?

1:23:18What is she doing? What's she doing? and I looked at all the comments and everyone was like, fuck you for no context and stuff. They're doing it to get to, so you watch to the end of the video. Yeah, but then the ones I'm saying are just normal tweets. So you engage with them. Well, I wrote, and this is such a shit example, which proves my point. There was a tweet from like, discussing film or whatever, saying Jordan Peele no longer wants to act, no longer wanted to act after being offered the poo in the emoji. I saw that, I saw that. And then that was shared and quoted as something like, this is even funnier when you realise who ended up taking the job and that was it and I was going just say who it is first reply was going Patrick Stewart just say that just say this is funnier considering Patrick Stewart took the job that's a better tweet to me I reckon the person tweeting it didn't even know who got the job though they don't need to I reckon they're just tweeting that you're currently in a position where you could purposefully be vague and not even know the answer but loads of people are liking thinking it's different people yeah oh that's mad because you're going to get 100 likes off that, people thinking it's James Corden.

1:24:21Yeah. So they're casting a wide net there and getting likes. I can't stand it because I feel like any, I'd say 90 % of tweets, I'd never tweet anymore, but I do doom scroll on there occasionally and 90 % of it at the moment I'm having to find out. I'll never like them. I'll just go, and it's never worth it. I've never found a great payoff on one of those tweets. No, I haven't. I can't tell whether or not this episode has been cathartic to me or whether I am now more angry. I'm really wound up. Yeah, I'm really worked up. The listeners are either going to agree with us, in which case they will equally be wound up, or disagree with us massively, in which case, same outcome, massively wound up.

1:24:58But at us. I imagine we've pissed a lot of people off today, but it was not our intention. I'm so wound up. Oh yeah, that's a grind. I've got that one. Yeah, I've got to drive home now. Shall we leave it there? Yeah, I can't. My heart can't take anymore. Sorry, guys. That felt good. Good ep, though. I enjoyed that. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it and next time we'll enjoy all of theirs I've gone through I had a list of quite a few of them ready to go but I only went through the first hundred but there were enough in there and some of them are so like so small that it's brilliant I'll give an example one of them said people who use the term full time mummy good good this episode is going to be called something along the lines of this shouldn't annoy us but it does and next time you see us we'll do an episode called this shouldn't annoy you but it does Again Genius I'm on fire I'm on fire There you go guys It's been Jackmates Happy Hour Podcast With me, Jackmate And the genius friends Out of us And Stevie See you on Thursday When we'll have a guest And I can tell you now The guest is Johnny Sins Porn producer See you then It's not I'm going to get that one on this

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