640 - The WORST People On The Internet ft. The Screen Rot Podcast

25:31Ian's just there. Sig's on the go, talking about topping himself. Sid Batty's got the duck. I'm making a curry for everyone. Super Sunday on. Can you imagine? They'd level each other out. Exactly. They could learn a lot from one another. Different eras of men's mental health. Back then, quite a lot of cocaine and singing. Now, a duck. Do you know who Sid Batty is? I've seen the guy with the duck. The one who doesn't like doing things. That's a good way of putting it. That's what I've seen. We did a whole hour of him on the Patreon episode the other week. It could have just been that. The guy doesn't like doing things.

26:07I don't really watch stuff like that. I just need to get something off my conscience here, right? Because I know you boys are quite scathing in your reviews, but you're very funny with it, right? Our listeners will jump on me for any opinion I have either way, right? But I cannot sit on the fence any longer. Go. I discovered that guy's videos about a year ago. Fair enough, he's an advocate for mental health. I just don't think it's genuine. I think that's how a lot of people feel. He's inspired some pretty strong reactions. Has he? like people messaging us being like, you've got to do an episode, you've got to do an episode.

26:38You've got to two foot him kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. I think a lot of people are on your side. Are they? I did not know that. I think a lot of things like that probably start genuine, but when a few likes come in, you're going to over egg it, aren't you? Well, this is it. And it like, I don't doubt he is suffering. I mean, the backstory, like, you know, there are some people whose mental health backstory is like, I lost my parents. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I think he had a knee injury at uni. So that's his kind of, that's his like, it's like, oh. I had to buy a teddy bear because I hurt my knee.

27:07You've been through stuff, haven't you? I had knee surgery at uni. No, I was talking about your neighbour. Yeah, I was ignoring that one. What's the name of the... What happened with the neighbour? Pedo. He got fiddled. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what. He actually did, yeah. Sorry. Fucking hell. He has never once walked around with a cuddly duck. No. But that might be your issue. Look at you. Credit to you. Do you want me to get you one? You've got fucking nieces coming out of your ears. They're not mine. They're your nieces, aren't they? Yeah. He's still denying it. You've got niece daughters coming out your ear.

27:39Your Christmas present bill is through the roof. And like, you're fine. Look, you just come in here. No monster energy for you either. You're all right. Don't like energy drinks. Why don't you've got mental health? The amount of monster energy drinks that are going down your neck. Who said I've got mental health? You're just assuming that. Oh, sorry, I'm just assuming. And it'd be correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get you a duck. I'd love it. Sid Batty, right. I think the thing that people respond to, like you say, is because it is such a sensitive topic. We went back for this episode that we did on him and we looked at all of his content.

28:08Obviously, the first things that are going viral are him with the kind of Tom O'Dell underneath it. And it's like, I just went to the pub on my own. And then about halfway through, when he got 200 ,000 followers, there's a video where he's like, I've got to make an apology. I've been traveling and I didn't buy any good clothes. If you go to Boohoo Man now and it's like, all the sad music and it literally cuts to celebrate. And you've got a Boohoo Man. it's a bit of a struggle to be like i'm all about mental health after that yeah and then monetize it because boohoo man and their tracksuits apparently saved your mental health but it's like and it's not to say you can't be famous and sad but a lot of his stuff is like i don't i don't really know how to say this but i don't know who to have dinner with this weekend so i'm going to weatherspoons alone again but he's got fucking hundreds of comments being like i'll go for dinner with you.

29:00Like, you know, I've DM'd you, mate. Do you know what I mean? Then if he does, well, exactly. There's no content. Then he fucks it. This is a hard thing. I think, and I do feel, I think there is like... We feel for the guy. We really feel for him because he's snooking himself. He's cornered. He's stuck himself in this loop of like, I have to be sad and miserable every day to keep the fucking numbers going. I know he's getting money and loads of friends. Yeah, yeah. He was at the Brits. He was at the fucking Brits. How can you be miserable I've never been invited to the Brits. No No Exactly I need to match some letter No I've been nonced I'm telling the Brits I'm going next year I've got eight daughter nieces And I've been nonced Get me down the Brits I want to see Jack White I like how you assume The eighth is coming in the next year Oh sorry I've got the number wrong twice Both ways Right Next one What's the most ridiculous thing You've both spent money on?

29:47Oh he's Well you've bought Bevo's Mums OnlyFans Yeah That's a business expense What were you going to say to me? That's cheap I do spend money on stupid shit gray roots entering the chat uninvited Garnier's got you Garnier color sensation root retouch covers up to 100 % of grays in just 10 minutes no ammonia no mess and the color lasts up to four weeks it's as easy to apply as shampoo plus it's vegan and cruelty free 10 minutes sensational color sensational price with those savings your next girl's night is basically free find your perfect match at walmart.com or at a store near you. This episode is brought to you by Born in Roma fragrances by Valentino Beauty, the iconic fragrance duo.

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31:21time tackling dishes and more time together shop now at palmolive.com i mean it's jacob has like this podcast started basically where jacob would send me this content i wasn't on instagram he was trying to quit social media trying to quit social media for his mental health and you weren't letting him no yeah yeah no good friend lets their mate get better yeah exactly and so and now it's like got wildly out of hand but like alongside all of the like horrendous clips of the sid batty's as well that he sends me and I have to engage with this stuff. He started sending me lots of pictures of like vintage watches that cost like£15 ,000.

31:56Oh, wow. And he keeps saying, and this is the phrase that he keeps using, it makes me want to jump off a multi-story car park. He keeps saying, I'm in touch with a broker about this. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean a thing. And like, it's purely to do my head in. You haven't and won't spend the money on it, but that was where my mind went. Do you know the worst thing is that I was just looking at your wrist, I was like, fuck, that's the watch I've just bought. And I nearly wore that to this record. Is that a day date? Yeah, yeah. I literally just bought that. And like, it's a stupid purchase that I don't need.

32:27As I say, I've got three kids and fuck me, they want some new clothes. But I'm mainly doing it to wind you up. I'm mainly doing it. Can we get some hand-me-downs? You guys must have loads. I've got loads of clothes. I haven't got any nice watches. All covered in their mum's shit though. Yeah, yeah. Their mum's mouth shit. She's spitting it all over us. What's the most stupid thing that I've bought? I'm pretty sensible. You're a sensible man. I mean, it might be the Stevenage season ticket, to be fair. How much are they going for? I mean, you can give them one of them. If you've got some spare evenings, they'll fucking send you.

33:01I would love a SponCon season ticket. I mean, we've had to buy lots of stuff for the props for our live shows. Right. Oh, okay. Your live shows were sort of almost like a panto. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ours are like that. So, I mean, how many dildos did I have to buy? We had to buy a lot of dildos for the last show, yeah. I bought one that wasn't the right size. I bought one that wasn't the right colour. What do you mean? Hang on. What do you mean wasn't the right size? It needs to be big. It needs to be big. It needs to be big. Because we were doing Shamspush Empire, so it's like you need to be able to see it.

33:28Visible on stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I deep-throated it. I had to deep-throated the dildo. He didn't have to. No, you're just going to say, why have you said the word have to? Well, yeah, I say I wrote that joke. Wouldn't it be really funny if I put this in my mouth? Yeah, yeah.

33:46Did you send him the link to the dildo with, I'm in touch with the broker about this? I'm blacklisted from Amazon, so I genuinely did have to do that, yeah. How are you blacklisted from Amazon? Well, I used to do a podcast for the BBC. Initially, I did one about drugs, and I did one about porn and stuff. And it was in deep lockdown, I was doing this podcast about porn, and I interviewed a guy in America who made, like, fucking life-size sex dolls, because he was like, you know, sales have gone up 800 % since lockdown started makes sense so he like you know it was just this like little BBC Sounds podcast and interviewed him for 20 minutes and we just got on really well and at the end of it we were just sort of DMing each other I was like oh thanks for doing it mate he was like yeah sweet you know really good chat I was like yeah nice one he was like do you want one I was like what he's like do you want a doll and bear in mind I was you know in a relationship just had my first kid yeah but yeah I want a fucking doll you can't you can't say no it's a fucking it's got a head like it's got it had eyes and everything oh god i probably do have a picture on my phone but so he was like do you want a doll so i'm like fuck yeah man what you don't realize is the the bits that men want aren't the limbs so it's got no arms and legs it was a sex doll yeah but it's got no arms so basically i get this fucking box the size of this table come in the post right and i have to get it and it's annoyingly i was in a I was in a block of flats at the time that had a little receptionist guy.

35:16So he's fucking heaving this thing. Thank Christ it was all written in Chinese. Otherwise it would have just said like fucking, you know, sex style. Weird sex style, yeah. It was sick. It was amazing. And... In what way was it amazing? It was like, it was a woman. And I think, you know, the first picture I sent him when I got it, yeah, I pulled her underwear aside and it's got everything. Everything. and I'm like this is fucking amazing what does your wife say about this? we're in lockdown what's she going to do? we just had a kid do you know what I mean? she can't leave how's this link back to Amazon?

35:51we'll get to Amazon so I've got this sex doll and it's just it's obviously great and obviously I don't do anything with it right I've heard that you try to chat up fucking Alexa so I'm not I've tried to shag Alexa yeah I will say obviously I didn't do anything not obvious at all I do remember being pissed enough once I remember being really drunk and me and my missus like getting down to it and I was just like shall I ask her if she wants a threesome with the doll fuck do you know what I mean you didn't though she went up for it the doll not my missus

36:27but I mean there was a couple of mad things first of all as I say it's really lifelike right and we had a newborn baby at the time and there was a couple of times my missus like you know the kid was like six months old and my missus would go to work and i'm there and my miss the kid was breastfed my missus was solely breastfeeding the baby she wouldn't take a bottle right and i'm sat on the sofa and i used to just have the doll on the sofa like she just watched telly with me and honestly i'm sat there holding the baby the baby's crying i'm like fucking hell she won't take the bottle blah blah and i'm i can see my daughter's little eyes going like that and i'm like what's she looking at she was looking at the doll's tits and there is a bit of me like do i just drip a bit of milk on the tip?

37:09No, you don't. No. Never. You never do that. Never drip a bit of milk on the tip. And I didn't do that.

37:19You're fucked. Completely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got loads. I'm Sid Batty, man. There's a lot wrong with me. Yeah, I'm now starting to think the duck's fine. Yeah, yeah. We need a duck in here. So then, you know, after I've fed my daughter via the doll's tip, my missus is like, the doll's got to go, right? So he just moved into a new house uh back in near steven is where we grew up uh it was actually mother's day 2021 which was around the time that people were just starting to sort of socialize in gardens i didn't know this he had his mum and dad round for a little like mother's day cup of tea in the garden in his new house because he was in a new place he was getting a lot of furniture delivered at the time i'd visited my mum and on the drive back i was like fuck it i'm gonna surprise him so i was like i've got you a surprise for the new house put the box outside do you want to say what happened well i mean first is how the box was delivered as well he's like oh i've got a delivery cupboard for you it's like i'm like all right it's a housewarming present obviously i've moved into this house a week ago yeah a fucking van with his mate big dave in the front comes down the drive and i didn't know big dave was working for amazon what's going on here the side of the van opens and they push out this box in the way that you might like you know i'm it's this it's this big and like bank robbers like you know when they like someone gets shot in a bank robbery and they have to take them to the hospital but they can't go in because they get arrested so they just fucking push the body out that's the vibe of this box coming out of the thing I'm like this is lovely it's got a note on it saying for Jake really heavy take it out the back my mum and dad are there put it on the garden table I'm like oh Jacob sent this nice nice housewarming present we all like kind of comically over the box open it up fucked sex doll with milk on its tit inside my mum basically manages it to laugh it off my dad was advocating going around jacob's house there and then he was that angry to thank him yeah my dad's got it now actually i've never seen yeah he was raging we nearly fell out and he was like you've got to get this out my house was your dad actually annoyed was he um i think he was i don't yeah i don't he's not really familiar with jacob sends a humor at that point there was no podcast he just knew jacob's like my weird mate and I think he was like I think to be fair he thought that Jacob was trying to get my mum to see it when that was just me that he was trying to get to see it I didn't know he was going to have his family there I didn't know he was going to open a sex toy but that also made it so much better for you didn't it so how were you banned from Amazon so then he's like get it out of my house I'm like fuck it so I have to give Big Dave another 20 quid to go and pick it up so then I've got it back in London and my missus is like you can't have it in the house anymore so he won't have it I can't have it Big Dave can't And it's lockdown.

40:00I'm a stand-up comedian. That's my main thing. I wasn't gigging much. I'm skim. And the geezer that I interviewed was like, these things go for like three grand. So I'm going on Amazon and I'm like, well, I'm banned from eBay as well. I try and sell it on eBay. Basically, you can't sell a sex toy that's been opened anywhere, which is fair enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I tried to sell it dodgy on eBay. eBay kickoff, I'm banned. Try and sell it on Amazon. they're like you're not a verified sex toy seller you can't do it on air so what so what what i did is i pretended it was a hairbrush i just listed it as hairbrush and the first image on amazon was a hairbrush but then i genuinely in the description i was like winky face it's actually a sex doll dm me for more and i put my instagram handle like dm me for more pictures of the doll wouldn't believe it that violates the terms of service yeah so i got i got banned from amazon as well so and And then, yeah, eventually just...

40:56So that's why I have to order multiple dildos in multiple different sizes for our live show. Right. How long is the ban for? Well, I'm still not allowed back. It's not like the Premier League. He's banned forever. I just don't like letting back. I've got a tribunal in six months already. Hopefully I'm going to get allowed back. So have you got any dildos for your Crosswire show that you're doing? Well, we've got Greg James coming on. Yeah. And we do want to have some fun with Greg. He's listened to the pod for a little while, but has been embarrassed to tell anyone. Much like me. He's well within his rights.

41:32He's a democratic right. He's a national treasure. It's bad that he listens to it, really. I'm going to complain to the BBC that he listens to my podcast. It's ridiculous. We can't be funding stuff like that. Basically, he's released a book recently, Greg. And it's, I think, a large part. Have you got it? Yeah, top one. Oh, top one, yeah. yeah yeah yeah so a lot of his a lot of the book is about how him and his missus decided not to have kids yeah and basically we spoke about it on episode about because i've obviously got three and two of them were accidents and he was he sort of did this whole thing of like you know me and my girlfriend we decided it's better to not be parents than to be bad parents and we don't want to do it if we're not fully committed blah blah and i was sort of like well on the one hand that's that's quite responsible but on the other hand there are a lot of people who you know like your sister for example just can't stop popping them out and it doesn't make her a bad person or a bad parent so I was like is that a sort of woke or correct thing to say you actually are you filming your crosswire show for online hopefully yeah yeah I mean and also by the way Greg is we've got loads of good stuff he's got loads of content that he wants to cover it's going to be sick so yeah it won't just be us offering that no yeah yeah but you're actually we haven't even announced this yet yeah we've not said it anywhere we're doing crosswires as well aren't we the four of us and we're doing it the same day you guys so people could come and go to both I think that's the sick idea, I think, is that you can just hit so many in one day.

42:55And then, well, good for us as well, because we get to go and watch other stuff. But yeah, we can't wait. It's going to be amazing. Where can people get tickets for that?

43:08Crosswires.live. Just Google Crosswires Festival. You'll find them. If you Google Crosswires Festival, ScreenRot or Jackmate or James, whatever, it'll all come up. Find Happy Hour first. Get those tickets. Well, I think we're doing 7 till 9 with, and when I say the four of us, I mean me, you, Alfie and Robbie. And then you guys, the Scream Rock boys, are doing 9 till 11. Just after, yeah. If you Google Greg James Cuck chair, it'll come up. Can we borrow some of your dildos for our show? Yeah, we've got loads, man. Just don't try and sell them on Amazon, it's my advice. Don't try and get your money back.

43:39We'll see if we can get Robbie to put them in his mouth. Right, boys, I had a whole interview, but we're sacking it off, right? Because this has been too good. Sorry, we've got a car crash your podcast. I absolutely love it. Now, boys, because obviously you talk about online things, right? So I've got a list of online people, the weird and the wonderful from the online universe, and we're going to put them in a tier list. Now, obviously, the tier list goes from good to bad, but you guys can clarify what we mean by putting each one in each one, if that makes sense. All I've done is come up with the names of the tiers.

44:13I don't really know what they mean. so we've got at the top we've got utter rot yeah under that we've got quite rotty yeah under that not that rotty and at the bottom not rot okay okay Stevie kick us off pick anyone on that list who are you going for I'll go Simon Squibb ooh a classic on the Scream Rot universe when we name these can we just give a really quick breakdown of who they are as well just in case listeners don't know Simon Squibb is a sort of quote unquote entrepreneur and his content often revolves around sort of street interviews where we stop people and say do you have a dream and it's kind of set up that it'll be someone who go oh yeah actually i wanted to make an app where people can track how they run it's like well that's strava but give it a go mate and then and then yeah simon will give them nowhere near enough money to try and make that work so simon gives them just enough money that they go oh wow cheers and it's never enough to make a startup happen it's like three grand um or what he'll do sometimes is he'll go i can either give you 10 grand for your idea or you can have my book yeah yeah which is kind of the sort of grand please yeah it's almost like that sort of like guess what's in the teacher's head thing where people going i guess the book and he's like yes yes the book and they're like yeah where's the 10 grand gone sorry simon is obsessed with like everyone being an entrepreneur right yeah it's just like it's your life has no meaning if you're not sure you could be married with five kids you could be as happy as but if you work for a salary yeah you should be dead and that's kind of like a an overarching thing of like a lot of like content now is that there's this whole kind of like uh hustle thing of like yeah man be your own boss why do you want to be chained to a nine to five like i i've been self-employed for seven years now uh i'd fucking love a boss there are times where i'm like fucking hell i'd love to go on holiday and that's actually annual leave and I'm still getting paid.

46:10I'm not looking at my phone because I've got to post something or tickets. Do you know what I mean? I don't know whether you ever get that, but sometimes I'm like, my mate will be like, yeah, I've got to leave work two hours early the other day. They let us finish early on Fridays in the summer. I'm like. Was it your primary school? Yeah, yeah. I want to go to school, basically. But I think there's this whole idea of like, oh, yeah, if you're your own boss, that's freedom. Right. And I've got loads of mates who are like, you know, like a couple of my mates own like barbershops and stuff. and they're like, it doesn't feel free.

46:38Do you know what I mean? Stressing about corporation tax every fucking day. Do you know what I mean? You're at home in bed and you're still thinking what reel to post. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And weirdly, I've got a day job that I like and every single podcast brings me closer to being sacked from that day job. So it's like we're in the opposite sides of the boat. I've got what he wants. What do you do? I work for like a charity that helps other charities and I've been doing that for like eight years. Well, that's like the kindest thing you can do. Kind of, yeah. Yeah, but he's kind of the Mark Corrigan version of that.

47:06He's the kind of like, you know, you guys need to do some fucking spreadsheets. He's the kind of like CEO of charities. No, it's not that. It's like basically he goes into rooms full of people with blue hair who think paternity leave should be two years. And he's like, no, do some fucking work, please. If we can bring the cost of it down as far as possible. It's great that you all go to Glastonbury every year, but maybe do your fucking job once in a while. That's kind of what he does. I reckon Simon Squibb is almost like, he's the kind of person people think about when they think of Scream Rot.

47:41It's like he was only online. Do you know what I mean? He's born of the online world. He needs some explaining because it's like, why is this old man bothering people to start barbershops in Leicester Square? You need to explain him. It's like he's very of that world. So I would put him in like utter rot, I think. Top tier. It's a judgment on quality as well as just type. Do you know what I mean? He's in there, I reckon. Okay, that's a good start. Next up, Stevie, one of your faves. Lad baby. Get it out. Go on. Get it out. It's a safe place. Have you seen it? See, this is... Oh, right. Oh, it's...

48:23Oh, wow. Laugh lad baby. Was that part of a thing you did with them? No, he's... You did that independent... I'm a huge fan. He's a big fan No this isn't right Really? This is the problem Because you've made lots of stuff You've done that for a day haven't you That's like a bet You lost like a fantasy league And you had to do that What happened? Are you into American football? Is this a cry for help? Jack took me to get a blind tattoo We gave each other blind tattoo I listened to this podcast I don't know that law How long ago was that? About a year ago Eight months ago Yeah so Jack Jack has a really really poor relationship with his mum She used to beat me up.

49:01Alcoholic. But he loves The Simpsons. Mine's actually quite cool. You two are fucking laughing in it, aren't you? You two. Don't get battered by your mum. I thought we were going to make this episode. I miss the cheery days of getting a baby to feed off of a sex dog. In the first episode of The Simpsons, Bart tries to get a tattoo that says Mother in a love hut. And it just ends up being moth because Marge walks in and drags him out. So I made Jack get... He's got that. You've got the better end of that deal. I'm going to say that. But if you know how much he doesn't get on with his mum, that's just a Simpsons fan who's got a difficult relationship with their mum, as many of them probably do.

49:38I was trying to be nice. You look like a lad baby freak. I'm kind of into it. Do you specifically dislike lad babies? Cannot stand it. This is the thing with a lot of them, and Sid Batty falls into this as well, like, you know, they do stuff for charity. They're probably nice people. But it's fucking annoying. It's well annoying, man. How many sausage roll songs can you relate? Yeah, and then it's just this whole thing of like, almost a lot of these things, they can't withstand success. Do you know what I mean? It kind of works when it's just some random bloke from Nottingham and his missus, and they've got their kids with him, and they're doing a daft video.

50:12Yeah. They've got one of those like influencer houses now. Do you know what I mean? Like one of those like, it sort of looks like a gym. It sort of looks like they sort of film in there, and it's all downward light. It looks like the changing room of a virgin active. Yeah. I remember when they first got big, it was like what seemed like real pranks on each other. And then it got to a point where it's like, well all of this is completely staged now yeah and shit and that's the thing we because we often like we've been going long enough now scarily where you can like revisit people that you and you can kind of see the arc right and there's always this like weird bargain with success where you can't continue to do the thing that made you successful when you're successful right yeah right can't continue to be that when it's like your christmas number one do you know i mean it's all fake you can't continue to have bad mental health when it's like well you've got enough money you just go and get therapy now.

50:59Just like, let's sort this out. Yeah. But for them, it works because the Facebook audience are a whole other breed where they still believe it. They're most cute people. They're still going, yeah, that's incredible. I can't believe she fell for that. Well, she didn't. She planned it. Do you do Facebook with this? Do you post this on like... Jack's got... I don't even use Facebook. It's someone that... I don't touch it, man. It's just... It's aunts and racists on there. Money for a rope, mate. Well, yeah, I know. I know. I know. But fucking hell, like... It's just your normal clips just on that.

51:26I know. I think that's the worst s-bit. I think Facebook is... Like, people say Twitter's bad, but you kind of know where you are with Twitter. You expect it to be hell on earth. Do you know what I mean? Whereas Facebook, there's something sort of homely about it which makes it even worse. You know that your family... The amount of gullible boomers, they're getting fooled every day. I know. My granddad, because he loves it, he got banned from Facebook for six months. What was he trying to sell? What had he done to a sex doll? Fee will bleep this he he called me up and he went I said why did you ban me he went all I posted was three words I went yeah but it depends what the three words were he posted

52:11and could not believe that he got banned on Facebook look he only got six months no that's unbelievable I know let me see if I found nothing to do with him what a policy position that is by the way yeah I know. To get that reaction from them, you know what I mean? Yeah. I found this the other day. Somebody posted a picture of a banana taking the peel off. Have a little look at the thread on that. Read that out. We'll overlay it. There's a banana removing its own peel and kind of holding its private area. Someone's replied saying, a guy called John posted it. Someone's replied saying, John, ha ha, where did you find this one?

52:48Oh, somewhere online. Ha ha. It just cracked me up. Thanks for joining us tonight, Bill. I really really like this image me too save it it's all yours my friend haha great pic thanks Lauren I think that just sums up Facebook yeah no wonder we're fucked as well yeah all you have to do is into that world you have to be like um you know they're giving immigrants free houses now that's all you have to do into that world one minute it's Bill going I like that picture of the banana without its skin the neck post is like do you know that there's immigrants in Buckingham Palace and everybody's like Oh, fucking hell.

53:22My granddad tells me once a year, Gene Wilder's dead. As if it just happened. I know. Okay, so where's Lad Baby going? Oh, man. I'm worried these are going to be top rock. Second tier down, I think. Second tier down, because they're not quite as... They're not viral anymore. They're not hot anymore. You know what I mean? You can avoid Lad Baby if you want. Yeah. Right, a couple quick fire ones. Legacy rock. Paul Breach. Oh, my God. Top tier. He's back, isn't he? Yeah, yeah. Like, the thing is, and I feel insensitive, He is a paedophile. So he has to be top tier rock. Allegedly. Oh, for fuck's sake.

53:56I hate that. He is. You can Google it. No, he's not. He's not. Is there proof? He thinks that the louder he says something, the more true it makes it. That's just what he does every week. You can Google it. You can Google it. You can Google anything. You can Google a banana taking off its skin. What are you talking about? It did take off its skin. You've seen the photos, Matt. I really, really like that image. No, Paul Breach is maybe one of the other most requested topics we've ever had. And we do, I mean... That was one of my favourite episodes. We have a secret theory that basically people, rather than just like, they feel bad about wanting to stop listening.

54:33So they just are trying to make us go so hard on someone vulnerable that like something bad happens and we have to shut the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Because he is, there's a lot going on. What's happened with his art? Because I first heard of him because people kept saying Jack looks like him. And then that seemed like he was this guy... I'll tell you this now. I don't know if I've even told you this. I played him in a... Some content creator emailed me and was like, will you be in my comedy sketch thing? She made like a six-part series. And I was like, yeah, I don't give a fuck. If you come to Norwich, I'll be in it.

55:06And she told me on the day that I was playing Paul Breach. You've always got to ask who you're playing before you turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was actually me, but I think the outcome was... So she did a series called Hunting Paul Breach. Oh, and... And then she finds me in a park. and I turn round and it's me. And she's like, oh, I thought you were Paul Rea. And the whole time I was like, I don't know why I signed up to this. It was so weird. When I first heard of him because you look like him, I thought it was like, he was just like this quite cringy older guy. And for some reason people were loving him.

55:37But now I saw him pop up the other day and it's like, everyone doesn't know I'm in a thong living my best life. What's happened there? Stop saying it. No, okay. But yeah, he's a creep. Let's say that he's a creep. he's always with girls that are too young for him and it's like he's not like cross-dressing because that's his identity and he wears women's clothes because that's how he it's not that and he's doing it to wind people up you're describing Robbie Knox he's not doing the Tarlene marathon backwards because that's how he identifies he's doing it to wind people up look it was all hard for us when Soccer AM stopped harder for some than others No one knew what to do.

56:18No one knew what to do when Sokka.am stopped. Fair play to you, Robbie. The thing with briefings is the nature of the algorithms is it's just trying to make you stop on an image, right? It's just trying to make you engage with the thing. So it incentivizes doing this mad stuff, which is like him lip syncing to fucking Olivia Dean whilst dressed in a leotard or whatever. And it's just like he is just catnip for that rage that comes from that. It's like, what the fuck is this guy doing? So he's purposefully doing... 100%. It's rage bait. It's just all rage bait. You think he's got a bit about him then?

56:51You think he's got us in the palm of his hands? He's the puppeteer. I don't think it's working for him. I think he had to run away to Japan at one point. I don't think it's working, but I think he knows what he's doing. I think he is trying to run away. I think there's more intentionality than, yeah. He knows if he just did a normal thing of just like, here's what we'll have for breakfast, guys. No one gives a shit, right? It's like, put the fucking dress back on. Yeah. But like that, that's me commenting that, by the way. it's like it's that thing of like yeah is this how much and that was what we talked about when we did the episode on him that was like where we're like oh what is he doing this on purpose is he puppeteering us or is it just he's a vulnerable person right i think i'm a bit more on the intentional end so do you so do when you do these episodes like how much work goes into it do you watch like pretty much everything he's done and do you do you script it or is it no we don't we don't script it but we both do our own kind of like independent looking at the people making some notes, blah, blah, blah.

57:44And then I think it is sort of trying to surprise each other. Yeah, yeah. It's trying to come up with something the other one won't think of. Okay. How long would you say you spend researching one person to talk about? A few hours each, probably. Yeah, probably like three or four hours. Yeah, I mean, the thing is, it's like, it is, you know, it's boring, but it is a job now. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, if you're charging Patreon, then you have to do some prep. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That can't be great for your mental health, though. Oh, no, it's terrible. I'm in the toilet.

58:10Yeah, it's awful. Yeah, yeah. I'm like one of those lads that has to like... This is how they started, just trying to get him off of it. Yeah, yeah. And now what I've done is set him up so that he only gets a dividend payment if he watches more of it. So it's like... Yeah. Next thing you know, you're saying, hi, we're talking about child abuse. It's all... What am I meant to do? I couldn't have planned it, honestly. When I was trying to make him kill himself five years ago, I couldn't have planned it better than... I like my day job. I could be doing my day job now. But no, it's... Yeah, there's...

58:31It's trying to have an angle on it of like... And this is the other thing where it's like people... It's like, do Paul Breach, do Sid Batty. And it's like, it's not that fun to be like, this guy's a cunt. So it has to be something more fun and more interesting. And oftentimes then when you do watch three or four hours of their fucking TikToks, you think, oh, I want to kill myself. But you also think like, oh, that you do tend to find like the humanity in them. Always, always. You end up liking them. But at the very least, you see a bit of yourself in them. Do you know what I mean? You're like, oh yeah, I could see myself.

58:59Has there ever been, you just said always to that. Has there ever been somewhere where there's no humanity come in? if I actually know this is just a cunt. HS Tiki Toki, yeah. There are some apex predators that are just dead behind the eyes, sharks. Now with him, I'm veering towards... I can empathise with him. Because he's bald. Because he's losing his hair. He's losing his hair. He's struggling for money. Is he struggling for money, is he? I don't know if that's the current work or if it's actually true. No, I think it is true because he's been charged by the police. He was charged by the police for something.

59:30I don't know what it was, but he didn't return for his court date. and his whole thing was I can't afford the legal fees and so now the courts are chasing him for the money for missing the court date and the initial leap. So it's like he's fat, he's baldy skin. I'm with you, brother. Yeah, I know how you feel. He's trying to shift the sex doll as well. I know exactly how he feels. Where would HS Tiki Toki go in this list? We're putting Paul Reacher in that row, by the way. Yeah, I think Paul Reacher's got to go top tier. Top tier as well. HS Tiki Toki. Okay, next up. who should we do from this list oh should we do this one yeah do a couple of ones that you wouldn't expect I don't know if you might have covered this guy I don't know, Angry Ginge This episode is brought to you by Palmolive.

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1:00:55From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade Electrolytes. We have. We have. And I think we did a bad job of it, actually. We were really anti-Angry Ginge. Right. I think it's just because he's, like, 10, 15 years younger than us. How old is he? Do you know? He's, yeah, early 20s. 23? Yeah, so 10 years younger than us. And, like, I just didn't get it. Do you know what I mean?

1:01:31I think a lot of the kind of TikTok-y streamer guys, I don't know what I'm watching. Do you know what I mean? And I think we covered it. Because he was going in the jungle, we were like, let's talk about angry jim oh so it's recent you did it yeah yeah yeah a couple of months ago but but we just didn't understand and we had loads of people being like no he's actually all right yeah i think the the kind of like streamer being online for six hours thing that's quite tough and there's like a lot of a lot of his stuff is being angry that's that vibe but like there are kind of like we got i really like i show speed right he's crazy he's racing against cheaters yeah he went to China and there were just people shouting the N-word at him.

1:02:08You don't see that every day. While he was barking at them. Do you know what I mean? And I guess that's kind of my sort of thing with Angry Ginger. I was like, oh, it's just a kid playing FIFA pretending to be angry. It's like, well, you can't be that angry. You've got Rooney on the other end of his stream now. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You must be having a pretty good time. And it's like, well, if you've got that, or you could be stream, you know, racing cheaters, running around. Doing backflips. Doing backflips, running around fucking Africa. Like Speed's got that corner of the internet locked up.

1:02:34Yeah, I guess, yeah. You want to come at the king. I think Speed's an anomaly, isn't he? He's a generation talent. I think the tough thing with some of the British ones is when they try and be too big a character and you don't believe it. Do you know what I mean? Whereas, do you know a guy called Jimskin? Yeah, yeah, I've seen him about. I fucking love that guy. Yeah. And that's a guy who would have just won Big Brother 10 years ago. He's just a good-looking Essex lad. He hasn't got an awful lot. He seems like a nice bloke. He's just a nice guy. He's just a nice guy. And he's just sort of bopping around.

1:03:02He likes Madonna. Do you know what I mean? He just likes dancing to Madonna. That's his thing. Have you seen this film? No. He's all over kick at the minute. He's massive now. But my sister's like, bang on, she's like, get him on the podcast. You 100 % should get him on the podcast. Yeah, we'd like to get him on ours. But I mean, he just likes digestives. Yeah, yeah. He's just a normal bloke. And I think the thing is, when you get so many of these internet characters who are trying to be something so big and outrageous and you don't always believe it. I think maybe that was my thing with Angry Ginger.

1:03:28I didn't know anything about him. So I was like, he's not that angry. He's definitely Ginger though. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe that bit. But like the rest of it, I was sort of like, I don't really get this. I mean, I used to be a teenager who threw a fucking PlayStation controller at the wall and screamed a lot, you know. Yeah. I didn't get any fucking, I wasn't on Soccer Aid. Do you know what I mean? I think I was jealous. And I'd be interested in your thing on this as well, of like, I don't really get, they're almost those people trying to kind of recreate the world that they've got away from.

1:03:55Do you know what I mean? Like him going on I'm a Celebrity, it just feels like a bit of a shame to me, where it's like this whole thing was you made this thing in your bedroom and now you're a fucking millionaire or whatever. Yeah. Stay in your bedroom. You know what I mean? You don't need Ant and Dec's approval. Right. But I guess it's too tempting. A lot of these online, and I guess you guys fit into this now, it's interesting when mainstream TV and stuff try and pull the online guys in. Yeah, right. Because less people watch telly than watch this. Yeah, so this used to be a destination, the TV used to be destination.

1:04:26Yeah. You do this kind of shit to get on TV. And now it's like Ant and Dec have a fucking podcast. Right, right, right. Oh, and if they had your numbers, they'd be over the moon. Do you know what I mean? If they could get your numbers, they'd be fucking buzzing. It's probably bigger for them if they could get on here, at the deck, than if you went on whatever Saturday Night Takeaway. Maybe not Saturday Night Takeaway. I'll still go on, though. Don't get me wrong. That's the thing, right? You kind of like, we grew up with it. A lot of them don't. I want to win the ads. Yeah, yeah. Let's fucking do it.

1:04:54I remember one of my mates who's a comedian, He was, when BBC Three were like relaunching as a like proper channel, they were doing this like big thing and they were trying to get, who's, God, he got arrested in Australia because he was a sex offender, I think, allegedly. I mean, who is it? He's friends with Chunks, but he's not friends with them. Oh, Philly. Right. I remember my mate who was like doing this big launch for BBC Three. For my mate, it was like a massive thing. Right. And he was saying like the producers were trying to get that Philly guy to do it and they had him locked down. and then apparently at the last minute the whole thing got pulled because Philly was like no I'm not doing it and they were like oh why have you got something else he was like no I just want to go to the Superbowl and just couldn't be arsed he was like fuck it I'll just go to the Superbowl and said I don't care about BBC3 and I think I quite like I don't like what Philly's doing now but I quite like that sort of backing we are the number one Philly supporters I'm putting that in the intro this could be a tough edit for you guys but I just I quite like when the internet people back themselves and go fuck it I'm not going mainstream I don't need it do you know what I mean and I think as someone who I've been doing comedy for like 11 years now and at the start it was very much you know I was going to the Edinburgh Fringe trying to get on TV and I did like a couple of tiny bits of TV and then you know now it's like every comedian's like almost like embarrassed about I just did TV for the money but I'm trying to build my YouTube do you know what I mean yeah oh massive everyone like yeah yeah yeah I was it I'm in a group chat of comedians and we were all like arranging to go for drinks after something the other day and someone's like oh sorry I've got to do I don't know what he was doing some fucking bake off shit or something like do you know what I mean and everyone's like taking the piss out of him everyone's like you fucking loser you skint or something because it's like why are you doing that and then he's like oh no I know god I wish my special had as many views as yours it's genuinely such a funny thing now of how it's flipped of like like you know everyone wants to do what you guys are doing now everyone wants to build an online thing and I quite like when the online guys stick to what they're good at stay in the bedroom like bevo's back to swallowing potatoes now i kind of think good on him when you said swallowing there i thought i was going in a different direction well he's one i imagine comedians go yeah in the group chat saying the same about happy hour like fuck me i had to just do happy yeah it was bake off for happy hour it's like when you come here right it's just like you come in you can talk about what you're like you can talk about a sex doll yeah there's not like 10 people milling around being like don't fucking say that or whatever and it's like that's what I the reason presumably that Angry Ginge connected with so many mainly young people is because he's not mediated through like a production company or whatever and then that's the thing I don't really love about it but I get why they do it I suppose it's like that's just a bit weird just stick to your thing so where would you put Ginge in this list now that you've had a rethink I think because he's so like mainstream media now presented to Brits didn't he yeah I think I would put him down the rot scale because he's an online person but being online doesn't necessarily make you rot, I reckon.

1:07:52So I reckon maybe the third one down. Not that rotting. Second from the bottom. Okay, cool. What should we do? What about KSI and the Sidemen? I'm so old, I just don't know what to make of them. Do you watch the Sidemen? No. I don't know. But they're like your age, our age. That's the worst bit. That's the worst bit. There's a guy called Ethan who calls himself Bazinga, doing 6 '7", and he probably makes 10 million quid a year. And I'm sat there going... He's got a home gym. and I'm like what the fuck I just it's like there's one of them that's called Berserker what? no you're thinking of Bazinga no there's another one Berserker Berserker oh Berserker you're so old yeah we are no we are you've got Bazinga then you've got Berserker their names are like they're gamertags aren't they from when they were like 16 we never knew that we never knew that we never knew I ain't got a fucking good I just think fair play to them and what I quite like about a lot of those guys is they're privately educated yeah yeah And it's like, you know what?

1:08:51They should be at the top. I've grown up expecting those guys to be millionaires and I don't really care how they do it. Whether it's owning a private investment fund and working in the city or just being Bazinga. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Same as it ever was. It doesn't matter. The kids who went to eat and are still making money. He's got a drink called Prime. Does anyone drink it? Fuck knows, but he's a millionaire. It could be ITV or it can be YouTube. There has to be someone privately educated holding the levers of power. If it's Ethan Bazinga or Berserker, or Zerka or KSI. I think, isn't KSI in Britain's got talent?

1:09:23Yeah, he's a judge now. Is that a permanent or is that a one-off? No, he's permanent. Because I saw him... I mean, that's some fucking, like, him telling some professional singer whether they've got a talent or not. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, yeah, man. That laugh is evil. Life is sick, isn't it? Life is quality. Life is quality. Some guy who's been, like, training to be a musician for 20 years has been going to music school since he was seven years old having KSI tell him he's got no talent. But isn't the perfect thing? The UK's fucking quality. The other day. So I saw a clip the other day and I think the clip was meant to be like a happy clip, right?

1:09:54But there was some guy on Britain's Got Talent and he was doing dog shit spoken word. I've seen that. And it's like, it's the lowest of the low. It's like, you're walking down the high street. There's a Muslim fella. Give him a killable or something. It's mental. Cut to KSI, bearing in mind, who grew up basically, from what I can tell, like doing volley videos down an astroturf. Yeah. Or like rap or beating people up. Or I don't know what he was doing. He did all of them. Yeah. He did all of them. And it cuts to KSI and he's like, that's just what we need now, man. We need to be brought together.

1:10:21And it's like, what the fuck are you talking about? You should be playing Fortnite. You shouldn't be on ITV1 being like, we're all one, man. This is it though. The people who run these TV production companies, they're the same as us. They don't know whether it's a Zerker or a Bazinga, but they're like, fuck it. People watch them, stick them on telly. Yeah. And I quite like it. And we will do that as well. We will go on Britain's Got Talent. We'll go on anything. We're not probably educated. We don't know what we're talking about. So where would you put those in the list? A sideman and KF. Second to bottom again, dude, because it's like...

1:10:49You're going to have to... Is Bazinga a sideman? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they own a chicken shop. Yeah. Oh, sides. It's like they're deliberately trying to poison all the teenagers in the country. It's energy drinks, Fortnite content, and chicken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next series of adolescence. What are you doing, son? Are we certain that the sidemen aren't, like, owned and operated by the Chinese government? they're desperately trying to undermine Britain's youth my grandad's kind of just put a status let's do some actual rotters right, Cycling Mikey fucking worst of the worst worst of the worst because he's the perfect thing of like he's technically not doing anything wrong no he's technically making the road safer but he's the worst fucking cunt he's profiting from it isn't he he's profiting from it but it's also like a guy killed himself because Cycling Mikey was like is this true?

1:11:42he threatened to kill himself on camera he catches a taxi driver no one knows if the guy's dead or alive and I'm not going to call him a liar so let's say he killed himself yeah that'll hold up yeah because it backs up my argument but it like the guy said to him he's like I'm going to fucking end my life if you post this online after you filmed me I think it was a cab driver yeah I'm going to lose my job Mikey still posted it like that that is I'm sorry yeah that's love of the game shit that is yeah If we come out of this, we say to you, look, man, we're going to end our lives if you post this episode.

1:12:17I do not want Bazinga coming around my house. Or Berserker. We're going to get Bazinged or Berserked or something. We're terrified. Please take it down, Jack. Well, we've got a confession to make, haven't we, Stevie? We've just cycling Mikey'd a cunt. Yeah. You've done what? We cycling Mikey'd someone. What was he doing? Was it Jack's mum? The person was driving like it was my mum. What were they doing? We were on the way home from happy hour last week. They must have been drinking. Like the driving was awful. In and out of lanes. Almost clipped us a few times. Don't like the look of this. We passed them, see if they was on their phone.

1:12:54Now, I'm not an advocate for using your phone when you're driving. If they were on their phone, I'd have actually been like... It's understandable. Like they're twice, right? Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. They weren't on their phone. So I was like, I think they might be off their heads. And they just kept swerving. So I was like, after a while, we did a car phone, didn't we? Yeah, they were driving like in between two lanes, like consistently and just so it's like no one could go past them I'm guessing you chose to grass immediately yeah it weren't me it weren't me who was the big back of it all Robbie was going call 111 call 111 or is it 101 I can't remember you were asking about calling 111 you left the NHS phoned NHS direct get him a doctor so we called we called the the 101 and they were like they were like okay yeah whereabouts are you we said where we were they said yeah we've got you and they knew exactly what car I was in.

1:13:42It was well weird. Which was fucking weird. Were they looking at the cameras? They must have been, right? Yeah. They must have been able to see you. As in like they knew they were making much? Straight away. Literally said it. Straight away they were like, is this you here? And we were like, yeah. Anyway, two minutes later, Blues and Twos go past. Oh. We can see the car in the distance. They took the car into a garage. It was like the most exciting thing that's ever happened to us in our life. Pull over and watch. Not all the way around the roundabout. We pulled over and watched. yeah because they pulled him into a jet garage so we pulled up at the pump unfortunately they had a little chat with the guy and then he drove it off so i think oh you're praying you're praying he gets out of the car with a whiskey bottle right yeah worst part of this is we've parked in and then i've i've opened the window and these lot have gone in the petrol station so i could try and listen but as they've gone in the car locked and the window went up so i waited a minute i was like i'm gonna have to crack the door open a bit crack the door open alarm was on Jack's car just like the alarm went off and the police just looking over and I'm like I'm just trying to listen to I've had loads of stuff on his hard drive and I'm cycling like he did yeah there you go that's the guys that grasped you actually oh my god yeah that is but that's different that's fine I'm fine with that are you alright because that's that's genuinely like a threat like a guy could have killed someone do you know what I mean if he's driving dangerously whereas like the thing with cycling Mikey is I don't genuinely believe that he thinks a lot of those people are actually threats to anyone.

1:15:05No, they're not. A lot of them are like, they're in traffic. It's like genuine entrapment. I don't do this. I'm not saying you should do this. They're in traffic, stood still, checking a message on their phone. Some of them are like checking maps. Do you know what I mean? It's like, whatever, man. They're not, you don't genuinely believe that's going to kill someone. You're doing this for your own YouTube. You guys didn't even make an episode out of that. We'll get a clip out of it now. But it's like, he literally waits where he knows he's going to catch people. Yeah, yeah. Which is, and it's like the price of the rage of those people the cortisol levels are through the roof on these guys he's getting like 50 quid in AdSense from this it's like it's just yeah and he has to go to court for each one it's crazy it's an unbelievable hill to die on I don't know how he holds down a job I mean that must be the job he must make learning for Gitchi well I was going to say his bio says like a mental amount of people on his bio he said how many yeah he keeps updating it live does he yeah he consistently Let's go.

1:16:02He got one as well. One. Or zero, actually. Zero. How many has he got? Oh, yeah. Right. Reported 2 ,491 drivers since 2019. 2 ,913 penalty points. Wow. 175 grand in fines. In brackets, not all results. 36 drivers disqualified. Oh, wow. He's got the real stats breakdown. You can put reported. Yeah. I mean, the rest of your stats are pretty shit. Yeah, one single mother who was turning around to ask her kids to stop crying, reported and assaulted in a jet carriage. 2 ,400 in, what, six, seven years is mental as well. That's big numbers. That's over one a day, isn't it? What's that? He's doing at least one a day every day for the last seven years.

1:16:50So let's play devil's advocate on this. I think the reason he claims to do it is because his dad got killed by a drunk guy. He actually says he's like, there's nothing to do with it. People often say, they're like, oh, is that the arc? It's like a sort of Batman thing of like, that's your origin story, is it? And he's like, no, there's nothing to do with it. I just really care about road safety. So he's claiming that he's in it for the love of the game. Like, he just loves seeing people get, you know, fucked for driving badly. He should wait outside parks and just wait to see if anyone gets there.

1:17:19So I do know where he is a lot of the time. He's often around, if you go to like... Gandalf's Corner, isn't it? Yeah. I was like, is he named it there? Where's Gandalf's Corner? It's like somewhere in Hampstead, isn't it? Yeah. Well, I often see him around sort of Camden if you're going past the zoo. You know, like past London Zoo, like near Camden, a sort of region. You've seen him, have you? I've seen him and my plan has always been, this has always been my dream, is that if he, I don't know if I've got my phone away. Yes, if he finds me, my dream has always been, and I've always been too busy to do this.

1:17:49He's got three kids, by the way, and this is his dream. Yeah, this is why I can't do it because I've always got the kids in the car and they're screaming because they want to go to Softplay or something. I'm like, fuck off, I want to go viral. My dream is to get a phone case and then like write on a notepad in there, fuck off Mikey and sit there pretending. So when he comes in the door, he goes, excuse me, would you show me what's on your phone? I could go, yeah, fuck off. He's not posting that though, is he? No, but this is why I've not done it yet because I need to get cameras inside the car.

1:18:18So where are we putting him? Did you say? Top tier, man. Might be top tier. Top tier, right. Let's do two more. Let's do two more. Stevie, who do you want to pick from that list? Oh, no, we're doing him. Danny boy, 83. I'm obsessed with this bloke yeah I'm obsessed with this guy where is he now he's somewhere now he's in Vietnam right now he's talking he's bad I mean it's it's really bad we were literally just talking about this before we came in it's it's I only know this guy because you've sent me a video of him on the podcast loads I'm obsessed with him you sent me a video when he was like when he got beat up like battered yeah yeah yeah I mean it was the summer of Danny Boy 83 yeah last summer brat summer then Danny Boy 83 yeah then arsehole summer people were tracking flights like he was a transfer.

1:19:00People were like, I think he's on this flight going to Brazil. Oh my God. I've never seen, like it is pure rot. It's the most rotten. But it's also that thing of like, he is a perfect character. He's not pretending to be something he's not. At the moment, he's in Vietnam and he can't get a prostitute. For whatever reason, he can't get one. And every morning, he posts like videos apologizing to the people watching. He'll be like, I'm really sorry people. I've been trying to get a bra. So I can't get one. I'll get to Thailand soon I'll get a brass for you he tried to set up an OnlyFans account the thing is he's 43 and so he does genuinely struggle with technology so he keeps trying to set up like a patron or OnlyFans but he doesn't know how to upload his ID or something so he can't create the account Is he trying to do porn now?

1:19:45He kind of has been doing porn the whole thing has been about him sleeping with prostitutes despite the fact we don't see it that's kind of what it's all about so he keeps getting kicked off Instagram he's the best for me He just goes to the most exotic, beautiful countries on earth and just stays in the hotel room. And the thing is with him is... Mental. You live for... Because he sort of died off for a couple of months, didn't he? Where he was just in England, not doing much. Yeah. Seemingly. Getting beat up. Yeah. I think he lived in a car. Whereas now he's back and the reels have got the numbers again.

1:20:16And what's really heartening is the amount of people in the comments being like, it's just good to have the comment sections back. And everyone's like, it's good to see you again, mate. Some of the comments are so funny. there was like because he'll you know he'll go and sleep with a sex worker and then he'll go back to his hotel room and he'll be geared off his nut and he'll just pace around playing Tupac until like 7 in the morning just ranting into his phone and like the comments are fucking frothing at the mouth frothing at the mouth yeah people are going like god the carpet's going to be worn out on that hotel floor by the time we talked about him on the episode we did about him on the Patreon he's like a Terminator because it's like I have four pints now and I have a panic attack the next day he's doing like 12 hours of gear and two prostitutes and he goes for breakfast the next morning.

1:20:57It's insane. It's mental, isn't it? How does he have the money? With some other nutteries that off to shop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How does he have the money to do all this? Well, he sort of was, well, allegedly, it seemed like he was a dealer, but I don't think he is anymore. I don't know. I mean, what he's doing now is he does shout outs. Yeah, on Cameo. He does sort of, but he's not on Cameo because again, he can't, he doesn't know how to make a password because he's old enough. Oh, is he just doing a bank transfer? He's doing bank transfer and then what he does, he doesn't know how to send people the videos.

1:21:23So he just puts them on his stories. If you pay for a cameo from DannyB83, he won't send you the video. He'll just do it as a story. And then it's on you to download it. You have to screen record it and send it to your mate for happy birthday. It's like sometimes his stories are just like 40 minutes to be like, all right, this is a shout out for Danny who's in Kent. Like, this is your mate, Neil, says you're a cunt or whatever. And it's like, all right, bye. Amazing. Wow. He's like... But that British chaos of like that madness being brought into people's lives where like I heard people talking about it in the pub.

1:21:59Right. Being like, have you seen what he was doing this morning? Yeah. And it's like that kind of has replaced TV in that way. Well, I loved your story about it when the fella rang you up while you was on holiday and you was talking to them. Oh, mate. Yeah, I'm on holiday with my kids and my missus and I just get... Similar to you, like when I'm away, I try and not use my phone or go on social or post anything and Jake sort of does and I try not to go on it and then yeah some guy just called me out of the blue and was like mate have you watched what he's done I was like what's happening and he's like oh my god he's fallen out with Hannah in Brazil she's dumped him and now he's kicked off at Big Dog Ian and I was like oh my fuck it and I've missed I haven't even watched it so I'm like tell me more tell me more and my miss is looking at me like Jakey put the phone away and I'm like and eventually she's like glaring at me so I have to put the phone down and she genuinely said to me she was like who was that and that's when I realised I didn't know I didn't know who'd called me I didn't even go who's this it was an unknown number fuck knows someone in a group chat has gone Jacob Warner and I think for anyone like me like you see this is like you're into dark so you're slightly more geezer than you in that sense do you know what I mean and so you've got a sleeve tattoo you've got a Rolex you don't need so your brain is slightly more in the same way as me and you I'm slightly more scum than you yeah so that Danny Boy 83 I think it's the thing of like that could have been my life and there's a little bit of like when you're looking after your kids or you're going to work or you're paying your taxes it's like oh I wish I was just pacing around oh you don't see it as a cautionary tale no no I think there's a bit of all of our brains that are like I'd love to do that and then the next morning you wake up and you're holding your kids you're like I'm so glad I'm not doing this there's a part of your brain that's like I wish that was me if I didn't meet Fiona 11 years ago I'd be Danny Boy 83 literally it's that thin of a line there's a part of like every man who has a sleeve tattoo but also a job has got a part of their brain that's like I could have that could have been me you'd be pacing around a hotel room in Brazil doing shout outs to all 15 of Stevie's nieces love it so where are we where are we going to put he's the king he's like make a new make a new level I feel like you've picked really well here so they're all towards the top end yeah king rock I mean if there's someone you've covered who's not rock that would be weird wouldn't it Well, to be fair, we did do Marco Pierre White the other week, and that was just because Jacob like...

1:24:18I think this has been the best advert for your podcast, Known to Man, because you boys know your shit. You really know your shit. I mean, this is the thing. There is some analysis in that we do know our shit, but then we do get people being like, they didn't start talking about the topic until 40 minutes in. Because we're just like Jacob... Talking about sextiles. It's a bit of both. Shall we read the list back then, Stevie? We did a new category, King Rot. Who's in that? DannyBoy83 is King Rot. In utter rot, we've got five. Simon Squibb, Paul Breach, HS Tiki Toki, Sid Batty and Cycling Mikey.

1:24:50White Rotty. Lad Baby. And then Not That Rotty. Angry Ginge and KSI and the Sideman. That is the official screen rot tier list. Everyone was a bit rot. No, not rots. I've got one person I just want to mention to you. I don't know if you know him. Do you know who Mike Stoyanov is? Yes. Oh, you do? I mean, I'm always... I mean, this is always great to be a fan of Stoyadelica. Yeah, yeah. I love that guy. So one thing that we were going to do... Should we explain this to both Steve and the other? Yeah, yeah. What this man is. This is a Bulgarian kid who is a musician? Yeah. He wants to be a Gallagher, doesn't he?

1:25:29He's trying to bring Britpop back. Yeah. And he makes music. And it's okay. The music's all right. It's not good, is it? It's not great. Okay. No. It's funny. It's funny. I'm sure that's what he wants. Yeah. I really just want everyone to put my music funny. Are you even on my side? That's really good. That's really good. Oh, so yeah. So he's kind of like a Britpoppy Gallagher-y thing. He's got the bulletproof confidence of like, no, no, I'm going to fucking make it, man. He's walking down like Camden Market, like lip syncing his... But this is the thing with the internet now. And I think that obviously they, I mean, to be fair as well, they see people like you, right, that have made it by starting with no followers and doing it.

1:26:08Yeah. And so people are encouraged to just... If Jack can make it. You know what I mean? It's like, you see by graft, they do it, right? And it's like, but he encourages people to be like, right, fuck it, I'm going to fake it till you make it. Yeah. And he basically walks around like he is in the biggest band on earth. Yeah. But he's kind of doing like gigs to 20 people. I fucking rate that, man. I've done some gigs to 10 people in my time. and you do have to just and we haven't made it we remember Middlesbrough don't we yeah Middlesbrough and Hull there's always a name on a tour isn't there where it's like oh yeah I remember Middlesbrough yeah I'm doing a stand up tour at the end of this year and there's a couple of those dates I'm like why am I going to Northampton in that list we did we didn't put anyone in not rot have you ever done any research on someone and thought actually no we can't even do this episode or the thing but this is the thing is like we're saying it's kind of like some level of internet presence that's a bit crap right and that's everyone that's everyone I know a priest who has to make reels do you?

1:27:15yeah you know who I'm talking about I won't say his name but he has to do reels for his church he has to go hey guys we're doing the sermon blah blah blah do you know what I mean it's like everyone is doing this shit now everyone is doing on some level everyone has to have some level of social media presence now there's hardly anyone like as we were saying Anton Deck have got a podcast I've literally had a call this morning about starting to do a podcast with Sean Dyche. Like, everyone's doing it. Do you know what I mean? It's like, no one is not rock. My parents are just about not there, but I reckon if my dad got off of the Sean Dyche podcast, he'd probably do it.

1:27:50Warnock had one for a bit. I was guest on it. Did you do it? Yeah, it was me. He did a double record. It was me and then Simon Jordan. Amazing. Amazing. And that just sums up the internet. Yeah, that's about it. Boys, where can people listen to your podcast? we're on Spotify wherever you get it we're on Patreon as well we do loads of extra episodes and all our live shows are on there YouTube and of course we'll be at the Cross Wires Festival yes we will see you there on Friday the 3rd 3rd of July yeah that'll be fun we'll go for a beer yes we will go and get your tickets now crosswires.live yes there we go boys it's been a pleasure thank you so much for having us Jacob and Jake from the Screen Rock Podcast boys we always finish with the same way same question it's a weird one what's the meaning of life we actually have quite a good line on this.

1:28:35Oh, I've forgotten it, so I'll let you deliver it. Well, no, it's like, so we, our recent live show, we had Mike Porky Parry. Right. Oh, yes. Yeah. Do you know Parry? No. Do you know Mike Parry? No. Should I? He, he, Old Talk Sport head. Yeah, he appears on Jeremy Vine quite a lot now. He's the guy who went viral for trying to eat a teaspoon of cinnamon. Okay, I think so. I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So John Cairns loves Porky and he used to do this podcast with Mike Graham and I mean, well, he said it to you. I've done podcasts with Borky in the past, yeah. And I remember once organising to do a podcast with this man.

1:29:09But anyway, this guy's 72 years old and he appears on shit programmes like Good Morning Britain and Jeremy Vine talking about things being too woke. And I find that funny. I used to do this podcast. And I remember once he was arranging a podcast with me and he was like, at the end of the email, he put, whatever happens, Jake, we'll have a shout and a laugh because that is the meaning of life. So that's our line. Have a shout and a laugh. That's the meaning of life. There we go. We'll see you at Cross Wires. We'll have a shout and a laugh. Perfect. Cheers, boys. Nice one. Thank you.

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