675 - Disneyland Drama, Delivery Driver Bribes, & Drunk Tattoos At Download Festival (All Caught Up!)

27:58For those savings, your next girls' night is basically free. Find your perfect match at Walmart.com or at a store near you. Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands for the super athletic stuff, like running gear for cruising up the trail. Woo! And the super athletic-ish stuff, like fishing gear for chilling by the creek. Nice cast. Fitness apparel to push for higher reps. You got this. And golf balls priced so you can afford to lose one. or a few. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it.

28:37Went to Poland, went to a place called Łódź. Heard of it? No. It's spelled L-O-D-Z. Would not have expected that. No, yeah. Sounds L-U-D... L-O-D-Z. Lodz. Lodz. Lodz. But it's pronounced Łódź. And so Fiona kindly got me tickets to go into Kings of Leon over in Wood for my birthday. It was in March. Nice. Now in June. Didn't realise at the time when booking it that Kings of Leon come on stage the same time England kick off their first World Cup. Bit of a nuisance, but still fun to be at the Kings of Leon. They're not going to ruin it there, are they? No, they're not going to ruin it. They're not going to say the score.

29:15Before the gig, Fiona was doing a make-up in her room. I said, I'm going to go. Well, even before that, it's rewind. On the plane over, I was downloading some Wood's content to see what can we do at Łódź. And if you take Łódź Poland into YouTube, the top three videos that come up are Łódź, the shittest place in Poland. Oh. Second one, Łódź, the most dangerous city in Poland. Third one, is Łódź good or rubbish? And so we get there. Łódź has had a bad rep. Łódź good. Łódź good? Łódź very good. Łódź good? Wood's got a bit about it. What's good about Wood? Well, I think I've always noted you one day, but there's like, you know Riverside and Norwich?

30:01You've got all them shops, the little plaza, complex. They've got all these restaurants, right, round in a square. Yeah. Okay, we get what you mean. Yeah. But in the middle, so they've got all these lovely fountains outside the restaurant. And in the middle of this square, they've just done a makeshift beach. So they've just put a beach and there's people just playing volleyball and shit. Would you recommend? I would recommend, Robbie. Good. It was brilliant. One of the things on the YouTube video was, be careful. It's a bit dodgy. And you've had a bit of a scare in Barcelona, didn't you, recently?

30:37Yes. So I knew about this, so I didn't take my watch with me. Didn't take no valuables. We're going to go to watch Kings of Leon. Obviously, World Cup was on, so there's loads of games. So I was like, right, Fiona's going to do her makeup in the room. About three hours. Yeah. so yeah so i'm going to the street i'm gonna sit outside a bar um get some snacks get some beers and watch the portugal game the ronaldo hate watch on my phone i'm there enjoying a couple beers sun's out beautiful got my phone in my left hand got my passport in my right pocket and that's all that matters in this world right now sometimes if i know i'm gonna have a lot of beers i'll get a little nicotine pouch in right so it's like these snuzz things won't get a strong one but i like to have them when i when i have a few beers i went to the shop got a packet of these velo and yeah put them on the table guy geezers come up to me after about 20 minutes local i'd imagine and and he was showing me this bit of paper and pointing at it and i think he was asking me where to go and i knew that was a common tactic for thieves because of the zach all-sock pocket thing so i'm holding my phone in my hand quite tight and i'm just going sorry mate i'm from england i don't know and he's getting quite aggressive i'm like i'm sorry mate i can't help you and then he's gone and i'm just double checking again passport phone and then i'm like look up about a minute later and he's just low level crime yeah six quid i would have given to him if he'd have asked but yeah so that i i'm surprised I'm here to tell the tale.

32:17It went loads better than I thought that. Did it? When it was going, I was thinking you were losing something of value, rather than something that will actually help your health. Maybe he actually just took them and put them in a bin. You don't need that. He was a doctor. He was showing me the mortality rate. You don't have health anxiety in all this. Lovely guy then. Yeah, top man. Top man, top man. How were Kings of Leon? Great. Favourite band. Yeah? Yeah. He's fit, isn't he? Caleb? He is proper fit. Yeah, yeah. Honestly. Like, he's with a Victorian... She's so old. He's with a Victorian child.

32:56No, he's with a Victorian... Why have you said that? That's just because when you hear the word Victorian, the next word you think of is child. You don't go, I'm with a Victorian lady. You hear, look at that small Victorian child. What? Okay. Okay. Yeah, okay. he's with a Victoria's secret model yeah he's with a Victoria's secret model she's beautiful they're always posting on Instagram and honestly I think she's punching sounds like you want to have sex with him yes that's fair enough is the man you'd most like to have sex with Stevie um oh that's oh that has actually put me off so much I was almost thinking before but you are you were keen he was in I had him and then you ruined it I was fluttering my eyelashes guys a lot of good looking men aren't there yeah loads I've got a newfound love for Gosling which I didn't have before after watching there is but after watching that film he was in recently Project Hail Mary he's good in that he's not up there for me good looking man Toronto Blue Jays Ernie Clement for me eyes eyes Ernie Clement I'm googling it We're all googling it, listeners, aren't we?

34:14See whether or not we boon him. Ernie Clement. Lovely smile. Oh, you like it? Not for me, Robbie. Not for me. Yeah, he's got very bright eyes, though. He's got big eyes. I'm not into his nostrils. What? I'm not into his nostrils. That's so specific. He looks a bit better there with the shorter hair. Yeah. Oh, he's got a package. Has he? Oh, that might be a cup. I was a bit too keen with the has he?

34:43Oh. So, yeah, no, he's a beautiful man. Beautiful band. Great. They were good. Yeah. The crowd were shit. Oh, really? I have never... I saw your Instagram story. Yeah, no reaction yet. It's madness. At one point, I think they did like a more known... I think they did like you somebody or something, so the crowd sung along, and he just went, that's more like it. So I think that was it. I was aware. He barely spoke to the crowd. He complimented Poland at one point. He said, we've been on tour a little while now. Was getting a little homesick. We came to Poland today and the sun was out. And suddenly the world didn't feel so bad.

35:21So he couldn't. And I got my Rosie to nick me some snooze.

35:26Yeah, so he couldn't even compliment the crowd. It was weird. I had about three pints before we got there. I had five during the gig. Well, I'm a legend. So eight is quite a bit, isn't it? And I was sober, right? and I was going, what's going on there? Because I was on the back end of a cold as well. Normally that makes one beer makes you feel like you're back free. So I was going, what's going on there? And when I left, I looked at the beer sign, 3%. Okay, I quite like that. That's not one. Do you? Yeah, I won't have lots of beer without getting too hammered. That's because it didn't not feel nice that you then weren't smashed.

35:59You're like, actually, I'm all right, yeah. Yeah, it was fine. Yeah, I just went back to the hotel and watched the England game. But that's why... So when I say the crowd were bad, I'm trying to now determine what I... Are you saying they weren't drunk enough? They weren't very enthusiastic. Lively. They weren't lively. Some countries are like that. Canada's fairly similar, I think. Yeah. But Wednesday night in Woods, how often do Kings of Leon come to these parts, enjoy it, embrace it, go nuts, get hammered? Maybe. I mean, Wednesday night, there might have something on the next day. Yeah, they might all have work the next day.

36:29True. True. Maybe because they don't come, they don't know what gigs are like, so they just stand there. I don't know. I don't know much about Woods what were you doing because it's awkward to try and get into something if everyone around you isn't either me and Fee were shaking a shoulder yeah having a little boogie having a sing song yeah we were getting involved did you get any looks where people thinking you were weird for doing that did I get any looks probably did get looks but not in a weird way just in a that's a cool guy do you think it's an age thing now because it's a band that's been around for a while because I find when i see bands now from my youth bands from the 90s or something like that or even or even noughties as well that the crowds don't really move very much mostly unless you're very close to the front but we we've i've seen i've seen like the bands and the artists that the young whippersnappers love and they people move that's what i'm talking about that's what you're saying that's what i'm saying i'm not saying because it's an older older band is it a mostly older crowd who don't move as much i don't know i saw the streets last summer and people were into them yeah yeah i don't know yeah i really i really don't know um we saw um guns and roses and the crowd were pretty bad for them don't know do you want to talk about this yeah yeah cannot wait oh take it away jack right so we did a jack and stevie video uh a guy called stew i found this out at 2 a.m jack was messaging me to tell me about this during the scotland Scotland, Haiti game.

38:05A couple of weekends ago now, a guy called, well, a month ago, a guy called Stu commented on our Jack and Stevie website and said, you should come to Download Festival, Europe's biggest rock festival, and get immersed in rock culture. Supposed to be brilliant, by the way. Everything I've heard. I've heard amazing things. Our friend Rob Kellis and the rest of the TPD boys, they sing the praise. Did you see them there? I didn't, no, I didn't. But they say that Download's one of the best. Lovely sunglasses, by the way. Have you seen their sunglasses? Yeah. I bought some. I have seen them. Very good.

38:33Do they block out sun? They block out sun. They fit well. Very well made. Yeah, just good. Lovely. I was debating getting some. I would recommend. How much are they? £60, which I think is quite reasonable. Not bad. I've got my bag if you want to see them. I'll do a brutal, honest review of them. Will you? On YouTube. Okay. That's the first video you come back with. Yeah, for an hour. Yeah, I will check them out soon. Like your pair, and then decide if I want to move forward. So he comments, We got a viewer's pick gold envelope. We go there. We're dressed up in punk rock shit. Yeah. I've got eyeliner on.

39:09He told us to like try and get fully immersed in it and told us to fully dress up. I was in like a denim vest with studs all over it. We're not actually going to put the video, the pictures in here because we want you to go and see the video. Oh, we're doing that. It'll be on Instagram. Just a good look at that. And then I had trousers that had buckles all over them and I just kept cutting myself on them. So like I've still, look. Jesus Christ all over I was just bleeding constantly because of these you bleed for rock and roll Robbie I know I do I was genuinely I was just bleeding all day I'd just catch myself on this stupid buckle and he was we just got out of the car and there was blood all down his arms like you're gonna have a shit day I just they were stupid the trousers were silly but I think we looked I had black nails like I think we went alright I looked alright I look quite emo-y I think you I'm gonna see my camera around us a couple of weeks maybe i'll borrow your outfit yeah yeah yeah you can i think you looked very camp yeah that's normal for me though but but i think the rock world does go hand in hand yeah under that campness doesn't it yeah i don't think we stood out no we didn't stand out i like the guy that came up to you and said my identity is not your he said what are you dressed like this for i said oh we wouldn't normally come here so i'm just dressed in all this rock stuff as part of the video and he said what did he say my culture isn't my culture is not your costume we just let stew told us to do it yeah yeah yeah so so so we're there stew showing us around the day started off pretty intense like we'd just got there we'd just bought our first beer and he was like come and crowd surf he gave us a bingo card of things to do at download festival good and crowd surfing getting in a mosh pit and crowd surfing were a couple of the things and we were like okay maybe we'll never crowd surf he actually told us we were going to mosh pit so He made us leave all our cameras and stuff with Fi.

40:59He filmed it on his 360. And we got put in a mosh pit. Have you been in a mosh pit before? Yeah, I've been in a mosh pit. What do you think of mosh pits? I'm not getting your mental running together mosh pit. I'm not in that. But I might have been down the front. We were listening to a band called Landmarks. I quite enjoyed the music during that. It's very screamy, very heavy. But I quite liked it as well. And we're in the mosh pit. Bang, bang, bang. Getting knocked a bell. I'd only been there 20 minutes at the festival. you would have had a drink first we had one beer yeah I hadn't oh I shut down my beer before going in yeah I hadn't had anything I was stone cold sober people were falling over and people would pick them back everyone was lovely the culture of it's quite good because at one point mid mosh everyone just stops because someone puts a hand up and they're like someone's lost their watch and then everyone just points at the hand that's got the thing and that's quite good and then all of a sudden Stu was like shouting at me up up I was like what and he grabbed our legs and just put us and then all before we knew it stevie and i was quite nice in it you should do it like it i was crowd surfing because i've never done it before i don't really i've seen people crowd surf i don't really know what happens i didn't know that when you crowd surf the way to get down is that they just push you over the barriers at the front and i was getting pushed and i was thinking fuck i'm getting kicked out i'm not meant to be crowd surfing they're gonna kick me out and they just put me over this barrier and i'm like what do i do and the security was like oh you just walk around there's a door get back in over there i was like okay it's quite a good way it's quite fun it's a quick way out of the crowd yeah yeah the security guard that grabbed me went fucking hell i've just caught jack me that's been a weird day but it was it was a lot of fun i really enjoyed that then we went on stage at this small little outback bit and we did a hot dog eating competition good that was good fun yeah how did you do well so it was a relay it was a speed thing rather than an amount themes are four how quickly can you eat this hot dog tagging your mate and that's whoever gets all their hot dogs done first.

42:53He pissed me off. I did piss him off. Right, Robbie. Now, I wouldn't normally care, right? Hear me out here. Okay. Don't just offend me because you prefer me to Stevie, please. Okay. I won't. You didn't deny it. I didn't. I'm typing you in. He's the most competitive guy in the world, right? He's not, maybe not in the world, but he's pretty competitive. He's top ten, isn't he? Top ten, I don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, he didn't make, it wasn't making any sense to me we won our first game match so you go off and then you wait to play another winner later on but he was fourth in our relay but because the other team basically who we were playing against bailed they couldn't complete it yeah we got a bye like yeah so i was third and i've just finished mine stevie just started and they went you're through you're through so he's taking the hot dog off stage bear in mind we might have to do another six of these and he stood there eating the fucking hot dog and I'm like do we want to win this or not?

43:54Leave the hot dog. You're hungry. This is 2pm and I've not eaten anything yet. You got breakfast on the way. You're going back up in like one minute. Yeah. However, second round started I was at the front I beat the person to my right so I don't know what happened after me. This ain't got anything to do with it. No, because I smashed it next round. You might have had to have another five hot dogs if you were out there. I wouldn't have. I'd been fine. You had breakfast I didn't so surely we had about the same amount anyway. stop whinging I just think if that was me you'd be going what are you doing what are you doing so that's why I made stop doing that voice what that's how you thought either way doesn't matter yeah hot dog eating competition was fun though we didn't win you had to the hot dog the rolls were basically baguettes they were big yeah big hot dog lovely hot dog yeah you had to put ketchup yeah part of the competition is you had to make it as well crispy onion and a dill pick pickle they ran out of a pickle at the end, but the host was like, you need the pickle, but they'd ran out.

44:53So one of our mates just got all the pickle juice and just covered it. Just soaked this hot dog in pickles. Right, now this is where it gets really interesting. Stevie got fucking hammered. Seen videos. I'm scared of seeing the actual video. At this point, the video will be live on Jack and Stevie. Hammered. I've not seen any of it. Fiona, bless her, she came with us, helped us film, and she said she'd drive us back because we were both drinking. So she'd drive us back from Nottingham to Norwich at 11 to half two, whatever. Boris Johnson. So about 5pm, she was like, right, I'm going to go back to the car and have a nap.

45:33She went back to the car. Stevie and I just sat in the same place just drinking these 6 % cocktails. Oh, they were so good. Yeah, it was good. Feet box, a lovely thing. And then all of a sudden, you just could barely stand up. I'll tell you what happened in that amount of time. For some reason, someone let me get a tattoo. Now, I have no idea. I don't remember bits. Do you remember going for the tattoo? Yeah, so basically... Was it your idea? No. So the guy we were with said we should do tattoos. I was like, actually, it's quite good for the video. One of the things on the bingo card we had was mad tattoo.

46:09And that meant like we need to find someone with a mad tattoo. But we were like, you know what? This should count if I do the thing. And what I was saying to Jack, we'll do tattoos. And he kept going, I'm not. I was like, oh, fuck it, I'll do it. You kept going to the camera. Me and Jack are both getting tattoos, right? And I went as drunk as you. And I kept going, I'm definitely not getting a tattoo. And he was like, we'll see. So you've been on this podcast saying how you're going to get any tattoos that mean something to you and all this sort of stuff. You've done that on here before. Yeah, and now Jack and Stevie have got a fucking lad baby tattoo.

46:36And now I'll show you it. And you're hitting the one. Well, this is bad as well. I'll show you this. so i'm at this um queue for the tattoos but it's a really big queue and the there's a girl who comes over and she's like look it's all booked today you can come back and have it done tomorrow um and i was like oh we're leaving today so don't worry and she was like let give me an hour and come back she comes back and she's like there's a guy who's tattooing the artists backstage back behind the main stage and he's got a gap if you want to go there and she was like will your wrist bands get you there we were like no but we walked through the little guest bit and as we got to the artist bit we all just hit our wrists and just walked straight through which is a bit naughty but we got through and then i didn't know what i was getting tattooed either because the guy stew that we're with said uh what we're getting so i was like yeah all right cool i remember you saying i like it i saw all the choices you could get some of them were good some of them was like i read the messages i got from him oh i don't even know what this is gonna be right i saw a little capybara that had a little collar on with spikes and i was like i like capybaras that could be funny i these are so funny right where was it um he said the various voice notes he said let me describe it before you see it it's massive it's a dog with its head on fire can you play your your voice note reaction from that was so good

48:16so download has a mascot which is download dog right and we got to meet download dog so it made is that what this is so it's download dog with his head on fire okay um i'll show you it if you want yeah see now my issue is placement right above the hh yeah hh with dog head on fire does look a bit nasty symbolic way more nasty now yeah yeah uh yeah if certainly if you're having if you're going to be in a motorcycle accident and there's a risk they might have to ambetate one of your legs try and fall that way okay so this is this is what we're dealing with robbie yeah oh i shaved around yeah it's the dog head on fire yeah it's a dog's head on fire which is probably the least me tattoo i could have ever gotten and you know what on the day right and and i can't wait for you to see the video back right because because he was steaming he kept coming up to me i was going oh wait it's still not as bad as your tattoos though is it and i'd be looking at the camera and he couldn't hear me saying this but i was going don't know mate is a dog's head on fire i need to stop drinking i need to stop drinking right so so at two in the morning i knew robbie would be up because scotland were playing haiti um i so i messaged robbie and alfie was in america so he was up as well so i i messaged alfie as well and said that you got a tattoo and he's gone ha ha ha what what did he get I've seen him the picture I said no idea why but he got this and Alfie replied this I hope you can hear me but is that a pug surrounded by flames?

50:00what actually is it? it's fucking horrific it has no relevance to him at all and it is incredibly ugly can I can I give you my opinion it might not be what you expect i think it's fucking brilliant sphee i think it's great because in years to come you're back and your grandkids are gonna go what's that and you're gonna say it's a tattoo of a dog's head on fire i got when i was shit face at downloads festival because i used to be a legend and they're gonna go joe what granddad's a bit less of a cuck than we thought i think it's brilliant i think it's so good it's a story story yeah i'm okay with the story side of it but after super hooch and now this i do need to maybe just not go as heavy on the i think you're in your legend era i think you could i think your 30s are your era yeah i think this is much better are the comments not gonna just go that's embarrassing not the tattoo but just i i haven't seen the video you've shown me but the video you've shown me watching guns and roses have you shown that to robbie yeah i've seen it you haven't yeah great you're at There's a video.

51:11We're watching Guns N' Roses. Slash is playing guitar on stage and Jack pans to me as the song ends. I'm wavy. I'm proper wobbling. The song ends. I don't remember doing this, but I just put up the devil fingers. I'm like, yeah. Good. What about that? Slash? That's Slash, yeah. Yeah. Guns N' Roses. The guitarist. I thought it was Axl Rose. Yeah. Yeah, he's a singer. Lead singer. Slash guitarist. On My Life. Slash is the one with the curly hair. On my life, when I was watching it, I did not once see Slash. The video you sent me of me that it's Slash playing. I promise you, I was just looking at the bloke running around in the middle.

51:51I didn't see Slash. Slash is literally the guitarist. Is Slash, is he still in it? I don't know what the band is now. Watch the video. It's the guy with the big top hat thing. We're going to overlay it. We'll cut to it now.

52:29Fuck it up. It was good. It was a good day. I will say everyone there was sound as a pan. Yeah. Lovely. Rock boat crowds are generally great. I don't remember Guns N' Roses at all. No, no. I remember when they first, because they did a three and a half hour set, which is mental, but I wanted to watch a bit of All American Rejects. So we were walking past Guns N' Roses and they were sitting, I remember that. I remember All American Rejects. Do you remember us walking past the main stage going, who the fuck's that? Because they weren't singing a Guns N' Roses song. They were, they were doing, oh no, they were doing Live and Let Die.

52:57Yeah, Live and Let Die. And I was going, who the fuck's that? And then we went on the little lineup and we went out, oh, who the fuck's that? But then we saw, I remember that. And then I remember walking back over to Guns N' Roses, then nothing. Then I remember leaving you. You did Sweet Child of Mine, and then they did like three or four more songs, but you left us about 45 minutes before. I was like, I just need to go to the car. And I remember walking, and it took me over like an hour to get to the car, which was only a 20 minute walk away. Well, your big problem, Stevie, when you was pissed, is you text me, right?

53:26You text me and Fee and went, where are you? And I put at Guns N' Roses. And then when I got to the car, You went, oh, I text asking where I, you basically wanted to know where you were. So you wanted to say, where am I? But you actually said, where are you? But I don't remember talking. I can't see Guns N' Roses. I don't remember talking to you because I remember walking back to the car. I remember getting in the car. The next thing I knew I woke up and I was at Mildenhall Roundabout. Yeah, you was only sort of murmuring, but you were laid across. Because when we got back to the car, Fiona and I were an hour after you and I went, he's not fucking here.

54:00I was like, where is he? And then I realised you were laid down on the back seats, but Fiona's got a little desk that she uses to edit in the car and you was using the desk. It looked like the most uncomfortable thing ever. I don't remember at all, but download was fun up until the points I don't remember. From athletic stuff like a full-court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff like a half-mile stroll. Get those steps in. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar and vitamins.

54:35Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. I didn't like what you said, Odin pauses, about the future. This is the love story of real hinge couple Odin and Edward, written and read by me, Curtis Garner. Listen to the free audiobook now And then I woke you up at Mildon Hall And I was like right You need to get some food in you That'll make you feel better tomorrow So you were like You were like Big Mac or whatever Quarter of a hour So you got that And then I was telling you about a bloke That we met at Download called Gary Right And I was like this guy come up to us called Gary And you was in the back seat eating a burger And you just went Fucking Gary he must be the last person called gary i remember laughing at that because i was going who looks at a baby and calls it gary yeah i was just smashing i remembered that and then yeah then just gone can we please just get stevie drunk all the time i love it i'm really scared of can i please come out sometime yeah yeah yeah we need to do the pub crawl don't we do anything we to do some stuff yeah let's go to barcelona i'm really i'm so up for that like i'm if we're gonna do it i'll organize it yeah okay are we gonna do it let's do a jess and stevie there just yeah okay can i have a little rest of drinking no when are we gonna do it

56:13august you've kicked that can down the road in east kick the can to the busy the middle of the school holidays. Well, you just mentioned Jack and Steve. Well, then it'll have to be after September. Bonus vid. Vlog. Okay, yeah, it could just be that. Well, maybe give him a bit of enthusiasm. Whenever you're ready, Steve, you tell me. The thing in my current state... You're away quite a bit at the minute. No, no, no, it's not that. Go on, go on. In my current state... Mentally vulnerable minute. Mentally, I have not seen this footage back. I know the hooch episode went out, and I'm scared of reading the comments on that because I'm just drunk, and then I have not seen this video.

56:45Funny, though. I'm scared. funny to the people but is it embarrassing? It's legend behaviour it is embarrassing to what? To my life. No, no, no. Okay, I'm so scared of seeing the footage. That's where my head's at. I need to see this and you guys can see it now. Like, it's out. You've got control of that. There's anything particularly bad you can cut. When you're drunk you're a lover, not a fighter so you don't hurt anyone. Well, I don't think I was going to hurt. I hurt my fucking self with this tattoo, didn't I? And the spikes on your costumes. Yeah, I hurt myself constantly. I went to I've got a perfect I'm not going to tell you the moral of the story here until I've told you the quick story and it might sound like why are you bringing this up?

57:24Do you want us to decide the moral? No but it would give away the ending right but so I went to Yarmouth on Saturday with my sister we wanted to get some fish and chips and the sun was nice The sun was nice? It's the sun sometimes shit The sun's always the fucking same The weather was nice The sun's always the sun. Sun's not rain. But they're your fucking mobber down there, so you couldn't move for motorbikes. Oh, the motorbike not, were they? My boys. Yeah, it was a car show once, you couldn't drive up the prom in my head, so I was like, oh, fuck this off. So we went to Hemsby, got fish and chips.

58:01By the way, Thatcher's Britain, how much do you think this costs, right? Two bits of cod, two chips, medium, two curry sauce. Genuine? Right. Because you know it's going to be mental now, don't you? Well, I'm going to say what I reckon. Cods, eight quid each. That was my prediction. Right, 16 then. 16. Yeah. Chips, three each. Three quid each. Okay, so that's 22. Curry sauce, one or two? Two. Two curries, one fifty each, so three quid. So 25 for the two. 25, yeah. Yeah. 34 quid. Wow, that's horrific. 34 quid. Anyway, we go out on this long bench. I'm sat opposite my sister. The bench is populated.

58:44There's next to me, large sort of Mexican looking fella. Opposite him is a bloke, hench. Yeah. Look quite scary. Okay. Right. Beard? Yeah, beard. I think he had a shaved head. Glasses. Not trying to generalize, but he looked like he could fuck me up. Right? And he was sat there. What's that generalizing? There's loads of people. He looked a bit like, he didn't look dirty, but he looked a bit rough. He looked like he might be violent. Yeah. Okay. And I'm sitting there eating fish and chips, talking to my sister, and these two aren't talking. So I'm kind of thinking, I'm like, what's going on with them?

59:34They're just eating their food, and they've not said anything in about 15 minutes. I'm like, it's a bit awkward. And he keeps, the guy opposite me, the rough looking dude he keeps like looking at me and then i was just like god i really think he's getting pissed off with me and my sister talking because they want their silence or whatever yeah and then all of a sudden it's like really scary dude just goes are you jack mate and i went hello and he went oh my god he went i used to watch it like he was the campus guy ever right and he was just the loveliest bloke and he just went what are you doing hemsby and i I was like, just getting some fish and chips.

1:00:12He's like, oh, yeah, it's really good here. But if you go down there, there's a better one down there. Anyway, lovely to meet you. And I was like, you too. And I was like, you cannot judge a book by its cover because I was scared of him for about 15 minutes. And then he was just lovely. And I think they might have been in a relationship, which was really cute. Well, couldn't have been going very well because I hadn't spoke for about 15 minutes. Do you know the one time I think you can, the time I do judge books by their covers with books? Because don't we know how else to judge them? because unless i've read the book or someone's told me about the book that's literally what i've got to go off of yeah you never like get lord of the rings open it up as hungry caterpillar no that is lord of the bookshop i don't know any of the books yeah what else are we gonna do random number generator that's a good point that's a good point thank you good point noxy nox you done anything before we wrap up done so i've been to um been to paris with becky to do The YouTube video.

1:01:05The video. Boozy. Yeah. Don't fully remember the latter stages. You didn't seem that bad at the end of it. No, we went on afterwards to a few pubs. Did you? See, this is what I should do. Post-string. Do the continue once camera off. Yeah. Yeah, I also think I cope better with being hammered than Becky, because she seems to remember more overall with it, but I think I'm better at... Composure. I look less mental. Right. Than she. She would say something insane and just go, I'm absolutely steaming. Yeah. you drink more than you no we drink we drink a similar amount but i'm obviously taller than her um but um so we did did that um we also got another trip planned for becky that's going to be good because i'm planning a video i've told you about but i can't mention now what it is i'm doing is becky doing that with you she's not doing that she's going to meet me at the end so we're going to end up in the end of the video that i'm doing is going to end up in boston in america um and we're then going to have a few days hanging out in boston that's cool that's going to be a good all caught up after that yeah yeah that's cool when are you doing that september so a bit of time to go marathon is september i don't know when it is but i'm not going to be doing the boston marathon partly because you have to qualify for it i'm very slow running you do yeah oh well you have to have a good time you have to have a qualifying time oh really what no one could it's an actual race it's the thing yeah it's the hardest one to get into because you have to be good at running oh i didn't realize yeah so i said that's one of many reasons i won't be running the boston right um but yeah so that's going to be a good that's a good you told us over a story and then i found that i found that out i've did we're arranging that so obviously it's right at the end of baseball season so i'll go and watch go to fenway park to watch some baseball that'd be good guess what else i found out's happening that week by chance weezer playing in boston oh your favorite band yeah wow so yeah and you didn't plan it to fit with that just a book but the flight and they're like oh hang on what else is going on at the time that could rival your old um birthday champions league uh oasis thing probably won't no it won't fine it'll just be quite a fun week i think so yeah so future future besides that though really i'm not really pulling my weight in terms of all court ups that's all right you passed us the ball we're on a dribble you are on we'll be crossing that back in for you to head home soon yeah yeah how's your lotty there yesterday neglected a little bit hadn't been for a couple of weeks things grow up quick when you at this time of year if you've not been there for a couple of weeks you've burnt your nips what?

1:03:36you've burnt your parsnips parsnips are fine they're going some things are some things are I miss my window to harvest my radishes I didn't really take advantage of that they've got a bit when people come to see us at Crosswires tickets still available this is going out I can bring some when people came to see us at Crosswires I gave them some vegetables if I remembered yeah yeah yeah yeah so yeah so that was that was singing it's good singing you've been singing a little bit not not as much as i'd like i've not i've been quite busy right in a way quite a bit it is good to be busy yeah but i'm coming to a phase of being less busy which i'm quite looking forward to as well it's good with the school holidays coming up yep but this is before the school holidays august is when it tails off for me i've had four busy months yeah festivals as well yeah oh yeah but once the festival season's out of the way it's chill season i won't do anything i won't be here i won't be doing this what are you gonna do during chill season fortnight fair i'll go to capen hagen with lucas graham on wednesday so that's a mental sentence once i was here in years old to tune that yeah absolutely no um so yeah so i'm doing a is capen hagen good or rubbish with Lucas the singer.

1:04:53There you go. So he will have some stories. I've got someone I want to recommend for your series who I think would be good. Okay. Jamie Hutchinson. Brilliant. Go up Manchester and do a little... Love to. Yeah, he'd be great. That would be good. He would be very good. Yeah. You're welcome. What? For the recommendation? For the recommendation. Okay. Okay. Thank you. And the 100 ,000 views. Thank you. Nice. I'm no part of that. I've got one... Oh, Jamie. Excuse me. I've got one last thing I do want to ask you guys for an opinion on. Yeah, it is very grey. Yeah, no, I know that. Yeah, and what are you doing?

1:05:31I had a Karen moment quite bad, though. No, you? No. Not to accompany or anything to another human. Oh. And we had an argument to this woman I don't know. And I made a girl cry. What? I made a small child cry. Fuck. Yeah, now. What did you do? We've been saying all episodes you're in your legend era. Wait, you might think I'm a legend for making her cry. You wait. I can't imagine what. Not much. I can't imagine what making a child cry. I'm not sure if it was me or if she's crying at her mum who's a twat. It was you. I think she was embarrassed by her mum. I don't like this. I think she was embarrassed by her mum.

1:06:13So I took Isaac to Disneyland for his birthday. Paris? Paris, yeah. and um this day one we really enjoyed being there but we just found everyone to be so so rude that's the french

1:06:33fuck it yeah genuinely that is something we realized that the nice people i spoke to for the day i met a couple of americans they were lovely spanish people were lovely any french person was fucking so rude some french people lovely lot not at disneyland they were not a lot not a lot right but day one like people were bumping into isaac not apologizing we'd hold doors open they wouldn't say anything then they just shut the doors on us like it was just like it just got a lot after day one day two as we were walking in we had a little bit of it happening we're thinking like oh it's 30 degrees it's too much like people are being so rude the sun was nice and when we when we went in on day we were flying that night so we had our backpacks so I was like we were flying that night we were flying that night alright bye Mickey French are cunts

1:07:31so we were flying so we had our backpacks for the flight so we couldn't leave them at the hotel holding your helmet suddenly if you're off so I was like I'll leave them in the luggage bit and as I was queuing for the luggage there was a guy just like this behind me constantly like literally about two inches from me and i'm thinking this is so like no one behind him so why are you stood so close to me and i was just thinking that's so uncomfortable so i'd move a little bit then he'd just move again and he'd be a couple of inches from me and i'm thinking what the fuck is happening i get to the front of the queue give my bag in this isn't the situation with the girl but this already got me riled this riled me up um but i got to the front i gave my bag in and then i had to go to a window to pay so me and this guy are like 10 foot apart now and I figured cool I've got a bit of breathing space and then I um Isaac comes over to me and Ariane could see from the distance that this guy was just crazy close to me the whole time and he was like Isaac just went was that guy just like stood on you and I was like yeah it was quite weird and then Isaac walks away and then the guy I'm waiting to pay at the window and the guy just comes back over and stands on me again and I can just feel him like I can actually he's touching me and I'm thinking what the fuck is happening and because Isaac then noticed it from a distance.

1:08:36I was like, what is happening? So I just turned to him and I'm like, can I have some space please? And he just took a step back and threw his arms up like I'd done something wrong. So I was then in this mood like people are pissing me off. I don't know. He didn't say anything. Because different countries have very different, like Sweden, they want miles. Do they? Scandinavians want loads of money. They want space. They want loads of space. If you said, yeah, but like you sort of, if you're like a normal conversation thing, they'd be like, back a little bit. I was already riled up at this point and then we go into the park and half the rides were closed which was frustrating us because what had then happened because half the rides were closed i was busy all the queues then went to all the other ones so the queues like an hour and a half for any ride pretty much was like you know what let's not do that let's just do like the shows and stuff today and we can get out of the sun as well so we went to like the little theater shows and stuff but isaac when we went a few years ago never saw the parade that we saw when we went so it's like oh we'll watch the parade if we go early enough we can get a good spot as well and we got a really good spot we were right at the right at the front of the crowds and about 25 minutes before the parade actually started well too early yeah well because there was nothing else to do mate all you could do is fuck me that is key there were loads of other people also there for the beatles yeah i wouldn't get that early for the world cup final we're at the front of this thing but we're still like miles down where it is like the whole thing's rammed but people kept still walking across the road at the moment because before if it hadn't started yet you could and then about 15 minutes before the parade starts a woman who must have been early 50s just walks in front of us and we move out of the way thinking she's going to cross and she just sits on the curb at Isaac's feet we're like what's happening here and she just doesn't say anything and then we're like getting a bit confused and there's a woman next to us who's got two little kids of her and she's like what's happening and we just don't say anything we leave it and then about two minutes before the parade starts a person who worked at disney came over and told the woman she needs to stand up because you can't be on the road and she just stands up just in front of isaac and we're like what are we gonna do and then she turns and starts calling her family over oh no yeah team stevie arianne instantly just went no and i was like oh okay we're in this now then and the woman's going what and then we go no and then her and arianne have like a bit of a back and forth because she i think she could understand us but she was acting like she couldn't she just repeat the same things back to us which is a bit weird and then this little girl comes over who's already crying so before she comes over a little bit and then i say to the woman's like if you come out she can go through she can have the front with isaac they can both stand at the front but you're not staying there and she's like huffing and like throwing her hands up going no no and we're like but you've pushed in and like other people are all watching it and it gets to a point we're properly arguing with this woman but she can't i don't i don't know we keep going no stop and she goes yes stop and we're going just move and i i say go i turn to the girl and just go just walk through but you're coming out the woman walks out and she starts ranting at us and i don't know why i just looked at her and she went shut up i was so pissed off i just had arian looked at me and was like what's just happened i just told this woman shut up and then her husband was next to her he didn't involve get involved to do anything yeah he's seen this before but because of that i just turned to him and just went she's walked in front of our son the kids are all at the front that's fine and he just goes he just will not get involved at all and the little girl's at the front and i just say look we're leaving it there we'll leave it that and we turn little girl just walks back out and she's just blah her eyes she's like not wanting to be involved in it but they then stand behind us and about 10 minutes into the parade i look back and they're still quite they can't see a thing and she's just consoling her and she's crying loads but the family next to us turns and just goes thank you so much um it's my daughter's birthday and he's she's just fully blocked her as well so they were really nice but then another family came over and tried to get in front as well but to prove a point i just said to her i was like you can't go forwards but your kid can go through this gap so i think everyone around us was like you've done the right you've done the right thing yeah but i was like i was so done with how rude people were as soon as i said shut up why have I just told this and I said it quite I was like shut up stop I was like fine Steve fine fine Legendera continues the juxtaposition between you shouting shut up at a French woman and Mickey Mouse going it's a big thing it was a weird shut up Isaac watch the fun shut up it was an awkward situation that was quite good that was weird but we then got to see the whole thing and I turned maybe like 15 minutes into bread and they were gone so they left I don't know where they went but she was rude and just expected to then just bring her family through which was her, another woman, the kid and then her husband and I was just like nah, we're not having this I'll tell you where I went recently that's amazing Efteling in Netherlands V's been banging on about this for years so good so good I've had to come and say about this just really it's not the sort of corporate-y type thing and it's got none of the shits that you get out of a lot of theme parks.

1:13:49There's none of that. Joe, I hate in British theme parks. I don't know if they do in Disney. The pushing in queue where you can pay extra. Yeah, yeah. I'm not talking, to be clear, disabled kids and kids with special needs who, for whatever reason, need to not queue up. I'm talking about the one where Jeremy Hunt's fucking running the theme park. He can pay money to go and push in the queue. It has the worst thing. Fast track. I think, Joe, what? let kids get out of childhood before they understand how the world works. Let them get out of that and just do that. But yeah, I hate all that stuff.

1:14:21I think when I got invited to something, I go, what was the theme park? It was something and it had that. I refuse to let my kids use it. They're like, why don't we go now? I go, not doing that. Not doing that. So yeah, but it's none of that stuff. It's all just really lovely, all sort of like independency, sort of fun things, really friendly. Great. Is it an actual theme park? so there's big roller coasters and stuff like that and so Arlo's done loop the loop things before he was the daredevil did that there's a sort of loop the loop there there's a couple of loops called the python and Otto eventually on like day two or day two or three he said he was going to do it first one so he went on with me he went on and did it was he shitting himself he went talk to me distract me so I don't think about it talk to me before it was good he wanted to do it but was scared good take on your fears good work son did it Sotter did his first ever Loop the Loop, followed by his next 50 Loop the Loops.

1:15:16Immediately after, he went on and on and on again, doing all these sort of stuff. He loved it, did he? Oh, he loved it. Now he's looking up at every theme park, and this one's, we should go to Texas to this one. The guy in Slough. So yeah, he was really into that. But it's such a lovely theme park, and really friendly. We stayed on site. Brilliant. That's cool. Yeah, Fee's banged on about that for a number of years. We thoroughly recommend Efteling. Big up, Efteling. Love it. I've got a real quick one, a little minute one. But you shouted shut up at a woman, a woman in Yarmouth, about a month ago, but I only just remember this, thought I hit her.

1:15:52What? She thought I hit her. What do you mean, I thought? How can someone think you hit them? I'm at a hot dog van. Yeah? Me, my sister and Fiona were there. Fiona and my sister sitting on the bench eating fish and chips. You tried to hit Fiona and your sister and actually hit them. I'm waiting for my hot dog. I'm waiting to order a hot dog. this couple come over probably 50 years old gets right in front of me i'm the only one there as well were they french yeah they were french yeah um so i was like nah so i sort of just got back in front of them used my uh sort of british passive aggressiveness um they were going like fucking hell like all right mate like they're trying to mug me off a bit i was so she sits down at the bench i've ordered now it's now matey's turn to order i'm stood behind her she keeps looking back at me and she's hammered these people yeah she's got a cheek on her hand like this and she keeps looking at back at me and like tutting and just doing she's horrible gross and um just after she turns around looks at me gives me a little sneer looks back so you hit her a seagull that my my sister had thrown a chip and the seagull came got the chip but flew behind this I swear, flew behind this woman and a wing, right, has hit this woman in the head about a second after she glared at me and has gone directly up, right?

1:17:15The woman turns around, looks at me, dead in the eyes and goes, really? And I'm just there like, I have not just hit a woman. I have not just hit a woman. And I couldn't go seagull because it had fucked right up. Luckily, there was this other lad there who had recognised me from YouTube, bit of a G, and he was stood at a different stall and he saw the whole thing. So luckily, if she'd told husband, husband tries to kill me, I get G. G help. I love the idea because if you even tried to explain to her, a seagull didn't just come down and hit me and fuck off. It slapped her proper. But there we go.

1:17:53This has been good fun. I told a woman to fuck off a couple of years ago. If we talk about times we've abused women. Was it in a nightclub? No, it was in the street. it was at about three and a mile it was when I was going to do my country drinking video and I was walking from Bethnal Green where I stayed in a hotel to I was walking to Liverpool Street not the nicer areas lived in London for years no London scams, no London things and this woman who seemed to be possibly on crack maybe on crack but she was certainly, it didn't seem that she was overly, I didn't think she was being particularly French.

1:18:37It just looked like she was coming over to greet me nicely. She sort of came over and there was a guy riding behind her on a bike and she said to me, can I borrow your phone for a second? Didn't want to borrow a phone. Wanted a steel phone. Yeah. So that's what I told her to fuck off. Did you say straight away? Yeah. Yes, I did. Because I know exactly how this is going to go and you have to show very firmly that you know what's going to happen here. Yeah. And she did indeed. She accepted the fuck off. Well, she didn't say anything about that. She didn't argue, no. Neither did the guy. I just crossed the road and walked off the other way.

1:19:07She fucked off. She fucked off with this guy. But yeah, it was a clear plan here. So yeah, I'm not normally to the fuck off. With all abused women. Hey, the man who's not abused women. Weirdly, the one who... I mean, there's barely a video with the woman on my channel where they don't end up hurt. Weirdly, the one who told someone to shut up was the least bad. Yeah. You hit a woman and he told someone to fuck off. Yeah. True, you just made a little child cry. This has been Jack Mates Happy Hour podcast. You're all caught up, baby, all caught up. See you soon. Did you hear? Yeah, fucking clumped it, mate, honestly.

1:19:38Spark, man.

1:19:43Jack Mates Happy Hour.

1:19:48Saying how you feel out loud is terrifying, but that's what Hinge's new free audiobook, No Ordinary Love, is all about. It's a collection of real love stories about five couples that met on Hinge. The stories are written and read by Tembi Dinton Hurst, Nicola Dynan, Curtis Garner, Raven Smith, and Rufy Thorpe. I, Hunter Harris, wrote and read the foreword. The audiobook's out now. Give it a listen. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects.

1:20:29And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans.