American Men Dress Like Toddlers... Except This Guy! - Reno, Nevada

0:01Late night bites with friends? Already hard to beat. That first too hot bite of fries you couldn't wait for, followed by ice cold Pepsi. Now that hits different. Suddenly, the energy kicks back in, the night goes longer, and the laughs don't stop. Because Pepsi brings out more flavor, more fun, and more of the moment. Food deserves Pepsi. Grab a Pepsi Zero Sugar today. Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr, this is Crowdwork, and this is me in Reno, in a casino, and there's a guy in a sparkly jacket, and I seem to remember saying mean things to a lady. It's a lot of fun. Good luck. Yeah, you're not that attractive.

0:40Of course, what, sorry? I said you're not that attractive. I'm not that attractive. You know I can see you. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE

0:54I mean, no offense, but you're a Reno 4.

1:12That's an LA 1. If you ever go to New York, you're trans.

1:31What are you doing with a woman?

1:44This feels like a very elaborate cover story. Well, Elton John's left his wig at home. The fuck is that? Your puppet dresses better than you. Your what dresses? Your puppet dresses better than you. Your puppet dresses better than you. You know, you're dressed as a middle-aged lesbian who's let herself go.

2:07I don't want to denigrate the American people, because you are a wonderful people, but gentlemen, you are dressed like fucking toddlers. You have solved for comfort. I get it, you want to be comfortable. And you can go too far the other way. Look at this cunt. But... There's a... There's a happy medium, is what I'm saying. Between the fucking shorts on a grown man... Jesus wept. And Liberace's butt plug.

2:49The shoes, stop it. Um, yeah. Will you love me and my best friend? Can we give you a hug and kiss? What's that mean? Will you love me and my best friend? Can we give you a hug and kiss? No, thank you.

3:05I mean, in fairness, you are a Reno 6, but still, no.

3:13So mean. Have you ever been banned in another country? Have I ever been what? Banned in other countries. Have you ever been banned in other countries? No. Fuck no. I mean, no, it's a weird... No, I play like 47 countries on the tour, but there's like... I think there's 180 countries, I think something like that. But a lot of them are not places with a comedy scene. I think it'll be quite a while before the DRC gets itself a chuckle hut.

3:49It's not my fucking fault, I'm just saying. Jimmy, how come you didn't retire after finishing Toy Story 2? How come I didn't retire after Toy Story 2? Well, you're the idiot because the guy that looks like me is in Toy Story 4.

4:13What's your favourite pizza topic? What's your favourite pizza topic? Pizza topping. What's my favourite pizza topping? Are we on a bad first date? I don't understand what's happening here. The fuck are you talking about? At what point in the last hour did you think, what kind of pizza does this like? It's very well-crafted jokes, but what kind of pizza does he like? The fuck is going on? You're cheaper than my therapist. What's that mean? You're cheaper than my therapist. I imagine your therapist has their fucking work cut out, don't they? He's one of the few therapists getting danger money. Do you know what a devil dog is?

4:56A devil dog is? It's a dog from hell, isn't it? What is a devil dog? It is a United States Marine. A United States Marine? It's called a devil dog. Oh. I'm a big fan of the fucking Marines. Big fan of the Marines, big fan of the U.S. Navy.

5:43Because, well, there's a little thing. Everyone's aware of, not everyone, but most people would know, the Pax Romana. When Rome ruled the world, it was a very peaceful time. And then there was the Pax Britannia, when Britain ruled the waves, and the world was relatively peaceful. And the last 70 years, the world has had peace because of the Pax Americana, which was all because the American Navy took care of ship. That's it.

6:14But, you know, history is an unintended consequence, right? So the Berlin War comes down in 1989, and suddenly America hasn't got an enemy, so every progressive government since has spent less on the Navy. They should spend more on it. The world's a better fucking place with it.

6:33Also, I love a man in uniform. Oh, hello, sailor. So the Devil Dogs, were you in the military sir? I was a Marine. You were a Marine. Of course you fucking were. If you hadn't brought that up, if you brought that up and you weren't a Marine, that would have been fucking psychotic. No mate, no I work at CVS, but you know. I thought you'd want to know. Once a Marine? Once a Marine, always a Marine. Once a Marine, always a Marine. Okay. Okay. Has anyone ever disagreed with that? I think it would take a guy that spends a lot more time in the gym on heavyweights to sort of pitch in and go, no, mate, no, you've left the Marines, you're no longer a fucking Marine.

7:27No. No.

7:33Train to kill? No, I disagree. There's going to be another series of countdown. Yes, there is going to be another series of countdown. And I would add, worst series ever. Because that is who you remind me of. Simpsons go worst series ever. What's your name, my friend? Patrick. What do you do, Patrick? I've worked in surveillance in a casino. You work in surveillance in a casino. Ladies, if you are visiting the laboratory later on, I'm pretty sure Patrick doesn't work in an official capacity.

8:16When you say surveillance, I hear stalker. It makes the bill.

8:27Excellent. Jimmy. Too bad you can't get a girl 23 years younger than you. I got one. Where's this? Where's this guy?

8:42Eat my heart out whilst you eat a child out.

8:51Harsh but fair. Hi, sir.

8:59Were there any good-looking women in that age bracket?

9:06What?

9:17What country wouldn't I go back to? I don't think there is one. I've been to fucking great places. People are people as well. You might not approve of the government of a place, but people are fucking people. It's lovely. Although... We're quite sneery in Europe about the Americans, because there's this statistic that, like, oh, 80 % of Americans don't have a passport. You go, yeah, because they live on a fucking continent. LAUGHTER It's fucking massive.

9:53Full disclosure, if you mention my name when you buy gold at the Pure Gold Company, they will give me a tiny bit more gold. That's how this all works. I wouldn't lie to you, just being honest. I am not a grifter. I wouldn't sell you something that I don't use myself, so I use the Pure Gold Company. If you'd like to invest in physical gold as well, just click the link in the description or head to thepure-gold.co slash jimmy to get your free copy of their investor guide. That's pure-gold.co slash jimmy. Mention my name when you speak to them and you'll get six months of storage secure for your bullion absolutely free.

10:29My God, I'm good to you. If you want to be in the room and actually heckle me, you're going to need a ticket. Go to jimmycar.com and buy one. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans.