In short
Jimmy Carr does crowdwork in Trondheim, Norway, mixing jokes with advice to a parent worried about their 11-year-old son being bullied at school. He tells the parent not to helicopter parent, to teach the child to get through it, and to frame bullying as something that can build empathy and strength. He also mocks school systems and the idea that schools “proudly proclaim” they have no bullies, and reacts to the bullied child being disabled (autism and mental disability).
Guests
Johannes (a trainee electrician student; wears sunglasses and a “wife beater” vest; gets teased about his body and “A cup” chest). Tobias and Monica Pa Forsterad (mother and son; Monica turning 40; Tobias is a chimney sweep; Monica is a surgery nurse). A sign language interpreter (explains sign language as a separate language; discusses interpreting and peer pressure; demonstrates signs).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOSetting the Scene with Humor
0:02 to 0:41
Jimmy interacts humorously with the audience, sharing a light moment about a broken rib.
“This one is from Trondheim and I give advice to a parent who's worried about their son being bullied.”
Audience Interaction on Personal Issues
0:41 to 3:26
Jimmy engages with an audience member about their brother's injury and personal appearance in a humorous manner.
“His girlfriend kicked him in bed with me.”
Advice on Bullying
3:26 to 10:41
Jimmy gives advice to a concerned parent about their son being bullied, emphasizing resilience.
“They're sort of wasting their time, aren't they?”
Finding Silver Linings
10:41 to 12:53
Jimmy discusses the potential positives of bullying, encouraging empathy and character building.
“You know, if you think about it, schools now, schools proudly proclaim...”
Discussion on Tobacco Use
12:53 to 13:32
Jimmy humorously critiques tobacco products and their effects while engaging with the audience.
“Have you ever tried the tobacco form of snooze?”
Crowd Interactions and Sign Language
14:01 to 21:13
Jimmy engages with the audience, exploring humorous interactions and sign language quirks.
“You know, you're not meant to swallow them.”
The Gift of Experiences
21:59 to 22:27
Jimmy emphasizes the importance of experiences over material gifts in relationships.
“The best presents are never things, they're experiences.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr and this is Crowdwork. This one is from Trondheim and I give advice to a parent who's worried about their son being bullied. Stop being funny, my brother broke a rib yesterday. Your brother broke a rib? What was he trying to do, make himself a wife? What?
0:20It gets very lonely here. I don't know why he's speaking like a fucking vampire, but he was. How did you break the rib? I've got a fucking flu. Are you drowning? What the fuck was that? You broke your rib. What happened, sir? His girlfriend kicked him in bed with me. His girlfriend kicked him in bed? I think you might be doing it wrong, sir. I think it...
0:54I mean, his sexual injuries go. A broken rib. The fuck is... How fat's your girlfriend?
1:07Have you got a photo? Is it an aerial shot? Do you have to roll her in flower and look for the wet patch?
1:21Aww. You're balding. I'm balding? Yeah. I don't know. Well, sir, there's so much to talk about here.
1:33What's going on with the sunglasses? You've got them. Hello.
1:44Are they, are you filming this? You just got them. You just got them in the mail. Right before this you got them in the mail Well this is exciting You're saying you got some posts today There's been a small mix up I couldn't give a fuck man What are you talking about?
2:08Okay you're also wearing a What I would describe as a wife beater vest Despite being sort of tubby
2:21It's almost like you've seen some guys online who are fucking ripped in one of those and you've gone I could definitely carry that off I'm here to Disabuse you of that notion You my friend, what's your name? Johannes, you are an A cup You have Yeah Yeah. No, it's best that you hear it from me. I can't believe your friends haven't told you. You have itty bitty titties. And that would not be a problem were you a lady, but I imagine you identify as a man. Okay. What you need to do is get a shirt in the post and fucking put it on, Johannes.
3:15Harsh but fair.
3:22Oh, bless him. I feel bad now. What do you do, Johannes? I go to school. You go to school? They're sort of wasting their time, aren't they? They're pissing in the wind. You're a trainee electrician? Right, because they've obviously thought that's a dangerous job. And they're trying to nudge natural selection along, are they? Yeah. Don't touch that and that at the same time, or you'll die, Johannes.
3:59Or do.
4:04I'm surprised that you filled this venue up when Justin Timberlake is in town. You're surprised I filled this venue up when Justin Timberlake is in town? Well, he's not as funny as me.
4:26Is he in town? Is he doing a gig? Yes. Oh, well, I'm sure it'll be fun. I think you've made the right decision. I'm not dissing Justin Timberlake. He's great. I like both of his songs.
4:43I imagine someone is standing there now in a field going, go on, play the other one.
4:55What does he do for the encore? Do you want more? Have you got more? I'm sure he has a rich and wonderful back catalogue.
5:06Why do you look like a Muppet? Muppet-a-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Okay. Great. Now, say it forwards.
5:19Why do you look like a Muppet? Why do you look like a Muppet? Why do I look like a Muppet?
5:30I guess we all have different gifts, though. I look like a Muppet, but you, you can do the voice of a Muppet. So there's that.
5:51Bizarrely self-confident for a man that's talked like this. What, you look like a Muppet, eh? It's like there's a rush to get the words out. What, you look like a Muppet, eh?
6:11Trump, Putin and you in Vegas. Trump, Putin and me in Vegas. I'd watch it if it was on.
6:27Well, I'm not quite sure what to do with that. I mean, I think I'd probably take him to a buffet. It's no use trying to get them to agree on what we're getting to eat. I think we just all go together, pick out prostitutes. Yes. This is an excellent idea. Me, Trump and Putin in Vegas, we get some prostitutes. Me and Putin do a little side arrangement. Get the prostitutes to urinate on Trump.
7:03Same.
7:10And then I guess your mum goes back to see you.
7:19Too easy. You earned something at the back there, sir. What was it?
7:29Are you trying to start a sing song? Because I'm not from here. I don't know this one. You know. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.
7:44What's that? Is it by Justin Timberlake? Yeah, sure.
7:53Oh, that's what you're doing, you're bringing sexy back.
8:02So he just said, damn right.
8:15Oh, marvelous.
8:25I didn't get any of that. Did I ever perform in whose pub? Would you ever perform at Jeremy Clarkson's pub? Would I have performed in Jeremy Clarkson's pub? Would you ever? Would I ever? Yeah. I'm very good mates with Jeremy. We're friends. So, yeah, sure. I see him a lot.
8:48He's lovely. I used to go on that show. I used to love that show when they used to do it at Top Gear. Fucking great. Have you tried his Lamborghini? Have I tried what? His Lamborghini. His what? The new tractor?
9:04I prefer a John Deere. If we're talking about our favourite fucking tractors, which feels like a very Trondheim conversation.
9:19What's your favourite tractor? You ever fucked your sister? It's good, yeah?
9:31I haven't got a sister but my brother has little tiny boobs
9:39He's kinda the same
9:45How do I kill a kid who is bullying myself?
9:52Excellent question. How old is your son? Eleven. Eleven. That's a tough age to be, I would say. I would say that, I don't know, speaking as a parent, right? I feel bad that your son's being bullied. But you cannot helicopter parent. You can't pave the jungle. You can just teach him to get through it. And I think, yeah, it's a very tough thing. I think on the upside, your kid is being bullied. Yeah? That's terrible. I imagine heartbreaking for you. It's a hard thing to watch your boy go through. But, at least, he's not the fucking bully.
10:41You know, if you think about it, schools now, schools proudly proclaim... Chris Rock made this point, like, if there's no bullies in the school, they're only doing half the fucking job. I hope they're alright. What's going on? What are they teasing him about? It's not Mooms, is it? He's a disabled brother. His disabled brother? Well, they should be bullying the disabled brother.
11:12It's fucking crazy. These bullies are fucking idiots. Tell them from me. I'm relieved you said that. I thought you were going to say man boobs and I was going to apologize. I was going to apologize to your boy.
Read the full transcript
11:31Well, he must know that they're fucking idiots, right? Well, I don't know. I mean, there's... I don't know. Fuck it. Like, look. Tell him from... I don't know whether he's a fan of mine or whether he watches any of my stuff, but tell him from me. I said, you can't have an easy life and a great character. Can't have both.
12:00It'll make him stronger and better and more compassionate in the future. That's good. It'll give him empathy. There's gifts to all of these things. There's always a silver lining to this stuff. But I hope you're all right as well. It's fucking tough, I would imagine. I'm going to bully him less.
12:17I'm not going to fully stop, but less. And what's your disabled son got? What's he working with? He's got autism and mental disability. Autism and some other... OK. I've done my autism jokes. I'm out. Damn it. Well, thank you for being here. and yeah, give your son my regards, but you know, I don't think it reflects on him that you know, sometimes people are cunts. Good luck, we wish you well.
12:59Have you ever tried the tobacco form of snooze? If not, will you try one? I can give you one. Who have we got from the tobacco lobby? You've got some schnooes. No, I've tried the schnooes. I would say it was remarkable how quickly I got a fucking migraine. You just pop it in your mouth and you get the migraine straight away and then in 20 years your teeth fall out, you get cancer. It's not a fucking sales pitch, is it? What does it do for you? Why do you take it? It calms you down. It calms you down. The stimulant nicotine calms you down. Right. You sit on your arse all day. Well, that explains your physique.
13:57What? He fucking knows. He's no stranger. He's taking them on there. I need to calm down.
14:11You know, you're not meant to swallow them. I have it to you. That's where you want the cancer, is it? Right in the fucking front and center? Great. Is everyone doing the schnooze here? Why, you fucking idiots? What the fuck are you thinking? Perhaps you are an idiot. Yes, perhaps you are the idiot. Yes, maybe you're the idiot not putting the cancer sachet in your mouth. Maybe.
14:55Tobias and Monica Pa forsterad More oxen pa forster Look at the world Semin Monica bleu 40 ar om ur urk hip hara
15:23You didn't say, what does it mean? It says Tobias and Monica's on first row, mother and son on first night out Monica's turning 40 in a couple of weeks You're turning 40 in a couple of weeks? Oh, well you look very good on it What's your name, sir? Tobias. Oh, Tobias. Hi. Oh. Obviously, yeah.
15:52Don't be cheeky. I might be... I might be your new dad.
16:02I'm saying your mum looks very... You fit your mum. And I am notoriously a motherfucker.
16:11Happy birthday, Monica. Good luck. All right. Are there any lesbians in? Of course not. Comedy show. Well, of course. Christ.
16:26No, I mean, if you're not, someone needs to tell you a hairdresser. Jesus. And is this your partner? Oh, wonderful. Congratulations. What do you do? You're a what? You're a chimney sweep. Sorry, I just... What year is it?
16:48How fucking weird is Trondheim? Yeah, we don't mind the lesbians, but we send them up the chimney.
16:58Don't call it her chimney.
17:11That's crazy. You love your chimney spoo? Well, this is fucking terrific. And what about the pretty one? What do you do?
17:20What's that? You're a nurse in surgery. Of course, you fucking are. You little hero. You little hero. Hmm?
17:35Hang on, I've got to check in here. You clap in a... You sort of do that, clapping. Is that a thing? Sorry, I'm a sign language interpreter. You're a sign language interpreter? Oh, fucking excellent. And you clap like this. Like with jazz hands. Like it's the 1930s. How is the sign language here? Is it different from sign language in the UK? It is. Okay, I'm going to do a little test here because sometimes sign language is racist. Let's see. We'll see. Okay, so could you translate for me now? Yeah, you could. There's a little thing called peer pressure. Come on, fucking get involved. What is the sign language for Chinese guy?
18:29Chinese. Yeah, what's Chinese?
18:35That's some bullshit. It's exactly what you think it is. Exactly what you think it is. What's blowjob?
18:51It's what?
18:59Mate, she's doing that wrong.
19:05Well, what's sex then? If that's blowjob, what's sex? That? That is sex? Or that? What about, what about, is anal that?
19:22What about if there's, you don't know what anal is? Well, buy her a fucking couple of drinks, man. Loosen her up. Huh? Huh? How... How did you get into being a sign language interpreter? That's a great...
19:43He just told you to shut the fuck up so many times, she went... She took the hint and went, okay, well... How did you get into it? Coincidence. That cannot be the reason.
20:00What? I promise, I love language, so my mother used to do some kind of sign language, and then I was like, okay, I'll do that. It is a fascinating story. No, the story of sign languages. It was invented mainly in San Francisco, in America, and it was a group of deaf people. So you know sign language isn't a translation of your language. It's a totally separate language. It's an entirely different thing. There's a comedian I want to recommend to you called Moshe Kasher. You ever heard of Moshe Kasher? Moshe Kasher is like he's a Jewish guy, kind of hipster looking, amazing American comic. Both his parents are profoundly deaf.
20:38So he grew up speaking sign language, but the story of it is fucking amazing in his book. Moshe Kasher, check it out. Sorry, that wasn't that funny, but it's interesting.
20:53Oh, this guy's on a fucking promise here.
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From the publisher
An audience member asks Jimmy Carr how to handle the fact that their 11-year-old son is being bullied.
To see Jimmy on tour go to http://jimmycarr.com for tickets.
If you are looking to protect your wealth with physical gold, then I highly recommend The Pure Gold Company:
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Just click the link in the description to get your free copy of their investor guide.
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